What Is Spiritual Abuse? & Open Discussion

[@ebonieharrell3791]

Your ministry is such a blessing! For those of us who were born into these organizations it is so strengthening to turn here when we have moments of guilt or doubt that “maybe they were right”. God bless you.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

I think we have all had those moments, I know I did, of second-guessing. I wrote a letter to my old pastor and I re-read it from time to time to remind myself just how necessary it was to get out! There is so much more happiness and joy when you are not being controlled by another who uses fear to capture your mind. Blessings,

[@erinwetheyhorses1552]

I am so grateful I found your channel. I’ve been spiritually abused by an “apostolic” group that are also my in-laws. I love these people but I cannot find what they teach to be biblical after years of studying the Bible and observing them. It’s been a very difficult road for the past 9 years, as they’ve tried to convert me. I struggle to find people who understand so I am so thankful I found your videos. The good thing about all this confusion and abuse is that it has made me study God’s word deeper to find the true teachings.

[@vinauttv7167]

This is good. I was once a member of a spiritually abusive nondenominational church here in Durham, NC for 26 years and I can tell you some stories. Keep doing what you do and continue standing for the truth.

[@stephaniebryantryan2783]

Was just able to finally watch this. So sorry I missed it. Great live, Ralph!!

[@phillipbingham487]

praise God Almighty both myself and my wife came out of the UPC and we are converted to Russian Orthodox..this is the greatest thing which has happened to us !

[@lapaorie4995]

These videos/blog are truly such a blessing. I listen to them over and over to familiarize myself with the real truth that you profess in revealing this legalistic organization. When apart of an organization like the UPC, you often feel alone in the questioning of doctrine and standards. I've often found that when I would ask questions, the same explanation would be given to me, in expectancy to just take their word for it, and leave it at that. When I would dig deeper, I felt an argumentative and defensive tone from the opposing party. I was always told to "talk to the pastor", or "ask the pastor to explain it to you". However, what's the point of that? He is just going to tell me the SAME thing that everyone else apart of the organization is telling me. I did research all my questions for myself. A huge obstacle I am facing now, is while I don't agree with this teaching, I still attend the church, because my husband is a believer. He agrees that it's more performance based, and a tad charismatic. He however does not agree that our standards are man made. This is a true struggle for me, as I feel this takes a toll on my faith, having to continuously attend a church that I don't agree with. I try and plea my believing on how these standards are "man made", but I am told to stop reading from the internet, and listening to non believers. I am smart enough to know that someone saying that to me, is a red flag. I am then told that "our religion" is the only religion that does deep theological studies on the bible and it's depth. I am loaded with examples of how "we" follow things that aren't direct commandments, but biblical based. For example, makeup is only spoken of "negatively" in the bible, so we don't do it. I can't highlight my hair, because it would be vain to want to change/enhance your appearance. I wear a tiny bit of translucent-like eye shadow, and I'm told the bible says "not to paint your eyes". Another big one is submission of the wife. Not sure if you've had any experiences like this while in the organization or not, or know of someone who has. If so, I would truly appreciate your thoughts/comments/advice. It can be overwhelming, but knowing there are others out there, having went through this same thing, can share their experiences, thoughts, and advice.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Hi Lapao, I can truly appreciate your situation and just pray that you find the courage and patience to see this through. Loving your husband for him instead of the religion is most important. One thing you said he said made me cringe, however, and that was, ""our religion" is the only religion that does deep theological studies on the bible and its depth". That truly IS the farthest from the truth. For instance, when the likes of David K. Bernard, Lee Stoneking and others claim that the words 'long hair' means 'uncut' in the original Greek, they are professing lies and claim to have deep theological discoveries that the rest of the world simply cannot find. I have spent the last two weeks looking at every lexicon, dictionary, commentary, and writing I can find and not a single document relates the word uses for 'long hair', which is Kome in the Greek, as 'uncut' hair. To say they (UPC) are the only ones who truly study deep into Theology is ignoring these simple ignorances the church holds and two thousand years of Scholars studying theology that made it possible for the Oneness Pentecostal church to exist. It was exiled as Heresy (modalism, Oneness) in the second century - long before the 325AD Council of Nicea. Teaching man's commandments is taught as negative in the Bible (Mark 7:7) but they still do it. And the makeup was not always spoken negatively in the Bible. Read the Psalms. Jewelry is spoken of all the time in Scripture as 'Beautiful', and a 'Blessing from God'. Abraham has a nose ring and bracelet put on the chosen wife of Isaac. The Parable of the Lost Coin was about the jeweled headdress women wore for beauty. Even many New Testament references talk of the bride her gets herself beautiful (makeup and jewelry) for her husband, relating to the Church and Christ. I would just keep studying, openly with your husband. There are so many falsities being taught in the name of Christ that it is overwhelming. Here is a link to my articles on 'uncut' Hair that can start the conversation and open the eyes that the things the UPC/Oneness organization claims the Bible says, it really does not say. Praying for your, dividetheword.blog/2019/01/26/does-long-hair-mean-uncut-hair-nope/ dividetheword.blog/2018/08/10/vague-dogma-holy-magic-uncut-hair/

[@vessel4thelordjesus]

Wow that's the book I read last year! I was going recommend it but you already showed it in the video. Many blessings!

[@ashleyalicecullen]

I am so glad you are doing these discussions.

[@deanmiller3425]

I am so happy to see you! I read the book on Spiritual abuse and I left that church 2 months ago I am healing from the anger now! Thank You!

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Thank you Ashley, I plan to keep them up as long as there is a need and I have the ability to be doing this.

[@eeg122]

@@deanmiller3425 I've been gone 2 1/2 yrs now with my husband and we feel that we have been in the wilderness. Trying to keep our personal relationship with the Lord alive. I find myself many times trying to overcome anger. As soon as I catch myself replaying toxic thoughts/situations about the organization/pastor & others in "authority"; I repent to the Lord and cry for help. I don't want to be angry. I want to heal completely. May God heal us all.

[@JWatts-gc4zw]

That's what I always thought , The standards differ in different churches. "If this was from God, then why wouldn't it be the same for all " Its either a sin or it isn't, Lots of DOUBLE standands

[@denonamp]

One book that helped me was called twisted scripture recovering from church abuse.

[@millieyoung6850]

I was in the oneness church for years but always had questions. Couldn't leave for fear. I'm out now but my grown son is angry with me.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Hi Millie, My grown son had stayed in the church when I left and it nearly ruined our relationship, but he found his way out, with his sweetheart and now I can say I'll be blessed to be strumming my guitar in their wedding for them. Give time a chance to operate on the heart. A mother's love is powerful.

[@Tamara-ju3lh]

My church has always taught that the word for "long" hair translates to "uncut". I would love more information as you mentioned that it doesn't? I've only recently started questioning and attempting to study for myself but I'm not so good with the Greek and Hebrew translations...

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Tamara, Here are two recent articles I published on the topic. The 'uncut' theory is truly a lie. I hope these help you in your own personal studies about this topic. dividetheword.blog/2019/01/26/does-long-hair-mean-uncut-hair-nope/ dividetheword.blog/2018/08/10/vague-dogma-holy-magic-uncut-hair/

[@vessel4thelordjesus]

Also, I have seen the total reverse version of the beard traditions where the more "devoted" men in some groups took Nazarite vows to grow out their hair as a commitment to God... which is fine with a clean conscience but not if it becomes legalistic.

[@tanyastevens710]

Well... this is extremely helpful and helps my recent decision I made about leaving a Church as of Sunday 8/25/19. There for about a year and 5 months. It was horrible. Everyone is brainwashed...my own Uncle even told me some things and still there. My Aunt told me some things and still there. Crazy! The Holy spirit gives signs and you just have to acknowledge it. I was disliked by many, because I observed a lot and caught on to so many evil things going on and I was even watched. Disgusting. It pays to know to much and it pays to know to little...either way you lose in a Cult. If you know too much, you are an outcast/shunned/not like the rest/trouble. Especially when you stand up for others and yourself and what you believe in. Smart women are a threat to ones who have the devil in them. The Pastor and Leaders of the Church will make you look like the bad guy and talk about you until you are completely hated for no apparent reason. You feel isolated... While the Pastor talks about beating a dog till it was bloody and he was defending himself. Another one where the Pastor talked about if you left the Church, you are a Narcissist. Another one where the Pastor talked about putting an app on his iPhone to track other people's phone number and email to see what everyone is doing.The Pastor has said in front of the congregation, "I know some of you are looking at Porn".....I feel my phone is tapped now... some of the things he has talked about I have said to family privately. So many weird things. Also, last Wednesday the doors were locked when I left the sermon. Odd! And one person I asked about the doors being locked..I ask about how others want to come to Church and he says, if they don't fill out a visitor card they escort them out. I said, wow...this is a cult....

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

I'm really glad you stopped by, shared your story, and expressed your experiences! Thank you, and blessings to your future Tanya!

[@informationstationjw]

Wow Tanya!! I would love to talk with you, and compare some things. This is so like a cult leader

[@calvindavey2094]

Have you heard of a church called the Potters house in McMinnville, Oregon that is like your old church?

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Calvin, I have heard of the Potter's House here in town and while they are slightly different than my old church, I will still classify them as cultic.

[@calvindavey2094]

@@DivideTheWordBlog I was part of a Potters house church for 15 years in Chilliwack, BC. It was from reading the Bible and a fresh understanding of God's grace that convinced me that I was blinded by legalism during the time we were there.

[@faithafterdeception7705]

Happy birthday, Ralph!!!! 🌟🌟🌟🌻🌻🌻

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Thank you!!

[@ryeradio80]

Thanks for your videos

[@leavingtheupci239]

Wondering if we did ours, like 8pm cst on Sunday evening might be better...? thoughts?

[@dianaklask3789]

I have found all of your videos so helpful and thank you for making them. However I am sad to see you have not posted anything new for a year. I hope UPCI hasn't demanded you cease and desist.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Hello Diana - I am rebooting the channel on 5/10/2020.

[@dianaklask3789]

@@DivideTheWordBlog I can't wait until tomorrow! Thank you for this great channel and what you do. You are a blessing!

[@patienceoneil3673]

Could you link the sources articles videos books etc please?

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

@Patience, please let me know what references you need and I'll post them here in reply. I'm not remembering all references made in this video.

[@smoaro6451]

Sunday evenings would be great!!

[@doughawtin1905]

Bro Ralph what do you think of the doctrine where if you were sent to hell you become a demon I disagree what do you think I want to go to heaven and not be deceived I would like some feedback

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Hi Doug, I don't believe for one moment we become demons. There is no Scriptural evidence for this, at least none that I've seen. I lean more towards the Annhiliation belief, that the soul is utterly destroyed. For instance, Scripture to teaches that God gives eternal existence to the righteous, not the damned. Scripture tells us that we should fear not what can destroy just the body, but He that will destroy our body AND soul in Hades. It is both abhorrent cruel to believe God would grant eternity to both the righteous and the unrighteous, and that for the unrighteous, God would sustain our life just to inflict endless pain. That doesn't sound like a God of love, but if malice and hate. Of course there is judgment, according to the Scriptures, but I don't see Hell as an eternal place of torment for those who reject Christ, but a casting in to the fire where it says we are consumed, and things that are consumed are destroyed and are no more.

[@OurHumbleLife]

Nothing in scripture makes this claim.

[@denonamp]

Are u doing any more talks or have a way to speak outside

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

HI Kyle I will be doing more talks soon but you can also reach out to me on my blog, www.dividetheword.blog

[@informationstationjw]

You have not done a video on KZbin in awhile on this topic. Do you plan on continuing?

[@RalphBrickley]

Hello, I will be doing more talks and videos soon! I needed to take a short break and I'm moving but after we get settled back in I'll pick it up again.

[@denonamp]

@@RalphBrickley thanks for getting back. Wonder what happened lol. Good to know anyway to speak? Wat ur talks be on?

[@denonamp]

@@DivideTheWordBlog I did message but no reply

[@rachelvanzile]

Hi. I would love to hear your thoughts on the New Apostolic Reformation movement and Dominionism and the spiritual abuse in these movements.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Hi Rachel, The term New Apostolic Reformation was actually a title given to the movement by Peter Wagner, in opposition to he movement, but it should come as no surprise that this is yet another spawn of the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement. The NAR stands to being back the office of Apostle, which is a idea has been alive for a very long time by practice in the Apostolic Oneness Pentecostal religion, known as the Delegated Authority dogma. That is, modern day Apostolic leaders believe they have received the Delegated Authority that the Apostles had, given to them by Christ, specifically the right to create Doctrine, and we see this going all the way back in to the Catholic Church and Papal authority. My personal opinion is that it is a damnable heresy and this is exacerbated by the business model of the NAR. Pay more money, get a higher authority title, much like Scientology.

[@jeffreysmith4965]

You're out? Out of the church or what? Please clarify.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

I left the one this Pentecostal church I was a part of in January 2017. So yeah, I am definitely out.

[@jeffreysmith4965]

@@DivideTheWordBlog Oh, okay. I thought you meant "out" like gay out. Thank you for clarifying that.

[@leavingtheupci239]

@@jeffreysmith4965 LOL! We do often use the term 'out', we also use the term 'left'. but when you've been "in it" for a time, then the term "out" just makes so much sense, as in FREE!! And saying "we left' actually sounds more like a more boring experience... as in, were done. But the reality is WE'RE OOUUUTTT!!!!! GLOORREEEEE!!!!"... at least that's what it feels like..lol

[@phillipbingham487]

i could never be UPC because they try to get me to cut of my manhood.. if uncut hair is the glory of the woman then by sheer elimination the beard is the mans..

[@michellee2990]

The rule against facial hair NEVER made any sense to me . If they can make a rule against having facial hair , what other "standards" (wich they say lines up with scriptures) are they taking out of context or deliberately misrepresenting ? Ralph explains these topics in his videos , and so does Deanna from Responsible Faith channel . When you know the rule against facial hair is definitely a man made rule , you start questioning other things as well . Even though I'm not a man , it always annoyed me that an organization (or different churches) wanted to take away a person's right to wear a beard or mustache .

[@noothername6199]

The only thing that helped me when my family turned against me is fasting. Reading the bible daily pushed the oppression away I felt when dealing with people's judgement attitudes. The more I fasted the more peace it would bring in my family. Legalism spirit is of the devil. I feel sorry for these people. I was one of them. Church standards destroys marriages and familys. The proof is in the pudding, this is not of God.

[@wykkydtruth]

ah, I see my first issue with your old church, I never would have asked permission. LOL Out of curiosity, did your church have an area to sell items? Turning the church into a marketplace/den of thieves. The church is supposed to be for fellowship and worshiping God, not making money. some good books are: Toxic Faith Paperback by Stephen Arterburn (Author), Jack Felton (Author), Twisted Scripture by Mary Alice Chrnalogar The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church by David Johnson (Author), Jeff VanVonderen (Author). One person I tried to reach out to said the same thing to me. She thought the pastor put me up to spy on her. So glad to hear your marriage is intact. In the church I left there was a man who had issues with his wife following the pastor instead of her marriage. I explained to him she wasn't following God's word by doing that.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Hey, My church DID have a Bookstore where the sold merchandise to the church body. This is also where/how they sold the men plastic tie clips because we weren't allowed to wear metal clips. Yes, they turned the house of God in to a merchants shop. Sad to hear about spouses that will follow a dictatorial pastor instead of their spouse but it shows the level of manipulation and mind-control that takes place in these churches.

[@meligarrett9197]

Anyone having left WOF here?

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

@Meli there are not many in my audience who would have come out from WOF (Word of Faith) as the Apostolic/Oneness Pentecostal religion condemned Charismatics - event though they themselves were that very thing. If you have left WOF, I would love to hear more of your story however so that this audience understands the danger of it.

[@darinebena2379]

[And mention] when the angels said, "O Mary, indeed Allah gives you good tidings of a word from Him, whose name will be the Messiah, Jesus, the son of Mary - distinguished in this world and the Hereafter and among those brought near [to Allah ]. He will speak to the people in the cradle and in maturity and will be of the righteous." She said, "My Lord, how will I have a child when no man has touched me?" [The angel] said, "Such is Allah ; He creates what He wills. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, 'Be,' and it is. And He will teach him writing and wisdom and the Torah and the Gospel And [make him] a messenger to the Children of Israel, [who will say], 'Indeed I have come to you with a sign from your Lord in that I design for you from clay [that which is] like the form of a bird, then I breathe into it and it becomes a bird by permission of Allah . And I cure the blind and the leper, and I give life to the dead - by permission of Allah . And I inform you of what you eat and what you store in your houses. Indeed in that is a sign for you, if you are believers. And [I have come] confirming what was before me of the Torah and to make lawful for you some of what was forbidden to you. And I have come to you with a sign from your Lord, so fear Allah and obey me. Indeed, Allah is my Lord and your Lord, so worship Him. That is the straight path."

[@josephbailey1100]

hello i'm a ex upc

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

The ex part is the best portion of that statement! I'm glad to hear of your deliverance, and I'm glad we connected on Facebook.

[@genavieveshaw5654]

Is it ok for Women to have Facial hair? LOL

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Did God create them with a natural propensity for growing facial hair? If so, then I would say yes. Alas, that is now how they are created.

[@lisaschaeffer]

I never joined such a weird church, creepy.

[@DivideTheWordBlog]

Then you are blessed Lisa!