Parenting Hack: Ditch the Toys for a Peaceful Home & Grateful Kids

[@gentleandquietliving]

Do you rotate your kids' toys?

[@ashleyslack5960]

We don't rotate them, but I do pack some away and wait and see. I always have a box for donations available so it is easy to part with things when necessary. We are frequently told how peaceful our home is, and it's because we have a container limit on the toys. One large dollhouse, 1 box of magnatiles (contained), 1 box of legos (contained), 1 box of playfood and toy tools (contained), 1 box of toy figures and dolls (contained), one box of train tracks and Thomas trains, and one large wicker basket with lid of dress up clothes and accessories. All open ended toys. ALL but the dollhouse and wicker basket are on a 6 cube storage unit with many childrens books. And one woven basket for stuffed animals. Each container is the limit. If more comes into the house, something needs to go. This does not phase my kids at this point. Nor do they get jealous of other kids toys. I have four kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. If we had a smaller family and didn't homeschool there would probably be fewer toys.

[@gentleandquietliving]

@@ashleyslack5960 I love that all your toys are open-ended. And I especially love that you have a peaceful home! (Oh, and yes, homeschooling brings on a whole other level of stuff! LOL)

[@jeanne_guitton]

My 5-year old does not have a truckload of toys to begin with, but he does have some legos, wooden blocks, wooden animals, toy cars, stuffed animals, puppets, outdoor and bath toys. He uses them all, loves them all, asks for them when they are not there, plays with them calmly, independently and contentedly. He is neither ungrateful nor entitled. I think parents need to put more thought into what their children will really use, what will spark their creativity, and where each toy will be stored. We give lots of thought to what we gift our children, but I try not to intervene too much once things are officially theirs. I think toys are instrumental to learning how to treat personal property, which is why I don't like treating them as something a parent can take away at will. If a well-chosen toy becomes a child's responsibility, they learn not to break it, to treat it with care (because if they destroy they'll no longer have it), to be appreciative of the people who gifted it to them, to use it as and when they see fit (within reason!), and to decide how to combine it with other toys. All this to say that there are many ways to teach your children peaceful play and respectful behaviour and to give them joy. Just watch your child and do what works for you and them, but that may not be the same for each and every family, or for all the years of a given childhood.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Great tips. 😊 Sounds like you choose classic, open-ended toys that spark creativity and imagination and can be played with for hours, which is wonderful. 😊 And yes, I totally agree...each child, each family, and each season are different!

[@katie7748]

Very well said. I'd piggyback off this to add that taking things away without asking, especially if you get rid of things altogether, can create bigger issues. If you simply must insist on downsizing or even rotating, include the child(ren) in the decisions.

[@gentleandquietliving]

@@katie7748Great point!!! 😊

[@tamhas]

There is one thing I know for sure when someone says "get rid of the toys' and that is this: they have never been the parent of a single child, know nothing about it, have never seen it, ignore them

[@ashleyslack5960]

She did not say to get rid of ALL the toys. Just that kids have too many and don't need the avalanche that many of them have. I am a mother of 4 young kids and I agree with this message. A friend of ours with 3 boys allegedly with ADHD.... their house is a nightmare. You cannot see floors in some rooms because of the toys. No joke. I would bet my families life savings if they majorly decluttered their house, especially the toys, most of their problems would go away.

[@kaylashryock2743]

this is so true! thank you for giving me a deadline of Christmas morning haha I know you didn't mean it as a strong deadline probably but this has been my first year as a mom and my first year staying home and not working and I really struggle time management. I've worked in daycares and it was so easy to do things when they needed done but I find it so hard to disciplined at home.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Congrats on your first year as a mom...that's awesome! 😊 A mindset shift that helped me a ton was seeing my job as a homemaker/mother/homeschooler like a "real" job. Set your environment up for success...dress like you are going to a "real" job and keep to a schedule like you would at a "real" job. It makes a HUGE difference in how you feel and perform. Take your high calling seriously, because it is truly valuable! 💓💓💓 You got this! 😎

[@artgirlerina1797]

Mom of two, an almost three year old and a 4 month old, we do have a bit of toys, but they all have homes. Most are stored out of sight or are toys my daughters enjoy or can use for development! We have big climbing toys for them, one for my daughters room (nugget couch) and a climbing set we keep downstairs and bounce house I keep tucked away for rainy days (literally haha!) I’ve gone through toys multiple times and have decluttered things and on birthdays/holidays we normally get (our oldest really since this will be a first of many with our second) things she needs, like we got her a big girl bed to officially move out of the crib (converted to a toddler bed but her baby sister needs it now) and new blanket sets to go with it etc. sometimes for birthdays or holidays I’ll even say we want diapers 🤣🤣🤣 great video!

[@gentleandquietliving]

I love that you said "they all have homes"...that is so key! 😊 Kids thrive on order.

[@pjc7351]

So true. I stored away extra toys when my child was young in the early 1980's. I had to beg grandparents to NOT gift more than one toy. It is important to not overwhelm your child. They will go from one toy to another to another and never learn to "play" as they should. I see it in my grandson. Some parents don't seem to see what toys are age-appropriate. Bottom line, there is a lot to be said about the determent of affluence.

[@ashleyslack5960]

My husband and I told our families a few years ago, 1 gift per child, per family. So grandparents get to give ONE gift per child, aunts can give one gift per child, etc. Our kids have 5-6 gifts under the tree MAX, plus stockings. Our families live far away so no one notices when my husband and I donate extra gifts that we know our kids just don't need. YES we prescreen gifts privately, before they reach our children. Some well-meaning loved ones give things that are inappropriate given our faith, or they just give TOO much.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Yes, overwhelm is epidemic and stifling!

[@gentleandquietliving]

@@ashleyslack5960 Now that I am a grandparent myself, I have to watch that!

[@Somebodys_Mother]

I am going to dig into getting rid of a lot of stuff this year. I currently only have 2 young grands. I have been thinking about getting rid of more toys or just storing them out of sight.

[@gentleandquietliving]

Great! 😃 Storing them out of sight is a great first step, if you're not quite ready to get rid of so much. My issue is that I am just so darn sentimental, and getting rid of stuff permanently is HARD!🤪

[@ashleyslack5960]

My parents keep a few opaque storage tubs for grandkid toys :-D

[@carlapogson7024]

A child should be the one who gets rid of their toys. It’s like someone going in and getting rid of parents items and saying your don’t need all this.

[@ashleyslack5960]

I have two kids who hoard if left to their own devices. The other 2 are too little to do that. It is good if kids can be part of the process, but it is the parents job to guard the child's soul. Sometimes that means saying the clutter and avarice of others cannot be the clutter and avarice of my children. Sometimes that means we learn about generosity and donating excess and thanking God for the blessing of abundance to share with others. American children have too much and are sick because of it. Same with adults.

[@MothGirl007]

Horrifying advice, for real.