What Women Actually Find Interesting In Men

[@30803080308030803081]

So, a woman doesn’t care how interesting a man is, she just wants a man who makes her feel good.

[@Steak0815]

No, they want a man who checks her out properly. That is the reason you ask deep questions.

[@bencepandi3568]

Yes, it's usually always about them. When "she cares about you", the important part for her is not YOUR wellbeing but it's the fact that SHE cares. That she feels good about that. "YOU" could be any guy. When she says she loves you, she actually loves how you make her feel. How you press to right buttons in the right order. It also could be any other guy who figures it out, just like you did.

[@damcism]

Yes. But same is true for man. Do you care about her interesting passions? Probably you don't, you probably care more about the fact that she looks nice and have a nice voice because a girl like that can make you feel good.

[@bencepandi3568]

@@damcism Nope, if I care, I truly care.

[@davorebo5790]

Women care about sex just as much as men and security.. $$$

[@nicolaabbate4704]

You are actually giving better advice than most dating coaches out there

[@Rassiize]

I thought the same

[@AriadorStudios]

Most dating coaches are the descendants of prostitutes

[@seraphthegatekeeper]

I would definitely say yes. Meaningful advice with some depth. The PUA techniques are useful, but they are worthless without understanding why. It’s like imitating Bruce Lee blindly. You might land a punch or two, but in the end, you’re going to get your ass kicked out there.

[@uropedala1927]

*all dating coaches

[@user-nz7mv2iy6d]

Dating coaches teach you “how”, were as Alexander teaches “why”.

[@bazyl3357]

The mistake is trying to convince a woman that you are interesting.

[@Asilentlearner43]

Why even try in the first place? Women only want to talk about themselves.

[@realtalkz3930]

​@@Asilentlearner43 Because you don't want to be single forever, I think the point of doing this is to stop acting like the average guy coming across nervous or panicking and trying so hard you end up looking undesireable and desperate you intiate the conversation by putting pressure on the woman to prove herself to you and not you proving yourself to her in other words your keeping the ball on your side of the court, keeping the upperhand.

[@magicseventh9746]

i know, right? thats thirsty af

[@corporaterobotslave400]

Men ignore petitions; only weak ppl care about the opinion of others.

[@mreverybody1150]

I tried to convince one that I wasn't....it just confused her.

[@shayan_ecksdee]

Am I the only person who absolutely hates talking about himself

[@fatneckbeard3415]

No, I am the same way.

[@louisgianfrancesco]

Much prefer to ask the chick about what she’s all about to see if I actually think she’s what I’m after.

[@DamianSzajnowski]

Very common. Especially if your self-worth is low.

[@imestia7911]

I hate even more when someone talk about me in my presence friends or parents

[@andrewrobertson3894]

It's ok to proud of yourself, dude.

[@naturalbornkiller361]

Remember this guys, forget about what women might think of you, this and all that. Just be comfortable of your own skin and what you are, and make yourself your top priority then you'll be fine.

[@Garudan0804]

True I'm really struggling with that

[@Tormalima]

Agreed. Alex here gives great advice. But I don't 100% with the idea that one should adjust behavior to seem more appealing to women. We shouldn't worry so much about making sure women like us. We should like ourselves and then women should be so lucky to win our attention.

[@ndnrb_]

@@Tormalima cope

[@gabrielguzman6018]

@@Tormalima exactly and sadly it doesn't help these days with people saying you need to change your behavior to suit their needs

[@Kyle_00]

@@Tormalima couldn't have said it better myself. Focusing on self is better.

[@Ultimate-Revolt]

Remember guys, be tall and attractive

[@DisemboweII]

It really is that easy. Not tall and/or attractive? Just put on some height and change your face!

[@nettraveller81]

@Hispanic American now it's too late for you

[@DisemboweII]

@Hispanic American Just get lots of money, my man. Women love fat stacks more than genetics, they'll come flocking

[@Enzoxvx]

Get those inlets for wrong foot position. You'll 'grow' 5cm and do something great for your feet. After that stop giving a sh*t about anything and you'll be good for life.

[@yourlandladysson6395]

I need 5inches

[@thelonevaultwanderer673]

“Dating for women is like shopping, dating for men is like a job interview.”

[@RobertWinkler25]

Also, they're shopping using someone else's credit card and he had to pay to get the job interview.

[@CrossingTheStreetArt]

While being the interviewer but without the ability to hire. Hiring is always her job but if she feels like she holds that power, she will see him as beneath her.

[@strategic1710]

Even the relationship is like this, not just the dating. The man is always the one doing the work and the woman is always just shopping. Women divorce men who stop working and making them feel good.

[@daniel-qh4zq]

@@strategic1710 My last girlfriend was like that. My daily task take care of the chickens, milk and care for the 4 goats and 2 sheep(1hour), work 8 hours, stop in the garden before I got home and weed, feed 2 acres of plants then take care of the animals, shower and cook dinner for us. The things she did was to sit on her a$$ and thumb through facebook and post thing on pinterest. It took a average of 11-12 hour a day mon-fri to complete. Then there was all the PROJECTS she would push on me. Most of the time when I was doing the daily things she had people over for drinks and wonder why I wasn't hang out and always working. By the way she didn't work for 3 fook'n years. So to sum it up I am done with relationships and I am only 41. Reason, either my picker is wrong or all the woman that I had I'm my life just suck. It would of been easier for me to be gay because guys are just easier to be around...yes I tried that and was not what I was looking for. Single and happier for it :p.

[@adrianred236]

​@@daniel-qh4zq I bet she incessantly went on about how busy she was and how she had "no time to do anything" today?

[@peaceduke1]

if your 5 out of 10 and have no money it doesn't matter what are you talking about. Girls never asked me about my interests but they asked me 100 times about my job and what I own

[@simonlancaster4320]

If you're creative with your reply, to raise a laugh, rather than playing it straight with what you actually do for work, you'll have more success :)

[@Lmfaorofl17]

@@FleetAdmiral833 Idk man, asking What your job is seems like a ‘get to know you’ kind of question. I guess some women will probably ask you that with just your financials in mind, but it is a good question. If you’re in the same field then it opens up a whole new conversation. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@p_serdiuk]

@@FleetAdmiral833 >you spend 8 out of 16 of your waking hours at your job (if you're full-time) >but knowing where you spend half your life is not a "get to know you" question Seriously.

[@Ash_Wen-li]

@@Lmfaorofl17 It's a weird first question though. There's other things you'd want to know first

[@Lmfaorofl17]

@@Ash_Wen-li I guess if he approached without any introduction then yeah asking for name or What he want are more fitting questions. I dont think it’s weird question tho. What other questions are there that are as important as knowing ones profession? 🤨

[@GutenAfterNoon]

This is one of those "change her mood not her mind" thing

[@alexandergrace5350]

Stealing that for a future video title :)

[@cosmickangaroo4719]

'It is obvious that the only interesting people are interested people' - Alan Watts

[@sabretooth7819]

Yep

[@EmperorsNewWardrobe]

A book called ‘the charisma myth’ says that charisma = power + warmth. Power without warmth? Arrogant. Warmth without power? Needy. The book starts with an anecdote that makes the exact point you make here, Alex, about focusing the conversation on her. The writer met 2 very powerful people. She left the first feeling very impressed by him. She left the second feeling impressed by herself. It was the latter that she felt had charisma, in large part because he had made it about her

[@Viewable11]

Charisma is the effect extroverted people have on others, especially if they deviate from the norm in humor or confidence, ideally in both.

[@EmperorsNewWardrobe]

@@Viewable11 what about an extraverted person who’s extremely shy while confident in their videogame skill, but has a childish sense of humour? That meets your criteria, but I think you actually mean a socially confident person with a good sense of humour

[@soggmeisterlasagnagarfield]

Oh the humanity

[@ProtoIndoEuropean88]

"the woman should be doing the majority of the speaking" and this is very correct. In my case, when a conversation with a girl is going well, she literally does not let me say almost anything! haha she basically talks about stuff about herself alot and I sometimes accidentally interrupt her to ask about something she talked about, and the conversation goes really well, I can feel this attraction from her as her body is turned towards me and head tilted forwards into my direction as if she is talking to my face literally haha This happens usually with a few words from me and then she is later claiming to be falling in love with me

[@gabrielswayze4506]

I really enjoy reading others men stories like this one.

[@1Mutton1]

Unfortunately it's also a red flag - sign of a narcissist.

[@Earthtime3978]

Right. You have to light a fuse that burns through awkward silence. Not easy. Of course it depends on the woman’s personality. Think of Rocky and Adrienne. He had it tough.

[@HassanPoyo]

Most women just eat sleep and watch netflix

[@sixft2powerhouse129]

And drink wine, snapthot, instathot, tikthot, complain about work, tell you how crappy you are..

[@phaseless2653]

@@sixft2powerhouse129 dont forget about onlyfans

[@mefik]

I laughed hard but this is a very underrated comment.. Just add social media on top

[@m_m2928]

my sister is 17, she eat, sleep, then attain couple of classes online, then laugh on her phone for the rest of the day, and everything she wants my dad provide for her, even if she asks for a new phone she gets it, but me my Dad doesn't give 2 shits about me. it's really sad he should treat me better and take care of me, she will grow up marry and leave him, but i will be with him always. but NVM

[@orenoitchiro4744]

And what you expected from a passif energy

[@DeusEx2]

Most women lack ambition and true interests,yet they want a successful goal-orientated man who can make her feel interesting. Good luck with that!

[@musejames93]

Hypergamy is built within every woman. It can’t be helped.

[@Boysdont_cry]

@Aaliyah Powell it's natural dw

[@badkarma3713]

If you don't try to impress her, she gets impressed by everything you do/say.

[@nicholaslucas5183]

If she's interested in you she'll find a subject to talk about that you like.

[@MenMovement]

@@nicholaslucas5183 that's a fact👏🏻

[@nicholaslucas5183]

@@MenMovement thanks, I like your, why women don't respect orbiters, channel.

[@MenMovement]

Thank you so much Nicholas. I do appreciate 🙂👊

[@edoardo69yearsago88]

Wtf no???

[@tankthepitbull520]

Make a person feel important and appreciated. That’s one of the most important lessons I learned from Dale Carnegie.

[@cisium1184]

I met a girl at a party once who worked for a frozen fish distribution company. I asked her endless questions about her work, the frozen seafood industry, what kinds of seafood they dealt in. She told me later that I was the only person other than her parents who had ever asked her questions about her job, and she thought I was nuts. The thing is, I'm from coastal New England and I really do love seafood.

[@Aetherguy-cb9bu]

So you're a seafood appreciator? Name every seafood.

[@apurvanair2056]

@@Aetherguy-cb9bu 😂😂😂

[@kvotheosem-sangue]

@@Aetherguy-cb9bu No worries now, I'm sure hes still typing

[@thedetective9522]

@@Aetherguy-cb9bu Give him time to google it..

[@1Mutton1]

. Often if it's a boring job people don't like questions about it.

[@LucidOreo]

Petition to have Alex grow out his beard anyone?

[@Tim_Sviridov]

Oh, definitely.

[@x97s]

And his hair

[@zanard33]

Yes. Hobo look, even.

[@musothreads9069]

No. Hes an individual.

[@nlytend1]

“Women like men that have high standards because it signifies that they are high quality.” My biggest take-away from this video...keep it coming Alex, I love your videos

[@dlbattle100]

At 57 this is less me learning new techniques and more learning the reasons behind why things I've done in the past actually wound up working. It's really solidifying things for me, well done for such a young guy to have this much insight.

[@MindsetWithJosh]

Genuine curiosity is such a powerful thing. It makes you more attractive and it better helps you connect with people in general.

[@poocumber7806]

This is like the advise given on the book “how to win friends and influence people” it definitely works.

[@terencejay8845]

It's decades old and still one of the most important books anyone can read. It was a breakthrough for me in my late teens.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

First thing I thought of.

[@trenaceandblackmetal5621]

non-chad = boring, creepy, tryhard etc. Chad = interesting, mysterious, intelligent, assertive etc.

[@smilodon92]

Pretty much the bottom line. Whoever says otherwise, is delusional

[@MajorKreissack88]

What a ridiculous false dichotomy. Also a convenient cop-out to not put work into bettering yourself. Grow some balls please, loved ones and close friends will thank you for it. Having women will be a nice added benefit but certainly not the goal. Work on your own damned selves

[@Asilentlearner43]

@@MajorKreissack88 Is the truth to hard to accept?

[@MajorKreissack88]

@@Asilentlearner43 right back at you pal

[@Asilentlearner43]

@@MajorKreissack88 You forgot to change your tampons?

[@alexanderl9721]

Over time I found out that this advice works just as well for creating friendships.

[@CanISpeakToTheManager23]

This video is pure gold. Kinda reminded me of the essence of "How to win friend's and influence people".

[@DisemboweII]

And do you have lots of friends and influence over people these days?

[@naedynot1]

I find with most women, all I have to say is, "Hi, how are you?" and they will just talk non stop for the next couple of hours. There is never any pressure on me to say anything because I can't get a word in anyway.

[@tomasciganpal7897]

When I say this "Hi, how are you?" she replies "good" **end of the conversation**

[@mefik]

@@tomasciganpal7897 it happens a lot. More often than not they want you to run after them and keep talking

[@Phasma6969]

Just talk over them, if they get pissed then end the babbling immediately and find something else more productive, don't be an emotional tampon...

[@arsenalagent6675]

Honestly, just making the interaction fun for your own amusement is so attractive to women and people in general, most of whom are too inauthentic and surface-level in how they socially interact to know how to make interactions like these fun or interesting. If you can make it fun for yourself, then you can talk to women and achieve some success with it without having to turn into a party clown. Then you can shift from "how do I talk to women?" to "how do I talk to more women of substance who can actually handle a one-to-one interaction?"

[@lanassokillerguy7310]

This really helps me, a lot of times I tried to convince someone by talking about myself and trying to impress them like that. I got my first date in 3 days and I will definitely apply this knowledge from now on. Thank you!

[@marioordaz2383]

You're always coming the best precise resolutions. If everybody watched your content then they would see most of their social dating problems resolved.

[@SCP-5000]

Nonsense. Women wants to be told y = mx + c.

[@starwarfan8342]

But what if you ask her if she can beat 682?

[@HaoPieldeoso]

It is interesting that this goes against what some PUAs say which is "is ok to talk a lot as long as you are demonstrating high value", then again this mostly applied to groups

[@watamutha]

You're right, most people have no depth. This is from a person who's always seeking depth.

[@mefik]

Lot of girls nowadays have no depth.. Everything is on the surface like their social media habit

[@gabrielguzman6018]

@@mefik for real they focus soo much on the guys outter appearance rather than the inside

[@mefik]

@@gabrielguzman6018 exactly because you can't match someone's depth when you have none to begin with 🤷

[@differentlyabledmuslimjewi4475]

go on, tell us how deep you are then.

[@gabrielguzman6018]

@@mefik why are you talking about me I was just adding

[@BruceLee-dp9sj]

Money, height, Social status, looks, women he slept with.

[@ogrbell8297]

Perfect advise. This isn’t just for romance. It’s for every interpersonal relationship. People love it when you really listen and get involved.

[@patnor7354]

Not really. People love the people who entertain them. Not the people who listen, ask questions and get involved.

[@kleeblattchen38]

this trying to impress thing is so real... Even if the bragging is very suttle it's always apparent to women, I experienced this myself many times... You have plenty of time to go on about what you do or let her find out over time as you spend more and more time with her...

[@Ptah1130]

Women fall in love with themselves, through your lens.

[@hengineer]

tbf, a lot of women suffer from insecurity syndrome, where their entire public personna is all about attempting to hide everything about themselves that they hate, so when they run across a man who makes them forget that and allows them to just open up, that invites the attraction. Its about how you make them feel. If you can make a woman feel good about themselves, despite all of the stuff she hates about herself, then yes.

[@coltukkor]

Meh ill just “accidentally” drop a wad of cash

[@whiteknight9221]

You should write a book about all your knowledge one day. I would buy it immediately.

[@lunaticmickful]

For all the men with the question: "what do i say to her?" Here is your answer

[@clinton4161]

This is a valuable social skill for getting anyone to want to talk with you. It's honestly selfish and arrogant to start talking just about yourself to someone you just met. Asking them a few questions first is a gift you give in exchange for talking about yourself later. Good conversations have a good balance of both people talking about themselves or what interests them.

[@AndrewL31413]

This is so much better than the “never run out anything to say” advice out there.

[@leerollins7555]

This is probably the best video Alex has ever made. He's spot-on about everything.

[@LABoyko]

"There are no boring answers, only boring questions." Could not disagree more. Here's where we do agree. It's up to you to make the convo interesting.

[@lllevokelll]

Never play this framing game with techniques questions and subtle manipulation, unless you want to keep playing the rest of your life / the relationship. It’s well intentioned advice and reasonable technique as technique, but strategically also a pit. You could instead just fundamentally be an interesting person, shrug at whether boring people can recognize that or not, and be yourself. If she’s high quality interesting, she will inevitably recognize you are high quality interesting, else she wasn’t to begin with. Clever people recognize other clever people; people with integrity recognize when other people have integrity; you can’t fake either for long. When other people like you for pretending to be someone you’re not, it’s exhausting to keep it up.

[@OfficialKoven]

This should be pinned and hearted. Nobody should (want to) play games their whole life. It's exhausting, not exciting.

[@lokey987]

I never talk about myself it's to the point where women always say "I know nothing about you" . I focus more on having a good time by flirting, bantering, talking about random things. Usually women be doing most of the talking and I say "ok" and "uh huh" so she knows I'm listening while putting my input here and there.

[@davorebo5790]

That's funny. The woman I'm with now said the same thing .. we've been dating 3 months now.. lol

[@lokey987]

@@davorebo5790 mystery is always attractive, better they inquire and figure it out so there's more puzzles to solve.

[@anna-5104]

@@lokey987 I disagree. I was with a guy who has talked a lot at the beginning of our relationship and over time he hardly ever talked about himself or what interests him. I've found it more and more unsafe to reveal everything about me and my thoughts while he didn't. I just couldn't figure him out, so I broke up with him, because I have lost trust in him. Now I'm with a guy who talks 70% of the time about things he's interested in (videogames particularly Minecraft and CSGO, his friends, computer stuff, what he wants to buy, internet trends etc...). I'm mostly not interested in this stuff, but I find it cute that he is so passionate about his interests. He keeps our relationship filled with stuff to talk about! :D I genuinely love that! I feel better when I can listen to someone instead of talking myself, but there always has to be a balance. I dislike people who only talk about themselves and I tell my bf when I'm tired of listening. But I'm still thankful that he is that way. It's easier to listen than to talk.

[@davorebo5790]

@@lokey987 it's all just a game unfortunately us men have to play .. After 3 months she asked if we were exclusive etc.. labels and everything .. even though she said " I know nothing about you" ??? lol not my first rodeo.. keeping women on their toes (sense of anxiety), being less needy and available is key .. to appearing high value and attractive to women

[@davorebo5790]

@@anna-5104 😆.. I'll give it a few months before the attraction dies...(cute..).becomes boring etc.. and then on to the next guy..

[@RekzaFS]

1:48 - 1:51 I've rarely seen a man so disgusted by his own words LMAO

[@cantoprak7428]

When a man talks about women's emotions lol

[@rafal5863]

@@cantoprak7428 women hedonism can be an ugly thing. Until you find a way to harness it.

[@cantoprak7428]

@@rafal5863 agreed

[@Vmp775]

Kudos Alexander, thanks for sharing your insight. It was brilliant.

[@profetaisaiah5218]

It depends on his FACE

[@TheAleksandros]

Can't read my, can't read my, no she can't read my poker face... That's why my conversations don't last long usually

[@lionprubbs701]

Isn't there a saying that goes something like "saying a person's name is the best sound of any language" or something like that, that comes to mind when I watch this video.

[@thundercho]

3:20 Yes, it sounds dark, but sometimes the reality/truth ain't pretty. Keep on being your genuine self!!

[@Indieauguste]

You are well spoken and qualified enough to speak on such subjects.

[@TheBazino]

If she says "I like fashion", you responds "BORING! Try again."

[@samyb2834]

"CHECK PLEASE!"

[@vercingetorix3839]

I tried that once. Some girl was talking about a TV show she was watching and I said "I like how you keep talking about this when I'm clearly not interested." Surprised she didn't even get pissed

[@flowerofash4439]

This man is to the point and doesn't waste our time, you could say he is a high quality man! Grateful i found this chanel

[@maks886]

again and again these just make me wanna stay single....

[@ReadThis_]

Not necessarily. Just play your cards right. And know what to expect from women and which of your needs they will cover (=not many). And for all the rest...you have your very much capable self ;)

[@KingCalb]

@@ReadThis_ well, that helped lol

[@ReadThis_]

@@KingCalb that's the reality man. Accepting it will make you stronger and then you will be able to make yourself feel and be better ..

[@jimjamjimjam7700]

Think of women like a supermarket - if you get the low quality stuff or novelty crap you'll suffer for it. Just choose decent quality and you'll be ok 🙂

[@TD-zs2nc]

I feel you bro. For an introvert like myself this video says "having a conversation with a woman is double the work. And the reward for being successful is you get to keep having similar conversations." How exhausting.

[@EpicToadRage]

Enough about me, let's talk about you... what do you think about me? 🤪

[@Sirrehpotsirch]

3:33 You said it! Yes, it sounds dark, but it is so true! Most people have nothing to say. No insights! No considerations! No willingness to break out of their silo to see a wider world and different point of view. Yet, somehow, they love to talk about themselves as if they are the most interesting person they can imagine.

[@dmitrialeexev7131]

My uncle is a multi millionaire. He wears crappy clothes, lets his beard grow out, doesnt care in the slightest about his looks. Yet he gets women just because he has far stacks of cash. To be successful as a man you need to be rich, powerful, or incredibly good looking, or else you'll probably settle for a girl with a long sexual history.

[@josetheman239]

There is a level of certain confidence that comes with the achievement of becoming a millionaire. This is the real version of the confidence that dating coaches are trying to get people to fake or build by dressing and grooming. Truly confident men do not need those things and women instinctively know this.

[@vberserk7832]

You could tell the story about your uncle to girls xd i bet having a millionaire uncle is a thing

[@thelonehiker4698]

Or a 100lbs overweight

[@gabrielchen178]

Am I the only person who feels that human interaction is a more difficult subject than rocket science?

[@DamianSzajnowski]

Cool advice, but yo, how dark and sad that is. We want to feel interesting, even manipulated into that feeling rather than value the other person. Damn!

[@cellyszn20]

I set a timer to talk exactly for 2 minutes and the timer is silent when it's complete. If you wanna be smart you can set it to vibrate so that when it completes, it vibrates and you can keep ignoring, imo she may feel she would feel like she is special cos you are ignoring messages for her. It's what I do now.

[@lospanasent]

hahahahaha

[@davidbush9274]

This man is giving you the straight dope on how to live your life in a social setting very effectively. "What speaks to you about X personally?" is just outright thoughtful.

[@MarvelousMusicmmusic]

I would say to you, why would I need to approach her if I'm the one that's interesting?

[@VampyCrafts]

That's interesting.. I hate to talk about myself.. but I have noticed it's actually helping me in conversations.

[@sanelleric8875]

You got me there when you said in the video that most people are boring and dull. So true.

[@alejandro6506]

Cold approaching is only for Chad

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

There is no Chad

[@andrewrobertson3894]

On a consistent basis, I learn a hell of a lot from your videos. Thanks, man.

[@Rikimkigsck]

3:30 no brother you are absolutely 100% right

[@MapSpawn]

What do you think about giving "non answers"? Like if they ask what you do, you say you run a company. If they ask what kind, you say a corporation. When they ask what you do, you say CEO. All of these are one word non answers to try and get the woman to speak more than myself.

[@gabrielguzman6018]

No one is self aware or emotionally available due to experiences and society

[@y_s4021]

That's some great insight. But man, every time I'm like... SO.MANY.HOOPS.TO.JUMP.THROUGH...

[@ThePorschefan]

Funny how stuff in the dating world is transferable to business. The first half of this video might be as well sales training

[@1Mutton1]

One of the best pieces of advice I E had is, try to avoid asking questions, make statements. Not always possible but it stops it from becoming an interview.

[@bb4306]

Clicked faster than ignoring all onlyfans link

[@friedrichschnobel4000]

The more you talk, the more can go wrong.

[@anjericoacuna1015]

Silence is the best Answer

[@Dan-uf2vh]

independent men have to put in all that thinking and effort while clueless good looking women get carried in every way, then throw dirt at innocent men whenever they feel inconvenienced; THAT was misogynistic but also true

[@Danjal987654321]

This is really good. I need more. If there's one place I mess up, is during the conversations.

[@JD37]

Alexander is hip to the game.

[@thegreenranger9524]

@3:11 (paraphrased) "most people aren't interesting" This is where most guys can shine; Alex is right about this.

[@thecapone45]

Solid advice. Not to be a know it all, but before you even said to get her to talk about herself, I was telling myself that’s what it was. It’s a human thing. I was reading about president Calvin Coolidge and he was a very quiet president. But he said that people considered him a great conversationalist- because they would talk about themselves! Great thing to know. Don’t even get me started on how this can be immensely useful in a job interview.

[@hamtramckchronicles]

Calvin Coolidge WAS a GREAT President. One of the best we ever had.

[@GrandMalCsur-x1t]

The best success I have had on dates is just launching into a conversation like you were talking to someone you know. She feels relaxed and starts talking about anything. Before you know 2-3 hours have passed. But, these conversations are less about each other in content but rather context. Experiences, shared experiences, common ground, what makes her laugh, and of course, throw the odd controversial opinion to see how she reacts. 😉

[@alexandrusoare3256]

You’re looking a bit rough in this, remember to take care of yourself, great video

[@adamclark1972uk]

Yeah, he does look rough

[@sburgos9621]

I was watching your video and I realized that the right mindset for interesting conversation which engages someone is to think back to how you were when you were a child. Before you learned all the make believe boundaries that society has trapped your mindset in, we were all genuinely interested in testing the boundaries in everything around us. Everything was new and exciting. Anything was possible and we would interact with our environment with that mindset (testing boundaries). That mindset is exciting and unpredictable. When we approach a conversation with that mindset we are giving space for the other person to engage with that inner child like curiosity. Most people are secretly bored with and tired of their boxed in lives. Wake up at 7am, go to work, come home and do some chores then relax and sleep. We build a routine to help deal with the challenges we face, but eventually we become a slave to that routine and end up unhappy. I think the key to many things lies in feeding that inner child that is within us all instead of starving it until it is weak and forgotten. My personal advice would be not to overthink about what we should say or some formula based on scientific research. That is the wrong mindset. If you want to be more engaging in your social interactions then work on feeding that inner child that you neglected for so long. When you approach a situation with a list of things that list becomes a box in which you operate in. When you fight the symptom instead of the underlaying issue at the core you are fighting a losing battle. You are choosing to fight a hydra and as you cut off one head three more will grow in its place. Think of how complex a physics equation would be to describe a tiger leaping from one rock to another. It's so complex its like a miracle. The tiger isnt aware of any of that even though he does it. The tiger is just doing what it naturally does. If the tiger suddenly became focused on the complex equation which it performs it's leap will suffer because that energy is now distracted by something else. I learned this from observing my brother. He can go into any room and be the center of attention. He can walk out with any girl he wants and he does. He makes it look effortless and for him it is. When I told him the things I was learning about social interactions with women, he said he already does that without thinking about it. I realized that the very act of having to think about a set of rules or a checklist will only limit your focus to those things and the real life interaction which is boundless and right in front of your face will pass you by because you created artificial boundaries in your mind that you believe need to occur before you can reach your goal. Even failure is a boundary. If you are worried about failure then you have created a box as well that you are subconsciously operating within. Now you have to be careful not to say this or to make sure to say that to keep from failing. I also learned from my brother that you should be approaching everyone in your life with that boundless mindset and genuine curiosity. That girl you find unattractive sitting at a bar could be friends with a girl you find attractive. That guy you see everyday and ignore, once you create a interaction with could have something life changing to provide you. My brother talks to everyone and he is rewarded heavily with free things wherever he goes, huge opportunities that others can create and much more. This also transcends your entire life. I have some very successful people in my life that I observe. I notice that when someone puts a boundary in front of them, they ignore it and continue towards achieving their goal. The other day I decided to put this mindset to use in my life. My car is being repaired and I was given a loaner car. I had to choose between driving to school and not having time to get the parking pass, risking a ticket, or to just walk to class instead. I thought of what one of my successful friends would do in this situation. I thought to myself, I am creating a wall based on what I think would happen and without questioning it I was trapping myself in a box that doesn't even exist. These walls create invisible limitations that keep you trapped. I thought, why couldn't I just drive in and speak to the guard in the booth and see if they could write a note I can put on my windshield? So I drove in and did just that. Five seconds later the man in the booth handed me a temporary pass and I made it to my class on time. My point is that the limitations we learned to create in our minds that we use to help navigate situations as we grew, although they have a place and purpose, can become a cell if they arent tempered by that same childlike mentality of testing those walls and seeing what possibilities lay beyond. Since most people suffer from this affliction (walling themselves in) when they come in contact with someone who is always testing those walls, they are are given an opening to nourish their own inner child that has been battered and forgotten. This will make that person want to interact with you more because you are providing them a bridge to that part of themselves which is exciting and boundless. It's a limitless spring from which all things flow. Instead of trying to dissect and capture each drop of water by memorizing things and coming off as fake, be the spring itself and everything will flow from you effortlessly and genuinely.

[@sburgos9621]

This is the key to understanding why men who are analytical tend to have more issues in social interactions than men who come off as more confident. Maybe it isn't so much the blind confidence that is attractive, but that confidence comes out of operating from a state which is more natural. They are navigating the world from a more natural state. They are the tiger leaping from stone to stone not the tiger who breaks things down into steps (boundaries) that need to be focused on occurring in order to achieve that natural act. Its a mindset, not something you can think your way through. In fact the harder you think the more you prevent that natural state from occurring because you are so focused on inner thought instead of being at one with the universe. Modern humanities greatest affliction and source of suffering is caused by the very human affliction of overanalyzing instead of being in tune with nature. Once you are aligned with nature you have tapped into that universals fountain from which all things flow effortlessly. Think back to when you were a child. Before you learned the "boundaries" society expects you to operate within you were almost feral. This feral child is our link to nature that most of us have neglected and starved into a weak state. Every day set a goal to feed that feral child and you will become closer to your own nature. The best part is that this bridge with the universe is dormant within us all just waiting to be freed from the boundaries that have closed off that bridge.

[@61dodgelancer]

Alexander Grace, this is great! Excellent presentation of this material. It's right out of Dale Carnegie's, "How to Win Friends and Influence People". This strategy is time tested. Glad you're passing this information along to younger generations.

[@kiwi9065]

I'm lucky that my Gf is so interesting and ambitious, and introverted (i like introverted people). She is so authentic and admirable, but its kinda hard to keep her "warm"

[@RedBloodAssassin]

How’s your relationship 6 months later

[@kiwi9065]

@@RedBloodAssassin we broke up. Sadge.

[@lorenzogotta7489]

The true existential tragedy a man experiences lies in the fact that the amount of love he receives is ENTIRELY performance-based, i.e., as a man you feel deprived of the worth that comes out of existing by itself. Hence, if for some reason you are unable to deliver a performance and most likely you would need emotional support to overcome your difficulties, then you realize that nobody will show up in the moment of maximal need for help. If you add to the scenario not only the indifference and lack of compassion, but actually the active, sadistic enjoyment of both men and women in laughing at, mortifying, humiliating and shaming in all possible ways troubled, frustrated and emotionally unfulfilled men, who are already quite miserable by themselves, then you start to see the overall picture.

[@Zoco101]

Thanks for another good video. I'm probably past all that dating stuff now, but some of this advice can be ported into existing friendships/relationships.

[@jodypritchard5425]

Just ask her 'Where did you get your gown?' It always works

[@SilveeYT]

Essentially Alex, have a genuine and authentic conversation about her, while not giving information about yourself/ not investing yourself in the relationship at first

[@jinbaittai85]

Thank you. This was a great video. Intelligently informative. I have Asperger's and these videos are of the highest quality with regards to educational information.

[@LeonMortgage]

This works in general. I was an introvert when I was younger because I felt like I was uninteresting and didn't want the spotlight on me. Once I figured this out I was able to engage other people without the pressure

[@CadePDrumstiX18]

That's why when she asks too much about you just say "Tell me something interesting about yourself" It shifts the frame into your control and she feels more pressure to try and find a reason to attract YOU. It's like reverse fishing. Imagine getting her to try and impress YOU when you are the one approaching.

[@DruuzilTechGames]

0:08 - Leave the bar.

[@ihatekidswithanimeprofilep4082]

😂

[@SK-zm8iu]

Man, you and corey wayne are two of the best people i watch for videos about attraction, relationships, and dating.

[@josetheman239]

Most women are uninteresting. I have a hard time pretending that reality tv or the worst movies on IMDb or drunk stories or weed stories or the fact that someone has been to Vietnam and Thailand is interesting. Problem is that most women are not aware that they don't know jack about film, that drunk stories don't make anyone more interesting, that smoking weed is juvenile and masculine and that travelling is not a hobby. Also gents, high quality women are not in bars they stay home!

[@napoleonkrishnabayu9768]

Dude, just out of pure curiosity, I wanna know why in your pov travelling isn't a hobby

[@josetheman239]

@@napoleonkrishnabayu9768 Travelling is something you do because you have access e.g. for westerners it's cheaper to travel to the third world and for 3rd world upper middle class it's possible to travel too. This is something you pay a lot of money for but you do not actually do anything. It is very different from knitting, restoring antiques, volunteering at an animal shelter and even baking. Basically, a hobby is work that you do for no pay in your spare time. You can get paid for baking, taking care of animals and resorting antiques but who would pay you for going on holiday?

[@napoleonkrishnabayu9768]

@@josetheman239 So, it's the case of productive hobby vs unproductive hobby. Thank you for clarifying your opinion!

[@josetheman239]

@@napoleonkrishnabayu9768 Not what I said. I said travelling is not a hobby. It's a product - something you buy because you have money. It does not make you a more interesting person or add to your life in any way - hence women who've "travelled" are uninteresting.

[@Rawyalty220]

True I always thought smoking weed was masculine

[@TheMasterfulcreator]

I want to tell her about my waifus.

[@yannk95]

Thank you for this video. The reframe that you just helped me see made me laugh on how could I not see this sooner. You're a good man. Please keep sharing.

[@jennifercoopman]

The conversation aspect is why I hate going to dinner with someone. The environment must be interesting to generate interesting conversation, otherwise the convo is forced. Dinner is not interesting or conducive to organic conversation, it just sets up the exact scenario Alexander is describing: One person asking questions, the other answering. Instead of watching each other chew food while he is trying to calculate the percentage of words he's saying to make sure I'm talking more than him so he can keep his frame, I'd rather we go and actually DO something that we can talk about. For example, to a museum, or state park hike, sports game, volunteering, or whatever the heck he likes to do. Then I'm much more likely to be at ease with the convo and show my real self to him in those situations. And the convo will be interesting, no matter who does what percentage of the talking, because we are both doing something interesting together.

[@paulphoenix6784]

Why is it often assumed that when the dating is boring it's always the man's fault? I have known boring women with no personality.

[@9525joe]

This was honestly pure gold. In fact this advice was so good that a lot of men are going to have to be careful how they use it because a lot of women might end up really liking them while they themselves don’t feel the same towards the woman. With great power comes great responsibility.

[@bunnystrasse]

True

[@nextzdota6392]

When I watch "dating couches" etc. I really think that dating is simply not worth, because it's disgenuent and cancerous, however after seeing your take on the topic, it made me exciting about meeting women. Great video as always.

[@elijaheskin1]

"either take it higher or take it deeper" love it!