What does a BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER Episode look like?

This is what Borderline Personality Disorder looks like, it's cruel, and terrifying, but it is who I am.
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Borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD), Is a mental illness characterised by a long-term pattern of unstable relationships, distorted sense of self, and strong emotional reactions. Those affected often engage in self-harm and other dangerous behaviour. They may also struggle with a feeling of emptiness, fear of abandonment, and detachment from reality. Symptoms of BPD may be triggered by events considered normal to others. The behaviour in BPD typically begins by early adulthood and occurs across a variety of situations. Substance abuse, depression, and eating disorders are commonly associated with BPD. Approximately 10% of people affected with the disorder die by suicide. The disorder is often stigmatised in both the media and the psychiatric field.
A Brief introduction to who I am, So hopefully, in turn, you can be yourself.
There is power in vulnerability.
Talk to your friends,
Always be kind.
Take chances on doing what you love.
Aspire to be the person you have always wanted to be.
Love,
Reece

[@sammi9919]

Your first words “I dont know what im doing, but im trying to do something” ...words I say every hour everyday it hits deep

[@belle3055]

Yeah heheh

[@Angismit]

I always say just get through today

[@Quido89]

Theat first line : “I dont know what im doing, but im trying to do something” ...hearing that from somebody confirmed having bpd ...it strucked me so hard like it caught my attention and shoked me and hit me in hearth at a same time. I am asking myself that one question so many times as an affirmation of me knowing and realy trying to realize where I am, what is happening, why and who the hell am I at the actual time and space... Ooooh gosh it is so much I am loosing it - or the contrary...I have already lost it, almost every structure making solid ME in my mind crumbles and I feel lost, empty to be honest dont feel anything besides grotesque misery and nonsensical pointlessness or meaninglessness... those are the times I am asking myself . What am I doing? who am I wha is going on... Following Jordan B. Peterson's self authoring rules and "phylosophy", "forced positivity" and running on a hard working sage mode helped for about 2 years but now I am on my lowest low. Crumbelled, scattered all over and all mine projected Selves are lying all over my house and yard in the pieces of art, works and projects exactly where I left them unfinished. I am lost now and ppl telling me to see me and being here to help...their voices are just pieces of sparks reverberating in the dark halls in the cave of empty shell of me where my true I lies deep down burried beneath flood of bloody mud forming concrete like eggshel arround that small sobbing crying shaky fetus which that I happens to be.

[@cursorygame]

Those words became one of my biggest weapons in my Arsenal.

[@staceyhutton5995]

Yes 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[@maxissad5823]

its so draining to feel like a burden all the time.

[@HeyItsJDanni]

It makes me suicidal to feel like a burden. All I see is death

[@zonk35]

@@HeyItsJDanni I love you. you’re not a burden, you are incomparable and invaluable.

[@HeyItsJDanni]

@@zonk35 thank you. Keep spreading love.

[@2degucitas]

So much easier to just stay home alone.

[@HeyItsJDanni]

@@2degucitas right

[@melaniethetruckdriver]

I was in a long term on/off relationship with someone who was later diagnosed with BPD, I adored everything about him yet was still pushed and pushed away when things "got too good". Too much happened for us to stay together in the end, but I want anyone with BPD to know that you are wonderful and deserving of love just the way you are 💕

[@user-cv5rb5cj1y]

This made me cry.. thank you so so so much for this

[@enjoylifesmagic]

I'm with you on this. It's so hard to love someone with mental illness, not because we don't love them but because they can't accept the love. So hard. You are all worthy. We are all worthy. Accept love. And love yourself. Okay? Okay. ❤

[@melaniethetruckdriver]

@@user-cv5rb5cj1y ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@abinyxx]

Thank you. Thank you.

[@vietluu2012]

We know, that you care Melanie, because you are here watching this video with us 💜

[@soundbender777]

BPD is the most painfully isolating condition to experience. I have never felt truly understood ever in this life. Thank you for being here and creating this collective pool of experience for us.

[@robneerf]

try bit of bdp with dysthymia..

[@androgynylunacy]

Did you ever try DBT? I feel like I'm messed up still, but as soon as I was in a group of people with BPD it was nice to know that other people experienced what I do. But I also have extreme social withdraw or autism so I wasn't able to make or keep friends outside of the group meetings

[@BuffHobbit]

We live in a society where everyone tries to look and be perfect. If everyone just showed their struggle underneath like you, then maybe we wouldn't feel so lonely.

[@kellymcphaul2793]

Well said.

[@SweetyShanice996]

Agreed

[@marijadzakovic3382]

Ahh, if only i would be able to do that.

[@isabellrc]

So well stated. How tiresome trying to be what is ‘normal’...; living expectations that most can’t achieve anyway.

[@AdelePeters-nr6pb]

Absolutely! Well said! Thank you.

[@artprincess2000]

“i feel a lot of shame about who i am as a person because i don’t know who i am” i cried with you through this video and that sentence hit me hard. we don’t give ourselves enough credit for all of the hurt we go through on a daily basis with this disorder. thank you for being so open❤️

[@chadnichols5215]

I feel the same way.

[@artprincess2000]

@@chadnichols5215 we are not alone!!!!

[@Jay-xx5pg]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙌🏻🧢💙💅🏻🕉👘🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🥲🥲🥲💙💙💙💙💙💙🚨❤️💸📚💙💙💙💙💙💙❤️✍🏼🌴💋🤍👁☕️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️❤️❤️❤️❤️🕉

[@edyilky6778]

Your good and your real. I'm struggling daily myself i refuse meds. I obsess in bodybuilding and MMA to defend myself. This world is going to end soon anyhow 🎉🎉🎉🎉 enjoy the light show and we will be dust soon🎉🎉🎉

[@ReeceHendyy]

Hey everyone. I see a lot of wonderful comments on people sharing how they feel. This is fantastic. Treat this as a space to speak how you truely feel. Your feelings are your birthright! Much love, Reece

[@brewgamingworlds8419]

Just found out last month I have: asd, bpd, and ptsd. Thank you for making this video, it will make it easier to share with people who don't understand.

[@heathledger6396]

if you were gay id take you on a date

[@clairecox1025]

You are amazing, don’t ever doubt that. This video opened my eyes big time. Thankyou x

[@brewgamingworlds8419]

Reece do you have a discord? If not i was going to set up for mental health and online support for people with disability, mental issues, undiagnosed issues, or anyone struggling to make friends.

[@ShaggzVB]

@@brewgamingworlds8419 is anyone welcome and is it available on mobile?

[@IsaLevens]

I thought “damn he words this really well and poetic almost” right before you said you don’t have a big vocabulary. You’re your own worst critic my dude. The moment I tried treating myself the way I would treat a friend, i started feeling so much better about myself and everything around me.

[@SassyL62]

EXACTLY. Was thinking damn it kills me how sad he’s making himself

[@SassyL62]

I want him to see this thiiiis is the solution. Start being your own cheerleader

[@dawnl.831]

It doesn't really work that way for people with severe BPD. Its not that easy, at all.

[@IsaLevens]

@@dawnl.831 I’m not saying it’s easy at all, takes a lotta work to implement that way of thinking. But it works for me.

[@josereyes7465]

I have BPD and it fucking sucks sometimes bc i can't control how i react to certain emotions and i push people away, is like this thing takes over me and i can just watch from above and when i stop It is too late. Damage done.

[@crystaldeathflower]

same with me. i react first and then i realize that i did something wrong. i dont know how to control myself :/

[@davidsheriff9274]

Yes, borderline personality disorder is a life stealer and a dream stealer. I have spent my life isolating myself and pushing away every person that has ever tried to get close to me, and now I am completely alone in the world. Some days the loneliness is so unbearable that having a two minute conversation about the weather with a stranger in my building is the high point of me day. I feel so empty and depressed all the time I don't know what to do. I am on antidepressants, and have done therapy for many years and nothing works. I am holding on to this fantasy that I will change and things might get better but I know it's bullshit. How long can I person go without any love or human contact before they completely loose touch with reality and have to be institutionalized. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new.

[@sinceresong9907]

@@davidsheriff9274 Sorry mate. That sounds awful... There must be a root cause and healing that as much as possible must help..maybe try another therapist..CBT is meant to work well with personality disorders . You understand yourself thats a great start..don't lose hope. Many people feel lone, even those without a mental health condition. Society doesnt make forming meaningful relationships easy.

[@sinceresong9907]

@@missbcritiques9209 I know when your down exercise feels like the last thing to do...motivate yourself in to. But it really helps in lifting mood. Walking running...fresh air... dance. You are precious especially to your son. Definitely talk to your doctor ,a good friend or a counsellor if your feeling suicidal...dont suffer in silence..reach out to those that can help. I wish you better days to come .

[@sarahr2108]

Being in love with someone who has BPD is incredibly hard. It’s hard having to remember every little thing, yet when she’s detached she remembers nothing at all. I feel like the more I love her the more suffocated yet so alone she feels. Medicine has made her numb. The drug abuse, the constant cheating, the ability to lie to me so effortlessly is at times unbearable. But hearing you speak the words felt like you were speaking from her to me. I’ve had to strengthen up so that I can catch her before she falls, but without enabling her. My sympathy goes out to anyone struggling with BPD as well as their loved ones.

[@brewgamingworlds8419]

Im bpd and I eventually felt so guilty how i treated my ex for 5.5 years I dumped them. Before then I asked everyday when we were going go break up. I never had a better friend, better partner and better lover than her and I pushed them away. I finally got therapy, officially diagnosed, got the right meds and can see how shitty of a person I have been my entire life. In my case too many bridges were burnt to start again. If they won't work with you, or go to a therapist you have no ability to know for sure when the next time they will self destruct. I know, i lived it my entire life until recently.

[@brewgamingworlds8419]

Also if they are codependent as i was because I didn't know what that meant then its never going to change.

[@LionessExplores]

I dated and loved someone with BPD for 6 years, it totally destroyed me and left me homeless and broken. I understand BPD is a never ending terrible struggle for them, but when they split and turn against you, the lies they say are dangerous (of course all are not like this but mine was). She lied to the world and said I abused her, even though I never laid a finger on her, even after she physically, mentally and emotionally abused me for the entire 6yrs. I still have no closure and I find it so hard to move on and have normal relationships now. I just wish there was effective long term care/support from the medical system for people with BPD so they do not continue to hurt us but most importantly, so they can recover and be happy. Even though she recked my life, I wish her well and hope she finds peace. I do not hold hate for her, but I'd never rekindle any sort of relationship with her for my own sanity and safety.

[@MJ_247]

I’m so sorry you have been treated this way, and as someone with BPD I just want to say it’s never a reason to cheat and you truly deserve to be treated better. Also, if she’s not willing to get any kind of help then nothing will change sadly. I wish you the best.

[@LionessExplores]

@@brendareed5050Thank you, hopefully with time I can move on. From my understanding of going to therapy with her, splitting is when they either see you as good or bad. When she saw me as only bad, I was the devil in her eyes and she felt no way about spreading lies about me and leaving me homeless.

[@victoriamarie_91]

I have bpd and my boyfriend recently broke up with me because he said I had too many issues and was to blame for all our issues. I have so many good people in my life, but it can feel so lonely as no one fully gets it. Being abandoned for the one thing you were scared of being vulnerable about is one of the most painful things to experience and I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover from the emotional abuse of that relationship but I’m glad I’m out of it.

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new.

[@ReeceHendyy]

You will find someone who fully accepts you for who you are at some point. Keep moving forward z

[@skylarsaysstuff]

@@aboundinggrace7029 stop putting religious shit when people are trying to get real people support

[@luciemcgorum4935]

Hey vic I'm so sorry to hear about your relationship breaking down. I can empathise with you because i have bpd too and my boyfriend doesn't really understand either and I've got an awful feeling he may leave me for the same reasons. Just know you are not on your own and the right man will come along and accept you for who you are. Have faith lovely lady. You've got this shit. Xxx

[@ESE33]

I had the exact same experience with my own mental illness. They made me feel like it was all my fault, and thinking about it now I just feel angry that they said that. Like, what gives you the right?

[@naomibee8881]

I have bpd, 49 yrs old, completely COMPLETELY alone from hiding myself a lifetime. Your videos make me feel less alone. Thank you Reese ❤️🖤

[@earthsign99]

51 here, and finally coming to terms with it… 😉

[@theharringtons2010]

Me too - I am 56.....knowledge is power and its never too late to start the healing journey

[@ps7850]

43 and feel the same

[@Chez8922-kf6cy]

54 and no relationships for ten years. I never leave the house anymore except for necessities since covid.

[@jelenaninic9297]

​@@Chez8922-kf6cyleave the house. I have Bpd and I am never at home because I dont have it. And I live Life Like a bohem. And I found myself in that! And I have a friend who have autism. And we understand each other, but we have nothing incomon. That is the curse of mental ilness. And I dont have anyone other to suport me mentaly. So if you want, I can ne your friend. I am here if you want. I can understand you. Lot of love from Jelena

[@LightHouse96]

Everyone here should become friends. So we’re less alone feeling.

[@Moodboard39]

nah, cant trust anyone.

[@LightHouse96]

@@Moodboard39 ☮️While I advocated, I understand this. To this, I would say at your pace. Not all eggs have to be in the basket.

[@MJ_247]

I have BPD and it makes me TERRIFIED to have children and pass it along. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

[@anaterrapeacock8714]

I think exactly the same ❤️

[@ljo0605]

I think it's a mixture of genes and environment. Childhood trauma is def a big factor for a lot of people with BPD. Being emotionally neglected by parents who didn't have their own emotional needs met either. Break the generational pattern.

[@MJ_247]

@@ljo0605 Yup, trauma and neglect is what caused my bpd. Definitely going to break the pattern.

[@stardust942]

Same

[@zoevideoscrapbook]

I have quiet bpd. Thank you for making this ♥️ I wish for you a good recovery and for you to some day fully love yourself.

[@alwayslearningthankyou2708]

Look up work of Dr. Andrew Huberman, Stanford Neuroscientist on lateral eye movement to control your brain.

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you

[@Zero-cw4qj]

May I ask how you got diagnosed? I’ve been noticing that I experience quite a few of quiet bpd symptoms but don’t know where to start

[@borntobelucky02]

Me too, it sucks.

[@noraaa8479]

What’s the difference between quiet BPD and the normal BPD?

[@missbetzy76]

I’m 44, have quiet bpd. I hide. I have to. Thank you for posting this.

[@KimiRhavenrose]

I just had an episode last night, i was so hurtful to my s/o , and i didn't mean to be. The guilt and shame is unbearable, to the point where I thought to end it. But your video helpd me feel less alone. Thank you.

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new.

[@kerryhorrocks4453]

Glad you stayed strong love I’ve felt like that and been in hospital it’s not good some of the same meds you would use for adhd ease it a bit as I have serious reactions to some meds stay strong love you and your family are worth it 💕

[@chocohep]

Sending good vibes your way❤️ keep going, I’m rooting for you💪🏾

[@jimjiminyjaroo300]

My ex had it. She destroyed me. I can’t have relationships anymore because of her.

[@erxfav3197]

@@jimjiminyjaroo300 has what man? And that’s nonsense.. u just need to heal my brotha.. Go check out “Personal development school”.. Learn and apply.. Find out what your attachment style is and write back here please

[@maykruvi]

I am having such a horrible day, and this popped up in my recommendations, and I'm so thankful it did. I am yet to be diagnosed, but I feel very strongly that I have BPD as I answer all the criteria. Watching this I was crying with you, I could feel everything you said, your pain, your hope. I too feel alone. I too have amazing people in my life who do nothing but support me, and yet I feel as if I'm the last person on earth. I feel as if I'm such a burden to everyone, being so unexpected emotionally, being easily triggered by the tiniest of things, its such an exhausting war that seems to never end. I had thoughts about self harming myself earlier today, I haven't done it yet, but its terrifying because I've been able to "hold off" from doing that for about a year now. I don't know why I'm here sharing this, but I really appreciate that you've put yourself out there for others to see. By doing so you are actively helping to normalize vulnerability and mental illnesses. You've made me feel better, thank you and I wish you only the best in your journey, big hug.

[@ChasingYashiro]

Me too, I broke down hard today about all my held in guilt and shame. I couldn’t stop crying and panicking, I’m still right on the edge. I felt everything he said so deep and I couldn’t stop sobbing.

[@jubeesays716]

Thank you both sharing your struggles and braveness. Just a random internet person wanting to send good vibes to you and remind you that you have value 💕

[@kushiekel3630]

I feel the same as you do, undiagnosed but certain I am borderline due to meeting all 9 criteria. I'm still sobbing... You're all worthy of love and a good life

[@Jay-xx5pg]

What* (i am sensing.)

[@Jay-xx5pg]

Donked not dr srry I was on my voice to text thing because I can't hold my phone easily. I'm really sorry I keep having written Errors

[@zippey1032]

I support you. There is absolutely nothing “wrong” with you. You are not stupid. You are incredibly brave for being vulnerable like this. You aren’t alone❤️

[@lionofjudahlambofgod9132]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rV7Gf2eiZbKhbM0

[@Crystalquartz964]

I support you too. Please know you are accepted as you are, I have this too.

[@dianeboudrias5231]

I was diagnosed with BPD by a psychologist and a psychiatrist about a year or less. I feel deeply sad and lonely to the point that I have suicidal thoughts often enough. I understand what your going through. I wish you well in every way! Hugs

[@ramblingruthie7602]

Prayers for you. I hope you are doing well 💗.

[@Lisa-sn3cu]

❤️

[@ChristianLoubutin]

I also have bpd and I feel everything you say. I feel so fucking lonely time to time and it’s horrible but things get better I’ve been going to DBT therapy and if you haven’t I really recommend it. I also have to say that I think you are brave! Don’t hide, there are people that can relate and really understand and you have NOTHING to be ashamed of I promise you this is brave and we are just humans like everyone else! We can get better with help BPD isn’t a life sentence. Hugs from Sweden

[@ReeceHendyy]

100% - Shout it from the rooftops! BPD ISNT A LIFE SENTENCE!!

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, He makes all things new. Don't give up.

[@formosus2995]

This is heartbreaking. My girlfriend recently got this diagnosis and I am trying to be there for her. Make her feel loved and understood. It's hard but she's so sweet, and so loving, and she's worth a lot. You guys are more than BPD. You are great, you are loving and valuable. You are not a bad people. You are worth the effort just like anyone else is. Hope you guys find help, and love and people that can try at least to understand your battle.

[@sf7027]

wow thank you for your kind words. Made me tear up, hearing we are worth the effort, really, it means a lot to me.

[@icazocaoo7]

❤

[@bunnybnuy]

Reading this was so comforting I just genuinely broke down again and started sobbing. Sometimes when I get hit with an episode and I just feel so painfully low, the most gut wrenching feelings of despair that shake me to my core and cause my body to shake with pain and I just want to give up and not exist anymore. I feel so horrible for this and I have such a deep rooted self hatred for myself and I often feel so incredibly unloveable, but seeing this video and then reading this comment genuinely makes me feel like there really is hope. I just have to keep pushing because with these really intense lows comes these really intense highs that are filled with the most amazing feelings and maybe not knowing who I am sometimes is more of an opportunity to learn new things so that I can have more creative outlets for when I have these down moments. I know this comment was a year ago, but I just want to say I hope you are well and thank you for giving someone who is struggling with BPD a chance. I send you and your loved ones so much love and peace. Big hugs to all idk why I’m typing so much I’m just genuinely so down right now and the combination of this video and comment really has helped me feel something of hope rather than that tummy churning despair. Thank you for existing

[@teenamillar7013]

Terrific do your best 😊

[@mjones9569]

You are so brave. Most people wether they have a mental illness or not would never let complete strangers see who they really are. God bless you!

[@epicmonkey6663]

Usually videos with this much honestly generally get me an open up and then I just feel embarrassed and frightened after as to what people think but I’ve noticed there is some kind of value in venting sometimes it if you have nobody comment sections are either the best or worst place

[@danahowell44]

Sometimes I just play his video whilst I sleep because sleeping through my BPD episode isnt easy but when I feel like there is someone else in the room going through the same thing, makes my sleep so peaceful. Thank you I know this wasn’t easy xx

[@jenni_panda]

This takes bravery... The amount of strength it takes to reveal the most vulnerable parts of ourselves is unfanthomable. I don't have BPD but I PTSD. I struggle with intense, hijacking emotions and almost complete dysfunction in life. I experience the same kind of alienation, shame and guilt living like this like anyone with a mental health illness. I feel the loneliness surrounding our struggles is ultimately what's more painful. We can all learn to manage with the right help, but most of us can't do it alone... This level of honesty and authenticity is so helpful, because they help end the stigma. Wasting years of faking normality is the most toxic, devastating shit ever. And we take alot of blame for being who we are for that reason. My heart goes out of you all. It's a lie that you're alone. I hope you'll never stop looking for the consolidation and self-love we all deserve. But it starts with one thing; becoming real.

[@SweetKristen]

I am bipolar and also have BPD. Thank you for making this - it truly did help me feel less alone in this very scary disorder.

[@evi1corp4]

wait, out of curiosity how does that work? how can you have months long depressive episodes AND very fast mood swings that last like 8-48 hours?

[@evi1corp4]

@@ryllis4293 that wouldnt be bpd at all, and they didn’t explain it so im going to assume theyre full of shit

[@ryllis4293]

@@evi1corp4 I wouldn`t go assuming but yeah you`re right I`m making no sense

[@sorryoutlandish]

This might be very long to read but I wanted to get this out. I’ve battled a quiet battle with BPD for 6 long years now. It always felt so ridiculous to me because I had everything going for me in life. I had a great loving family beginning in my junior year, I had always academically excelled, even graduated at the top of my class in HS and got accepted into UCI, I had always been told how absolutely gorgeous I was by family, friends, romantic interests, even by some complete strangers. I remember trying to come out about my struggles and they just did not understand why I felt such a way, and it made me feel like I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do, making myself shut away everything in an attempt to appear “okay” and “normal.” This caused very explosive outbursts with people I was close with in my life, people I was romantically interested in as I began to “trust” them so to speak, because I had tried to shut everything in for so long. I became incredibly mean, I said things I shouldn’t have said, done things I shouldn’t have said, things that hurt them sometimes to incredible degrees, being called “crazy”, “obsessive”, “psychotic” and other stigmatizing terms and being met with the reality of my worst fear: abandonment. I didn’t want to push anyone away but in me shutting away my symptoms, I ended up pushing everyone away, essentially validating my worst fears. Recently, I had someone that I fell over heels with but what returned was my fears of abandonment and my long-boarded away aggression. Yet, he still stayed by my side. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had something stable and I felt like I finally had a support. I wanted to heal, and I was given a bit of hope with someone being there for me. In November, I did something incredibly reckless in my opinion by having unprotected sex on my ovulation day. I ended up feeling incredibly sick a few weeks later and after 4 tests, I found I was pregnant at only 18. Though I would consider myself republican and relatively pro-life at that time, I had to take my own mental health into consideration and choose an abortion, with the agreement of the father. Afterwards, I was an absolute mess, it was the worst my BPD had ever been. I was down constantly, aggressive, isolated, and had even begun feeling suicidal again. I had just felt completely humiliated and ashamed. And only 2 weeks after my follow-up, he had left after telling me how much he loved and cared for me. This was only a few days ago, being completely blocked out and left alone to fend for myself. I was destroyed emotionally, and still am even as I’m writing this, but through having an honest talk with my stepdad, I begin to realize I need to place more value in myself. I need to love myself more, accept myself more. And I know it’s harder said than done but I’ve taken baby steps towards that goal. I begun working out again, controlling my diet in a healthy manner, I began drawing more, I even took a hike this morning. I’ve finally begun my path of healing, not afraid to talk about my experiences now and even with these small baby steps down a long path of recovery, I feel like I’m a bit happier now and I’m truly looking forward to the next day

[@Ac1dB3a5t]

Almost the same story and it happened quite recently. I think ppl eith bpd have a massive dear of abdonment and after my ex left me 4 months ago i was destroyed and tbf i still am. I did things i regret but you feel emotions so strongly and the issue with that is the highs are super high and the lows are depression. Basically if you dont get enough of that with reassurance, youre fucked

[@aubreyburke9506]

Thank you so much for sharing this Kenedy I myself am going through a very similar situation and have considered abortion all though it doesn't feel right and I haven't ever considered it before I feel like I need to do it because my mental health and my abusive relationship I just got out of. I'm so lost, scared, anxiety ridden, and torn on really what it is I should do. I have cancelled two appointments for the abortion now and can't decide what to do. 💔😭

[@punayamunjal7475]

hi, how are you doing now?

[@mickeyhorrocks4684]

I have quiet bpd and try to keep my feelings to myself. I don't let people in my world. I've always felt different and never truly loved myself. I can so relate to this and thanks so much for sharing x

[@tysv1896]

I have BPD and it's hard for me when I realize that no one around me understand how I feel. Today I felt really alone but thank you for making this video, finally I see someone who understands me and I feel less alone. Wish you the best forever and always 💖

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new.

[@racconsoup]

i have borderline personality disorder and dyslexia too. i never knew what our episodes looked like till now, id avoid any talk about my episodes, it scares me to think that's a part of me. recently my friend also got diagnosed with bpd as well and we're struggling together now, i feel better knowing there are others. i hope we can heal from everything that hurt us, even ourselves. we arent alone, we are a part of a whole community who understands us. thank you for this

[@benxo]

It's a weird thing the 'fixing' part, the constant search for the stable core, the thing that is so visible and obvious but always just so frustratingly out of reach. I feel a calm sadness as I get older, a 'well, guess this is who I am' - all the chaos, all the endless endless creativity, all the searching for extremes, now settling and fusing better than they ever half before. But still - alone on the mountain top, wild winds, how do I use these skills? If this is who I am to be? If I have pushed myself so confidently out into chaos for the whole of my life and it was because of BPD then? I don't know how old you are but 31 hit me like a ton of a bricks, my conscience stuffed all the crap into a suitcase instead of letting it spill out everywhere anymore - which is a good thing, burnt off all the loose ends, I want a family one day so have no choice but to settle with this, whatever it may be. BPD and me dug a beautiful hole together, full of friends and music and adventure and adrenaline and art but I dunno, would I have wanted things to he different had I have known before? I have stability now, the cats are in the bag, but it's a stability lined with sadness. for the time being. I found it in meditation, god and medication, behind the storms I have found a light that does not waver when I look upon it, does not make me feel like I've just had ten coffees and want to immediately throw myself infront of a train. it's there in you too, just be still and breathe and it will show itself. The impulses are just suggestions, thoughts are just suggestions. Hope you're well.

[@ReeceHendyy]

This was a brilliantly worded message jams. Thank you. I hope you can find some comfort in this video. Follow your heart, do what makes you happy. Never settle for less than happiness

[@FirstLast-dy4gt]

Loved reading that!

[@jb5880]

When I hit rock bottom a phrase that stayed with me was, “feelings are not facts.” It helped me to recalibrate and shift perspectives. That, and repeating It’s Ok. I’m Ok. Everything is Ok. were daily mantras. Thank you for creating a safe space and community our kind of thinkers.

[@TTX420]

“feelings are your birth right” thank you for that ♥️ a quote I’ll never forget

[@TracyMick]

I was diagnosed with bpd 4 years ago and just now am learning the key to recovery is loving myself, whoever I may be. you’re on the right track, thank you for sharing. God is Love 💗

[@camilaxcastillo]

It’s absurd how people will always say to you how “ you are a warrior, survivor , indestructible , brave “ because they see all the difficulties we go through and continue .. on and on . I relate so much to everything , I decided to just be by myself because it is easier , and as someone that is creative , I can pull that off , but it is an incredible struggle when YOU ARE YOUR WORST ENEMY . I’m trying to learn to be compassionate with myself . Try to treat yourself with the same empathy you would have for a loved one . Thanks for sharing . 🙏🏼

[@almaquejada6893]

This hit hard... being surrounded by supportive people, but still feeling alone

[@makaylan5025]

you know those days where someone looks at you and you just want to cry? i've been feeling so hollow today. i reeeallllyyy felt that first sigh thank you for being vulnerable and open to sharing your feelings with the world. if making people feel better was the goal it definitely worked

[@SSEL_RAEF]

When I have an episode I legit just panic and cry and repeat “ I don’t know what to do”

[@RoryStockton]

I have schizoaffective disorder, and your behaviour is so alike when I'm going through an episode. When you said "just do it, yno" your tongue made an appearance, it's a symbol of how heavy your thoughts become in the midst of an episode, one thing I've learnt on how to combat episodes is to just meditate, don't follow the episode, follow your dream, meditate and become aware that you're just going through it, instead of it taking control and making you feel it will last forever. Reduce the weight of your thoughts, don't react to it, turn the other wayy. You're strong for where you're at, I've been in that seat and I've felt it too. A late comment, I'm sure you're finding it a little easier now with new perspectives, keep it real bro I love you

[@lalamercy683]

Good advice

[@RoryStockton]

@@lalamercy683 thank you kind lady, I hope you are doing well in these uneasy times

[@obludas]

Thank you for the tip :-)

[@giovannyguzman7988]

As someone with bpd, I felt every word in this video so hard that I legit started to cry. Thank you for this. God bless

[@zoevideoscrapbook]

"your feelings are your birth right" ♥️ I feel that. Alot of the time I feel like I can't trust anyone as they are out to humiliate me so my voice goes unwaverered and I portray this vanilla false personality 😔

[@luzmateo536]

i have been diagnosed with bpd in december, and all my life finally make sense. I'm recovering from another attempt to commit suicide, last one was around this days, so, it stick in my mind. and I lost two of my best friends because I couldn't control my reactions, sometimes I feel like I'm not even a human. thank u so much por making this, I feel vulnerability so powerful, like art, humanizing people it makes me feel less alone in this messy thing, a hole new view about the world with compassion and empathy. I hope things get better. I'm trying my best. this it's not my first language so I'm sorry if something doesn't understand that much. I promise that you are not what your mind it's telling you, and I hope one day you can see it. I send you love and good energy, u got with this

[@natlara758]

most often people would use the term ¨borderline¨ as an insult, it hurts me even more now that i know that i have quiet BPD

[@ReeceHendyy]

i need to research more into quiet bpd as im not too familiar with it - Stay strong though Nat, you got this!

[@bigtimefans100]

:( That's shitty, this disorder is so fucking stigmatized. We all deserve better. Sending love

[@kbs1212]

I know this is from a couple of years ago, but thank you for your vulnerability. I was diagnosed with this and realized later that I was just on the autism spectrum with ADHD, and was burnt out from years of masking to blend in. It explained so much. Channels and videos like this helped me so much. You're doing amazing work here.

[@Tan9oCharlie]

we are the natural ones brother. nobody feels the feel the way we do.

[@missbcritiques9209]

😊

[@Nixie_536]

💜🙌🏻💕🌸

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new.

[@diamondvictoria6303]

@@aboundinggrace7029 stop bringing religion into everything

[@ForestBeans]

I was diagnosed 2 years ago with BDP. I also have diagnosed anxiety and depression and PTSD. Thank you for making this important video, more people need to know about this disorder.

[@BloodSavedMe]

When you sighed I felt that. You can tell. It's draining and you can't fake it.

[@solm.6184]

@Michael Lane huh?

[@BloodSavedMe]

@@solm.6184 I have BPD I could tell he has it just from the sigh at the begging

[@ElysiaMaerda]

It took 40 yrs for me to finally find out what was 'wrong' with me. I always wondered "What's wrong with me? WHy do I have such trouble actually FEELING happy?" I knew I could feel happy for fleeting moments, but never like how 'normal' people are. Then to be told I have BPD and feel judged by others who compare it so strongly to BiPolar and that the way I act or feel is all for attention. I don't want that kind of attention. I don't even like the limelight. This helps so much to know that I'm not alone, that this is ok to feel like this. It's not the best feeling, it sucks, I hate it, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I know that I am not alone. I'm so grateful to have stumbled across your channel. So much love and hugs sent your way Reece. Keep burning bright, darkness hates the light. Burn bright and strong

[@JustChillVibezz]

I want to hug you so bad!! It's very brave of you to put this online. I also think it's necessary. So thank you for this

[@lionelfox1341]

"Always trying to be someone different because I dont want them to think that Im weird or strange" I can relate to this 100%, i had a very abusive childhood, abused by my hispanic father, did some very disturbing things that were too far in terms of punishment, physical and emotional punishment. Was diagnosed with ADHD too just a few months ago, i hope yall are doing good.

[@telvajenkins2855]

As a fellow sufferer I really just want to send you loads of love and compassion. I never realised how painful life could become, its devastating. You don't come across as stupid at all. Bless your tender heart. Xx

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new.

[@OhJesseee]

This made me cry so hard. I also struggle with bpd & severe depression and have had it since I was a child. I always felt like an outcast and never fit in anywhere. In April of 2020 I tried committing suicide also because I felt like that was the easiest way to let go of all my pain I’ve had bottled up for years upon years, I regret that choice immensely and feel ashamed of it. I’m 24 now and still feel out of whack and completely alone in the world, I struggled with minor drug & alcohol addiction a few years ago. Watching this really made me feel. I don’t know.. even though I have a family & boyfriend who love me dearly, I feel alone. Thank you for sharing this , honestly 😞❤️

[@Wen00.4]

Keep it up babe

[@Millie1994]

Sending my support, I've had Bpd for nearly 10 years now and I'm only just starting to teach myself DBT, but it's made a difference already. I had a bad episode at work last weekend and was fighting the urge to self harm. Took everything but I managed to get through it without cutting, first time I've done that! Hope you'll be able to get the support you need, the NHS are even slower at the moment 😞

[@lostforever773]

You mean you had it since then or got the diagnosis then?

[@halcyonickaiju]

I don’t understand what they mean by an “episode” this is something that people live with 24/7

[@user-mb7cu4js5f]

An episode is when your bpd is triggered intensely and makes you split and do/say terrible things because you have no control

[@Bountiiful]

I just wanted to tell you that as a person who hasn't been formally diagnosed with bpd, I cant really say that I can fully relate but you are a beautiful soul and you are brave. You sat down and made this video for people with bpd to see and to feel loved and not alone. And you are so strong, even if you may not think it. It breaks my heart that you cant be accepted because of something you can't control and with everything you are saying and all of the advice your giving almost sounds like you are trying so desperately to belive your own advice. So I'm just here to say, you are you as you as you may be okay? Human as us all. Mistakes inevitable but one thing for certain is you are not a mistake and you definitely saved some people and made them feel noticed with your emotional vulnerability. Beautiful Video and a beautiful person. Thank you for staying strong and being here today.

[@ReeceHendyy]

I shed a tear reading this. Thank you Maybe. You worded that to perfection.

[@brianpistolwhip]

I find the music is too loud for me to hear you which is really the most important part of this video. Your willingness to share your pain openly is very powerful and commendable.

[@Khan-nw5yr]

I've recently been diagnosed with bpd and I literally cried through this video. I feel your pain. And it gets worse if the people you're surrounded with make you feel like you're being stupid and your feelings don't matter like bpd is not a big deal. I hope you get better. Stay safe and healthy ❤

[@shannilove2801]

Same I cried straight through the video really heart taken

[@SunlessRen]

i was formally diagnosed with borderline in october. Foolishly i thought it would help me get a footing on my mental health. my therapist ghosted me the same week (I still haven't heard back, she doesn't even know I've moved out-of-state lol), and figuring out how to manage my bpd has been something that has seemed so unattainable. i spend day in, day out, pacing inside my own head, footsteps echoing the same conclusions, or lack thereof. its been four months. spending eight minutes here has likely been the only progress that I've made towards improving my mental health. you've helped me more than i can put into words. thank you.

[@icansingstuff13]

As someone with BPD myself, thank you for posting this... it was very courageous. Thank you for trying to humanise those of us with this disorder.

[@jaeortiz5878]

It’s like we’re torturing ourselves without realizing it till we’re out of the episode. I have a couple disorders so that combined with bpd makes my brain feel fried

[@svenvanderzwaag1012]

Everbody came here alone and we'll leave this place alone too. Thats not a bad thing. The earlier we accept this, the easier it becomes. Life holds great promises.

[@kaitlynt2517]

My favorite quotes from this video : “With the lows comes the highs” “I’ve been hiding away the person that I am for a very very long time. Always trying to be someone else so that they wouldn’t think that I’m weird or strange. Because people who are different are intimidating.” “I feel a lot of shame about who I am as a person because I don’t know who I am.” great video friend ❤️

[@lionofjudahlambofgod9132]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rV7Gf2eiZbKhbM0

[@Mrs_Agnieszka]

Normalise vulnerability, for everyone, we all have the right to have feelings and to have them safely ❤️ thank you for this video, I hope things get easier for you 💖

[@cherellewhitehead7378]

You were so brave releasing this. I cried with you. I completely related to what you were saying and I felt what you were feeling and the sadness in your eyes is heartbreaking. Thank you for explaining so well how we feel and how we struggle. You’re an inspiration

[@sofiadidonna3655]

I was on this video because I am trying to Understand what my brother is going trough. He doesen't have a diagnosis, but I think he lives something more then usual emotions. You really remind me of him. My heart is broken because I always try to be by his side, but most of the time he runaways from my company, even if I know he loves me deeply. I hope I can find a way to be next to him without making him feel somehow under pressure. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, you brave heart. Hugs from Rome

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, He makes all things new.

[@kace987]

i have bpd, adhd, ptsd and am dyslexic as well. i knew something was different about my thought processing when i was younger, not being able to keep friends around for too long due to not really seeing myself from an outside perspective and being diagnosed made me feel ashamed or reassured that it could’ve all been my fault i couldn’t control my emotions when feeling looked down on. i used my ADHD prescription as a gateway to create “friends” and very bad situations come along and felt drugs/alcohol would be the only way i can truly express how i feel inside, even when i didn’t know what that looked like. i guess it felt like my sensitivity or reaction timing felt accurate and less pressured. negative things that happened for me made it hard not agree with the negative thoughts that come along with, especially when the impulse becomes the priority in crisis. handling or coping nowadays have been better, don’t have any interest in relying on substances and seeing a much better functional potential in my progression of being genuine and open. I’ve never written a comment on a video before but i also never expected to feel a lot less alone within 6-7 minutes. Thank you for being so vulnerable and showing me im not only not alone but can be beneficial to others who have struggled with understanding themselves

[@suni466]

I also have dyslexia and dyscalculia... it feels good to know I’m not alone in this, I found this video and found that I finally felt understood in a way? I’ve always had troubles with my anger issues from a young age my grandmother was abusive and my mother would constantly travel so I felt truly lonely and empty inside. But now even when I’m around my friends or family I feel alone and hopeless. I always thought me losing friends quickly was normal.. I feel like I can’t truly be myself around anyone, and it hurts since it feels like society won’t accept me, I tend to push people away so I don’t hurt them seeing them look scared just makes me feel guilty. I try to cope by binge eat a lot since I’m only 18 and can’t drink yet and have tried self-harm. I can’t control my emotions at all and it’s scary. Today I’m going to the doctors to ask for an assessment or to seen even if I do have this.

[@emmaashe5418]

I feel like you need to be told you’re not alone too- just a reminder. My friend has bpd and I highly relate to this even though I haven’t been diagnosed with it yet. Something is wrong with me and I’m getting therapy which is a good start. I constantly feel like the emotions I’m feeling are wrong or as if I shouldn’t be feeling them. Thankyou for reminding myself and my friend that our feelings and emotions are valid and OUR BIRTHRIGHT.

[@ReeceHendyy]

Thank you for this Emma.💓

[@timothyg1986]

Getting to know what I have and discovering the BPD community has brought me greater peace than anything else so far. It's like finding your lost lover, somehow I don't feel alone in the world anymore and can deal with this as a team.

[@rob3oy658]

Dude, keep strong. Most people here can relate with your suffering. We propably all loved someone with BPD and all of us just want them to be happy. Even if you guys are pushing as away, we don't forget the love you guys have gifted us.

[@AdelePeters-nr6pb]

Seeing you in pain like this hurts me! I struggle, like so many replying. You are a beautiful person who has, and is helping people! There are many toxic videos out there scaremongering others on BPD, DeMars's videos for one. Hes a disgusting human being! You however, are inspirational! If it wasn't t for people like you who bares their soul then us bordelines wouldnt relate, feel supported, feel understood, validated and so much more! Thank you just somehow dosnt seem enough! We, who struggle with this distressing illness know how hard it is to keep going. We keep pushing through the traumatising symptoms because we live in HOPE. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!!! 😊

[@OneFlewOverThePhoenixNest]

You are awesome for putting yourself out there like this, man. The male borderline perspective is not one often heard, but is so important. You are right when you say there is power in vulnerability. Absolutely, there is. And it is absolutely okay to not be okay. Things can, and will always get better, as long as there is air in our lungs and a beat in our hearts. Where there is life, there is hope. You are so brave, so badass, and SO valid.

[@noraaa8479]

I’ve lost all of my relationships due to my impulsiveness that lead me to abandon people because I’m so afraid of being abandoned first and I also feel like they’d be better without me and I won’t feel guilty because they have to deal with me and my mood swings. I’ve been also been suffering from suicidal thoughts for 7 years now, literally the smallest trigger can make me feel like I want to end it immediately. Oh and the unending emptiness that won’t leave me alone no matter how much I try to keep myself busy, it’s all just a nightmare. Thank you Reece for this video it really helps feeling that I’m not alone in this.

[@jl2937]

You have me nora. No kidding, you are not alone.

[@karenramdath9134]

Thank you so much for being brave enough to post this. I’m currently going through another BPD episode and I can completely relate to how you’re feeling. It’s an awful intense disorder which is quite overwhelming and isolating. Thank you for making me feel that I’m not alone or crazy ❤

[@lex6970]

Hearing someone else say "I don't know what I'm doing but I've got to do something" literally made me start bawling. I've felt like a freak constantly having this overwhelming feeling of needing to be doing something and keep myself distracted or my world will explode. The constant feeling of wondering if I'm an idiot because I can't express myself properly or understand people right away weighs so heavy. It really makes me feel better knowing at least I'm not alone, even if I hate that others have to deal with it too. Thank you so much for sharing, even though it's incredibly challenging.

[@FlutterFreaxrr]

I'm too scared to tell anyone I feel like this, I tried to stay away from deep relationships so that I didn't hurt anyone, still ended up in one, and still am, but I constantly end up arguing with her, and hurting because I can't controll myself, and constantly screw up, but she still stays by my side

[@welej7168]

“I have no idea what I’m doing” explain it perfect. So many people don’t understand how emotionally hard it is when you don’t know what to do, what to say or who you are. For me it eats at my depression and pulls me down hard. I wanna feel everything, but at the same time I wanna feel nothing at all. But then also at the same time you do feel nothing and everything at once. What a hellish illness this is. But we’re all in this together ❤️

[@localoxalem7767]

I relate to you 100% i also feel stupid most of the time, im dyslexic and think slow. Ive always felt wrong and i always try to be someone else, i dont know how to express myself better but thank you for sharing this💖

[@_moon_babes_]

I feel like a lot of bpd is growing up around ppl who tried to define you and didn’t give you space to discover who you are authentically so you put in a mask and it breaks down your soul. The tears are a cry for help from your soul. I hope you find relief and discover that joy comes from within, not from conforming to what other ppl dictate. Those with BPD tend to lash out or go to extremes when they feel out of control but that’s a symptom of this cry for help from the soul. We find peace when we connect to our soul, no matter what we’ve been labeled as, inward is the way out of these prescribed definitions that your soul is rebelling against.

[@marilan3455]

Reece, I completely understand everything you’ve described. I don’t have BPD but I do have depression and anxiety and yes, I do feel alone most of the time. Sometimes, especially when I’m with people who love me most. I’m really glad you are showing your real self because you are a lovely person. You are articulate, honest, real and not to forget...very handsome. I think you have a lot to offer this world and you are off to a great start! Blessings to you!

[@colleenschipani5281]

I lost myself in the 6th grade after a group bulling trauma forced me to hide all of me. I have been so affected by BPD, and yet at 42 years old am only now finding out this is why I am the way I am. Not having the easiest time trying to change those learned coping mechanisms.

[@lausgreenuku]

Your words resonate so much in my head right now. I have never heard something so accurate about the way I feel. Sending my love to you, we're gonna be better someday

[@bevshanks2972]

How brave Of you to share this. I have sadly had experience with a friend who was eventually identified as bpd but in her case it went so far as developing a lot of malignant covert narcissistic traits also. I have had to go no contact with her for my own sanity, but in her case the narcissistic PD has taken her to the point where she can see no fault in herself so projects all her behavior onto those around her who try to support her. I’m glad you have people around you, I know myself what it is like to feel so alone. Stay strong. You are at least trying hard to overcome your issues. Never give up x

[@kimberlymorrison4880]

My husband has BPD. I'm not going to say our road has been an easy one. I LOVE it when he shows emotion Otherwise he's cold, angry and intense. When I see him tear up to a movie, I'm happy he can feel. Keeping all that bottled up, no good. We have had our share of problem. He takes a statement and twists it around in his head. He fears abandonment from me as his family has done. He cheated on me when I was ill with depression thinking I was "just like his mother". No, I was sick. Keep up the good work. TRUST the people around you. Question things they say before coming to a conclusion in your head. Keep your head up!

[@corneliahanimann2173]

Please don't get this the wrong way, I'm no close friend of yours and I completly respect if you don't want to open up to me. But I am curious, how do you get back from that, the cheating I mean. I never experienced being cheated on, but I know a lot of couples manage to work through it and I just don't think I'd have it in me to differentiate his decisions and his feelings for me. Especially when you say you were ill from depression, that's so rough, I always think people like that maybe don't harmonise because someone who is depressed already has a hard time to digest betrayal and abandonment etc. I have no judgement here, I think you maybe have advice for me that helps me commit more to a relationship, because this lacks in modern relationships a lot.

[@kimberlymorrison4880]

in a nutshell...I'm still devastated. I wish I could say oh, I've forgiven him. Bullshit and I'm still pissed. You can tell me all day and night. Mental illness. It doesn't fix my heart.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@kimberlymorrison4880 oh no, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to poke around in any of these wounds. I still think it's really strong of you to even share that he cheated and that you're trying to work it out. Today's society can really condemn a woman for trying to work on a relationship with a man that maybr doesn't deserve her efforts. Sometimes you consciously have to pick the darker path to see if think could have had a chance just so you can live with yourself. I really hope you find a way to live with this and manage to heal.

[@kimberlymorrison4880]

@@corneliahanimann2173 no, no you didn't. I just wanted to give you an honest answer and not sugar coat it. I go day by day. Some days I feel like above. Some days I see the "real him". It is difficult because when I have THAT kind of anger, I can say things that may trigger him. I have to be very careful in the words i choose. We all know in anger, things can slide out that you don't really mean but for someone with BPD they then ruminate on them and create a story. Yes, there is shaming for women or men to stay. I have to told him, however, if there wasn't an illness on his part, I don't think I could've stayed. Ester Perez has some wonderful videos on betrayal. I hope by sharing my story if another person has experienced this they will know they aren't alone. I'm glad to give you some insight.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@kimberlymorrison4880 I thank you very much for giving me insight. I can only imagine what you're going through and wish you all the strength and support you need to come to a place where more good than bad days are a norm. Take care

[@tanvivij2702]

I suffer from BPD tremendously & cried with you every step of the way. Bless you for sharing this. Love and support always ♥️

[@GagaDebbie]

You are so brave! This touched me to my core. There are many many of us who walk that lonely path as well..were hiding too. The world is full of pain..but you are not alone. You can help so many. I totally understand! I too, am isolated. The feeling of judgement is too overwhelming. You are such a beautiful person..thank you for sharing sweety.

[@JustinaJayne]

I think that the thing that defines you the most, is that you are a strong person. You are honest. You find it important to be vulnerable and heard and understood; that is so worthy and amazing. Thank you. I have BPD too; it doesn’t define us, it’s not us, but it is one of the demons we get to hold hands with as we walk through life.

[@bigtimefans100]

You and I and so many others with BPD share an almost "collective loneliness", if you will. That we understand the feeling of being alone, of being so empty no matter how many people we have in our lives. But because of this, we share the struggle together. It makes me think of the "Human Instrumentality Project" from _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ (if you've never seen it, I highly, highly recommend). One question though on the aspect of fear of abandonment; this one is definitely very real and obsessive and terrifying for myself and those with BPD: do you have (what the BPD community refers to as) a Favorite Person and/or have had Favorite Person relationships? If so, I would love to see a video discussing this. I'm a psych major as well and I think that the Favorite Person (or "FP" for short) aspect of BPD should become a diagnostic criteria since it's so linked to identity and fear of abandonment. They should really clinically recognize it as so many people who are part of this community struggle with it. That being said, obviously you don't have to meet every single criteria to obtain a diagnosis (only five!) but it's one of the things (aside from C-PTSD) that I genuinely think should be in the next DSM-VI (so weird to say, that but whenever the hell that comes out!) Thank you kind stranger, I appreciate your bravery and openness. You've made us feel less alone for sure

[@ReeceHendyy]

Hiya dauntless! Oh my oh my.. my fear of abandonment is so prominent and YES I do have a favourite person. I dream about them betraying me 5/7 nights a week, unfortunately. I'll make a full video on this!!

[@ladybaabaa3294]

I have a FP too. I realised I've always had ones, from the time I was 13. They were celebrities that I would become completely obsessed with. In between obsessions, when I didn't have one, I felt...bored, dull, depressed and empty. When I was 15 I met my best friend and she became my FP. She remained so until I was 22. In the time between her and my next real life FP, I was obsessed with another celebrity. Then I met my next FP who became my partner and still is, 19 years later. Problem is, they're no longer my FP. A friend is. I am obsessed with her and feel like I'm in love with her. 🙄 Eep.

[@Jen-zi7iv]

Please don’t ever delete this video! I have watched it and rewatched it so many times and it has been very helpful for me!

[@astralascendance]

You're wonderful for making this. So so many people wouldn't post this. I'm happy I can see another unique person's struggle. It makes me feel less alone, like I could find someone like you to be friends with one day. It means alot that you're this brave. When you're down just remember all the people you've helped, don't take yourself down a dark road in those sad moments. Remind yourself that you're not the worst, nor the best and both are unrealistic goals. Just be you and you'll be happy in the end.

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new.

[@chelseagirl278]

I have BPD, this video is so heartfelt and raw. Please never be ashamed of who you are. It makes you, YOU!

[@julianfischer2341]

This guy's a warrior.

[@frankiestein1713]

A thing I struggle with is when people say “just be yourself!” When I don’t even know who myself is

[@hannahbrotheridge6535]

If only BPD was more understood and less stigmatised people might realise it's not attention-seeking, or weak, or dramatic or manipulative. It might cause hurt to others but even these people have to think about how the sufferer feels. Look at the statistics of suicide in those with BPD. Most of these people attempt it on a day they may have started off feeling happy in. Your emotions are so erratic that your rational brain is literally playing tug of war every moment. Sometimes you feel happy and sad at the same time that you're behavior has you laughing and crying. Its so unpredictable that its exhausting and leaves you alone. You might think you've picked yourself up but then realize that's just you in one of your more positive moods, as it slumps again soon after. There's hope though. I suffered. I still experience it but I'm moving forwards and its possible to escape this hell. If you're in it right now u might think I'm maybe not as severe or not as bad as you but; have hope. Push forward. Try not to ever blame yourself. And just try to give yourself value. Because I think the shame we feel about how we act on our emotions is what prevents us from healing.

[@anaterrapeacock8714]

Hannah, I just had my first episode where I laughed and cried at the same time these last days. That was so creepy and scary. Is so hard to explain something like this, if not even you know what's going on, isn't? So, I'm virtually hugging you and being genuinely thankful for your comment ❤️

[@hannahbrotheridge6535]

@@anaterrapeacock8714 it's a community of people that should stick together and work towards finding what helps us, whether it be short-term solutions in times of distress or a major theme between us all, that can be addressed. Only those with the illness can play the biggest part in helping others manage it.

[@hannahbrotheridge6535]

Not everybody with BPD abuses others. A lot of them are high functioning and understand their behaviors and direct their turmoil inwards and self destruct. Those who abuse others have no excuse and I completely agree with you that the victims of those around someone with BPD; need help and support too. I was meaning that we shouldn't blame ourselves for having the illness because its an illness that we didn't ask for. And it causes immense suffering. And unless you've had it then you can't comment on that. But i do agree; a lot of people with BPD lash outwards and truly need help so they don't hurt others. Its no excuse but the stigma prevents every person with the disorder from getting help because they can't open up. There is a spectrum of this disorder and some people don't hurt others.

[@anaterrapeacock8714]

@@kitsmith693 we have two BPD people in this post encouraging and being grateful to each other, whilst someone random is coming and telling us that we can't empathize. It clearly shows to be toxic, you don't need to have BPD.

[@hannahbrotheridge6535]

@MiniLevi I know this a while ago but I just want to say that Amber Heard isn't even someone who has BPD. She is a sociopath. Please don't call those with BPD abusive violent sociopaths when thats not true. And dont generalize either. Some people are both some people are one without the other. Some people are abusive without bpd. It makes no sense to bring up Johnny depp in this situation.

[@chabella123]

I also am diagnosed with BPD. I have been coping with addiction and eating disorder for over 25 years. I got sober 3 yes ago, but am still living in hell. I isolate and sleep alot. I am soo tired all the time. I feel ashamed, overwhelmed and lonely and sad. I feel like "Hope" therapy can help, is just a short term coping machanism promised by the professionals. I wish there was a platform for "us", just like there is one for addicts (AA and NA) Thankyou for sharing your struggle and showind me that i am not Alone with this. ❤️

[@rfalk78]

It surprised me that you said you feel stupid and inarticulate. I thought you were actually quite well spoken and very clear about your feelings here. I hope you’ve found some peace in time since this was released. You’re not alone. We are all in this together 🙏💜💜

[@froggo7215]

First sentence of this video should be an official bpd motto. Having a heavy episode rn. Seeing people here having an episode made me calm. Thank you

[@elizabethmolloy7193]

I’ve only recently been diagnosed with bpd so still coming to terms with it. Absolutely loved this video. Your so brave to speak up! ❤️

[@Sameoldfitup]

"My life is cold, and dark, and dreary, my thoughts still cling to the mouldering past, But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast."

[@yatespeare5230]

I didn't realize that I had BPD until I was a 62 y.o. woman and attempted suicide resulting in three days in the ICU on a respirator. I no longer work but have been a license mental health professional my entire career. You are feeling as you do. You didn't have to let me (us) in but you did. Thank you.

[@Retetionretention]

Read the QURAN And read about islam ,is thé way ,please just try

[@user-oc5st3id6u]

@@Retetionretention shut up

[@Retetionretention]

@@user-oc5st3id6u no is thé truth

[@user-oc5st3id6u]

@@Retetionretention no

[@Retetionretention]

@@user-oc5st3id6u it is please read

[@reginaphelange9241]

Putting complicated things into simple terms is a wonderful skill. Don't say that you're dyslexic and don't have a great vocabulary. What you're saying is profound and deep. I'm a law student on my masters degree and surrounded by incredibly eloquent people, but one of what they say is profound or really even that complicated. It's just words. Understanding is the difficult part, and you truly understand what you're talking about. It shows. Please don't be so hard on yourself.