When Anorexia just becomes 'Normal/Non-existent..'.. Your thoughts 190316

I'm just me, I now don't really think, at all, that I could possibly be out in the street and have anyone think/wonder if I had Anorexia... Your feedback Please- did this/has this happened to you guys at all and how does it affect or not affect your self sense of a Being..

[@Madamjojo84]

Familararity brings complacency unfortunately. Very insightful vid.

[@LolitaIsDead76]

+triggerjo84 Thank you hunnie xx

[@TheFindingLight]

oh crap......this is so real for me right now O_O Not on the same level as you, but just the fact that only eating bits and pieces here and there rather than a "normal" 3 meals a day, or avoiding food all day long so that i can afford to eat something special at night... that doesn't seem weird to me anymore. it's just how i go about my day!! like i know in my mind that obviously what i'm doing isn't "normal" per se, but to me it's just how i live now. i'm so used to barely eating anything, or having that one day in the week i set aside that im allowed to eat all the goodies i want....oy it's hard to think on, really.

[@hayleybrooks9172]

oh SJ I'm not cross with you and I'm sorry that I came across that way. I really hope some day uou can be more comfortable with yourself

[@FroggyTWrite]

what other people think will not make you get well, it has to come from within. where you are should not be perceived normal, but what do you expect people to do? where do you see yourself going forward? there are so many other things that can make who you are.. do you choose to have you illness define you, or has that just happened? who would you be without it? is that even something you are interested in? i am not trying to be mean, just blunt/matter of fact.

[@LolitaIsDead76]

+FroggyTWrite Over the last 2 years or so, with my son being independent and not living with me, I feel as though I have lost my sense of purpose and yes, become 'The Anorexia'.... Hell knows, I wish it wasn't like that but right now, I can't see a way out. I know you're not being mean, just honest so thank you xx

[@FroggyTWrite]

+LolitaIsDead76 i'm glad it did not come across that way! thankfully there is always a way to change. for better or worse, nothing permanent :+) what do you do for therapy? have you ever heard of dbt/act? also, do you take any vitamins or omega-3 supplements?

[@LolitaIsDead76]

+FroggyTWrite I did 18 months of DBT which I must say, was/is possibly the most effective therapy I've had over the last 25 years, as in, I still use it now, so much as is possible and I'd recommend it it to virtually anyone!!My supplements are Fortisip Meal Drinks, Ferrous Sulfate (Iron), B-Vitamin compound, Thiamine, Adcal D3,and multi-vits plus I take fish oils. My main problem is that I *Know* only I can help myself, with support but also, have to come to terms with the fact that I cannot live in a child-like physical body for much longer... and that is hard for me. I SO value your input- thank you. xx

[@hayleybrooks9172]

To be brutally honest, if I saw you in the street and didn't know you I'd think "she's borderline tubefed" . You may think its normal because you aren't losing any weight, however one of the first vids I saw was of you on a bike ride. I don't imagine you could still do that. You say you hate the skin you're in but why would you like the skeletal look? Do you not see that when you look in a mirror? An adult should not fit into kids clothes - how is that normal? what scares you about gaining weight to the point your BMI is in the right range, or using the old scale that you're the right weight for your height.

[@LolitaIsDead76]

+Hayley Brooks The fear comes from my history...and feeling mentally safe where I am.... I've got a lot of therapy to get through still, Hayley-please, don't be cross with me- I'm trying every day to work this shit out...Much love to you xx

[@muddy8234]

No, you do not look normal. You look ill and I thought initially you were an elderly woman. Even with 2 stone added to your weight you would still be slim/skinny. You say you don't want to get well, why is that? I have an incurable disease which has plagued my life for 25 years and would do anything to get rid of it. Do you not want to get well because you are frightened of what is expected of you should you get well? ie a job, no one to look after you daily? You do mention your mental health issues but I too have BPD and other illnesses and have spent time in the pysch ward, but I don't want to be DEFINED by these illnesses. The Crohn's Disease I have often makes my weight drop to a very low level and I am hospitalised and drip fed and thank God for that feed or I would be dead. You need to look outside of yourself and maybe get a glimpse into other people's worlds. It is not your fault you have anorexia but you CAN cure it, if you wish, some others aren't lucky enough to have that option, tough though it may be.

[@LolitaIsDead76]

+Muddy I'd trade my life with this illness for someone elses in order for them to be well/have an illness removed but please, please know- I DID NOT choose this and after so many years, was just trying to communicate that I don't know how to live any other way right now.... Much love to you xx

[@babyjane7031]

+LolitaIsDead76 xxxxx take care