What's it like raising an Undiagnosed Autistic Kid? | Interviewing my Mom

[@CathyThwing]

Moms let us be in stereo! It's really lucky that you've gotten to share your diagnosis with your mom to reframe your childhood.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Cathy thanks that is a great way to put it “reframe your childhood”

[@passaggioalivello]

I loved this honest mother-daughter conversation. Very intense and deep. Thank you.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks I appreciate you

[@lynette4119]

So wonderful to see your momma. I think many adults, even neurotypical ones, would benefit from having such an open discussion with their parents about the challenges of their childhood. A lot of healing can come from understanding another perspective. I'm so glad your diagnosis has brought you both to this place in your relationship

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks friendmate :)

[@FreehandlyMadeAuCrochet]

Girl! My Mom's name is Kathy Too!!!!! Hands down this is my #1 favorite video of yours! I loved watching this! Thank you so much to you both for being vulnerable and sharing both your stories!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Ahh twins!

[@stevegreenwood7837]

my mother & father treated me like l was a big problem...they were only seeing & hearing a child that said things that were annoying or if we were in company they felt embarrassed & uncomfortable then later once we were alone l would get a good telling off it was strange l remember thinking even back then, . this is how my childhood was, later on my last school l went to was a Special -school there was no mention of Dyslexic or Autism , l could see there were some different people with mental disabilities at this school , and later l notice there were some that were more like me and l had a lot in common with, in time l even had a nice girl -friend :-) saying all that the school did nothing much for my Autism or Dyslexia... as l said it was never mentioned, l do think they new nothing of it . l know now thats what l have Autism ect and l know you cant fix it as its not broken... its just that our brains are wired different ..Fact !

[@WoodshedTheory]

Steve I’m sorry I know many have had a similar experience you are not alone

[@The_Vanished]

So, absurdly i grew up my whole life with undiagnosed and unchecked ADHD along with autism. I had literally multiple thoughts being invasively processed by my overt thought process. I was constantly distracted and really somehow had almost no trouble until i was an adult. Very strange.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Interesting, I think for me the structure of my youth held me together but when I had to take care of myself I struggled

[@brigidpope4349]

Your mother is an angel on earth.I met her in the summer.I am also from beautiful Pennsylania. What a wonderful video!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you so much she is an angel

[@carlataylor9924]

❤ loved this video Clair and it was pretty cool meeting your mom! Now i have an image to place with the cool mom who made you a power rangers cake when you were younger! 😊

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks she is really the best mom ever

[@cowsonzambonis6]

Your mom is so cute doing your intro with you!

[@WoodshedTheory]

I know! I love her!

[@whitneymason406]

I've had a lot of good conversations with my mom since diagnosis. Very healing! ❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

It was so beneficial for me

[@Gntlplaces]

I'm 64, self diagnosed do far. My mom has been deceased since I was 21. I grew up thinking she didn't like me, we didn't get along. She was able to have affection for my brother. Listening to you two, takes the sting out of many things she said to me. For instance: "You're worse that 10 boys!" Really, just validation that I was not typical. I thought I was unlovable. So many struggles in school too. Always chosen last for games in school, etc. So thank you both so very much!!!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you for your kind words I am glad it was helpful - relationships on the spectrum are so difficult

[@leilap2495]

You felt safe with your family. How sweet! 🥹❤️

[@WoodshedTheory]

i am so grateful for them

[@karilyons1045]

Thank you so much for this video. I just recently found your channel and Im so thankful I did.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i am grateful to have you here

[@FirstmaninRome]

THE ORIGIn of claires cuteness. So sweet.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks friend!

[@arnowinnertz]

Hilarious (the beginning) thanks for you both so openly talking 🤗

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Arno I appreciate you!

[@Petertwohig1948]

Thanks for this. It was through having a conversation with my son about his (and my grandson's) autism that it dawned on me that I myself was autistic, I was in my 60s at that time. Now I feel much closer to them, and (only slightly) less guilty about my failures as a dad. Love you both.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you Peter for your encouragement. We both enjoyed making this video for the channel.

[@stevegreenwood7837]

wow what an amazing mum thanks for showing us this really so helpful insight video you guys are so tuned in so loving & understanding .

[@WoodshedTheory]

She really is an amazing person

[@theautisticpage]

Your mom is so awesome! My mother was misdiagnosed as schizophrenic in the 60's I am sure she was autistic. I was never able to have an actual conversation with her as she was not capable.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m sorry that you weren’t connect with your mom in that way. ASD women where not treated fairly in the recent past.

[@michelelovesbooks]

Such a wonderful video, Claire! Your mom is the cutest and seems so sweet and supportive. It was nice hearing both perspectives, and seeing how your relationship has changed and that you are now best friends. I’m glad you can both understand each other better now that you have answers. Thanks for sharing your sweet mom with us, I can definitely see the resemblance. Thank you both for making me smile today. Have an amazing rest of your time together!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you Michele I am having a blast lots of cookies being baked

[@Joey-u5p]

Well my mom had raised me but before we both found out in my last year being a teenager that I’ve been in fact autistic I was actually a well behaved kid other than the fact that I always wandered off and so my mom had me wear one of those little backpack things with a leash to it since I guess I did and still do have an eloping issue which means exactly as in to wander away from anyone which is exactly what I did and still do to this point of time but usually I don’t go too far off that’s only what happens sometimes but other than that I was a good kid even with that kind of a bad habit and had to do summer school once I think which is good cause had I not I would have been behind the grade I should have been at which luckily wasn’t the case but in many ways it wasn’t easy for my mom to raise me her probably most likely only first kid that just so happened to had been living with a mental disability that probably isn’t the same as the kind the only other relative in my family had all her life I kinda remember her and she did have some grasp of speaking but still the fact of me being autistic all my life without an actual answer while still doing things for my sister and brother who are both likely to be having adhd wasn’t easy for my mom but now moving forward after her and I having had the answer that I have indeed been autistic I’m thankful for the 2 big things she had done for me the second thing of course is a long process that could take up to a decade but I’m still willing to wait for an answer I’d like to hear back based off what is said in another letter that could take a couple months to come probably plus I helped myself out and got actual headphone earmuffs that reduces sound I’ll be trying it out for Fourth of July and hopefully they will work better than my beats headphones which are also noise canceling they just don’t do a good job though

[@WoodshedTheory]

thanks for sharing!

[@staceykennedy3289]

I relate to this. My mother and I, same relationship.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I am happy to hear ❤️

[@garthliebhaber6914]

Thank you so much for making this video! I found it to be a very affirming video. Thank you to you and your mother. Lol, maybe you can do a video on autistic humor!

[@WoodshedTheory]

That would be a good video I’ll put it on the list

[@ashandtheink]

What a beautiful conversation! I imagine my mom would have very similar responses to all of these questions. I haven't shared with her about my recent Autism diagnosis (she knows about my OCD), but this really inspired me to do so (in my own time, of course)! I know this channel is changing, but what a gift, Claire, to keep these old, vulnerable videos up to educate so many folks within and outside of our community. Much love to you!

[@GemmasJourneyGrace]

Awesome conversation !! very honest

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Gemma hope you are well

[@hellaSwankkyToo]

wow. this was really inspiring. i hope i can film one of these w| my own MOMMs one day. thank you for this! 🖤✊🏾

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks that’s kind

[@cecile-p]

The french subtitles are not bad, I have to share this with my mother ! Thank you both, it's a really useful video !

[@WoodshedTheory]

Ah I am so glad to hear that the french is ok!

[@sarahleony]

Wow your mom’s energy is so CALM and secure! I immediately thought she must be in education? Also - you’re in PA!! I’m in PA! Will there be a meet & greet? :))

[@WoodshedTheory]

She has always worked with kids and those in need - she’s amazing! Also that sounds so fun - maybe in the future!

[@angelabolhuis9575]

Thank you so much. It makes my cry sort of mix of happy and sad. Cause I wish I could have had this conversations with my mom. She died in 2014 and for me the wake-up call to search help. First for feeling guilty and later for research if Im on the spectrum. Which I am. I recognize so much in what you are telling about being the rol-model outside and at home where you feel safe youre having all this meltdowns, feeling not understood, saying mean things not to hurt but out of powerlessness. So happy that you are best friends with your mom and can talk with each other. Is so beautiful how you can reflect so open and honest, that is the power of you and you help me so much for understanding things in my own situation better!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you for your kind words. I will always cherish this post diagnosis years with my mom

[@jennifergauthier3282]

Oh, you guys... My heart 💗💗💗

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks friend ❤️

[@michaelmalervy9066]

This may be your best video yet! It is heartwarming seeing the love between the two of you. My dad was my best friend and seeing your relationship with your mom brings back memories of my dad. I hope you have your mom for a long time to come.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi Micheal thank you I am glad it brought back happy memories

[@charleneroche9418]

This is the greatest video Claire/Kathy! Autism is so complicated to diagnose and deal with daily for children/their parents. This has been a super opportunity for others to evaluate what can happen after proper diagnoses/medications. After all, if you had a heart condition or diabetes wouldn't you accept a doctors script for meds? Sadly, when the problems is in our brain we often balk at accepting meds......Meds are important/really help every part of our body, especially our BRAINS. Keep up the good work Claire!!!!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Charlene for your thoughtful comment I Appreciate you ❤️

[@nunyerbizness9598]

What a great discussion. Thanks to both of you. And the harmony at the beginning was nice.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks! I am happy you liked it

[@faeriesmak]

This was really helpful, especially hearing what your Mom talked about you being her safe space and therefore took the brunt of your behavioral issues when you were a teen. I am in the same position with my 15 year old son in that respect. I never thought of it that way, though, and will have to think on this for awhile. I am both the parent of two kids with ADS, ADHD, and other issues as well as a late diagnosed ASD person so I am getting everything from every direction! Thanks for this one!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks for your thoughts. I hope things get better with your son.

[@faeriesmak]

@@WoodshedTheory Thank you. I ma sure that it will.

[@brandywells6503]

Thank you for sharing this 💛

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you Brandy. I appreciate your comment!

[@wendy8561]

Wonderful video the beauty of a mother and daughter God bless you both 💜

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you Wendy :) it was so good to see her

[@michellebarclay7574]

Dear Claire and Mom, I just found your channel, Thank you so much for this video!! It means the world to me!! I am a mom with an older teen (18) who is undiagnosed but definitely on the spectrum and I think that OCD is involved. There are tons of videos to find about persons coming out about their diagnosis but this is the first one with the mom sharing her experience. That's why it is priceless to me. I definitely recommend more videos with mom included because it helps us parents to know what to do just by what your mom is sharing. Can you and your mom share some more about what OCD looked like for you with the intrusive thoughts and how it impacted your undiagnosed asd? How did day to day life look like back then with these two issues present. Did you take hours to start and end your day? Did you ask your mom the same question over and over? Also can you recommend a couple placed that provide adult diagnosis at no or low cost? Your mom also shared from a faith perspective and I would love to hear more. Thank you in advance.

[@WoodshedTheory]

What a good idea for a video with mom - I will def put it on the list. I remember I would ask for reassurance over and over and the compulsions would take time out of my day but i would try to hide it the best i could until it was really mostly in my head. as far as diagnosis - depending on your daugthers age if could still be covered under insurance. my provider provides diagnosis up until 23 years. my dr. recommended reaching out to aane.org and they helped me find a local dr but it was out of pocket.

[@laurainrevison1162]

infinity agree on the gaslighting from others. FYI....when you are gaslit your entire life then try to be authentic it's so hurtful to hear that your invalidated by others. The same issue that cause you not to get diagnosed earlier in life. I look at it as a them problem.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Yeah I agree the process is a lot

[@stephaniesummerhill8918]

Do you think you could make some videos about the tough teenage years? I am waiting to get my official diagnosis within the next couple of months but Man my teenage years were rough. They were so rough that I was absolutely terrified to hear that I was having a girl. She is on the spectrum she is six years old and she is my little Bestie, but I definitely dread the hormones of the teenage years

[@WoodshedTheory]

oh wow that is a great topic - maybe next time my mom and i are together

[@sarawills1743]

Thank u for your honesty about medication. I do believe God uses it at different seasons and I am thankful

[@WoodshedTheory]

You are welcome Sara - it has really really helped me.

[@JAMESGREGORYKULP1985]

Hello Claire and great video. And I loved seeing you and your mom doing a video together.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks we enjoyed filming together

[@JAMESGREGORYKULP1985]

@@WoodshedTheory your welcome Carissa. Seeing you and your mom together. Makes me miss my mom. My mom passed away in December of 2019. At the age of 69 years old.

[@philipswann9753]

Yay!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Yay!

[@rockstarjazzcat]

“Yeah, that’s how genetics work.” 😂

[@WoodshedTheory]

😂

[@kaylaprinsloo-steiner9437]

Such a great video ❤️

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks it meant a lot to me

[@withheldformyprotection5518]

Claire, with the genetic link for autism, did you find a pathway within your lineage, are you unique within your family? The are many stories in the community of a child’s diagnosis leading to an aha moment for others (often parents).

[@WoodshedTheory]

We haven’t really discussed it actually

[@julesbellucci2863]

Twins 💖

[@WoodshedTheory]

we totally are!

[@sarahcauer88]

Would be very nice if you answer me one question, please! Our teenage-years sound very similar... my mother asked me to move out when i was 16, at age 17 i did THIS IS HOW TERRIBLE LIVING WITH ME WAS... the biggest problem, i think, was that i always felt like everyone is equal to me so i did not understand why a parent would have the right to tell me what to do... i see this also in my four year old son... Do you relate to that aswell? Have you or anyone experienced similar? Aprecciate your answer very much! Thanks

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi Sarah my mom will tell you she hated me as a teen and never thought we would be friends cause I was terrible to her. I don’t disagree we were def struggling

[@sarahcauer88]

@@WoodshedTheory I ment, i want to know if your problem was that you have seen your mother as equal and so you don't followed her rules?

[@neridafarrer4633]

My youngest son is like that. He moved out this year. He is 17. I moved out at 16. Both my parents had new, young families and they had no time, nor the skills, to deal with me.

[@staceykennedy3289]

❤️❤️❤️

[@WoodshedTheory]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@paolinabd3567]

💕💕💕💕

[@Shalom-12]

Your mom must be a believer in Christ- she's a light. ❤ Thank you for your videos.

[@WoodshedTheory]

She is! she is so super amazing and inspires me all the time.

[@doreal]

Wow. I wonder if my mother died not liking me.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Gosh I hope not! I’m sure she liked you! We’ve been friends for years before my diagnosis

[@faeriesmak]

I am sorry for the loss of your Mother. I can assure you, though, that even though things may have been difficult she LOVED you and that is way more important. I have gone through periods of time with both of my sons where I didn’t like them. I think that it’s pretty natural, especially when you have children who are more challenging to care for.

[@doreal]

❤❤❤@@nonnymoose6260