What Women Really Look for in a Partner | Sarah Hill

JBP and Sarah Hill discuss the connection between success, competition, and attraction to Women.
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[@bartholetbay412]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@bartholetbay412]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks

[@bartholetbay412]

You wont regret it

[@cmg2651]

Women want security…physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual security…for themselves and any future offspring. The male who can offer safety in those areas is a high value man.

[@blahblah4129]

Agree!

[@debrawehrly6900]

what is mental and emotional security?

[@russ123321bunya]

​@@debrawehrly6900that they can feel safe to share their emotions, and that you have control over yours. That you won't flip out over some bullshit, and that they can depend on you if they ever do

[@alexmad69]

main reason why women are very reluctant to date immigrant men

[@JohnDoe-fk5ps]

Unless he flexes with great resources, then women will start to break rules

[@mr.schachte]

This man's intelligence is inspiring.

[@THX5000]

Junkie with a 304 daughter.

[@Mtl-zf9om]

This is why he's the only most successful senior within the top youtubers with the highest revenues.

[@clarkwatson3217]

lol yes

[@user-mr3vz6sm5j]

he is clearly a hack

[@Impaled_Onion-thatsmine]

Some guy who's gonna be reasonably angry his whole life because she wants it now and we could delay biology

[@cd4playa1245]

I went to a bar/club once with a beautiful girl on a first date and so many women were checking me out. But those random situations won’t occur if you’re embittered towards all women. You just need to be chill and open to the opportunities that come your way. I didn’t end up going home with her, but I wasn’t looking for that anyways. We had a good night. Boosted my self esteem, which I sorely needed. It was good.

[@sheriwilliams8942]

Thank You for not looking for sex and instead value your date as a Human Being and not an object just for sex.

[@ZM-dm3jg]

What a sad and lame story.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Yeah, preselection is huge for women cause they are intellectually lazy

[@keylanoslokj1806]

​@@sheriwilliams8942if Chad objectifies you, you don't care. You even prefer it. Hypocrites

[@henrytep8884]

@@keylanoslokj1806bruh got some insecurities. Yoo lay down low for a bit, you reek of this loser energy right now.

[@spindoctor6385]

I exploited this tactic a lot when I was 17-20. I had a mate who would walk into a club, spend ten seconds on the dance floor and be surrounded by girls for the rest of the night. He couldn't take them all home, that's when I would step in.

[@darshankumar5926]

😂😂😂

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Where is ma salvage boi😂

[@darshankumar5926]

Bro you are born opportunist

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@darshankumar5926 normie men tend to string along around Chads to get some breadcrumbs of pussy. It's an old tactic. Of course as an outsider of this culture it only gives me cringe, but logically makes sense from their perspective

[@pr0adam]

sus home situation ages 17-20

[@JohnstonJack3318]

I feel men elevate those who are successful at something because they hope that they themselves will receive the same admiration when they’re able to achieve something. Like a contract of sorts, “I’ll celebrate your greatness now, but you’ve got to celebrate mine later.”

[@juhae8164]

no, there just has to be a worthy prize for hard work, else men flounder out because it stops being interesting. working towards something and improving over time feels a lot better than "just" getting it.

[@JohnstonJack3318]

@@juhae8164 That’s interesting! Do you think we celebrate victory because it encourages further victories, and encourages those who celebrate to achieve something so they can later be celebrated? It’s interesting to think if there was no admiration for success, none would bother to overachieve.

[@juhae8164]

​@@JohnstonJack3318 yup, rising tide lifts all boats. think less "i also want to be celebrated" and more "this person did something great. if everyone was like this person (in this certain discipline), the world would be a better place (or our team would be better), so i strive to be like them". of course there's always envious people and high ego people but they don't make it far if their teamplay sucks.

[@michaeljeffery7466]

Interesting.

[@dominicekezie2011]

@@juhae8164I disagree with you and agree with the original commenter. You imply at an individual’s core, he’s focused on the group. I disagree…I think at his core he is focused on himself. At the end of the day, men want to reproduce. If a man could have all the women in the world with no repercussions(such as being ganged up on by lesser competent men or needing to rely on those men to survive) he would. As long as the group is functioning, I don’t necessarily think men want every man to be hypercompetent, and if so, THEY would want to be the MOST hypercompetent. At the end of the day, men care about reputation and status. So when men celebrate another man and showcase his competence to women, other men would want the same treatment. ALSO showcasing a competent man who’s in your circle also has benefits for YOU as the video mentioned the “reflective glory” and what not.

[@ggus1991]

It's not simply competence, every nerd with the highest grades in his class knows this. It's competence ON SOMETHING WOMEN VALUE, plus physical attractiveness. You can be the most competent guy in the world, means nothing if it doesn't translate into some benefit for her.

[@jackflynn412]

You are correct. And this is just one of the many reasons one should try to be competent in multiple areas. If some of nerds got in better shape they’d have higher chances of finding a woman. The physical attractiveness can be improved too. Exceeding in only one area limits our potential.

[@illbeyourmonster1959]

It's also true for women too. Being a complete toad with a caustic personality is not the selling point that it's made out to these days. Sure, you can claim 'strong independent wahman' status but you get to do it by yourself.

[@Mereologist]

There is reason to believe that most markers for 'attractiveness' are health markers. A sickly, underfed child becomes asymmetrical, twisted, short, and thin, while a strong, healthy one becomes tall, square-shouldered (or curvy, depending on your sex), and straight. A lot of these traits are heritable, so it's completely understandable that both men and women would seek them out even if they don't understand why they are doing so. This hurts those individuals who lose themselves in the world of the mind because their focus on the non-physical can result in them getting that sickly appearance, even when it is not their genetic heritance. Another way to phrase this is that losing yourself too much in the world of the mind is, itself, a kind of sickness. A nerd who is not only smart but also wise can be taught that in addition to the books, he also needs to hit the gym. He may not care in such superficialities as whether he is pale and covered in cookie crumbs, but it is a means of communication if he leaves those symptoms there for anyone else to see. In the end, the body is the vehicle for the brain, and a neglected body can become a liability no matter how powerful the brain inside it is. If this were explained to more nerds, I don't doubt that a lot less of them would be quite so nerdy.

[@jackflynn412]

@@illbeyourmonster1959 And most of the women who tried to be “strong and independent” tend to regret not getting married because of the loneliness.

[@Is-not-007]

I strongly disagree. If you are the most competent guy in the world, in something useful, that undoubtedly translates into some infinite benefit for her.

[@suggesttwo]

There's safety in numbers. There's wisdom in many councellors. Many hands make lite work.

[@Razear]

Jordan's hypothesis about men rallying around a leader sounds like a quasi-cheerleader effect. There's a reason that so many people gravitate towards clout chasing. Associating oneself with a socially lucrative inner circle can confer a lot of personal benefit. This is exemplified by the adage of, "It's not what you know, but who you know."

[@drmvp21]

And then there men like me who can get hot women with no social circle. Because I have all the attributes of an alpha, but I’m. Not following any man, but I’m not trying to lead anyone anywhere. I’m self proficient and competent. Social circle is overrated. Most of the traditional “ alpha” guys end up with average women considering their competence and vast social circle. Your physicality and looks matter more then you think.

[@Art-is-craft]

It is part of the human animal instinct. It is not some social decision that a person creates.

[@BusinessWolf1]

I'm a web developer. You have no clue how true that statement is. Or maybe you do but either way, super fucking accurate. It is entirely about who you know.

[@Duke-cj7ff]

To be aware of your own mediocrity is not bad. To think this clearly at 18 is half the battle. Find out what you love and become good at it. That should give you the confidence and ability to act cool. Great combo, stronger than catnip.

[@LearnCompositionOnline]

Forget what women want. Flip the coin.

[@I_SuperHiro_I]

It’s actually much simpler than this. Men value competency, but we value loyalty above all else. Competency and generosity attract loyalty, which breeds a collective success.

[@nateoliver3285]

Yes but that’s after physical attractiveness

[@mbg9650]

Call it transactional relationship require reciprocity or your'e a s$imp.

[@AruLily]

@@nateoliver3285 Incorrect, depends who you have in mind, in my life I have seen many attractive people dating non attractive people, by yet gain someone's standards i guess, but the people I'm thinking of, we're attractive but also had a brain, they wanted security and calmness not partying all night and needless spending, so they dated anyone who posseted the traits of security, emotionally, financially, not somebody rich, but somebody simply willing to earn money by just having a job. Honestly, everyone who parrots the word ''attractiveness'' is often seen as a 1 faced person, who would very likely be hell to be around and all those people i spoke of would say, i'd rather date my husband, who may have a chubby face, then a miserable idiot, trying to drag everybody else down with him, with his unhealthy taste. Looks literally fail, so this logic only works if you are going for a 1 night stand logic, movies showing you 1 version over and over again, is not facts.

[@michaeljeffery7466]

Interesting.

[@53cconadailee46]

😂😂😂 You’re fooling nobody.

[@peekachu103]

Finally a brilliant video after a very long time from Peterson. I see the same spark that he had at his peak.

[@mgu1N1n1]

Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

[@Mereologist]

The police in my town would literally do nothing to a woman who was showing up screaming, threatening, and creating disturbances over and over UNTIL a restraining order was put on her, and then they would arrest her for violating the restraining order. And it's not terribly hard to get one. People just need to know about it. Thanks for spreading the word!

[@charleswomack2166]

I had actually considered hiring a catholic priest to perform an exorcism on my baby momma! I had changed her name from XXX to Lucifer on my cellphone. I was unable to find anything on it on the internet at the time, circa 2014.

[@tedclark7860]

You should actually do it as a precaution every time you want to break up with her just in case. This is precaution for most women not calling out all of the me too women.

[@mgu1N1n1]

@@A.J.C.000.1 have fun in prison

[@tracywatts1459]

I have to say good on you for coming out. I happen to be a self made successful female outside of that. I am aware there are abusive women out there and had a male friend always black and blue I shit you not. There are man beaters out there but men are often to embarrassed or ashamed to admit what they are dealing with or fail to realize the toxicity they are experiencing isn’t healthy. I’ll end this note with one wish for all deserving men . That you figure out a way to respect honour and Love yourself single or not. There is nothing more attractive to me than that! If you can master those 3 things than you wouldn’t have to listen to JP and if your in a toxic relationship contemplating restraining orders then you didn’t honour respect and love your inner self to be in that position to start with.

[@oller7113]

"That´s insanely comical"..love that!

[@wazer85]

Always enjoyed his knowledge.

[@MiroKrotky]

This is so eye-opening 😮❤

[@anonbattler]

Dr. Peterson, you should look at Simon Sinek's talk "Why Leaders Eat Last". He's a business speaker who studied anthropology and in that talk he goes into the question you raised on why men are willing to elevate other men to alpha status and let them have first choice of mate. Basically, it is because they expect the strongest / most capable / most competent man to be the first one to step forward and protect the group from danger when it arises.

[@toomuchinformation]

Real world examples?

[@keeganmclean2017]

With great power comes great responsibility.

[@anonbattler]

@@toomuchinformation Pretty much any situation where a group chooses someone to be their leader whether it be in sports, business, government, warfare, or any other endeavour. The leader is chosen and granted favors and privileges under the condition that he protects the group from the dangers of losing / bankruptcy / unemployment / death, etc. For example, a US President is made to swear with an oath upon his inauguration: "I will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

[@3TNT3]

​@anonbattler Too bad those president’s don't actually have to live up to that oath, per the example of ConAll Dump. He has even talked about throwing the Constitution into a garbage can, and yet he is stilllll way ahead in the polls. I guess never underestimate the power and sway of a cult leader. Speaking of which, it would be verrrrry interesting to hear a discussion between these two as to how a cult leader fits in with all that they are talking about.

[@mikenixon2401]

I asked (graded) my wife while listening to this. She passed with an A+. Yeah, I think I'm a winner too.

[@TV-oc4ml]

Yeah, but I’m the pool boy

[@clarkwatson3217]

What ?

[@L5biszz]

You are my favourite preacher. Because you the wisest of them all.

[@jaylon.713]

Super accurate and original takes.

[@TheOhioCountryboy]

If you are on a team, and you hoist the star player (or hunter who killed the game) onto your shoulders...yes, they may sleep with the cheerleader that night. But all the men benefit by cooperating as a team. And the next game you may be the star, and get the cheerleader. By aligning with most competent players/hunters, you increase your chances of your competence being recognized.

[@natrone23]

Bingo, by having the best Men on your “team” the team benefits and the individual’s benefit.

[@markberman6708]

Fascinating. Well, guess I am SoL for women because I've only ever competed against myself and, and I've seen a wee bit of Combat, the way to really influence outsomes in that realm is by being #2 but more so #3 in order of "shaper"... ie... CDR, XO, S3/Operations. And be good enough you get the leeway of being 'name-tagged' so you can gravitate towards making a bigger difference. I'm also SoL on money side because I've never cared about money. Personal opinion is that it if your goal is positive influence, more often than not, it's better to operate near or in the shadows. JMO.

[@junevandermark952]

“Did you ever stop to think that even if I am a monster, I might be your soulmate anyway?” ~ Julie Johnson, Erasing Faith

[@stevesyncox9893]

Thanks Doc!

[@BriggsGuy54]

So interesting. Peterson is so on point. I like what he was saying towards the middle of the video... He isn't out of touch like a lot of academics. I have attended a number of fishing events where at the end all the guys do a "fish fry". Thats where everyone contributes all of their fish so that everyone can eat. Sometimes there are 70 people, or maybe 10 or 15 people. What is so interesting about it is that sometimes i dont catch anything and someone else may catch 5 fish or vise versa. The other person with the fish contributes all of his fish so that I can eat. In the end, everyone eats the same amount and no one is eyeing anyone down, all of the providers are always happy to have provided and all of the provided for are thankful to eat just as well as the providers. Its really a wholesome thing to see. Leftists think more politically conservative people are not compassionate but the leftists just arnt there to see examples of when they are very compassionate. Its technically not fair to the individuals who caught all the fish to feed the underproviders but in the end everyone eats equally and they are actually happy to provide for the pack. I think its because people can see further into the future than that fish fry. They realise the importance of everyone eating and they see the value every individual.

[@Ben-bg2lp]

The "women want rich guys not because of their money but potential" argument can be simply refuted by the number of women leaving after their partners lose their money! What, their potential has gone too?!

[@impudentdomain]

or how about the approximate one third of women who simply divorce their man and steal over half of his wealth ?

[@Viper3220]

1. Divorce rates are sky high for lesbians, lower for traditional couples, and are the lowest for gay men. 2. Divorce is most initiated by women and the chance you're divorced when you lose your job when you're a man increases but a woman that loses her job is at no increased risk of her man initiating a divorce. Women care about what you can do for them. They don't care about YOU.

[@bufficliff8978]

Most of the time, yeah. Most men who lose their money lose themselves. Their entire personhood collapses into brutish vice, and they don't pick up again. You're primarily talking about gold diggers, which is foolish of you to focus on, especially because that's not what Peterson is talking about. Your contention within the framework Peterson is talking about doesn't recognize that losing significant wealth usually is because something of competence went wrong OR it reveals the man was never competent to begin with. After the money is gone things get worse. Married couples who were destitute from the start ALSO struggle despite him having married her while having nothing, which happens ALL the time. You'd actually have to content for the fact that women marry below financial stability for love ALL THE TIME. So there are gold diggers, that everyone knows is only in it for the money, and the man agrees to that arrangement. There are women who learn that the money was luck--not competence. There are couples who break up due to the stress of financial problems after loss. There are couples who don't break up despite the stress of financial loss. Your bad attitude is pungent.

[@FencingMessiah]

Men like him want to believe it. So they don't have to realize some uncomfortable truths about a lot of women

[@rashmisinha5588]

Competence of women is a major factor. Not all women can recognise high potential partner (even after being with one).

[@Mereologist]

If you have not read it, I highly recommend James Carse's book 'Finite and Infinite Games'. He observes that the entire point of a finite game - ANY finite game - is to produce winners and losers, such that the winners gain and the losers are silenced. Even the losers gain by continuing to remember and support the outcomes of past games because if no finite game's outcome was remembered and supported, there would be no point to the game at all. So long as the game continues to exist, even losers may have a chance to win it at a future time, at which time they will want those results to be remembered and supported. The other way is to play wholly different kinds of games - infinite games - with not only no winners or losers but no beginning or ending. But in this context, finding a mate is necessarily a finite game because there can only be one winner for a particular mate and everyone else loses, and that mate's fertility is very bounded in time.

[@abaronofchivalry5176]

Also think, if you properly align yourself with the higher competence group, given that the potential is there, one might be able to learn and ascend to a high point within the hierarchy as a result of this decison to cooperate

[@Sour1219]

Situations are volatile and highly infinitive often unique in almost every occurrence. Every occurrence between the two opposite sexes produces new results hence making it difficult to set convention for the next

[@cocojoy1590]

gold content right there!!!!

[@wesfin]

1:02 not the wealth/generosity but the fitness/competence that it displays/advertises

[@dcktater7847]

Paterson always has a knack of making life seem better than it is.

[@billmoyer3254]

that's nice, but who is Paterson?

[@carlosromero-sn9nm]

This comment thread made me laugh more then I would expect 😂

[@user-nj9ru4ef2w]

@@billmoyer3254 Yordan Pederson's friend

[@Huckleberry04]

I find it interesting your videos are the only ones that I have a freeze up on my phone when I try to comment. It is very difficult to get to comment. Men who aren't the winner wont get the top girl but they know they will get a girl who is close to the top girl. It's kind of the concept you explain about the hunter

[@robsgonesailing]

Dr Peterson is selling a cuck philosophy. Abstain from Ho's. Go on a journey. Find your strength and Marry someone who noticed you on your journey when you we're nothing. Don't be afraid to die alone because some Men are born to die in battle and other's are born to eat pussy 😂❤ If she doesn't love you when you are nothing she will won't love you when you have everything!

[@Taldaran]

You're not the only one with KZbin comments freezing your phone. This was never an issue until a KZbin upgrade over a month ago. KZbin really needs to pay attention and look into this. I used to love KZbin for the ease of the entire experience, but part of the experience is comments, and this bug in the KZbin platform is very isolating.

[@Huckleberry04]

​@@Taldaranit happens only on Jordan Petersons posts

[@m3po22]

Total amount of extractable value

[@Raymond-rr5iv]

I took many years for me to realize that in spite of everything life is really beautiful. Since then, everything is better.

[@hablabamosa]

Competene and social skills are so important, looks aren't enough. I used to get ghosted by women after a couple of weeks because I lacked evidence of the former.

[@Art-is-craft]

@@Thucydides460 99% of women have a predilection to competent men. Only a very small number women view men from a physical point of view. The real issues with modern society is that women do not have the same skills at spotting competency. And men have poor skills at presenting competency. Too many men assume that technical knowledge that is argued will present that competency.

[@Shortbaldugly263]

Competence and social skills without looks arent enough either.

[@RacksonRacksonRibss]

Gotta be a good blendini of it all

[@velvetindigonight]

This is so interesting in relation to jocks, reputation, leaders and survival. During WW2 when the UK SAS was formed in the desserts of North Africa one of the Leaders (can’t remember rank Captain then Major?) was Paddy Mayne who died in Ireland in the 1950’s……. If you listen to the old members talking about Paddy when interviewed in the 1980’s (lots of fab old documentaries available on KZbin) about following him into Battle and feeling invincible and safe in the belief that with Paddy leading he would get you safely in and out of the operation! Interestingly, Paddy appears to have been gay?! PS. Apparently, the Roman Empire had ? Legions of gay men who fought along side their partners the belief being they would fight harder to keep each other alive!? I hope some one finds this comment of interest? The wonderful world of YT comments :) Fascinating stuff!

[@liamblu]

Very interesting. And very plausible. Like the way Jordan wraps his words around his own thoughts and then includes what he's learning from his interview partner. One minor thing added to it: she uses the versioning (1.1 and 2.0) incorrectly. Usually 2.0 is better than 1.0 and 1.1 is better than 1.0, not worse.

[@Srpski_inat1984]

It's a good old teaching strategy where the main goal is communicating your ideas to others so that they come to understand those ideas..

[@Mereologist]

In a finite conversation, the point is to 'win' and force the other person to shut up. In an infinite conversation, the point is to spark other ideas in other people, who can then contribute and spark other ideas in you. Once you understand this, you can see those different kinds of conversations occurring in different situations and see what people are after. A lot of people become frustrated because they're trying to have an infinite conversation and are forced into a finite one by their partner.

[@Srpski_inat1984]

@@Mereologist I'm past that, not that you asked.. At this point.. Leaning on the old school information... Bitches ain't shit nor is anyone without Jesus blood and some form of death wish

[@MadofaA]

Interestingly put!

[@robsgonesailing]

Dr Peterson is selling a cuck philosophy. Abstain from Ho's. Go on a journey. Find your strength and Marry someone who noticed you on your journey when you we're nothing. Don't be afraid to die alone because some Men are born to die in battle and other's are born to eat pussy 😂❤ If she doesn't love you when you are nothing she will won't love you when you have everything!

[@SeeSawMassacre]

The hundred thousandth video about what women want. Let them have it. Go melt back in the night Everything inside is made of stone There's nothing in here moving And anyway I'm not alone You say you're looking for someone Who'll pick you up each time you fall To gather flowers constantly And to come each time you call A lover for your life and nothing more But it ain't me, babe No, no, no, it ain't me, babe It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe -Bob Dylan

[@LearnCompositionOnline]

Exactly 🎉

[@skylurewilmarth5996]

This was so cool to see someone intellectually challenge Mr. Peterson. I LOVE this.

[@joeydayton8116]

Wasn’t much of a “challenge.” They didn’t even disagree

[@Theo-ul8qm]

One issue I see with the competence argument is that through much of human history after large civilizations were established and a 'ruling class' was formed - say, in the last 10000 years - competence and wealth were not linked. Kings, emperors and other leaders of large groups, and later of states, were the wealthiest men, but not always the most competent in acquiring wealth. Some were actually notorious for wasting massive amounts of it. Yet they were still highly desired by women. This is what leads me to believe that it may not be competence, but something else that makes men attractive to women and respected / envied by other men. One theory is that it may be 'capability' - as in having the possibility to do as many things as possible, or influence the world around them to the highest degree possible. I like this theory better than the competence theory because it does not specify how skilled someone is at what they do, but it only proposes that one must be capable of exerting a lot of influence on the people around them. This includes the most competent men, but it also includes those men who wield a lot of wealth and influence but are incompetent at wielding it. Both these groups, history shows, have been very desirable to women. Curious to see what people think about this.

[@jenA9026]

For me, humour, kindness and thoughtfulness are essential.

[@Theo-ul8qm]

@@dominicekezie2011 I see your point. It seems to me, though, that for most of human history wealth was not correlated with the capacity to work at all. It was actually a sign of high status to not work. So wealth as a proxy for hard work or skilled work is quite a recent phenomenon. The idea that the wealth would dry up is also a fairly recent phenomenon. For nobility, in many instances (let's name Caligula in ancient Rome and king Farouk in the 20th century) a lavish and even wasteful lifestyle meant no jeopardy whatsoever to their wealth.

[@mileshamblen9982]

Be agile in heart, mind, and finally body.

[@phillipchapman]

That part At the end is why they hire atmosphere models

[@jyc313]

To me I think it’s competency and capability. I’ve seen plenty of cases where a man has a wonderful and attractive partner even if they don’t have the wealthiest job, high-profile profession, or is the most powerful in the room. Sure, those super high status males of course, have a higher chance at having a highly attractive female. But imho I find it’s not exclusive to just that population. To me, if a female sees you are good and effective at your job, capable and able to protect his loved ones, and can show he is true to her she will stay with him. Those existing traits also show he has future potential to do more, and keep his tribe (family) alive (not homeless and destitute) if shit hits the fan.

[@user-nj9ru4ef2w]

it's your relative status compared to those around you. The guy making $10,000 a year in a third world country where the avg salary is $1,000/year IS the wealthy powerful person.

[@life-stream-h20]

Social skills go a long way. But everyone has a number no matter how good any intangible soft skill is; or any guy and any girl would be compatible which is how things should be (faith w/o pin-point understanding). But that is generally never the case.

[@ozonius_6859]

I was once at a party one of my first as a teen, I knew the host and like 3 others then there were like 15 girls who showed up quite early, one of them I knew quite well and we had good banter, and all of a sudden it was like I was a celebrity with a crowd they were laughing at everything, and I managed to then kiss one of the hottest in the group I think association alone gets you really far

[@peripheralparadox4218]

It’s always amusing when an academic struggles with the decimal system.

[@Art-is-craft]

It is not a natural system which makes it easier for a person to make a mistake with when under pressure.

[@pera3D]

I Solve problems, i learn new things, i grind for my Dreamwork. But at the end of the day i dont have anything to bring Yet

[@jadetaylor2303]

Of course u got it darned right again & I’m actually “English “😮

[@cyclone8974]

Women expect everything but only offer themselves.

[@jonnysongs]

Most women spend a ton of time, money and effort trying to maximize their attractiveness and take care of themselves, way more than we men do. We shouldn't discount that.

[@Viper3220]

True but most guys would agree that the amount of time and money they spend on their physical appearance has heavily diminishing returns. They could dial it way back and it would still have a lot of value. Same with men. Men could afford to up their game when it comes to increasing their physical appeal and fashion sense. Also, women will often be the first to tell you they don't do it for a man so even discussing this is just inviting vitriol from the perpetually offended

[@alterego157]

@@jonnysongs No, they spend a lot of effort on fakeup and deceiving the potential victim. Big difference. 2 lbs of makeup plastered on her face is just an analog version of app filters.

[@jenA9026]

​@@alterego157wow... you sound hurt. I hope you're doing better. Go camping or bush walking. Meet some women who are into that scene. No make up there. I wish you kind regards.

[@alterego157]

​@@jenA9026 I am. Reading it now, that sounds really bad. Thank you for being patient and kind. People like you make this world a better place. I'll try to do better.

[@je9950]

This reminds me of the Mac Method. "Move in After Completion"

[@lostieaddict]

OMG🤣 best comment!

[@je9950]

@@lostieaddict gotta swim in their wake

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

I wanted a man who would be honest, be transparent, love family, be a companion and partner and be loyal to me; a man of principal. I also wanted him to read, to be physically active and enjoy some of the activities I that I enjoyed like dancing, camping, biking, swimming, exploring and to be trustworthy. I did expect him go work and have a job but he did not have to make oddles of money or even have a degree.. Spirituality was more important than an actual religion and the ability to laugh would be great. . I hoped he would be open minded, non biased or non predigious. It was more about a high level of emotions, a love of learning rather than a formal degree or a high salary. In return I would give him the same.

[@Chernochegger]

I love the suit

[@nopenope7777]

Im high functioning autistic and its so difficult to understand the "dating game". Its getting tiring as i pass 30.

[@Art-is-craft]

But are you really autistic or are you considered to be on the spectrum. Look at yourself and examine are you competent, stable and capable of adapting. You may not have all of those lined up but they are behaviours that can be worked on. Do you have a career?

[@serban2139]

Funny of you to think non autistic people understand it.

[@priscillasanyu]

​@@serban2139what you said ✔️

[@jenA9026]

Hang in there honey. I met my now husband when I was well into my 30s and he was 40.

[@MrMadalien]

You need to find someone who is also autistic, although women have very different presentation

[@usmcbrat2]

In high school that's called sitting at the cool table.

[@Chernochegger]

My personality prof is Sarah Hill, and I was incredulous, turns out Sarah Hill is a popular name is psychology

[@junevandermark952]

When I was in my teens, I knew a woman who was in her early twenties. She was beautiful and also had a beautiful body, but couldn't seem to attract men. I knew a man that thought she was drop-dead gorgeous, and very nice ... yet he wouldn't ask her for a date, because he thought she would refuse him and he didn't want to be embarrassed by such a refusal. There were a lot of datable men around, but they all must have felt the same. At long last ... one of THE most unattractive men, with a dull personality ... nothing to offer ... not even money ... dared to ask her out on a date ... and being desperate she grabbed at the chance. They ended up getting married. He wanted a boy, and when she gave birth to their third girl, he slammed the phone in her ear. He didn't treat her at all well, but being Catholic, she thought she had to stay with him for the rest of her life ... which is what occurred. My guess is, when she couldn't get a date for so long ... her self-esteem went through the floor ... and she grabbed at the first chance to marry. What a shame!

[@Adam-xr6fj]

Fascinating

[@bradastra6111]

damn, thats quite sad..

[@lostieaddict]

that is interesting and tragic

[@frankyu6984]

The simple evolutionary explanation is, people want to surround themselves with whomever they think will increase their chances of survival.

[@DannerBanks]

I dunno - I agree with this hypothesis of men being more attractive based on money. Notwithstanding, when i was dating as a young man at college, i found that most women were indifferent to what i was studying (business managemwnt/information ststems) versus my peers. Perhaps it was because we were all generally competent

[@AIRFGC]

Women in college are in their "discovering themselves" phase, they just want short term fun. When they get older and the biological clock starts ticking, they "realize" what traits are desirable in a long term mate -- once they've had their fun, then they're ready to get serious.

[@neiloychaudhuri]

I didn’t want to watch this video but I’m glad I did

[@kevinobrien5964]

Men understand the equation of looks increasing in relation to how much money you have . ( I'm a 3 )

[@jenA9026]

I have no issue with what JP says here, but if it doesnt fit your characteristics and relationship, it's ok. A relationship is negotiated by two people. Why not use the strengths of each person, whether they conform to stereotypical 'masculine' or 'feminine' characteristics or not? I (female) have been married for 27 years. For the last 15 years, I have employed my husband. I will continue to be the main bread winner into the last 10 years of our money earning period of life. What's important to me is that he isn't freaked out or emasculated by my professional success (such as it is). He always has my back, he celebrates my strengths as I celebrate his, and he makes me laugh like no other. I'm the strategic thinker for the business, but we are equally the strategic thinkers and decision makers for our family. Find someone who loves you for who you are. But also, work to be the best version of that self. Be authentic, be kind. I wish you all happiness and contentment in life.

[@x5xruud]

"The first thing you think is that guy is rich." Wow, who knew women thought like that?

[@chaddisrud535]

I’ve experienced multiple examples in which I meet a new woman at a bar, another woman sees her interest and she is instantly interested in me too. It’s like I’m going to meet no women or multiple women compete to be with me.

[@Halleiujah]

Thanks from ✉️🧚‍♀️

[@bahamagrl8318]

The last evolutionary tactic seems to be what many Instagram influencers did 5-6 years ago. Surround themselves with highly attractive women or models which would boost the jealously factor with other women viewing them. Dr. David Buss discusses this in his book Evolutionary Psychology and many other books on mating. Helen Fischer is also an interesting scientist on mating.

[@rohenry9962]

They still do this today. Enter Micheal Sartain & Men of Action

[@jenA9026]

But how long do the relationships last?

[@justaguy427]

I've been to clubs with very attractive women, outside of my league, and it certainly gathers the attention of other women towards me.

[@Godfrey544]

This is true. It explains why Eliot Roger was still an incel while driving around in his bmw

[@mbg9650]

"All relationship are transactional."― Sherlock H

[@denerickterry57]

Cold hearted fact

[@adriancarlos795]

I create my own happiness

[@raffaelecorrente1123]

The first statement is quote from Harvey specter!

[@Viper3220]

I have no interest in peacocking my status/wealth/success to attract a woman. She either likes me for my personality and my looks or not. If she's making that decision based on what I can provide then I absolutely don't want her

[@user-mr3vz6sm5j]

these days, such behaviour could attract women who are looking for wealth or material security over a real compatible partner

[@jenA9026]

So long as you offer that grace in return, I'm good with this comment of yours.

[@user-qv3kn1bo5p]

Ikr 😂 that’s called simping and it’s not attractive for women either but if u do it for ur self it will be more attractivee

[@mdkhaledhasan8059]

Everyone: Ahahahahaha Jordan: "That's insanely comical."

[@delawarepro3539]

Never compete, Dominate 😎

[@swiftskilly]

I wonder if that last point explains why guys tend to highly value compliments from women who are out of their league versus ones who are less so

[@richardkammerer2814]

Approaching the 5-0, and this sounds vaguely familiar.

[@javitotito]

This is based on if we where animals which we are not. We have our minds that separates us.

[@User-de2rr]

Jordan looks healthy and fresh 👍

[@jeffreyjkkelly2520]

Men carry the man on their shoulders, who was most responsible for winning the big game because they benefited, too. They all basked in the win.

[@pienter593]

This one got me feeling bad actually. I’m 18 yo at the moment and I have not achieved anything significant yet. There is this girl that I’ve started taking a liking to recently, I’m pretty sure she is interested in me as well. The thing is, I’m worried that as soon as she gets to know me a little better, she realizes there really isn’t that much to me as of now. (It’s happened to me before) It’s making me question whether pursuing a relationship is even worth trying at this point in time, because I don’t want to sabotage myself by allowing myself to become a disappointment to someone love, resulting in self hatred. Are there any people who’d care to give me some perspective, or perhaps even advice?

[@RichardDunbar]

I would say feel it out, but don’t put too much energy into trying to build a relationship at that age. Sacrifice your time and energy to build yourself and get ahead. The relationship can Come later

[@journeywithin9155]

If you are taking actions towards getting to where you want to go, a good woman will see that and be attracted to your motivation and drive to create financial stability and emotional safety for her and your potential future family.

[@annea6288]

You are 18 and have plenty of time. You still have some growing up to do. Grow some confidence, learn and establish yourself. This is what I told my now 26 year old son.

[@hex1443]

Believe in yourself man and recognize what makes you unique - your talents and passions… she will see this and admire you for walking your own path. Trust your instincts!

[@ifyofo850]

Pienter! Hello! I just wanted to say that first, you're value and worth are not determined by a woman's opinion of you OR your professional status and quality of living. The only thing that defines you truly are the words of your creator who says you're fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus our Lord paid the ultimate price on the cross just to have a relationship with you. The whole world itself can't even measure up to how valuable you truly are. This is first and foremost. Secondly Pienter, at 18 years old, there is so much that you can do and become. I'm 19 now and even though there is a road paved for me by God to succeed in abundance in the medical field for his glory and purposes, it will still take years to unfold. This is such with our dreams and visions. At 18 (and even 18-25 approximately) you are in the golden years of a young man or woman to build themselves into not just materialistic success with a respectable career (employed at a high level or self-employed). You are at the point where you need to understand you can do so much more because you can BE so much more. It's the period of growth, change, accountability, discipline, how you choose to genuinely approach life in this world, and how you choose to impact others. Remember BECOMING the man that you; 're meant to be is more important than DOING the things he'd do. A genuine woman who is worth your salt (yes worth your salt because remember, you're incredibly VALUABLE the same way everyone else is) and is a woman that you could reasonably pursue at this time will understand your mission, vision, and the direction you're headed and SUPPORT you and bring out the BEST in you as you with her. If she doesn't respect and admire you enough to walk in that direction with you, she wasn't meant to be YOUR woman, and you lost NOTHING because many REAL wonderful women will see you for more than your current success, they'll see who you really are and how you're pursuing the path you're on (but regardless of who enters your life, you must still pursue this)

[@xenxebra2559]

Literally anything but what I am.

[@georginadoll6372]

My mum is sat in West Yorkshire, at 88 years of age, she says Americans have this way of life. They don't think anything of being married four to six times and going with an ugly for the money.

[@heathergrahame9647]

Great conversation. I've often found it confusing (and disparaging) the way men stick together and support each other in what I experience, as a woman, to be sexual harassment. They approach getting a sexual mate as a team event!

[@impudentdomain]

It is a fool's errand for a man to compete with other men for the purpose of being attractive to women. Women cannot be pleased and will interfere with all of your plans. The only women worth having are those who are drawn to you for yourself and want to get on your program. And you have to value yourself before that happens.

[@Art-is-craft]

Now back to biological reality.

[@impudentdomain]

@@Art-is-craft what is unreal about what I said? It is biology that women are drawn to confident men. Chasing a woman shows desperation and lack of confidence.

[@Art-is-craft]

@@impudentdomain Biology has men competing.

[@impudentdomain]

@@Art-is-craft men compete in the marketplace and in sports sure, and you can say passively compete through looks etc. But trying to impress a woman more than the other dude is, like I said foolish. Even if you win out, what sort of prize did you win ? A shallow woman who will try to mess up your life.

[@jenA9026]

Agree! And you need to love and support them equally.

[@maxsiehier]

Very interesting to think about how this originated in hunter-gatherer societies, but goes all the way to today's religious societies where, in Christianity, you have these priests and such circulating Christ and elevating him even more.

[@geomax3465]

I was carefully listening until I realize that they were talking about "A Night at the Roxbury" club scene. 😋

[@actazrath5878]

Thats quick

[@mohammadfarid9198]

Everything that man just said is absolutely right. However, how are we expected to attain wealth, status, ... etc at a young age? Specifically ranging between 18 and 24. Are we not supposed to pursue any relationships at this age frame? Even when we make it as men, would women be the ones pursuing us? The intent behind this topic catching my attention is that there is a girl I met in college. She is super beautiful, nice, and smart as well. I am 20, she's 19. However, I don't have any of the factors mentioned, yet. Should I ask her out? Should I not? Where would this possibly head to?

[@jyc313]

At your age, the potential for what you can bring, is important. Perhaps, more so than when you’re in your late 20’s or 30’s. That and the ability for her to feel like she can connect with you, and have a fun/interesting time. Basically, what I mean is that try to create (naturally) shared experiences that can make her feel emotionally connected to you beyond your looks, material possessions, words, etc. That emotional connection, if genuine and authentic is powerful. Show her your passions. Show her you have goals in mind, and the steps you are, or are planning to take. Show her you have opinions and perspective. Show her you also care about her passions, interests, goals even if they may not exactly be the same as your’s. Be yourself above all. Do not forget who you are as you do any of the above, and be sure to care for yourself first. If you bend at her every will without self respect she will know, and it will backfire. And if you ever feel a time is right to take the next step ask her out, in a casual and friendly manner. It’s all easier said than done, but at your age each moment is chance to test and hone your grit and pain tolerance for life. So even if all else fails, know that you have grown stronger mentally through it. Good luck.

[@ghostly51]

Thank U for seemingly complicated clarity... it makes perfect sense to me as a very masculine male.

[@azimwalker2201]

who is this lady? I liked her vibe so much!!!

[@MS-ns4ki]

I need highly successful, ambitious, and I HAVE to feel you will take care of me.

[@myles3467]

Men elevate the individual who’s most responsible for a win in sports because he elevates the status of all the other men. All of the guys have higher reproductive value with women as a result of a team win even if they weren’t the main reason for it. I disagree it’s out of a spirit to submit to the more competent man. The phenomenon of women pursuing the perception of competence is real though. We called them jersey chasers in college. It why I focused on football more than my schoolwork.

[@michaelanthony4750]

That's what I was thinking. Elevating the group elevates yourself as well.

[@papi5377]

Poznałam kiedyś niesamowitego faceta w Pabie. Był nieziemsko przystojny a my z koleżanką juz po drinku. Rozmowa z nim była ekscytująca. Opowiadał o swojej kobiecie jakby była nie z tej ziemi. Koleżanka zrezygnowała z niego 😂😂😂😂 Mówi do niego 😂😂😂 mam Cię dość!😂😂😂 Chcę powiedzieć , że są faceci którzy trzymają się zasad związku. To było miłe z jego strony.

[@michaeljeffery7466]

Interesting.

[@markharrison5709]

Nice suit

[@ericmatos1025]

@4:20 She conflated the concept of competence with power. We collectively grant power and follow someone that is competent and benevolent, but reject and dethrone someone that is competent but malevolent. We don’t follow power, we grant power and submit to the competent and benevolent. At least as a man, that’s how we think. Women may follow power blindly if that is what she is suggesting…🤷🏻‍♂️

[@andrewpulda7969]

Another possible reason for men of lesser prowess to attach themselves to the "Alpha" male is purely survival. If Alpha a great hunter or warrior, by being in his group "lesser guy" has a better chance to eat or survive the battle, thereby living have chance to bond and mate in the future.

[@Art-is-craft]

That is more or less what they are talking about but here is also a reproductive aspect it as well

[@SanderBessels]

Most men in a group make very little to no chance of being the number one. In a group of 10, only one man has that position, so unless you’re number 2 and closing in on becoming number one yourself, the next best thing is to get a good relationship with the number one. Even if your testosterone levels are high and you have a high sensitivity for your position in the group, it’s obvious that your competition is with your closest competitors and not with individuals ranked much higher or much lower. The kids that are most mean to the least popular kid are not the most popular kids, but the ones that struggle with popularity themselves.

[@jeffreyjkkelly2520]

Interesting, though, they use a lot of words to describe some simple dynamics. And they didn't talk about the important factor of individual familiarity attractions. Being attracted to somebody because of an association with a pleasant experience in the past.

[@jimarger8533]

If this analysis include male motivation then I suggest that I like and respect other men for their competence. Women too. I value but simply am attracted to competency and the social atmosphere around competency. Genuine respect is simply enjoyable, no?