What Betrayed Partners Should Understand About Sex Addiction & How to Treat It - Michelle Mays

[@kimgreerpuchek1140]

My former husband and I both listened to this WORKSHOP together when it was offered in early May a couple years ago. It is packed with an incredible amount of information. I’ve become a better person through this crazy addiction journey. I’m learning so much more about myself. I never thought I would be getting this type of education in my retirement years. I’ve certainly had my eyes opened to how I functioned in the world before his SA came out into the light. I continue to work on myself. I may be enough just as I am right now. It also means that I can be a better person each and every day going forward. Keep going forward no matter how hard it may seem at times. It is well worth finding out that you are a valuable person who deserves a better life.

[@savedone6902]

Awesome job Ms Kim... love your testimony of your comment... You can feel your liberation...God bless you on your journey

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Thanks so much for your comment!

[@dawnjones2831]

I'm 64. Why, in all the years of reading and listening to KZbins am I only hearing this clearly spoken now?? Thank you, Michelle, so much!!!

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

I am so glad this video was helpful for you. Thanks for your comment!

[@shannonmarie294]

If I ever date another man who make’s joke’s about watching porn it will be an enormous red flag for me and I will run in the other direction!!! The man I was with for the past year and a half was this way and I was too naive to realize what it really was!.. All he ever joked about was “sex sex sex”!! It was just so annoying and appalling!… He honestly does have a sex addiction problem!….

[@kristineellithorpe6908]

I wish this was available when we first started our journey in the discovery of his Sex Addiction, so for anyone new watching this, this is Incredible information and so right on!

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Thank you for your comment!

[@evandegenfelder4554]

As far as pornography use is concerned to me it IS infidelity just as an actual affair. I am speaking about a 30 year PMO habit, so I am speaking from experience. So, not an affair with one woman, or even two or three, but sex with THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of other women. It is soul crushingly painful.

[@jessd956]

Yes, it is. 😔

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Absolutely. Thank you for your comment. Please reach out if you need more support!

[@saltydog53]

What if your wife is no longer interested in sex with me?

[@margaretchaney5627]

Knowing the SA husband has had a harem & they are not King Solomon is definitely a desire killer. Sex doesn't mean love anymore, and just who are you thinking about when you have sex with us. There is nothing appealing about having sex with a man who can only feel alive while using you.

[@asafselevanay1330]

My partner was hypersexual, saw her through facetime watching porn and a year later caught her in her job parking lot cheating with her ex getting out of his car. When I confronted her, she did not say a word ice cold. So, reality hit me hard realized she is sex addict, when there is little bit of conflict she runs away and meets her ex to make feel good sexually. Of course, I got traumatized by her betrayal. Later find out through my therapist I was dating fearful avoidant women.

[@JL-GmA5]

If the betrayer is an alcoholic, was an affair likely connected to a co-occurring sex addiction?

[@darlawesthoff9123]

Help! 35 years of this. My husband doesn't want to stop. He is a professional gaslighted and flat out liar. I have had hope but it's gone.

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

What kind of support are you receiving? Please visit my website for resources: michellemays.com/braving-hope

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/hope/

[@marcela1082]

What about men who spend 2 hours per day looking at extremely suggestive women videos on social media? Is that sex addiction? I found out my husband was doing this for a year

[@fishstickbio594]

Your intuition is always right …..especially when he lies to you that he is too tired or to have sex with you consistently usually they have sex over the phone or any social media app that has a video call button ….plus porn too…..

[@rizwanawarasally9517]

Not at all. It could lead to porn addiction and that can lead to sex addiction.

[@keldub7123]

Porn addiction is considered sex addiction, any ongoing sexualised behaviour that is kept secret from your partner can be indicative of this....

[@jackijohnson3778]

I feel it's still part of the sex addiction. My husband still hid it from me and told me ge wasn't using porn but he was still using these women for his pleasure.

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

Yes

[@MonicaYearwoodResilientForLife]

What about someone who has a kink and doesn’t understand or feels shame around it and it manifests this way. Is it unreasonable to expect this person will conform to social values that will lead to more pain in the end?

[@luciaquesada-lobo4634]

I really needed this education.❤

[@pink3316]

Very well explained. Thank you 🙏🏾

[@maryackerman5499]

Ia the Foundations for Recovery webinar still available?

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Yes! You can find it here: michellemays.com/workshops

[@janetharrison6994]

Hubby in 70s started looking n going on dating apps . Detached himself completly from me so lqst 5 yrs ive become celibate. Holiday he got escoyrt cone to hotel n lay topless paid for her room . Sneak off n leave me alone . Pk fights so can go off lap dancing club . Entertain 3 women on holiday sat opp in bar . Home i caught him with neighbour n both denied iit . Neighbour leaves blonfs open n his up n down stairs to wave n txt talk to each other . His caufht stds n been beaten up by their husbands . ??? And tells me i imagine it im delusional. N threatening me .

[@rizwanawarasally9517]

Thank you so much for this video. I have so much clarity now❤

[@GMac-q5b]

So what should recovery for a sex addict look like five years after D-day?

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Great question. I would recommend checking out this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp_EeZWvgrmSpsU

[@scrapperrn]

My husband only told me he had been unfaithful, that is it! When I asked questions, he said he didn't remember. . How far back did this occur? Again I don't know. I didn't want to give you any more information and hurt you further. That is it. I suspect some porn issues and it sexual addiction. I have but been able to heal, I am now living in another state, we divorced in Feb 2021. I filed. I cannot get him to talk to me, answer texts, etc. so am not sure what I need to do for my healing. Please advise!

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Thanks for your comment! I would recommend scheduling a free clarity call with my team. They will spend 45 minutes exploring your situation and helping you to create an action plan! michellemays.com/hope

[@mimihoward4459]

I found this Jan 6, 24 please share next workshop

[@jessd956]

Yes I’d also like to know…

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

You can find all available workshops here: michellemays.com/workshops

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Hi Jess you can find available workshops here: michellemays.com/workshops

[@karinabarajas8813]

Thank you so much for this! Wish I could of heard that worship

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

You can find this workshop on my website at michellemays.com/workshops

[@CharlesBaxter-s7g]

If you Lose your Intimacy with your Partner or Wife a Person can be Vulnerable to an Affair 🎉or Sexo Addiction with another Individual

[@suzannechansky1540]

Does this apply to food addiction?

[@DarronSanderson]

My bipolar disorder leads me to hypersexuality. I have compulsive pornography use and eventual strip clubs ro full flege prostitution. I told mycwufe I paid fir a habd job at an asian massage parlor and she was discouraged but stayed with me. I can't count how many times I have had sex with women since we have been married 14 years. We are both Mormon. The day I confess to my bishop I will be excommunicated no doubt. Thanks for this great video.

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Thanks for your comment. You may be interested in the Foundations for Recovery Men's Group: michellemays.com/programs/mens-foundations-group/

[@DarronSanderson]

@@MichelleMaysChannel how much

[@JL-GmA5]

Will treatment for alcoholism also address sex addiction?

[@kimgreerpuchek1140]

No. It’s not going to address the alcohol problem. Sex addiction is a different beast. I believe it’s called it’s comorbid addiction when there are more than one addiction taking place. This was a boundary for the return of my SA husband after his return from 3 weeks inpatient treatment at SEEKING INTEGRITY. No tobacco, alcohol or recreational drug use were allowed. He was hiding his alcohol use. This is what my consequence was for this violation was to leave the property. It took law enforcement to accomplish this consequence. He filed for divorce a few months later. I gave him a.0006% chance of using his tools from the inpatient program for him to use. Instead, I was stalked and harassed by him. There was physical damage to the property. Even though COLO is a no fault state, my attorney did a great job of protecting my assets. I own the property now. My ex husband was not pleased about the outcome of the divorce. That’s why I hired an attorney who is well versed in divorce law. My attorney kept his word and had minimal extra charges for me to pay. He kept me on task so that he could get his work done and I wasn’t going to be dealing with a long drawn out divorce process. My stress levels have gone down since finalizing the divorce and finishing up with the majority of the legal paperwork. Good luck to you. This isn’t where anyone of us wanted to be when we said our wedding vows. May you find your own peace and happiness in this journey. Michelle Mays has been a very positive light for me while growing in my own personal power.

[@jessd956]

I am not trained but my guess would be without treating the root causes, treating one addiction only might make the other one worse.

[@94ftoflogic_idr14]

What if it’s chronic cheating throughout their past relationships and now?

[@julievalenta3944]

I completely understand that question..

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

Why would you even be with someone like that?

[@94ftoflogic_idr14]

@@nataliaalfonso2662 people’s representatives are strong, cheating is deception and humans deceive others as well as themselves. Live and learn cheating doesn’t always follow the tale tell signs

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Thanks for your comment. This person may be dealing with sex addiction. You can learn more at michellemays.com

[@lyndseymoye12]

But he keeps going into the same issues…..over and over. An addiction to porn and cheating. Needing to constantly be stimulated by sex…..

[@lesleyinglis1154]

It's how he gets his dopamine fix. His brain is in an 'automatic' feed back loop and this is one of the reasons it is so hard to break, like any compulsive behaviour. Must be very hard for you.

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Thanks for your comment. It does not sound like this person is in recovery. There are more resources for assessing and treating sex addiction at relationalrecovery.com

[@bethshaw6757]

First start by understaning Narcissism.

[@Wordsarejustwords]

Not connected at all tho many narc are Addicts period

[@vanessarenae5169]

I could never know hlthe extent that His behavior was. He hid everything. So, just have to go off of his word I guess.

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Have you considered a therapeutic disclosure? Here's a good video to check out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mHa9dYiNh7WSfsk

[@vanessarenae5169]

@@MichelleMaysChannel he wrote a disclosure last year. But I still don't think he told me everything

[@becky3882]

What is group therapy?

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Hi there, here is one of the groups we have available for men: michellemays.com/programs/mens-foundations-group/

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

And for betrayed partners, check out Braving Hope! michellemays.com/braving-hope

[@s0uthernEyez]

You might be able to help us

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Thanks for your comment. Please reach out if you need more support! michellemays.com

[@luciaquesada-lobo4634]

So, poor people have no chances?

[@GMac-q5b]

So what should recovery for a sex addict look like five years after D-day?

[@MichelleMaysChannel]

Great question! This video may be helpful to watch: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp_EeZWvgrmSpsU