When Does The Breakup Hit The Dumper?

[@judyb0216]

After they try to replace you or experience intimacy with someone they think is better...they always return. Ignore their text or block them. Dont be an option. Be the mistake they never forget.

[@gematriawithjen28]

👏👏👏

[@jasminetemple997]

The person that was dumped make it seem like yall aren’t the problem and yall are the problem most the time. Which is why you were dumped

[@NSTSLIM]

Preach😂​@@jasminetemple997

[@marguskiis7711]

Women never return.

[@user-es6px6rd9d]

How long does it take before they realize that other person is not better?

[@codymacnamara7197]

My girlfriend left me recently. I know its such a cliche feeling like she was the one. But I genuinely feel that way with her. I want her back so badly. I'm a bit quirky and display emotions very weirdly due to my autism. And she made me feel safe and loved unlike anyone. She realized that I show love differently and loved me for it. I love her and dont want to lose her.

[@bobdonald4780]

I'm feel/felt the same way about my girlfriend who left me just recently. But you and I have got to look at it in this way. If she really made you feel safe, then it was a lie of safety. If you were actually safe, then she wouldn't have left and done that to you

[@Manchestertreblewinners]

@@bobdonald4780my ex dumped me when I was had a flight to go see her she said we are on different paths in life and she cut all contact I went crazy swore sent photos of me crying and bombarded her asking her why she would hurt me 3 weeks before flying to see her she left no and now I’m hurting really badly she blocked me said she wants nothing to do with me and spoke to one of my friends who said she wants nothing to do with me and I need to move on

[@Ryukomytoy]

How you feeling now buddy

[@nicj5354]

I don't want my ex back, I'm just curious what he'll go through

[@arshieshaikh2639]

Lol

[@cieltheeditor7922]

Same, I’d rather swallow 89 razor blades light myself on fire and jump off a CLIFF than date that aggressively abusive boy again LMFAOOO😭😭😭

[@dcleal658]

Same XD

[@venusnakilan7943]

I do the same xoxo

[@princessdike610]

Same here 😂😂

[@lesliesantiago6058]

When you stop caring!! That's when it hits .💯💯💋

[@shakilasariye4608]

Exactly , that's why most dumpers comeback

[@evanking5890]

Facts

[@tonileolion9702]

This shit is facts lol 😂 my ex was like we need to try again

[@splitzyentertainment7995]

@@tonileolion9702 lol did you take them back?

[@tonileolion9702]

@@splitzyentertainment7995 we trying again yes but I’m so different now , kinda want him but kinda don’t The thing that helps us is we have been really good friends for 20 years so it’s almost like we never left

[@jbill7808]

My ex-wife tried to come back 2yrs later. I was well over tht heartbreak. I couldn't afford to tke a chance again

[@lizrusso9274]

I am an avoidant dumper and it takes me six months to start truly grieving and it is absolute hell. I am so sad that I didn’t know about this sooner. I have done these things my whole life. I don’t mean to hurt people and I have a significant amount of trauma. Explains what’s wrong with me. I feel terrible but I’m thankful to finally have learned about this. And your description is spot on.

[@ascendingwithrachellovell3239]

👏👏👏

[@ROMI909]

It takes a lot of courage to have deeper look at yourself and accept. You should be proud of yourself. Take care.

[@HellHammerSC2]

Is there one of your ex you absolutely regret dumping now that you know it ?

[@sarahsummers4093]

Thank you for sharing. You bring me a lot of comfort and I’m sorry you are still in pain.

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together.......

[@AnAussieinNorway]

Brilliant video. Avoidant dumper here hurting bad 5 months later 😢 she moved on

[@suvamkc6906]

were you dumper

[@neressakotas4396]

just let them go and don't worry about how they are feeling. If they have left you for someone else

[@fuzzypanda1684]

If they left you FOR someone else, that won't be a problem, because they'll never reach out to you again. The moment she met him, she lost all attraction and interest for you. Couple that with the fact that she doesn't have to go through the pain of losing you because she's too busy getting plowed by him, and regardless of whether it works out or not, she'll probably never think about you again.

[@dannycolwell8028]

I don’t k ow if I can believe that an avoidant can miss their bond with you. They’re constantly building a bond with someone new

[@petitcoeur-q6r]

This exactly - they dump you and build a bond with someone else. They don’t miss you and only come back when they have no other prospects at the time and dump you again when the grass is greener again.

[@fuzzypanda1684]

Especially if she left you FOR him.

[@michaella5799]

Temporary emotionless hooker that nobody really wanted.

[@neogbfe3587]

This a great breakdown, I like watching these type of videos, they give me insight into human behavior. I have gained so many perspectives, thus allowing me to help others steer clear from my mistakes. My thought process is not to get my ex-back. Its to understand why we do the things we do, in return hurting others. I’ve noticed recently in the past several years that breakups and divorce are more prevalent. I believe this is because we tend to rely on games, no contact, breaks and space. All of which is good, however we can’t forget the most important part of a relationship, communication, transparency and vulnerability. Without those key components, individuals are just loving on borrowed time.

[@NaeK188]

It's such a delicate balance though. I know if I reached out to my ex right now; communicating my feelings and being vulnerable - a vulnerability revealed by my love for him and wanting to make us work - it wouldn't make much of an impact. He dumped me; and although it does seem like a "game", dumpers need the space to experience the true weight of their decisions. Me making contact at all doesn't let him feel that loss - he knows I'm there. That I'm an option. We truly don't realise what we have until it's gone. Ugh, I wish behaviour and love was simpler 😔 haha.

[@anjalir4967]

So true

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@gbatardekela644]

Whatsazzz him☝️☝️

[@andziagreen4922]

Wise words

[@ameliepoulain4654]

I wish I had seen this before, this is exactly what happened with my ex husband and me, I accepted him back after he left me with his avoidant attitude, he came back alone, I didn´t ask him to do so... Now he left again saying he was wrong to think we had hope, and I didn´t even do anything wrong, we didn´t even try to make it work. He came back just to say he was leaving again. I´m crushed, searching for videos to try and understand his behaviour. Now I understand it much better. I also realize he´s not worth my tears or my heart, but I will let all my emotions come out until I´m dried out and I can start picking up myself again. Thanks for sharing this

[@adventureseekertv.anthonys3275]

❤

[@ladymay7789]

This usually happens when they realize that the person they rejected you for isn't perfect. They see their TRUE colors, and 99.9% of the time they don't like the colors they're seeing. Once they realize that the grass isn't greener on the "new" side of the fence (distance, hair-trigger temper, physical confrontation with the new one's ex-, etc), is usually when they start to experience "dumpers remorse" and reality has not only put both feet in the door, it has entered the relationship room and it can't be avoided no matter what they may say, think, do or try to prove to anyone and everyone around them.

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@_Lazare]

Well said

[@andziagreen4922]

Well said but some % of dumpers while in relationship with you already planning someone else and days or weeks after they left you they contact person they were making you feel insecure about by their actions towards the 'greener grass' just to not feel withdrawal and remorse and to get instant validation so if they are still with the greener grass after 6 months they wont go through those stages same way

[@user-es6px6rd9d]

Fingers crossed this is true. He jumped ship to such a fucking downgrade(probably manipulated into it knowing that other person) and I want him to realize how shitty that guy is

[@sarak6083]

People come back to settle not because they want to..once they leave just let them go they will leave you again once you are even married

[@EmilyGloeggler7984]

I’m glad I reached the acceptance stage, and have moved on from the ex- beau and now focus on my husband. It is worth it. Thank God.

[@FlordosAçores]

When the Rebound Breaks them to Pieces!

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@gbatardekela644]

Whatsazzz him☝️☝️

[@oliviagilk1049]

@@gbatardekela644 I need help !

[@angelenergia2163]

What does this mean? When the rebound breaks them?

[@Sisterg0ldenhair__]

@@angelenergia2163 When the person they left you for or started a relationship with shortly after treats them terribly and the relationship fails.

[@sarcasticrobot303]

The avoidant and anxious! Damn facts

[@francispellerin5093]

My ex gf came back after weeks of NC and tried to friendzone me. i guess that's her way of moving on because she's "friends" with most of her exes. (they don't talk anymore) i saw a pattern and i rejected the offer and i'm back on NC to heal. Fingers crossed NC does hit her eventually. She has a strong ego and independance.

[@qcryptoq9994]

2.5 years later and I just realized. I’m heartbroken

[@Siegeclan34]

It was a year later for me.

[@joanne4820]

Shit try to get them back

[@lmfisher650]

Are you the dumper?

[@carthy29]

I wonder does it ever, i had a gf of 4 years , she broke up with me, i went nc, maybe 6 months later i found out she had cheated and then dated that guy fully, i was in a club a month later and by chance met her and her guy , she looked amazing, happy, really nice vibe etc , i kept to myself and let them alone, but i saw she was happy and that was that, i never heard from her again, it didnt look like to me she was going to grieve me at all, which today is fine, years back my ego wudnt be happy lol

[@vtrippster]

I got dumped a little over a week ago out of the blue. Never even went through the phase of noticing something was off. Nor the part where I'm trying to fix the relationship... Why? Because unfortunately, I never noticed a problem. I never treated her wrong and always did my best to treat her with the utmost respect. I guess one could say that I'm in the grieving stage. The day before the breakup, a Saturday, was also the day our parents met for the first time (over brunch). We'd been together for 7 months or so and our parents just so happened to be in town at the same time (were both living away from home for college.) Brunch went well, the day went well, and we all went to dinner with friends and had a good meal and spent quality time together. It was a great day, I took her home around 11pm or so that night, all was well, told her goodnight and gave her a kiss like always and told her I'd see her tomorrow. Fast-forward 12hrs, its 11:30am, she shows up on my doorstep and slaps me with a "I think we should break-up." I was crushed, so flabbergasted. I was like "woah woah slow down, let's go for a walk," I had no idea what had just happened, I was just now experiencing my first ever real break-up. We took that walk, and she basically hit me with an ultimatum. Being that if I didn't lose focus of everything in my life and focus solely on God, that we couldn't continue to be together. She said that I wasn't putting God first. So, let's take a step back, I'm a believer in Christ. I talk to God every day and thank him for where im at as well as ask for direction. I'm a 22-year-old senior in college and wouldn't be where I'm at right now in life without him. However, there may be what some people consider a slight catch. See, I don't feel the need to go to church. I have my own relationship with God, and I love talking about him and sharing his word. I just don't feel the need to go to church. I've met many people outside of church that have a stronger connection than some that are in church. And see, she wants me to go to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, go to these crusades, the coffee shop bible study on Tuesdays... just 24/7 God. See, God gave me a vision, a vision where I can provide many many families with affordable housing. Put a roof over many heads with manufactured housing in real estate, and she can't see that. I've tried explaining that to her before, not knowing my relationship was on the line at the time, but I have. But like I said, she slapped me with an ultimatum, and I had to tell her that I was happy with where I was in life and with what I was doing, that I wasn't willing to throw it all away for a relationship. I don't know if this is a textbook break-up. If I'm a terrible person for continuing to pursue my goals. I just don't know. I'm sorry for typing all of this. It probably doesn't even make sense. I just needed to get it out to someone.

[@springf.9874]

I feel that. And from my point of view, it doesn't seem to be a hurdle you both could overcome. Maybe if she reaches out and says she realizes she's wrong and changes her mind, you could be together again. But these are more like external factors and there's nothing you can do right now other than move on and don't think about her. Similarly, I just broke up because my ex told me he couldn't see a future with dating me, that he's simply too busy and is afraid of hindering me and dragging it out. He's really just too afraid of the future and loves me too much and doesn't want to drag me down with him, even though I told him that I'll follow him wherever he goes.... There were no signs of a problem, the night before we talked about our future and we both reached the conclusion that there was a lot of uncertainty for the future. But to try and work this out this summer at least and try out a long-distance relationship before we reach a conclusion. Then he dumped me at the airport before I leave for another state for an internship. I don't know what to do, I also just don't know. Live day by day. And I wish you the best, go no contact, and please if you can let me know what happens next.

[@malikm.kraishan5362]

they always bring god when they don't have a true cause for the breakup ! stay strong brother! i was there!

[@vtrippster]

@@springf.9874 Sorry to hear that. It’s been a busy summer for me and I think I can honestly say that I’m completely over her. Days now go by that she doesn’t cross my mind. I think about her every now and then. I’m actually glad that she did what she did. God had my back. God has your back too. Praying for you 🫶

[@vtrippster]

@@malikm.kraishan5362 That’s kinda my thought on the whole thing. It is what it is. 😉

[@thechosenone2758]

Don't be sorry, stay strong. Although it doesn't seem like it, it actually gets better. I can't tell you it's an easy road ahead, but I can definitely tell you that you would come out on top. You would be totally proud of yourself when you finally move on.

[@88888888mummypig]

They want to go ?? Open the door for them !! If that's what they want give it to them !!

[@integrito3323]

Too many games people play! And then are able to rationalise in the manner you have specified! ''A new way to sell''! Would love to love and be loved by a genuine person! However, not interested in the games! Prefer to be by myself, if this is how it is to be! Thanks for your advise anyway!

[@thedeekabides]

She didn’t lose me, she got rid of me and now she’s calling me and I want nothing to do with that mess. It’s been years since we last spoke and I’ve moved on.

[@jimihendriixx]

How long did it take her to reach out ?

[@thedeekabides]

@@jimihendriixx Under two years.

[@troy11691]

This happened with my ex and actually got her back in the acceptance stage married her now 10 years later going through it again im an axious pretty sure she an avoidance...first breakup it was about 3 months before she started coming back but I was already dating somone kinda so said no then she came back again and eventually I took her back after she stopped trying lol

[@jsad191]

So it never stops with an avoidant? It's always push pull?? I think I was with an avoidant. Or a narcissits not sure yet

[@jaydrollins6875]

@@jsad191 It all depends if they will decide to heal their attachment style. Same goes for anxious preoccupieds. Both are equally bad. Both need to decide to fix it themselves.

[@Bigred338]

When you stop caring and forget even their name Then its working

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@gbatardekela644]

Whatsazzz him☝️☝️

[@Bigred338]

@@gbatardekela644 no thanks I am already a wizard

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@omiunusamson9978]

Contact him 👆.

[@sarahyoshida1542]

My ex is on guilt phase and he admitted that he is having a hard time.

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@esmeraldaintent]

girlies, is it worth it, tho? when the avoidant person is actually "ready" to come back its bc they don't want to process anything; they just want to be in the "fantasy world". and if you take him back after all your suffering and inner work, what does that say about the relationship you are about to (re)build? idk, just a discussion. i agree with the video and everything, i think Chris knows his stuff. just saying, i feel like if we watched this entire video, what we really need to do is to focus on our self worth

[@JustinBradley-o4o]

5 year relationship. Ended 2 months ago. I had some anger issues and made her feel unsafe. I also neglected her sometimes and left her on her own. Other then these things, i treated her very well. Supportive, kind, generous, made her happy, loving, caring and all the other things. I always knew she was the one since the first day. Just by the way she always made me feel and just the way i always felt in her presence. She left me. Nothing feels real and I'm so heartbroken. 3 weeks of no contact and i can just feel her slipping away more. Im gutted. Im just commenting this to let everyone know that theyre not alone. I hope youre okay and please eat, sleep and keeping working/going to the gym. Do stuff for you. Trust me i know it feels impossible to do anything because all you want to do is sit and cry. I do too. Ill be 30 in 3 weeks. We lived together in a cabin that we bought together. We lived in it for 3 years and this wouldve been our 3rd christmas here. 💔 im so hurt and sad. I just hope you guys are okay. Pray to God and find comfort in him. Take care of yourselves ❤

[@gwendolynn7314]

I recently learned this. I wish I learned it years ago. I would've fixed myself sooner...

[@memoryandlove]

We never had the dyadic phase, he kept any feelings or anything he felt were problems to himself and let them grow and then when he had enough he broke up with me while crying and just started blurting random things out. Apparently as well after the break up, when we came back to talk because 90% of what he said I was just like wtf about, he told me some of the things that made him feel exasperated/unhappy and I take my share of the blame, maybe I wasn't listening hard enough or reading between the lines or looking at myself enough and thinking yeah actually that's a bad habit - but finding out he didn't communicate these things with me and basically was giving me little tests and when I responded in the way he didn't like he'd use that as confirmation of his feeling instead of talking to me. Like offering to pay for half a car with me, he wanted me to say no, I'm paying for everything for the car but I took up the offer because I knew he'd be driving it as well and I thought he was being kind and helpful. Do not offer things if you don't mean it.

[@NinjaOutfitInTheWash]

Yeah thats really fucked up and immature and hes a horrible communicator. Sorry you had to go through that.

[@riverriverchang5487]

ive always been a dumper, but i feel like being dumped. the grief always hits me immediately. i never had a nice feeling for dumping people. i cried when i decided to dump them. and i immediately force myself to process every subtle feeling after the breakup, analyze what the true causes were, and see it for what it is.

[@sirg-had8821]

Go get yourself a cookie.

[@markmark2122]

Did you ever try and fight for love, not run all the time, cause there ain't no perfect person in world if you're waiting for that sh...is an illusion

[@wrestlingthewolves]

In the beginning i was the avoidant and they were the anxious. After 8 years it some how got reversed. And i discovered these videos after i made so many mistakes. Ive even done no contact in the past without knowing it was a thing, to success as well. This time. I have a lot of ground to cover 😅

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@cieltheeditor7922]

That’s so fascinating mine started out the same too. Only lasted 1.5 years however

[@Beettt-nq3dp]

Here my story she broke up with me around 1 month ago i begged plead give her favourite colour hoodie done everything but after breaking up she get in relation with new guy after 4 hours i was shocked attempt to cut my veins hospitalised cried drink alot but accepted the fact and today kinda miss her but happy goes out with mah frnds.mah dear frnds i know its tough during first 2-3 weeks but time heals love ur parents these girls can give u one hole for that hole u shouldnt waste ur life whole❤️❤️good luck

[@stanceynkgowe2709]

It's been almost 2 months since I was dumped. I begged and did everything you could think of. It's funny how I still love him

[@Yaniis]

@@stanceynkgowe2709 it’s been almost a month since she broke up with me , never begged her or anything , am proud of myself that i didn’t contact her and i changed my number and everything 🙂 , i’ve been in a 7 years long term relationship btw 😊 , the world has a better person for you , just work on yourself be a better person and love will come and you’ll find your soulmate

[@stanceynkgowe2709]

@@Yaniis I am in a better place now. Looking back I laugh at myself wasting my tears and everything. I am over that scumbag. I am in a happy place. I have grown to love myself more. I know I deserve the best. A man who will love me without any exception will find me. At the moment I am just loving myself

[@Yaniis]

@@stanceynkgowe2709 am happy for you girl , keep working on yourself and remember what’s meants to be yours will always be yours no matter what , you never was his 😊

[@VALLANCEGAMING]

I just messaged saying I'm moving on, gotta accept the reality and not hang around

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@asmrsleep3079]

Hi there, any update? I did the same thing. I heard mentioning moving on can scare them if they truly still have feelings

[@VALLANCEGAMING]

@@asmrsleep3079 she got back in touch and I declined invites to go over for you know what, a few weeks ago. She recently complained I don't talk as much as i used to, it's been a few weeks and I got back in touch yesterday asking if the offer of drinks still stands and I'm going round Saturday eve. I really shouldn't because she did cheat on me, but f it, I'll only be at home playing computer

[@suvamkc6906]

@@VALLANCEGAMING any update brother

[@VALLANCEGAMING]

@suvamkc6906 We are on good terms but we don't talk much or hang out etc, just a somebody I used to know now. I haven't dated since because I can't be bothered with the current dating pool.

[@katyaballands8260]

He said he still loves me and that there’s a possibility for us in the future once he graduates university. Idk if he said that to spare my feelings or if he genuinely meant it. He also said he didn’t want to completely cut me out of his life but we haven’t spoken in almost two weeks. I’m planning on waiting till thanksgiving to reach out after nearly two months of NC. I’m not sure what to do tho I love him so much and I’ve realized my faults in it, if I was dating myself if probably dump myself too.

[@countcrow]

@Carlos Semit rwported

[@NaeK188]

Girl, it's okay to feel a little guilt and shame. Breakups are 50/50. But forgive yourself and use this time to become a better person, for yourself and him, but do it for yourself foremost. I'm going through a similar thing, and it's so painful, but know there's nothing wrong with you and it wasn't your fault. Just take the time to heal and live life again. Nothing attracts back a person like proving you can live without them and be a confident, beautiful person who exudes love for yourself and life. My heart goes out to you! Stay strong 💜

[@elle9489]

wow, you and i are in the exact same situation right now. i hope you heal soon❤️

[@dfitria2262]

Kind some situation. He dump me, and don't want to fix the relationship. But he texting me and calling me all the time. I'm confused as hell. Today is day 1, I ignored all of him

[@Yaniis]

@@dfitria2262 update ?

[@MissSandi23]

Makes sense my ex is going through this now

[@countcrow]

@Carlos Semit reported

[@travel6482]

My ex tried giving me a gift that I never got from our 1 year anniversary which was 3 weeks ago or so. Implied the no contact rule soon as it happened. We broke up 2 weeks ago and went yesterday to give and get back some stuff and got invited in to catch up which I was hesitant on. On my way out she mentioned that she had the anniversary for me to which I politely declined. Saying that it didn't feel right getting a gift from someone I was no longer romantically seeing. She took it a little hard but was understanding. She mentioned that during her having me inside, it has been hard to not have that daily contact with me (she ended things) and that there were some instincts that she had to hold back on while talking inside: being touchy, intimate, etc.. I re confirmed my stance that I have no interest in a friendship or casual conversation on a daily basis unless we're seeing each other romantically. Thoughts on this situation? Anything I should've done differently?

[@yo_ops-_-7165]

You did it perfectly, keep us updated and good luck with whatever you want out of it.

[@alexanderalzate8560]

i wish im as strong as you 😢😢

[@PsychotherapywithNichola]

Please do anxious dumpers too - all your content seems to be focused on avoidants. But what about when an avoidant (me) gets dumped by an anxious (him)?

[@MaraxYTube]

I hope it hits them really hard. But ex is ex for reason. I just hope you experience what i did just double the amount.

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@Foxie635]

I am the anxious person, I dumped the avoidant three times. He kept coming back after weeks of being away each time. Then the third time, he dumped me. I got anxious and called and texted him. It’s been almost two weeks, he has. It contacted me again. 😢 But I am about to be over him.

[@BeatriceCapello]

He was a sag architect who needed help financially for 5 years and gave him all my savings. Loved him dearly, planned marriage and then when he needed $$$ again for visa, could not help him. Told me I was disrespecting him and broke it off out of the blue one day. So hurt, but this Leo Empress is now paying his loans though we are not together, while he is in a prison as he cannot leave country without visa. Believed he was my soulmate and thank you Jesus ❤for the strength you are giving me to move on though my heart ♥️ is so broken.

[@petitcoeur-q6r]

They discarded and dumped me the second time. I’m moving on or trying to. I’m in therapy to heal myself. They already feel elated and moved on. If I see in hindsight they were changing themselves physically by losing a lot of excess weight and when they felt ready to launch themselves to new prospects they did the discard. Never take them back. They destroy all the work you have on yourself that you’ve done.

[@user-sr4kr9db6w]

will this work if i ws toxic to him(it ws unintentionally and mostly cause i grew up in toxic household)

[@marz8264]

Better question, what if you were already? Basically living separate lives but living in the home never really saw each other. Never hung out. Never went out. Never did anything together. You were just at one end and they were at another. When is that considered me considered as if you guys broke up a long time ago?

[@Manchestertreblewinners]

⁠my ex dumped me when I was had a flight to go see her she said we are on different paths in life and she cut all contact I went crazy swore sent photos of me crying and bombarded her asking her why she would hurt me 3 weeks before flying to see her she left no and now I’m hurting really badly she blocked me said she wants nothing to do with me and spoke to one of my friends who said she wants nothing to do with me and I need to move on

[@fuzzypanda1684]

Totally depends on the circumstances. If she left you to "explore her options" or something, then yeah, she might come back after realizing the grass isn't greener. But if she left you FOR someone else, then she'll never come back. The moment she got butterflies for him, she lost all the attraction and interest that she had for you. And she won't even have to feel the pain of losing you because she'll be too busy getting railed by him. Even if they break up, she won't have any desire to go back to you because every ounce of attraction for you is gone.

[@グラハムジェームズ]

Dumpers will have someone lined up who may just be better for them. Both sides may agree the relationship had no further purpose. Still there is pain? Why is that?

[@dangerklose8406]

We are all rebounds from avoidants. Hope everyone knows that. Unless you are their very 1st relationship.

[@alistening78]

I am the anxious who got dumped, and this video make me see the pov of my avoidant ex.

[@trev100]

9mo LDR. Great relationship. Very little conflict, lots of love. If she's choosing her family (given an ultimatum), who doesn't want us to be together, over us. What are the chances?

[@chrisseitercoaching]

I would say if the family get to dictate who she dates then its pretty slim. Sorry.

[@trev100]

@@chrisseitercoaching Just wanted to inform that no contact works :P People, don't freak out. You can do A LOT wrong, and still go no contact and it can work. No contact will also make you better at relationships. Letting go gives others the space to realize they love you or want you in their lives. You don't want forced love anyway.

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@gosh9084]

@OMNIPOTENT TV how did you handle it?

[@beamtweez1210]

Same happened to me 😢

[@dgutierrez104]

Over 8 weeks into my breakup. I don’t think she is reaching out

[@brianrhodes8369]

I tried this program.. I am 6 months post BU.. got absolutely no where

[@countcrow]

@ Brian .. I'm so sorry. Lots of people say it takes longer depending on the circumstances of course. After that length of time I would be tempted to test the waters in a very casual way ... something to consider

[@brianrhodes8369]

@@countcrow Oh I did.. very simply asked of she could help me with something.. she responded sarcastically... and I joked back trying to keep it light.. she basically put her foot down and said no she doesnt want too.. then I casually asked if she would be willing to open the door to communicating again and she said no. So end of that.. and we were talking a little before I tried this program.. then did 45 days NC and it went all down hill from there.. it was never great after the break up but it never recovered after the NC.

[@stanceynkgowe2709]

@mr fantastic trying to accept that my ex might not be coming back anytime soon. It's been 2 months NC. It hurts but at some point I have to move on

[@gbatardekela644]

@@brianrhodes8369 Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@jorgeriera3337]

@@brianrhodes8369 I know its been six months since this comment any updates. Also if she acting so cold and rude that should show you the type of person she is move on make yourself a better person a new version make her see what she lost without over doing it. Someone will come along and see the wonderful person you are. Good luck

[@goldenrosecomet]

I am an avoidant dumper and I caught up with my emotions roughly 5-6 months in. Unfortunately, by that time it was too late. He had decided to get married.

[@Spacemonkeymojo]

How long were you together? 5-6 months to get married to a new person is so quick....

[@goldenrosecomet]

@@Spacemonkeymojo On and off a little less than 3 years

[@TFGcine]

When someone dumps you don't sit around waiting for them to have guilt and call you. MOVE ON. Work on yourself and go about your life. Some dumpers can be selfish and too prideful to admit their faults.Or they rather be miserable then face your possible rejection to take them back. And you have some exes who were really not happy and moved on. Everyone situation is different. This is the best video I've seen about the dumper. Most of the videos give false hope the dumper will call the dumpee and all will be ok. Move on. Fuck them.

[@LeahlovesJohnny]

Brilliant video

[@btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892]

Problem is, we never had problems before we broke up

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@MagdalenaDrMags]

That’s how it usually is with avoidants. Everything seems to be going in the right direction and that is when they realise that THIS is something REAL and therefore it’s time to ruin it to prevent the commitment which they associate with limitations, trauma and all the worst things.

[@MartonDev]

@@MagdalenaDrMags same here and your explanation makes so much sense

[@rhonnieminnie]

@@MagdalenaDrMags same. Wonderful relationship until he sabotaged it for literally no reason at all. Hope he's happier now.

[@rhonnieminnie]

@@MagdalenaDrMags its going to take a while. Its been 6 months and im still bewildered how someone can hate you soo much for something sooo little. What helped me was missing the RELATIONSHIP and not the person. I also had to be diligent in not internalizing it. I am a secure attacher, but its 100% anxiety inducing when someone gaslights and blame you when you keep getting reassured you did nothing wrong. I would recommend processing your emotions now bc you don't want to blame yourself later. Sending positive vibes and good luck 👍🏾

[@johnespanol1273]

Good information 😊

[@harrisonayodi1529]

You nailed it chris.

[@chanelleslivelifelaugh5727]

You know how f up it feels to start all over again with someone new , not knowing if I will f things up again, or despite me doing everything I could for him he still leave because of one mistake I make , I’m only human I’m not god you know

[@houghtonmatt]

I’m on day 15 of NC. Tonight she is going out to a huge club and I’m so nervous 😅

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@gbatardekela644]

Whatsazzz him☝️☝️

[@jorgeriera3337]

Why be done you go out as well

[@houghtonmatt]

@@jorgeriera3337 Day 18 she blocked me on everything but phone/text and told me to move on and there’s no chance of us in the future. Very cold response. I’m going to disappear and work on myself now it’s like day 20

[@waxmago7123]

@@houghtonmatt how is it now?

[@dgutierrez104]

So how long does it take for the breakup to hit the female dumper???

[@sparklingstar000]

Random rant - I had a very bad breakup with my first bf/ first love of four years and one month, he broke up with me because of things and emotions i went through for one month that made him exhausted and feel like he wasnt enough. hes the avoidant while im the anxious one - its been 2 months since we broke up, im still grieving hard but im taking steps to slowly forgive myself, move on, focus on myself, heal my inner traumas and focus on my studies. Idk if he will come back or not this summer, as he made it very clear he didnt want me (blocked me everywhere too), a part of me wishes he reaches out to me but im starting to get tired of hurting myself now. he moved on quickly while i tried to get us back. idk how heartbreaks are meant to work like but i hope one day, he understands how i felt for the things i did. Im sorry WP and im also sorry to myself for losing myself. Reply

[@mercejean8521]

What's the update on this?

[@sparklingstar000]

@@mercejean8521 he came back

[@sirg-had8821]

It never "hits" them. The dumper never cares and they move on quicker than the dumpee.

[@yo_ops-_-7165]

Sorry you never got your second chance

[@unknownpage9239]

Usually depends on the society that lives , they can speed it up or prevent it but for a psycopath with hard Ego starts on the 7 month after you start to gain gradually power from the Agony so they can see how you are still alive without them. And thats called : Lived a relationship with a narcissist

[@booitslovelace1674]

I really hope he wants me back and he won’t be looking for any rebound 😥

[@jorgeriera3337]

Please don't do that don't have hope it's useless and not helping and healthy. Work on yourself be the best you can be and move forward.

[@booitslovelace1674]

@@jorgeriera3337 I am so scared I am actually suicidal and when he found out it pushes him away more I just don’t know what to do now. His friends called me a ‘psycho’ they even get him to delete photos of us I actually don’t know what to do now. We are in a long distance relationship and it has been two months. I am suffering so badly and I don’t know why it really hurts

[@jorgeriera3337]

@@booitslovelace1674 I know it hurts trust me I have been there but first you have to stop the mentality of suicide no person is worth your time. And I did the same thing I deleted all pictures I threw all gifts and cards in the garbage cause that's where they belong garbage. If I person can discard you without a thought then they don't deserve your love. They deserve your silence and you have to find the strength inside of you to let go and get pasr it. Stop Stop Stop saying you are suicidal you are stronger and better then that I belive in you and your will power.

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back togethe...

[@omiunusamson9978]

Contact him 👆.

[@SamytheBullFitness]

this guy is brilliant!

[@ArtWitchy]

What if your an anxious personality as the dumper?

[@Rorse-rona]

He msg me after 1 week not talking, but he deleted it .what should I do ? Am in no contact now

[@hajarinspain]

Thank you so much coach I needed this video so bad ❤

[@Ella89zxx]

Can it take over 18months to hit the dumper if I didn’t commit to no contact until 15months after the breakup🤦🏻‍♀️ Its been 18 months now. 55 days of radio silence from me. He has reached out to me casually a few times and when I don’t reply he acts like he is unbothered and goes away (until he messages me casually again a week or month or however long later) Is he just casually curious or does he miss me? Will he ever regret the breakup and put more effort in to get me back in his life???

[@jorgeriera3337]

All of this dumpers stages is not true. My ex after a 3 year relationship and me being there for her and being a father figure to her kids and helping her with her home. Breadcrumb me for a month and half giving false hope and using me like ATM. Also I want to be honest I made mistakes in the relationship so there. After 3 weeks of her cutting all communication with me she got into a relationship so no they don't feel anything anymore for the dumpee or go thru the stages they just move on.

[@Marina1686]

She’s a leech, not the woman looking for love or company but $$$.

[@MathMadeSimple777]

She never cared.

[@mitchu1433]

She might come back if her next relationship fails. It'll be up to you if you want someone who can come and go as they please.

[@richardrichard2693]

@jorge riera you should not have taken the breadcrumbs.

[@Babyduzzit]

They might FEEL but maybe they never tell you and just have to move on .

[@turdledive927]

Shit, I would have been avoidant but shit my life hit some serioulsy weird shit and I freaked out due to the other emotions. My dad had cancer and I moved away to a complete different state and she was in a different state too. Shit I was alone in the desert, so yeah I fucked up and reached out to her.

[@mariamongal9207]

W ha t sA pp 📩🇱🇷

[@mastermindmuppet]

What’s the update? I kinda went through the same thing. His grandma was dying and basically broke up with me. It’s been two months, but I started NC a little over a week ago after we got into an argument via text. He blamed me for the breakup.

[@gbatardekela644]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@gbatardekela644]

Whatsazzz him☝️☝️

[@erincappoli4358]

He keeps having a friend check on me

[@neressakotas4396]

well I can say this if someone walk away from me for whatever the reason I will not have them back.

[@MRraywilliamjonhson1]

Step one happened to me.and when she starts calling me by my name instead by babe can tell shes angry

[@nickvanderpeet4712]

Is that the same when a friend dumped me?

[@viviancassel6025]

Good one!

[@MartonDev]

This helped a ton. Thanks

[@يوجامعسارهبدير]

Amazing video 👌

[@Kristalwalker1972]

3 different ways. 1. When he broke up and I didn’t cry or beg him to stay or breakup. I told him I’d leave last weekend. 2. When he got arrested for putting his hands on me. 3. When he came home from jail and saw that EVERYTHING that I bought for him or for the apt was gone. Yep…. I left him almost empty. Plus there’s a no contact order issued by the judge. So I’m sure he didn’t expect ANY of this. Oh well. I’ll never have anything to do with him. I gave him chance after chance and he made his decision and I made mine.

[@cieltheeditor7922]

This makes me wish I had called the police on my ex for touching me…that’s admirable to me you were strong enough to do so. At least now I know to leave as soon as someone physically hurts me. Wish you the best and so much better

[@jamesjones7798]

So happy for him leaving any man has to put his hands on a women she provoked it. Good luck to him

[@cianye855]

This sort of sums up the on and off relationship I had with this girl for about 2.and a half years. She'd break up with me constantly and the process would be like that. However, we went long distance recently due to me moving to a different city for uni but she broke up with me again. So I don't know if that will be the same with long distance

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together

[@omiunusamson9978]

Contact him 👆.

[@thepuffinburrow]

Im really not sure if id go back with my ex IF she does come back. It would depend on what really made her leave, and in the cold abrupt way she did, what shes been up to in the interim, and if shell go to therapy. Im gonna have alot of uncomfortable questions for her. Id say im at 80 percent no, 10 percent maybe, 10 percent yes

[@99flavours52]

He went to military training for 5 years last month and before leaving, his parents asked him to break up with me .. as they called me a distraction. Since then he never contacted me.. is there any possibility of him contacting me ever?

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@xoxo3196]

Did he contact you? Any update?

[@Twisted86]

Just curious I broke up with a woman I love about a month ago, I was the dumper but a lot of factors played into it, I knew it wasn't going to workout and so I tried to end things well. I felt a massive relief and my depression went away, within 3 weeks I've lost 16 pounds (stress eating and she liked to eat out a lot) and I'm sleeping better then I have in 6 months (watch proves it). The thing that I wonder is that I have very little emotions about it all, I might think about her from time to time and remember the good memories but I don't desire her back. She reached out a few times and I was kind and respectful but my final message to her was a goodbye, and that I was blocking her number and that I pray she will find peace and happiness. I guess what bothers me is I feel like I should miss her, that I should care that she is upset, or something at least. After 4 weeks I feel happier then I have been in a long time, is this because I tried to do everything possible to fix/repair the relationship before deciding to get out of it?

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@ygswrd]

What about now bro? I just got out too and its my fourth week.

[@Twisted86]

@@ygswrd Honestly brother I feel fantastic, I've dropped about another 22 pounds since I made that post. I sleep 25% better based off my Galaxy watch, my cortisol levels (stress hormone, it's what caused weight gain, plus she always wanted to go out to eat, I like to cook at home) are normal now. I think about her from time to time but I never miss her, I have no desire to reach out to her, and honestly I'm generally happier then I have been the 6 months before I broke up with her. I also have a few gals sniffing around the tree, which is nice but I told them I want a break from women.

[@ygswrd]

@@Twisted86 wow amazing. I wonder what was your factors if i may knew in your "a lot of factors played into it" from your first comment. I was the dumper too and i feel relieved in the first few weeks, but i dont know it feels different now.

[@Twisted86]

@@ygswrd Well it depends why you did it, in my case I exhausted other options and she thought she was above having to work on the relationship or herself. She was always quick to point out my flaws and issues and seemed to love to talk me down, in her mind though she was the exact opposite and played victim till the end. It just got to a point where her baggage and problems didn't trump my happiness. I'm happy being single as well, while I miss things I did with her, I don't actually miss her at all.

[@chooserenders]

Im the dumper but i dump him because it should end before things get fester. He cheated on me 4 times, he’s angry most of the times and treat me like a pnching bag.

[@Foxie635]

3/20/24 I got dumped. 😢 ok, I dumped him 3 times prior but still!! Sucks

[@beloved815]

I been in no contact for one month. My ex hasn’t contacted me. I don’t know if no contact works. I’m not sure if he’s coming back.

[@adamdanmusic]

Did they contact? One month often isn’t enough time.

[@redamancy4909]

Update?

[@Joe-tb5oq]

I was dumped by my ex who is a anxious attacher and after a week dated already a former colleague. Now what? Im a DA but when she broke up with me I suddenly became anxious hahaha

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@planet-earth-viewsplanet-e7487]

Update?

[@joshp146]

Same

[@marcusperdue505]

What if its your wife that left and hasnt spoken in 3 months

[@yougotgroove]

They accept that they are not worthy!!

[@marz8264]

I have a question on this. What if I'm the one who broke up with him because well my situation is I had a hysterectomy and my value in his life was he wasn't dependable. I couldn't even get him to make me a pizza I mean there was more to it. I've been telling him for months that things wouldn't change. Then we were going to have to go different directions. But basically he got mad at me because I asked him make a pizza and told me that me and my children were holding him down. He wants to do with guys his age do and then he hates me so I broke it off after 6 years of marriage

[@tysmbugua3656]

You must really want that pizza

[@lemagloria]

hi chris! can you make a video on how to avoid partner who have avoident attachement style please? and another one for how to heal from anxious attachement style in order to break any cycles?

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@sonalishukla2749]

Do no contact works twice? Please reply coach.

[@H2oLordgsm]

I'd say move on if they arent Trying to i know its hard but trust me ull love the feeling of moving on you're just used like an option currently

[@sonalishukla2749]

@@H2oLordgsm ok

[@countcrow]

Yes it does. He has said that in many vids

[@Donniesid]

My dumper broke up with me a week before his birthday. He started partying hard with friends, than told me he wants to be single. We live together. He left 2 days before his birthday, and returned 2 weeks later with a tan. I went no contact during this time. I was also dating during this time to keep my mind off of my heartbreak. One of my dates bought me flowers. I put them in a vase and left them on the counter top. When my dumper returned 2 weeks later. He saw the flowers and accused me of disrespecting him by bringing a next mans flowers in his home. I simply responded "I was not expecting you". He has been trying to make small talk ever since. I just started to heal before he popped up. Now my energy feels drained and Im experiencing so many mixed emotions. Any advice would help.

[@therealone8628]

If you have not fallen for him by now, please keep acting like you don't care. Have your date come pick you up. Hug him good bye. Let him see all these, that he's replaceable.

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......

[@therealone8628]

@@omiunusamson9978 mumu dey there dey fool yourself. Ode

[@crystalclimenhage7159]

They cant act proper in a relationship and start getting an attitude

[@joshn5073]

they always come back, TELL THEM TO KICK ROCKS

[@MrVishal283]

We had a fight back in November and was a pretty ugliest where i said many things to her and then she said i dont find u attractive and i am disintrested in you and she blocked me and cut the cords everywhere... We have fought many times but this time she said its done and moved on... But she said everytime to me that i mean a lot to her and no one will ever love her like i did.. Said sorry but she is cold on me now.. What i suppose to do now?

[@williamsw2219]

Don't contact her, let her contact you. Give it a couple of months. Give her space to process everything. Her feelings can change with time.

[@waleedchorfii2495]

Go no contact, I had the worst breakup ever, big fight, ans curses , got blocked everywhere .. after exactly 16months she reached out to me and wouldnt stop initiating contact .. I had lost interest in her so I just kept chatting like I would with any other friend .. she wants me, I don't want her .. no contact does WONDERS!

[@sehrishkhalid126]

Reach out to her & try to fix things.. if you still love her.. Believe me.. if she said you mean alot to her..she means it & she still loves you

[@tnxdot2565]

@@sehrishkhalid126 doesn't apply to every thing. I tried to reach out to mine after three weeks of no contact. She told me she was busy that i can call her anytime i want when im free. Called her once, she didn't answer. Told me she was busy, told her i will try to contact her some other day. But im not planning to contact her. She is enjoying her life and wants to be left alone. Not gonna waste my time waiting for someone who is not even sure of what they want. She's drinking a lot with her "boy friends" who she just Met. She is staying in US til May. She is an avoidant. Made a lot of promises then dumped me for whatever reason. Told me she wants to find herself, told me she wants to come back better because she is in pain rn and does not want me to get hurt. A week later, she put resistance and told me she didnt even planned to come back. Reached out to her couple of days to catch up because she told me she still wants me around, but not as her bf, yet she is not making time or effort to talk to me. Better leave them alone and fix themselves.

[@sehrishkhalid126]

@@tnxdot2565 So sorry to hear that.. your situation is very complicated.. The worst thing is when a guy has alot of female friends & while they drink together & sleep together.. & same with girls.. what’s the point of having so many guy friends? Isn’t her BF enough for them to talk to and share & hang out with? That’s why I have walked out of the relationship of two years.. It’s painful right now.. but I’ll come over it soon!

[@milagrosrodriguez4136]

But the avoidant has a rebound ASAP n posting happy quotes n tagging her like he is so happy

[@elijahvalera7964]

It wont last that long.

[@omiunusamson9978]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together...

[@omiunusamson9978]

Contact him 👆.

[@MartialArtswithLucyLu]

@@elijahvalera7964 If it won’t last long then why do it in the first place like why can’t people just work things out instead of being like this here…?

[@Thewolfbehindthepulpit]

Never Never Never. I used to love eating her pie, but when you break up never go back to a contaminated pie. Absolutely NO nut pie for me. I'm good!

[@Any66134]

Is 3 months of for an anxious dumper alot or a fast grief?

[@joanne4820]

Normal the average of healing is 3,5 month