What Seems to Be The Officer, Problem? - SOUTH PARK

While driving the boys home, Randy gets pulled over. He fails a sobriety test, let's his pants fall down and gets arrested.
"Bloody Mary" S09
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#SouthPark #SouthParkS09
INT. CAR - MOVING - NIGHT
Dad is drinking from his bottle while driving the boys
home. Stan is in the passenger seat, Cartman, Kyle and Ike
are in the back, all still wearing their Karate outfits.
STAN
Dad, aren't you supposed to like,
not drink and drive?
STAN'S DAD
I'm not drinking and driving, I'm
driving WHILE I'm drinking! Right
boys?!
CARTMAN
Sure, whatever dude.
STAN'S DAD
Oh I gotta pee. Hand me that empty
bottle, Stan.
STAN
What? Just pull over.
STAN'S DAD
Stan you need to learn some things
about being a man. Now give me that
bottle.
Stan reaches down and hands him the bottle. We don't see
what Stan's dad is doing, but is obvious from how his hands
move.
STAN'S DAD
There's a -- reason God made our
penises like little hoses, boys.
Hold the wheel Stan.
Stan leans over and takes the wheel.
STAN'S DAD
When you kids start driving you're
gonna need to learn to do this too.
Whoop!
Stan's dad bumps the wheel, Stan's hand slips and The car
swerves.
STAN
Dad, we're gonna crash!
STAN'S DAD
SSSH!! I'm trying to concentrate!
Just hold the damn wheel.
Colored lights flash behind the car.
Cartman and Kyle look out the back window.
KYLE
Dude, I think you're being followed.
STAN'S DAD
Oh yeah?
Stan's dad flips him off through the window
STAN'S DAD
GET OFF MY ASS, DICKHOLE!
CARTMAN
No, Dude, it's the police.
Now we hear the SINGLE SIREN go WRRRRRR.
STAN'S DAD
Oh crap!
Stan's dad panics and pulls over the car.
STAN'S DAD
HERE! HOLD THIS!
Stan takes the bottle of pee and looks grossed out.
STAN
AW IT'S ALL WARM!
STAN'S DAD
Everybody just stay calm. I can
handle this no problem!
Stan's dad takes out a piece of gum and chews it quickly.
STAN'S DAD
I know how to deal...
TAP TAP TAP - a flashlight knocks against the glass. Dad
hits the button and the window goes down.
POLICE MAN
License and registration, please.
STAN'S DAD
What seems to be the officer,
problem?
POLICE MAN
Sir why don't you step out of the
car for me.
STAN'S DAD
Okay.
Stan's dad opens the door and gets out.
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
The cop leads Randy over by his squad car.
COP
Sir, I'm going to give you a
sobriety test.
STAN'S DAD
Okay, no problem. Easy.
COP
Stand over here please. Right
there. Alright, Now I want you to
hold your arms out at your sides.
Stan's dad does - he immediately starts to stumble a
little.
STAN'S DAD
There! I did it, see?! No problem!
COP
And now touch your finger to your
nose.
STAN'S DAD
DO WHAT?!
COP
Touch your finger to your nose.
Stan's dad stands there with outstretched hands looking
confused.
STAN'S DAD
OH COME ON! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
COP
Just bring one hand to your nose
like this.
The cop shows him. Stan's dad stands there, wavering a
little... He thinks... He sticks his tongue out like he's
concentrating.
STAN'S DAD
Okay... Okay.. hang on...
He slowly starts to being one finger inward... slowly...
stumbles... Then spins around, his hands outstretched, we
can see his ass crack.
STAN'S DAD
Okay... Hold on... Hold on... hang
on...
ANGLE - INSIDE THE CAR - Stan is in the passenger seat
holding his nose in one hand, while the other boys crawl
all over each other to get a look.
CARTMAN
Dude, what the hell is he doing?
KYLE
I think his pants are falling down.
CUT TO - the back door of the police car slams shut with
Stan's dad in the seat, handcuffed.
STAN'S DAD
(through the glass)
WHAT?! WHAT'D I DO?! WHAT'D I DO?!
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
WIDE shot of the police station - some guys working at
their desks, a vagrant being brought in.
Stan's dad is sitting down at a desk and blowing into a
tube.
STAN'S DAD
(BLOWING SOUND)
POLICE WORKER
Keep blowing... Keep blowing... Keep
Blowing...
STAN'S DAD
(BARFS)
POLICE WORKER
OH JESUS!
Meanwhile, the boys are still in their karate outfits,
sitting on a bench with a handcuffed prostitute on one side
of them and a drug addict on the other. The prostitute
lights a cigarette with her handcuffed hands.
STAN
This is SO embarrassing.
CARTMAN
You know, Stan. I'd say that your
dad RACKS a disaprin

[@southpark]

Watch full episodes of South Park: cart.mn/episodes

[@toddmicky4078]

First reply

[@toddmicky4078]

Second reply

[@toddmicky4078]

Third reply

[@thecomedypilot5894]

Fourth reply

[@thecomedypilot5894]

Fifth reply

[@toasturhztoastbunz896]

The rare times where the South Park police are actually competent.

[@electromagneticpsychopath4973]

Not only competent, but are actually doing their jobs correctly

[@MayandPoppy]

True!

[@andrewclark7559]

They’re competent some of the time. Officer Barbrady actually wasn’t all that bad.

[@nerdknight111]

And Barbrady isn’t all “OK people, nothing to see here, case closed”

[@numalesoybea1348]

They're actually state police. South Park only has one cop and he's terrible.

[@eatpercs918]

“I’m not drinking and driving , i’m driving while im drinking” - Randy Marsh 2005

[@zaeemnasarullah]

“I’m not drinking and driving , I’m driving while I'm drinking” -Randy Marsh, 2005

[@eatpercs918]

@@zaeemnasarullah yeah you right😌

[@TheWaynelds]

“Oh I’m sorry! I thought this was America!” -Randy Marsh 2079

[@jspright5226]

Amiright boys?

[@zaeemnasarullah]

Sure, whatever dude.

[@TCWRebelsResistanceWords]

“What seems to be the officer, problem?” I completely lose it every time he says that

[@remixchild]

Yeah you know Randy’s hammered level is beyond 11 at this point

How can Randy be so stupid? It’s “What seems to be the problem, officer”!

[@MayandPoppy]

@ He was too drunk to make that distinction! 😂

[@thaghost3260]

@ have you ever actually seen the show? Im asking in all seriousness

[@user-rb4cf5dy4p]

He kills me when he says "okay" to get out of da car so calmly

[@ComicalRealm]

"What seems to be the officer, problem"? Ladies and gentleman, we got him

[@thecomedypilot5894]

Hi Trump

[@mayorbeetlejuice4841]

@@thecomedypilot5894 that’s bidump

[@thecomedypilot5894]

@@mayorbeetlejuice4841 lol

[@tonyd.4568]

Wtf man quit quoting Biden

[@juliettgray62]

Sharon: *RANDY MARSH*

[@ADancingRobot]

Cops car says "To patronize and annoy" lol

[@joshuaperkings5155]

like the real world lol

[@Shadowshark80.]

They should all say that lol

[@Forenzikproductions]

I just realized that, too funny xD

[@DarkLorddReviews]

Accurate.

[@danielperez143]

Honesty 👍

[@kingkrool1935]

That cop was so so polite he did his job very professionally

[@whateverman2674]

they always do.#bluelivesmatter

[@kotorandcorvid4968]

@@whateverman2674 okay, troll

[@brodyquestionmark]

@@kotorandcorvid4968 I think that you’re the troll. Also who says “troll” unironically?

[@gasmime]

@@brodyquestionmark like everyone pretty sure only you don’t use it☠️

[@brodyquestionmark]

@@gasmime Hi

[@aziron8955]

"Right boys??" Cartman: "sure whatever dude" I'm dead Lmao

[@Rosemary_bae]

Same here

[@trelavon724]

lmaooo best part

[@ronoccc]

That line is just so funny for some reason. Cartman speaking to him like a grown up

[@doct0rnic]

@@ronoccc one of the rare times he is mature

[@lukenorth7127]

Not only mature, but astute. Very rare for Cartman to show both at the same time.

[@abetterusernamethanthat]

"Touch your finger to your nose" *"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"*

[@JimmyBergman7]

Jesus is God and only way to heaven

[@abetterusernamethanthat]

@@JimmyBergman7 but what does this have to do with a South park video? Not trying to be rude

[@JimmyBergman7]

@@abetterusernamethanthat i must preach everywhere i can. People need to be saved and escape eternal hellfire. The only way is that they hear about Jesus so they can accept Him as their Lord and savior.

[@JimmyBergman7]

@@abetterusernamethanthat if you want to be saved you must preach too. Check my channel to learn more.

[@goopybeansyrup5670]

@@JimmyBergman7 "ooooooo yeeeahhh Big boy wants some fun!!! Excitedly yelled Mr tickles "Please don't hurt me no no what are you doing" jesus scared and anxiously whimpered while attempting to crawl away, leaving a trail of blood from his many injuries *Mr tickle unzips pants and drunkenly exclaims "hot daym we real are gonna have some fun 😋🥴" "no...no no please you can't do this, remember I'm jesus your-your l-l-lord and s-savior PLEASE!!! I BEG YOUU!! 😭🙏, I-I-I I'll let you go to heaven if you stop now" ARRGGG AGHHH AAA UUGH Jesus screams in immense pain and terror as Mr tickle procedes to crush Jesus's skull with tickles colossal KOCK. The end.

[@mcuthor7831]

The best part, his pants are unbuttoned and his belt is unbuckled.

[@livingonhighvibe]

and Stan had to hold his pee that he just had peed in the bottle! :D

[@toxicplayer2796]

Your gay

[@Faraon34420]

@@toxicplayer2796 his what?

[@toxicplayer2796]

@@Faraon34420 he is gay

[@Faraon34420]

@@toxicplayer2796 then why did you say "YOUR gay"?

[@natrajpatil7779]

*I thought this was Merica. Isn't this Merica? I thought this was Merica.*

[@music-channel69]

They tok r jobs!

[@DarkLorddReviews]

Timmy!

[@BrokenEyedVegan]

Randy how much was bail this time? 100 bucks no big deal

[@TommyCeltic]

"Guess that's my guy? No problem. I can take him".

[@gowithit19]

What is this, a communist country or something? I thought this was America!

[@Max-ii5tv]

*"You know Stan, I'd say your dad racks a disciprine"*

[@icezem4797]

"Respect my authoritah!"

[@remixchild]

OMG cartman said something ledgit, again.

[@Rosemary_bae]

😂😂

[@Grove_12-Heroes]

I don’t like Cartman, but he’s got a point.

[@Hlhud]

Well, he's not wrong. ;)

[@MrDaros89]

Stan just sitting there pinching the bridge of his nose gets me every time.

[@DgardsGaming]

Same

[@DieHardRedemption]

Iconic

[@wahoo.]

what nose 😂

[@Phred1994]

Underrated line: "I'm not drinking while driving,, I'm driving while I'm drinking, RIGHT BOYS?"

[@cosettapessa6417]

Sure dude.

[@wildchaser9892]

Sure whatever dude

[@Yrfmbb]

@@wildchaser9892oh I gotta pee,Hand me that empty bottle Stan.

[@JM_Media_Limerick]

​@HeartsForGladys what just pull over

[@CausalityLoop]

His car might say "to patronize and annoy", but that officer protected everyone by getting a drunken idiot off the road.

[@soundred1254]

That honestly makes it even funnier

[@NateB]

The police earning their keep!

[@1995yuda]

LMFAO💀🤣😭 Dude!!

[@mlpfanboy1701]

And did the town a great service

[@wherestyler8047]

It’s a show stop sucking the polices nuts 😭

[@seanyd1235]

It's a talent to be able to piss and drive

[@robertmorris8997]

I did it once and got pulled over. Cop thought I was wrestling a 35 foot anaconda.

[@tmdwu5360]

way of the road dude

[@SentientCubed]

Especially to do so while drunk

[@jonbar3842]

It really is. It took 8 miles, but I did it while my supervisor held the wheel and made fun of my dick. No longer pee shy.

[@cosettapessa6417]

@@jonbar3842 why not stop? 😅

[@unbreakableunion]

This Randy is better than the farm Randy.

[@RangoAnimations]

definitely

[@PumaPants248]

Spoken like a man with no Tegridy

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

As much as I enjoy it, "Crazy scheme" Randy has kind of been overplayed.

[@RangoAnimations]

@@KeybladeMasterAndy the thing is that most of tegridy farms is basically Randy trying to stop making his family hate him

[@warlockofwordsreturnsrb4358]

Both are Randy.

[@scottland906]

I like that Randy didn't *sound* drunk in the sense that he was slurring his words and stuff. It was more that he was just saying stupid stuff which is way more realistic. And "what seems to be the officer problem" with the over-confidence was hilarious.

[@dennisjansson6239]

1:00 1 of Randys BEST & FUNNIEST lines ever.

[@DarkThanatos18]

back when randy was a geologist instead of a weed farmer

[@partyguy101ify]

'Member?

[@idkme7864]

Honestly I don’t mind him being a weed farmer

[@matthewriley7826]

@@idkme7864 Lol too bad it turned him into an even bigger jackass.

[@dnmstarsi]

Yeah, I prefer Weed Farmer Randy. He really wasn't that different a dumbass than Geologist Randy (who barely did that stuff in the previous 22 seasons) in terms of doing shit that usually benefitted him. Difference here was that, it was random yet usually relatable shit.

[@Kaiyats]

@@partyguy101ify Oh I member

[@varonymous6452]

I'm sorry I thought this was America!

[@skwisgarskwigelf7191]

2:01 “AW JESUS!!” 🤬😂

[@Miracle122485]

The fact that Randy was driving drunk with children in the car means he's going to get a harsher sentence, lol

[@realtalkz3930]

This kind of comedy is timeless it was funny 15 years ago and it will be funny in another 15 years I hope they go another 20 seasons god bless Southpark

[@annaleichliter4171]

1:49-Poor Stan. He's obviously embarrassed by the whole thing.

[@Edward_Nebiolo]

Stan’s family is anything but normal

[@DgardsGaming]

Its adorable how he is reacting while other boys are watching whole thing unfold

[@paulgeary6511]

"AWW!!! C'MON!!!!; IT'S ALLL WARM!!!!"😂😂😂😂😂

[@dolee3423]

I never noticed the cop car says "To Patronize and Annoy." 🤣

[@lol0ajo]

randy is a terrible father. goku: hold my beer.

[@bmck5002]

"Racks of disciprine" I died laughing.

[@OrbitOnceAround]

If, out of all people, Cartman says someone lack discipline, then there is a problem.

[@RapFanatic4ever]

Yeah

[@kurroth]

Do you mean, rack disiprin?

[@RapFanatic4ever]

@@kurroth 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@dylanheathe1437]

“Keep blowing, keep blowing, keep blowing” *BLARFAGHFGH* “Oh Jesus!” My favorite part XD

[@eangsyerbic6942]

1:56 Keep blowing, keep blowing, keep blowing. *Randy throws up* AWH JESUS!

[@BigDaddyTony24]

“Everyone relax!!! *I know how to deal* “ “What seems to be the officer, problem?”

[@svxlsa2442]

“No dude, is the police” lmao

[@avocadoadmiral6142]

I would love a episode where the boys are grown ups and repeat all the sh*t their parents did

[@airisho1568]

Yeah, would be funny.

[@obrienjackson6907]

I can't imagine Cartman being a prostitutes'

[@revelca11]

Maybe Cartman would be killed by his son just like he killed his father? :0

[@dragonfly56flyswatter97]

@BEEFCAKE 306 SHUT THE FUCK UP KYLE YOU TO CARTMAN YOU PIECE OF SHIT LARGER THAN MY DAD'S 👨

[@dragonfly56flyswatter97]

@@obrienjackson6907 No he'd be like Randy and Beat his Wife all the Time

[@SportsFan2001]

When Cartman is throwing shade at you, you know it's bad

[@pennjets]

"I am not drinking and driving. I am driving while drinking." Lmao! 😆

[@Thehardtruth69]

At least he's not driving while over the age of 65

[@tomtali]

GETT OFF THE STREEETT!

[@nolankuffner3573]

Randy's pants falling down as he spins in circles: surprisingly entertaining ballet 🤣

[@delfinareckless]

when stan said “aw it’s all warm” I DIED

[@minimalisthealth]

When he was in the back of the car, I was half expecting him to say "I thought this was 'Murica, isn't this 'murica?!'

[@CYang-pe1sk]

2:06 “You know, Stan I say your dad rocks at Discipline!

[@lane52403]

He does

[@deathmagnetic12085]

When randy says "I can handle this" and starts chewing gum as if it's going to mask the smell of alcohol reminds me so much of my dad. As I was growing up, He would come home from the bar piss ass drunk and try to cover the smell with gum because my mom hated when he would get drunk. Though obviously gum isn't going to cover the smell. Alcohol seeps into your pores after consumption.

[@goalhorn2012]

What seems to be the officer, problem? Will never get old🤣

[@aydenzucco5486]

The way he yells back at the kids “right boys!” Kills me

[@laurahughes4799]

" sure whatever dude "

[@michaellynes3540]

0:57 Policeman: License and registration, please. Randy: What seems to be the officer, problem?

[@javencera]

0:50 It all warm XD........best part of the video...

[@Scottwilkie18]

Stan’s face palm should be a mene

[@untappedpotential2761]

Stan being an iconic mood

[@tabifiedler6944]

As always haha

[@DemoniteBL]

@Kevin Keane "Mood" is a synonym for "relatable".

[@Skywalker977]

I feel so sorry for Stan

[@WickedTester176]

*I thought this was America!*

[@BugVRreal]

"argh, but it's all warm!" - Stan Marsh 2005

[@abcun17]

I love what it says on the police cruiser..."To Patronize And Annoy" LOL 🤣😂

[@swavyfamiliaalex99]

One of the very few scenes where Cartman and Kyle are getting along .

[@stroyer2103]

This is the best Randy. Not too over obsessive about things, just being a cool dad

[@B4TEMAN]

Legit one of the funniest South Park scenes of all time 🤣🤣.

[@tinker.belle.501.]

That is so great, when Randy asks, what seems to be the officer, problem?

[@RapFanatic4ever]

I love that 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Dankehum]

This episode is what makes south park awesome. Besides the idiocy of the show it still delivers a deep meaning

[@funshine97]

Randy: (vomits) "Bleah!" 🤮 Police Officer: "Aw Jesus!" 😠

[@DarkLorddReviews]

Stan you need to learn some things about being a man. Now give me that bottle. Just like my dad used to say.

[@orangeillinoisthemanyt1455]

Me playing hand simulator 1:41

[@FlancitoConCebolla]

The worst about Randy is that it reminds me of my dad

[@tonyrodriguez2943]

Randy had a Hangover.

[@frankmiranda707]

Randy puking after blowing 😂😂😂😂😂

[@LEGOALEX97]

I never thought I'd pee into a bottle in a road trip, but last time I was visiting my father's I had to piss crazy bad (I was alone in the car), the highway had literally nothing for another forty minutes and I had a couple of empty bottles in the floor I regret nothing

[@charliesucksatgaming390]

This scene is amazing 😂

[@melodeath3961]

What did I do? I thought this was America

[@remixchild]

Yeah but you don’t DWI!!

[@melodeath3961]

@@remixchild I was referring to episode with batdad 🤣

[@yvesbata4738]

"what seems to be the officer problem" *gru whistle earraped starts playing*

[@bippyip2912]

I love how Ike is just there staring

[@chipsthedog1]

Randy often seems dumb but remember he pulled off secretly being the popstar Lorde as well as being a geologist. Funnt dude

[@ohlordy2042]

C'mon. We've all been caught driving with our pants undone, holding a warm bottle of beer, slurring our words, unable to touch our noses and then throwing up in the police station. Haven't we?

[@bluscout6440]

I miss this Randy.

[@0MysticDragon140]

I legit watched this episode two days ago

[@Blank.457]

How did you know that i watched this 2 days ago at southparkstudios.com 😮

[@pretzel1187]

Same

[@itsjustcami1633]

Same

[@rainman6632]

You're my hero

[@chadangeles3856]

I forgot kids like southpark

[@amaniwhite9622]

Taken from the episode: Bloody Mary (2005) From season 9 of south park (1997-present) This episode originally aired on December 7th 2005. And remember, drinking and driving is very hazardous. So don't drink while driving, or somebody could get hurt.

[@ryandevan2793]

Yeah!

[@thepolishdinosaur9015]

Cartman wearing a suicide headband on december 7th, seems legit

[@bradycorrion5118]

It's the last episode of season 9

[@thudtheace]

As I get older and older Randy is becoming more and more my idol!

[@SeanOZone]

"Touch your finger to your nose" "Oh come on that's impossible!"

[@michaelsouslin891]

"That is not a disciprine" is one of my favorite lines from this episode when he tells his dad to drink less😂

[@Brisk_Deer]

I want to say “What seems to be the officer, problem?” When I start driving Edit: don’t take it seriously. It was a joke because even though I saw this many times, I still find it extremely funny

[@Brisk_Deer]

@Asinine Pirate lmao, it was a joke. Don’t take it seriously 😂

[@ryandevan2793]

It’s alright man

[@jaymaxwell5256]

This is literally the episode that kicked off Randy Marsh rise to being the best character on south park

[@invisiblefiddle1645]

Racks of disciprine

[@user-cs3zs6jn1d]

This is somehow proof that the field sobriety test is just entertainment for the police. I once had a dashcam video of my best friend singing the alphabet song like a kid when he got pulled over drunk. That sh!+ was hilarious! Im glad the cops got him too.best thing to ever happen to him,and no one got hurt that night

[@toni929ann]

I feel bad for poor Stan😂

[@mango_is_alive1]

“What seems to be the officer problem?” I love this

[@TheSydneyLad]

Brilliant. @ 1:07 you can see on the door of the car it has written "To Patronize and Annoy".

[@badgirlgigix3]

good observation

[@michaellynes3540]

0:37 Kyle: Dude, I think you’re being followed. Randy: Oh yeah… Get off my ass, dickhole!🖕 Cartman: No, dude, it’s the police. Randy: Oh crap!

[@blazebrodypc2006official]

Randy: Here, hold this.

[@michaellynes3540]

@@blazebrodypc2006official Police Officer: License and registration, please.

[@Origin_59]

Randy was so professional in front of the office when he was in the car, i thought there wasn't anything wrong

[@alexanderblack827]

It was totally irresponsible of Randy to drive drunk! He and the boys could have been seriously hurt. And he mixed up his words too ( “What seems to be the officer, problem?”).

[@RealNahuelBarcelo06]

1:18 oh no the t pose, OH GOD THE OFFICER IS ASSERTING DOMINANCE

[@tahraethestoryteller6079]

If you look closely you’ll see Randy’s pants are still unbuckled from when he was peeing And the officer that pulled him over is the same that tried to warn the others about the hologram Micheal Jackson and Tupac

[@insane_monkey]

0:59

[@ieradossantos]

I love the script in all these descriptions

[@Hangar1318]

What seems to be the Ociffer Problem

[@aqueen04]

Randy still handled his arrest better than most Karens lol.

[@aingemechanic]

Hands down the funniest character 🤣 😂

[@92irishjoe]

The side of the police car says "To Patronize and Annoy" XD

[@grokeffer6226]

Randy should just stick to smoking reefers. M'Kay ??

[@palwatcher6903]

and surprisingly, Cartman didn’t spread it around the following morning.

[@CrossoverFan4life]

he can relate to this with his mom

[@yourharish]

What seems to be the officer problem. Just brilliant 😁😁

[@magiccookies420]

One of my favorite South Park scenes

[@davidpeters2625]

Weirdly enough, I remember seeing those "Drive Sober, or Get Pulled Over" PSAs.... it still sticks with me, maybe forever...