When I Was a Lad - HMS Pinafore

The D'Oyly Carte Opera Company Performs Gilbert & Sullivan's The HMS Pinafore, or The Lass that Loved a Sailor

[@sandienochs6132]

My Dad would walk around and sing this song really loud to wake us up in the morning. I sure miss that crazy old turd. I’m in my seventies, see ya soon buddy.

[@bandicootcollector]

What a wonderful memory!

[@JerryFreeman265]

heartwarming words in this weird world.

[@Elementlmage]

No song that is 120 years old has the right to be this relevant!

[@user-do1un6xw5t]

I passed the examination as you can see now a total fruit of the queen's navy.. he became a captain I bet he a lot of seaman on his poop deck.. below deck with Roger the cabin boy watch out for rear admiralls that's you wear bisexual clips

[@josephpanzarella1417]

Before he became Kaiser Wilhelm II Germany's Prince Wilhelm had a private audience with Arthur Sullivan whose work he admired. At the end of their formal meeting the prince got up to leave. Before he did, with his back to Sullivan, he sang: "He polished up the handle of the big front door!" leaving Sullivan in hysterics.

[@lavendervonstaro4004]

Sounds really funny. Got a source though?

[@josephpanzarella1417]

@@lavendervonstaro4004 The incident was recorded in Sullivan's diary and reprinted in many books.

[@lavendervonstaro4004]

@@josephpanzarella1417 Cheers

[@nationalprussialism4880]

@@lavendervonstaro4004 learn to use the internet you parasite

[@miguelmartins9706]

@@nationalprussialism4880 didn't your parents teach you manners?

[@112steinway]

"I thought so little they rewarded me by making me the ruler of the Queen's Navy" is probably the best line of political critique I have ever heard.

[@Ratboy1955]

also .. " I always voted at my Party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all ".

[@fieldmartan4426]

I'd always throught it was "fought" rather than "thought."

[@lavamatstudios]

@@firstnamett4656 Sure, but if you're looking for a replacement, you gotta remember that right-wing people are more sensitive to authority. It would be kinda silly to go for "conservatives" if you want new and original thought. Their whole movement is about falling in line.

[@Baibakov88]

@@firstnamett4656 Man, you Brexiteers are a hoot. Continental businesses are laughing all the way to the bank.

[@lavamatstudios]

@@firstnamett4656 You can't have

[@Cinedragon]

I'm normally not into opera or light opera at all. But Gilbert and Sullivan manages to hook me right in. The lyrics are pretty difficult for a non-English person like me, but I do manage to understand the criticism and humor in them and I think that is really brilliant!

[@Ratboy1955]

Don't worry Cinedragon, many people of English first language who are under 30 y.o.a. don't get it .

[@bh8642]

Note that G&S play with the grammar for the sake of rhyme. For example, "they rewarded me", when sung by the chorus, is changed to "they rewarded he" and not to the correct "they rewarded him". Also, some knowledge of British history is required: what is a "pocket borough".

[@pappamojovcheroes2442]

Operetta

[@pappamojovcheroes2442]

​@@bh8642 Political advantage due to family connections

[@danielzylberkan1587]

This is a really, really smart critique of Victorian politics people don't give Gilbert enough credit for being a satirist

[@CA-ee1et]

Alternatively, it's a snobbish put down of WH Smith, who didn't come from a landed background, had made his money in 'trade', yet - shock! horror! - was in the Cabinet as the First Lord of the Admiralty.

[@timmeinshausen6060]

I feel like that’s the whole reason he was famous? Everyone got the joke and loved it

[@missnailbeauty9452]

Once I had a parakeet who seemed to love this and other overatures by gilbert and sullivan. He must have been more intelligent than other birds.

[@Lazyguy22]

Is he now the ruler of the Queen's Na-vee?

[@CarlosHernandez-cp8qd]

Don't keep birds in cages.

[@Baibakov88]

The very model of a modern major parakeet

[@vivr0]

Nobody sang this better than John Reed. Thanks for posting.

[@dnardi11]

Have you considered Martin Green a contender for the title?

[@gillwilkinsongw]

I never thought that G&S was for me until I saw HMS Pinafore at the Theatre Royal in Norwich. The opera company was the Carl Rosa, and it was probably one of the most enjoyable evenings I have ever had. It was truly awesome and has converted me overnight.

[@elizabethsohler6516]

Excellent taste!

[@jamesbrennan5666]

First heard this song on suite life of Zack and Cody when I was 8. Immediately fell in love with the song.

[@Ratboy1955]

My late father had this very record. It puts me in mind of a TV commercial for a car yard, around 1972 ... " When I was a lad I served a term, winding back the clocks for a used car firm, I covered up the rust with a coat of grey, and fiddled with the steering of a Chevrolet " Cool.

[@rm3141593]

LOL!

[@HOTTIUSMAXIMUS]

Ratboy1955 Hilarious 😆

[@martas9283]

That's brilliant, now I want to see the ad!

[@Silavite]

...a meticulous analysis of history!

[@oscarwind4266]

I will find a way to make the pepole worship me

[@AnimaniacsPT]

Animaniacs and Patb used HMS Pinnafore songs a lot, mostly in the 3rd episode of Animaniacs!

[@Yamamanama]

Zort!

[@tiatrips]

Thank you. It was bothering me I could remember me where I knew the tune.

[@awesomegreenlantern]

I once was on a jury and this song came to mind when I thought of one of the lawyers. He lost. It was a family practice. I almost sang this song for him. But I wussed out. I'm sad I didn't.

[@derricgreene]

+awesomegreenlantern Makes me think of "Trial by Jury."

[@Pre114]

This song still speaks the truth even after over a hundred years!

[@biliminsrlar5752]

Hundered and seven years.

[@_QWERTY__]

So, funny story, I got here from worf, picard, and data singing "A British Tar" and I wanted to hear the rest of the performance. Amazing!!!

[@starbug1409]

I first heard this when I was a kid. THIS WAS MY FIRST GILBERT AND SULLIVAN SONG. ^_^

[@beaniestygirlzforever1782]

And pinky and the brain did this song but they used history instead of navy lol

[@dorandragon]

when you were a lad even?

[@marinameilenstein]

When you were a lad... :D

[@kk7171]

Mine was I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General

[@HisDishonorTheMayor]

Excellent still, and just look around your own company, as I did mine, over 120 years later, and look at the bosses who "stuck close to their desks", and who know little or nothing of what they are allegedly running.

[@matthewdaye5410]

I am wildly unqualified for this position!

[@joeblondiemanco8918]

When I was a lad I would listen to a clip of this on Encarta 97 regularly

[@j86u]

Encarta for me too

[@FunGeekZNerdParty1984]

Pinky and the brain out of a meticulous analysis's of history got me here

[@HOTTIUSMAXIMUS]

Long before “Pinky & The Brain” spoofed this classic, I was singing along with Allen Sherman: “When I was a lad, I went to Yale, And I knew then that I could never fail For I studied very hard and furthermore I polished up the apple for the Pro-Fess-OR Oh he polished up the apple for The Pro-Fess-Or

[@MichaelS1995]

Love the HMS Pinafore!

[@martincunningham9463]

+Michael S. same best musical even better than Billy Eliot

[@megbailey3562]

They were way ahead of their time! Electric!

[@manfredatee]

It's on KZbin somewhere, the whole 1978 Pinafore TV movie. It's really nice.

[@davidcrook4166]

Haven't I given this all-time classic a "like" yet??? I have now!

[@Leminko11]

Legendary recording quality - glad I have it pristine vinyl :-)

[@AFxS130]

After listening to this song: *"...Wow! They must make ANYONE a captain where he comes from!"*

[@chariswilliams6990]

First time I eve heard this was in the movie "Chariots of Fire". Love it!

[@youngarchivest9092]

When I was a lad I served a term As office boy to an Attorney's firm. I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor, And I polished up the handle of the big front door. (He polished up the handle of the big front door.) I polished up that handle so carefullee That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! (He polished up that handle so carefullee, That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee!) As office boy I made such a mark That they gave me the post of a junior clerk. I served the writs with a smile so bland, And I copied all the letters in a big round hand. (He copied all the letters in a big round hand.) I copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! (He copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!) In serving writs I made such a name That an articled clerk I soon became; I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit For the passed examination at the Institute. (For the passed examination at the Institute.) That passed examination did so well for me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! (That passed examination did so well for he, That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!) Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip That they took me into the partnership. And that junior partnership, I ween, Was the only ship that I ever had seen. (Was the only ship that he ever had seen.) But that kind of ship so suited me, That now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navee! (But that kind of ship so suited he, That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee!) I grew so rich that I was sent By a pocket borough into Parliament. I always voted at my party's call, And I never thought of thinking for myself at all. (He never thought of thinking for himself at all.) I thought so little, they rewarded me By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! (He thought so little, they rewarded he By making him the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!) Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule. (Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.) Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee! (Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!)

[@felixargyle8698]

thanks hotzendorf

[@martas9283]

..for writing up these lyrics so helpfully, he should be made the ruler of the Queen's navy..

[@thesouthernsinger2763]

@@martas9283 This comment made me laugh so giddily, that I think he should be ruler of the Queen’s Navy~

[@carefulpilgrim]

Thank you for taking time to transcribe the words! Brilliant wit and enchanting, peppy music!

[@MilesBellas]

John Lamb Reed, OBE (13 February 1916 - 13 February 2010) was an English actor, dancer and singer, known for his nimble performances in the principal comic roles of the Savoy Operas, particularly with the D'Oyly Carte Opera Company.

[@dulcieblythe8211]

cant beat D'Oyly Carte happy days!

[@Ratboy1955]

Yes, by far the best version of 'Pinafore'.

[@TikiFoamy38]

Beautiful

[@iumans]

Ah, the great John Reed. Love him.

[@begs54]

I had the seen the D'Oyly Carte preform in Boston on many of thier U.S. tours. The D'Oyly Carte considered Boston thier second home and the Coloniel Theater, thier theater of choice. I'm glad I saw Gilbert and Sullivan preformed the way it should be preformed!!!!!!

[@eleonora1782]

John Reed has a gorgeous , luscious voice.

[@johncarroll3655]

Biting satire delivered in classic British mockery. Pure genius.

[@forzaalonsof1305]

Can't help but to sing "Through meticulous analysis of history I will find a way to make the people worship me" as the opening line......Thumbs up if you get the reference!

[@SpeedySpectrum]

+Jared Slater Yeesss!

[@danielwatson2701]

Dude I love Pinky and the Brain

[@beaniestygirlzforever1782]

Me 2!

[@sarahmcmann5253]

Daniel Watson so do I they are so funny and cute

[@SteffLoui88]

Only one of THE best 90s animated shows

[@benbisley]

True. It's happened in the NHS hospital service. 30 years ago it was run by professionals who knew what they were doing; it's now run by grocers.

[@hanochcohen2243]

Used to sneak out from the office to catch a matinee with John Reed. 1969

[@awesomewonderful1]

but did he eat 4 dozen eggs to help him get large

[@Mycroft93]

He was too busy polishing the handle so carefully, and now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navy.

[@namala3009]

And if he did, did he grow to a size that was roughly that of a barge?

[@abk2k3aaronkauflin83]

no he was busy coping all the letters with a hand so free he became the ruler of the queens navy

[@AnimeSunglasses]

No, were you not listening? He took quite the opposite approach!

[@Nosferatu2020]

Addicted to this song

[@mkehandgrenades]

thank you for uploading. my dad showed me this when i was a little kid. for some reason i want to hear this played on guitar bass and drums. it think it would make a badass song. actually the whole opera would.

[@odinfromcentr2]

This song is still accurate today. Technology may have changed, but people most assuredly have not. And the mAsses keep falling for it every time.

[@arthurballs9632]

These days we call them diversity quotas. Hence why the 24 year old daughter of a senior member of the Labour Party is the effective leader of the Football Association. She had no revelant or even irrelevant experience, doesn't even care about football, but she's very good at calling people racist, for crimes such as using words she's unfamiliar with.

[@sharlin648]

Quiet Pinky...

[@IDF1987]

Kind of pokes fun at the point that First Lord of the Admiralty has always been a political post. While he was later a fantastic Prime Minister, Sir Winston Churchill nearly destroyed his career at the post during WWI when he went against First Sea Lord Jacky Fisher and launched the Galipoli Campaign.

[@jeffmeds]

Adm Fisher was nuttier than a march hare. He stabbed Churchill in the back. If the Dardenelles campaign would have succeeded it would have saved millions of lives.

[@weremensch]

This one was actually aimed at W.H. Smith, who was a publisher before he became First Lord. Mind you, he spent the rest of his career known as Pinafore Smith.

[@dorkmax7073]

@@jeffmeds The Campaign was doomed from the start. It was an operation designed by committee for a political purpose- not a strategic one.

[@reichtangle7734]

@@dorkmax7073 Like in the film Darkest hour Churchill says to Halifax: “If the admirals and the first sea Lord didn’t give away the element of surprise it could have damn well worked!”

[@Charliecomet82]

If Churchill hadn't nicked those two Turkish battleships, there wouldn't have been need for a Gallipoli Campaign.

[@martincunningham9463]

Best song in the musical of HMS pinifore ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

[@stevenmathers6661]

* opera

[@AC-ne8md]

When I was a lad I served a term As office boy to an Attorney's firm. I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor, And I polished up the handle of the big front door. (He polished up the handle of the big front door.) I polished up that handle so carefully That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navy! (He polished up that handle so carefullee, That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee!) As office boy I made such a mark That they gave me the post of a junior clerk. I served the writs with a smile so bland, And I copied all the letters in a big round hand. (He copied all the letters in a big round hand.) I copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! (He copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!) In serving writs I made such a name That an articled clerk I soon became; I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit For the passed examination at the Institute. (For the passed examination at the Institute.) That passed examination did so well for me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! (That passed examination did so well for he, That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!) Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip That they took me into the partnership. And that junior partnership, I ween, Was the only ship that I ever had seen. (Was the only ship that he ever had seen.) But that kind of ship so suited me, That now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navee! (But that kind of ship so suited he, That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee!) I grew so rich that I was sent By a pocket borough into Parliament. I always voted at my party's call, And I never thought of thinking for myself at all. (He never thought of thinking for himself at all.) I thought so little, they rewarded me By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! (He thought so little, they rewarded he By making him the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!) Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule. (Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.) Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee! (Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!)

[@michaelanstis5668]

my mum loved this song

[@frederickcoots2289]

A favorite from Gilbert and Sullivan H.M.S Pinafore, "When I Was a Lad". I think I would be able to hold this job when I was a boy.

[@hotradiogaga]

I'd love to hear Tim Curry singing this

[@snozzlehead92]

In Gabriel Knight's accent.

[@stewartberger7734]

This is brilliant

[@martinwright7341]

i just can't but adore this "thing"...and others. happy and fun. nice choral rendition.

[@frogstamper]

@Dickard Cain Great post, I love the Tea Party analogy its very apt.....

[@lianasoares8052]

Peter Pan (2003) brought me here. I like how the tune is the same throughout the song. 🎼🎶🎵🙂

[@torviannetwork1796]

See, music can be catchy and still have quality modern pop music artists!

[@Joggi98]

Damn, every song from this is so fucking catchy!

[@MrCuddlyable3]

Kaiser Willy It's so mature of you to use a big-D and a big-F.

[@MattPuxty]

MrCuddlyable3 Equating lack of maturity with the use of swear words is the work of a big-C.

[@malcolmdale]

and they managed to write it all without ever using the boring F word.

[@annodomini7887]

Hail kaiser!!!

[@nedland20]

Your mother should have taught little Kaiser Willy how to express himself in proper terms not the language of the gutter.

[@frederickcoots2289]

"When I Was a Lad", from HMS Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan. One of my favorites.

[@frederickcoots2289]

I love that British humor. Gilbert and Sullivan comic operas are my best.

[@frederickcoots2289]

I think I'm worthy of being the "Ruler of the Queen's Navie". I spend many hours a day (weather permitting) sitting on my favorite seat near the ocean looking out to sea for whales. I've been whale watching for many years and I have not seen one yet. Doesn't this "dedication" qualify me for "Ruler of the Queen's Navie" ?

[@barrydelisle8655]

Great song

[@JohnSmith-bt5pg]

The POG anthem

[@FrasatFarooq]

This jawn knocks!

[@matthewlaurence3121]

Procisely! By sucking up to the right people, and/or paying there way up the ladder.

[@shaonian]

This was a smash hit in 1878...

[@tavrincallas3218]

10/10 can recommend the golden rule. I've never been at sea once and now I am the ruler of the world navy

[@artemis_smith]

This makes me laugh. I can see this happening in my mind.

[@vampiregoth8162]

Best version

[@Comraderob1]

I came her from a Pinky and the Brain song, which I had gone to from a suite life of Zach and Cody clip where Cody sings this song...oh the adventures one takes at midnight in bed on youtube

[@TheeBohemian]

When I was a lad I served a term As office boy to an Attorney's firm. I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor, And I polished up the handle of the big front door. Chorus. He polished up the handle of the big front door. I polished up that handle so carefullee That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! Chorus. He polished up that handle so carefullee, That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee! As office boy I made such a mark That they gave me the post of a junior clerk. I served the writs with a smile so bland, And I copied all the letters in a big round hand. Chorus. He copied all the letters in a big round hand. I copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! Chorus. He copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! In serving writs I made such a name That an articled clerk I soon became; I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit For the pass examination at the Institute. Chorus. For the pass examination at the Institute. That pass examination did so well for me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! Chorus. That pass examination did so well for he, That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip That they took me into the partnership. And that junior partnership, I ween, Was the only ship that I ever had seen. Chorus. Was the only ship that he ever had seen. But that kind of ship so suited me, That now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navee! Chorus. But that kind of ship so suited he, That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee! I grew so rich that I was sent By a pocket borough into Parliament. I always voted at my party's call, And I never thought of thinking for myself at all. Chorus. He never thought of thinking for himself at all. I thought so little, they rewarded me By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! Chorus. He thought so little, they rewarded he By making him the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule. Chorus. Be careful to be guided by this golden rule. Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee! Chorus. Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

[@MilesBellas]

ween..... verb (used with or without object) Archaic. to think; suppose. to expect, hope, or intend

[@sanjixvc5024]

We sang this song in music it’s catchy lol

[@manfredatee]

Gilbert and Sullivan has the right to be whatever it wants.

[@matthewdaye5410]

I used to be a whimsey boy, but now i am one of the most powerful

[@astrocipher2985]

Great.

[@mattprssmn4]

A Meticulous Analysis Of History!

[@mkehandgrenades]

@Anarchemitis instead of the choir in the back some crazy guitar licks. i love how classical music ha the ability to alternate between just afew instruments and a slower melody and then speed up with more instruments and more vocals.

[@sharlin648]

I'd give serious money for a just instrumental version of this song.

[@buixote]

I was exposed to some sound from our current Secretary of State... It reminded me of this song, and how it sadly applies to so many Denizens of DC.

[@Anarchemitis]

@mkehandgrenades That actually sounds incredibly awesome.

[@jellyfishattack]

Does anyone have video of John Reed singing this? I thought 2 operettas were recorded in the late 70s? I really want to see him 'in action'!! :))

[@gregsmithendavis4315]

As a kid .me and brother use to sing now i am the ruler of the bbc. Or now they' gave me a job at the bbc

[@creeperiguess]

How to become Ruler of The Queens Navy. Step one: Polish the door hand very well, Step Two: Carefully sweep the Floor, Step Three: Think so little that they reward you as the Ruler of The Queens Navy, And finally step four: serve a term.

[@hansellius]

It believed that the song was satirizing a real person, who had become First Lord of the Admiralty despite having no experience, either in politics or the navy. And the man in question was a William Henry Smith - of WHSmiths.

[@mattcee6323]

Way too relevant today...

[@liahansen6896]

what how

[@DalokiMauvais]

ROFL! You are SO RIGHT!

[@DalokiMauvais]

Think Donald Trump...

[@fidellah67]

well....not exactly...the song is a mockery of those who do not think for themselves and rise to the top of the establishment through the appointment of the rulers....Donald Trump thinks for himself too much that is why the former rulers put up such a fight to keep him from winning Democratic election. He was appointed by public choice.

[@DalokiMauvais]

Well, I see your point... "I am the very model of a modern major general" is a better match.

[@pikppa]

This is still all too well accurate

[@rm3141593]

Yeah, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

[@odinfromcentr2]

Technology changes. People do not.

[@snoopenny]

He had a wonderful career at the Met. Although a lyric, he sang a wide variety of roles. We loved him.

[@Pure_Uranium_]

And a good 19th century song.

[@medicmain6615]

yes indeed

[@preagle60657]

Well... government work (says this government worker) hasn't changed much since the late 1800's, has it?

[@elizabethsohler6516]

Actually I've always had a soft spot for government workers. You folks put up with a lot of abuse from citizens for things that aren't necessarily your fault.

[@jellyfishattack]

@vivr0 I agree, no one sang this better than John Reed!

[@tenirpaslager]

What a comedy

[@Rikard_A]

Oh, the anthem of the politicians!

[@DruidSix]

ANY QUESTIONS THIS FAR?

[@Quagmirian]

I can't seem to face up to the facts I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire Don't touch me I'm a real live wire Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better Run run run run run run run away oh oh

[@raisamartinez9016]

The "pitter-patter" effect; can you hear it?

[@MilesBellas]

Inimitable John Reed.

[@user-ch5qd3uz3l]

god bless pinky and the brain

[@TheAarhus1975]

Admiralens vise😂

[@gregsmithendavis4315]

Thik about it its a skit on admiral lord nelson . Who did say kiz me hard his last words was let the battle comence..

[@lucythecbckidsfan8200]

Brain: Through meticulous analysis of history I will find a way to make the people worship me. By studying the conquerors of days gone by, I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry. Pinky: So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try. Brain: By studying the past so carefully, I won't repeat the same mistakes of history. Pinky: You'll never make another mistake, you see, 'cause you'll fall asleep from reading all that history. Brain: Pay attention Pinky! When Cleopatra reigned as Queen, With Roman leaders she was often seen. But when she had no ruling friend, She found a poison snake to bite her in the end. Pinky: A bite down there I really wouldn't recommend. Brain: I won't need world alliances, When I'm commanding everyone's appliances. Pinky: Oh no Brain, that would really smart, To be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart. Brain: Hannibal, our book confirms, Tried conquering Italy with pachyderms. Just why he failed, nobody tells, But he never could get past the Roman sentinels. Pinky: And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells. Brain: An elephant is not required, If I can use the media to be admired. Pinky: The TV viewers you'll delight, Unless the network puts your show on Sunday night. Brain: Attila was a mighty Hun, He ransacked Asia Minor just for fun. But when he got to Europe's banks, He was routed by an army of heroic Franks. Pinky: I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks. Brain: Why pillage like a criminal, When I can send out messages subliminal. Pinky: Please send a message to that Hun, To see if he can pillage me a hot dog bun. (The Brain whacks Pinky with the sausage) Pinky: ZORT! Brain: Caligula was no boy scout, He did things that we can't even talk about. The Romans knew he'd lost his head, When he filled a vacant Senate seat with Mr. Ed. Pinky: What's wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred? Brain: Why rule like such a reprobate, When I can put the world in a hypnotic state? Pinky: When everybody's in a trance, You can make the people do a chicken dance. Brain: Pinky, if you don't stop this foolishness, I shall have to hurt you. Pinky: kay. Brain: In France, Napoleon Buonaparte, Thought beating Austria was very smart. But when he took on England too, He was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo. Pinky: And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo. Brain: Why conquer with depravity, I'll win the world by undermining gravity. Pinky: And even if your plan falls through, Maybe they will name a pastry after you. (The Brain Squirts Pastry goo in Pinky’s Face) Pinky: WAAHAHAHA! Brain: From Ghengis Khan to Charlemagne, From Alexander down to Tamburlaine. I find a ruler's tragic flaw, And gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas. Pinky: Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas. Brain: That concludes my little rhyme, I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time. Pinky: Well Brain, I've learned that one thing's true, Every one of them has failed, and so have you. Brain: Thank you for your vote of confidence. Now come, we must prepare for tomorrow night. Pinky: Why, what are we going to do tomorrow night? Sing a song about all the world's cheeses? Brain: No, Pinky, we shall try to take over the world, Through meticulous analysis of history.

[@campbellmays9900]

I forced you to use the still-frame on your VCR

[@usedx115x]

The tune is like a much faster version of the 5 little ducks song.

[@Fanakapan222]

Remarkable to think that allowing for a germ of truth, Great Britain at the zenith of its power achieved that position despite a political class that generally must have been as poor as that we see today. It may even be a valid observation that capable politicians (Utopianists by and large) may be an impediment to progress. :)

[@JonatasAdoM]

Gotta start polishing door knobs.

[@nerfreak01]

"Bad dates."

[@gearsofschok]

Factotum Charles bukowsky?