What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

[@christopherstephenjenksbsg4944]

Some years ago, I knew a man who carried a diagnosis for BPD. He was given to self-harm. His first notable symptoms came when he started cutting himself as a teenager. Subsequently, he covered his body with tattoos, most self-administered, and piercings. He displayed all the typical features of BPD, including an intense fear of abandonment, splitting, impulsivity, and substance use, in his case an addiction to opioids. He died in 2007 of a drug overdose. It is unclear whether it was an accidental overdose or whether he deliberately committed suicide. Despite his mental health issues, he was a very sweet guy. I still miss him.

[@heathernikki5734]

Thank you for not making us seem like evil incarnate

[@hiteck001]

their is also a major flaw in the mental health field that says you have to be a cutter to get this diagnosis. Drug and Alcohol abuse IS self harm

[@IrmiZen]

Thank you Dr. Grande! This information needs to be publically available, so your work and KZbin channel is very appreciated 💝

[@bela9225]

I am almost certain I dated somebody with this disorder. He went ballistic because I fell asleep on the couch for a couple of hours after flying almost 4,000 miles to see him. When I woke up, he was intoxicated and my phone was flooded with missed calls and texts from him. He was watching my body language like a hawk for my entire visit. I tried to explain to him that I fell asleep because of the jetlag, but he argued that it was because I "didn't want to do anything." He was the most charming, open, confusing person I have ever met. I should have known it wouldn't work when he told me that every woman in his past had seemed to reject him. When he broke it off, he seemed completely numb and casual about the situation. Before my flight home he said "I do feel bad about all this and I'm sorry." I hope he is okay today.

[@dcfarouk]

Thank you for your contribution, I find your lectures very informative and a relaxing way to digest psychiatry. Enjoy every second .

[@biancasummershaye7722]

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy and unable to control. I understand how painful I feel. I'm so sick of it messing with my life :, (

[@alexisgreen-hernandez8604]

It is still hard to understand from a person living with BPD. Because it is so true this disorder 😕 is very complex.

[@drewcharles2398]

I'm a borderline and it took my whole life to be diagnosed. I was 60 when I found out and never go grateful in my life. I finally had a diagnosis that I could learn about and understand the insanity of my life. I have made great progress but certainly never expects to be normal. I have way more control over my behavior now. Not perfect, but way better. I'm a borderline and it took my whole life to be diagnosed. I was 60 when I found out and n ve way more control over my behavior now. Not perfect, but way better. Diagnoses is key. I have been looking for help my whole life. I've had at least 20 therapists and besides very generalized diagnoses like depression, anxiety, anti social personality disorder, none of whch helped me get better. It would help if therapists better understood these conditions.

[@angryengineering7356]

Hello, Is there a way to just get u in prison? Or force u by law to leave ur family? Thanks!

[@fisheatsteel]

I think people with BPD also need to be honest with themselves about the disorder. It's really not all that dissimilar to NPD, as both are cluster B personality disorders. In fact, around 40% of people with BPD also have NPD. There is also a high correlation between BPD and psychopathic traits. I'm not trying to shit on people with BPD, I just think it's important for people with BPD to acknowledge and take responsibility for their negative personality traits and how they affect others. Simply ignoring your inner issues, blaming it on your mental illness, and saying you can't change is toxic. If all you're doing is blaming your ex's and your mental disorder for how you treat others, then you probably need to look in the mirror and go to therapy. Imagine someone with NPD almost bragging about it or acting like it's nothing they need to work on. Not a good sign.

[@PokemonGoPlus]

This video has caused me to realize that my crazy ex was suffering from borderline personality disorder. His dangerous car rides, sudden outburst of irrational screaming, controlling. He definitely had this I now think vs. I simply thought he was crazy as my only label before.

[@Mindsetolympics]

I love the way you put that Dr. grande “idealization” then “devaluation”

[@YoBeAwesome]

Thanks for this perfect example of devaluation cycle

[@feralbluee]

my best friend has Borderline personality disorder and i am constantly reminding myself how this affects her (and me). so thanks for the way you talked about it. we're both born in 1945. i have my problems and she has hers - we make a great pair LOL

[@TarletonsLegion]

I'm a male, 32. I have BPD and ADHD. The struggle is real. My fiance kicked me out. The pain is overwhelming

[@robguitarwizard]

I am pretty sure that I have this problem. I have been diagnosed with major depression and anxiety; but there is more to it. I have all the symptoms of BPD.

[@nadiasouthiere7908]

Hi from Canada ! Dr. Grande you’re super interesting, I love your channel❤️You’re doing a good job👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻🤓 A few years ago I went to see a psychiatrist and he told me that I have the Borderline Personality Desorder😔🥺Let me tell you that being Bordeline is really painful 😣You wake up each morning wandering why you are here on this earth, you’re feeling sad or angry all the time, you have trust issues, mood sings, it’s hard to love someone, you feel alone even if you are surrounded by people, you think you have no worth, no self-esteem, that’s why I’m totally anti-social, I have no friends, I’m unable to open up to someone, I hate the World 🌎 and I have a great fear of abandonment 😳😱Bordeline Personality Desorder is A living Hell! Thanks Doctor 🙏🏻 for all the good videos you’re sharing with us🙂I’m learning a lot about mental health each time I’m watching your videos. Sorry for my bad English, I speak French!🙋🏼‍♀️🇨🇦👍♥️

[@Skylark_Jones]

You have described someone I was in a relationship with. They also tend to project ie they accuse you of something they themselves have clearly done and you've witness them doing it!

[@Phoenix333Rising]

Isn't that more of an npd thing?

[@RajaMCool]

BPD in men is frightening!

[@michaelamcflurry4614]

Thank you for covering this. It made me feel more comfortable and strangely safer? I do not know what to call it, but it is securing to see an informative and useful source of information for BPD.

[@Maria04rb]

I have bpd but for me keeping relationships are the hardest till this day I've lost pretty much every friend I've ever had since im unable to control my actions and moods as well as my reactions to please in order to escape abandonment and rejection from others...

[@yasminay4557]

It’s exactly how I feel all the time and people around me and my boyfriend don’t believe my sufferings and pain. :((

[@ellaturkiewicz333]

legit i'm ur biggest fan my dude i'm a psychology student, keep at it

[@margaretcampbell2681]

Yes anger is very significant, but do you ask how did this happen to a person? How does someone develop this disorder. Explanation of why this disorder occurs would help people become more compassionate towards these tortured souls. No it is not a female variant of anti social personality disorder. Consider that the aggression comes from the anger and fear. Females are more likely to sexually abused at a very young age. The traits are developed as a protective survival mechanism for the child. Generally you have given a reasonable description

[@KJensenStudio]

Good, objective and clear delivery, Todd. Thanks!

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome!

[@hiteck001]

also their are BPD examples are in every AA/NA meeting and in fact if you read the NA's recovery literature it describes all of this in layman's language

[@IwasBlueb4]

I love your explanations, Dr. Grande

[@DrGrande]

Thank you so much!

[@Happy-Me.]

An excellent description. I wish I had known this 2 years ago!

[@DrGrande]

Thank you!

[@Happy-Me.]

Todd Grande She is a quiet borderline which I abandoned/left. I've gone no contact for 3 months but sure I will be hoovered!

[@margaretcampbell2681]

The anger does not come from the personality. It comes from the severe and sustained abuse they receive most often from their caregivers. Ninety nine percent of BPD suffers have been sexually abused usually in childhood. This only comes out in the second or third year of therapy. BPD sufferers may share some features, with anti social personality disorder sufferers, however ASPD sufferers often exhibit criminal behaviour, not all BPD sufferers are manipulative and they certainly cannot be described as criminal types though there are many in female prisons often due to substance abuse problems. Genetics may play some part, DBT and schema treatment are good as emotional dysregulation and recognition of emotions are huge problems for them. Borderline sufferers crave compassion but rarely receive it due to a failure of psychologists providing a good description of the causes, namely extensive abuse in childhood.

[@dakotachilders5827]

I was diagnosed with BPD over a year ago and have been in CBT for almost a year. While the CBT has offered a few helpful skills I find that overall there is not much change. If you happen to read this I would appreciate your opinion on whether I should try a different provider or if CBT just isn't going to help me as much as I wish. I understand you do not know me and cannot give me a clinical diagnosis.

[@AnneLien1987]

I feel like i'm losing control. Bpd is so hard. I hate it.

[@juliemedlin7443]

How does one get help? Our society is becoming aware of mental illness, and they say to seek help, but from where? My doctor is only able to recognize and label depression and give a prescription for that. I need more!

[@ahmedahm1]

7:27 Similarity between ASB in males and BPD in females

[@Dawnseeker2000]

For me, this video was just in time, as my treatment was just beginning in November 2017.

[@charleslyall5857]

I noticed in another presentation by someone else that the latest classification of BPD suggests a very close correlation to CPTSD and that they are almost seen to be indistinguishable. Also, the other Cluster B disorders can be exhibited in one person. Is it possible that many of these disorders can be seen as having their origins in early/childhood trauma.....and that this is the common theme of all the cluster B symptoms?

[@carolgates5297]

Angry that not everyone kisses the ring, especially veiled threats, erratic driving, sudden need for something making them the center of attention. Or else? NOT

[@ethn1ctwitch]

I have AVPD and borderline, except the suicide criteria(Male). the hate/love thing I can relate to and even if like me you are totally aware of your own reactions to certain situations (that you avoid if you can) when it comes down to it, it always goes to shit. Either towards the person(s) or if I manage to repress it in front of them, my head is full of rage for a long time. It is almost easier to just make it go to shit because then I have a concrete reason why I feel bad instead of just being fueled with passive rage that I cant get an outlet for.

[@daseguin]

While this was very helpful, it very unfortunately neglected to discuss "quiet" borderline distinctions from the "classic" manifestations which are much more visible and easier to diagnose. This is exactly why so many dealing with the "quiet" manifestations are either never diagnosed or are below the radar with this. The truth is that there are probably at least as many, and very possibly even more "quiet" borderline disorder cases than there are the "classic" ones. When anger and other emotional factors are discussed regarding their manifestations, this is paramount to the discussion relating to differentiation between outward rage, etc., and those which are more of the severe passive-aggressive nature, such as silent treatments and elements of a more dissociative nature which is more common in the quiet cases. This is extremely important, and i ask you to please address this.

[@DrGrande]

Have you seen this video? kzbin.info/www/bejne/bH3YhJmCmZqgmLM

[@daseguin]

Todd Grande Thank you for your response, and for the link. The video on the quiet bpd manifestation was very informative and was also presented well. I definitely want to state once again, that just as you acknowledged in that video the importance to properly inform and educate regarding this aspect of bpd, and the need for proper diagnoses to take place, it is crucial for those very reasons that this manifestation be presented alongside/equally with the "classic" manifestation type. This is exactly WHY this area of topic has been so widely misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and ignorantly brushed aside for far too long. Thank you again for your time and consideration.

[@JonDDuDee]

my depression has gone too far

[@redshiftexperiment]

Thank you Just! Just revisiting this again . The only comment is that so many people who show signs like these are on substances. It muddies the waters, because one would have to observe them free from substances before giving an accurate diagnosis. So therin lies the rub as Shakespeare said.

[@svetlanajaramillo5091]

Thank you Dr. Grande....you are very helpfull, your explanations very logical, always with scientific base....thank you very much

[@christina9828]

If I have BPD...how the heck am I supposed to live a normal life

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

With extreme difficulty! Actually, that was a joke. Treatment is available and there's lots of info online.

[@lachele7099]

Learn DBT skills, they help a lot.

[@loriwardwell2957]

This helped me clarify Borderline personality disorder, I was having trouble getting a clear idea of it in my mind.

[@Ellie-nq8vv]

I feel as though people with BPD are expected to behave and act in ways that are ‘socially acceptable’ / ‘fitting societal norms’ and are stigmatised, belittled and insulted for being unable to with little consideration for the fact that they have a disorder! Where as there is a lot of understanding and acceptance for the behaviours of those with ASD. Because ‘they can’t help it’. Neither can people with BPD 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@telofy]

My two borderliner friends are total cuties! 🥰 One is completely internalizing; the other only manipulates me in obvious ways, so I know when not to take it personally. 😁

[@stevemellin5806]

Yes my ex girlfriend took me a bit but it's true I feel sorry for her .and hope she gets help one day

[@qiuwbr091]

This was really good. I’m asking the question; if fear of death in early childhood triggers the beginnings of borderline personality syndrome? Something like what was once called “hospital separation” syndrome? My father saw it caused problems for him when he was lost and MIA at the end of WWII. (Hospitalized with major major concussion. No one knew his identity & he couldn’t speak. His teeth were blown out.) But he recognized the childhood separation syndrome in children and returned to help my sis recover from Poliomyelitis. Without him she could have become NPD as children left alone in iron lungs often were.

[@msilvaoregon]

I dont think life is as simple and as black and white with what im hearing here on this. No one likes to be abandoned. Or maybe give up when finances are combined, children our involved, businesses are shared, health issues, small families since so many are split, etc. Its just not this simple.

[@myworms]

Anonymous many of the comments in the doctors videos are essentially “person with x disorder hurt me and you should avoid people with that disorder at all costs”

[@hiteck001]

Object relations theory nails the causation in my opinion.

[@MrBanzoid]

You have just described my sister in law perfectly.

[@joseedgardotejada100]

Where can I find a test in Internet to evaluarte my mind as I have many episodes very un confortable that make me unstable and is difficult to deal with?

[@funeralparties]

Hello, can you explain the difference between Borderline PD and Separation Anxiety Disorder? It feels like there is overlap, and I'm confused. Further is one's environmental background determinant on which is ultimately diagnosed? Are there co-morbidities with autism spectrum disorder?

[@marlak4253]

Dr. Grande can u do a video that speaks directly to the heritability or biological component of borderline personality disorder?

[@verthib]

Thank you for this. I really identify with almost everything you said. Would a mood stabilizer help someone with BPD?

[@louisfelixlaroche-morin6411]

Hi, Thanks for your videos! Can you elaborate on the reason(s) for the "constant anger" in BPD, please? thanks again.

[@DrGrande]

Yes, I have another video that cover the anger sometimes seen with BPD: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6LJY4Z4bNpohpI

[@belyin3805]

Subtítulos en Español por favor

[@palomablanca4218]

My son was diagnose this disorder and he has none of the symptoms. He has a good job, one 2 relation ship, now he is a father and a wonderful partner and son. He is very responsible. he is just a angry at me ( his mother) often for simple stuff, and he explode always on the phone when he is mad at me because I expect them in my house for mother day.... hes responds was..." it was not written in stone that we are coming over".. he then continue telling me that my perfume is to much and that I don't care , that I ask him time and time again how is he doing and that I don't respect him as an adult because I do not listen. when he say he is fine..... What is going on with my son???????? he is usually a sweet heart.... and then some times he makes me walk on egg shells. Now to make it worse he is in hiss second relationship with some one who practice witchcraft. Please help !!!

[@andreasleonlandgren3092]

Really appreciated the video where you were interviewed on psychopathy sociopathy. I have recently been diagnosed with eupd/bpd. Your knowledge helps me. I am struggling to change my behaviour.

[@lynns755]

I think my 25 year old son has borderline PD but then again it could be his ADHD symptoms. I cant seem to work him out.

[@FrkVildkat]

No, borderline is not a female variant of antisocial personality disorder... I am so tired of this theory/idea. Please do not promote that... People with borderline personality disorder, often show so many more feelings than many people with ASPD. One can have both (in my opinion) but BPD is not a female version of ASPD.

[@PokemonGoPlus]

This is the best description of borderline personality disorder I have come across. Thank you for sharing.

[@savannahmeredith1883]

jodi arias imo

[@trishthedishluna]

My fiance has bpd. It is def not the same as anti social personality disorder at all. There's a vastly diff motivation behind their actions. And they genuinely feel intense regret.

[@StRiKerhost]

Thank you ive been diagnosed with BPD didnt know what it was its me for sure

[@zeroamericanhero]

Thank you Sir for explaining, I appreciate this.

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome!

[@monkeybone6843]

Dr grande should there be a scale for this disorder like a extreme, high, mid and low. If so should the client be aware of that? And if they were aware of there extreme behaviours do you think that would effect the patient? Especially with the very common low self worth seen with this disorder.

[@johannlibert8738]

Great video sir!

[@DrGrande]

Thank you -

[@rosamariaortizpino1238]

Great explanation. Many thanks. I am interested because I have a friend who is deteriorating recently snd showing traits of it so I thought to find some info in the disorder would help me to maintain the friendship, although I feel quite discouraged now

[@Gamerrgirl12380]

My family always would talk about how they think im bipolar cause I can go from happy and laughing then someone (usually family member) will do or say something and I get so mad and ive got a friend where i blocked them thought i was done talking to them then i let them back in and sometimes im happy theyre back and then sometimes im like "im so done with their bs theyre the same as last time" and then like an hour or day later im talking to them again😭

[@billhildebrand5053]

Treat - is considered Chronic...

[@miavine5023]

Please can you do more of these psychology videos

[@knoxx187]

Omg this is 100% me..... Idk what I'm supposed to do

[@sazzhiltin6042]

Kenna Butler me too

[@daisygirl1217]

One minute at a time...

[@Makewayproduction]

Do borderline people tend to have a lot of energy and anxiety? To me it feels the anxiety is disguised as passion (so they say) but deep down I feel it's more to do with them not been able to be in calm and peaceful place..

[@WardragonLog101]

Thank you for help understanding myself. Childhood abuse victim here. Wonder why I can't keep a relationship, why I'm overbearing and nitpick at every hint of against me. Fuck..

[@taaayll]

Does the love hate cyle only focus on one person at a time? Or can you be in a love hate cycle with a parent and a romantic partner simultaneously?

[@DrGrande]

I have seen the cycle involve more that just one other person, but IMO this occurs infrequently.

[@Yamikaiba123]

Wow! I would have assumed that ASD was associated with High Conscientiousness.

[@samadams632]

Hi, I’ve been lowkey diagnosed with quiet borderline personality disorder and I fit almost all the criteria for avpd but..for years now I’ve had the fear that it wouldn’t take me much to lose it and that I’ll be/turn into a psychopath/sociopath. Is that possible? Thanks

[@lizcaddy6316]

I’m about to get tested for ADHD but this sounds similar to symptoms of that

[@spicymickfool]

Are mild cognitive impairments frequent? People I've known with a diagnosis tended to have trouble with upper level highschool math like precalculus. Intro physics also gave them trouble. The black and white thinking seems a difficulty in processing nuance. If there is a cognitive problem, is it due to a fundamental deficit, or could it be some cognitive resources are distracted by emotional stress leaving little left over for further information processing? Narcissism seems pretty common in these conditions. Isn't there a theory that narcissism in adulthood is failure to grow out of necessary narcissism of infancy? Another example of under development. Holding in working memory that which is identified with self and that which is identified with other for processing could be difficult if cognitively impaired or impeded. Any truth to the association of BPD with poor object permanence?

[@ahsanahmedzai6257]

Sir, I am student of Educational Psychology, can you do some short lectures for this field as well?

[@DrGrande]

I could - do you have a specific topic in mind?

[@merleackeret8652]

Is development continuous or discontinuous?

[@gozitan5]

Thanks Dr.

[@farizrahadianiswoyo]

thank you

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome!

[@sigmaomegaalpha237]

Does borderline mean at the early stages of SPD.

[@Giulysunshine]

Thank you for your videos Doctor Grande! I was wondering if it's possible for someone who has bpd to suffer from social anxiety periodically as well...

[@devenirdelostiempos]

What strikes me the most is the way you pronounce "personality disorder."

[@greggc.touftree5936]

Great I drive fast and I smoke cigarettes, and I get angry when stuff is frustrating. I also have low self esteem and I am angry at the world for being so shitty. Guess I have Borderline Personality Disorder.

[@annettashields1076]

Can you do a video on BPD vs. NPD?

[@DrGrande]

Yes, thank you for the idea, I will put it on my list of videos to be produced -

[@wonderwoman5528]

Who else is here after Amber Heard case!

[@socksmcfurry3611]

I just discovered your channel. Very interesting and informative. Is your doctorate in clinical psychology or something else?

[@jchow5966]

Pver the last 35 years i have known/worked with 3 women with BPD. The 1st woman spent 12 plus years in prison for 2nd degree murder (according to what i have heard she is married now but living a rocky life …. The second woman (very talented delightful person when i knew her) became a religious extremist - she went from being a cool person to very cult like almost overnight - she wont talk to any of her old friends or family because they are immoral - very sad. The 3rd one is a co worker and friend who goes to a lot of therapy sessions and takes meds for some of her shmptoms and does well. The first two women got their diagnosis in the late 80s while the 3rd woman is younger and is open about her diagnosis and says she does not feel stigmatized she is a person who is always trying to improve herself and cares a5bout others.

[@MrsAppetite]

I wonder how anybody came up with this idealization etc... how can they tell the difference between normal marriages that goes wrong ...and bpd..its the same circle ?

[@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091]

Thank GOD you compared us with antisocial and not narcissists. You hit the nail on the head pointing out the impulsivity aspect is nearly identical, as I believe that's the shared trait that has lead me to date so many god damned morally deranged women. From what I can tell borderline rage is a release-valve that keeps us from bottling it up and either turning into psychopaths or killing ourselves. Its one hell of a drug. I've met two other borderlines, one woman and one man, and indeed they are both perpetually chasing, investigating and manipulating their ways with their current favorite person. I have been saved by a combination of no-contact, welfare and MGTOW. No family, no boss, no woman. Its no fix but has worked as a temporary reprieve, I'll be entering a borderline clinic in the autumn where I already imagine I'll be meeting my future wife, and holy !#@%& what a passionate roller-coaster that one is going to be, but its gonna last lol

[@jordanhughes858]

hey future husband

[@jusjeany]

can be a living hell on earth when they use suicide threats if you don't meet their demands

[@hiteck001]

Also over time the DNA memory component keeps this as a family cycle of repetition

[@knowthycell]

This is my wife, but she would say differently.

[@Ketannabis]

Could being hit with a baseball bat in the front of the head where the eyebrow is cause a personality disorder such as BPD?

[@hiteck001]

No that's a poor man's lobotomy

[@craigblack7076]

Basically, if it's chronic there is no hope.

[@sloanebaslan5853]

SO many personality disordered pwople thesd days. I dont think it's just that we rexognizw it more. I believe there are just more of them.

[@cagurl9113]

You are very down-to-earth in your explanation of psychiatry but I'm a little bit worried that looks like a pentagram in back of you!!??

[@barbramarshall9790]

Plenty of evidence