What Dungeons and Dragons Teaches Us About Ourselves

[@cortofmalk]

I seriously love this topic. All the characters I have played I have actually based on a part of myself I want to explore, except Ander. Though I still learned about myself through him. In Ander I saw I will break my own morals to protect people. In Kass I explored my desire to be redeemed of my past. In Perry I get to be whoever I want, rather than letting the influence of others lead me. In Klaus I get to see a different side of myself who desires to protect people, in essence a matured version of what I was in Ander.

[@PlayYourRole]

It's such a fascinating thing to think about, and explore. I loved each of these characters!

[@nightangelx1513]

I think Matt Colville said it best, “your first character you learn about the game, your second character you learn about yourself”

[@TemronTM]

I used to give my characters some of the same problems that I deal with on a daily basis, like social anxiety, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. I decided that I didn't want that for my current character, so I removed all the flaws I could see in myself. At some point after having played him a few sessions, I realized that by removing the things that held me back in real life, I had created the exact character in the game, that I wished that I could be in real life, completely by accident. It actually helped me realize who I want to be, which eventually made me start going to therapy, and I'm now much happier than I was before. So thank you Sammy, my Half-Dragon Fighter. I love you.

[@PlayYourRole]

Absolutely a wonderful realization to make. It is EXACTLY that, which makes me love DND

[@simonb.5624]

Actors can deal with similar things. When you act on stage, you have to outwardly project your own experiences and feelings. But there's a boundary there because all the choices and words are scripted and prechosen. In roleplaying, it's YOU who makes the decisions and says the words. There is less of a buffer between that projection of emotion and yourself.

[@PlayYourRole]

So true! It's amazing the things role-playing can do!

[@utku1441]

I can confirm as both an actor(theater) and a dnd player, both has part of you that you put in there but in acting director has A LOT more control over the play than DM.

[@ravenwilliams7636]

One of my favorite ways of looking at roleplaying comes from Brennan Lee Mulligan: characters are a stained glass window and we are the light shining through. A character's decision will always ultimately be your decision, but it is colored by the different perspective that playing said character puts us in. I agree, I think we can learn so much about ourselves (and about others!) through TTRPGs.

[@zendikarisparkmage2938]

This is a powerful way of thinking, and it's definitely going to change the way I think about my characters.

[@jacobsargent5367]

Jerric Dayhallow, my first D&D character, was a light cleric. I didn't think that much about him as a reflection of me at the time, but looking back, he had a lot of qualities that I was working through, and in a way, trying to work out of myself. He was uptight, judgemental, overly attached to his religion to the point of being intolerant of anyone he didn't understand, driven by guilt over actions taken in highly stressful situations, even though those situations weren't his fault....yeah, there was a lot more of me in there than I realized. Flax, an achfey warlock, is almost completely different as a character - he's friendly, likeable, laid-back, intellectually curious, and happy. His relationship with his patron is straightforward and trusting, and he's in touch with the natural world and his natural self. I suppose he's a more idealistic or hopeful projection of a kind of person that I would like to be, if I weren't so worried about what other people thought of me. Vestrion, a character I made for a different roleplaying system, is interesting as well, as he embodied a lot of my depression and isolation and how I could sometimes feel better about myself while in that mindset because I could break some of the social barriers that I normally wouldn't, but through detachment and dissociation rather than actually dealing with the underlying anxiety. I'm about to start DMing a new game for my friends. I wonder what parts of me might become characters on this side of the story.

[@MayBlaze0]

AHHHH MY HEART. THIS. HITS. SO. HARD. Great video btw! Thanks for making it.

[@PlayYourRole]

Absolutely! Thanks so much for watching!

[@CardboardCleric]

I've been contemplating how to phrase how DnD supports self development. You're giving me some good pointers. TY

[@Snaitycake]

I wish I was self-aware enough to notice my own issues in my D&D characters 🤣

[@PlayYourRole]

Hey sometimes NOT feeling called out while playing dnd is wonderful

[@stevedille711]

I was talking about the similarities between D&D and a therapy I know called Internal Family Systems =)

[@PlayYourRole]

I've never heard of that!

[@bakes3875]

proud to have found this chanel, even at this little subs (in comparison) your videos are top tier, keep it up!

[@PlayYourRole]

Thanks so much! I'm definitely still small but am absolutely blown away by the growth I have seen. Couldn't be more thankful to my viewers!

[@whovianEvaremarks]

Though being a big fantasy nerd was more than enough to warrant my love for D&D and fantasy RPGs, I feel like this topic was really what sold me on the genre of games. My very first (and current long-running) character began as a very stubborn, headstrong, and spotlight-chasing woman that gradually mellowed out and now strives to help everyone where she can. I realized that a balanced mixture of all of these traits would not only make my character more interesting, but I would be more honest with myself by playing her that way. People have complex personalities and I enjoy seeing that reflected in my PCs (and to some extent, I enjoy recognizing that in myself)

[@mateuspalaro]

Love the video and the topics you have been touching on so far on your channel, here's to hoping that you grow as a content creator and keep up the good work! My therapist encouraged me to play D&D regularly as she told me that it can be very helpful to discover and free yourself in some ways, kind of as some kind of "secondary" therapy, and it really helps me a lot, on top on being the most fun I have doing anything.

[@PlayYourRole]

That's awesome! I try very hard not to give professional therapeutic advice but hearing that it helps is really encouraging. Don't worry, I'm going to keep making content! I've made it a goal to keep growing as much as I can so hopefully you don't get sick of me

[@dresdenvalareo1002]

Using my characters to explore parts of myself (light and dark sides, orderly and chaotic, etc.) is part of the reason I play TTRPGs 😄. It is freeing, it is liberating, and allows me to examine all the parts of my personality (even the ones I think I have locked away). You're right. It isn't therapy and should never be a replacement for it, but it is the next best thing imo

[@PlayYourRole]

Couldn't agree more! It's a great way of self exploration

[@johnnewhouse5326]

I think the character I managed to connect and reflect the most with was my Goliath barbarian with the entertainer background. All he wanted to do was perform and play music and read books. But everyone players and character assumed he was a dumb and strong barbarian and that was it. For me being stereotypical jock played sports, went to the gym not many people in high school or university got past that layer of me. I love to read, perform in theatre and most of all play DnD and other nerdy things.

[@herman1francis]

Great video, really. I did this analysis two the only two playable characters I have made (forever dm I know) one was a fanatic. His unshakeable belief and inhability to change his mind or consider others perspective made him a terrible team player. He almost died because of it. I often have the same failing, not to the point of almost dying of course. The second one was a mage unable to use any magic that wasn't fire and she was also an involuntary pyromaniac. But she was a really powerful mage otherwise. Which kinda mirrors how I use the skill i'm best at, rhethorics, almost always in a confrontative and destructive way and unconsciously searching to ridicule my opponent instead of building together a stronger argument.

[@PlayYourRole]

The idea of a character who holds to their own morals and beliefs to an absolute fault is always a fun character to explore. Sadly, they don't always get happy endings, but I still find them super interesting

[@herman1francis]

@@PlayYourRole We didn't manage to finish his arc because we changed campaigns. In my mind there were only two ways that guy was gonna end. He either learned through his thick skull that he needs the others to be effective and succeed, or he was gonna end dead. I'm also very selfish and arrogant in my belief that I don't need others and I can perfectly go on my way alone. I hope I do not end dead xD

[@srvfan17]

I think Leo is an exploration of the conflict between wanting to be a hero who does good when good can be done and the reality of being a person who's afraid to be hurt. Normally in that sort of conflict, the bold ideals would be the abstract lofty goal and the scared survival mechanism is the default. He lets me explore the idea of being anxious and scared and then boldly doing the dangerous thing anyways because it's what he knows he should do. He's very good, I love him Also, love to hear that Dart was helpful for you! Always a good time remembering that shiny metal bastard. Also, the nature of Silver Dragons being the most heroic Paladin-y and having to learn to temper that with a healthy caution makes his shift from anti-hero to more heroic figure feel really cool

[@PlayYourRole]

Love the dichotomy with Leo, the conflict of wanting to care but being afraid of the consequences of doing so is so fun. I'll always look back fondly on Dart! Easily my favorite PC I've played

[@robertcoplin2830]

Great stuff. I'm currently muddling through creating my second ever character. There's plenty to think about here.

[@JohnPalb]

Strong points made here, and I've always enjoyed the idea that what's happening at the table is an examination of exaggerations that the players and DM's build from psychological aspects of themselves. That we might learn something through reflection on our game play regarding these aspects seems logical, if that's something we choose to do. I think another facet of role play though can be the ability to take those exaggerations, and act without fear of real world consequences. I suppose in such a way we learn how we would behave if such inhibitions did not exist, but in the game this can act more like an exercise in egotism, if all we are doing is expressing ourselves in the game environment. In either case, I think what's important about role playing is the interaction between these exaggerations of ourselves, not so much our personal demonstrations of them. If we wanted that, daydreaming actualizes as much. What's interesting is how we shape these aspects to fit in the context of the setting presented, and the synergy that can develop between very different people presenting very different things. And by synergy I don't mean conforming to a singular idea in agreement, but rather creating something interesting and compelling in the contrasting elements of characters, cooperative story telling with diverse perspectives. I think these things happen naturally in a group that's invested in the story being played out, and look for ways that their characters' arcs can further the story, rather than attempting to have the story further their individual character arcs. It's an important difference to recognize, if we're looking to have a chance at an enjoyable experience at the table for everyone, session to session. Anyway, I enjoyed this video, Caleb. It spoke to what can be gained from role playing, beyond just a few hours of fun, which, to be fair, is a good enough reason to play on it's own. Keep up the good work, man. And I'll catchya on the next one.

[@PlayYourRole]

Thanks so much, I love the analysis. Always a pleasure to be able to read!

[@TeddyMcgiggles]

I think a lot of it comes down to the group/table you play with. Yes, D&D is a roleplaying game, but I've played with groups in which the role play aspect of it was either really played down or even non-existent at all. With the popularity of MMORPGs a lot of people take that same style into the way they play D&D. Yes, you make choices for your character but many times it seems to boil down to Good vs evil vs neutral type stuff more so any in depth personal growth. I guess, like most things, you only get out of it what you put into it. Maybe I'm in the minority here but over my twenty something years of playing D&D although I've had a ton of fun; I can't say that I've ever seen anyone or myself use it to work through any real life issues (not that it doesn't happen, I've just never seen it first hand). Maybe my group and I just don't look as deep into it beyond it being just something we do for an excuse to meet up and gather for a good time. I think its great that you can find a deeper meaning for yourself through your playstyle and characters but it's also okay if you don't. The important thing is that you're having a good time with friends that you support and they in turn support you. Thank you for another good video.

[@PlayYourRole]

That's very true! To be entirely honest, and somewhat embarrassingly, I often forget there are a lot of tables that find value in their games without so much emphasis on roleplay. it's just been the largest draw for me personally for so long, I forget to expand my horizons. Thanks for the input Terry!

[@commandercaptain4664]

There needs to be a Jeff Foxworthy joke video about "... you might be a wargamer": "If you love THAC0..." "If you think 'minis or GTFO' and scavenge pieces from Risk, Funkoverse, Chess, and jumping jacks with bug-eyed abandon..." "If your background is 'kick names, take ass'..." "If you murder anything that moves because every NPC has a 1% chance to be your enemy, and you have to take it as an ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY..." "If you wonder how doing a voice will give you a bonus to your attack..." "If you want your character to start at 21st level..." "If you spend an hour trying to enact combos stacked from previous turns of prep..." "If you wonder why another player chose a non-minmax build for one's character, and therefore wants to sabotage your gameplay..." "If you have wet dreams of playing Chainmail instead, even though you've never played it before..."

[@quendi5557]

Hey, I played in a group and we didn't have that level of deep character development. but we still had fun.

[@wizthrift]

A fantastic video! Good job on this one. This is something I have been exploring more and more in the past couple of years during a campaign where I've played 2 different characters.

[@Lngbrdninjamasta]

Thank u for this introspective I found it very enlightening 💯😁😎👍

[@PlayYourRole]

Absolutely! Thanks for the encouragement and commenting to appease the youtube algorithm!

[@StumpedSlicken]

I've only played in two campaigns - one finished, the other halted indefinitely - but, I can see what you were saying in this video. My first ever D&D character was this dragonborn wizard who was really shy and wasn't all that confident. She wouldn't speak much and just really hung around the group because they helped her (she lost her memory in the first encounter and they took her to a potion shop to get it back) and she got attached to them. Throughout the whole campaign, she started feeling better around the group and opening up slightly, to the point where she openly expressed her love towards another PC and openly talked with the other characters. She also became the character the others would go to if they needed advice or just needed to talk about anything. My second campaign, I played a changeling cleric who was born human but was changed into a changeling against his will. He valued his family, was very loyal, outgoing, valued teamwork and wanted everyone to join in on a task, though he could come off as a bit arrogant at times. He also had trauma from being turned into a changeling and would always hide that side of him, always using his old human appearance. The two characters seem different from each other due to how I felt at the time. When I played my dragonborn, I hardly knew the group and, being shy, I didn't know what I should do, often times letting the others make decisions and following them. The second character was when I felt way more comfortable with the group and was allowed to represent my more outgoing self. However, the second character also represents that I still felt like I wasn't really myself and like I couldn't be because I hadn't been in a comfortable space with that many people before - I didn't want to regret my decision. At the end of the day, both characters represent some part of myself and how I interact with the world (how I am verses who I somewhat envy).

[@Kestas_X]

Wow! The music in the outro is so relaxing.

[@PsychicSoldierPro]

agreed, I'd say my warforged artificer, Ion, I'd say deep down, he is my obsession with learning and my hunger to learn and understand

[@commandercaptain4664]

2:15 Ordinarily, yes, but more than a few resort to the primal reaction of fear.

[@percussiveseer415]

Nothing like a good existential crisis at 3am Your channel name was just taken to a whole other level, too

[@PlayYourRole]

Hey, there's not better time for a crisis than 3 am if you ask me!

[@tammymccaslin4787]

I’m 7 sessions into my first campaign ever and already learning things about myself and identifying things I want to explore.

[@foxtoxic9722]

You manage to psychoanalysis yourself and completely deconstruct a part of your subconscious personality that you weren’t even aware existed, to come to the conclusion of, “I’m not that smart.” I wish more of us were as not that smart as you.

[@PlayYourRole]

I'm about to reveal my lack of 'smartness' but there is SOMEONE in history who said: "The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know." and honestly that changed my life. I genuinely appreciate the comment!

[@BlueTressym]

I love this; definitely food for thought.

[@icyleamon]

I wanna finally play DnD as a player just for this

[@ancientdarkmagic1409]

Man I can see myself making a character that either, is willing to sacrifice himself for others or is stubborn to receive help from others and always feels the need to help others. That being said this type of characters should be made in campaign of group of people that you trust and are comfortable being around.

[@Explosive_Pineapple4124]

And when you dm, your inner problems become challenges for the players. *evil grin*

[@PlayYourRole]

HMMMMMMMM.... What an interesting point and potential video topic

[@Explosive_Pineapple4124]

@@PlayYourRole You're most certainly welcome. It would be a fun watch!

[@TemronTM]

I think I need to check if my DM is okay now :o

[@Kino_Cartoon]

@@TemronTM yeah please do. We like to joke around but just because we get so much enjoyment out of seeing our player's enjoy our sessions... and we don't want to interrupt that. It gives us joy it gives us a bit of purpose it's hard address the real issues than especially when addressing those issues often don't make them go away.

[@diamondblade3490]

Listening to this video, I was actually able to identify the major elements of myself that are in my two current characters. One is a tabaxi wizard, who was given up to a library at a young age because their mother couldn't afford to take care of them. Growing up in the library led them to want to know everything, hence them becoming a wizard. I was also adopted due to financial reasons on my birth mother's side, and have never met that side of my family. (I also gave them my issues with confrontation, story for another day) My second character is a Horizon Walker ranger who I rolled a charisma score of 5. He's incredibly antisocial and prefers to spend his time in the woods. He's gruff and doesn't like people, a bit like me when I'm socially drained.

[@shinrafugitives3880]

With my philosophy about character creation, I tend to avoid making it about learning about myself. For example, the first character I made in 3.5 was just an aspect of me that epitomized my understanding of d&d etiquette. Because of that, I realized I was a lot less of a spazz than I thought I was. Since then, I decided to instead look at the lore and society of different races and play out the aspects of those details that I find interesting. The most of myself that I'll put in any of my characters nowadays is my mental limitations, which I eventually threw out when I made a chaotic evil cleric of hastur (and let me tell you that character is an ordeal to roleplay). Just something that comes with the osr mindset.

[@wordmule74]

I had a character named Gilligan he was a Simic hybrid (sharkman) Barbarian who didn't have a whole lot going on in his life besides his unknowing of society due to amnesia and his search for his father but I learned from him my fear of abandonment and need/want to fit in with society and being a 7'2 sharkman makes it really hard and having to kill his own father minutes after finally meeting him to prevent the death of his friends allowed him to grow and become a much deeper character and allowed me to come to terms with my real life weaknesses

[@Suralin0]

There were a lot of characters who I played as though the game was closer to an ARPG for some years, but I started putting some effort into the matter a couple years ago. Teigo, my very first 5e character, was a failed-potionmaker-turned-hedge-wizard. He had my intellectual bent, and my history of being bullied or pushed around for it -- to the point that he took a little too much pleasure in hurting people who reminded him of his tormentors. Tazerath, my devil-worshipping tiefling sorcadin, was even more of a blood knight. But I played him with the quiet understanding that he was semi-aware that a lot of that sadism was a cover for his own insecurities and self-loathing. Nellie Proudstone is still important to me. As a spunky, sassy dwarven alchemist and jill-of-all-trades, I was surprised how much of her character talked and acted almost without needing my input. It was realizing that I felt far freer and more automatic as Nell than as myself that was one of the huge "oh crap" moments that led to me coming out as trans. I'm still glad I have her wit, warmth, and creative/exploring nature to call upon. Not a huge amount to say about Sylvia's character. She was a celestial sorlock I built for a dungeon crawl. Didn't really get a chance to do much with her character, but the unquestioning compassion she showed when it counted was definitely an aspect I wish I felt less insecure about expressing in the real world. And then there's Melthaea Tanner, my one-armed thrown weapon fighter. So much of Mel's build, flavor, personality, voice, and backstory are just flowing organically that it's kind of eerie. I think she embodies a lot of the toxically stoic aspects of my character -- the idea of not being willing to accept or trust help, even when it's plainly beneficial. Not to mention, in a lot of ways, my mental inertia.

[@PlayYourRole]

I absolutely love being able to read about other peoples characters. The amount of love, care, and stories they put into them is so incredible. Thank you for sharing!

[@patrickhandley627]

I enjoy playing small monstrous creatures that are playing at being people. Goblins gnomes halflings imps occasionally bugbears, kobolds. Older human women. Usually something other or frail or small something that will be underestimated, or something terrifying and monstrous or strong.

[@abbacadaver]

I tried to make my first PC like the complete opposite of myself. It was only when her passivity became detrimental when I realized the same was happening to me.

[@commandercaptain4664]

I think RPGs are better teachers than therapists. I don't necessarily use them as a means of mental wellbeing, but more as experimentation of what it's like if I did this, that, and the other beyond any real, lasting consequence. Roleplaying allows that to occur in extreme circumstances, which in turn helps inform my own interactions in real life. I once played a nurturer who cared for a group of people to know how well I can manage disparate individuals and keep them as a group, and for someone who eventually wants to run a small business, that's a crucial skill to train in.

[@ashermacdonald6823]

ive noticed that dnd characters completely must have a part of our selves in them, and so now when i make characters, i often like to make them metaphors for my real life struggles, like a kitsune i made, who has a consistent disguise self type ability, acting as a cool and rigid rogue who lived on the streets and was super smart, but in reality he cant handle who he really is and is an adventurer because hes running from himself, using his fake persona to almsot fit in, in a way, and so if it ever gets dispelled, i plan on having him become almost the complete opposite, portraying my more unsavory characteristics, being nervous and scared of everyone and everything, and not having any trust for anyone, always believing that people are out to get him and that he has let down his parents. Because i ended up basing so much off of myself, i antisipate that he will be fun to play simply because i can go past all of the confusing parts of being human and simply put myself into a similar but different characters shoes. You made a lot of good points in this video, and it will almost most definitely cause me to think differently about the way that i make my characters.

[@xcelentei]

My first character in high school went from a very cliche amoral rogue, into a psionic demigod who played with reality using philosophy and existentialism. In hindsight, it was a way for me to vent philosophical frustrations I was having with god and morality, while also giving me a character in which I could safely challenge the "radical" and "new" assertions I was making. Only after I went to college did I understand how most of those ideas weren't mine. Media inspired by philosophical works inspired me to have the philosophical ideas. But I think letting me play with those using fantasy and sci fi was a healthy way for a young teen to grapple with high concepts without getting too prideful.

[@kendraking4336]

I thought about this with my own current character, and I couldn’t figure out for the life of me how I was representing myself through the egotistical, Primadonna, half elf swashbuckler. Then, I recognized that it was a small part of myself that related to her. She didn’t act like this because she was spoiled growing up (all though that could very much be a part of it), but most significantly, it was due to her own insecurity. She acts like she knows everything because she doesn’t, but wants people to believe she does. She acts like she can navigate any social situation, because she wants to make herself and others believe that she really can. And I realize that it’s very much a coping mechanism I use for my anxiety. I tend to act more bottled up but funny around people I don’t know as much and feel anxious around, because I’m too scared that they’ll not like me. My character doesn’t know it yet, but that arc is going to be some healing for me, and a lot of healing for her

[@commandercaptain4664]

Is there a video about players who justify "that's what my character would do"? I need to see that video.

[@Beansmith95]

engagement

[@PlayYourRole]

Lets goooooo

[@DFG1125]

I have made characters before that don't have any of me in them. I always hate playing those characters. On the flipside the ones that do have a part of me, even a very small one I enjoy. All the characters that do have a part of me also have daddy issues in some form or another. That says something doesn't it?

[@eline8087]

Do you study psychology or philosophy by any chance?

[@garrettlaturski6703]

I usually dump charisma, because I don't think There's a charismatic part of me lol

[@benhemsworth8555]

I mean, a warforged pretending to be a human was a joke idea. That totally doesn’t say anything about me, right?

[@Kestas_X]

I remember my first character in DnD: he was a Paladin and somehow became a hypocritical zealot who actually needed therapy and living for himself. I only learned from him that I shouldn't force bullshit on myself that I actually don't want. I hate this character to this day. I hope he wasn't a part of me. Except for cripling insecurities and judging themselfes for everything.

[@jotagroovy7479]

Ive engaged

[@PlayYourRole]

Your engagement is greatly appreciated!

[@Sovann_the_Mighty]

So, the reason I keep thinking of how to create new cool female characters, even though I'm a guy... 😦 Oh no, wait, I've been single for 8 years...

[@staanlucifuge851]

Hmmm I wonder what part of me my NSFW characters represent.

[@jzziloho]

Awesome video, but I have to say you might have ADHD 🤣

[@MythicMachina]

As much as D&D can be useful for learning about yourself and even coping with things, it is NOT a replacement for proper therapy. If you have an issue that you feel is seriously affecting your life, please seek a therapist. At it's heart, D&D is escapism. Which can only go so far, and sometimes can even be detrimental to one's growth if looked at in the wrong mindset. No matter what who you are or what you are going through, no one is "too good" for therapy. This world sucks and we all proper therapy sometimes, even if your problems don't seem like a big deal.