what are they talking about?

[@joes5010]

Canada, Alaska isnt there to protect you from Russia because you would lose, its there to protect you because Geneva doesnt have the budget to write up all the warcrimes you would invent as a response.

[@sharpy3453]

i mean, its pretty much military doctrine that if anyone invades us, its gorilla warfare time and all bets are off.

[@BrowncoatInABox]

Hey man, we can't speak when it comes to Geneva

[@NashmanNash]

Good old geneva suggestions

[@pixellordm8780]

Siberia would run red if the Russians tried to take Alaska, let’s be entirely real.

[@TheOmegaXicor]

joking aside, Alaska IS there to protect Russia from Canada, the sale was made to avoid the UK from gaining it after the Crimean War and having a border with Russia, sort of, essentially Russia sold Alaska to America to so America could stand between the Russians and the British Empire.

[@revtoyota]

As an Alaskan that is also a crab boat captain, I approve of this message. I got my loincloth at the ready and a few cans of smoked salmon for fuel.

[@billkraemer4710]

…out of crab, switching to guns…. LOL.

[@zacharyfreelove6101]

Wow, so you possess a more capable boat than anything in the russian navy. Will you be mounting machine guns if Russia decides to f around.

[@matanuskabutler7566]

Mat Valley, here. Keep those pots ready, we got the bait

[@americaforever2798]

Bless you, proud American! To eat canned salmon you are truly hard core. I have a at least 30 year old can of "pink salmon" in my cupboard that I fear to open.

[@thehowlinggamer5784]

Cheers from Nebraska man. People tend to overlook how important local boat life can be. I mean, Dunkirk man. Give them hell when they start slinging those vodka bottles at ya.

[@coutou5302]

Things that I learned to NOT DO against America, after watching countless war documentaries and fun videos about the US military, as a foreigner: - Don't touch the 2nd amendment. - Don't touch American boats. - Dont touch the Americans. - Don't touch their lands, sea, air... you get it. - Lastly *deep breath* God forbid... DON`T TOUCH THEIR OIL. Russia is messing with all the 5 above.

[@jackb4125]

If there is no Fuck Around, there will be no Find Out. Pretty simple foreign policy. You Find Out when and how we want.

[@TheGreatSeraphim]

Don't touch America's angry hat.

[@Iowagrown123]

​@@jackb4125 American government is always fucking around. And Ukraine is laundering money for them, too. Not to mention, NATO keeps putting bases closer to Russia all the time. So, they're poking the bear.

[@chaoticdusk1316]

Good lessons to learn. This countries on a hair trigger and is ready to make it everyone's problem if they poke the bear a bit too much. Ultimately though we're also just protecting the rest of the world from our hat. Geneva suggestions and all that. I fear what may happen should the Canadians decide the Geneva convention needs some new additions cause all I've got between me and them is a bit of Michigan and a giant ass lake... Then again I know several Canadians so maybe they can protect me.

[@timesthree5757]

DNT we Americans invented it. Follow it.

[@hairy-one]

I'm an Alaska resident, and we're more armed than Texas, can fade away into the forest, and can go toe to toe with them Siberians in winter(-37 this morning, and it;s not even very cold.) Plus, we have a lot of bootleggers. (Secret weapon-give it to them and watch 'em do their chronic alcoholic thing.)

[@mbyerly9680]

It's not alcohol, it's antifreeze.

[@Nelsonwmj]

-37 CELSIUS and it's not even "Very cold"? WTF.

[@high633]

​@@Nelsonwmjwe are american its ferhnheit and it topped out at -42 in fairbanks so -41.11 Celsius. Got a co-worker who's sister is in a village and they got to enjoy -47 with ice fog. Enjoy being wet while that cold. Also go high enough up alaska and you get to enjoy 30 day of no sun in the winter and in the summer 30 days of sun got a town famous for it actually.

[@rhov-anion]

I've always loved how Californians are like "OMG it's 50° and freezing," PacNW and New England are like "OMG it's 20° and freezing," the Midwest is like "It's -10° and freezing," while Alaska is like "Only -37°? Bikini ice swimming!"

[@deltaboy767]

​@@NelsonwmjThat is -37 Fahrenheit not Celsius.

[@JingleJangle256]

Unlike the Russian navy, the Alaskan crab-fishermen know how to keep their boats working.

[@glenchapman3899]

The thing is I am not sure those fisherman would even stop laying pots while taking out the Russian navy

[@crackensvideo]

@@glenchapman3899 Why not do both? I'm pretty sure they can do both at once.

[@kevinschneider1820]

I've seen what Alaskan crabbing boats noting what the ukrainians have already done to the Russian Navy I don't think it would be a fair fight

[@chibiusa2018]

​@@kevinschneider1820 yeah we need to downgrade the crab boats~

[@glenchapman3899]

@@crackensvideo I dont know, those crabs look pretty angry lol

[@reverseshotgun721]

Fun history fact: Russians have traditionally sucked at mountain warfare. Fun geography fact: Alaska has 39 different mountain ranges.

[@kolman3178]

I like where this is going.

[@thedude5able]

Hence why the 10th Mountain Division is stationed in Colorado.

[@thejestor9378]

And some of them have active volcanoes which frequently erupt. We know where they are at and when to steer clear of them, I don’t think the Russians have that info.

[@ronjones-6977]

Russians just suck at warfare in general. Their WEATHER is undefeated, though.

[@Irish381]

Try Fort Drum which is in New York. The armpit of the Army. But not as bad as Fort Polk in Louisiana. The butthole and taint of the Army.@@thedude5able

[@magicstix0r]

When someone (a retired navy sailor I work with) asked me why it was such a big deal that Russia took Crimea back from Ukraine in 2014 because it "used to be Russian territory," my exact words were something along the lines of "what if they decided they wanted Alaska back because it used to be Russian territory?" His response was "well they'd never do that." Steve, here's your "fuck you what did I say?" 10 years later.

[@samuelmellars7855]

Another way to put it would be "Hey, there's a lot of US land that used to be owned by Britain and Spain..." And there was a lot of Europe that used to be owned by Germany.

[@cameroncooper5941]

To be fair, invading Ukraine was far easier for Russia because they shared a border, whereas to invade Alaska they would need to pull off an amphibious landing AND manage their troops from the complete opposite end of their country.

[@DavidLodgeclassof]

Look, I'm on your side, but Alaska is much more straightforward than Crimea. Crimeans speak Russian (over 80%), are ethnically Russian (75%), and as far as they're religious, are usually Russian Orthodox. Majority of what remains is Tatars. It was transferred to Ukraine on the basis of economic ties, and being contiguous land mass. It was never intended to be separate from Russia, as it housed their black Sea fleet. After the fall of the USSR, it continued to be freely utilized by Russia as it had been for centuries, since Ukraine was a close ally. After Ukraine switched from a Russian allegiance to a European and Western allegiance, Russia immediately took it back. Those is seen by many Russians as particularly justified because they see Communism as something that they were subjected to unwillingly, and so they are correcting the mistakes of the USSR against their country. This doesn't justify the current conflict, as that's not in Crimea. But it is worth pointing out that literally none of that is true about Alaska.

[@magicstix0r]

@@DavidLodgeclassof that's a whole lot of Russian apologism there. "90% of Americans speak English and almost 70% are ethnically British, therefore America should be returned to the UK." That's you. You should feel bad.

[@DavidLodgeclassof]

@@magicstix0r I'm not sure if you're dumb or intellectually dishonest, but they often go hand in hand, so probably both. Nuance is obviously lost on you, as is the possibility of there being a context to a conflict more complex then "them's the bad guys!", even if that context doesn't justify the conflict. Additionally, you apparently don't know American demographics or history. Most Americans aren't English. There actually isn't a nationality that most Americans trace to, but the biggest two are German and African (most of whom don't know the specific country they were taken from). A better comparison would be that you're saying "Poland's borders were redrawn by those who conquered them, and they should obvious accept those new borders as sacrosanct." The denial of conflict and context does not solve issues. You are suggesting we freeze the map after WWII, with slight modifications to account for the fall of Communism, and that any suggestion that such a map isn't ideal is akin to warmongering. That's simplistic. What we CAN say is that any modification to that map should be made through peaceful means (such as an internationally recognized vote in Crimea that is then respected by all sides).

[@CynicallySarcasticReserves]

Canada would fulfill that Geneva Checklist so fast if given opportunity.

[@user-ny8ft6yl9r]

Our defense budget keeps getting cut, If you're not going to give us conventional means we'll have no choice but to improvise.

[@dsmith8616]

@@user-ny8ft6yl9r I’m sure we can find a way to repurpose those “Blankets” the French and British gave the native Peoples (the small pox blankets weren’t destroyed, just buried) 😅

[@fightme5543]

​@@dsmith8616good to know...

[@chaoticdusk1316]

@@user-ny8ft6yl9r The government really does just want to add some new additions to the Geneva suggestion I mean convention. The last thing anyone wants to face is a battle field full of unsupervised Canadians with improvised battle tactics. It's never a war crime the first time but that doesn't mean it won't get added to the list by the end.

[@tch0s3n0ne]

they'd unlock hidden achievement's even the devs didn't know about..

[@BrazenSal]

As a former Alaskan soldier I recall The Canadians training with us and beating our asses while riding snowmobiles And stealing our strykers. Also the running joke for Fairbanks and ft Wainwright was "IF" Wainwright was to fall. Fort Greeley had the green light to nuke us.

[@Alpha0727]

Thank you for your service! At least you guys knew that if you lost, then you would be taking the entire invading army with you.

[@DEC3TheWokeProject]

Hell fucking yeah get ya sum of that.

[@Allantitan]

@@Alpha0727the literal “if I die then I’m taking you to hell with me” button 😂

[@zl14l41]

Fallout 5 confirmed

[@ChristopherYost]

"There's room in this grave for one more..."

[@peregry]

Missed opportunity: having Japan comment on trying to invade Alaska. During WW2 Japan occupied a few of the Alaskan Aleutian Islands, back then Alaska was just a territory, not a full State, and the US dedicated considerable manpower to drive the Japanese from those islands simply on the principle of "get the fuck off our lawn".

[@AtomicTankGirl]

And Japan left so the US Army didn't have anyone to shoot at so they started fighting the weather, sickness, and themselves.

[@dr.floridamanphd]

Grumpy old man vibes. I love it 😂

[@grimlock1471]

Didn't Japan loose 2 or 3 soldiers when they invaded one of those islands that was UNINHABITED?

[@dustinbragg1921]

​@@AtomicTankGirl Smart move. Us Americans are like 40k orkz; the single worst thing you can do if you want to see us fall is give us an external enemy to fight.

[@thejestor9378]

@@grimlock1471yes

[@robdog1245]

There was a book from one of the deadliest catch captains that talked about them taunting the Russian navy by setting in Russian waters. The Russians came at them with several warships that had 3x their speed and they STILL got away, then they mooned them after they got back in US waters because they knew the Russians were watching through binoculars. The fact a crab boat, one of the slowest vessels built, can get in and out of Russian waters without being intercepted by a bunch of warships, and then can turn around and mock the Russians just goes to show how poorly trained the Russian navy really is.

[@gamefan2023]

I need @the_fat_electrician to do this story

[@Starbean89]

Was it Sig? I feel like Sig did this

[@TheAussieBlue]

Okay, as a country that has its waters illegally fished by foreign fishermen (have i mentioned China today?) I'm gonna have to side with the Russians. Leave their fish alone.

[@airplanenut89]

@@Starbean89 Him or I could also see the Time Bandit's crew doing this.

[@benzles8492]

@@TheAussieBlue They were only returning the favor, the russians have been doing it for decades, how old are you? 15? Even China is stealing fish from Aussie waters ya noob.

[@anthonyrogers3027]

Germans during WW2 referred to the Canadians to' Yetis' during the winter months, as the Canadians were confromatable fighting in the cold.

[@coffeegonewrong]

Didn't know this. Check's out though. A tough European winter is still Construction season for most of Canada.

[@rednovastrum2475]

the japanese also thought marines were made up of prison convicts so yeah....we're a scary hemisphere

[@archangeldo913]

Weren’t we waiting for a reason to use Rapid Dragon??? SEND IT!!!

[@jacobcave1587]

Um how is that a good idea I don’t want a 3rd world war 😳😳😳

[@crowe6961]

@@jacobcave1587 I mean, if they're going to start it, we'd dang well better end it.

[@rholdphoto]

@habitual_linecrosser you will need a voice for the C17 for that video

[@generaljedi8691]

Don’t even need the Buff, just recruit a couple FedEx cargo planes at Anchorage airports and ask the pilots if they’d like some overtime

[@matasa7463]

@@generaljedi8691 Hell, a whole bunch of them were properly former airforce pilots. They would know what to do.

[@natedogg1088]

Love how Russia is getting stomped by Ukraine with 5% of our fires capability... And they think they can face the U.S itself... They must really want a kick in the Putin.

[@hybridstoatdragon]

Let me put this bluntly and say this is them having a deathwish.

[@gingermcgingin4106]

They want to save face. There's no shame in getting your ass pushed in by the kaiju that is the USA military-industrial complex, but Russia had every advantage but the homefield against Ukraine & still can't handle them.

[@natedogg1088]

@@gingermcgingin4106 let's see that if Putin still thinks so when the Kaiju finishes riding them dirty.

[@SoMuchFacepalm]

I suspect that Putin's people are just trying the old distraction technique, but becoming a laughingstock is a play I haven't seen before.

[@willlokeer5469]

It's a bold move Cotton, let's see how it plays out. XDDD@@SoMuchFacepalm

[@philschaefer4651]

As a 30 year Alaska resident I approve of this message. Except forget harpoons, the average Alaskan uses a .300 Win Mag and has a couple AR's just for fun.

[@DesertFernweh]

My Uncle was a guide on the Skwentna River. Told me anything less then a 30-06 is just for playing around.

[@Mistress_of_red]

Why did I just imagine millions of Alaskans with ARS and lightsabers just staring at the Russians as they try to invade Alaska lmao

[@kennethschroeder6532]

@@Mistress_of_red The population of Alaska is less than 1 million, which makes this more impressive in this context :D

[@phoenix0166]

It’s official, Alaskans are just colder, scarier Texans

[@Mistress_of_red]

@@kennethschroeder6532 :00000

[@Ky-kx2hd]

My favorite thing about this whole scenario is that our collective response is genuine laughter 😂 like, nobody is worried at ALL and it's HILARIOUS.

[@Ridliman]

Yes, we actually saw an US lawmaker in TV literaly stifling a laugh when asked about this.

[@connormclernon26]

@@Ridlimanwe have to keep a straight face on camera, but we can cackle in the safety of our heads. The King Crab Fishermen would wipe their Navies from the sea, and the Polar Bears, Grizzlies, and Wolves would feast on them if they do make it to shore. They can barely sustain themselves 50 miles over a land border in Ukraine with a common railway gauge and the roads all leading into theirs, what makes them think they could actually pull it off across a sea with standard vs Russian gauge railways, barely any roads, and some of the most sparsely populated land in the US?

[@primes1937]

As a Florida man, I would like to point out something wrong. A true Florida man would stop at "standing across the ice". The only ice we put up with is in our drinks.

[@ettibbet5493]

Or smoke

[@amorphoussolid8512]

Or gator

[@shred1894]

I had a hilarious though: if for whatever reason Russia tries to invade the US via Cuba into Florida, I'm sure Florida man will be there with a 24 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, an American flag, an alligator skin condom, and absolutely nothing else.

[@DesertFernweh]

and the ice up your nose. I have been to Jacksonville

[@boyscouts83712]

​@DesertFernweh HEY, don't be thrown Shade at Jacksonville

[@Norbrookc]

Russia: "We have sent troops to reclaim our territory." Alaska: "We were wondering why there was all this junk scattered around and the polar bears were looking particularly healthy."

[@SierraKilo76]

ROFLTIP! That one hit hard.

[@AHHHHHHHH21]

Russia needs to remember that although they have the tundra advantage, that's true, they don't quite do well with mountains. And guess what Alaska has a lot of

[@seamusmustapha8378]

the Alaskans would be trying to the hide the tanks and naval ships they "found" while everyone else would be confused why all the bears are overweight. And Russia would asking why the US hasn't responded to the invasion much to Uncle Sam's confustion

[@Norbrookc]

@@seamusmustapha8378 Like our new crab fishing boats? We don't call it "The Deadliest Catch" for nothing!

[@Apollyon67]

@@Norbrookc Do Russians make good chum? Asking for a friend.

[@Akbonkster]

You didn’t even mention the tens of thousands of small planes up here. You’d have bush pilots doing fly-by’s with their Super Cubs coasting at 5-15mph rolling their tundra tires on the tree tops, while their passenger barrages the enemy with whatever gun they want out the side. Heck you could rig a Mk-19 and 240 and call it the Spooker Cub.

[@FlowerMareEnjoyer]

I believe that's the same plane the US Army used for reconnaissance in WW2. Called it the Grasshopper. One crazy bastard strapped a bunch of bazookas to his and destroyed 3 or 4 German tanks.

[@Akbonkster]

@@FlowerMareEnjoyer hard to say, I think the Super Cub is a 1960’s vintage, there’s some ancient stuff around; heard about a guy with a biplane that he flew under a historic license. Everytime he made a bush plane stop he’d setup a card table as part of his traveling exhibit and then proceed to unload his chartered cargo. That’s as much I can remember of the story when I overheard it.

[@FlowerMareEnjoyer]

@@Akbonkster I looked around and I was wrong. It wasn't the Super Cub the army used, it was the older J-3 Cub.

[@cupajoe7258]

the Alaskan Technical...

[@vince9333]

I lived in Alaska and was stationed in the Aleutian Islands. We did search and rescue for the fishing fleet when the Coasties couldn’t. You mess with one dollar of their income and you will be used as bait. That show The Worlds Deadliest Catch got the title right but only ever showed the G-rated stuff.

[@justananonymousperson7011]

Exhibit No. 1 kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKSrm4x_idB9bKM

[@mr.bigfoot6536]

As an Alaskan native I can confirm you do not want to be hit by a harpoon.

[@Allantitan]

As someone from iowa I second this. It sounds painful and that’s if your unlucky enough for them to miss something vital

[@smitty314]

0 outta 10. Would not recommend

[@mrlink206]

Correction, I don’t want to be hit by anything pointy.

[@danielmiller469]

As a southeastern woodland native I gotta say y'all are are a different breed I don't know how y'all deal with that cold weather got my respect for sure.

[@mr.bigfoot6536]

@@danielmiller469 Fur, a lot of fur. My people were island dwellers we got no wood to burn.

[@aarongerard7277]

It's true. Alaska is there to keep us Canadians from going full hockey fight on Russia.

[@Shifty51991]

they are still scared from the summit series lmfao...

[@colinsmith1495]

Let's just say they're a mutual peace keeping force. As in, either way, they keep the Russians in an *acceptable* number of pieces.

[@nadjasunflower1387]

LOL...now i have a vision of Canada wearing the national hockey uniform, Russia doing the same...and Alaska wearing ref stripes. it's stupid but I'm laughing too hard to care.🤣

[@Jame5man]

@@Shifty51991 No, the Punch-up in Piestany

[@Ragingroxes]

Underrated comment lol

[@aganaom1712]

we have the receipt for the purchase and if they don't accept paper anymore, we'll be more than happy to send multiple copies in brass

[@stormisuedonym4599]

As a soldier who was formerly stationed in Alaska... Oh, oh honey, Russia, no. You don't want that. You don't want any part of what they are. This would be one of those stories that ends with you sprinting towards the troops waving your undies as a white flag in desperation to surrender before the civilians and wildlife get more of you. And then nobody would tell it, because taking prisoners is more paperwork than committing a warcrime, if nobody hears about it.

[@JaredJanhsen]

Is it a war crime when civilians do it? Asking for a friend.

[@Gilhelmi]

​@@JaredJanhsenThat would be an interesting legal case. I would say that those treaties only apply to formal militaries...... but the line between "civilian" and "soldier" is a lot more grey in the US. Some things that might be considered a "war crime" against any other nation might not apply to US "civilians" in a place like Alaska because most would take up arms to defend....... that said, they would not be a "formal" military so they would not be able to be charged with war crimes either......... We need legal experts to debate this issue...... mostly because I am just curious. Won't change much because Alaska would not fall because the people there won't let it happen.

[@ricksanchez5845]

@@Gilhelmilegal or not, would they really find out if we just “feed” the bears a little bit

[@ApedogAK]

Lived in Alaska my whole life, when I bought my first AR, the guy at the counter tried to talk me into another model cause it would “be better at hitting paratroopers”. Real story.

[@TestUser-cf4wj]

AR-15 or AR-10? The holes poked are substantially different.

[@ApedogAK]

I got a regular 556, he was tryin to talk me into an HCAR lol. @@TestUser-cf4wj

[@venerablebrothergoriate5844]

Shiiiet did you go to Eagle River Gun Cache too? I mean, Brian there didn't say anything about paratroopers, but he DID talk plenty about punching through body armor.

[@jonathonspears7736]

That's hilarious

[@ApedogAK]

Nah Alaska Tactical on Muldoon@@venerablebrothergoriate5844

[@Jeff.78]

Seward's Folly was money well spent. $7.2 million, which is less than 2 cents an acre, even in 1867, was a smart move to simply own the land and see what the future brings...an HLC video✌️😎

[@moonmelons]

Historically it was even a good deal for Russia. They were afraid that after getting their asses kicked by the British that Canada (who was still part of Britain at the time) was going to invade and take Alaska, so they sold it to the US rather than let the British take it for free.

[@mercwiththemouthsnewphone6798]

As it turns out, it paid for itself in precious metals and seafood

[@Jeff.78]

@@mercwiththemouthsnewphone6798 It's also a massive land barrier loaded with oil.

[@andyrector2656]

@@Jeff.78 Not to mention the strategic reach provided by a certain place where anchors are dropped. Almost like it was named appropriately.

[@Jeff.78]

@andyrector2656 Incompetent war criminal on one side, successful war criminal on the other... Alaska has interesting neighbors, and thankfully, we're close allies with the better side. Geneva Suggestions has entered the chat...

[@jmustianjr]

bro, as an older Vet who has been on YT for YEARS, I can honestly say your videos are some of the FUNNIEST s*&t I see on here. Please don't ever stop being YOU.

[@justinfalatek4671]

Alaskaman/Floridaman is the crossover story we didn't know we needed. Just a bunch of dudes in loin cloths (and Floridaman in a parka if the temp is below 70 degrees) on bath salts riding around on airboats and snowmobiles feeding smoked salmon to their tactical attack alligator while blasting fortunate son on repeat.

[@MultiMachinegunner]

Naw, first they do Ride of the Valkyries THEN Fortunate Son on repeat 😂😂😂

[@vgfd619]

Funny!!! And the kid is stationed in Alaska!! He would finally get to intercept something!!!

[@jdluntjr76226]

That is correct - heck he would take out 2/3 of the Russian Air Force by himself - maybe an ace the first engagement

[@jamesmerkel1932]

​@@jdluntjr76226 Russia would have to field enough aircraft for him to get Ace status first. I don't like their chances 😂

[@Allantitan]

@@jamesmerkel1932and they would have to survive take off as well 😂

[@clevtrog]

MIG 29: Oh hey!, you like music? F-22: Your strangely friendly, but yes, lets dance shall we?.

[@smilysht238]

Sounds to me like Russia may try to pull a pearl harbor on Alaska just to keep the kid out of the fight

[@TheMcEwens419]

FAFO take #2,431,867. . Putler still hasn't learned.😂 PROPORTIONAL response please?!😂

[@brendancross2767]

"I think the guard has too much fight in them how about the girl scouts?"

[@hairy-one]

@@brendancross2767 Fairbanks Farthest North Girl Scout Council. Lots of them girls hunt caribou with decently sized rifles, and can handle daddy's AR-15. Help feed the family and feed the needy.

[@apierion]

The proportional response if Russia even attempted a move on Alaska would make desert storm look like a picnic.

[@richardtalbott6215]

Putler. That's funny.

[@RealJordi]

@@apierion Lmao

[@wampsgames9973]

i heard an alaskan dude say " I hope they try, those AKs would look nice in my collation"

[@cupajoe7258]

commie ammo has been harder to come by since Obummer,

[@Sinyao]

Russia forgot they sold it dirt cheap to the USA because they found it too inhospitable. Fun fact: Russia also made it as far as California and still couldn't figure out how to survive more than a few years.

[@carlyar5281]

Yep. Russia lost so much money trying to maintain a presence that they cut their losses and sold the land to the United States so they wouldn’t have a border with Britain.

[@jacklau2558]

Are we going to mention the time they tried to colonize Hawaii and got pushed out by the natives.

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

Given the droughts and (related) wildfires, I understand not being able to crack California.

[@Michael-ex8lk]

How to immediately make every single American scream "WOLVERINES" at the top of their lungs and sprint across the water through sheer force of freedom.

[@AlgaeNymph]

Except it'd be less high schoolers and more like _Wolverine._

[@mariobadia4553]

Except the US military would never show up because next to nobody wants to join the military because they know they know the United States government will leave them out to starve to death on the street

[@mariobadia4553]

Oh and what that movie doesn't show is that after the movie ends every single surviving student suffers from PTSD and the US government does absolutely nothing to help them and actively tells them to go f*** themselves every time they try to reach out to the government for help. I mean that would be the realistic ending to that movie

[@engmed4400]

@@mariobadia4553 sad but true

[@jeffreyskoritowski4114]

​@mariobadia4553 Sad but true. You're no fun at parties at all, are you?

[@supr3m3panda]

Man, the next season of Deadliest Catch is gonna be wild!

[@mammaletsplay5295]

Why? A king crab is scarier then a Russian U-boat...

[@DarkKnightofIT]

​@@mammaletsplay5295 But infinitely more numerous! So it'd be a rebranding where they try to catch one that's vaguely functional.

[@grimlock1471]

Haven't they had issues with non-US crab boats working in US waters? Pots with black trash bags on the buoys which were also un-labeled or something.

[@helenaalexandra4197]

Sure, but they'd have to contend with Russian paper pirates in addition to the weather, ect. I doubt the show producers are offering bounties on ruskies.

[@markbutler5977]

All I can hear is Sigg shouting "ramming speed" at mandy as she throws the throttle full forward. 🤷🤣

[@therealbahamut]

I am neither Alaskan, nor Floridian, nor Russian nor Canadian and I STILL approve of this message.

[@darkthunder168]

The fact that even Florida would think twice before trying to attack Alaska should be a warning to everyone 🤣🤣

[@DesertFernweh]

As an Alaskan I would just like to speak for my people when I say to Russia " I'm your huckleberry"

[@akasha9141]

Why Vladimir, you look like someone just walked over your grave

[@WEKM]

Oh, it's ON now.

[@DesertFernweh]

@@WEKM "Say when"

[@geekymetalhead5112]

I will never get tired of Tombstone references

[@DesertFernweh]

@@geekymetalhead5112 IKR, it just works when ever you have to invoke a little bit of bad ass.

[@user-qw8oi9ll2h]

As someone born and raised in Alaska, if Russia invaded, they would have a really bad day.

[@TestUser-cf4wj]

If you french fry when you're supposed to pizza, you're gonna have a bad day.

[@quinncykaluzniak5429]

Alaska is the closest thing you could get to a combination of America's military budget and Canadian "creativity"

[@bradszymanski9910]

As an Alaskan that was beautifully put😊

[@quinncykaluzniak5429]

@@bradszymanski9910 why thank you

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

and Florida's insanity :D

[@BradanKlauer-mn4mp]

And Texas’ love for the 2nd Amendment.

[@psychocuda]

Alaska has a population of 732,673. 64.5% own guns. That's more than most standing armies on Earth. Good luck, Ivan.

[@GrimnirsGrudge]

Fantastic statistic work there bud.

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

that's actually a lowball estimate as a lot of us refuse to answer questions about our firearms in this state. Other than seasonal workers from the lower 48, I don't know anyone up here who's not armed to the bloody teeth. If I had to guess, I'd say the actual number is closer to 70-75%

[@BoopleSnuffeGaming]

"We're going to take Alaska back!" hhahahahHAHAHAHAHA...ha...ah...ha....ha HAHHAHAHHAHAHAH. I'd love to see them try.

[@Grimstroke]

You know, if you replace China with Russia, this is the starting plot of Fallout.

[@SockieTheSockPuppet]

Exactly what I thought when the "grubby hands" part happened.

[@andrewroberts3187]

Looking forward to fighting rad scorpions

[@djangel3108]

Don't you mean replacing Russia with China?

[@Nazo-kage]

Russia planning to take back Alaska would be one of the dumbest moves they could possibly make. Because that would officially bring us into conflict with them. So far we’ve just been giving aid to Ukraine, and trying very hard to balance it out without giving them too much. If Russia tries to take Alaska, we won’t be worrying about giving them too much anymore because we will be actually part of the conflict. Maybe they should consider just finishing the first issue. They’ve got with Ukraine before considering trying to have an issue with somebody else.

[@gradywall3086]

As a Canadian I am so looking forward to adding a second draft to the Geneva Convention

[@geekymetalhead5112]

What about a 2nd chapter?

[@gradywall3086]

@@geekymetalhead5112 there’s always space for more

[@Wolfer13579]

Okay, if Florida, FLORIDA, says they don’t mess around with something, then that’s an issue to everyone!

[@CommissarMitch]

As someone from Sweden all I can do is give props for people who live in Alaska. You are heroes.

[@tntk3218]

Alaskabor är fan norrmän på tjack

[@jakehammer1107]

Norske/Swede Alaskan here. Lutefisk and smoked salmon keep us strong!

[@B1gLupu]

Mate, its just as cold in northern Sweden as it is in Alaska.

[@CommissarMitch]

@B1gLupu We do still have the Gulf Stream so it is not as cold as Alaska gets.

[@zacharyfreelove6101]

Okay, I have a question. As someone who is Swedish, were yall taught and still taught about the whiskey on the rocks incident? Also, love, yall swedes would like to move there but not really happy about the no guns thing. So Finland it is.

[@vasudeanguy8523]

I swear if they try to pull that stunt, by the time US is done with them, Russia will become West Alaska.

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

West Taiwan will have a friend! :D

[@GoblinKnightLeo]

So are the going to refund the $6 million we paid for Alaska, adjusted for inflation? I genuinely don't think they could afford it.

[@rednovastrum2475]

i dont think they could even afford to pay us back the price we paid for it....

[@venerablebrothergoriate5844]

Lol they wouldnt be able to afford it even if they weren't getting dumpstered by Ukraine right now

[@somerandomalbinodude]

if ruzzia tries to take Alaska back would Poland be mad that the US got a reason to invoke article 5 before they did, or happy they finally get to fight ruzzia?

[@grimlock1471]

I think Option B

[@Jitterfreak74]

Definitely option b

[@TestUser-cf4wj]

Poland: I've been at this party since 1999 and that fucking beer keg still hasn't been tapped.

[@DEC3TheWokeProject]

Poland is just lying in waiting and I love it.

[@apocalypsecod]

Yes.

[@bigernbladesmith]

I was stationed in Alaska in the early 2000s when the 22 came. The kid came for a visit and liked it so much he stayed. Think about that Russia, the 22 decided it was his kinda place full of his kinda people. 🙂

[@heavensbeardedheathen6999]

Would you intercept Alaska, I'd intercept Alaska!!!!

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

to be fair, those of us who grew up here are... well, "eccentric" isn't quite the right word, and "creatively and potentially lethally batshit insane" is a mouthful, but yeah, the F-22 would fit pretty well as our collective spirit animal :D

[@derekbootle8316]

Alaskans hunt bears for fun. They hunt a 1500lbvtank with horns for food. Everyone up there is trained like the Finnish "white death". Good luck getting your land back.

[@spectrumstudios4848]

As an Alaskan it would be 20 times harder to invade a single Alaskan island than the entire lower 48. If your don’t believe me ask the Japanese.

[@Song1486]

Russia: America, we are coming for Alaska. The Discovery Channel: On this season of the Deadliest Catch, they’re not searching for crabs to catch…

[@renedereus1877]

*montage of F/V Time Bandit installing 16 inch guns on the forward deck* 'Borrowed these off the USS Iowa'

[@archangeldo913]

No evidence of this, but I’m pretty sure that Russians have plenty of “crabs” starting from the get go.

[@garryflint7419]

I just thought when I saw Deadliest Catch that they were filling bait bags with Russians.

[@donmak1614]

Now they'll be searching for Russian subs

[@ricksanchez5845]

@@garryflint7419hey free crab bait. Win win

[@jobanh7ify]

Alaska would be like, “hold my cold beer” 😂

[@ij1376]

*Frozen. Hold my *frozen beer.

[@ronjones-6977]

Or...beersicle, as the case may be.

[@TestUser-cf4wj]

Nah, more like, "Hold my ice cream cone." Hey Alaska, I hear you like cold so I put some cold in your cold for you.

[@breakdown3317]

My hand is now frozen to the beer bottle, please send help

[@illbeyourmonster1959]

@BollywoodNewzz Go get a real job you bum.

[@IgnisVertex]

Let's be honest, Alaskans are the perfect hybrid of Canadian and American: All the ruthlessness of the former, with the latter's hair trigger and defense budget. :P

[@venerablebrothergoriate5844]

Don't forget the alcoholism lol

[@MichaelSHartman]

I will stand up for Canada. They helped us with the DEW Line, and continue to help us with the North Warning System. If Russia ever makes Canada stop apologizing, I won't be responsible for what they do (nor stop them).

[@jloiben12]

I saw a quote recently about how God created war so Americans can learn geography and I need to see that incorporated in one of these videos

[@Director_Orson_Krennic]

You're goddamn right that's how it goes

[@joshuabower219]

Best quote of all time

[@christianpalmer]

Actually war is a result of the fall of man from a dignified position called being in the garden of Eden it was when man had dominion over everything and was essentially a ruler of all next to God of course but not greater than him.

[@colinjones4629]

r/woosh@@christianpalmer

[@chrisferguson5661]

​@christianpalmer I bet you are all kinds of fun at parties.

[@colinsmith1495]

Holy crud, when you hear Florida Man say 'Nope, that's too crazy for me', you KNOW you done f-ed up!

[@TestUser-cf4wj]

Florida man thought gators and water moccasins meant he was tough, then he learned about polar bears and moose.

[@Allantitan]

@@TestUser-cf4wjand it’s a toss up on which is worse to fight

[@AlleluiaElizabeth]

@@TestUser-cf4wjFloridians just straight up do not like snow. Any other threats there are already starting with a bonus.

[@TheGreatThicc]

​​@@Allantitanat least the Polar Bear might kill you instantly with that nasty bite or crushing you under its weight. The Moose knows how to keep you alive

[@shadowdevil126]

@@Allantitan not at all i would rather face 10 gators than a single polar bear same goes for moose

[@Jame5man]

Canada: Peace isn’t a choice, it’s your only hope of survival

[@Loafed_Beans]

Also a quick reminder, Raptor has a squadron stationed in Alaska so yeah, He would absolutely love to see Russia try

[@Ohiotrucker1]

And let's not forget Alaska has the highest concentration of F22s of anywhere.

[@762x69]

Finally the kid will get to eat and eat good 😂

[@bradszymanski9910]

@@762x69if their planes even make it over the coast without breaking down😂

[@steellion907]

As someone raised in Alaska, i approve this message!

[@Cedar_Wolf]

Are y'all gonna be okay up there, being one of the world's last lines of defense against Canada?

[@Fourtytwo4242]

Generally most of America knows, Alaska is the vikings of America, they live in a frozen hell, filled with bears, wolves, FUCKING POLAR BEARS and so cold that you freeze to death if you don't know shit. What more scary, they like it that way, Alaska main way to get food is to take a gun and just find something to eat, That the stereotype of Alaskans, their fucking scary. Most of America knows to just leave them be and let them do their own thing.

[@illbeyourmonster1959]

@BollywoodNewzz *

[@ericdark6183]

Could not have picked a worse state to go after rusty, and if Florida says you just messed up. Why do people keep forgetting Polar Bears can track you for miles, and the only type of bear that... *[Actively Hunts Humans]*

[@coffeegonewrong]

It's not that they strictly hunt humans...it's just they view the world as "Meat" and "Things to bite through if it smells like meat inside"

[@gigacanno750]

They know who to blame for global warming and are getting it back in blood!

[@polie67]

As an Alaskan who now lives in Florida, I approve of this message.

[@cadesmith6982]

It’s good to see a fellow Alaskan-Floridian hybrid

[@scottbroyles2114]

That's a special kind of crazy right there

[@GhostBear3067]

Got tired of the cold?

[@mrlink206]

You enjoying the heat?

[@crustybomb115]

damn thats a VAST change in climate...

[@richardmyhan3369]

I laughed way too hard at the part about beaver skin loincloths. 😂😂

[@MrToubrouk]

Oh yes, the traditional Canadian mating dress.

[@TheGreatThicc]

​@@MrToubrouktraditional Canadian mating ritual attire, traditional Alaskan war attire.

[@MrToubrouk]

@@TheGreatThicc It's all about screwing someone's else at the end... :)

[@michaelbenjmitchell1]

That would take alot of beavers you know. they aren't that big a critter.

[@MarcosElMalo2]

@@michaelbenjmitchell1 They aren’t really loincloths. They’re just bushes so hairy they hide the genitals.

[@heavenst.murgatroyd3128]

As a retiree of 21+ years and as an Alaskan resident (thanks for leaving me in Ft. Wainwright, AK, Uncle Sam), I approve of this message!

[@andrewprice613]

Here’s the thing. If Florida has to be the voice of reason, just don’t do it.

[@michaelplowman8674]

Beaver skin loin cloths throwing harpoons is a line I never knew I needed to hear.

[@baoxidiaoyu]

As an Alaskan, I have a correction. They're bikinis, not loincloths. Please order some. And they comein multiple skins ... Some beavers are au naturale

[@hybridstoatdragon]

May I ask how insulated the cabins are? I heard they are super cozy. Am I being mislead?

[@Gtfobcso2024]

😅😂❤

[@oldschoolmarine3047]

Can I order my wife one as a really skimpy one with bits of chain mail attached? She already has an armored chest piece.

[@Indyofthedead]

You may have my thumbs up and a slow clap, you cheeky, cheeky bastard.

[@truegrit2060]

It would only take 55 miles of F*** around to find out.🤣

[@madman026]

Let that sink in even Floridians think Alaskans are some crazy mofos

[@aaliyah7792]

We are though

[@Deathzt89]

I love Canada's take on who Alaska is protecting from who 🤣

[@airplanemaniacgaming7877]

Well you don't think that Russia would actually make it that far when we step in and show why we were nightmare fuel for Germany in both world wars now do ya there bud?

[@Nempo13]

@@airplanemaniacgaming7877 While true, only one force got a nickname from the Germans due to just how much they hated fighting against them. There is a reason the Marines were dubbed 'Devil Dogs'.

[@fredbrochu8322]

@@Nempo13 Might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the marines were deployed in the pacific, not the eastern Europe front.

[@airplanemaniacgaming7877]

@@fredbrochu8322 Nempo's comment was in reference to World War 1 (The one where America did fuck-all to jack-shit in terms of contributing to the fighting) Yeah sure the Marines were called Devil Dogs, but WE have a Francis Pegahmagabow.

[@deltaboy767]

​@fredbrochu8322Correct the US Marines were deployed in the Pacific theater of WW2, not in Western Europe. The US forces deployed in the European theater of the war was, the US Army, and the US Army Air Corps, today known as the US Air Force.

[@bludhund]

Of all the creative ways to un-alive themselves that Russians have invented, invading Alaska is pretty top-tier insane.

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

I mean, it's winter up here and we're bored, sooooo.... who wants to watch North America's version of Finland get creative with invaders to alleviate winter boredom? Show of hands? 😁

[@F.O.Cause.U.S]

I live in Alaska and we just praying to get some more experience points. Plus we don't want all this 50 cal ammo to get dust here. We practice all the time but could do with moving targets.

[@shawnfurness]

As an Alaskan, all I will say is, come and take it.

[@zacharyfreelove6101]

This is perfect, dude. Alaska, where a single fishing boat captain is more capable than any Russian navy officer.

[@donvielenio8956]

It's easy to be the better captain if your boats are not regularly promoted to submarines.

[@BrassMtn]

I was stationed at fort wainwright Alaska and I truly miss it. It was a awesome duty station. Yes every duty station has its good and bad but c’mon! Your in Alaska! Go out and see it! The northern lights, the millions of hiking trails, moose for days, fish your heart out, camp like there is no tomorrow. The Iditarod came through Fairbanks while I was stationed there, they got ice fishing, snowboarding, skiing, natural hot springs, 4 wheeling, and the winter ice sculptures are incredible! It’s truly a outdoor fun park, just avoid the grizzly, wolves, and moose because they will end you..

[@ronjones-6977]

Is it true that there are only TWO seasons in Alaska: Winter and mosquito?

[@silverjohn6037]

Knew some troops that served in the Canadian Pine and Dew lines back in the day. They were able to take their families with them to some of the Pine stations and said they came back with huge balances in the bank because, once they had the outboard and snowmobile paid off, there wasn't a lot else to spend their money on.

[@mrlink206]

Moose especially.

[@MichaelSHartman]

​@@ronjones-6977 Black flies that bite, and come in clouds.

[@luckypunk1115]

Nope it’s winter and construction with mosquitoes.

[@kellerweskier7214]

Canada: It pretty expensive to be shooting 25mm at them lightly armored soviet boat tanks there. So, we just invented something neat! :) we all know about APFDS. so, we decided to remove the fins and sabot part. We just made a very heavy kinetic rod fit into a 20mm casing. And almost done with the 12.7mm variant as well. Oh, we do have in the works to deal with that supposed russian body armor by shrinking this idea down into a 308 there. A nice, heavy projectile with a high muzzle velocity, with correct weight-balance in it for stability. its also aerodynamic. The R&D buds say that these things will just go right through human flesh... but. thats not our problem, is it bud.

[@carlost.9233]

As a Florida resident myself, I’d like to state that I do in fact view Alaskan-winter residents as absolute units of homeostasis… I can’t fathom living in temperatures 28 below zero, literally never experienced it, yet I’ve seen photos of Alaskan college students standing outside of a school sign showing -28F while in their bathing suits. Us Florida men will stay in our Everglades, and you Alaskans stay clear across the continent in your frozen tundra, and all will be well.

[@danieljensen794]

The coldest I ever experienced living up there was -73F. That was a day all right but it wasn't the worst winter weather I've been in. The worst was -65F with 120m/h wind that made snow drifts over 60 feet tall. Buildings disappeared that day.

[@lizs8853]

​@@danieljensen794right, if thaw is coming, that's practically spring.

[@someguywithaphone5921]

Haaaahahaha!!! Yeah! This was so damn good. Please, allow me... (ahem) Hey Canada, Russia said Ovechkin is better than Gretzky in every way, and I heard through the grapevine that they are developing pancakes that are resistant to maple syrup.

[@avroarchitect1793]

Vancouver NHL riot 2.0 ensues

[@HawkGaming3721]

This is past war this is an assault on culture, PANCAKES. NEED. SYRUP!

[@oldschoolmarine3047]

Dammmmnnnnnn!

[@kybornrebel1]

Someone definitely wants to see the world burn 🤣

[@someguywithaphone5921]

@@kybornrebel1 Nah, I just want Tim Horton's locations in Moscow. Actually, I'm tired of hearing how Russians live. I think if Canada took over, their lives would improve greatly. Give the Inuit People some REAL swaths of land. Plus, if the Leafs move to St. Petersburg, they might actually win a Cup! (just kidding Toronto, that probably won't help)

[@daburgerbandit1598]

OK, I'm living under a rock... Is Russia actually trying to get it's hands on Alaska? That's so uniquely idiotic, I'm honestly struggling to believe it.

[@portmoneul]

They do this every year. And every year America just remiinds Russia who they are trying to invade and reclaim. A bunch of people who go in the middle of nowhere to not be bothered. That live on the land and that, although have guns, they are not at the top of the food chain. The cold is. Then the bears. Then the wind. Then the night. Then the moose. Then the American air force. Then the navy. Good luck.

[@seamusmustapha8378]

Dude it's Russia uniquely idiotic is there forte

[@mr_h831]

They haven't actually _tried_ anything yet, but they're doing some serious posturing. But that being said, I ain't worried about it. I mean fuck, they can't even beat a bunch of farmers with our tech, imagine what happens when they actually meet some well trained soldiers. 😂

[@lyonmane2689]

​@@mr_h831it's not the soldiers you should worry about.... They gotta follow Geneva. It's those mountain folk with Waaay too much time on their hands that have just been waiting for the day.

[@archangeldo913]

Relax. Everyone knows that Russia can’t go past 50 miles ON LAND before fucking up. What makes you think they’ll fare any better on water?

[@tarnocdoino3857]

Hey northern neighbors: remember that it’s never a war crime the first time. (Love you rotund electricity guy).

[@rhov-anion]

In WWII, my grandfather was stationed in Alaska as part of bailing the USSR out by delivering goods to them. (We bailed out all of our Allies with boots, beans, and bullets.) He was a 6'4" hardened Southerner who worked as a speakeasy bouncer during Prohibition, yet he'd say, "Even Texans don't mess with Alaskans."

[@user-xt5yz8wm7z]

Troll 🤣🤣

[@riktor3005]

I'm really hoping we get an 'F-22 reacts' video to the YT video titled "POV: You are a russian pilot entering Alaskan airspace" I can't help but think it would be both hilarious and fitting.

[@somerandom5535]

Can't wait for Liberty Prime to be deployed to Alaska

[@The_Borisaurus]

YES

[@BenSuzuki]

COMMUNIST DETECTED ON AMERICAN SOIL

[@deathcompanybattlebrother]

Operation anchorage moment

[@mikoto7693]

That would be awesome.

[@SpaceBattleshipYamato-ps2jc]

"Communism is the very definition of failure"

[@Zulu87351]

Love seeing Florida wrapping it up nicely.

[@welderbear6757]

You know you’re about to do something extremely fucking stupid when Florida is the voice of reason.

[@Rattlehead-gy9ct]

My uncle lives in Alaska. He hunts moose, has a gun that is specifically for killing grizzlies, and used to be an airborne firefighter. One of my favorite relatives, in one of my favorite states

[@brandonchildress4031]

See, the key takeaway from your comment is the "gun that is specifically for killing grizzlies", and it just makes me think of one particular quote from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. "Oh fuck, that's an anti-tank rifle. OH FUCK, THAT'S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!" Lived nearly 4 years in Anchorage, absolutely loved it.

[@longshucksgaming]

​@@brandonchildress4031STILL disappointed they passed up a perfect chance to say bitches love cannons when police girl had that 88 pointed at nazi guy's bubble

[@DarkWindsoftheVoid55]

The moose hunting is scarier than the grizzly killing, truth be told

[@alavanhe]

bitches love cannons

[@geekymetalhead5112]

​@@brandonchildress4031 Russia: "But we had every advantage (not really), how did you beat us so easily?" US and Canada: "Fuck you that's how!"

[@appo9357]

I’ve never met a crab fisherman, but even I know not to mess with one. Good luck with that Russia. 😂

[@Nelsonwmj]

IF they're anything like the ones we see on Deadliest Catch... Yep, good luck Russkies.

[@alastairlong4444]

Even the mafia won’t mess with Alaska crab fisherman. That should be Russia’s first clue.

[@MegumiZero]

As a southern Canadian I'm with Florida. Those northern folk don't sleep right. Rule of thumb, don't fuk around with anyone north of 60° but I'd bump that down to Juneau just to be safe (too many vowels). Edit: Alaska, what's "yee haa" in snowman?👌

[@zsoltgyuricza6961]

Honestly at this point I'm just leaning back, grabbing some popcorn and saying: OH REALLY NOW? DO IT!

[@Calamity5]

my guess is they're trying to bring some anti US nations (china, Nkorea, iran) into it, and to (as someone said earlier) save face. if you lose to the US, that's understandable. if you lose to ukraine, that is a humiliation.

[@CJ-jo6do]

You can fly planes above Alaska, have your boats around it, but having feet on the ground is going ot be hard to come by. The highest death count is going to be from wildlife and personal just going missing, with no bodies found. The only thing worser is if you somehow survive long enough to face Canada. Literally walking through the frozen hell just to face the war crime champions, 😅

[@thejestor9378]

You forgot about the volcanoes.. Alaskans know where those are to avoid them, but I don’t think the Russians have that info.

[@glenchapman3899]

@@thejestor9378 I could see the casualty list now. 12 soldiers KIA 120,000 MIA

[@Allantitan]

@@thejestor9378I’m sure they also know how to “accidentally” cause someone to get “lost” bear 1 😂

[@flamingrubys11]

russian winters with hot blooded americans

[@coffeegonewrong]

Ah, we'd wait a bit, let them feed the Polar Bears first. I've seen what a hungry polar bear will do to a building to get at food....I'd bet money they could stop a tank.

[@georgeford6056]

Alaska man and Florida man: twin sons of different mothers.

[@gilmadreth680]

The fact that this should not make sense under any circumstance and yet still makes perfect sense in this context both amazes and infurates me. Well done.

[@jackclark1994]

i prefer to think of them as twins separated at birth.

[@15sherpinski]

Fun fact, ukraine covers approximately 233,000 square miles of generally flat, fertile ground with the exeptions of the south and western mountain ranges. Russia continues to struggle with establishing logistical lines through the country despite having military installations within miles of the border. Alaska covers over 500,000 square miles of mountainous, inhospitable land with 36 separate mountain ranges across the state and is seperated from the nearest major russian military base by all of siberia.

[@chargerguy1973]

When Florida Man says to not fuck with something, you do - and I can't stress this enough - NOT fuck with that something. 😂

[@pirobot668beta]

I attended Public School in the USA, and even with that setback I know that Seward bought Alaska fair and square. Putin is 'taking the piss' on this one...

[@vanithaahrelis8631]

Alaska arms those king crab fishermen with fireworks. And they are still more effective than Russia (those episodes of Deadliest Catch were damn amazing to watch)

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

ooooh trust me, those guys are well armed on those boats. It's not discussed, but yeah, they could mount a surprisingly effective (drunken) boarding action if they needed to (usually because they were drunk) :D

[@twwtjohns]

I'm not kidding, I'm always impressed when I see an Alaskan license plate in South Florida.

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

As an Alaskan, I love this :D I would also like to remind Russia that the last time they tried this the trees started speaking Tlingit and the English of all people had to come save their arses 😆

[@user-qj1op1nc5s]

Bad mustache man is actually wild

[@thetman0068]

The algorithm doesn’t like it when people say his name, so creators have to improvise with innuendo.

[@flightmaster529]

But he was right tho

[@jacplac97]

There were two of them, actually

[@jekkfractal5164]

the one who killed more people had the better stash@@jacplac97

[@SockieTheSockPuppet]

​@thetman0068 I personally call him Evil Uncle 'Dolphie. Partly because fun fact, his own nephew hated him, to the point where he had to flee Germany, went to America, and joined the army.