What They DON'T Tell You During Autism Evaluation and Diagnosis!

[@TheAwetist802]

Dear parents. Hey. An Adult Autistic here. Please know that what the professionals understand about Autism and Neurodiversity is very very limited at this point in time. Medical doctors and psychiatrists are slowly gaining more insight into what Autism really is and what it really is like and the more they listen to the lived experiences and insights of the Autistic community, the more accurate and complete their understanding becomes. Please know: it is extremely likely that nothing "caused" your child's Autism, except their genes!! Autism is a neurotype and it is a natural variation of being human. We have always been here. We just used to be labeled with different words, in the past, not all of them very kind. Also, Autism is not behavioral. It is a different processing system. Autistic brains process sensory input, environments, relationships, communications differently than neurotypical (NT) brains but that does NOT mean that Autistic children are less intelligent, less empathic, less emotional, nor less perceptive than their neurotypical peers. This does not mean that your Autistic child inherently has less potential to thrive than their NT peers, either. Autistic kids just need more supports and accommodations in order to navigate societal structures built for the NT operating system. Hold onto that, if you can, and don't lose sight of the incredible strengths and amazing qualities your child has, despite expressing and functioning in ways that are different than their age peers and/or siblings (if any). What looks like bad behavior or willful defiance or lack of cooperation or a temper tantrum is most often a child being overstimulated and overwhelmed and their fundamental needs are not being met. It is not easy dealing with Autistic meltdowns or shutdowns but it does become easier to develop strategies for getting through them in a healthy way once you understand what is really causing them. But life raising an Autistic child can be wonderful (albeit exhausting). I want to let you know that we can grow up to be and do so much... If we are allowed to grow according to our own neurodivergent map. For parents with non-verbal children: I have found great success in using a visual language or color code with young kids who are drawing, doodling, or coloring but not writing words yet. It helps a lot of them to draw pictures or cartoons of what they need and how they feel OR to use a code of colors, shapes, and lines for desired actions, objects, or feelings (like yellow for want, orange for need, a yellow oval for I want a banana, blue for sad, green for anxious, double green for panic, green plus a black dot for I can't, etc). This, as a precursor or alternative to assisted communications with a device, can help families who are struggling with not knowing how to communicate with their child nor do they easily understand what their child needs, wants, feels. I assure you that your non-verbal child likely comprehends a LOT more than you may think, even though they themselves are not using words (or sometimes can't use words). Older children, adolescents, and teens might write or type what they need to communicate. I have selective/situational mutism and I write out what I need to say but also, at times, use this doodle/color and shape code, as an adult, with my teenager and with my peers, friends, colleagues when I can't verbalize. I strongly encourage parents of Autistic/ND kids to seek out groups of Autistic adults online and in person, in order to ask questions, to see what the lives of Autistic people can be, and to also see where we need advocacy, education, increased and expanded support and accommodation, and where it is we need to push for advances in our human and civil rights. YES, it is true, for those of us who were subjected to certain therapeutic modalities, they were traumatizing and abusive and did us far more harm than good. It is good to listen to those experiences, too, and to keep an open mind about what will help your child thrive and lead a fulfilled life and what will do just the opposite. Most of all, we all know that you all want the very best for your child(ren) and that you love them... Most of all, just know that, despite our challenges, most of us are proud to be Autistic! We experience many blessings because we are Autistic. And I, for one, would never choose to not be Autistic, if there was ever a choice to be made. I am a better artist, a better dad, a better support as a mentor for Autistic/ND youth and as a counselor for my peers, a better friend,... I am a happier, more awe-inspired, creative, sensual, and vibrantly alive person because of my Autism. Sorry for the novella here. I just felt compelled to offer an inside perspective and maybe some hope to the parents who come here looking for community, for information, for some relief from their fear or anxiety. A great resource for seeking information about Autism from the Autistic community is ASAN: the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network. Another is the blog collective Neuroclastic. I am not affiliated with either. There are a LOT of adult Autistic vloggers on KZbin and many of them have a wealth of information to share, as well as giving you a glimpse into their daily lives and lived experience. Thank you for these videos. You've got a new subscriber! Keep on doing this great work and for being such an affirming and empowering parent.

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

I appreciate the time you took to write this post. Thank you so much for sharing such valuable insight.

[@TheAwetist802]

@@NurturingNeurodiversity ~ you are so very welcome and thank you for all that you are doing, as a parent, and for the community! I have a caveat to place here. Since writing this comment a few weeks ago, I have become a contributing author for NeuroClastic. So I *am* now affiliated with that blog site/collective of Autistic advocates.

[@mellissarobinson9744]

So grateful for this comment and this video. We are going through the assessment process for our little one and I felt so lost. These suggestions are very helpful.

[@JS-mg9kr]

Amazing... Wonderful...very very useful for me... I am saying my heartful gratitude to this comment... May the Grace of God pour on you...

[@ChristophersMum]

Don't worry...I love long stories...thank you for your experiences, they are all grist to the grind... I have only been diagnosed as an adult at 73!!... So learning about others histories is fascinating...

[@whitneymason406]

I went through the roller coaster of emotions a lot of mothers go through when I got my son's autism diagnosis when he was 2.5 years old. I was devastated and did cry a lot. I did endlessly Google everything on autism. I did wonder what caused his autism as no one in my family or my husband's had any history of it. This summer I actually was on KZbin and I kept getting recommendations for videos on autism and how it can present differently in females. I finally clicked on a video and almost had a panic attack when I realized I was on the spectrum myself. I always battled with social anxiety and depression and really had to work hard in school but I would hyper focus and get decent grades that it flew under everyone's radar. I recently got my own autism diagnosis and now we have some extended family members seeing themselves on the spectrum as well now. I'm incredibly grateful for my son and helping us find out about ourselves. Thanks for sharing this video!

[@whitneymason406]

@Ignace Alli riiiight

[@Kawaii_Rockie]

“Parenting is about loving and raising and supporting the child that you have-not the child you maybe thought you would have” This hit home for me. I’m currently waiting on medical diagnosis for my 2 year old son. He hasn’t said one word yet and has a speech, occupational, and development therapist already. I felt soo bad and guilty and sad-just a sea of emotions because my son doesn’t “function” like the other children. He’s delayed at least 50% in most areas and I just find myself crying and hating life most days. But your comment about what parenting really is brought me back to reality. Thank you for that ♥️

[@Bellabellasugar]

Raqueal Henry iam currently going through the same thing , has anything gotten better ?

[@husseinbeydoun1382]

hang in there, you are not alone

[@bright6200]

You are not alone my 2 and a half year old has not said a word yet but we think he is fine just speech delayed

[@Kawaii_Rockie]

@@Bellabellasugar yes, his little personality is beginning to flourish and I have him in daycare and special Ed class through cps so things are getting better slowly. Hang in there mama ♥️

[@bright6200]

@@Kawaii_Rockie when did your child say their first word?

[@susiejones3238]

Love this video, I'm constantly in waved of tears and then feelings of everything will be ok. I love how strong you are, inspiring

[@charleelooo]

Thank you for all your videos we are at 18 months where the health visitors saying hes fine but hes not responding, gesturing, talking ect its frustrating and wanting hearing tests when he can hear perfectly fine. All my friends children are talking and I can’t interact with my child. My partner is in denial. Im having a hard time with it at the moment. But thank you for putting me at ease and for all your health.

[@leddose7701]

This is the best video I've seen in my life. I want the entire world to see this.

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

Thank you so much! ❤❤❤

[@cdao85]

Thank you for soothing a worried mother’s heart ❤️

[@catherinequeally2065]

I’m so glad I found this channel, it’s saving my sanity! Currently in the no mans land of pre assessment.. some days I’m 100% sure my son has autism and other days I’m 90% sure he doesn’t 🤯 these videos are really helping me to be calm and positive..no matter what will come down the line x

[@AhorreYgane]

it just sunk to me i didn’t wanted to accept it

[@gabrielabrown8830]

The first video on ASD that has made me feel good for once. Thank you

[@kimimartin3419]

I love this video! I have never gotten emotional faster than when a psychologist started explaining my child to me like someone who finally understood my child! It was such a rush of relief to know someone saw and understood.

[@naomie6415]

Thank you so so much for your videos. I am currently terrified of the unknown while waiting on my daughters autism diagnosis. Watching your videos really do help, I often find myself awake at night worrying but watching your videos manage to relax me and stop me from freaking out. You are wonderful and you really do make a difference.

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

It means a lot to hear that, thank you. The early days are hard, but you won't always feel so emotionally vulnerable, I promise. xx

[@owlknickerknots2607]

Just a heads up living with a disability is tough ! Many people won’t treat you like a human being ! Minorities are equal too we all are equal and we need to stop putting others down! Let’s end hate together !

[@AshJ2203]

I’m a newbie here. I know this is an old video but I loved it! My almost 3 year old has his ADOS eval on Wednesday and to say I’m nervous is an understatement..not so nervous to get a diagnosis but I’m nervous they won’t see what we see, cause to us it’s very obvious that he is most likely autistic. Anyway I’m glad I found your channel!

[@JamboRiffs]

You are doing a wonderful job. You are helping many parents and families through difficult times with your calm and caring videos.

[@milanorichie]

You are so amazing with presenting information. My daughter isn't on the spectrum but she has a disability and your videos help me so much. I'd been following you since your first videos and am so glad you are posting more often now.

[@riteshlal7523]

Hey.. I subscribed to your channel just two days back as I have a son who is 3.5 years old and showing few of the red flag signs that made me worry a lot .. Google a lot .. get depressed a lot and what not . But let me tell you and everyone who has subscribed to your channel .. "You are a true true true inspiration" and I can say this 1000 times for you !!! I bet everyone here agrees with me too. This was the first video which gave me a spark to get back in my shoes and do the best for my son that I can. Thankyou so very much. Will love to stay in touch with u all through this channel to share my experiences.

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

This comment means everything to me! Thank you. Please keep an eye out for a video I'm going to putting out soon. Im launching a community to try and connect us all. We're all in this together 🤗

[@gypsysoul4683]

Absolutely! I just found your channel a few days ago. Digging through the rabbit hole. Your allowing me to dig myself out of that hole. And put focus on the areas that’s needed. My son is showing some little signs. Awaiting his appointment for speech referral. Thank you so much!

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

@@gypsysoul4683 *you're

[@alexlowe6511]

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 Have a cookie! 🍪

[@kirstysanderson5330]

I found your channel and its honestly helping me so much!! Currently going through the process and it's so hard. Watching your channel has made me smile, cry, laugh but mainly given hope. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.

[@evemohammed6334]

I truly loved your videos! I honestly got more understanding from your videos than I have had from any doctor, specialist or therapist in the last 6 months. I’ve cried on and off of course because everything you have shared about your son is what I’ve experienced with mine. You do give me hope for a brighter tomorrow for my baby. Thank you ❤️

[@belleandaya6767]

Your words are so inspirational. Watching this video makes me feel good. We have the same age of our sons. I hope in God's perfect time they will be able to learn all the things they need to know to cope up and survive when we are not beside them anymore. God bless you.

[@sandraoware186]

Love your videos, every single one. This is the only autism channel I have watched without crying. You are so brave and amazing. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

[@yvettecummings3418]

I really loved your video. It was very clear and you spoke about important issues that I believe passionately about, in particular being there for your child. I have been an educator for the past 28 plus years and I have had the pleasure of teaching a wide range of autistic children and young adults, many of whom have skills far beyond neurotypical people, many of whom have gone on to be highly successful in the field of music. I have delivered some lessons where the student chose to be nonverbal but communicated with me via music alone, but I was acutely aware that the parents were trying to manipulate the child’s behaviour to fit social norms, which for me was not OK. It was stressful for the child and interrupted the unique communication we had built up. It is so important for every person to be truly seen and accepted, and for their unique viewpoint to be appreciated. I have Tourette’s myself and am almost certainly somewhere on the spectrum. I find social situations extremely difficult and am often aware that both my behaviour and speech patterns are unusual. I often feel that I am odd or that I am avoided but actually I prefer to be a spectator and social analyst than part of the noisy throng. I am carrying out educational research at my place of work which is not connected with neurodiverse people, however, I am an avid reader of current research on the subject and very happy to comment on my on experiences as a teacher and as a currently undiagnosed individual.

[@AmazingMavis]

Thank you so much for this video and creating your channel. I am just starting the evaluation process for my almost-2 year old in the US, and you’re so right - it does feel lonely and like I’m not “part of the club” yet. So grateful to have found your channel, and your boys are beautiful! :)

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment. You are in the most difficult part of the journey, but it gets so much easier, I promise. Don't let it get in the way of enjoying your beautiful child. x

[@montessoriwayofteaching4242]

AmazingMavis hi. have you ever check your child’s aluminum and mercury level in blood ? If not, please, please check

[@jkay8320]

Just watched Ur video 12/18mo red flags The un known is the worst, my son at 3.5yo got diagnosed last month, his non verbal, like Ur son my son is very loving, laughs,comes and gives me cuddles, just started watching the a word, We knew there was something different but thought it was ADHD from his dad, I sound so selfish but I'm so upset for him not to understand simple things or getting bullied, his such a happy boy and I love him so much, but theirs so many emotions U go through and U feel like u can't talk to people about it what U said about the pointing he doesn't do, I'm trying to teach him to do it , uve videos are so relatable, thank u

[@richa123ization]

It's inspiring to see you being so positive and amazing about everything

[@videosaver1934]

Thank you so much for your videos. Your encouragement means a lot to me. My 18 months baby is suspected to have autism and we're waiting for him to be diagnosed. I feel sad and depressed but I don't have anyone to talk to because my husband and I decided to wait until he's diagnosed for us to share his condition with friends and family. I tried to talk to my husband about my worries and fears but he said doesn't wanna talk about it. I guess he's in denial much more than I am. It's really hard for me. I cry when I am just by myself.

[@CloudPixelRetro]

Thank you so much for the videos you are making. You are absolutely right that there is not enough support for undiagnosed cases. I actually just thought that my son had some developmental delays and that he had some quirky behaviours, but I never even considered autism. But then the doctor did an over the phone appointment (because of COVID) for his 24 month check. She said she was concerned about some of my answers and that I had to fill in an ASQ and also an M-chat questionnaire. She also booked us in for an hour long appointment at the centre because she needed to see him in person. At the end of the appointment, I asked her what she thinks it is and she said: “ I can’t say 100%, but he’s definitely showing signs of autism”. So now we are filling in forms for referrals to primary care and disability services and we have been put on a waiting list for a hearing test. But he’s not deaf; he loves music. Just like your son, my lad drops everything when a theme tune comes on, runs to the tele and just stares at it and sometimes does his rocking and hand flapping to it. I’ve just been on such an emotional rollercoaster, even at this early stage, I feel like there should be some kind of parents support group even for this undiagnosed stage. I am really struggling with his meltdowns in public. I feel completely overwhelmed and alone because this is my first child and I am living in Ireland away from all my relatives who are in north of England. Obviously we have been separated for a long time because of travelling restrictions. Ireland is very strict. Sorry for rambling on so much. Just had a lot to get out. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with all of us

[@sisikwesi540]

This is the best autism video I’ve watched. You are a very clever woman. You’ve nailed this. I have always said to people that autism diagnosis is subjective. How can there be more than 40 indicators of risk on the spectrum; most of which can also be ticked off as typical toddler behavior? My 10 year old was diagnosed at age 7 and his progress in the past three years has made his doctor suggest that he was probably misdiagnosed. We live in the United States and here an autism diagnoses is the norm in my view. My 2 year old has delayed speech; so we are at it again but I am not at all worried because I know it’s all subjective. He will speak and socialize when he’s ready.

[@sharacy889]

I couldn't agree with you more, you got this!

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

You are so kind, thank you! I think too often people see mental health diagnoses as black-and-white answers, but they're ridiculously subjective. I'm not saying they're not helpful in many cases, but we as parents certainly shouldn't be dwelling on them. In many ways i wish we labelled learning styles and specific difficulties instead of broad spectrum conditions. I plan on doing a video about this but it might be a little bit controversial! Thank you for watching ❤

[@Forentertainmentpurposes721]

Thank you so much for making your videos I've been going through this with my son and asking myself these same questions and I got a lot out of this just knowing I'm not alone. Subscribed.

[@MyRed555]

My little boy has had his diagnosis this week. He is nearly 3. We have known since he was 18 months old. I bloody love him.

[@Level_Up_SK]

Your amazing...thank you for all this information. Our son has a evaluation scheduled for the end of this month and we are on the edge.

[@Applesama1412]

Thank you really i need to hear this! The diagnosis was a disaster they told us there is no hope 💔 but i believe in my son and i will love him no matter what they labeled him.. my son is 2.5 and i'm really excited after seeing Dexter use pointing for his needs.. by the way my boy is obsessed with numbers and letters too!

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

Why was it a disaster? Hes still the same child you gave birth to the one you are supposed to love no matter what

[@tabitas.2719]

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 She literally said she will love him no matter what. Also, the process of any diagnosis can be a disaster - that is how I read smart apple's comment. :)

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

@@tabitas.2719 how can a 10 minute appointment be a disaster?

[@kittykitty1402]

WoW! Thank you so much for this video. At this point of my life I really needed to hear this. This definitely is a game changer for me.

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

So lovely to hear that, thank you!

[@Mspowell30]

🙏🏾🙌🏾

[@michaelaondekova1360]

Absolutely needed to hear that, as if you speak from my mind, thank you ❤

[@StephyPaige98]

Masking, so true, thank you for mentioning this! Not only can it have an impact on mental health but it is also common to end up with physical health issues, even chronic pain and autoimmune conditions. Not fun 😓

[@muhammadakifnaseer7834]

Thank you very much for sharing your experience and thoughts. My only son who is two and a half years old, has shown developmental delays, especially in communication (both non verbal and verbal). Besides, he has fear of walking on his own. Sometimes we blame ourselves for allowing him too much screen time (iPad and TV). He learned complete A, B, C and counting up to 10, from the screen, and a few shapes as well. However, he doesn't listen to us. Almost no communication at all. Previously, he used to make eye contact if anyone read poems that he had already heard from screen, but now most often he would put his hand on our mouths, telling to stop. Our major concern so far has been his inability to walk independently. Although he is perfectly capable, he somehow fears it outside a specific area.

[@tabitas.2719]

If he has autism do not blame yourselves (about the screen time)! :) You could try analyzing what he reacts to negatively - maybe your voices are too loud for him when he is already overstimulated and that is why he covers your mouths, you could try lowering your voices; or maybe it's just a phase and has already passed as I am writing this. As long as you are there emotionally and explain the world to him and ask him if he is afraid and then assure him that you are there and there is no pressure on him - I am sure you will all develop good relationships and he will find his place. Depending on his age walking independently may be "normal"/to be expected and he may outgrow it or you may have to find creative ways to get him to relax/forget about it/walk him through it. Thank you for sharing and God bless you!!

[@jenwylie4093]

Thank you for making these videos. I love how positive your videos are.

[@tingyang5619]

Love everything you said in this video. Thank you.

[@yadirarigual3484]

Thank you for this video, I really need it to hear all of this. Doctors won't tell you anything. And then the lack of support for us parents is immense. Thank you for sharing! God bless 🧡💙🧩

[@johndoyel8758]

Thank you for this video...feeling very alone right now. Your videos have been good for us to watch. Just hoping to help my son.

[@rakelperez1768]

I know you commented 2 months ago on this, but I feel exactly the same way my little guy has been diagnosed a week ago, and I’m just trying to learn as much as I can, and just trying to get passed the heart broken feeling I have. Just help my baby as much as I can.

[@Vgallo]

My mrs is trying to build a daycare/support group for other mums in our area.

[@ThePsmith1985]

I’ve probably mentioned this before. I’m in Scotland. My daughter was diagnosed 2/3 weeks before her 3rd birthday. Which is really early here. Tends to be about 4.5. Again I don’t know if you’re different down there but they don’t give a level of autism here. I reckon my child is moderate autism due to lack of words and understanding. No pointing etc etc but I hope much like my brother she will be high functioning. He has came on so much. Hoping the same for her.

[@michaelcraig2450]

I really needed this video.... thank you.

[@AshleyMarie-fh9dr]

Love this video! Currently in the diagnosis process with my 30 month old daughter.

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

There is no such age as 30 months

[@tabitas.2719]

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 30 months would be the equivalent of two and a half years; it is uncommon to express it that way, but not incorrect. :)

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

@@tabitas.2719 after 23 months you count in years not months otherwise you could say i was 360 months old

[@tabitas.2719]

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 I'd agree with you roughly; never heard of a hard line though - and, at least in jest, I have heard and used months with older people... :D

[@AhorreYgane]

my son it’s 3 years old and he was diagnose at 2

[@gs-vg8uf]

Thank you for this. I have been searching for anyone or anything that focuses on the positive aspects of ASD - that realizes that maybe it's not something to be 'fixed' but to be celebrated. Humanity is better because of ASD. (10.55)

[@lilblacklamb222]

I hate the wait...my daughter will be 3 in november and she's just been referred for assessment but the wait list is over a year long. She will be at lest 4 and 1/2 before we can get proper help :-(

[@katerinaknight855]

You are truly amazing!

[@aabarcellos]

1000 possible genes , but 80 % likely. All true not exact , but acceptance of child and nuture strengths with thanks for the gains every child differs and try and look after yourself. Love your videos.

[@sandraryan7713]

Love your videos. Really good information. Thanks

[@rebeccarussell9618]

Hello thank you for your videos we are in the uk and before diagnosis for our son mason..it's a very lonely place to be in limbo

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

It gets better I promise. Don't do what i did with Dex and lose Mason's precious early years to worry and fear. It will all work out. Try and look on some autism chat forums online. I found an amazing group of women and started a WhatsApp chat with them. We were all pre diagnosis with young toddlers at the time. 2 years on and we still chat every day and I've met them all in real life too. :)

[@latashapomerantz3872]

Thank you I needed to hear this today❤❤

[@abnernyachiro6595]

Thanks for this video. Very helpful

[@gilbertpallarca1458]

Hi i have a 2.8.yr old son and he diagnosed asd level 3 ,im worried as a first time parent if he will be ok,,i cant sleep well at night worrying about his condition

[@tabitas.2719]

Don't worry! Work toward changing autism awareness - as this channel does, so you could share it with family and friends interested - and be the best supporting and loving parent to him you can be! Yes, issues connected to his asd will arise, but with children, and humans in general, you never know what will happen. Having a level 3 diagnosis, he needs a lot more support, but I am sure you can do it - get the help you need

[@mrslgosh5974]

You’re amazing, thank you!

[@riteshlal7523]

Just an in general question to all on this channel.. my son sings a lot many poems and rhymes on his own..counts from 1 to 20 .. and repeats few words ..but when it comes to verbal communication he does not. Looks really strange to me ..one hand he is singing on the other hand we can't make him say "ball" , "dog" .. anyone else with a similar case who can share more info on this behaviour. Thanks in advance.

[@bhoomikaverma1194]

Plz consult a developmental pediatrician...my son does the same and is diagnosed with ASD.

[@Nikkimorox1]

My 3 year old son, soon to be 4 has autism and is exactly the same, no communication yet he can recite songs and cartoons he watches on his kindle. He can name every animal, shape, colour number and alphabet but he cant call for me or his Dad, he doesnt respond to his name, he cant tell me he wants a drink or if he is sore or needing the toilet. I'm hopeful it will develop as there was a time we thought he may never talk as he didnt say any words from the age of 1 and a half to 3.

[@kiamavani]

@@Nikkimorox1 same with my son..

[@ozsdcontentcreator1068]

It's a shame that some people who have autism have to wait until they are adults to get a diagnosis of autism

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

Yes it really is.

[@isaacs8783]

mostly girls unfortunately. they're misdiagnosed with depression, BPD or just told they're faking.

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

If you get to adulthood without diagosis you have Aspergers not Autism

[@ozsdcontentcreator1068]

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 no it isn't sorry but you clearly don't know what you're talking about

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

@@ozsdcontentcreator1068 i have Aspergers so yes i do know what im talking about

[@ashleyballard7364]

My son was diagnosed yesterday he is autistic , Ashton is 3 and is non verbal and stems

[@sharacy889]

Your video was so excellent i'm so happy I listened but I think its necessary at this stage to keep fighting to find out the cause, that's how we will continue to have major break throughs. I get that acceptance is a major factor in this process but accepting doesnt always mean letting go of finding the cause to ensure we will find better treatments (as with so many other medical conditions). I love everything you said, keep up the great work and you are the best for your son.

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

You're completely right! Finding the cause for each individual is essential for developing strategies that will help them cope with their individual challenges. Perhaps I should have worded it differently. I do 100% agree it is important to look into the underlying factors, especially if there are other difficulties (such as physical health issues), but I guess the point I was making is that at this stage (and definitely in the majority of countries, including the UK), beyond basic genetic testing, they will not take investigations any further, so that's when as a parent you have to stop wondering or you'll drive yourself mad. You make an excellent point though, science should continue to research this area so as a society we can equip ourselves with the understanding we need to help autistic individuals to the best of our ability. I fully support this. Thank you for your comment.

[@sharacy889]

@@NurturingNeurodiversity You are so right, it's a battle at times for me I think especially because my son's diagnosis is currently development delay. As I work in scientific research I see how crucial it is for us to keep pushing ourselves to break new boundaries, and yet as a parent it is crucial to find peace... move forward and not get trapped in some of these complex components. I think you worded it right, i just wanted to highlight this side as well. You brought across so many points that I too realize they dont give in the appointments especially about the support before the diagnosis and its so important to share that their brains can adapt and how unkind masking may be, I wouldnt want that for my boy either. We as a community have to be there for each other. Thank you so much for helping me find support and clarity, cheers to our little boys ❤

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

Haha! I work in scientific research too so I TOTALLY get where you are coming from! It is an internal battle, always, even after diagnosis (if you receive one). I think this is especially true if you work in a field like ours and you're accustomed to always questioning everything. I find everything in the field of mental health is a 'grey area,' but in a way that actually offers me comfort too. Thank you for watching the video. Our little boys are going to grow into such wonderful people, I'm sure of it. By the way, there is a very strong link between children with parents in scientific, financial, analytical, medical or musical careers who show high intelligence in certain areas and significant social/communication delays/difficulties. Might be worth checking out if you think it might apply to your situation? The brain can't be great at everything right? ;-)

[@sharacy889]

@@NurturingNeurodiversity Oh my Gosh! We are living similar lives! You'll have a daughter next 😉, our boys will be wonderful people! My son's challenges are mainly his language delay or its atypical development, and from day 1 I have pushed for all the treatment and interventions I felt appropriate for him. I'm not concerned presently about diagnosing primarily because he is rapidly changing and its like you said we are already doing/ actively treating. Like you I think behavioral therapy has its place and I have my reservations... I am present for everything and know that what may be best for others may not be best for my child. Yes to our profession and questionning everything and its not hard to do so with the nature of these disorders and their diagnostic processes. We are apparently AUSome moms, curse us for being in these fields *joke... i love it* ! I try not to take myself too seriously sometimes too (means of survival and being able to enjoy life), their brains can't be great at everything!! Ditto!!!

[@sisikwesi540]

My 10 year old autistic son has challenges in language comprehension and articulation but when he signed up for music instrument class; his saxophone instructor taught the notes once and by the end of the 35 minute class my son was playing the saxophone like he had played it all his life. His instructor called my husband to inquire if my son had been playing sax for sometime and he said nope... I guess all our kiddos are very good at something which we need to find out and support them on instead of focusing on what they can’t do.

[@melaniedaniel1398]

Hi I enjoy your videos. I love your activities too. Can you do more videos highlighting the activities that you do with Dexter

[@shaylynnstanhope6439]

Hello currently going through the whole testing stage right now, its so exhausting, family isn't being supportive they say "oh don't worry hes fine, sometimes babies act weird blah blah blah..." how did you deal with family and friends that arnt supportive. I live in Texas in the US and people around us act like its not a real thing

[@tabitas.2719]

As an adult I have found (and heard others say) that it can be easier to explain individual symptoms as the need arises rather than a whole diagnosis - that is helpful for official usage, like doctor appointments, therapy, schooling etc. - because people are more likely to relate and be accepting of "sensitive hearing" than of a whole diagnosis that comes with a history, stereotypes and misconceptions. Also, hang in there! I'm assuming and praying your family will probably come around as your child grows older and can express themself. All the best to you and your family!!

[@clairemacgillivray515]

Just at the start of my journey with my son Harrison (19 months old) no diagnosis yet but pretty confident after watching some of the videos on your channel. Could you recommend any websites or suggestions on what to do next? I’m going to call my health visitor on Monday to get on waiting list I suppose, any other suggestions would be appreciated, many thanks Claire MacGillivray. Stay safe 🌈

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

Love your son dont bother with health visitors they no nothing about children also why are you telling her to stay safe there is nothing to be unsafe from

[@franny5295]

Kids that appear to outgrow autism have usually matured enough immunologically to overcome an undiagnosed severe yeast overgrowth. The symptoms are actually the same in little kids. Even with kids that are legitimately autistic correcting yeast problems can go a long way to helping their symptoms.

[@tabitas.2719]

Huh, I haven't heard that before - do you have some research on that? I'd like to look into it more. :)

[@franny5295]

@@tabitas.2719 I don't but there's a ton of research out there on it. You just have to look.

[@aichagoulhiane357]

I am truly proud of you !

[@gerigame2995]

Little passed 3am and I'm really down about my 18month year old. Hardly looks in the eye, no pointing, speech regression from 6words at 11months to none. It worse cos she used to speak n used to point and say baby to s picture of a baby or daddy but nothing now... Also had delay feeding or putting anything in her mouth apart from dummy, n didn't like to have messy hands.

[@tabitas.2719]

Have you been able to see a specialist by now? Regression could also point to other things, but I am no expert - praying for you and your family!

[@tinaspinozzi]

This video was very helpful thankyou😊

[@chapelleobrien2956]

Thank you very much for this video! It has been very helpful and comforting. Question, do you feel that having this diagnosis has helped you or him in anyway?. The work and effort being put into his progress has it changed? Increased?

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

The best thing about my son getting diagnosed was that it helped us secure funding for a 1 to 1 support at his nursery and she has been absolutely AMAZING for him. She advocates for him and encourages him to participate in activities he wouldn't have before. On the flip side, his diagnosis has lead some people to make many assumptions about him that aren't true. In many ways he is 'the little boy with autism' rather than just 'Dexter' which isn’t great. But, that being said, on the whole diagnosis has done more good than bad and I’m glad he was diagnosed early. Thank you so much for watching the video and for your lovely comment!

[@tabitas.2719]

Watching autistic adults' videos on whether or not to get a diagnosis - it is an individual choice - the ones I watched agreed that it is generally helpful for children as they get support at the nursery, in school... On the other hand, if an autistic has gone their entire life without being diagnosed, they may opt out of an official diagnosis as there is less support and more stigma. Overall, it depends on the individual circumstances.

[@MadHatter0616]

"it's going to be ok. I promise it's going to be ok" and I'm already crying. 😅 First early intervention evaluation for my son is next week. I'm a mess lolol

[@MadHatter0616]

@I Love The Colour Pink really?? They said it was going to be 2-3 hours but no idea why it'd be that long

[@MadHatter0616]

@I Love The Colour Pink fingers crossed!!!

[@NurturingNeurodiversity]

Ignore 'I Love The Colour Pink' he/she is a troll. That's not how assessment works at all. Good luck with everything , it WILL be fine ❤

[@MadHatter0616]

@@NurturingNeurodiversity thank you 💙 it took 2.5 hours they now want another hearing screening (3rd one since birth now) and a follow up evaluation after. 😕 Wish I'd get an answer already but thankfully they are starting speech therapy and OT while we keep playing the wait and see game.

[@MadHatter0616]

@I Love The Colour Pink Seemed thorough more than ridiculous tbh. They came to the house and the speech pathologist spent majority of the time evaluating different types of play and how he interacted with her. The social worker asked me questions in multiple categories and did the basic Mchat stuff. Each section had about 15-20 questions that we talked about in detail. Then the two compared notes and scores and the speech pathologist asked a few more questions. After that we went over insurance and schedule for his therapies and got the audiologist referral in place. It seemed like they covered all bases and really got a good look at everything that's going on and what steps to take next.

[@Cecethegreat37]

Thank you for this video 💜💜💜

[@biancanjeba4723]

Thanks so much for this

[@pushpageorge4371]

Very sensible views!

[@nicoledeherrera9294]

Do you have any additional information for parents awaiting an evaluation and diagnosis?

[@tabitas.2719]

I'd encourage you/them to inform themselves as to what helps reduce stress in everyday life and start implementing that - it's what I'm doing as an adult who's likely on the spectrum and hasn't gotten to the evaluation and diagnosis yet; and don't forget that you as the parents also need time to process and work through it in your own way!

[@jillbatherton]

thanks...just thanks

[@MsTerttu]

Thank you for this!

[@jasirysantos8656]

Very helpful Thank You 🙏😊

[@jessicalouisekennard]

My son is 20 months.... when is the best time to get evaluated? My son has a lot of red flags, should I just wait till about 3 as well?

[@arshiyakarimi]

no never pls.. if he gets help now.. he will be in par with others by 5 .. dont ever wait

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

I have a question and that is why should kids be forced through therapy for autism when it does nothing to help them? I have Aspergers not autism never knew until I was 21 never had any therapy any help or anything don’t need it

[@tabitas.2719]

I never was diagnosed, made it to adulthood - however, my parents definitely helped me by talking about what is socially acceptable etc. (yes, part of that is normal parenting, but they did it to a degree that neurotypical children do not need :)) I fully agree though that certain therapy that wants to force the child to act fully neurotypical and makes them uncomfortable etc. are harmful and should not be dumped on the child!

[@erinlizbeth4338]

Hi. I just found your channel. I'm the mom of a 19 month old girl...we have testing on Tuesday for a diagnosis. I've worked with Autistic children and adults for over 10 years and honestly...I have no idea what I'm missing in my daughter. She is speaking yet...thats all I'm seeing but...I suppose only time will tell. Anyway...thank you for creating this channel ♡

[@gonnfishy2987]

I love this description, feeling in “no man’s land”

[@nixigg]

Your brilliant xx

[@jjb494]

Are u comfortable with giving them their shots?

[@addiomondo4493]

You speak so well... in any way!

[@amnaali7471]

my son speak almost all words by copying us but he don’t know how to use them is this a sign of autism? he is 3 now

[@amnaali7471]

plz plz reply me after seeing my comment em very worried about my child

[@romi905]

If you are in the US, there's wellness check for your child and you can raise this concern with your pediatrician. You can also call early intervention for evaluation. Every child is different. Some pick up fast in some areas and some slow. I was non verbal until 2 years 10 months. And started talking all of a sudden that too in sentences.

[@simplyvince1744]

There is almost certainly a genetic component, even when they can't tell you the exact gene. The reason they can't find the exact gene is basically because they haven't done research. There's no research specifically to prevent people who do genetic testing before birth from knowing that their child is going to be autistic (the same goes for ADHD). They just don't want potential parents to make certain decisions that they wouldn't have otherwise made simply because the child is likely to be autistic (for example if the child is going to be otherwise perfectly "normal" then they don't want parents to just give up on their kid).

[@glamanesthesia5259]

I get so depressed My goal was 3 kids. Since mu first was diagnosed am so scared to have another. I just get depressed.i want her to be able.to live a full and independent life She is 2

[@gsingh4700gs]

All the best. Hang in there.

[@lilithvalentine4292]

I have 3 children my oldest who is 4 has autism; my 3 year old daughter has no sign of autism and she actually helps my son she gets him to say words and she helps him with social qs more.

[@SophieBird07]

I say don’t let that stop you. Even if they are all on the spectrum, it will be great, you will love them all, and they will have each other. You will likely regret not going for it rather than not taking the “risk”.

[@bellav487]

❤️

[@danielaculea8897]

Is there any research or advice for parents of autistic children who raise their children with 2 or more languages( see immigration situation) ?

[@tabitas.2719]

I do not know specifically for autistic children, but multilingualism enhances social understanding and confidence - therefore, it would make sense to me that multilingualism benefits the child unless they have a learning disability and their brain cannot handle multiple languages at once - however, that would not be about the autism then. I can only recommend checking out Tony Attwood - he has a lot of videos on KZbin about autism (recent research, differences in females on the spectrum...) - he might touch on it in one of his videos; if so I haven't come across it, but it's worth a try. A quick search hasn't brought anything up, but he has a (40 minute) presentation on good mental health (focusing on females and their typical autism symptoms): kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y5-ZeoqKh7t6m8k All the best and keep going strong!

[@ericahoxie269]

Read the book “Stop Autism Now”

[@tabitas.2719]

While there is some good awareness on healthier eating, I do not see how food before and during pregnancy will change your child's genes. Also, the sample size and how it was chosen does not look scientific to me. I believe there are better books to purchase with my money. Also, for me personally, the problem is society's intolerance of neurodivergent people, not the neurodiversity itself! (PS: when people talk about eradicating all anomalies I automatically think of the Third Reich and the Nazi inhumane experiments in concentration camps - so yes, as a German autistic I may have even more negative feelings...)

[@owlknickerknots2607]

#endhate

[@Camomile44]

"...I will say there is a very strong genetic link. It was written in their genes from the moment they were conceived." That's a rough quote of what you have said. I'm sorry but I don't agree with you there. As you may know Autism is sometimes described as an EARLY brain development disorder. Meaning something goes wrong during the early brain development in your child. Either in the womb (trauma while pregnant?), in labour (complications during delivery?) or even shortly after the baby was born (infection?) etc. While I don't disprove the genetic link theory, unless you have someone in the family with ASD, it is NOT the main cause for autism. As you may also know, in some cases there can be a very obvious regression in child's early development that leads to autism. So if that is the case, genes are not to blame. Environmental factors? More so. Also, you can find out the cause of YOUR own son's autism if you dig deep enough. My son, now 3.5 years old is awaiting his diagnosis and not a day goes by where I don't consider another possibility of the cause for his condition to be plausible. No one in my or my partner's family has had autism, so why my son? One day I will find out.

[@scheimaa172]

Well you can have children with albinism without knowing anyone in the family that has it, doesn't change that it's genetic. And it's possible that there are Autistic people in the family who don't have language or intellectual delays so people would just perceive them as weird but not Autistic.

[@Camomile44]

@@scheimaa172 No, albinism is a genetic condition ONLY. You can't get albinism because of environmental factors, like if you stay in the sun long enough 😂 Autism is not only genetic, like I said! Autistic people who dont have language or intellectual delays are called Aspies (Aspergers syndrome) hun. It's not the same as infantile Autism. Google it.

[@scheimaa172]

@@Camomile44 I get that. My point was that just because no one in the family has it doesn't mean it isn't genetic. And aspergers is now clinically on the Autism spectrum. No one gets diagnosed with aspergers anymore. There's also children who have speech delays and classical signs of autism from young age but develop their language skills and present like people with aspergers which they used to call high functioning autism. It's also not uncommon for parents and siblings of Autistic kids to have autism level 1 with or without language delays.

[@Camomile44]

@@scheimaa172 So what you're saying is that if a child who was diagnosed with severe, non verbal autism at the age of 3 is suddenly going to be a high functioning Aspie at the age of 12? Or become a savant like Rain Man? No, unfortunately that doesn't happen. For some it's just a high functioning autism right from the start and some still use the term Aspergers syndrome. So be careful with what you're saying as it can sound offensive to some families, who have autistic children. 🤷‍♀️ And you can't know 100% that the condition of your child is genetic until you do a genetics test! I'm actually awaiting the results of this test for my son right now!

[@scheimaa172]

@@Camomile44 There's a room for growth even for a child diagnosed with severe autism at the age of 3 and yes it does happen, the function labels can change with time. You can speculate about how he would be at age 12 but no one can say for sure. And I don't get why saying that can offend anyone.

[@katbrewer5961]

What about vaccinations? I'm almost 100% sure it was the vaccines since it started after the MMR. I was so wondering if you have the same suspicions? I'm very informed about the vaccine injury's here I. The US at least. I found your channel this evening and I'm VERY glad I did. Thank you so much for sharing! I do have a request if your accepting! Would you be able to do like kind of a day in the life with you and your children and husband if possible..I would love to compare my 2 1/2 year old daughter with Dexter, bc so far they act EXACTLY alike. Thank you again. I'm in a very scary place right now and you have helped a lot!

[@kaylamiller6649]

Vaccines DO NOT cause Autism. You are upset at the fact your child has autism and are trying to find something to blame it on. Autism is not a bad thing! Stop blaming and embrace it!

[@Elaine_S]

Kayla Miller shut the hell up. If you actually did research you would see plain as day that autism is cause by vaccines. Talk to any naturopath. The naturopath that are actually healing autism. Until then shut your face!

[@Elaine_S]

Kat Brewer, I agree with you 100%. I was bullied into vaccination by my boys pediatrician and now both are showing signs of autism when prior to MMR they were developing beautifully. My youngest is regressing and it is terrifying. He's only 2 and I just die inside when more "autism" symptoms start appearing. I have both boys on CBD, gluten/dairy/ casein free diet. My poor baby is in there but just so overloaded with toxins he can't come out. I think it's child abuse just to accept that your child is autistic and not try to help/heal them.

[@gypsysoul4683]

Kayla Miller what a terrible way to speak to a mother in an already vulnerable and desperate mindset. A mom who needs support and compassion. Not a higher hand swinging down telling them how to deal with something causing emotional trauma. There was a much kinder way to say what you were saying. Or better yet, don’t say it at all.

[@anordinarymom]

Seriously, I Love The Colour Pink?! Did you seriously just wish another mother's son a slow and painful death? You're a horrible person.

[@jesusismyking3040]

Jesus heals all!!!