What is it like having Deaf parents? (CODA)

With the movie CODA, coming out, I thought it would be interesting to share my experience growing up with Deaf parents.
#CODA #SignLanguage #ASL

[@liafiol-matta2736]

Thank you so much for your candor and honesty in sharing your story as a CODA. I was moved to my core. I respect and value your experience.

[@signlanguagepractice]

Super kind of you to say. I was/am very blessed to have Deaf parents.

[@mr.jceniza]

Thanks for sharing! I luv hearing your story… I’m currently learning ASL and I’ve had the pleasure of working with a deaf kid. And I must say… ASL is an awesome language. There’s so much nuance and intuitiveness with it. I love it! Your videos are helpful for us- people learning. I appreciate you, and more blessings to you and your family! Keep posting videos 😁

[@signlanguagepractice]

Super kind of you. Thanks for the support

[@jacobmorrise1664]

This was a great video. So great to hear your experiences and perspective. Thank you.

[@signlanguagepractice]

Let me know when you want to teach the kids some sign!

[@language801]

You made me cry! Absolutely loved this video. Thank you for sharing your experiences with your parents. Miss you and the fam!

[@signlanguagepractice]

What up Michael! Thanks for watching. Pretty personal stuff.

[@tinamoore338]

Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. And for helping all of us to learn your language its so beautiful. Thank you again.

[@signlanguagepractice]

Incredibly rich language and culture.

[@LL33934]

I agree with the others... thank you for sharing your special story!! I LOVE the idea of hugging someone with all of the emotion in your heart - the kind of hugs you described by your parent’s friends who were also deaf.

[@signlanguagepractice]

best kind of hugs

[@riverfallyeshua7985]

I loved hearing your story...it is truly touching me. Myself as a Deaf parents..I have two hearing children. We are truly blessed to have one other. We have one language...one voice! God bless you (*

[@signlanguagepractice]

Congratulations! My parents Deafness blessed my life.

[@ruthgoebel723]

Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️

[@signlanguagepractice]

Thanks for watching. It really does mean a lot to me.

[@addisenjohnsen4423]

Thanks for sharing, Stan! The world needs more of this type of content.

[@signlanguagepractice]

appreciate you watching!

[@petersuozzo1227]

We do need a lot more of this sort of content.

[@susanhironakafieldwork5218]

Thank you for sharing about your parents with all of us.

[@signlanguagepractice]

Thanks for watching.

[@user-eu9xh9ms2p]

Oh God! Everything is so relatable! I dont know why I cried while watching your whole video...I had flashbacks from my childhood. Thank you for sharing your stories. ❤

[@signlanguagepractice]

I hope that is a good thing!!! It is a unique childhood to be sure.

[@609Georgiana]

the rest of society just doesn't compare.... it's hard to find a fit that feels like home out here. your stories tugged at my heart strings and make me thankful for my unique place in this world as a coda. nice to know others share this space with me, it's not been easy at all, but i can't imagine it any other way. thanks again for sharing!

[@signlanguagepractice]

I am grateful to know people who "get" it. Have to be there and done that to understand

[@609Georgiana]

@@signlanguagepractice I appreciate your channel, and the strength it takes to tell these stories. I’m not there yet.

[@markpool1321]

I appreciated your coda stories, your honesty and your obvious love and loyalty to your parents!

[@signlanguagepractice]

Thank you. So fortunate to have had the parents and the experience

[@jeannettewaite3277]

Thank you for your video, so many tender CODA experiences that sound similar🤟, I love to hear other CODA's stories. I too am very blessed to have loving Deaf Parents that I love so much!

[@signlanguagepractice]

Kind of crazy being a CODA...sometimes it feels like I've lived between two worlds...Hearing and Deaf

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@signlanguagepractice Very much agreed.

[@tomleishman3930]

Your story sounds so familiar, thank you for making this video

[@signlanguagepractice]

Appreciate you watching!!

[@sonicoda3307]

Omg… I laughed so hard when you explained how deaf/K/CODA gatherings would go on…and…on… My family’s inside joke/sign when I was an impatient 5-12 year old asking “when are we going home?” And my parents would say “soon” and us K/CODAs would automatically know that “soon” at a deaf gathering literally meant 1-2 hours…

[@signlanguagepractice]

100% and sometimes lucky if it was as soon as 1-2 hours! As an adult, I miss those gatherings. I miss the physical touch of the Deaf community. We would show up and the bear hugs...miss those.

[@petersuozzo1227]

My joke with my parents was: Deaf or hearing hours?

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@signlanguagepractice Same here. I feel as though a HUGE part of my life has been ripped away, less so now, when COVID restrictions were at their harshest. But I thought that the Deaf world was a significant part of my life before and this same contact that you describe helps me realize just how much it is a part of my identity. Thank you.

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@signlanguagepractice PS: Trying to explain to hearing peoples, who genuinely inquire, how there's an additional Deaf culture seems to confuse hearing until I can occasionally convince some to try to experience the encounters first hand.

[@susanmine]

I am an only hearing child of low functioning deaf parents. For me it wasn't sunshine and roses. I always felt used I was their own personal interpreter for my parents to communicate with hearing people who didn't know sign language.i was always bullied in school because of my parents. I have told my parents numerous times they should have never had me!! My parents should have never had a child

[@bonnieashlock2158]

Thank you so much for your wonderful testimony very touching I'm 55 years old now but when I was in the 5th grade our school started having non hearing children and I was a blessed one they picked to help with the deaf children at the end of my 5th grad they gave me an award and a small plack for their appreciation. I was just in awe of being a part of such a beautiful blessed time I had with them children helping them kid's made a huge amount of respect for the none hearing I'm in ASL classes now I believe it will help me in my Ministry God bless you and your family

[@signlanguagepractice]

Fascinating to see how our lives circle back to opportunities to serve and make a difference

[@petersuozzo1227]

Just found you. Looks like we have many of the same (CODA) experiences. Looks like you loved your parents as much as me and mine. I knew growing up how lucky I was based on your description of grandpop not signing - I was truly at an advantage there. Unfortunately, when my parents went to school, it was the (name of school) for the Deaf and Dumb. Things have a long way to go, but the progress even in my life time has been amazing.

[@signlanguagepractice]

Yep. I remember more than one incident correcting other kids and adults that used the word "dumb" to describe my parents deafness. Agree with "long way to go". Some real challenges still persist around education and employment opportunities.

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@signlanguagepractice being the oldest hearing of my siblings, 2 of us 3 were hearing. My grandparents signed as Deafness runs in our family. You sort of touched on it in your video, but if people ask my heritage, I have one answer. When people ask about how I identify or my culture, I need to make sure that people understand that I identify culturally as Deaf. I’ll add that education is still so sad and as good as it is (relative to history), still needs a lot more to come.

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@signlanguagepractice Question: did you have Deaf siblings? I was the only one that was hearing (1 is HH). And did you also wish that you could go to the Deaf school too? I remember wishing that I could attend the Deaf school.

[@sonicoda3307]

@@petersuozzo1227 Sorry to jump in mid-conversation… I am an only hearing child to a fully deaf mother and HH father. My mom would mention that she thought I would be more at home at the deaf school. I never did attend though.

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@sonicoda3307 I invite the interruption. I found that slowly, sort of almost experimental like, they are finally letting first generation CODA's attend in certain jurisdictions. I would have died for the oppurtunity. I so badly wanted to attend, myself, growing up as a child.

[@erietgo3]

Thank you! I am a CODA too.

[@signlanguagepractice]

You are welcome. I appreciate you watching.

[@petersuozzo1227]

CODA too: Just not as many of us as I thought there’d be finding you here.

[@cynthybs9081]

ThnxQ so much for sharing life experience with us. I truly a pluses you. Mom a single mom with deaf and sick daughter. It’s very challenging, especially when u have other childrens with hearing. My parents helped a lot but I wish I could do more or learn more. Trying to wrk pay bills balances responding with deaf children needs. Especially physically, emotional and sicknesses on top. Was very difficult. But I managed to get through. Now she’s grown still especial need. But managed to live in a group home. Be with their friends. As mom we’re & parent we not stop worried no matter how old they’re.but just stand by support when ever she Ned you. Thnxs god for technology & google eats now I learned a lot more. Find lot of resources. Your story very touched. I grately appreciated every lessons & news sign by learning from u. God bless you & your family. Keep on shining to the world. Touching life around the globe.

[@signlanguagepractice]

Wow you have had some challenges! Thanks for watching.

[@mercygrace.]

Im not sure why the Lord has instructed me to learn ASL but when i hear/watch stories like this it gives me strength to continue to practice/learn. One day it'll be revealed to me and I'll be happy i pressed on. Thank you for sharing your story 🙏

[@signlanguagepractice]

Our talents are like gifts at Christmas. We’re thrilled and excited to open, learn and get busy developing them.

[@mercygrace.]

@@signlanguagepractice 🎁 INDEED!

[@suzpel1]

so glad you are happy that you are a coda - I have deaf siblings - parents hearing - my parents in the 50s and 60s were told by "experts" to never sign with my brothers, were told it would be bad for them - it became clear that this was not a good path for my brothers and they went to Deaf Schools including Gallaudet - thank goodness! but we as a family did not sign well which is too bad - I had aunts and uncle that were deaf and I loved visiting them - and yes very different for the older generation - no one in the family back then learned to sign, it was not a thing that was considered

[@signlanguagepractice]

Thanks Suzanne for your feedback. Every family has unique dynamics...no two alike. Bit unusual that you had hearing parents and Deaf Uncle and Aunt.

[@staciebanks7935]

Im watching your videos and showing them to my kids. Parents knew when I was born that Id be deaf in my lifetime. I was born HOH and then their smoking habits didnt care (I was born in 1997) so smoking in the house was normal and that obviously made me have chronic ear infections I still have today. They didnt learn sign or teach it to me. My mom had one bff online (back when the normal computer was those block computers and meetme was myyearbook) who was born deaf. Still didnt learn or teach it to me(regret it now obviously) so Im on the very end of my hearing jouney (im also autistic as is my two children who are 3 and 4) their first words were signs. They go to an online preschool that is PSE based. So its very good to hear some good stories. I know sign at a lil bit farther than a beginner level. I'm on my 4th course of asl so I'm doing my job to learn about the community and teach my kids. My son has speach problems(i did as well until 6th grade and people notice that my voice is changing in the last year) and has selective mutism and goes non verbal as do i when we shut down etc. I dont know, I enjoy hearing positive feedback like this. My son often gets in trouble for growling and hitting things but I cant hear it so yeah I'm sure it makes since lol

[@staciebanks7935]

Lol okay I also took advantage as a child of my own hearing loss. When my parents would argue, go in my room and blast music and I could only feel the vibration of things being exchanged etc in the other room and also another example is when my parents would get onto me I would look at the floor and not even try to lip read and be oblivious and it would make them SO angry lol. xD

[@signlanguagepractice]

Really hard as parents to know what to do. So many different opinions. Congrats on learning how to sign.

[@JessicaNiles]

Well I didn't expect to get struck with tears over here!

[@signlanguagepractice]

I’ll assume that is a good thing!

[@sonicoda3307]

I have a question to ask you, maybe you could make a video about it… My dad is the only deaf member of his side of the family and my mom was the only deaf member of her side of the family… I have come to dread extended family gatherings… Sorry I’m writing a novel here… my dad and his dad (my grandfather) would speak to each other EXCLUSIVELY thru pen and paper…I’ll never forget the exact brand and type of paper they would religiously use… I can’t thank you enough for making this video… On a number of occasions I had to catch myself from saying/signing “omg…YES! That! THAT!! Ok I’m done typing for now… !,,!, ,!,,!

[@signlanguagepractice]

This is a tough one. My Grandfather never learned to sign. In order for them to talk to each other...they had to use me. Dad never talked about it until Grandfather passed. Crushing and isolating. Yeah, the family gatherings were tough especially when, as the CODA, you had to interpret everything.

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@signlanguagepractice I’ve seen it so often too.

[@signlanguagepractice]

@@petersuozzo1227 Both of us have been there and done that

[@petersuozzo1227]

@@signlanguagepractice so sad. Even yo this day, it brings up negative emotion.

[@winros]

I'm a CODA It was so hard growing up with parents that were DEAF!! My siblings and I always felt as though we were the parents.✌️🤟

[@signlanguagepractice]

100% get that. Everyone's journey is unique. Looking back does it feel different?

[@winros]

@@signlanguagepractice What do you mean looking back doesn't feel different?✌️

[@signlanguagepractice]

Sorry...to put it another way do you still feel that way now? Over the years, my perspective on some thing has changed @@winros

[@winros]

@signlanguagepractice Absolutely. There were other issues that made me feel that way. If it was just their Deafness however, it wasn't.✌️

[@GeoNeoFilmProductions]

Hi im Joshua and i went fully deaf sunday and could use advice i got covid six times and i was born deaf/hard of hearing and that covid caused my go fully deaf and memory loss so having to relearn some signs i lost and my father was deaf full and he was who taught me sign as well as deaf school but problem is i lost a lot but will be able to learn what lost?

[@signlanguagepractice]

Wow, Joshua...that is a challenge. Of course you can learn what was lost. There are many channels on KZbin that have excellent teachers. You may also want to try a local community college and see if they have an ASL class. Good luck!

[@GeoNeoFilmProductions]

@@signlanguagepractice They have no ASL Classes in my area but my deaf father taught me to never give up so i will get it back.. But me losing my hear was no problem as i know ASL and my father would be so happy as most of fathers side of the family were deaf including my son who is deaf and my deaf son was so happy finding out sunday he came over and hugged me so much with joy of going deaf ...so i can live with it very much and thank goodness for captions on this video and your story touches my heart as my deaf father was a very awesome dad and you would have love him and he was a preacher too and im hoping my coming grandson is deaf too. The only drawback now is my deaf Uncle who i live with i can't translate for him anymore the same way now i can voice no problem but with no hearing now there are no ASL interpreters for 60 miles so the fun part is trying to read lips from hearing people how fun that is but God will get me through and hope one day we can video chat love to sign to anyone and would even for you.. i love all deaf in this world!.. i wish i could have meet your parents they sound really cool

[@nonni139]

You can only speak for yourself when you say "it's a blessing" to have deaf parents, that it's a "good thing". Because for many others, it is not. I know children who grew up with deaf parents with mental disorders, personality disorders and with expectations for the children to know better and be adults in the family of teachers, relatives and the society. For these children, growing up in these circumstances has not been fun. Growing up with parents without social status does a lot for the children's self-confidence. The parents may lack a lot of parenting skills and they may also have learning difficulties. Additionally, the parent may not be able to search for information or understand information. They may not be able to protect their children. So no it is not always a blessing to be a CODA. On the contrary.

[@signlanguagepractice]

Of course, I was speaking strictly for myself. I have friends and family and their CODA experience is as different as they are. The same is true of every child...each one's life is unique to them

[@cuponchip1907]

He said like 6 times IN HIS EXPERIENCE.