What to do when you are in LOVE with an ALCOHOLIC | interracial Relationships | My Simple Truth

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[@tinywalnut6337]

It isn't just the threat of violence. My partner is so sweet, all the time, especially when he's drunk. But he's killing himself. There are rare moments of clarity where he'll admit it to himself as well, but it always feels like pulling teeth trying to get him to see it clearly enough to realize that his actions really do have real consequences.

[@dougbelford4796]

I've been there. He speaks the truth. The alcoholic either gives it up or it takes him down. Eventually.

[@TiffanyWestNyc]

I love him so much but I gotta let him go! No kids no nothing he was there when I had nothing!!! I love you J but I had to go I had to leave for the both of us! I hope you get better and find happiness

[@hashrosinking1608]

Your drinking alcohol in your first video. Cringe Alcoholics love Alcoholics.

[@samia6888]

@@hashrosinking1608 there is a difference between an alcoholic and someone who drinks occasionally. Not all those who drink are alcoholics.

[@BRenee1207]

Thank you for making this video. It was really helpful. I've been dating an alcoholic for about a year and finally hit my breaking point. The lies and aggression got to be too much. I do love him and believe he can change and be sober one day. He's done it in the past and he can do it again. He begs that I be there for him as support through this. And that he's fully committed. He started our relationship with an active addiction and was careless about it, hurting me and creating trauma in the process. I struggle with what period of time should go by to see if he's committed to sobriety. You mentioned at least 3 to 6 months. I guess there's no exact amount of time but that's a good starting point. I just have to move on and focus on taking care of myself in the present and hope for the best for him. Time will tell...

[@salmon3345]

I gave my fiance 2 years to stop drinking and she never did. I loved her so much but I had to finally leave for myself. I would find empty mini shots in the cabinets and trash. Constant lies and driving drunk. We both have kids from previous relationships. I just couldn’t do it anymore. Thank you for sharing

[@anthonygiachinta3056]

I did find people that have gone threw it and everyone says leave her you deserve better . Ten years of misery with this women . Not healthy people to be around

[@tham1353]

This video is the absolute truth. After many years of the chaos that alcoholism brought with it and not feeling safe, emotionally, mentally, socially, financially and doubting my physical safety due to his temper becoming more and more volatile and explosive. Sadly I felt I had no choice but to give that ultimatum and sadly I had no choice but to stick to it. I waited two and a half years after I moved out, but eventually I had to accept the situation for what it is and let go completely. Everyone who knows, does tell you it’s all you can do, but you do have to know it in your own heart yourself. And you do have to realise that when you make that choice it is for you and that it is not a selfish act, it’s an absolute necessity for you to take care of you. I didn’t like it but I accepted that I could do absolutely nothing about his addiction to alcohol other than allow my kids and myself to let go and concentrate on our own peace and our own healing. Your right it is an unbelievably traumatic thing for anyone to go through. I youst to be filled with sympathy for him and his situation but I agree, it is a choice. But it does all get easier with time, if you let it. I no longer think of any of what went on or him with any anger now. We still have love for him from afar. And that’s all for our own sake. Addiction is just a horrible thing for anyone to have any experience of and that’s all there is to it. And that includes for the loved ones of an alcoholic and those afflicted with addiction alike. But it does get better eventually for everyone who wants to survive it. You just have to choose to survive it. It’s not easy for anyone involved to make that choice, no matter how irrational that may seem to everyone else. But I’m glad I did, I wish he had too. But thats ok. If he feels that he is safer not allowing himself to feel or heal, I get it cos healing hurts like a B@tch!

[@ryanweston9677]

From someone who dated one for over 2 years, RUN the F away, unless they've been sober for a year. I know it's easier said than done.

[@TheFairlia]

They aren't capable of being in love because the love is alcohol 😢

[@Liz-in8lu]

Yep. Realized that, and tonight I said I don’t want to drink and he said okay see you tomorrow then.

[@laynewatson2448]

Thank you! This was super helpful. I’ve been on both sides as I’m a recovering heroin addict with a few years clean. However, I’ve forgotten to some degree what it was like when I was in the throes of my denial and addiction. I think loving an alcoholic has been the most challenging thing I have ever faced including overcoming my own drug addiction. The pain is almost unbearable but I know there is hope and I cling to that. Thank you for the encouragement and congratulations on your continued sobriety! We do recover!

[@mysimpletruth7904]

So awsome you are sober. Thank you for the comment. Out addiction is one thing but dealing with someone elses is completely different.

[@leilani6282]

There’s not a lot of videos that talk about the perspective of the ones affected by the alcoholic. Thank you for posting this. You explained it well. I couldn’t put it in words but you did. 😊

[@marystele1197]

I dont know if you meant to say enthralled with alcohol, or it was a Freudian slip. But you really hit the nail on the head, because that is just the right description of how in love they are with alcohol and not you. Also lots of loved ones have big problems with forgiveness and will not support addicts even when they try to get sober. Research in the UK, has shown that lack of support from devastated loves is a huge barrier in the recovery of an Alcoholic. It doesn't matter that an Alcoholic is out of control and can't help their behaviour. They have still lied, manipulated, cheated and stole from you. The hurt can be immense and feels impossible to get over..

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Everything you said is right on point. It is a very difficult situation and it challenges every part of our love, trust and protection skills of ourselves. Thabk you for the comment we really appreciate it

[@emilyjanick136]

My husband is currently sleeping on the floor in the living room alone because he chose to slam a pint of vodka before sitting down with our kids for a movie with them. They felt so uncomfortable that they came and got me and I'm equally, if not more uncomfortable because a shot in him is scary. His history is to be mentally abusive towards me. I've been struggling so much with this. I've asked him to leave, and he wont because he doesn't want people to think bad of him... but if we leave they kids lose their pets and school district because I have to move home. Everything you said here really feels like you're speaking to what's happening and it feels validating. It also feels like I'm already quite traumatized from this relationship. Thank you so much for making this video. Please keep making more.

[@patrickposton92]

I'm dealing with a gf who has developed a drinking problem. If I do anything to suggest she shouldn't drink she looses it. She gets so mad if she thinks I've done anything to keep her from her wine. She'll drink at least a bottle a night and if I just let it go, basically don't speak and only respond kindly to anything she says she's fine. It's like every night I've got to walk on glass. I really love this woman, but the nights with 2 hours of sleep and all the negativity are wearing me down. I wish you all you all the best in your situation, just wanted to know you're not alone.

[@monarene44]

You’ve got to take a longer view here. The least you could do is actually file for divorce at the beginning of the summer when the kids are out of school and then move home. Light a fuse under his butt so to speak.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I got almost one year soberity and l really should be proud of that l do think it's hard sometimes

[@user-cx9fg3gl3e]

Im hear for this exact reason. Im in recovery myself. It is extremely difficult to be on the other side knowing what absolutely must be done. Its is very painful for all parties involved. Addiction is a very painful disease that is a life long day by day struggle. Thank you for explaining what I new deep down but needed to hear out loud. I pray for everyone who is going through this in all accpects. 😢

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Good for you being in recovery. I am very happy you have been able to string some days together. Keep up the good work!!!

[@joelshaffer7115]

Thank you for sharing this man.. I've been on rehab and sober 3 years now. I know what you are talking about Absolutely agree with every single word

[@mysimpletruth7904]

You are welcome. Nice job on the 3 years. Lifes better this way for sure. I am really happy you found the channel buddy. Thank you

[@anncoster7458]

It been a lifetime since i left my alcoholic and the trauma still fills my dreams. Ivremarried and moved on, but i will never get over tyevhurt, fear and anger. He died drunk and alone. It's so hard to understand why?

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Why is always a tough thing to understand. Being with an alcoholic is usually filled with extreme highs and lows and more often than not ends in a extreme low. My suggestion is focus on the new husband and the new family and do your best to accept the fact that your previous husband made a choice to finsh this life the way he did, as sad as that is. You could not have changed the outcome no matter what you did. Thank you for your words.

[@dougbelford4796]

Addiction is why.

[@VivianMcall]

This was so helpful

[@simonsimon3898]

Your struggle allowed yourself to grow into a stronge person. My step dad was an alcoholic and mom left him because of that

[@mysimpletruth7904]

I appreciate the kind words. That was a very strong thing your Mom did. Thank you for sharing that.

[@michelleradford5956]

Thank you.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was so enthralled when l used to drink what l ever been through negative crazy place

[@user-rz1rf3ps4e]

God Bless you 🙏

[@allisondark6190]

You are very inspiring 😊 thanks for the video

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Thank you very much. Such kind words

[@ThePlace420]

Thank you so much for sharing your story 🙏.

[@mysimpletruth7904]

You are welcome.

[@nataliyashelemina3833]

It's serious theme. Thank you 🙏

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Yes we went with a serious theme. Thank you for your comment.

[@angelstefanie4256]

You are really strong person!

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Thank you for your comment and support!!!

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It's a really difficult situation

[@lisa540]

In a 7 yr relationship lived with him 5 yrs three yr ago he early retired and I moved out but we continue this relationship he has sence this year been three times in the hospital from not eating and drinking too much he is very unhealthy now and his Family wants tuff love at this point I have become his care giver I only see him three days a week as it is too sit and watch or do things around the house he can't do or shopping for him and I know if I leave him now that he will die. I know I should have walked away back then but I left still loving him and and he me but now hes walking with a walker bleeding ulcers he's 55 yrs old and looks like he's 70 I have told him that he needs help I remind him that his drinking and not eating is killing him that this is no life for me or him but my heart says he will die and head says it's too late for tuff love

[@teresarodriguez821]

Yes, and amen! My housemate has become combative, argumentative, belligerent, verbally, emotionally abusive, spewing out obscenities when she drinks excessively. She is in denial, rebellious to seek any help and has fought me as her friend and roommate, her children and family throwing everyone out if we try to keep her accountable. I thought she would drink herself to death had I not been in the home with her she would have been gone, I it's bad her alcohol abuse is out of control it's not a matter of her life hanging in the balance. She has a full blown addiction to alcohol and prescription meds. She has started dating men and not yet legally divorced, that's risky business and immoral, I can't say anything to give her good wise advice because she becomes abusive...

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Yes, that is a tough situation and I have heard your story more than once. The hard reality is you have done all you can do and it seems as though it is time to step away. Make sure she knows if she ever wnats to get sober and get help that she can come to you but you need to protect yourself. The most help you can give her is to not help her in the ways we want to help. The help yoou can provide is by not being available to her. That is my suggestion and take on the situation

[@fruitgummi9084]

Not sure if you’ll respond to this, but what do you think of the CRAFT approach?

[@sunnyspace5859]

i'm in AA😬

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Good for you!! Thanks for sharing that

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I can't believe l had sympathy for certain areas of my addictions toxic turmoil relationship's isn't all that cool 😎

[@littlemisswowzers7188]

I tried... he wants a divorce now tho...it sucks he's accepted we both need seperate houses. It really hurts

[@dewzymase304]

Do alcoholics believe you're part of the problem because you react to their abuse?

[@user-iw6jn5ec6q]

I have the some drink i have 2 children some time they coming angry with me and when i was put sleep they locked door not inter in room i sleep in kitchen i dont have friend only my family i can't live children they need help them it Romania i am molteses in Malta They help children in my country it not easy 😢😢

[@user-iw6jn5ec6q]

I am not married still people the Romania only his contry

[@amanda2702]

Leave lol the answer is leave

[@mysimpletruth7904]

Simple hahaha

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It felt really traumatic really really really l think it was really really really crazy

[@marksherrit5874]

My partner calls me a billy because i try to get her to stop drinking.