What your romance choice in Baldur’s Gate 3 says about you!

[@Boxfortress]

As a dragonborn Laezel gets to live her life long persuit of riding a dragon .

[@shadowtech9158]

This should have more likes.😂

[@MattR8605]

BRUH 😂

[@adriannavarrete9332]

Ok this got a laugh if I'm being honest

[@XGoreosa]

It took me a minute to realize 😂😂😂

[@theintern3994]

God damn that wad good. Bravo dude.

[@FYGUnkleUrple]

To be fair Gale only robs you like 2, 3 times. Then it's just the "Please let me explode everywhere" part which is.... negotiable.

[@skamp_]

There's no shot he says that. My boyfriend has asked me that in a completely different context

[@FYGUnkleUrple]

@@skamp_ I dunno, man was pretty eager to let that load loose after first seeing the chosen 3. The only other thing that caught his attention was getting some brain.

[@winterviveca5976]

I always imagine my entire party rolling their eyes so hard when Gale proceeds with another one of "pls lemme explode" speeches

[@m3mori]

@@winterviveca5976 how many times did those speeches happen? i romanced gale and i'm a bardlock so i persuaded him to try to find another way, and then after that the only time he mentioned exploding was the thorm fight. i'm only midway through act 3 so maybe it happens again at the elder brain??

[@winterviveca5976]

@@m3mori first when it comes to Elminster, you say "there has to be another way" and he is like "no there is not stfu", then you have a scene in Moonrise when he is melancholic because he thinks about, you know, killing himslef and you are like "there has to be another way" and he is like "no there is not stfu" and then you are at the heart of Absolute and he is ready to do the deed and you are like "let's maybe try to do this the conventional way first" and he is like "yeah ok". And then if I'm not mistaken in Act III the subject of possibly exploding himself is brought up YET AGAIN

[@peasantinabottle4609]

Y'know, as much as I'd love to throw some shade around, I banged a mind-flair for an achievement... So, uh, he who is without sin throw the first stone and all that

[@salmonandsoup]

You're so fucking based. If you genuinely enjoyed the run, don't let the haters get you down.

[@frankisnot1148]

WAIT HOW DO I DO THAT

[@kirstenwyatt9675]

​@@frankisnot1148Dream Guardian, keep trusting/believing him, he will start throwing out flirty lines. I can't remember if it is late 2 or in act 3. Caution, he will show the rest of your party you two canoodling.

[@Cinnaschticks]

​@@kirstenwyatt9675He will WHAT. 😂

[@kirstenwyatt9675]

@@Cinnaschticks I have not done it myself, but at some can't hide it point of the experience, you will hear a party member, and the camera spins to show a portal/window with three of your party members.

[@chariiteee]

astarion is "i will fix him" to the EXTREME and i say this as an astarion lover

[@damien678]

I, personally, want him to make me worse.

[@sionan7937]

lmao my Astarion choice is 100% because i want my "i can fix him" to be right for once

[@chariiteee]

@@sionan7937 and it will be the right choice!!!

[@jaimebibelot4398]

​@@damien678valid

[@twocents7509]

Lol, same

[@e.c.sherman4749]

Don't you DARE call me out twice with Halsin lmfao

[@ErieRosewood]

tiger pfp checks out

[@therubypenguin8042]

Haha mood

[@damien678]

@@ErieRosewood 💀

[@jameraash9042]

i knew right.😋

[@Pygs]

he really got that extra attack off

[@lemondropcentral14]

Considering act 1 romance scene with Gale is getting a magic lesson, i think the fucking the professor sentiment goes for him too 😂

[@crazylilmonsta7923]

You know... I didn't know that was his romance scene till i just read this comment...im not even trying to go for gale...god dang it gale...xD

[@redgoldcrown3990]

if he lives and doesn't become a god I think he actually does become a professor lmao.

[@HeyitsEm18]

@@redgoldcrown3990he does it’s my favorite ending 😂 my elf Paladin who’s an absolute tank with her squishy wizard professor

[@vinnm4516]

Look in my defense Wyll is a hopeless romantic and I am WEAK to a pretty boy in a crop top

[@haniashah1311]

I mean, he literally follows courting procedure. How do I NOT swoon?

[@eliscoby3242]

I had no chance after the celebration for saving the grove, he hooked me

[@themudpit621]

The face me makes when you reject him is almost reason enough to never do it.

[@sagesaria]

He's also just a wholesome, sincere man who's doing his best to do right by the world and those around him. There's nothing wrong with choosing the healthy ones!

[@eliscoby3242]

@@sagesaria exactly

[@buhguh-r8g]

You guys remember the guy who was really nervous about going to a gay club for the first time but was insulted really harshly by a guy he was talking to when he finally mustered up the courage to go and left devastated and sobbing? Astarion was the guy who made him cry.

[@cyborgcatrj6794]

Yup, he’s the closest I get to liking one of the romance options, but he is also an absolute monster unless you’re constantly leaning on his shoulder to do the right thing.

[@buhguh-r8g]

@@cyborgcatrj6794 I like Gale and Karlach's personalities the most, but I'm not physically attracted to them so I haven't gone with them. It was on sight with Astarion for me, I killed him as soon as I met him.

[@chrisyoung9891]

You can rez Astarion if you murder him straight away and get some surprisingly jovial conversation out of it. (Rogues are always worth keeping in the back pocket. By level 10 they cannot roll lower than a ten in skills they are proficient in. 100% worth having a skeleton key in the party.)

[@buhguh-r8g]

@@chrisyoung9891 I feel like by level 10 most classes are going to be rolling very well on average regardless, and shadowheart has good bonuses to slight of hand anyway so I haven't been missing him too much so far.

[@diorsse]

@@buhguh-r8gyou did miss out on the best companion quest and best performance by killing astarion tho. he's a bit of an asshole in act 1 but his character progression makes it worth sticking by

[@tiimepetals]

astarion and gale’s sad wet cat energy has captured my heart and attention

[@Ghastlyteaparty]

Halsin romance is for folks whose first therapy session starts with "my dad went out to buy a pack of cigs and never came back".

[@ambrose6333]

MINTHARA MENTION LETS FUCKING GO

[@Justin-ww2gy]

we are simps for an evil milf and we are proud of that

[@pessimisticpals]

best option

[@whiskey5106]

You killed some annoying kid then you get to clap drow cheeks? It’s a win-win my guy.

[@Reign_PaladinofVengeance]

Best sex scene in the game no contest

[@natakug1]

I think my buddy said it best. "Minthara the only option who gives head on a first date"

[@philbuttler3427]

I like Wyll cause he dragged my ass on a whole ass emotional rollercoaster when I did a playthrough where I romanced him. What a curve ball.

[@SpartanOli]

Astarion is more like: "He's a red flag nuke, but you chose to be colorblind"

[@moptop1052]

"You have a very specific type, & that type is man who was accused of being gay in middle school." Me, a bisexual guy with a major crush on Astarion: I see this as an absolute win

[@damien678]

🤝

[@Yu-jiSenna]

🤝 - some queer thespian

[@GermenglineseOne]

Why is all the Halsin flavor "what your romance choice/fave character" stuff so fucking accurate for me all the time???

[@Moccashio]

Okay but- the Astarion and Halsin ones felt like a personal attack. I'm feeling attacked.

[@carpenternathaniel7461]

Minthara hits my humor and heart just right.

[@gammashark]

nah i picked astarion to say to him the things i wish someone would say to me about my own similar trauma 😭😭 he's got a cathartic storyline but damn if it didn't give me 3am breakdowns sometimes

[@ettaetta439]

Yeah, I picked him initially because hot vampire man, but then he started talking more and more about his trauma. I didn't have similar circumstances of SA to him since mine was when I was younger and didn't last as long so I didn't relate to a lot, but I understood why he acted the way he did and I empathized.

[@TheAtlarchy]

I whiped out an entire colony of people to reject a girl... Wyll was angry... Gale was oddly understanding...

[@MehRHEE]

Me who was romancing Astarion so hard then ending up in a polyamorous relationship with him and Halsin says everything about me. 😂

[@zhenghao123]

you want a femboy and a daddy at the sametime?

[@maybemablemaples2144]

Halsin is big enough for the both of you... and that's pretty neat.

[@twomeow9904]

Yea I end up with ascendant Astarion plus Halsin. I've got bad sugar daddy and cute daddy Halsin. Everyone is OK with that 😅

[@angrynerdgirl]

I met Karlach and everyone else literally vanished into the background.

[@Summer-jy1my]

So did I. And then I discussed it with my sister and a friend I play dos2 with and both of them felt the same. Sapphics... 😂

[@lrose5522]

Literally me tho akdnwkd I was set to ride or die with Astarion but then I met Karlach and I fell in love

[@ladykryo4592]

Fkn mood

[@keke7400]

Gale is honestly a sweetheart

[@salmonandsoup]

I will take no Gale slander. Without spoiling too much, Mystra can choke. She did this man so fucking dirty. And he's still under her spell, and it's so fucking painful to see. Also, Wyll is. So good. I love him to death. He just tries to be kind! That's it! He tries to be kind. He's worth everything to me. Halsin's was accurate.

[@cassiapeian]

Big yes to Wyll. Mizora TRIES to make this man miserable and regret his choice, and yet he's still kind and uses his power to help others (often at his own expense)

[@salmonandsoup]

@@cassiapeian AND THAT IS WHY HE IS BEST BOY AND WHY I AM ROMANCING HIM SO HARD! It's because he TRIES TO DO RIGHT. Even when it is hard. Even when it is painful. I love him.

[@aefiss2639]

agreed. Gale deserves love not hate

[@salmonandsoup]

@@aefiss2639Gale is suffering in the aftermath of heavy emotional abuse, just like Astarion with Cazador. He deserves love and sympathy and joy.

[@aefiss2639]

@@salmonandsoup I feel like I must add the fact that though he IS recovering from abuse like Astarion, he doesn't actively make a conscious decision to hurt and manipulate others like Astarion do which speaks volumes on what a good person he is. I mean don't get me wrong, I love that pale vamp boy but come on... He's mildly toxic and manipulative at best. Fun to see on games & romance in a non-real setting, but in real life we all know he's the type of guy who would traumatize you so bad you turn asexual 🤷‍♀️

[@makq00]

i bought the game thinking i would be an astarion die hard, but the second gale popped out of that rock i fell SO HARD for him, of course u can eat my shoes babe

[@Kattaccino]

the shoes comment has me cackling thank u

[@redunderscore]

“You’d wipe out an entire colony of people? For a girl?” Yes. And I’d do it again 🤭

[@Zthewise]

I wasn't even trying to romance Lae'zel with one of my characters. He's a chaotic omnibus of classes who dives head first into problems without thinking, succeeding mostly on dumb luck. She is a tactical no nonsense warrior. Yet somehow he's gotten her to fall head over heels for him. My favorite interaction so far is introducing her to the concept of cuddling by saying "I want to listen to your warriors drum" in regards to laying his head on her chest and hearing her heart beat.

[@amokriinprolgiid3409]

I agree on the girls who are into horoscopes thing. They're all bad news. I've never met a girl who was into horoscopes who didn't low-key (or high-key) treat it like a new way to discriminate against people. All of them swear to whatever God they claim to believe in that they're not like that and that they don't do that, and then they turn around and do exactly that. It's like a new form of socially acceptable (even though it shouldn't be) discrimination and it's annoying. Anytime I hear a girl ask me about my horoscope, I nope right out of that conversation, and dodge when they try to ask me when I was born. And sadly, it's a shockingly large portion of women I've met. Wouldn't be caught dead on a date with one of them. Tried it once, never again. Avoid it, boys, it's just not worth it.

[@PhaethonCrafts]

Lae'zel has major dommy mommy energy and I'm all for it.

[@greyngreyer5]

Shadowheart seemed lost from the beginning. I didn't realise I was in for the cutest thing ever, too. And all the feels. I can't romance anyone else

[@brycethebattlephoenix3720]

Im just a ity bitty an i want to fall asleep next to my own giant personal heater

[@TheDragonCat99]

Gale is a package deal with a flying cat, of course he wins

[@Stray_Moth]

Halsin my beloved

[@LatinaCreamQueen]

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!

[@atiithe]

I bought the game for Astarion, but Halsin won me over. He’s so 😍

[@apathyisdeath5749]

the most boring ass shit of a character lmao

[@themangoartificer882]

Astarion is a criminal through and through but he get so much better when you do his quest line right

[@s1b3r11]

Emm... Karlach has been using soul coins and literally destroying people's souls for 10 years. Lae'zel is a supremacist who has been murdering and enslaving races she considered as 'slaves' before the game. Shadowheart confesses to torturing (and probably murdering too ) innocent people on her own free will for her evil cult. Gale knowingly risked the existence of the entire region or perhaps even the world for his pride.. Wyll has been murdering people he knew nothing about because Mizora told him to, does not regret his action and mocks other people's torture... Minthara...is Minthara. It's honestly tiring and annoying how people always single out Astarion as the bad one. If Astarion is a criminal than they all are criminals.

[@dramaticmes]

As someone whose emotionally torn between my obsession for Astarion and my love for Gale I can proudly say that I know the reasons for both. Astarion I treasure, I love him, he is my favorite person that happens to be emotionally unavailable just like all the other guys I’ve fallen into obsession over, not really choice I just fell for his way of words. Gale is exactly my type, a handsome pretty boi whose an idiotic smartass of a dork and says the most awkward of flirting. I fücking love that man. Bonus: Halsin is what I feel like my dream guy should be yet is not exactly what I fall for. I adore him and crush on him but will never feel much farther. His route is cute tho, brings me joy.

[@aefiss2639]

that's a very accurate description of gale, i must say

[@jentamaria46]

😂 so we just gonna slide past the Emporer like that?

[@EvanFarshadow]

I JUST WANNA FIX ASTARION 😭😭😭😭😭 He actively dissociates during some scenes bc he was basically a s*x slave for 200 years. I must protect my sassy vampire boyfriend ;-;

[@waterdog737]

aww you don't fix those romance options, they fix you

[@EvanFarshadow]

@@waterdog737 ok you don't gotta call me out on that xD i definitely use helping Astarion to help with my own SA therapy.

[@insertname954]

I wanna make him worse

[@damien678]

Low-key hate myself for reading that as "bussy vampire boyfriend" 😂🔫

[@EvanFarshadow]

@@damien678 you know you want that vampire bussy

[@chiraffo]

As one of the few Wyll lovers, how very dare you. He’s such a sweetheart. 😭😭

[@TheAwesomeMed]

I picked Lae'zel. This man gets me.

[@lanakeni5003]

I... I hate how accurate the Halsin one is.

[@Lemon-ou9el]

“You want to be stepped on SO hard” I do, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.

[@Gray69420lol]

Man who was accused of being gay in middle ✨shool✨

[@redmondhenry398]

To be fair horoscopes in this world are complwtely legit, being into that irl i would agree

[@havendidit]

better title: Roasting you based on your romance choice in Baldur's Gate 3!

[@sadist8902]

leave my vampire alone, will you? People simply can’t recognize sophistication when they see it.

[@DnDweeb]

I mean, if Halsin was the college professor then 100%, without hesitation.

[@Yumz_I_Guess]

I like how Karlach does a little “yesss” after you invite them to bed

[@imaran1303]

-You wiped out a entire colony, for a girl? In my defence, the colony were all douchebags, the Tieflings and the Druids both... But nah, I didn't. Added a mod that allowed me to recruit her even if I didn't wipe out the criminal Tieflings or the racist druids and with the new version, I don't even need the mod.

[@elijahmartin4440]

The description of Gale killed me

[@captianbacon]

There are only 3 real romance options in bg3. Shadowheart the waifu of the people, karlach the hot mommy, and minthara yes and id burn any number of villages for her.

[@pessimisticpals]

minthara is the best option

[@chrisyoung9891]

Misspelt Lae'zel. It's okay. It's a weird spelling.

[@captianbacon]

@chrisyoung9891 I'm sorry yellow obnoxious space elf with a temper

[@ruki4929]

I like karlach because she's upfront and just enjoys life

[@hugechunguss1427]

As someone that romances Minthara every playthrough yes, I do it for her every time

[@planah6198]

Mintharas voice is 🤌

[@Talabardiere]

Best option: dowloading a mod that allows you to create your companion like the guardian in the beggining to simp over them 🤣

[@thekingofgreen1765]

Nah mate, I didn't wipe out a colony, I wiped THE ENTIRETY OF BALDURS GATE AS DURGE FOR SOMEONE JUST AS VILE AS ME

[@Heckpup]

*slow raise of hand as a Minthara lover* Actually writing Minthara X Karlach fanfiction so both points are somehow true at the same time. Love me some scary women to simp over

[@damien678]

Ok, I gotta hear more about this ship

[@InsaneLaughter01]

I chose Astarion because any attractive man with fangs makes me a puddle of feelings. Plus he’s actually a softy.

[@RealGeralt36]

Karlach is exactly what I want in a woman, very direct. No confusion here

[@augustsart5374]

Ngl love me a woman who could throw a car at me. 😂

[@YeetYeet-vj8vl]

I played multiplayer with my cousin and set him up with Asarion because I thought it would be hilarious and it was. Every-time my cousin would choose a mean option to brake up the relationship Asarion would somehow make it flirty.

[@lightyagami77777]

I'm about 100 hours in and I've been romancing Gale. Sometimes I worry that I made the wrong choice because every other guy (and most of the women) seem more appealing, but I'm already this far with him so I have to see it through. Plus he seemed like I was always going to be his second choice, and that's a big trap for me. Red Prince from DOS2, and now Gale.

[@slymanva9983]

The Karlach one was perfect thank you

[@gr1mreap3rz15]

as a guy who romanced astarion i see this as an absolute win

[@IMAComedy]

Cardiologists wish they were this surgical

[@truko5039]

Yo! For real, Helsin got that professor vibes!

[@qweztionable]

New Baldur’s gate player here: I didn’t know that Minthara was an important character, so when I freed Halsin from the goblins I just killed her without even interacting with her 😭😭

[@lurkingposter]

So many of these memes miss the fact that Lae'zel is a low-key bottom that gets off on being intimidated and put into a sub role.

[@Tezemya]

Lel the Astarion one is too on point xD I used to like men so feminine my parents thought I was secretly a lesbian (still like fruity men)

[@majinmanmartianhunter4995]

I picked wyll twice …he’s just to hot and gentlemanly

[@Magpie-Syndrome]

Idk why I’m just arriving to the party but to add onto the Astarion statements: - You either have a crippling savior complex or you’re an enabler - Get therapy. He needs it, I need it, and you do too. He’s one of my comfort characters too people - PUT. THE. FANFICS. DOWN. I AM BEGGING YOU

[@MrNoremac208]

The first time playing the game and going through all their intros when i got to Karlach's I was like "yep im gonna fuck that tiefling".

[@braedenmclean5304]

Energy can be finite and infinite at the same time, since it can be eternal

[@ewok40k]

I went for all of 3 companion girls on different plays. But never for Minthara. Sorry, drow gal, but this grove is under my protection now

[@amoctheflock1364]

Didn't have to kill a whole village to get Minthara so jokes on you.

[@aidanwagar]

I may or may not have sided with minthara because i was impressed with myself for sneaking into the goblin camp without attacking and then accidentally fell down a rabbit hole

[@lukelyon1781]

As someone who likes both Astarion and Karlach, this is valid.

[@tyrfang]

I romanced Lae'zel to put her in her place. And she loved every second of it.

[@KitsuneFyora]

I'm not scared Karlach is going to throw a car at me. I'm scared she's going to randomly go blind the moment I need help 😆

[@mollymachado]

Sir, I don’t even play this game and I feel very cold out because I already know who my ass is romancing

[@lawrencefosterjenkins8216]

“Man who was accused of being gay in middle school” dude doesn’t even know me and he clocked me so hard

[@BiggieL123]

I was also there, but…

[@RedLilyCat]

I married the straight guy who was accused of being gay! He's the best

[@AzariahMarinaStarcaster]

Yeeeeaaaah 😅

[@f0xcaster]

I love Karlach because she's so genuine. Nothin hidden because she knows she doesn't have the time for that. Plus she's sunshine with anger issues and I resonate with that

[@michaelk9279]

Anger issues? Her anger solves all my problems, actually.

[@marinaatkin1581]

She is so sunshine. Golden retriever of a woman

[@TsarofScars]

@@michaelk9279 ANGER SOLUTIONS, BABY! ALL GAS, NO BRAKES, HEAD-ON INTO THE FRAY WITH MY FAVORITE BIG TALL MASSIVE STRONG ADHD GIRL

[@jessepinkman3155]

@@marinaatkin1581not to mention she’s 6’2 and will probably dominate you but at the same time be really gentle and ngl I’m into that

[@lello2031]

Exactly why she got sold to Zariel. "Nothin' hidden."

[@Feyrae]

gale's sad wet divorced dad energy has captivated me

[@Notllamalord]

Wet 😭

[@shakirashipslied9721]

​@@Notllamalordsoggy, even

[@glepiarz]

This is terrible and absolutely correct 💀

[@chillfactory9000]

oh so THATS why I like him. I see

[@FallenRigel]

YOU GET IT. HE IS A SOPPING WET KICKED PUPPY I FOUND OUTSIDE ON THE STREETS IN THE RAIN N A CRUMBLING CARDBOARD BOX AND HE GAVE ME THOSE PLEADING EYES SO I TOOK HIM HOME AND NOW HE FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE

[@fwdcnorac8574]

Karlach is the perfect woman. No bullshit, calls you out on your bs decisions, straight to the point, no mixed messaging, watches your back, trusts you, will take a bullet for you, will absolutely devour whatever you bring home for dinner.

[@Jay-bq1dq]

Facts.

[@Pink.Maiden]

And she's just so happy to be alive 🥹

[@larsbohmer6319]

... I had killed her on my Tiefling(Oathbreaker/Necromancer Wizard) Tav Run... Because she is Part Devil, her Mother was an regular Tiefling who was killed by Karlach(on Orders and by Deception)

[@fwdcnorac8574]

@larsbohmer6319 We can't be friends.

[@larsbohmer6319]

@@fwdcnorac8574 I felt very bad too, so I deleted that save and started new

[@erberor8007]

Gale: takes 3-4 hot garbage magic items you were never going to use. Players: I will never financially recover from this

[@deanospimoniful]

The value doesn't matter, it's the fact that their dragon hoard is getting smaller.

[@xuanathan]

"NOOOOO MY HECKIN GLOVES OF ARCHERYYY!" - Player with no archers

[@USERR642]

​@@xuanathan😂

[@TheSilverOne878]

​@@deanospimonifulAmount of loot is proportional to successful quests. If your hoard is getting smaller...

[@scribbles_spills_the_ink]

Alright so spoilers here for Act...2? 1-2? But you know when you save Arabella? The little girl that was going to be offed by that horrible druid woman and her snake? Arabella's mom gives the player a locket after we save Arabella. Now...I had to abandon a playthrough in the beginning of act 3 for embarrassing reasons, so when I started my new game, I was trying to go through as fast as I could while still making all my good aligned choices because...I'm autistic with hyper empathy and will cry if I make the pixels sad. But when Gale first asked for an item...I didn't have any except for the locket that Arabella's mom gave us, but the thing is that I know what happens to Arabella's mom and dad later in the game, so I literally sat at my computer for like 20-30 minutes just debating with myself if I should give Gale the locket or not. I really didn't want to because in my head it was like, "Oh but Arabella doesn't have her parents anymore and she might want the locket back to have something of her mom" (I do not think this is possible in game, this was literally just in my brain) At first I told him no, but then he yelled at me! 😂 And I didn't want the pixels to hate me so I went back and sat at my computer again for a while before painstakingly giving up the locket that I had grown sentimental about. Lol Then Gale told Tav, "Your kindness truly knows no bounds" and I remember feeling like I just let Tav and I get gaslighted a little bit by Gale. 😂

[@matthewlabodin3981]

I tried to romance Shadowheart because I was playing a cleric of Selûne and I wanted the drama.

[@damien678]

So..... Tell us how it went 🍵

[@constructionbird]

You must tell us how it went

[@RetroRadianceLight]

Ah, like a catholic and a Protestant marrying

[@Nisselak]

@@RetroRadianceLight more like: a christian and a satanist marrying

[@guacamojo]

but were you a gith too

[@Rattyfanboy]

Okay but Wyll is such a gentleman

[@phantasmicmasque]

He solidified as one of my favorites when he was so sweet with the kids.

[@siph0r154]

Lets be real. From a common sense perspective, IF those were real people, Wyll is the only sane choice 😂 But since it's NOT! Goth GF all the way xD

[@Theogwhitemask]

@@siph0r154ok bud you might need the exorcist

[@cleverravenno7]

I accidentally romanced gale to the point of extreme sexual tension that I didn't pick up till midway through because I thought he would teach me more about magic and wizard stuff.

[@Zyncra]

If you didn't pick up that undertone that's on you

[@cleverravenno7]

@@Zyncra I am stupid. Also I was completely entranced by the idea of some buff to my magic

[@dotthedot9080]

​@@cleverravenno7the acest of allos

[@lesbianslipknotfan]

as an asexual im crying tgats so funny because i did it too

[@skylertrotta3547]

@@Zyncra i didnt pick up on that undertone either, but I'm autistic. I think a lot of neurodivergent people didn't pick up on it because it wasn't made obvious, and not everyone is great at reading subtle feelings of others especially in video games

[@Fab4Sunrises]

Honestly Gale stood in a corner at a party talking about his cat and I fell in love

[@namtellectjoonal7230]

Excuse you? She's clearly a Tressym, not an ordinary cat 😤

[@symphonicstorm317]

Honestly the bigger red flag with Gale is that he spends the entire first date simping for his ex.

[@SerxhioGjata]

His ex is a god that groomed him since childhood.

[@aefiss2639]

I would argue Astarion is a much bigger red flag. He straight up *kills* you and doesn't even feel sorry for it, attempts to manipulate you, and if you get his bad ending & rejects him, he'll admit he only wants to use you and doesn't love you at all. Not only is he physically abusive, he's also emotionally abusive. Under certain circumstances he's literally Cazador 2.0 -- not sure why people can't see that....

[@EVILSCOTSMAN2k11]

​@aefiss2639 "Sexy vampire man" seems to be the prevailing reason on why it gets overlooked.

[@aefiss2639]

@@EVILSCOTSMAN2k11 well said, couldn't agree more

[@alearnedman]

While it's a bit annoying that Gale can't shut up about Mystra, it's also quite understandable. She's literally a goddess

[@shibe5877]

Listen, wyll is the most normal and healthy person in the whole camp, hes the most loyal and kind and he doesnt try to kill you or expect anything from you. Yes hes a little cheesy but hes sweet and only wants the best for everyone and i love him so much I WOULD KILL FOR HIM 😭

[@zeenoash.8805]

See the problem here? Since you've picked the normal one, YOU get to be the abnormal one... /j

[@SoarinCloudhoof]

He also really isnt over his ex

[@kaworob]

I would say, Gale has it worse for his ex...

[@helenkord6244]

@@SoarinCloudhoof which ex??

[@SoarinCloudhoof]

@@helenkord6244 demon mommy

[@ItsYaBoiV]

Gale's breakdown if you call sexy time with him "fine" is the funniest thing in the universe, and then he's like "f*ck it I'm going to kms"

[@aefiss2639]

sad but funny

[@genuineinterest]

Wait does he actually kill himself or is it just a bit in the game. Is it possible to lose Gale by being a little critical of his technique oh my god

[@aefiss2639]

@@genuineinterest not to my knowledge haha, we were just joking

[@genuineinterest]

@@aefiss2639 ahaha thank god, the fact that this is a believable notion about Gale is really funny though

[@vokdmso9898]

wait he does that? when i tried saying it was “fine” he just told me he was a lonely man in a tower for a long time so he didnt get much practice for a while

[@idrisredacted1229]

How dare you! Karlach is a sweetheart! She wouldn't throw a car at me for breaking up with her! ...she would look sad enough for it to be equally painful though.

[@pablodonner5213]

You can't break up with Karlach because she looks at you with sad puppy eyes and you fall in love all over again, you can not escape golden retriever from hell, don't even try

[@dotthedot9080]

​@@pablodonner5213literally a wolfdog, people think she's a terrifying monster, but she's a puddle of cuddles

[@Rumit279]

​@@pablodonner5213"golden retriever from hell" damn that fits her so well

[@teaoclock9080]

My girlfriend accidentally broke Karlach's heart by exploring the wrong dialogue choices with Shadowheart at the wrong time. Utterly devastating, would not recommend (she reloaded the previous save, of course, but you can't unsee the devastation)

[@noaperez7281]

Why break up karlach? She is ok if you fuck with Haslin... And Emperor... And the drow brother sister.

[@CinnamonQuills]

The Emperor: Even after you found out that the hunky Nigerian Prince who messaged you on Facebook and needed all your money to fly to meet you and recover his throne was an imprisoned Cambodian romance scammer you were still like "You know what? We can make this work."

[@laurenhembree7570]

Thx I needed this

[@Xxsorafan]

Astarion is every savior fantasy except you do actually fix him. Or corrupt him further we love options

[@damien678]

He made me worse 😂

[@Beanz-on-Toast]

I tell people Astarion is my choice and they accuse me of having the "I can fix him 🥺" mentality but NO BESTIE I WANNA MAKE HIM WORSE HE'S HOT ASCENDED.

[@minnymoon1360]

@@Beanz-on-Toastme to. I don’t want to fix him. I want his to fix himself. To be a better person

[@panonymousbloom5405]

​@@Beanz-on-Toast YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS 😭 Soul siblings

[@toolatetothestory]

He is relatable and I want someone to fix me, so I am REALLY just projecting

[@plantishfellow]

The college professor line was a personal attack

[@TheBlackLakeSiren]

Ik!

[@hailthequeenFM]

How dare you assume things about me that are entirely true.

[@QueenyBunny]

Yeah, I gasped lmao

[@PossibleBat]

Still true tho

[@HazeEmry]

Both reads were so true for me it hurts 😂

[@RailfoxStudios]

On one hand, I’m genuinely surprised how accurate he was. Spot-on with my picks (Astarion, Karlach and Halsin). But on the other hand, The Emperor wasn’t mentioned, and therefore I’m absolutely *offended* that this man didn’t finish shaming me. If you’re gonna put me on blast, at least cover the freaks like me who also went for the purple squid man!

[@forgottenartform]

I mean purple squid man, kinda writes itself- rule34, hentai, hide your Internet history, things like that 😊

[@undeadleyley]

nonono i picked astarion because unlike real life, astarion ACTUALLY listens to me and eventually ends up actually wanting me

[@ErieRosewood]

i unfortunately cant beat the allegations. all of my crushes in middleschool were gay coded. fucking hell.

[@retro3856]

Until you let him bite you one last time and now you’re a piece of meat again.

[@charlotteblossom3408]

@@retro3856 this only happens if you consistently enable all of his worst behavior because you think the evil vampire dom trope is so hot you let your boyfriend lose his soul over it i don't like to victim blame but that one's on you if that happens tbh

[@retro3856]

@@charlotteblossom3408 never romanced him. And it isn’t victim blaming remotely, although he will only bite you again if you ascend him and if you do he will and always will treat you like trash. You are a spawn you are not his equal anymore you are his lesser. Better off just shoving a piece of wood in his head and replacing him with drow dommy mommy. Or just don’t romance him and have the best brother relationship with durge and astarion. Or having an actual meaningful relationship with lazel who straight up is probably the most wholesome relationship next to shadowheart. Even minthara is pretty sweet when you get past her fortress of walls.

[@adnaP_esreveR]

@@retro3856 This is false. He treats you nicely if not ascended and on a romance route you get the opportunity to feed him your blood even if you tell him he can feed on enemies. (Or at least that's what happened to me) Though obviously this can't turn you into a vampire unless you ascend him (which turns him into the worst version of himself and a copy of his abuser so of course he'd be a dick to you what did you expect?) but being a spawn sucks anyway (pun intended). If you romance an unascended Astarion and don't be a dick to him the experience is rather pleasant. Though bittersweet, because he'll lose his immunity to sunlight. In the epilogue he says he'd understand if you don't wanna spend your entire life in the dark. (My character happened to be a Drow so they didn't care lmao)

[@NobodyDungeons]

To be fair that college writing professor was 28 and in very good shape.

[@alanp741]

Young college professors are the best tbh

[@geoffreyhebel2438]

Halsin 100% is literally a bear. He has such big daddy energy

[@MyUsernameIsGoofy]

Halsin is both a bear and *a* bear.

[@VanNessy97]

I want to make my Tav a twink that will pair nicely with Halsin's bear

[@meandmyinsanity]

He's such a service top too, I love him

[@theprobester6034]

He’s literally a muscle bear daddy ❤❤

[@dotthedot9080]

​@@meandmyinsanityput a collar around that man's neck and you'll never see either of us ever again

[@Corvidriot]

Wyll is just the most simple and straightforward man there is, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with falling for a character who returns maybe 1/7th the romantic attention until the end of the game

[@tamar7065]

Would prefer this honestly. On my first playthrough and it seems like every single one of these people is trying to jump me and I'm interested in like two of them.

[@spicysalad3013]

@@tamar7065 bro fr you're nice to like one child and gale wants to get you pregnant immediately

[@Ace_Maus]

Gale is the cat dad, wine uncle, literature nerd that pretends they're the most innocent two-shoes but is secretly super kinky guy. I love him. :3

[@dhampir_days]

you KNOW that enchantment on his underwear was doing some shit

[@kariissmol9172]

And then he has flashbacks to his cat when you lick the dead spider.

[@PossibleBat]

I read dead cat, and it also so,show fits

[@kingkitryne]

i love him!!

[@ruby7684]

@@kariissmol9172 Gale: Stoplickingthedamnthing!