What to do with your hands while sitting, standing, talking...and dancing?

If you find yourself asking "what do I do with my hands?" in any social situation, this is the video for you!
In this video, you'll learn what to do with your hands in every social situation whether you're sitting, standing, talking, or even dancing!
In this video:
0:00 Intro
0:36 Hands should be CALM
1:07 Hands should be CONFIDENT
2:54 Use explanatory gestures
3:53 What to do with my hands while speaking?
4:20 What to do with my hands while sitting?
5:08 What to do with my hands while standing?
6:21 What to do with my hands while dancing?
6:47 Don't crack your knuckles
7:00 Don't put your hands in your pockets
7:26 Don't touch your face
8:07 Final thoughts
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Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you.
Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: www.scienceofpeople.com/
My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also a multi-time bestselling author of:
Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication (www.scienceofpeople.com/cues/) Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (www.scienceofpeople.com/capti...) and I am the creator of People School. This advanced video communication course is for high achievers who want to be confident communicators.
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again.
PS - Get our free 60-minute online trainings: www.scienceofpeople.com
+ Join the party on Instagram: / vvanedwards
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Vanessa Van Edwards is a national bestselling author and founder at Science of People. She is also a recovering awkward person.
She is the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People which has been translated into 15 different languages. Vanessa’s unique approach has been featured on CNN, BBC, CBS, Fast Company, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine, USA Today, Today Show and many more.
Vanessa shares tangible skills to improve interpersonal communication and leadership, including her insights on how people work. She’s developed a science-based framework for understanding personalities, decoding body language and improving people skills to help people communicate professionally, socially and romantically.
Vanessa works with entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and trillion dollar companies; and has spoken to thousands of audiences at TEDx London, MIT and CES to name a few.
Science of People looks at the hidden forces that drive our behavior. It’s mission is to help people achieve their goals faster and understand what makes people tick. 👉 www.scienceofpeople.com/capti...
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[@ScienceOfPeople]

If you want more tips about how to use your hands like a pro, here's the full article: www.scienceofpeople.com/what-to-do-with-hands/

[@financialeducation2675]

Great!!!👏👏👏

[@abhisheksinghdangi5027]

1.Calm hands no rubbing 2.being confident 3. Use explanatory gestures 4.bending your elbows while standing 5.don't crack your knuckles 6. Don't put your hand in your pocket 7.don't touch your face

[@mininhawaiian2911]

Bingo

[@ScienceOfPeople]

This is amazing, thank you!

[@JakobManthei]

Thank you for the great summary :)

[@TeshuvahBibleStudies]

With this comment we don't need to watch the video... lol. Kidding... watch the video people... multiple times

[@yagirlsfav6849]

I got kicked out of school and haven’t been around people in a minute because I live in the middle of nowhere, I recently went to Walmart and just didn’t know how to walk🤣😂I felt high asf

[@progrocker2112]

She doesn't even mention it but the X gesture with her arms is quite demonstrative. I f---ing love seeing this vid.

[@kyletupper4948]

Great video. I teach adult students with disabilities job skills and I think this video is full of information that will be very helpful.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching and what an awesome job! I hope this video can help =)

[@michaelguthrie2344]

Vanessa you are to Personal development what Roger Federer is Tennis. A wonderful inspiration.

[@ligiasommers]

So wonderful and helpful as I find your book 📕 is !!! 🙏🏻💝✨

[@LorreneRomanic]

This was really helpful! I have the bad habit of cracking my knuckles & wringing my hands when I talk. I will try to stop!! I found you on The Minimalists podcast. That was also super helpful!

[@improsupreme]

Excellent and clearly demonstrated advice - great things to play with for actors (BOTH the do's and don'ts!) 🙃

[@MayHui]

Your videos are always so informative

[@fionahammond8325]

You are so sparkly and watchable!!! thanks so much for putting this together...so much great info to share!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching!

[@zeinabsleman2918]

Amazing content as usual!😍❤

[@curiousdragon9639]

this is so helpful thank you

[@joyadebisi9312]

Thank you so much Vanessa!!💕💕✨

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching!

[@hanina.2237]

Thank you so much!

[@jesseissorude]

Never has a video title spoken to me this much. The book Captivate was awesome, btw

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the video and Captivate! =)

[@Sunflower-xk5lk]

omg she is soooo amazing😍

[@coolstar7819]

So helpful! Thanks!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You're so welcome!

[@user-cs2xg2vr8l]

Brilliant Advice. THANK YOU

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You are so welcome! Thanks for watching :)

[@joceyramone8647]

Thank you for this, I'm neurodivergent and don't use my hands at all when I talk but want to learn to appear more natural and less stilted.

[@laurajackson6860]

Thank you. I had to create a video demonstration recently. I wish I'd seen this first. Next time though.

[@user-qo3xj1hl1q]

Your TIPS are the best and l LOVE it ,,,you are so GREAT

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you!! I'm so glad you're enjoying the tips ❤

[@aryankashyap3117]

Love you and your videos Vanessa😊

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for being here!

[@user-em4dd8sx4y]

It is very usefull for me, thank you a lot, Vanessa!❤

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You are so welcome! I'm glad it's useful ❤

[@studyeasy1804]

Awesome video you teach us in such a way that I dont find where time goes superb

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching! That's great to hear!

[@k3vs_]

Thank you thank you thank youuuuuu!! This is an amazing video, I loved it! 😃❤️

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching! I'm glad you enjoyed it =)

[@mininhawaiian2911]

All amazing tips on hand cues Vanessa You are so helpful at providing proper communication skills in a variety of situations. I actually always try to have a drink while at a club or bar and it definitely helps with Hand anxiety !! I didn’t realize it until watching this video but it all makes sense now 😅 Thank you again for your amazing content and I can’t wait for the next video

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching and for being here! I'm glad you get value out of the content =)

[@spyhunter66]

Haha I want to go to a party with Vanessa. Thanks for the tips!

[@skillsmany2235]

🌞 Thank you! ⚘️ Nice Skills! 🕊❤️

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching! Glad you enjoyed it =)

[@trooperex123]

Needed this

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Glad it was helpful!

[@natnaelayele4853]

U are always helpful

[@mihaelaclaudiap..2]

This will be good! Such a cool video idea!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you, I hope it helped!

[@noureldinmohamed4872]

subscribed i really have nothing more to say just WOW! i never thought like this

[@okaysushi]

thanks for the useful insights, just a lil addition over here. hold your drink preferably in your left hand, keeping the right hand ready for handshakes esp. at a networking event ! :)

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Absolutely! Thanks for sharing :)

[@wadimek116]

Thank you

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You're welcome ❤

[@madigattakebe4592]

Interested,thank you

[@dukepeterson]

You are awesome! Can’t wait to read your book!🤔🤭👍👉👎🙌🖐🤷🏻‍♂️😂😂😂

[@60x-byugsheladia59]

good stuff

[@nagamaninagamani4671]

Hands should be calm Confident Touch all fingers Intention Guesters Use excamplatory When speaking Calm confident Sitting Calm tapping While standing Caring adrink While dancing Donot ctuckles Put in pockets Touch your face Keep thumbs up

[@dadyankatayoun1347]

Being Persian, use my hands lots, thanks for this tutorial 👍

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching!

[@bdogbeast5321]

Hi Vanessa, I love your videos and have just bought your book. All of these tips are super enlightening and helpful but one thing I'm super curious about is the headscratch when your nervous. Is it a bad social tic like touching the face or it's own thing altogether? Thank you for all the help I've been getting from you in such a short time its been an eye opening experience.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Hi, oh I'm so happy to hear that! I hope you enjoy my book ❤ Here's our article on different head body language gestures and what they mean: www.scienceofpeople.com/head-body-language/ this should answer your question about the difference between those two!

[@ArlindoSamugiDamodar-mr6ey]

Thank you for letting me know that.i also tour guide from Inhaca Island 🏝️ Mozambique Maputo

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Amazing! I'm sure it'll be super useful for you as a tour guide =)

[@triquivijate]

The answer is hold your phone, look at your phone, check your phone, read your messages on your phone, put your phone in your pocket, pull out your phone, glance at your phone, take a picture with your phone, show something on your phone to someone else. - Simples!

[@Nassim-obsr]

A video about hand gestures with a camera angle that dose'nt show the hand gestures 💪

[@nataliew7372]

I love you and have been watching you for years. I refer so so many people to your channel. That being said. Ricky Bobby also did not know what to do with his hands.

[@nataliew7372]

Well. Should have watched first. Should have known 😍

[@ScienceOfPeople]

😂😂 Thank you for being here! I'm glad you enjoy the content!

[@denniperez8028]

So, if I’m right handed…should I keep my left hand on top and ahead of my right? And also when I cross my fingers. Why? Does putting my right hand on top or ahead of my left show I’m anxious? Thank you

[@emcar6104]

Thanks for the amazing video, Vanessa! I would love to hear any advice you have on what to do with your hands when standing and listening to someone. I use my hands when I'm the one talking, but when I'm listening to someone else, I don't want my hands to just be at my sides, but I don't want to put them in front of me and close off . . . Any advice would be appreciated!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching! I'm glad to know you liked the video =) Hand gestures while listening should be at a minimum, especially if you are sincerely listening to the person who is talking. If it feels good, try keeping your hands at rest, whatever that may look like for you. Whether it's in your lap or on your sides. Try not to close yourself off with hands in pockets or a crossed arm stance, but a pensive touch of the chin could signal that you're listening intently. to your success!

[@sharma64._.463]

lots of love from India ❤❤❤

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Sending love!!

[@alibrightwell8047]

🔥🔥

[@mahdisharara3089]

Thank you Vanessa for your lovely Videos! I have a question regarding the position of hands when sitting; if you put them over each other, shouldn't you put them lower so that they don't cover your neck or chest? if not, wouldn't this show a hand barrier which could be interpreted as a defensive gesture?

[@JakobManthei]

Great question!

[@Ashley-ut3hj]

When dancing keep ur hands calm and not tensed up. It will make you look awkward. Whatever hand you are not using when dancing keep behind ur back

[@dosboot1]

You don't always have a drink when standing though. Are there better options than others for where to put your hands?

[@hemimopar3979]

That's is so Funny....I use THEM..made you look.. Hands always warm to touch... It bothers one's..I like it... Church I the people see the people here or hear the people.. HONEST ...Love is love How to show ... Care..Heart no bad word's... Pay attention to topic...if u don't pay attention to detail ..what color what size..up or down.. Comfort..to the situation at hand or hands.. NY? Turn your rings around ? Or fight or flight..hide to run..no.. No pockets..do not touch your face are you hiding or LIEING?? Positive thumbs..ty 💜💃💯

[@noriller]

instead of in the pocket, what about like one/both in the hips and/or hanging?

[@stargazer7987]

I DO HAVE A QUESTION!! My co-workers often asks me : "Why are you making faces?" even I didn't even realized I am doing it. Different facial expressions comes on my face unintentionally. Once, I was deeply thinking about a strategy in workplace, A co-worker asked me : "Did someone broke up with you?" . After reading your book, Captivate! I understand how important is facial expression just like hand gestures. Should I consult a psychologist?

[@JakobManthei]

Hey Stephen! One main way I see body language, is that your intention always shine through. When you are happy, people will sense and sometimes even feel this happiness, even when you don't communicate this with your words. What were your intentions, feelings, thoughts in those situations?

[@jmk2530]

What to do with your hands when you are standing and waiting for someone to arrive eg- waiting for your kids at school?

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Great question! This article should help provide some tips and examples :) www.scienceofpeople.com/what-to-do-with-hands/

[@ymny-3159]

How about hand on hips when standing and having a conversation (for a man)? Any better solution? Long time follower, got your books... Thank you for your teaching

[@mamilaali2301]

I love your video.from ethiopia I have some questions how to contact you.

[@studyeasy1804]

Mam how to stand properly while giving speech or speaking

[@TeshuvahBibleStudies]

I'm contemplating cutting my hands off so I can have an excuse not to use them... it feels so unnatural to me... lol... I suppose it's easier to train and begin using them then to try to learn everything else in life without them... so I'll just practice. Thanks for this video... my next question is how to get your beautiful smile... that one may be harder to answer.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm so glad you're willing to practice! I would start with just a few gestures until it starts to feel more natural. :) I'll link couple articles here too, that you may find helpful! www.scienceofpeople.com/what-to-do-with-hands/ www.scienceofpeople.com/hand-gestures/

[@TeshuvahBibleStudies]

@@ScienceOfPeople Thank you.

[@zeynep-wx6pu]

great video! when i walk in somewhere alone(class, library etc) i absolutely don't know what to do! do i walk with hands in my pockets?? should i take out my phone and pretend to check it?? do i swing them???? next time im gonna try to grab a cup of coffee beforehand lol

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I feel you!! I'm so glad you liked this one :)

[@plz_just_stop]

What do you do with your hands when you're standing and mostly listening to someone talking to you?? I was almost too focused on my hands to pay attention to the conversation 😅

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Great question! When standing and listening to someone, it’s generally best to keep your hands in a comfortable position. This could be letting them hang naturally by your sides, clasping them gently in front of you, or if there’s a surface nearby, resting them lightly upon it. The key is to appear relaxed and attentive. Avoid fidgeting, as it can be distracting both for you and the speaker. If you gesture while speaking, make sure it’s natural and aids in conveying your message.

[@financialeducation2675]

👏👏👏👏👏

[@ArunSingh-jj7oj]

💜💜💜

[@ScienceOfPeople]

💖💖💖

[@maggiew7293]

Love your ideas and videos. Thanks. What do I do with my hands when someone is taking a picture of me when in a natural setting on a hike?

[@JakobManthei]

For me, I put them under the handles if I am wearing a backpack

[@isaiahcampbell9248]

If you get the question all the time, it's not a weird question

[@lightraveler333]

One thing I have a habit of alternating between tapping, patting my legs and then placing them on my hips. Nervousness I bet

[@ScienceOfPeople]

These articles may be helpful! www.scienceofpeople.com/deal-with-anxiety/ www.scienceofpeople.com/hip-body-language/

[@marcusherts9345]

Love your videos👌 What can you do with your hands on a date, if you have the hands of a strangler?😆Like I do, I have a manual job which destroys my fingernails, tried wearing gloves & I put hand cream on every night, but my nails are either cracked or stopped growing, looks as if I’m a nail biter (I’m not) I normally hide my hands under the table in restaurants, Shame because I dress well, & have a good physique, but my hands let me down, I can do the open palms thing, but not all the time…she’ll think I’m a magician ffs🤣

[@sindypetronella]

Just got an email from you. Now watching this great video

[@antoniopolastri666]

😁😁😁

[@carolynhoover3156]

But what about those who over-use their hands when talking? It causes anxiety in me when watching them. There has to be a happy medium - some usage, but not emphasizing every. single. word.

[@sammybeazer]

Side note i love pockets I hate to buy sweat pants with no pockets.

[@mariagoncalves9739]

👍👏🙋🏻 the most Important hand gestures are missing in the emojies set 💪👏🤲🤛🤦

[@JohnDoe_69]

that "don't crack your nuckles" sounds more like a personal issue than general advice

[@BarrengerFynar]

So what about stroking your beard? Its technically a face touch, but I do it when I'm listening someone talk its more like an attentive listening motion for me.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

This is often seen as a contemplative cue. Just be careful not to do it too much!

[@Poetry4Peace]

Noo I HAVE to crack my hands or i cant use them they need to be lubricated often RiP 😭😥😢

[@ambmae8]

Am I the only one who sees steeple hands and thinks of the villain in Beauty and the Beast? The asylum owner trying to lock up Belle's dad? Haha, they look great when Vanessa does it, but they make me feel eeeevil 😂.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

😂 I love that

[@RaynesX]

If you're asking that question in the first place, there's a way deeper problem...

[@kandaridhanbir1789]

❤😂👌👍🧡🥺🤕😶

[@silvana110389]

Can you do a video on the bodylanguage of Amber Heard?

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Sure! I haven't followed the trial at all, what videos of her should I analyze?

[@disappearintothesea]

Ok, so no face touching but can you still fix your glasses?

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Absolutely, fixing your glasses is a natural and often necessary gesture, especially if they're slipping down your nose or not sitting right. It's a functional move and doesn't carry the same connotations as touching your face, which can be perceived as a sign of discomfort or dishonesty.

[@JulietsMan]

we. we??? WE love palms????? WHO is WE? Youre just making me paranoid STOP IT>...next video next video next video next video next video next video

[@DoubleBob]

So basically "look like a manipulative schemer all the time". Such a boomer advice.

[@johntatman8182]

I think y'all need to learn sign language so your hands will actually say what you are instead of looking like music conductor

[@StarBelle23]

I hate the hand over heart gesture. To me it’s a red flag that someone is trying to appear genuine & honest but it comes off as SO FAKE

[@me1ody69]

1:48 thats why trump was president lmao

[@ParodyAccount_]

An elderly woman like this cannot teach a man how to be a man.

[@lightraveler333]

I hate my hand lol they are literally the ugliest female hands on Earth 😂😂 I've never seen hands that look like mine I digress... When I talk though I use my hands it just feels natural and when I first start a conversation and use my hands like to point or just explain what I'm saying GUARANTEED the person eyes go straight to my hands and they look a little startled 😳 almost as if I'm knife-wielding 😂 so I immediately put my hands away and start speaking with no hands... But I make sure they see how awkward it is to speak with no hands almost like the lady on Seinfeld who walks without swinging her arms lol 🤣🤣

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Usually we are our own worst critique :) Ppl may not notice nearly as much as you think!

[@Soulful_songbird]

I struggle with where to keep hands while standing and still look confident and natural and not awkward.

[@Iamcapable4]

which was phenomenal 👋thought of what you don’t use you lose⏱ I’ve noticed that coming back to some thing can help you stay sharp🧬🔥📕✍️☕️🤔☕️☕️☕️☝️☕️😂