When Christmas Isn't the Same as it Used to Be

[@gentleandquietliving]

Are you experiencing this now? What stage of grief are you in?

[@ldchristenson1267]

Hi. Thanks for the video! Ican so relate!! 4 years ago, everything changed for me. I was grieving the end of my 20 yr marriage AND suddenly being an empty nester when I moved out of our family home. Im still in sad mode and have never really entered the anger step. I should be angry! But, it is what it is. God is my saving grace! Merry Christmas& Happy New Year to you!

[@PaulaRamm]

Yes, I am totally experiencing this this season!

[@jewelysjourney7136]

Very accurate. I’m in several changes. My oldest is married and has kids. My youngest is a senior in high school. I moved to a new town and started a new job and left all my friends at 51. So many changes! I shared this on my Facebook page!

[@gentleandquietliving]

Wow, that is a lot of changes! Crazy how so much can change at once, and so fast. Thank you so much for sharing! ♥

[@pattilong9630]

I had to go through this when my kids moved out. Last year Dad was with us and now he's gone. It's a different kind of year. I've read through Luke this season, trying to rely on God.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Yes, it's an even deeper sadness when someone you love is no longer with you. May God fill you to overflowing with his abundant, incredible love this year. ❤

[@stephaniecole4609]

That 1st year after is always the worst. However it's a time to stop and remember the good times you shared and their love for you. I miss my Dad's big smile and enthusiasm still after 21 years ! Blessings.

[@LilyGazou]

I got a tree for the first time in years. Lots of people are now gone and there is no one to share the traditions, no one to go to church with me. I have the traditional music on, no tv in the house. It’s peaceful.

[@gentleandquietliving]

So glad you are feeling peace in your home. ♥♥♥

[@hiddenhand6973]

All of my children are young and like you I have 7 of em. Thank you for the heads up. I wouldn’t have thought of this. Maybe I am naive, likely, but my thought is God always has a job for us and there’s a lack of workers. The kids being precious and little will be missed. Maybe God will reward you with grand babies soon 🥰

[@gentleandquietliving]

I would never have thought of this when my kids were younger, either...you feel like that stage will last forever. I absolutely believe that God always has a job for us as well, but it just isn't always obvious. I actually do have 7 precious grandbabies now, with the 8th due today! So I am "on call" for that, and helping with my grandbabies is certainly a big part of my new purpose. ❤❤❤

[@CarlottaART]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s not easy but you’ll work through this. Do some fun things you enjoy. Spend time with friends. Pray 🙏 😊 Find your peace 🙏

[@gentleandquietliving]

Thank you, Carlotta! 🥰

[@CarlottaART]

@@gentleandquietliving You're welcome! Merry Christmas!

[@eileenmccabe671]

Your video really struck a cord with me. I am in the depression stage right now, trying to deal with changes, not only at Christmas, but beyond.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Hugs to you, Eileen! ❤ May God fill you with His peace and love through this season and the months and years ahead.

[@wl2h8fan]

This was so good for me to see. I don’t feel so alone now. I thought something was wrong with me. You articulated exactly how I feel. My older son is stopping by but is married and not really around much. My youngest son is home from college and was a little frustrated I didn’t put up a tree. We had an argument about it and he misunderstood what I was trying to say and felt that I was trying to shame him for not helping with a tree. Maybe this video will help him see my perspective! Thank you for sharing!🥰

[@gentleandquietliving]

Oh, so glad it helped! I thought, "For sure, I can't be the only one!!!" LOL It is hard to explain to your family how you feel without making them feel bad. I actually hope that none of my kids see this video, for that very reason. They are doing nothing wrong...it is just how life moves on and seasons change. ❤

[@blessedmamags7796]

Yes it's weird. At first we were sad but we adapted, and Christmas is whatever it is, it is, and it's fine. ❤

[@gentleandquietliving]

Great attitude to have! 😊

[@stephaniecole4609]

Thanks I'm listening to this on Christmas morning in sunny summery Australia. My only Christmas decoration is a Merry Christmas doormatI I used to out up the tree for the family but they don't visit here anymore-I have to go to them. My brothers decided a number of years ago that the wider family celebration would be elsewhere due to my physical issues and I found that hard. I have found that I have gone through the various stages and remember being at Stage 2 7 years ago when I was furious with my brothers at not including ny elderly mum in celebrations or their children for not visiting her. Eventually I came to peace by realising that it was on their conscience if they chose not to visit. I had missed a lot of contact with grandparents as we lived overseas so I wanted them to enjoy what they could. The thing I get sad is how the family is less cohesive since my mum's death in 2020. It's natural for famies to move on as new generations grow up but everyone seems so busy tbese days . As a single, Christmas is always tricky. I can identity with the garden chopping as I did that a few years ago! Today I am in Stage 5 & you have prompted me to restart the decluttering! I am enjoying celebrations with family as they nearly got delayed by unexpected illness and surgery of family members so thanks be to God. May you be touched by his peace and joy in sunny Florida.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Hello, Sunny Australia! 😊 I think you hit the nail on the head with your statement about the family being "less cohesive." That is what I mourn. Everyone busy going their own separate ways. Oh, how funny that you "garden chopped," too! It is great therapy; I highly recommend it! 😁 May God fill you with his peace, love and joy as well this coming new year!

[@gaiomagaioma118]

still experiencing some of the stages; they pop up now and then, but mostly I have enjoyed the simplicity of the season and have moved into what Christmas might have been like before Dickens romanticized the whole thing

[@gentleandquietliving]

"The simplicity of the season"...love that! ♥ Yes, we've made it into a lot it never was meant to be.

[@bree5529]

Judith Viorst’s book, Necessary Losses is all about this. Life is full of loss, even when we welcome the change. And if we don’t, it’s painful. We must mourn before we can move on. I feel for you. I’m going through empty nest, as my kids get ready to launch.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Thank you, I'll have to check it out! ♥

[@laurawilliams2790]

Not only are my kids gone, but I also lost my husband recently. Now, it seems, I'm losing my friends. I thought I'd be able to travel and do things with them but they're either too depressed, physically unable, not interested... No one wants to do anything anymore. No one seems to take an interest in anything. There's no spark. Everyone has cocooned in their own little bubble. Everything is too much trouble. It's difficult to form new, deep bonds at our age. It seems like the world has turned into a very ugly place. Also, thinking about downsizing is like resolving oneself to the next step prior to death. I can't do that.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Oh Laura, I am so incredibly sorry. 💔You are definitely going through a lot of changes. May you know and experience God's overwhelming love for you and be filled with peace. ❤