What to say when your supervisor talks to you about personal problems

[@winkwink7527]

Thanks for taking the time to give advice on this for me Marie! Very much appreciated! 🙏

[@MannersByMarie]

No problem at all. The comment by PurplePinkRed is actually more on point than my advice. Her comment is above.

[@adasanti7312]

Thank you Marie. I can’t tell you how helpful your videos are. ❤️

[@PurplePinkRed]

I agree with you Marie. The one thing I've noticed with supervisors who do this, they are one of the following: 1) They genuinely don't have any friends or people to talk to about their issues. 2) They want to try and get dirt/ammunition on you by making up or exaggerating their personal life. 3) They have a tendency to overshare their life anyway, and you are not an exception. 4) They trust you, they respect you and your opinion. It is way too hard to pick up which one it is, and don't waste your time doing so. You can always have a quick chat with the supervisor above this supervisor, and phrase it from a place of concern rather than wanting them punished or stopped. That has worked for me, but you really have to know and build a good working relationship with the supervisor above the supervisor for this to work. If you don't have a good working relationship, they won't care and may think you are trying to backstab. Don't go to HR either or divulge any gossip to other employees. It could come back to bite you. If you don't have a supervisor above this supervisor, you can calmly say that you have a lot of work to do or bring it back to a project you are working on etc. It will be a gradual and gentle process though. You can't go in all guns blazing or they'll get offended.

[@MannersByMarie]

This is great information. Thanks so much.

[@chavitavb]

Marie I just adore and really appreciate ALL of your videos. I come back to them when I have a thought of personal interaction or had some kind of issue at work. My boss is the opposite, he likes to vent about difficult employees and tells me "I got so much to work on, I just need to get home." I usually respond with something along the lines of "I'm sorry (boss' name) I feel your frustrations. It's just one of those days, but luckily the day is ending soon."Or sometimes I just listen and go "yeah."

[@MannersByMarie]

That is a great response!

[@ArcherOO78]

Hi Marie. I hope your well. I have a issue with this person at a hotel I'm staying at untill I have my home built. When I need to get towels or toilet paper when I come in from work, because I can't do it in the morning, He always says couldn't you do it earlier?? oh it's you again what do you want ! , or What do you need now ? Why do you wait for me to do my shift to get you something? It's his job to accommodate guests. What would be a good response to him ? Thank you so much for what you do! you're awesome!

[@adasanti7312]

Hi Marie and thank you so much for amazingly helpful videos. Something happened to me the other day and it was confusing. I work on this lady’s project and we have also worked one on one and when I was suddenly asked by another employer to give a reference, naturally I mentioned her and immediately emailed her, apologized many times for having had to do it before letting her know and explained the situation. Her response was that I am inappropriate and I should not associate her with me! I apologized again and also thanked her, I don’t know for what. “Don’t associate me with yourself” is very rude, isn’t it? And she is generally not a rude person. I suspect my boss talked behind my back but anyway, was there any way to handle the situation? Thank you so much!

[@MannersByMarie]

That was so rude of her. I don't think you did anything wrong. I mean, why wouldn't she want to be your reference? Something fishy is going on here. And she is a difficult person at best. I would let this go though. I wouldn't say anything. Just move on and let it blow over. And be careful whenever you have to work with this woman. Try to keep the conversations with her limited and brief.

[@adasanti7312]

@@MannersByMarie Thank you so so much Marie. It means a lot to me. I was doubting everything about myself. Thank you.

[@renepadilla4511]

Hey guys I finally had the courage to drop a friend that would never initiate conversation, invite me to places. And he’s been my friend since elementary school. I took everyone’s advice and dropped him.i remember getting so angry at him. Making a letter pretty much describing what I felt because I truly did go the nice way, but then went rouge on him because of how much he hurt me and didn’t care. Turns out later I found out he has (ADHD) Did I make the right decision. I feel bad now. But confused what to do. Apologize? Or leave it as it is. Help anyone please ❤️

[@Saixjacket]

Hard to be sympathetic on that one, people are now allowed to use medical definitions as a crutch when they need to, for any reason, legally. “You can’t break up with me, I just got diagnosed with BPD just 2 days ago”.