What is Gaslighting? 9 Signs This Type of Manipulation is Happening to You!

[@miapdx503]

I didn't realize how toxic my husband was until I stayed away from him. (Even after separation he continued to control.) The longer away from him, the happier I became! After a year I was elated! I lost 40 pounds, became social again...I started a whole new career, and I'm almost 60. My friends say I'm like a teenager. So so happy. So so worth it, though I struggle financially. As he rolls around town in his Mercedes, and I catch the train. So worth it.

[@ko.ala.b]

So there is hope. Thank you. I am still processing... It is half a year now.

[@c.9850]

Congratulations. Being single is joyous. I am 67 and love it.

[@petmomful2260]

Why didn't you get half of his money? How long were you married? I am 64 and have been married for 45 years. If I do not get away, I will probably have a nervous breakdown. I just want to keep my rescued pets. My kids are grown. We do not have a lot of money, but I would be counting on getting half of it, and half of what our paid off house is worth. I have a pain disability, and cannot work, so I would have to have that money.

[@c.9850]

@@ko.ala.b Get it lined up and go. I did and never looked back. Happy now. You can do it.

[@elizabethchwakanowski5067]

Lol anybody who divorces after a long term relationship goes through a teenager phase. Look it up

[@eswan8900]

1) 2:00 Second-guessing 2) 2:29 Threatened or on edge 3) 3:05 Needs to apologize 4) 3:59 Trying to make others happy 5) 5:07 Fundamentally wrong with you 6) 5:54 Hard to trust your own judgement 7) 6:45 General anxiousness/nervousness 8) 8:00 Much "weaker" version of self 9) 8:51 Afraid of expressing desires

[@Alicia-ns4cc]

Thank you!

[@DaniloRec]

@@jellyfishi_ oh be quiet with the government

[@vikramanuragsingh]

Wow! That's all me.

[@ladylaici7992]

Thanks! 👍🏻👍🏻

[@gregblackley7708]

This is to do with, you, Elena, and I'd be looking at how your parents raised you...

[@tishleigh7026]

Please pray for me so I can save money and get out

[@lauriej.3544]

Tish Leigh I will say a prayer for you. You must not give up on yourself.

[@tishleigh7026]

Laurie J. Thank you very much

[@tishleigh7026]

Roseanne Maye Yes I pray to Jesus Thank you

[@PeaceBeStill44]

Tish Leigh God is with you, and he hears you honey. I pray right now that the funds you need to leave, come at the speed of lightening. It will be ok very soon. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@austinpricer8207]

Hi Tish. I just saw this video and your comment and I will definitely pray for you. I understand because I'm in the same situation. Wishing everyone here much love and healing and with God's help andguidance and love we can do this.

[@jenniisap]

I’ve been told many times to “be the bigger person” even when I was the one being attacked. One day I straight up said “no, I don’t think I will” and the reaction I got was hilarious 😂

[@dorothyyoung8460]

Jeniya C God bless you and your healing. I’ve tried to do this bigger person thing for many years at great psychological cost and finally realized I was only being played for a chump

[@manichairdo6346]

I have a lovely friend who was seriously used, misused, abused and even accused by a dreadful person. I helped her in a small way to go no contact. Others did, too, but once she used that term 'be the bigger person' which I'd never heard of before or since until I read your comment. Now, I am wondering what the term even means. I can't ask her at the moment because her only daughter has died suddenly...7 years after she lost her only son, 3 months after she was widowed. Where did the term originate, Jeniya? Do you know?

[@break-through]

How did they react?

[@moontrucker8939]

@@manichairdo6346 I'm guessing it's an evolved term that comes from Scripture telling us to put others first & to forgive ppl who sin against you. My daughter-in-law used the phrase meaning she was not going to reciprocate with vengeful behavior against her step-father & others who emotionally abused her & lied about her. She estranged herself from these toxic ppl for a long while. When her mother got sick with cancer, she was there everyday even tho, they underhandedly took custody of her baby having her believe it was temporary until she got her life together after coming out of an abusive marriage. They lied to her daughter having her believe she didn't want her.

[@thegiftedseer6764]

They hate confrontation!

[@dopedonshortyg6967]

Worst gaslighting technique is when the gaslighter tells you: No. I’m not doing this. You’re gaslighting. A new level of insanity.

[@northstar5919]

Narcs do that

[@reid.mp3]

my brother has been doing this to me my entire life. i always thought maybe i was doing it, but knew in the back of my mind that he was (he still does it to this day)

[@raquelreyes1923]

Justin Neyform i agree with your comment I did not even know what gaslighting was until a year ago when my current wife was telling me that my ex was doing it but recently she’s been the one that’s been telling me that I’m gaslighting her to try and make her feel bad when I’m not I voice out what bothers me so we can fix it etc or so she can put herself in my shoes but sometimes most of the time is goes wrong... sometimes I’m scared to voice out what is bothering me etc because I know it will end up in a fight sometimes it’s hard to keep inside what’s bothering me and we end up fighting of course and I just feel the urge to apologize and make things right I just love her a lot and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong Now. Cause back then I know where I messed up.

[@justrandom8766]

@@raquelreyes1923 what you need to do is.......say whats bothering you, if from what is said next will let you know whether its going on a negative or positive direction. If negative then walk away either to another room, garden, town, park. Take your power with you. People soon realise who has the power. So never give yours away. Works for me everytime, quietly and calmly say your bit. They feed off your reaction so don't give them a reaction.

[@dopedonshortyg6967]

Raquel Reyes yep same exact thing. Afraid to call it out. When you do, it’s a big mess and your told it’s your fault anyways. You apologize just to fix things. Only further reinforcing the gaslighting.

[@leochick77]

Yep I have been gaslit all of my life from childhood to adulthood and I'm tired of being timid and manipulated. Time to be assertive.

[@elanabethfariss117]

Don't ever knock yourself for things you didn't realize were triggering you. Fear paralyzes, if you say you aren't afraid but then you are, you are lying to yourself. Understand what is making you timid, face up to it and go through the process, then you can be free :)

[@gpowellish1]

Same here

[@miriamb.3078]

@@elanabethfariss117 thank you, so true

[@crafteecreations343]

Leo Chick 77 same here. Just ended a relationship with a person who was a narcissistic sociopathic manipulating liar. He had me so confused until I backed away. I will never connect myself to such a person again. I was always upset and confused. He took me on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I’m happy and the next I’m sad and crying.

[@imusingadisabledoldpersons63]

Totally get u

[@mrgordy1980]

This video opened up my eyes. My relationship was littered with silent treatment, things we can talk about, things we cant talk about. If I would bring up something I wasnt supposed to, I'd be in for more silent treatment lasting up to a week, or days. Started out in the relationship strong and positive, 18 months later I was a weak, tragic and confused version of myself. What I learned: Never make someone your absolute everything, especially someone who is emotionally immature, keep some of yourself... for yourself. Do not EVER worship them. Stop apologizing for breathing. Dont waste time on people that manipulate and cant communicate. I'm going to the gym now! Bye everyone

[@Xante188]

The Gman I know exactly how it feels.

[@junaidmohammad5664]

Sounds like you were in a relationship with a BPD woman/man...

[@sanctusignis9746]

@@junaidmohammad5664 not necessarily, could be NPD too, or just avoidantly attachment style. But since this is gaslighting,the partner definitely had dark triad traits...

[@Aloswifey]

Sound like my relationship.... I get stonewalled all the time

[@Aloswifey]

The Gman My relationship is like that too. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells

[@gloriaprice8179]

21 years in a marriage. Couldn't pinpoint what was happening. I have finally found exactly what it is.

[@gloriaprice8179]

intx123 I have already been to one, not because of your comment. And have confirmed. So really, comments like these are not necessary. Wondering why you even got to this video...

[@wildernesssparrow1156]

Gloria, Please pardon my barge, but I'm in a similar spot and couldn't help but notice that snark commenter, as it sure provides a good example of what an invalidating gaslighter would say. It is interesting that his/her immediate presupposition, without even knowing you, is that you, not your gaslighter needs professional help. His second presupposition is about "these types of women." What types of women might that be? The commenter doesn't even know you. Its called Fallacy of intention, with a hefty dose of misogyny and projection on the side. The third presupposition is blaming the victim. Perhaps intx123 should get some professional help.

[@wildernesssparrow1156]

lol. You are probably right. Just coming alongside Gloria is all. Wouldn't it be great if there was an "imbecile-free Day" each year? Maybe like the 4th with festivities.

[@wildernesssparrow1156]

are you referring to her husband or the troll who insulted Gloria?

[@gloriaprice8179]

wilderness sparrow I totally agree with you! :)

[@satellitesurfrockanthonyak5738]

Controlling & Avoiding responsibility - says it all

[@joannaventrello2179]

I realized I was being gaslit by a "friend" sometime ago. I spoke out today and told them I don't want to be friends anymore. I wasn't going to be their emotional punching bag anymore.

[@hollywoodharriet13]

I wasted years in toxic friendships.

[@patriciobrito9653]

A lot of people work behind the scenes pretending they are helping when actually they are abusing power and trust

[@sillyhippie1794]

Patricio Brito this is why I'm so scared to love...

[@michellewilson9022]

Patricio Brito Trump...!!!!!!

[@irisgonzalez-caulder4817]

Michelle Wilson Impeach Trump

[@Jackgritty28]

The misuse of power, the perpetrators should be ashamed and punished😩🇯🇲✔️👌

[@lollic307]

People suck

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

I have spent an entire lifetime surrounded by people who gaslighted me. My parents and brothers assigned me the role of scapegoat, making me think I could never do anything right. Even when I did good things they would make me think it was stupid to do. I began to question what I was going through when I saw that even the good things were mocked, I would think, "how could that have been wrong." Up until I went no contact with my brothers I remained silent a lot after I became an adult, because I knew it would turn into something ugly. I am 65 years old and have never had a good time with my brothers at a family gathering, I kicked myself that it took so long to remove these people from my life. Now I feel great joy since I have decided not to have contact with them.

[@misstmemrs]

Me too! The siblings and children have sibling alienation psychosis.

[@hanchee6806]

Same here

[@blueyellow3621]

You did the right thing to kick toxic people out of your life.

[@misstmemrs]

Ignoring, stonewalling, cognitive distortions and logical fallacies are things that make people seem to be gas lighting. It's important we look at our part.

[@leecurtis6354]

A few years ago, I finally told my brother to f--k himself and only made up with him after I refused to talk to him for 3 years. I don't see him much now, but he doesn't seem to dare to criticize me all the time anymore

[@trishmuhu7717]

happened so much with my ex husband I kept googling "am I that forgetful or is he lying" that's the first time I came across the term gaslighting! that was the beginning of the end of an abusive relationship and I am about to graduate with a diploma in counseling psychology.

[@Goldgirl1020]

My flatmate does the same thing, and you and I know we double check things after a while so know we didn’t forget to do things...it’s just their drama and controlling bs.

[@hhhhh4413]

I sure would like counseling from you. Your words rang the bell for me. Thank you!

[@c.9850]

Congratulations. Teach women to open their eyes about marriage. It's like sheep going to the slaughter.

[@wowwomenofwisdom6396]

@@c.9850 the key about marriage is to be equally yoked!!!! You don't put a lamb in the cage with a lion!!! Especially one lies constantly!!! A lamb should be with a lamb and a lion should be with a lion so they can devour one another if they choose or they can meet at least they're equals. A good tree should be with a good tree will bring forth good fruit!!! A bad tree should be with a bad tree it will bring forth bad fruit!!! Pick your battles lies me believe no man test all things I believe no woman test all things try things to know what is the truth!! If you wait for the truth and seek it you'll find it and it will set you free don't be entangled with the Yoke of bondage..HALLELUYAH

[@c.9850]

Fantastic. I am very proud of you.

[@tiffanynana5809]

The person who gaslighted me was so good at it that I didn’t even notice. And I studied psychology in school!

[@sagewisdom3371]

Damn, same here!! I just woke up this year, and saw this crap for what it is...

[@kukol]

Tiffany. It's "the person that Gaslit me" not gaslighted. Ask for a refund from the place where you studied.

[@iz-0511]

kukol Jesus Christ take a chill pill

[@marvelouslife1309]

Yeah, psychopaths are like that. They've spent their entire lives perfecting their techniques.

[@tiffanynana5809]

@@kukol Thank you for the correction. I made a mistake

[@purplediamond5172]

I've been going thru this for 10 years....... Today 6/27/19 I left his a$$.

[@NH-tb2sm]

Good for you! Congratulations!

[@highpeacetess]

👊💕👊👏👏👏👏👏💕💪👑💕

[@sagewisdom3371]

So awesome, I am too on my way!! So happy for you!

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

I just found out today that I was gaslighted for 8 years by my ex fiance. It just contributed to my c-ptsd. So glad we didn't get married.

[@purplediamond5172]

❤ ❤ I happy that you left. Im currently in counseling he really messed me up.

[@heatherhartman6474]

My whole family specializes in gaslighting...and I'm sick of it!

[@AthenaOnyx]

My grandmother is considered a saint by everyone in my family except for me. She gaslit all of us. I still have trouble trusting myself, and about every man I've ever been in love with is a gaslighter. I don't even think I can love someone genuine so I"m going to be alone for a while.

[@TallSilentGuy]

Get out! Never look back. You may as well try to make friends with a mosquito settling on your arm to suck your blood rather than try to befriend these corrupt monsters.

[@jamesroberts6248]

@@AthenaOnyx The same template has played itself out in my life. With my birth family the only workable solution was NC.

[@AthenaOnyx]

@@jamesroberts6248 What's NC?

[@yo4ellie]

@@AthenaOnyx could NC be, no contact?

[@c.oconnell3904]

I got out of a 35 year relationship with a narcissist - I was broken, he would even tell me how I feel, saying “no you don’t !” When I would say,” I feel sad.” This video may save someone’s life! Thanks ❤️

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you for watching and for taking the time to say those kind words. I really appreciate it!

[@baxterkavan8425]

My mother is a narcissist... she gaslights me every time we speak. So we don’t talk much.

[@naomirousos8524]

Just ignore lotta people is this way

[@bunnybaby975]

That’s all you can do sadly

[@imusingadisabledoldpersons63]

Im so glad im not the only one

[@HellonWheels777]

Same, I can't wait to go NC and start getting my own shit straight.

[@moontrucker8939]

I'd tell her she is 'gaslighting' you, explain it. Then tell her psychiatric help may help her understand why she does this. If you have to, estrange yourself from her unless you can disregard it.

[@Irislaurel]

My mother; who has never taken responsibility for what she does. It has had a profound effect on me.

[@tsherman393]

Sorry:(

[@Irislaurel]

@@tsherman393 Thank you. It'll be ok

[@Irislaurel]

@@makeitcount2985 😢

[@Irislaurel]

@Shawny Love That's hard and painful. I dont know how I would handle that but you're obviously a strong person.

[@Irislaurel]

@@princess_peachii I feel your pain. I really do. It's a form of psychological torment and emotional distress that I can't explain. Just know it's not your fault.

[@wallflowers1000]

I dealt with this the 1st 30 years of my life. My mom was the narcissist. I was physically and mentally abused as well. Thank you so much for sharing this video.

[@Horseluvver]

Same. I then spent 20 years married to someone who treated me the same way as my mother, only he didnt beat me bc he didnt want to lose his firearms in a domestic. Lucky me. 5 yrs divorced now, if i hang in there maybe I'll have friends someday...my cats are my everything so it doesnt really matter. Those who trust are targets.

[@carebearing69]

Crying because this is me and I didn’t know it ! 😢

[@finsterthecat]

Depending on who it is. I still have not cut ties. It is very difficult when you have invested years into the relationship.

[@tayogreatajibade3830]

Same here, I know better now

[@moswarthy1]

Usually narcissist people use gaslighting naturally. But you can’t fix people. Put the focus back on you. See if your behavior is codependent. Look up codependency on KZbin because the behavior is just a symptom of the real pain inside. The pain is the thing that needs to be resolved in a healthy manner. Then your behavior will change eventually.

[@catt5426]

I know.. me too. Even though I broke free, I am now stuck with panic attacks because of PTSD.

[@cedricignatius]

Nope no more crying just anger and resolve

[@selfcare.1004]

I just watched the movie gaslight(1944), with actress Ingrid bergman. I would recommend this movie to all the victims out there.

[@selfcare.1004]

Jae, thanks for your comment. Yes, I watched it 3 weeks ago. GREAT MOVIE.

[@stressstealerasmr6718]

Thank you

[@shaneluke346]

Felicity Eng I agree Felicity Eng , the film Gaslight IS a good film posted from London England

[@CouldLiveOnYouTube]

I agree 100%! I also watched the original Gaslight with Charles Boye(sp?) and Ingrid Bergman. KZbin only has scenes- not the entire movie. I rented it. I have several clients who would SO BENEFIT from watching this classic!

[@theresesmilingmoon9186]

Great movie!😊

[@janetseager4069]

Why are we calling this 'gaslighting'? Why not call it what it is, emotional, mental and phsychological abuse. This is abuse. I lived with it for the first 40 years of my life. Have spent the last 25 recognising it for what it is

[@raelonewolf]

It is abuse, and she says this in the video. However, there are so many ways to emotionally/mentally/psychologically abuse people, and gaslighting is just one of them. It's a very commonly used form of abuse, so getting people to recognize the patterns in this form of abuse can get them to understand that their relationship is toxic.

[@MrAgmoore]

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. ... The term owes its origin to the 1938 Patrick Hamilton play Gaslight and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations." - Wiki

[@loriloo1039]

It’s named after a movie where a husband wanted his wife to believe she was crazy by dimming their gas lamps and calling her insane when she mentioned the lights being dim.

[@janetseager4069]

Thanks I didn't know that, although I know the film. My point is, however, that not calling it for what it is, abuse, risks minimising the seriousness of such actions

[@MrAgmoore]

Lori you ruined the movie for me :-(

[@uncurledink1952]

I just wanted to say that God just brought me to this video tonight. This is what I’ve been praying to find, praying to realize, praying for help. The circumstances that I found this video can not be a coincidence and the fact that this is exactly what I needed to get set on the path of helping myself recover from an emotionally/Mentally abusing relationship. I also do want to say that I haven’t been practicing Christianity very well recently but I prayed for “an inch” or a little foothold, something little that I’m missing that will allow me to finally start healing, and this was it. A true God Moment, and I just needed to share this for other people to read. God Bless ❤️

[@VioletRaya]

I am crying on the inside right now. 😭 My gaslighting experience was from a former pastor I served under for several years. He would get after me if I stood up for myself to a couple of patrons that disrespected me and my husband several times. He made it seem that my feelings were wrong and invalid and that it was a sin to defend myself and my husband. Well I say all this to say this. I don’t care if you are dealing with a teacher, a priest, a pastor, a millionaire or a celebrity you don’t put up with anyone’s shit just because of their title or that they claim to be a “man or woman” of God!

[@KiLLED5639]

Them religious people are the worst. I've been there too.

[@paulatrombetta1105]

@@KiLLED5639 awful.....they are awful!!!!

[@americasariesson1862]

Or a screwed up therapist - not the one on the video lol - my former therapist

[@machtnichtsseimann]

@Natalie Nieves - Well said! Actually, those with degrees in other fields as well, or basically those with "authority" can be just as fallible as those without such titles and degrees. "Pride comes before the fall." Spiritual abuse in the Name of God is some of the worst to experience, and it's amazing how many are brainwashed into such a toxic system, as if YOU ( or me in my experience ) are the Problem. Backwards, upside down, messed up shit.

[@silentgrove7670]

Its more common than is spoken about, religious/spiritual narcissism is a thing as such people are draw to positions where they have power over others. Gaslighting by tribe is another phenomena that occurs in groups.

[@scarmsaniiaggrey1646]

I've been on the low I been taking my time I feel like I'm out of my mind It feel like my life ain't mine Who can relate?

[@timmyotoole7312]

I hear ya...

[@charisharvey82]

Logic! 😉

[@christiegross1453]

If you’re thinking of suicide please call for help ASAP. I caught the reference. Because I related to this via abuse for most of my life.

[@disgustedangel9608]

It's demonic! Don't believe some of this so-called "mental" BS tagging!!

[@matthewirvin6505]

I don’t wanna die today

[@dennyhutsell4975]

I recently left a 54 week marriage due to this phenomenon. I had to! I’m 47 years old, I didn’t exactly like the idea of being single again and starting over, but given the option of years of frustration and general unhappiness with a sick person, I had to end it.

[@megoco411]

Hey Denny sometimes you just have to. Congratulations for moving forward 🙏🏼

[@jameskeogh9554]

I commend you, Denny. It takes a lot of courage and suggests to me that you are strong enough to have your life a success.

[@mrschmidt8384]

@@deeluchrain3718 hey you're doing victim blaming. Those people are very very manipulative, so it's incredibly difficult to spot them. Please don't do this.

[@renerodriguez8983]

Brother I know what you mean.

[@lisacraig-mcmillan2532]

I am so sorry for you had to end your marriage. I had to do the same thing. I was not married for long. I found out my husband was cheating and lying to me. He was a sociopath, a pathological liar and serial cheater. He treated me like crap. I too understand how you feel about wanting to not have to be single anymore. All I have ever wanted is to be a wife and mom and now that will never happen. I don't attract men as I am not a pretty woman. The only men that seem to pretend to like me are men that are controlling and abusive and someone like my ex husband. Its so painful. I am surrounded by abusive people and have been abused all my life. I have no friends and no family as the abused me. I have no support. I totally feel where you are coming from. I am never going to find true love or have kids. I have tried all my life. I attract abusers or I have to be all alone. At present I am all alone and being abused at my job. I can't breath remembering all my ex husband did to me and saying I was ugly and unwanted just like other people have told me. He hurt me more than anyone even though I have been hurt all my life. Thank you for sharing. I pray God heal you and bless you to find true love and friends that will treat you with great respect. I have given up. Everyone has abused me I have met and its just like not worth trying anymore.

[@cMrob73]

My problem is needing others approval to feel what I do is good.

[@simiculebra]

I feel you! It comes to a point where we need to learn that making mistakes doesn't mean we are failures.

[@Hershey411]

I’m so mind blown! So let me share my story. First off I have no friends. I really don’t. And telling my personal business to people is something I don’t do. So a guy that I know at work we’ve been talking and hanging out a few times. For about a year. I told NOBODY. And as I stated before, I DO NOT tell anybody anything. So these past few months I’ve been noticing like he’d been acting different, but I didn’t know wtf happened. So I paid it no mind. So a few days ago I told him I was coming to see him. I went to see him and I’m thinking we’re cool. As soon as he seen me He immediately said “Aye, let me ask you something...” so I’m ready, I got comfortable and relaxed and was like “wasup?” He says “somebody said that you been going around telling people that we been hanging out and all this stuff” (That wasn’t a question but ok lol) so calmly I said “Where’d you get that from?” He says “You know who you talk to” not knowing I literally talk to nobody and especially about my personal life outside of work. When I tell you he swore I told somebody something he stood on it 100% I’m swearing to God, putting it on my life, on my mama and he still didn’t believe me. Come to find out he confided in someone and just in case it came to me he already had it set that I to blow the focus off him and make me think that I talk to someone so much that I might have forgotten I told them. And he’s literally holding a grudge against me for what he’s done. I didn’t know what gaslighting was until today this happened yesterday and I am mind blown. Now I just look at him as crazy. He has no clue that I enjoy learning about psychology smh. Jokes on him.

[@bethknight4342]

The most messed up part of that, is why was it such a big secret that you were hanging out together

[@Hershey411]

Beth Knight dame thing I wanna know. Smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Hershey411]

John Smithy No highly doubt that. He’s a big softy. Just a narcissistic player.

[@Hershey411]

Seraszea I have not heard from him every since and been doing everything not to run into him or hear from him. Thanks though

[@BethyKable]

Mizz Hershey He is a master manipulator....get rid of him.

[@amandabreen2054]

I really needed to hear this. It hurts to hear the truth specially when everything you said is on point. It took me 31 years to know I wasn't the problem. Having healthy boundaries is the only way to avoid the gaslighting. The pain is terrible when you are all you got. I've learned to start setting healthy boundaries because I made a vow to myself that no matter how hard life gets to just focus on one positive thing. It's better to focus on something positive then drowning your self in depression. That's why I try to be kind to every soul I meet because no body deserves to feel unloved and I would never want someone to feel the way that I did. Watching your videos are really helping me and I just want to say thank you for caring and sharing your knowledge!

[@Bar_Bar27]

I have everything you said. Been gaslighted my whole life since childhood

[@sandradibiaso7316]

Bullies in school gaslight us to avoid getting in trouble by the teacher. They will tell the teacher that we are lying about being picked on when we are being picked on.

[@montelo555]

:( this is me.

[@Monica-iq6wk]

Same here..

[@melissaburrows3211]

I really related with feeling like a weaker version of myself.

[@paulcooper5748]

Dont let them do it to you melissa.

[@Horseluvver]

I can now recognize when I'm being manipulated, but I dont know how to handle it. If I say anything, I hear 'when u point fingers three point back at you', or 'when u suspect someone it's because that's really how YOU are'. Even my sibs get over the top mad at me if I try to stand up for myself, bc I only started doing that slowly, a couple years after my divorce. No matter what, everyone ends up hating me. Srsly. Two ppl I thought were close friends paid me back money I had lent them but to get it I had to sign a paper they wrote up saying I would never contact them again. Omg. When so many ppl dont like u well u just want to know wtf is wrong with u, that's all. I'm quiet, easy going, and I've found that sometimes it's better to let some thing go bc it isnt worth a fight or hard feelings...it's just a 'thing'. I do know I only have one friend who is worth having...I've known her 30 years and she doesnt pull things on me or cause me confusion. I just avoid ppl.

[@pukljica]

Same here, only true relationship I have is with my two children, theyre everything to me, children are so pure&full of unconditional love..my primary family its toxic(narc.mom&codependend dad), brother who I love but he married a covert narcissist, thats why I try to avoid them as much as possible for my own peace of mind, but its not always easy, its like you said, they can say anything to me but when I just respond they all go mad on me, idk but people lots of the time see good people as week people cos they know we dont want to argue, we want peace and Just live our lives as free as possible, but they want their way and if we dont ride with them they just "throw us under the bus. Iam just tyred sometimes seeing all this bs around me, the world needs more love&authentic relationships, so people wouldnt feel so alone all the time, sometimes I feel more alone around some pipl that Iam ever when Iam by myself.. .much love&light🙏💗

[@tinahouston2575]

Same. I walked away from my entire family for the narcissistic abuse in the narcissistic family cult. I was told the same. Lots of cliches to help put me in my place as the scapegoat. My relatives are from the east coast too.

[@gpowellish1]

I was gaslighted by family , friends, my coworkers, and department heads at work.

[@lindaaguilar5858]

me too

[@saudaumunna1712]

gaslighting seems to be the standard these days

[@annoldham3018]

It's like the new plague. Everywhere.

[@saudaumunna1712]

@@annoldham3018 true! I walk around paranoid wondering who's the bad guy .

[@tomasotreasaigh111]

I hate to tell you this, but it is statistically almost impossible for EVERYONE to be gaslighting you. Its FAR more likely that you are either paranoid, an asshole or that you are gaslighting us.

[@elanabethfariss117]

I would tell my husband, "You're hurting me, lighten up, please." He'd always deny and say he never hurt me. He would scare me with his careless ways. When I addressed it he'd say he never lifted a hand to me physically, all the time I'm hearing, I want to hurt you, I want to rough you up, you used to like it. Ugh.

[@FaithFashionFinances]

I have been a victim of gaslighting countless times. Things would happen and people would try to convince me that they didnt, that I was crazy etc.

[@pattyfinnpadidiver]

Wow. Never heard this term gaslighting untill recently. In 2002 I "woke up" and realized one day that I wasn't the person that I used to be and the reason why was because the doubt my husband at that time had put into my brain about who I was and what I was (not) capable of. As soon as I vocalized that to him he began to physically abuse me. After putting him in jail for hitting me, I divorced him within a year. Our child is currently 19 and I was able to raise him with minimal to no communication with his father. I got out of that abusive relationship , I am stronger than I've ever been, and my son now is as well. He took my lead and makes healthy boundaries with everyone as a result of what he saw me do with my life. Even vocalizing his boundaries to his father and halting communication and relationship whenever his father became manipulative to him. I am so proud of the young man he has become. It wasn't easy to make those choices and live by them at the time, while it was all happening, but now that I'm on the other side and my son has grown up, and taken those skills into his own life, it was definitely worth it!💪We stand strong together!

[@BriBri82]

I can't begin to thank you enough for making this video. the first time I watched it, I had tears rolling down my face. I replayed it, with a pen and pad and went through each gaslighting sign and took down notes right to the very end. I'm sending you an abundance of gratitude. I needed to hear this today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 👏🙏💗

[@abclosius9166]

Thank you bunches for sharing. I'm a survivor of Domestic Violence (DM) . To put my kids and my safety 1st, we lived in a Women's and Children's shelter who specializes in helping survivors of Domestic Violence for nearly 2 months. The Women's shelter, I gained several friends and new insights. They helped my 3 younger kids. Extremely thankful. There's many resources out there to help women who's been physically assaulted by their husbands/boyfriends. There's hope. God makes all things new.

[@moedoesvlogs8723]

18 years later I am jist today realizing my mother in law is a covert narcissist. I feel so free now! It explains it all🙌🏼

[@maymelden]

I have family members that have Gas Lit me while I lived with my in-laws. And Now that I don't live with my in-laws I am finally finding ground to say No to going to events that cause me anxiety. When I have to be around these people , I choose to be extremely happy around them. They hate that. It is the biggest and best revenge to give someone like that. Be happy. Show them it didn't affect you.

[@judysoltow4474]

Absolutely right

[@ericmoss9864]

I have felt off my whole life. And I apologized for everything growing up. Even though I know I didn't do whatever it was i apologized for. I just wanted the yelling and tension to stop. And as I got older, I could never get my life together. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I've lived in a grandiose delusion. It kept me going. I always felt strangely off, especially at my brothers house. I'm finally seeing it, 2 brothers gaslighters. And I, being the oldest, was told to be there for them. But they were good covering it up with acting friendly. And have done secret criminal money making schemes. This has been long. I'm 62. I've lived an OK Life. Bobbing and weaving through it. But never getting anything career really going. I was care giving my mother the last six years of her life. She wanted me to have her condo. My brothers, of course, manipulated getting 2/3 ownership. I've had 2 heart attacks, an they are still trying to get me out. They don't care. All the gaslighting signs hit. I'm scared I'll never get it together, but I'm hopefully going to turn it around somehow. I just found you Julia, and I feel like you're talking to me. I'm going to keep watching your videos. Thank you for being there.

[@marvicseandomingo2640]

👍

[@dhemsey]

Eye opening video. Thank you so much. On Monday, I went to a mental health place for inpatient therapy and meds. Today is day 5. My therapist explained this foreign term gaslighting to me and I didn't know what it meant. So I'm researching it and came across your video. 20+years of having experienced this with my husband. I can't afford to leave and start my journey of living on my own just yet, and my 18 and 16 year old girls have also been manipulated into believing that I am worthless because I am disabled with 5 failed back surgeries and Major Depressive Disorder. Everything that happens is always my fault. My bed has been my safe place for years and years. I'm now 38 and want to get better. I'm an emotional wreck. He believes he is GOD and does no wrong...ever. I know that is just not true. He used to be physically abusive until he bit a chunk out of my leg when I was 22, I was pushed to have him go to jail because of it. He came out and hasn't touched me since. However, he has replaced the physical abuse with major mental and emotional abuse as well as tons of gaslighting. I used to be happy, helping everyone and anyone for that matter because I believe with my entire being that I have a huge heart, an empath (to my detriment), and I love giving, helping, listening. Basically, having said all of that, I just can't do life this way anymore so I got help. I start my meds today, and I pray the tools that I learn in inpatient therapy will help me. I have already learned so much in so little time! Thank you again for this video. Progress, not perfection...right?

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

I've been getting gaslighted all of my life by many people but I am working on boundaries and working in recognizing gaslighting....

[@imoutbye]

“Something just feels off but you can’t put your finger on it.” Amazing. That was me. I broke up with her twice because of that feeling. Than when she had the emotional meltdown down in front of me I felt like maybe I was over thinking it or reading in to things too much. Second guessing myself. So I apologized. We got married. My gut instinct was right. Ten years later. Hindsight 2020

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Ugh....hope you find peace......check out dads surviving divorce channel 🚩🚩🚩

[@simiculebra]

😔 I can relate, in my case it took 13 years and 2 years after our separation I still thought it was my fault, even though he cheated. Hindsight is a great and painful revealer.

[@anguskangus8222]

I just loved this, it totally confirmed my suspicions and made me realize I'm not paranoid.

[@helenhustad9197]

I was married to a malignant narcissist for 21 years and I struggle so much even though I've been out of the relationship for almost 11 years.

[@miriamb.3078]

That is brutal. My heart goes out to you. They are the absolute worst kind of abuser besides the psychopath.

[@ronilittle7028]

Please tell me how you got away from someone sooo scary...been too scared to try

[@LostinThought444]

I have been gaslit however, I’m solid in my self love and view of reality. I never felt like I was going crazy or second guessing myself or feeling like something was wrong with me. I always knew he was crazy and was incapable of truth or normal behavior. It is possible to be gaslit and not have these symptoms you’re describing. I did have that on edge feeling around him. But I am out now and feel amazing. Just gotta be strong minded and never ever fall for their manipulative bs...

[@Eg-jd9zt]

Yea I agree you can see if for what it is clearer. I usually will say “that is what you said” until they don’t have another option. I don’t let them escape or deflect very easily. They then crumble at that point

[@cookie4sunbeam]

Please pray for me. I have been through this my whole life...and I need to save money to get out and build a wall against these people.

[@barbarapowell5040]

Money gives the power of...choices. You may find it very difficult to save money around people like this because their "drill" doesn't work if you can escape...

[@tinahouston2575]

don't worry about money, find other resources to leave. I'm sure you feel isolated. Resources like battered women shelters comes to mind. It didn't work for me so much. How I escaped was I left my second and last husband. went back to my abusive family. I hooked up with an abusive ex, then I got discarded and I went to NYC from southern California. My son invited me to live with him and his family and it was them who encouraged me to reach out and meet people. I was isolating. I didn't want to be around people. I don't trust people. I set some boundaries which was new to me. I actually met a man who fit those must have qualities and the must not have qualities. This person became my support system. the one and only person to help me. It just takes one person to help you. He helped me get help. but escaping first is necessary. I was trying to save money too but he would search the house and find any stash of money I had and my ex would take it. I bought a small bag that hangs around my neck like a medicine bag. I took all the stuff out of it and I hid my money in there. When I took a shower, I'd hide the bag with the tiny folded money inside between the towels. he would come in and look for that bag because he knew I had money it it but he couldn't get it from around my neck. He demanded the $50 he knew I had in my pocket but the $80 in my bag he never got. The money I saved was never enough. I needed help. You can call a woman's shelter and tell them your situation and ask if they know of what resources might be available to you. I know that is hit and miss but it's a place to start.

[@metalbelles3662]

Money won't save you from gaslighter. You need to work on yourself.

[@cookie4sunbeam]

@@metalbelles3662 lol! I think I wrote the rason why I need money. Money could help me build a strong wall against them.

[@brianloftus4919]

Trusting one's memory. That is such a great point.

[@genesisrodriguez6724]

I cannot believe this was happening to me. I cried watching this because every symptom you mentioned happened to me. I stopped that relationship but now dealing with depression after the breakup.

[@sandradibiaso7316]

These narcissists get us to fall in love with them by being overly charming and sweet so it will be easier for them to manipulate us by gaslighting us. We, in turn, have tremendous depressed thoughts when we leave them or get broken up by them.

[@princesslamour4659]

I totally understand ❤️. I’m not the only one 😭

[@jaquelineeediaz5940]

I hope you’re doing fine , also hope you didn’t go back to that asshole !! You are worth it ❤️❤️❤️

[@atravelerofbothtimespace4172]

Keep you're head up .god bless

[@zerofuks416]

So true! But we need to stop blaming ourselves for everything. We need to start loving ourselves more than ever so we can be with someone better for the future

[@Travelingmotherof4]

Is gaslighting when someone says something insensitive and you react. Then that person says you’re too sensitive?

[@deidrajones6069]

Yes “too sensitive” ..denies ever saying it..”u misheard” etc...

[@toom8rs15]

Try responding instead of reacting.

[@rpmcmurphey927]

Brandy J. One of the many forms, YES.

[@justinrussell1930]

gaslighting is like when someone walks by you and whispers "they're going to kill you" and then when you confront them about it, they're like, "what are you talking about? i never said anything to you" and then they will act like they care about you. two seconds later, they steal your charger to your phone but claim they never seen it even though you remember leaving it on your table. you go out and buy a new one and when you return back home, well look at that...your charger is back on the table AFTER you already opened the new one. when you ask about it, they tell you "it was sitting there the whole time, you mustve overlooked it" then proceed to move your house keys from the hook to into a drawer and after frantically looking for them they claim that they seen you put it in the drawer, if you confront them and tell them, no they were hanging up, they ask calmly and "sincerely" mind you, "are you feeling okay? you seem a little paranoid love"

[@rpmcmurphey927]

Brandy J. That's only the beginning of the mental fuckery-

[@lasonyasuttle6839]

I've been gaslighted by my parents for 33 years (1986-2019).

[@nylaspeaks7272]

La Sonya Suttle I know it might be hard but go no contact or limit contact

[@GaryPotocki82]

1982-2019

[@MrStr8den]

..1965 to 2019, my father! Edit: unfortunately the tw#t is still going strong at 85 years of age

[@dazzlingdeb8427]

Was gaslit by my mom. Set up a life-pattern. But actually I was blamed for everything. I didn’t necessarily feel that it was all my fault. But I was TOLD it was all my fault.

[@lizzyale9904]

Yes went thru that as well. I still feel everything that goes wrong or that happens is my fault. Trying to change tho.

[@arnie3631]

Same with me

[@reid.mp3]

my brothers been telling me everything’s my fault since i could remember. always believed him even tho it made no sense. just found out what gaslighting is and it could not be more spot on to him.

[@dazzlingdeb8427]

maybe reid It really helps to understand the dynamics. Therapy has also helped me quite a lot too.

[@dazzlingdeb8427]

ELIZABETH PORTER I understand what you mean. I turned myself inside out trying to please my husband-he who could never be pleased, no matter who he was with. You can’t ever please narcissists. Therapy helped me see the reality of the situation(s) and that basically some of these people were sick, pathetic and weak. Once you develop a strong sense of self, you’ll find that their bullsh*t no longer works.

[@Enoughalready20237]

She’s so authentic. It helps me trust that she’s doing her videos for the greater good, not for money.

[@69mercurycyclone44]

WOW! It was scary how many of the signs that became clear as you explained them. I only clicked on to get the definition of the term gaslighting and was amazed how so many fit what I am experiencing in my life even at my age. Thank you for this video! I have subscribed and am about to watch the rest.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you for watching and it's great to connect wth you! :-)

[@donnawallace2143]

I. Stay away from people like that

[@thegigadykid1]

I lived with an aunt like this I cant stand narccist I want to kill them all

[@brownnomad6805]

I was crying while watching the video. It has happened to me as well and recently broke up with my EX gf that did this to me... Anybody who shares a similar experience perhaps we can talk while we recover?

[@HindsightFPV]

Hope you're doing better man .

[@mwihaki7410]

@brownnomad I hope you got better

[@tinahouston2575]

I know it's been a year for you and I've been on the healing track since I went no contact in 2016. My abusers were my family. I'm still available for some conversation. I know you've probably come far too. :) My boyfriend has been my biggest support throughout the whole thing. Support is what we all need.

[@tullyb8766]

I told my partner the other night that he gaslights me and tonight he asked me what it meant so I said look it up and he put this video on. I was crying the whole time through this video. But still he didn’t say anything to me. Hopefully from watching this he realises.

[@simiculebra]

It's a hard reality to accept, especially because the person doing it was supposed to have your back, and be the one who you can be vulnerable with, and all along they took advantage of that vulnerability. It's a painful process, but there's healing at the other end. Hope you are doing better a yeat after.

[@j.goodie522]

Ive finally understand what I was going through with my sister..she is a narc and she gaslight me all the time...no more...I set my boundaries and stop thinking it's all my fault and leave her thinking I don't know what she's doing...I'm now aware and no longer feeling something is wrong with me...

[@sharronbeal1468]

I didn't realize how toxic and how widespread the abuse was... and that this has been going on my entire life. Time to start digging myself out

[@kilipaki87oritahiti]

Thank you for this! Your videos are so helpful and educational. I am battling depression due to bullying, injuries, and a bad childhood, and now as an adult at age 30, I suffer from anxiety, depression, paranoia, and being suicidal. This made so sense because the depression has changed me so much, and not for the better. I have been emotionally, physiology, and verbally abused by family and “friends” for years. Always putting me down, calling me weak, dumb etc. The depression was just the drop, and my mind and body couldn’t take it anymore.

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm so sorry to hear you have been treated with so much cruelty in your life by people who were supposed to be there for you - that is really not okay. Sending you love and hugs Gille87.

[@puissantpapillion]

Don't give up- YOU Have an amazing gift worth exploring - why do I say that, because each of us birthed have been to share our particular gifts which we are here to share. Find yours, it could be as simple as finding your happiness. Nothing huge and yet finding your happiness would be a huge gift to share with yourself and others-

[@sparkydoes]

keep holding on to your light and working on you.Good luck and much love in your journey.

[@tayogreatajibade3830]

God will be ur light ur guide ur will n ur way Keep shining🌟

[@SuperQdaddy]

get a job and a life..you won't be depressed..have passions ..hobbies etc..

[@TheCoupe06]

Hallelujah! The "lights" are coming on! The Lord bless you for all the good you're doing!

[@sandylsmith1860]

This is my whole life. Thank you for explaining this so I can recognize, and end, the cycle.

[@AaronBuhler-q8b]

Thank you Julia, I know you are intelligent and your information is wonderful and thanks again for this and also about boundaries, too. Aaron.

[@barbaraspradlin270]

Felt a majority of these sadly! Healing and limited contact with the source makes such a huge difference!

[@jessxo8591]

I've definitely been gas lit by my own damn parents :( So glad they are out of my life.

[@moontrucker8939]

My precious daughter-in-law's parents are all toxic ppl. I think they were brought up in abusive homes.

[@pukljica]

Omg your free, hope some day I will join you dear! 🙏🥰💗

[@metalbelles3662]

Me too by my mother all my life and the others. It can really destroy you and your life if you are not aware.

[@angiehalsmer9442]

I knew that I had experienced gas lighting, but I hadn’t realized how much of how I feel today was rooted from it. It’s a little comforting to hear! I wonder if there’s anything that can be done to reverse the effects of it.

[@juliakristinamah]

It absolutely can be reversed by doing some deep soul work to get to know and connect with your true self under all the lies.

[@chiranjitdas6436]

Don't worry u just need to be strong to smash their manipulative trait

[@andyrandle690]

Jeez....do you have a hidden camera in my house or something? SPOT ON!

[@naahfam]

When I was with my ex, I always questioned why I was hypersensitive... Like, why can't I just "act right"? Why am I always bothered while they're carrying on like it's a regular day? Why do I always feel alone? Something about that relationship was off but I could never place a finger on it, so I blamed myself a lot and it lead to years of emotional suppression and inner turmoil. Lesson learned: when you know, you know and the sooner you leave, the better.

[@Yesindeed-v5m]

I am surprised I have never heard of gaslightning until now. I'm 27 y/o male and went through some emotional bullshit as a kid. I don't like to dwell on it because everyone goes through stuff, but I think it really messed with me because I made some really stupid decisions later in life that I feel wouldn't have happened if I just knew how to stand up for myself better as a kid. I can relate 100% to all the symptoms you described, just thinking about this person makes my hair stand up and really developed my cruel side so I can defend myself. I don't think the guy is even totally conscious of it; not that that's any excuse...in any case, I stood up to him recently and he apologized for some of it. Don't let people manipulate you! Be confident in your words; and if you say something stupid, you learn, and try the next time to be better. People will walk all over you unless you make yourself known!

[@curtistinemiller1560]

I LIKE THE WAY YOU BREAK IT DOWN.THANK YOU!...

[@david7402]

Wow! Exactly on the mark! Basically, I keep feeling like people are trying to keep me off balance and distracted. Constant attempts to argue about meaningless things. Just pointless arguments, in which people try bating me into, but there's no point.

[@Jackgritty28]

I'm so cool, I never need to argue!

[@mariamayub212]

This is been the story of my life since I was a child. Thank you so much for making this video and I will definitely check out more about your community! It's so hard for me to stand up for myself because of lifelong learning that I was not allowed to do that. All psychological and terrible :-(

[@meghaparamatmuni741]

I have been gaslighted for 18 years with emotional abuse and mental trauma and labeling me as lier and cause of problems in others but in reality it is they are the problems. Last 7 years have been really hard on me yet I am greatfull of it for showing me the brutal reality of people around me.

[@vickiewickie3817]

I am so happy to have found you here! I am a 64 years young woman with an older sister who unbeknownst to me has been gaslighting me for years! This past weekend was a family reunion between siblings and their family(only 11 people total) and I stayed at my sisters home which has always been uncomfortable. I never want to go back and now I know why. Looking forward to your helpful videos!

[@rosslee1886]

I just realized I been gaslighted by most of my family...most of my life

[@juneplumfood4432]

Didn’t even realise what was happening! Thanks for showing me!

[@faithforever6694]

So he does things and i notice it and i mention it to him.. and he twists it and somehow makes me believe im imagining it or or im crazy.. tells me i need to see a doctor and that i seem to think everyone is against me! I am simply aware of everyones bullshit and they dont like when i ll them out on it. Its time for me to leave, ive got enough strength now. Just need a plan that will help me leave this relationship without any drama as he always manages to talk me round then treats me same way.. he lies constantly and acts shady. I have just recovered from the anxiety and wieght loss and mentally im ready to walk. This video helped me confirm what i already know thankyou

[@nataliecruz316]

"Acknowledging"that the relationship is dysfunctional is the first step. Glad you realized it, and can now act. Always put yourself first, Love Yourself enough to know when to walk away.YOU ARE WORTH IT!

[@jackrobins1221]

Good for u

[@anneroarty6473]

I just want yoj to know every word you said i can relate to it. I put up with gaslighting for 40 years. I have now decided to go for divorce. It was the higher power that gave me the strength. It is like ten sacks have left my back. Praise God. My advise is go now but quietly.

[@naahfam]

I was definitely gaslit by a former significant other and didn't realize it until I moved away and back into my own home. I literally exhaled a huge sigh of relief when I shut the door to MY house and realized they weren't there. Controlling, manipulative, believes they're superior, never accepts responsibility for any wrongdoing (and never thinks anything they do is actually wrong). When we met, I was confident, lively, and fun to be around, but somehow I lost that and started second guessing everything. Even though I realized something about me was "off" a little bit into our relationship and attempted to regain my sense of self, they called me out on it and made it seem like I was wrong for needing independence. I swear they wanted to monopolize everything about me. My lifestyle isn't what it was when we were together, but that's okay. I trust myself again, and I trust that I'll regain everything that was lost. I have inner (and outer) peace now.

[@coraluru3091]

When I finally knew about this and understood it was what was happening to me, I started taping our conversations, if for nothing else, to prove to myself that i wasn’t going crazy. Worst form of abuse. It’s horrible.

[@donnacleary6173]

This shed a lot of light on my past. Thank you so much. Fitting all the pieces together.

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm so grateful you found it useful!

[@alyssamartinez8228]

yes my ex was gaslighting me sent me to a crazy hospital luckily people had sympathy for me and was able to spot it when i couldnt

[@elizabethdevries8028]

I feel like a shell of myself.

[@JaeLove04]

My goodness I felt this.

[@angelamcmillen8621]

I'm in just complete shattered brokenness that I'm crying hysterically feeling so hurt, broken, lost and utterly hollow and alone right now after watching this video. That from the first word spoken to barley making it to the end the amount of hurt and tears that's flooded me to the point I can barley take it has been so much to bare I can hardly stand it. Even though I am hurting and feeling so overwhelmed with sorrow and pain I feel a bit of hope starting to begin in my soul. To finally think u may understand what's wrong with me or to feel I can finally understand and for it to be ok to let this all out and that someone understands how I feel and to know they get it is liberating. As you spoke I just stared into ur eyes beging for u to save me. For I need help beyond words can say. To the point of everyday it's become such a battle to make it to see the tomorrow's. I just want to give up, I want it all to stop, I just want to be done, I can't do this anymore. I can't hurt like this and make it and yet I feel I've been given a life line right now to hang onto. I thank u so much from the depths of my soul for being u and making the video. For I believe u just saved my life. May u be blessed and showered with all ur heart needs and desires for saving me!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!

[@con2mms2000]

Your memory can be a great weapon against gaslighters. No matter who much they say to you "that didn't happened". If your sure of what you remember, trust it.

[@iys6890]

Keep your inner strength! Empaths are super intelligent that way!

[@jecssyjimenez5856]

The topic brought me into tears 😢

[@kristyhughes3146]

Have I ever experienced this? You've pretty much described my childhood.

[@miriamschell8725]

I can see my old self in all those signs and im so happy and proud that ive overcome some of them. Im still not completely fine bc im still living with this person and i cant leave for the next couple of years(im still a student). But i realized a while ago that something just wasnt right and researched about this topic. Now im still feeling uneasy and unsafe but im no longer thinking that its all my fault.

[@eleanormcdonald615]

This is me. I have felt this way all of my life. It 's like you have looked into my life and you are talking about me.

[@andrewvoya5234]

Thank you Julia. I am now 51, and have a brother three years older with schizophrenia. As kids he would make my life a living hell, he still tries to. It’s through people’s helpful advice ( like your own advice in this video) that has helped me keep it together. I owe a lot to good people, I want to just say a thank you for your advice, and whether someone agrees with you or not is irrelevant so long as it helps just some ONE. That’s huge ! Great video I’m subscribing 😊

[@GPrince816]

Is this an example of gaslighting? I had a supervisor who would do the following: She used to send me lots of emails that implied she told me something that she did not really tell me. They would go something like this : "I am not seeing that you have done this thing. Remember how we talked about that? Do we need to revisit this?" Believe me if I KNEW that something had to be done I would have done it and been thorough about it. A lot of those times when she sent me those emails, in my mind I felt like she never really told me that the thing that she wanted to be done needed to be done. She always claimed in an email that she told me verbally in the past to execute the task that was not complete, but never put it in writing that she wanted that task complete. I always felt like I was made to feel crazy and guilty about not doing the task I did not know I was supposed to do.

[@OviLVR8]

What you should have learned is to always ask for important matters to be sent to your email so you don't forget to do it. Also, start documenting when this happens so you have something to refer back to later. I have a whole external USB i have called "COVER MY ASS"

[@MissMelissa04]

Sometimes this is done when they're trying to compile a record of poor performance so that you can be legitimately fired without being able to claim unemployment. Definitely ask to have your tasks and assignments in writing if you see this happening and reply to those emails asking for clarification of time and place when the first request was made so that you can pinpoint where the disconnect is if she is indeed telling the truth. I would respond in an apologetic manner but also offer some suggestions to alleviate this problem in the future.

[@warriorwoman432hz]

Keep a daily record of everything you do, every person you talk to, every email you send or respond to, etc., and keep it visible. Once she sees you are documenting everything, she will stop doing that particular thing. However, a narcissist has a thousand tricks in their bag and you are just one of a long line of victims. Best be looking for work elsewhere.

[@roberteller2599]

I feel that I could never talk to anybody about what I have experienced at the hands of a woman I thought I knew and trusted. I was on the edge of actually letting her talk me into killing myself. "might as well do the world a favor do nobody else has to put up with your worthless excuse of a man" everyday for over a year untill I just walked out with nothing but a few clothes and no direction. And scared as hell because I believed that everybody knew I was less than and I couldn't make decisions for myself I almost turned back when I got to the end of the block. Keep in mind I'm 50 and I've had my own business oversaw the day to day operations and kept financial records to withstand an audit drove semi truck and scheduled pickups and deliveriex. Anyway I was so surprised one day that I could breathe without her there. Totally lost. Carried it and still do some of it but youtube and people like you have given me the strength to not go back. Thank you. It's good to finally be able to tell someone who understands.#JuliaKristina

[@familywarriorproject5145]

Big green I will be following your lead im in a very similar situation of 14 years with 3 sons with this person but not married because I always knew something was wrong but did not have the knowledge needed to figure it out, in my quest to do better and be better for her led me here, I feel so studid that that it took me this long "im 38" to find out that people feed on other people that dont know any better and are always told to suck it up and be a man. Societal brainwashing. Thanks man I needed to hear your story

[@manichairdo6346]

@@familywarriorproject5145 You're not stupid. Just unaware or was uninformed. It was only through videos I realised I had folk like that in my life. HAD...ahaaaa. Went no contact with the last one...in agreement with my children and grandson. We don't want this seeping through generational crap. We all went no contact and feel wonderful.

[@catherined6399]

This comfort me so much!!! Every thought/self perception you describe happened to me after an experience with gaslighting!

[@juliakristinamah]

So so glad it connected with you Catherine.

[@afrolocsista8889]

I’m glad I clicked on this video. I’ve been feeling like I’ve someone in my life has been gaslighting me. Then I realized I’ve been gaslighted most of my life by different family members and friends. I don’t trust people at all. I can relate to the video 100%.

[@caramelunicorn8023]

I am fortunate not to have experienced gaslighting lately, but I do think i experienced this a few times when i was growing up, many people gaslighted me, even friends and family.

[@purpleangelwings6579]

Lord God ....this has opened my eyes to the people in my life....now i understand why the Lord has remove me drom those people..... WOW this is amazing !!!! Thank you

[@purpleangelwings6579]

@Ryan Schafer ... Some of those Jesus has removed from my life are family....it was hard at first because i kept thinking it just had to be something i did wrong....however over several month period the Lord would speak to my heart telling me that it was to protect me that they are toxic people.....and ya know what ...because the Lord is faithful and true ...He took the place of those people He blocked from my life....i pray for them and still love them....its just that i see now how that poison had made me toxic.....the cycle had to stop somewhere and im greatful it happened with me because it saved me from repeating those same mistakes with my own children ....

[@aliciascat9433]

You have removed these people from your life because you are smart, it’s got nothing to do with the ‘Lord.’ Give yourself credit.

[@TheShospitali]

when someone tries to play these games with me I get pissed off & open up a can of whoop a$$

[@Ok.WhatsYourPoint_]

😂 exactly

[@calideeholmes6822]

TheShospitali AMEN?! ;+D

[@courtni2483]

Haha this made me laugh

[@michellebear3173]

This reminds me of a frenemy that she was so unhealthy manipulative and toxic jealous she has to make problems for me I could go down the list that I had to finally cut her out of my life to save myself. This was very informative thank you.😀😏

[@LyricsCrashx3]

I just want to say thank you SO much for opening my eyes. To make a long story short, I knew my parents were abusive but was constantly denying it. They acted like they had changed but really didn't. They were gaslighting me, denying the abuse, and making me question myself. No longer do I question myself after seeing this video. I realize all my memories are real. Thank you so much. I am now homeless because of them for a second time but will get out of this situation somehow with the help of my care coordinator and case manager.

[@oliviaaloe9069]

Dang this really hit. I blocked my friend last week from everything. And now that I don't engage with her at all, I my eyes are so clear. But the depth, the depth of it all. She was never a friend. Thank you for uploading this video.