What are the Associated Characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

This video describes the associated features of narcissistic personality disorder. When we talk about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), we're talking about a Cluster B personality disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). Cluster B personality disorders are considered dramatic, emotional, or erratic. There's NPD and there's also antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personality disorders. NPD has symptoms like grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, having fantasies of a great amount of power or success, envying people we're believing the people envy you, and being arrogant. Here, I'll be going over some of the subtle signs that are associated with NPD and these don't necessarily align with any of the symptoms in the definition for NPD. Some subtle signs are pathological lying, anger in response to criticism, low self-esteem, comorbidity, blame other people when something goes wrong, being a poor listener, and the tendency engage in extramarital affairs.
General description of NPD:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a preoccupation with unlimited success, feeling too special to be understood by regular people, needing excessive admiration, a sense of entitlement, being interpersonally exploitative, having a lack of empathy, being envious and others and believe others are envious of them, and being arrogant. Oftentimes an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder wants to be recognized as superior, believes they are so complex and amazing that they can only be understood by special people, has low self-esteem, devalues the contributions of others, and is condescending. Criticism is not well received by most people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Comorbid disorders include other personality disorders (e.g. Antisocial Personality Disorder), Anorexia Nervosa, and substance use disorders (especially cocaine use disorder). The prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is about 1%. Common goals in mental health treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorder include adjusting behavior to improve relationships, developing skills resolve employment and career issues, and increasing insight. Clinically significant distress is required for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as stated in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).

[@virginiamurrey9139]

I am currently learning about NPD through research, this is a great video that has assured me that I am on the right path of my research.

[@janarose5658]

Spot on! I’ve never heard it explained so well. You have a talent for clarity and accuracy. Thank you

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome 🙂

[@idkman2633]

Lying to disrupt the peace is also to assert dominance. Idiots will fall for the bait.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

Why have peace when you can create chaos, they can't tolerate peace of mind...constant need for stimulation and control.

[@ContinentsEdge]

Item after item you have described my spouse. So many of these characteristics used to leave me bewildered…. why would anyone act this way? And this bewilderment prompted me to soul search…what had I done to deserve his behavior? My marriage has been extremely painful and I am very, very grateful to you, Dr Grande because understanding has led me to a much better place. I am not out of the woods, but things are much better. Thank you. I watch each video several times. And I appreciate your tackling many points from different angles. I have a lot to unlearn.

[@lesliel.6260]

I love Dr. Grande's work, big fan here. He has such a calming voice and demeanor too.

[@dottyp137]

I had a friend with npd ( knew him since childhood) I’ve done reasonably well in life ( not great but acceptable) I’ve raised my children well and they have worked hard and have good careers. So he made up a lawyer daughter ( we live in the UK) who lives in America blah blah blah... now I’ve known this guy from childhood and I know that child does not exist. ( I’ve tripped him up so many times) but still he persists with elaborate stories of her 🥴. He tells me he’s just arrived back from destinations, when I know he hasn’t been any where. Heroic stories of things so far fetched it’s laughable... I always know he’s lying because his lips are moving 😞. And yes it is all a ‘this is how great I am ‘ narrative. He’s evil ( not about the lying) His boundary violations verge on criminal ( touchy-feely 🤮) I was so confused dealing with him. Once I discovered narcissism I knew. Took me a couple of years but I finally plucked up the courage to ask him not to come to my house again. And yes there’s been a smear campaign

[@jamesturner6949]

That does not sound like NPD

[@fluffynipples]

I had a similar experience with someone I used to call my best friend. His stories were always interesting, I'll give him that. He wouldn't stop, he'd spend numerous hours talking about how he saved the day, never asking about anyone else's experience or day, and when asked a question, he'd always go with the answer/option that made him appear even more heroic or essential in the scenario. But he definitely had histrionic tendencies, everyone was his "best friend" or the "love" of his life, no matter the relationship, and when they were gone, he would talk extensively about how he was burdened by their presence and personality. It made me always curious as to what he said about me when I wasn't around. He even attacked me once, after 15 years of friendship, had to go to court, and he sat there lying about how he was the victim, with several "letters" that claimed I hit him - yet no one was present to speak on his behalf. The man was conniving, and even though I always had a hunch that something didn't seem right, I was always there, falling into his trap, helping with cash I didn't have, always paying for the bill, always buying into his manipulative requests, posed as sincere inquiries for something that would only benefit him... Man, what a sap I was. >_

[@nancylpr]

It's interesting. You are the only person on KZbin who I have heard consistently bring up the idea of the "perfect love," It makes soooooo much sense in the instances I have had to be closely associated with people who if I were qualified to diagnose, I'd say both parties to the mix were NPD. These people were not interested in their poor children being anything other than little clones of their "perfect" selves. So yes. It can be genetic but also it can be a forced, learned, "desirable if you are going to survive the environment " behavior.....

[@misschievous5071]

You couldn't say anything to him without making him feel criticized. PERCEIVE criticism when none existed.

[@deeberry650]

You better believe ...everything you have said is my husband to a T ..working on getting out after 30 years ty so much for the truth

[@davidoconnell1173]

Again, a really good description.

[@HumanTypewriter]

Wow, that is disturbingly accurate. No wonder I was diagnosed. Although I struggle with too much empathy, not a lack of it.

[@Margar02]

Hey, it's great that you are aware and you accept it. Most people with NPD deny it (since "everyone else is the problem, not me" is often a thing). Good for you and good luck on your journey to a more healthy state of mind (if that is what you seek)

[@julio-iz3sk]

Bear studios i’m curious, if I may ask. what made you look for help ?

[@Bar_Bar27]

Bear studios too much empathy?! I think the one thing all NPD have in common is a lack of empathy. you can't be one with empathy

[@dailybls]

If you're truly narcissistic, what you call empathy is most likely just intolerance for other's problems. They probably just make you stressed or depressed. Not the same thing as empathy. Not at all. An empath is compelled to actually help others and is invigorated with a sense of purpose, not just depressed and down about hearing other people's miseries.

[@lrrrruleroftheplanetomicro6881]

@@dailybls not necessarily. there's also vulnerable narcissism. I'm diagnosed with NPD and all I wanna do is help others, probably because I can't help myself. Never cause harm intentionally, don't lie, can't cheat on a partner, no anger or rage...

[@lindadecheries9199]

The narcissist constantly needs to test their level of attractiveness and compulsively craves the validation of new partners,

[@chaostheory16]

Linda de Cheries omg yes. I do this all the time... and fly into a narcissistic rage when someone doesn’t find me attractive.

[@NTraveller]

Dr. Grande, I wonder if it would be wrong to mention 'reluctance to abide by any regulation, including agreements, rules, schedules, etc'. From what I found, any kind of regulation is accepted and even appreciated by a narcissist at first, but later on devalued to the point of disgust (they start to perceive it as if someone else imposes the schedule on them). Are there any studies regarding this? And another typical trait I noticed among covert narcissists - high anxiety and being overwhelmed ahead of the important things that 'should be done', that leads to sloth on the personal level or to bossing everybody around. That, in my view, shows that intentions are not directly connected to actions among narcissists. Just a few thoughts

[@chaostheory16]

Mikhail Belkin yes, I have vulnerable narcissism traits or disorder and this characterizes me very well...the anxiety and being overwhelmed by responsibilities. I scored like 4% on the conscientiousness trait, so I’m sure that plays into it.

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

You know, I've heard that if I'm asking if I'm a narc, then I'm not. (Bit of a catch-22 if you ask me.) Then again, all of what I'm hearing in this video is undeniable. Given, I'm not so foolish as to deliberately be an ass to others (although I have left jobs for fear of people finding out the extent of my contempt for them), but the more I learn the less I can deny. I seem to have all nine of the DSM-5 traits, in one capacity or another, and at least six of them are giving me regular problems, especially with learning.

[@SK_TorON]

All of these features are so spot on! I have heard from several psychotherapists that these days they deal more and more with narcissistic and other character disturbed (i.e. of the Cluster B typology) individuals, as opposed to neurotics, unless those neurotics seek help after discovering their neuroticism as a result of a relationship with a character disturbed partner. Do you think that this is a real trend?

[@DrGrande]

I am not sure if the prevalence of Cluster B PDs has increased in recent years. One possible explanation for why some clinicians see more of these disorders is the community has become more aware of personality disorder symptoms.

[@kevinmalone3210]

One of characteristics of a narcissist is they don't take responsibility for their behavior.

[@misschievous5071]

His lies made him look absolutely delusional. He'd lie about even the smallest things.

[@larrytruelove7112]

A security guard once accused me of behaving in a life threatening manner. Fortunately the video showed the accusations to be false.

[@veronicabetz9452]

It would be nice if you did some live sessions like the videos. This is valuable information.

[@ashh848]

This is good. Would there be the same associated characteristics for BPD? If not would you do a video for BPD please?

[@DrGrande]

Thank you! Yes, I will add that idea to the production list.

[@davidoconnell1173]

This is ringing so many bells.

[@freetobememe4358]

My gosh you got all this right on, exaggerations with the npd, esp. coverts.

[@fromeveryting29]

I've never really been a fan of diagnosing human psychology. I think it often leads to over-identification by both the "sufferer" and those around. It becomes the primary framework of understanding the human mind, as opposed to it potentially being a more dynamically evolving system in process. The more "types" of narcissism we make, the more people can be classed as a narcissist, and if you really stretch it, it starts to look like half the people around you are narcs. I see A LOT of poeple, all over youtube saying things like "my narcs", "been abused all my life by narcs". This is a clear victim mentality. Like if you are a victim of a narc, you have done nothing wrong. You are a morally superior victim. .. I don't buy that. I think narcs really arent't that common. And I think most of us have SOME narcissistic traits. Especially if you weren't perfectly nurtured and validated as a child (and who really is). We all want to be seen publicly in a good light, we all have dreams (fantasies) of how we hope our future looks like, we want validation and appretiation and attention. We sometimes manipulate people around us, we sometimes are entiteled and feel special. I've met two people who absolutely fit the description of a narc, in my entire life. I went to school with them. And trust me, they stood out. They were extremely charming at first, but after a while they revealed some bizzare behaviours. They had huge difficulties working with others. THAT'S what makes someone have a personality disorder.

[@chaostheory16]

Good point. I’m struggling with trying to figure out whether i have the full blown PD or just traits. I’m afraid I do. Will find out soon from a professional.

[@joleenshultzabarger8474]

Do you see children with NPD become estranged from their parents as they become adults because they don't like who they really are and they can hide from other people but not their parents?

[@yasminpinarsoy1715]

All of them were experienced..So.true

[@jg5930]

Wow! All of the above. So many 🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@misschievous5071]

Every word out of his mouth was a lie. No exaggeration.

[@janicedixon2051]

I’m surprised that pathological lying was a characteristic. Maybe exaggerating achievements because people with this disorder are dramatic but lying, I would have never expected that.

[@misschievous5071]

Addicted to sex, porn, alcohol. Never accountable for anything. "You made me say that" "You made me do that" Deny deny deny

[@petershaw2566]

Good practical observations which I have noticed with npd folk over the years 🤔

[@redced510]

Can NPD be associated with bulimia or any eating disorder? My 15yo stepdaughter has an eating disorder which is dangerous for her health since she's quite overweight. But on the personality side, I see many traits of NPD. Maybe it's just because she's a teenager, but she meets almost all of the characteristics. It's to the point where I wonder if she has any empathy at all. She's getting help from a therapist for the eating disorder. Thanks

[@Circa1664]

NPD folks can also get fired because they feel entitled to refuse certain tasks/responsibilities.

[@brendamurphy8654]

This fits my husband to a T!!! Thank you for the insight!!!

[@excusemesir7824]

Leave him and run before he kills you lol

[@dstevenkrash]

Hi Dr. Grande, Thank you from all of your viewers and supporters for your high quality and extensive content. Knowledge is like a match, it brings light to the world! Thank you! A very ‘black and white’ question for you which may not be able to be answered very directly however I’m intrigued.. From your own clinical experience and/or literature. How often might an individual who believes they have undiagnosed NPD have the insight to admit themselves to private therapy for their condition? Would it be considered more realistic for an individual who admits themselves for therapy to actually be ‘sub-clinical’ with high levels of Narcissistic Traits instead as they are willing to admit that they feel they have a problem? Or is it still somewhat common for someone with NPD to still be able to admit that they need help? Could it be considered a positive sign that the individual might even have been ‘clinical’ previously, however their levels of Narcissism have been reduced and now they can admit they need some help? I would appreciate any form of reply, I have asked multiple Clinical Psychologists and 2x Psychiatrists and I feel they are trying to protect the ‘fragile ego’ that was once described to them rather than giving a more direct answer. However they are professionals and their perspectives and opinions are respected regardless. Have a wonderful weekend!

[@wandamixon5360]

I am curious about individuals who demonstrate all of the subtle signs of narcissism, at least 4 or 5 of the diagnostic criteria, excluding lack of empathy. I also wonder if these traits decrease in time.

[@Margar02]

Narcissists can definitely have empathy! It's what they do with it that marks their disorder.

[@chaostheory16]

This is a great point. I would relate to many criterion but not the empathy deficiency, so much, or the pathological envy.

[@annesmith1491]

Question, is every time someone responds to my story with their story that is similar narcissistic? I thought they were trying to find a similar situation that happened to them so they can relate to me or my story. I have to say, waiting for the final conclusion of how their story relates to mine is a bit frustrating. Especially if the person cannot get to the point in how their story related to mine. So, there must be a name for this. What is it? mirroring?

[@amybess]

I used to be in a relationship with someone like this. I think I also have some of these characteristics.

[@angelac3788]

Some of the elevations on the psych eval of my son's narc father: paranoia, depression, OCD, anxiety, phobic anxiety, hostility, interpersonal stress, unusual thoughts, somatic issues....Guess who had NO elevations? Survivors can guess! The crazy/bipolar/depressed/lying/neglectful/unstable/evil ex...me! Yes, he lies about everything (sometimes even his name and birth date!)...and blame shifts almost 100% of the time. There wasn't a scale for being a control freak, but that was noted more than once in the psych report. Some of the traits above were elevated on different tests, but if I had to pick one UNUSUAL THOUGHTS is the best description of his behavior. The things that came out of his mouth or that were sent in writing were just nothing like reality...I think that was the most stressful, the cognitive dissonance that came from trying to make his words not contradict reality (before I accepted this was just nuts.) Infidelity = yes! I walked on in him with another woman when I was pregnant. Disengaging from him literally felt like a battle for my life. I remember just thinking that I was going to HOLD ON to reality. That's what it felt like. Like I was being sucked into crazy town and I was halfway down the rabbit hole and desperately trying to climb back up. He would try to tell me WHO I WAS (some put down) or what was said or what happened (lies) and he thought that just by saying it or writing it he could MAKE it true. I would literally tell myself to HOLD ON to reality.

[@chaostheory16]

Angela C he sounds like a malignant narcissist...borderline psychopath. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

[@paulwernke7011]

Is Neuro plasticity bad? Like i read watching porn makes your brain more neuroplastic, but this is immature. Is this narcissism?

[@davidoconnell1173]

......and more bells.

[@nancymedlin3112]

I don’t lie

[@personperson9841]

So,if I don't like a lot of criticism I am narcissist?

[@buffaloshrimp4520]

Sounds like these people are jus confident and never give up on living their best life

[@freetobememe4358]

I have never been heard by this covert. If it weren’t for text but does she really read them, no. It’s all about her and only her.her daughter went to ER and she posted she is not worried about her daughter but herself.

[@leoofwar4622]

I disagree its not a disorder, it's called Free Will, Water or Fire? the Bible Said...

Is NPD=POTUS?

[@illyillyill]

First. Thanks for the Trump video again sir.

[@jackiesorrells5571]

Similar to autism disorder???