What If You Have Children With A Narcissist?

[@mymai2792]

My daughter summed it up yrs ago as a little 9yr old, after getting back from a stay with her father. I've always been on her side & dedicated my life to her care & self worth... so unprompted she said. 'Dad doesn't want me...he just doesn't want YOU to have me.' I always knew as our marriage went on he was getting more self centred & arrogant. I did not realise until after our split my ex fit all the points & techniques of a narcissist. It makes everything fall into place. My life is so much brighter with knowledge from this channel... thank you ❤

[@thisorthat7626]

@My Mai, I hope your daughter has been able to come to terms with her father's behavior and attitude. How sad that she figured things out at 9. Blessings.

[@mrrreddy8067]

It’s funny cause my 9 year only son noticed these things with his mother.

[@SexiSeahawk69]

Glad to hear you have dr degree in absolutely not shit. Nice.

[@uyoebyik]

They will poison the child's mind against you

[@dejana225]

100%!

[@rahmasamir909]

Its a fact

[@lauriegentry7764]

It's truly hell.

[@misfitgamma]

PARENTS WHO MANIPULATE THEIR LOVED ONES TO HATE THEIR MOTHER OR FATHER OR THEIR GRANDMOTHER OR GRANDFATHER IS ONE OF THE MOST DESPICABLE THINGS A HUMAN BEING CAN DO, PERIOD!!!!!!

[@mjs9660]

OMG .. that is what is happening to me...I cant be the one to wake him up for obvious reason ..Waiting for him to say enough is enough ,

[@aleesaonoahu4550]

It’s an exhausting siege unless you set boundaries. Also record/document every interaction with the ex. Present evidence to the courts, family court usually recognizes narcissistic behavior.

[@DanTheAnalyst]

When I set boundaries during separation and during the divorce and custody case that was deliberately drug out for 2 years all the things HG is describing Minimal contact with their mother but she slowly controlled my kids and conditioned my child that no longer contact me and never call me back and they are teenagers now and all I did was removed myself from her constant verbal and emotional abuse 12 years ago so no matter what I did or didn't in oder to have Minimal contact with my ex narc wife she was going to effect my life someway and somehow and it was my children which is the ultimate punishment, now my children have the smeared version of me, they were forced and conditioned to have the same fake version of me has hers. And when I asked her about it she said that her children have formed their own opinion of me she did nothing it was all my fault, I tried Minimal contact it's doesn't matter they will control and every around you, I love HG and he is 99% accurate but not this one, sorry HG every else on spot on

[@Anna_Rita_ARB]

@@DanTheAnalyst I totally agree.

[@ML-bu3lz]

@@DanTheAnalystI can relate. My ex wife is trying to do this. It’s not working but it’s very very exhausting

[@Somebodysomewheresometime]

Mine have been alienated for 2 years. I was the one that raised them 90% of the time, as he is a rockstar and was always gone (still is - he remarried a custody lawyer now). My oldest cuts and has had anorexia “so her father would notice her” she told me. Then changed her story and blamed me in front of him. I understand though. She’s trauma bonded. I’ve tried everything to contact them and nothing. They are 15&17 now and shadows of the little happy giggly girls they were when I was there. It’s the saddest thing in the world. I pray for them and hope they will weave their way out of his evil web… they will be extremely damaged though. He doesn’t love them, he knew I did with all my heart, which is why he did this. They are MONSTERS

[@dejana225]

I have 3 children with a middle mid range narc. I have been full no contact with him for 2 years. I do not communicate with him at all! It IS possible. He has access to the kids he does not have access to me.

[@Fred-ii5hu]

How did you accomplish this?

[@lkreyche]

I see what you are saying, but my narcissist husband actually targeted my children and turned his abuse toward them. He was ruthlessly critical and hateful toward them, undermined their little spirits whenever possible, and I pulled the plug when I saw it happening. Cruel. Contempt for them as well as for me. Happily, he died 5 months after our divorce. I was nowhere near that cliff, and you can't prove I was. Haha, gallows humor. He simply didn't get life right. Ever. He died a miserable man. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. My children were young enough, and I got them out of there early enough, that they are now happily adjusted young adults. My 8 year old son said after a particularly abusive tirade, "Well, at least it's over." There is no fixing it. You really do have to leave and never look back.

[@creeper2054]

It sounds like you hit the jackpot.

[@sophiestevenson2421]

I have learned he never loved them the same as he never loved me. We played a part in his idealised fantasy world. They can be the mixer, kitchen aid, whatever the appliance. I am thankful they are older and see the doosh bag that he is. They, like me want nothing to do with him.

[@misslorispreschool]

Thank you for this spot on material!!

[@IndigoRoses7]

My narc ex has one daughter from a previous, short lived relationship. The child's mother had primary custody and she married another man in the military and they moved with the daughter to a different part of the country where the new husband was stationed, several years ago. My ex took all of his anger from that situation out on me, while I still tried to be there for him. This was before I truly realized that my ex was a narc. My ex was able to have phone calls with his daughter, supervised via speaker phone with the mother listening in..and my ex found this unfair. However, now I understand why that was the way it is. The mother was protecting the daughter in the ways she thought were best. I ALWAYS feel sad, for children not to be able to have a full connection to both parents. To be away from one of them. But I do wonder, how much this child is being spared of abuse, even if it would be unintentionally done by her dad. He did show a lot of emotion and love for his daughter. I urged him to get therapy when we broke up, and to do it for his daughter so he could be emotionally available to her in life when she will need him. I truly hope he does and I hope it helps him.

[@django2264]

My ex is a narcissist, I discarded her and exposed her a month ago to child services and have gone no contact. Now she's not letting me see them or speak to them by not agreeing to contact.

[@EMYoutube1225]

Hire an attorney to establish and enforce both custody and visitation.

[@achirichello1208]

You exposed her as a narcissist to CPS? Those calls are recorded. Your children will be dragged out of class at the most inopportune time and interviewed/photographed by strangers. My second advice to her would be hire an attorney. You should do the same.

[@triplejmom7826]

HG has a video about co parenting & courts. He also helps consulting. You can contact him & ask. I believe it costs $150

[@pauls9050]

My ex has done the same and even turning one of my children against me. I have contacted child services and even making multiple police reports. I haven’t spoken to either one of my kids in months. Now I’m afraid one of my boys is also a narc.

[@kitsune7351]

I bought both packages during 50% off sales, they are really helpful! Seriously worth it with practical advice and some good news about our worst fears.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

HG approves.

[@justintimemagddelow672]

I dodged one hell of a bullet! Thank goodness 😊.

[@TecOneself]

I have children with a narcissist, diagnosed by a psychiatrist ordered by the court thanks to me, I guess thanks to the whole thing. But it was a car accident with a result of a 'Square frame of Psychosis" One I helped thanks to my psychiatrist during three years so it moderates for the private only. My story is of horror and thanks to the 4 psychiatrist I had over 13 years in 4 cities. Also to other counsellors and social workers with the pro's and con's. Your work is a master piece who shall be given to prevent many much horrors, specially for social workers who have not studied the many tricks and facets of the 'Narcissist', thank you.

[@goodmandawn]

I married when I was 19, had two children in the 70's with the ex and divorced him in 1987. By the time I learned about the NPD my two children of that marriage were young adults. Who had already became alienated, and weaponized against me and my family by the ex and his drunken enabling family. I have forgiven myself for not knowing what I know now. Sadly although he made theats to kill my parents, turn my children against me, not give money if I left him.I didn't know how he would make his threats come true.. I will never forget that he showed no interest in our children, as he implemented the reverse discard. I was exhausted and stressed all the time from doing everything, including being the only one providing support as he set me up to look like the problem.

[@jamiejokersin354]

I play the fuel matrix game with my ex because I don't want him anywhere alone near my children. I don't see how I can escape unless I move to Zimbabwe or run him over with a bus 🤷

[@saxonstacker7269]

It's hard.

[@shiningstar7476]

He took my kids and hid them after I told him I wanted a divorce they saw the abuse and always intervened...we are now under temp orders and are both fighting for custody. He lied and got temp custody primary. He's awful we are zero connect but it's affected my kids he has zero emotions and lives with his narc dad. When they are with me we love on each other and I try to work on controlling there emotions and telling them I'm doing everything I can to get them back. It's so sad

[@WhiteBirdMustFly1]

This, in my relationships was my worst nightmare! It all started with poor patenting by 2 children who had no siblings, so 9 children later, my Father & Mother, would rarely fight but when they did, it was dramatic. Mom tried to discipline but his Son's wouldn't obey her wishes and or discipline, the twins would mock and heckle her, till she came out with the riding crop.

[@kiddytube3915]

I’ve been fortunate that my narcissistic ex has re-idealised me and our relationship with the children has never been any better. I finally have the respect of the narcissist.

[@FluttershysNipNips]

How did you do this?

[@mymai2792]

Brilliant helpful vid.

[@nicolewright5342]

As long as you’re strong enough not to marry the narc you have the power with the children. Not to imply that it’s easy to escape their clutches but it is easier. At least here in the 🇺🇸

[@CLS51]

Not true. I Massachusetts the father has just as much rights if you’re not married as if you are. I made the mistake of not marrying him hoping it would help protect my daughter and instead he has just as much rights as if I married him but I’m left destitute because I didn’t, so I have no rights to our assets that should have had my name on them too. I now live in a nightmare every day of not being able to protect my child, legal abuse because he has the money & him making me homeless soon.

[@donnadaniels5095]

Thank you HG love your work🏅 my daughter is 24 and my ex narcissist is Steel trying to get close to her to get next to me🤣 she's fully aware of narcissism, I taught her, not to give him control over her life ,and I make sure I say nothing bad about him, , so she'll know how to deal with him 🤐if she goes out to lunch, I'm fully aware of how he move, he better wonder who I am super empath HEYOKA/Sigma💪 I like peace✌ he do not want none of this☝️ he better move on,⛓ total no contact on me.. HG I even experience flying monkeys 🐒 I see how they work .

[@Vixinaful]

I never understood this. I sensed something was really off with them and would NEVER drag a poor child into it aswell. I have really no respect for women who do. You dont reprocreate with your demon, ladies!

[@mjs9660]

Its almost New Years and and our Christmas Trees still has the presents sitting underneath, just a very depressing reminder of the ruined Christmas.....Can you please explain what parents can do when the Narc daughter in law will not let us be in our first born grandchild's life.... the events that have followed since my son brought her into out lives ....OMG....Lets just say it to my demised that I did not find your KZbin channel otherwise I would of been saved from all the emotional thinking and doings... I have been silently angry with my son ..why is he letting her get away with ALL the drama she causes..,Now I realize that my son has been dosed out a obscenely amount of trauma bonded moments with her ...OK sooo now what....Now that we know ...now what...my granddaughter has a NARC mother and is already using her as a weapon against us and she is only 10 months old....OMG the horror my husband and I feel...Soo now what

[@tracimattox2152]

What if the mother is the narcissist?

[@riverman837]

@Traci Mattox: Being a mother "and" a narcissist is a great vehicle for facade maintenance and child abuse. NO CONTACT is the best and only way to gain complete freedom from future abuse and torment.

[@alexleal1216]

See “How to handle a parental narcissist” from the knowledge vault

[@nightmangerthe6386]

Then the rest of your life you'll feel pain. Sorry, even after years of no contract it will hurt, that's just how it is.

[@Play-jv3oi]

The best, i want to give you supply, because you gave us the key thank you, you are the BEST BIG TIME, YOU ARE REALLY PROVIDING GOOD ADVISE, Thank YOU, Thank you,. Everyvody should come here and give you supply you deserve it. If common narccisist would stop being lazy and instead would be govong valuable advise like this one they would have all the praise and grandiosity they want

[@Whitenoise541]

These tik tacs can also be applied with pets I’ve noticed.

[@latikabenz6289]

How do explain then that the narcissist has completely detached from both of us (our child and me) he just shows up to take him to school but then disappears the whole weekend. Doesn’t even call to talk to our child.

[@survivornist]

Hi tec oneself, you mention your ex narc was diagnosed as he was referred to a psychiatrist ordered by the court. How did you get this to happen?

[@Play-jv3oi]

What about if it is the narccisist that has the custudy of the child?

[@lilbadforeign]

do you have kids, H G?

[@somewhereoverthere.9373]

I don't believe he has, I knows what he is and doesn't want to pass that on. Listen to the videos about his mother. It's quite horrific.

[@leebeemesppp1432]

How do I book a phone consultation please?

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Hello Leebeeme use this narcsite.com/private-audio-consultation/

[@alison7354]

is it possible that having a child can make them a better person? more empathetic?

[@debbiechia]

no

[@yvonnegill2155]

No the children are damaged emotionally. They never feel empathy 😪

[@_Silvermoonalpha]

❤

[@RossAveritt]

Y'all men are so hardened that y'all will not speak up about your wife bc you are afraid you will never get any. I have children and I don't think I am a narc but my narc wife sure does make me feel like I do! So how do you get out my funds and constantly deleted bc she doesn't want me to be able to leave! I just have to put my foot down

[@quinn3974]

♥️🔥

[@TheHammerOfLogic]

I Went GoSo After Finding Out That My Wife Was A Middle Mid range Narcissist. She Has Two Children From Her First Marriage, Both 14 And 12 Years Old. I’d Got Very Close To Them Both & I Miss Them Very Much. I Just Hope That They Reach Out To Me When There Both Older 🥲