What's harder: going from 0-1 or 1-2 kids? (Audience callers) | The Real Stuff

[@luciebfink]

What do we think?? Does your experience match up with my theory? Leave a comment down below with your POV! 👇 Don't forget Father's Day is coming up! If you're still searching for the perfect gift, go to StoryWorth.com/REALSTUFF to save $10 on your first purchase or head to Omaha Steaks for mouthwatering gift packages starting at just $99 and use promo code LUCIE to get $10 off your order. 💙

[@ayeletarzouan6610]

0-1 was so much easier than 1-2. Having two kids is still hard (even 22 months later!) And the funny thing is my second was a very easy baby, and he's objectively a pretty easy going toddler. And having two kids is twice as fun for all of us! But boy is it challenging to be always splitting my attention

[@oceaneyeye]

I am rejecting your theory because my 1st postpartum experience was easy and I am currently pregnant with baby #2 😂 but time will tell! Thank you for this podcast, it was really interesting!

[@luciebfink]

Lollll keep me posted😅😅😅

[@SaraAisenberg]

SAME. Thoughts and prayers 🙃

[@aidasall4815]

Thank you so much for this - such an insightful episode yet again! I love how this podcast delves into topics that aren't discussed nearly enough (and are often even deemed taboo among many women in society) in such an unapologetic & candid way. It's so helpful, especially as a young woman transitioning out of my teenage years and into adulthood soon. Live laugh Lucie Fink lol

[@rachelle2227]

My baby is only a month old so far, but thus far he’s been an easier newborn than my first… we are hoping and thinking he will be more calm too, fingers crossed. He’s been pretty calm for a baby. If so, then for us 1-2 is way easier. Our daughter is 2 (28 months, so almost 2.5), and a lot easier now as a toddler and can entertain herself, so the hard parts are giving her snacks (which is really just a matter of time), and the fact that I have to go out with her. I’ve been working on baby wearing, so so far it hasn’t been hard to go out with the two of them. I want to keep up the baby wearing as long as baby will tolerate (I imagine when he’s crawling it will get harder). I’d guess when they’re 3 and 1 would be the hardest point, and that’s mostly dependent on how tolerant my then 3 year old would be with sticking by us, I think. When she is 3 though, we’re planning on preschool for her 3 mornings a week, so I can do a lot of baby things with my second then, and won’t have to go out with the two of them everyday anyway. I also am fortunate to have a lot of help from my husband, which cannot be understated! He works from home, and thus has time to help in the mornings and evenings. I try to be as productive as I can be, but of course that’s difficult right now since we’re in the trenches.

[@heloisebrunet330]

I was just listening to East Love new song, this is Fink Day today :) Mum of 3 here, definitly harder to go from 0 to 1 kid, because I felt I had to build and question everything, especially as I was the first to bring a grand-child to my mum. In the end, the easiest was to go from 2 to 3 !! What Camila said about not getting out with your new born before they hit 2 months sounds so tough for the family ! I love the international perspective :) Thank you for this amazing episode Lucie :)

[@angietorres107]

When you’re talking about the car seat situation; we have a big enough car where I am able to unbuckle my toddler and have him stand in the car while I get his sister out and carry her. Then while I am carrying her ( she’s one by the way) I can help him out. We also establish safe spot. Like the wheel right next the door is where he stands. There is a second safe spot when we park at his daycare which is the grass. We also talk about what are the rules when visit or do a new place/ task. I am on number three now which was very soon after the second and I quickly realized how easy I had it with two. 0-1 its hard because it’s all new but you have more time to get thru the hard.. you can second guess yourself , research. 1-2 wasn’t so bad of a transition because second baby was a breeze she slept thru the night she didn’t cry for feeds the schedule was known from the first. 2-3 is hard, real hard - workload level is high but you have little bit more grace on yourself and you don’t have time to second guess anything. You just do and do and do until bedtime.

[@rockerchick6168]

Thank you so much for doing this episode. We’re trying for a second this summer and I’m excited, but also nervous about managing a 3 year old and newborn when they come 😬

[@rockerchick6168]

I also definitely felt so alone the first few nights after we brought our son home. A few of my family members came to help, and after they left, I was so sad, especially at night. It’s so much easier once they go to sleep all night and things are more predictable.

[@Michelle_Gian]

Well, before you even got to the audience callers I agree wholeheartedly with your theory. I found 0-1 life changing in every possible way, 1-2 was delving into complete chaos but at least I was already familiar with the chaos so I was at least mentally prepared.

[@marie-dominikdemers5170]

I have a different theory. I think it’s about expectations. And now here I’m excluding PPA and PPD. But some people have a hard time going from 0-1 because maybe they kind of idealized having a child? Or didn’t really know everything that went into it? And so then being confronted to things they didn’t expect on top of the things we all hear about (like sleep deprivation for example). And then maybe they’re more ready for the second one so it goes more smoothly? And then if the first one went super well and you idealize having a second one and things going as well or as easily as the first one and then if reality doesn’t match the expectations of what having a second child would be like then it’s that transition that is harder.

[@meeradave6012]

These stories really affirm my child free decision

[@melodybrownton6528]

I think so much of the experience depends on your baby. 0-1 was very tough for me because I had severe PPA and my daughter was very challenging. 1-2 was easier for me because my son was such an easy newborn and I was well established as a mom. I had also been diagnosed with PPA and was on anti anxiety meds that helped a lot. That being said, seeing how hard 1-2 was on my daughter as she was used to being the only child for 4+ years was so upsetting. Which leads me to another big factor: the age difference between your kids... So many unique circumstances! Both have their own sets of challenges. But both are totally worth it.

[@chelseycoker6058]

Team 1-2 being easier! Love all of these unique perspectives. I think I could listen to audience callers thoughts on parenthood all day lol

[@luciebfink]

lol sameeeee so fascinating

[@robinsarkin-shearer4845]

Thank you for the insightful episode!!!

[@alimueller2514]

Omg the ppd and crying every night when the sun went down… same for me. I just had my first October 2023, and it totally rocked my world. He was colicky, we felt like we never slept, we couldn’t leave the house without him freaking out. I think I am one and done for now , but I think 1-2 would be easier for me if I had to guess. It’s crazy how much I could relate to the people who said 0-1 was harder… I felt all the same things. And how I couldn’t relate at all to the people who had chill babies who just slept easily and were side kicks!