When Is It Time To Divorce?

Is it time to get a divorce?
This is one of the hardest questions to answer.
But please hear this...
No one else should be making that decision for you.
In this video Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, shares some very good tips and advice (that you likely have not heard anywhere else!) when it comes to deciding whether or not you should stay in your marriage.
*First, if you are in a position where you aren't safe, protect yourself. Your safety is the FIRST priority. Physical, mental, or emotional abuse on you or your children requires help immediately. Call the Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233
If you are safe, but still experiencing a marriage crisis, we can help. In fact, the majority of marriages we work with at Marriage Helper involve affairs, addictions, or irreconcilable differences. So if you don't have peace about divorce, saying, “It's not right, I want to make it work. I love my spouse!” then, I encourage you to not just decide to divorce. Don't move forward if you don't have peace.
But what if you’re NOT the one pushing for a divorce? Saying, “I’m not the one filing for divorce! My spouse filed and I can't stop them!” You may not control whether or not you get a divorce, it may happen to you, but it's not who you are. You can ONLY control yourself.
What can you do?
- Do what helps you become the best you can be
- Do the things that have the BEST possibility of bringing your marriage back; bringing your spouse back
- Start the FREE MINI COURSE: "How To Get Your Spouse Back" here: marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course/
If you feel like the ONLY option is divorce, we want to show you there is another way. We have seen and heard every story imaginable. No matter what the crisis is, we know that there is HOPE. People can change.
Learn about the Marriage Turnaround Weekend: marriagehelper.com/online-workshop/
If you truly believe, and want to try everything you can to make your marriage work, we're here to help.
Thank you for watching! Be sure to like, subscribe, share and also turn on the notifications by clicking the bell! We hope you find our videos helpful.
Call: 1 (866) 903 - 0990
Email: @MarriageHelper.com
More Free Resources: www.marriagehelper.com/
Facebook: MarriageHelper/
Instagram: @MarriageHelper
Spreaker: www.spreaker.com/user/marriagehelper
Itunes: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-helper-helping-your-marriage/id978519992
Follow Kimberly on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes
Learn More About PIES University: PIESUniversity.com

[@MarriageHelper]

Get the NEW Save My Marriage Course Here! marriagehelper.com/product/save-my-marriage/

[@alexdavidson7768]

Not free anymore

[@naomivung5459]

I am abandoned by my husband because of my breast cancer disease. But God never abandoned me when I am in a good health and bad health. My happy marriage is ending but my happiness in the Lord is forever. I really thank God for that.

[@madhumitha7958]

😔

[@scania1982]

There is no god.

[@monay09louvonachek]

@@scania1982 shame on you for that comment. There is a great God in heaven and he sits high and looks low. Please repent quickly 🙏

[@scania1982]

@@monay09louvonachek Never!

[@chanceberg832]

@@scania1982 Your a blind Fool

[@natalyar.1271]

Disclaimer - the video doesn’t tell you the signs you should consider divorce as an option

[@bcgarrels]

My wife had an affair with a much younger man, and when I found out I could not handle the despair and hurt of the betrayal. I admit that I lashed out at her verbally and emotionally, because I thought that somehow I could make her hurt as much as she hurt me. Which is perverse, but I was not really a functioning adult at that time. At first, she was 100% committed to reconciliation, but she started seeing a "therapist" who took her down the road of divorce almost from the beginning. I know this from the books she had my wife read, and her attitude toward me changed drastically. The worst part was the several months after she had decided to divorce me (although she kept that secret from me) and went through her "detachment process" (guided by her "therapist") in which she basically treated me like a stranger in my own home. No touching, no contact beyond the bare minimum, used the guest bathroom, put away all jewelry and clothing I had bought her, etc. The emotional torture of this detachment caused a complete mental and emotional breakdown, and I literally spent hours every day sobbing. She showed no emotion, and in fact, I think one part of her enjoyed watching me suffer. Eventually, I was able to collect myself through intense trauma therapy with a great therapist, but at that point she told me she wanted a divorce. My therapist advised me to move out of the house for my emotional health, and I reluctantly did so in July 2020. My moving out caused a sudden change in my wife. She started being nice to me again when I would come get the kids or go to our kids' events. We would talk and even laugh at times. We still get along when we see each other, but she has basically adopted a no contact mentality towards me. I am pretty sure she is back with her affair partner even though there is almost no chance of a real relationship forming beyond the physical. She told me back in August that even though she has decided to divorce me, that she still loves me. In spite of everything that has happened, I still love her as much or more as I did the day we married. Not being married to her just doesn't feel right, but she is still committed to the divorce process. Anyway, I really would like to purchase your program and/or hire a counselor through you. Even if I never get her back, I need to at least get me back as a healthier and better version than what I was before. Thank you for your inspiring videos.

[@scottwidiculous]

I wouldn’t have anymore contact with her than you have to for the kids, and I would put a boundary on her where the two of you only talk about the kids. What you are describing sounds like she likes to burn ants to death with a magnifying glass. Don’t let her keep treating you this way. It’s not okay.

[@juliahuldatshiqwetha7569]

I hope you find closure and someone who will commit to being faithful to you

[@colleencatalano3547]

I’m Going through the same thing with my husband.

[@ankitamukherjee2351]

I am going through the same emotional torture.he is completely detouched n does not even communicate.he never considered about his affair but I can find him with me nowhere

[@wm7929]

This has been a couple years, I would love to hear an update if you've got one...

[@wmoore2011]

I have been married and divorced twice both were huge train wrecks and I am done with Marriage never again I love being a single man! Marriage is NOT for everyone and not ALL marriages can be saved!

[@Ink30]

Third times a charm😂😂 completely teasing

[@aerodylluk2543]

'Be the best version of yourself that you can be, regardless of the circumstances' is the best summary of stoicism I have ever heard.

[@jackiebaker2266]

My husband likes to keep shit from me and when I find something say, " I don't know." With mental health issues with us both he may be right. I don't know where the sickness and in health begins and when it's manipulation

[@mirian6586]

Mine hides stuff from me too. Somehow he has no idea why I don't trust him...he also doesn't know half of what I have learned about him yet. I'm waiting for a great time to lay it all out.

[@kromtastic]

The table and plant made my ocd go off the chart. I felt ill looking at it

[@justkathy264]

🤣

[@westcoastbred7745]

I am more sick by her voice

[@larryrichins7887]

Some marriages are hopeless I'm in one of those, I 38 years invested My wife has pushed me away to the breaking point where I don't love her no more and there's no bringing me back I've had it, time to move on.

[@Ink30]

Sad but sometimes it's for the best😊

[@Sarah-qx4vz]

I have written about 20 paragraphs in my notes on shit I hate about my husband to read to my therapist. I’m so miserable and I’m becoming more and more fed up with his BS.

[@Cheskat32]

My husband withholds sex and affection that I don’t bother trying to touch him anymore. How can someone deal with a sexless marriage? It’s really hard to deal with and I feel lonely sick and lost. Am I doomed to get a divorce and I might as well go though with it. Just seems so hopeless right now

[@Michaeladechatillon]

☹️💔

[@-BENYAH]

I’m in the same situation sis. Such a shame I wasted my youth on this man who repeatedly rejects me and has no desire whatsoever to be intimate with me

[@chanceberg832]

Seems like I'm going through the same thing...

[@TheOriginalNiceGuy]

That’s unusual for a man to not want to touch his wife. I’ve got the opposite problem. She’s sexless and doesn’t seem to make a difference always a gap!

[@alwayscrabby2241]

I’m dealing with this right now and just found out because I gained weight he thinks I look like a pig , which was just great, but I know what your going through

[@Alien-8]

I have been listening to your videos for a while now and they have been helpful a lot, I am learning so much that I wouldn't have other wise, thank you for giving us hope and for teaching us how we should be as partners, thank you so much and to all the people that are struggling like me, hang in there we will get through this much love and prayers send your way ❤️

[@767dag]

Been out of rehab 300 days and , I thought it would be better... it’s been nothing but a complete struggle and hateful things being said .....I’m sooooo broke and damaged... guilty on no respect and poor communication...YOU NAILED IT . I feel like cry . I don’t know if it going to be salvageable....

[@tamaralikecamera]

I've been through emotional and mental abuse that is bringing me down in my mental health. My children see it and they are also being abused in a non obvious way to where all that is within me wants to save them, but I would seem too sensitive or take it the wrong way. But the big mama bear comes out Ina very serious way and I'm full of anxiety. And I'm sick of the cycle of mental abuse.

[@Celestin566]

Your not alone. Pray God give you the wisdom to pull through

[@cmiss2724]

We both completely shutdown with each other’s except kids stuffs sigh I don’t know if I still loved him anymore his words and actions are so hurtful

[@neskorock]

I am going through the same thing.

[@abigailevans2760]

My husband is addicted to video games and doesn't help me with the chores and it's driving me crazy and making me resent him.

[@desertdweller9548]

​@@MarriageHelper you ever get tired of answering every comment with "yo, hire me"? It's pathetic.

[@amechecameron3217]

Same, divorcing him today. A grown man with this level of addiction is wild.

[@muralikasini]

I wish my wife could divorce me for my video game addiction.

[@susymfoster956]

What if I don’t feel emotionally safe with my husband?

[@adamford4167]

I don't feel emotionally safe with my wife. I'm not sure what the answer is myself. Maybe describe in what ways you feel unsafe? I feel unsafe because of my wifes anger and general frustration whenever we talk about anything intimate or sensitive. She is also very accusatory. Just some of the things I experience.

[@dieseldan1]

@@adamford4167 I'm in the exact same boat brother. We don't have kids together so I don't have any reason to stick around any longer.

[@adamford4167]

@@dieseldan1 get out and find someone else

[@mamisanga]

Thank you very much, you're amazing. God bless you!

[@aenoypisay5539]

I need to end my marriage, I’m tired, my spouse having problems with spending $$$. But I’m too weak and scared 😟

[@SammifromMiami]

You said it, COMMUNICATION. I can't get my wife to communicate with me anymore. We are in a long term sexless marriage. Since she doesn't want to communicate and fix things I'm done. Filing for divorce.

[@isaacevans9189]

Sorry for your loss.

[@SammifromMiami]

@@isaacevans9189 no worries. I feel she has been lying to me. I’ve seen too many videos and read too many articles about hormone replacement therapy for her menopause. She tells me her doctor said it doesn’t work. I’ve not been in her appointments. If I try to discuss she shuts me down. Too bad so sad for her. It’s not important to her, so it’s no longer important to me. Sayonara to 42 years!

[@user-ok6xe7ld9c]

Is gas lighting considered abuse? Making someone feel less than and crazy considered abuse? .. yes there are beautiful moments however I’m in between these emotions.. I feel my husband does not care about my feelings.. any advise is welcomed 🖤 pls @me so I see it

[@refiloeseretlo5678]

This video is click-baity, there’s probably people in really terrible situations who are really vulnerable who want genuine advice & you’re just using them making sales for your company selling hope.

[@MarriageHelper]

We have over 1,000 free videos on our KZbin channel chalked full of empirically based research! Making money is the last thing we care about. We truly want to help save marriages and strengthen families. However, we also have to keep the lights on in our houses and the houses of our Marriage Helper team. But if you are needing help and can not afford some of the resources, please consider asking about our scholarships! We may be able to help you! Blessings friend,

[@desertdweller9548]

​@@MarriageHelper you're just wasting people's time and spamming in the comments. You have no shame.

[@s1n4m1n]

They are all part of the marriage industry, making a buck off of people.

[@theeaviatordreamer]

I want to do everything in my power to work and save/better our marriage

[@asafeplacepodcast2690]

What are your qualifications please?

[@georgecampbell9305]

If my premise is 'Restoring happiness" to myself, why should you incessantly push me back towards unhappiness? Your years of experience has wedded you to saving marriages "with exceptions". The near future is beckoning females and males to a new appraisal. Placing themselves as the Captains of their journey to their greater personal wellbeing. Guide and encourage them. Or you will one day be confronted with your irrelevance.

[@vickibourque2127]

My husband left, said he knew he made the right decision and would not come back. I decided to try to get spousal support and let him know that I was going to do that, then suddenly, my husband wants to come back and work things out. This is the second time that he runs instead of talking about how he felt but this time, he said he would not come back. I don't know if I can ever have peace with him and trust his word again. What if he just doesn't want to have to give spousal support and working it out was the less stressful option? I don't know what to do.

[@Ink30]

Run, men make decisions quickly he is coming back because of spouse support

[@justsomedude7287]

Wife had an affair, didn’t know me it when I found out. Had her move out and their relationship ended, got her to come back home to help her through her emotional despair, suicidal thoughts and severe depression. Things have calm and now I’m stuck whether if I want to continue this marriage or end it.

[@brianmeyer6926]

That sucks, man. I know we don't know each other, but I really feel for you reading your story. I hope things get better for you.

[@rickmckillip7382]

So what do you do then if they're in an affair and then fair is getting so serious that they're even thinking about setting the wedding date and she still ain't talking to you about anything is going on

[@melkerner]

When she absolutely refuses to give physical affection, for no good reason - just refuses. not a hygiene issue or bad technique, just withdrew and is happy to live life like this.

[@andreanabaruk5963]

This lady blabs in the beginning. She doesn't get into it until 2:35 in

[@desertdweller9548]

Yup. Pathetic

[@ladyoffaith2571]

My husband abandon me and move away with another woman, he telling people that I cheated on him but I did not cheat on him but the truth is he is one who is cheating on me with another woman , I still love my husband and I don’t want a divorce but he does, What shall I do and how long should I wait.

[@kimcastro2938]

26 yrs I have been faithful to my husband and I claim my faults. He's done the worst possible to me but I stood by him no matter what cause I love him. But one can't make a marriage. I feel like I've tried with all my heart it kills me to see it's so easy for him to walk away from 26 yrs. I've asked him to tell me the secret of how it's so easy for him? So I can stop hurting to. Maybe he's rt it's all my fault im in the wrong. He's got me so confused i don't no where to turn. I hate myself cause I feel maybe I cause it but I have racked my brain I can't figure it out. So i feel a divorce is my only option Im tired, beat down , drained mentally is there even hope or what? Thank you

[@danrunner84]

Correct. One can't make a marriage. I've been the one keeping it together for the last 20 years and now I'm done.

[@josephmadden52]

Married 16yrs, she files for divorce, and tells me I only have 1/2 the vote. In TN all you have to do is file.

[@myrandasharma948]

Thank you for this. This was very helpful.

[@miryamishot]

Every time things seem amazing he bullies me and says “you ruined my day” “no one wants to be around you” and f u too. For example… we went to Disneyland today and because I didn’t want to get on one ride he said I ruined his day but that’s why he didn’t want to come here and he can’t be around me, mind you I took care of our animals, made us breakfast, bought him a water, paid for parking, paid for the tickets, and pretty much made him feel special for the day. Pretty much we are toxic to each other.

[@MarriageHelper]

Hey Miryam Hernandez, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 [phone] and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!

[@johnsantos3392]

I'm fighting for my marriage now

[@TheMonish114]

when I click the link for mini videos it says videos does not exist

[@johnsantos3392]

Thanks so much

[@stevendgrissom1968]

I would like info sent to me for the workshop

[@markjohnson5684]

I have a TBI and our marriage is off the rails

[@ralfj.1740]

It can only work out if both partners are willing to make it work out again. If the spark or the trust or the love is gone completely, no amount of couples therapy can save the marriage.

[@serveothers14]

I guarantee you have never worked with or seen my marriage situation

[@scotturban54]

Interesting

[@pkizzle65]

Women always have the verbal abuse clause from the male. Yet nothing happens for the male counterpart and what they experience during those times. Women don't always have the best solution and that is obviously not what i am seeing. Men are "never" allowed to to have those options and it is frowned upon, yet we continue to get punished. This is why MEN don't have any interest in marrying again or if ever.

[@santiagofelix6228]

Thank you for giving me hope.

[@s1n4m1n]

It’s time to get a divorce when you start looking up videos on when is it time to get a divorce.

[@shimmershine3219]

when People say communicate communicate the whole reason we end up on this kind of videos is our partner don’t have ears will never like any kind of tough discussion they are fine as long as they arejust daily things

[@adamford4167]

I would love to have a tough discussion with a calm person. My problem is that it always escalates into some kind of confrontation.

[@user-zj5ml3yq7k]

when your wife’s says i’m done … ok by

[@elizabethzapata-cothran4014]

Good info, however intro. Too long. Get to the point. Frustrating,

[@jaspajones7045]

My wife has become so lame. Like an old hag. Never marry an older divorced woman.

[@arielletricarico7105]

The title to this video is misleading. Lol

[@user-zj5ml3yq7k]

women tell other women to leave !!! i lived it

[@soulmi6566]

What about a controlling freak husband?? Will someone like that change?

[@ryanbates7259]

Yes, change is possible. Have you seen this story? kzbin.info/www/bejne/fniQfZyvd9WUgpY

[@lenoreelio6216]

Some change when you decide to leave bc they realize the things they control aren't worth losing you

[@minksm3032]

Nope Control in so many forms...they do not change. Only gets worse

[@ryanbates7259]

@@minksm3032 Have you seen my story? kzbin.info/www/bejne/fniQfZyvd9WUgpY; change is possible

[@timbui5556]

Infomercial. Please get to the point "When is it time?"

[@bondservantx9881]

Can you be more dinitive on "words" of fear. As a man, anger and venting can be misconstrued, as a threat, or evasive. Women can say "things" as well. Because us men have the masculine, create the fear. I've known women who are just as verbal, yet do not pose a "threat." In court "here say" does hold weight. Masculinity is held against us. Feminity is par for the course. I've been on this end loosing because "he said". I believe people can change. Yet the courts.. don't believe in change. Verdicts/laws are built on said out comes...just sayn.

[@user-hn2xt7wi8o]

Comme vous pouvez et comme vous voulez à bien entendeur salut à toi

[@sandrasandra371]

What if a psychic told me to let my husband go because he doesn’t love me.

[@theanimationstation1574]

There no other way feel the energy in the sitatuion

[@brandchemist]

This is not advice. Its a commercial.

[@stormtrooper3381]

If ya dislike what you have then get out !!!! Pretty simple

[@Mcbevhills]

Women divorce whenever they feel like it. Men will wait and wait until the woman finally divorces him. Stop treating marriage like a game. It’s not. There are real life consequences to betrayal and disloyalties.

[@lenoreelio6216]

Most women divorce when they have been emotionally drained. That statement is so wrong. Its like saying Men take advantage advantage of women tll they can't stand it and expect them to stay when the men decide to value them. Not fair right. Each marriage is different.

[@Mcbevhills]

@@lenoreelio6216 so 70% of women are emotionally drained by men in marriage? Sounds like they need a little bit more discipline if that’s the case. My ex was twice divorced and had maybe 20 affairs while with me. I had no clue till the end….. had we been married she would have filed for divorce. lol.

[@janetmcfarlane2693]

Why do we get your CV at the beginning? How about jumping into the topic at hand.....oh....more CV....seriously> I am out of here.

[@regina80s]

Too much preaching your services

[@carolyndonald9926]

WHEN THEY CHEAT.

[@denisegriffin2094]

Is that plant dead/dying?🤔 LOL Distracting & thought provoking...

[@brianmeyer6926]

Getting major evangelical vibes from this video. The language raises some red flags for me. But who am I to knock it if it helps you? Also, I'm SO GLAD you exist, but that's not really a reason for people to stay together. Some people only exist because people divorced, didn't get back together, then had a kid with another person.

[@theanimationstation1574]

Ha ha you only see the good in some there are real life demons

[@zainazaina8711]

Hi my husband has an affair and we fighting everytine if I ask him bt I found da true from her sister he even get pregnant to dat woman ten he admit it's true and we ar two he Tel da first wife he doesn't wnt more children bt he pregrenated another third woman me am da second wife I hv one son I wnt da divorce bt da first wife he forgive him coz he was giving him oils nt to get pregnant for along time until now she has afibros she has to hv an operation bt dat is her decision for me am done he even talk to his mistress Infront of me wat do I wnt more he doesn't wnt to give me my divorce bt me am done I tnk God am working I can take care of my self and my son my son is 4yrs and three good yes I take care of him my self we work together and everytine he cry he wnt to do tis he wnt to do da bt now I don't ask him coz if u as anything about money he is looking for a fight

[@paradiseliving271]

This went no where

[@lmd3126]

Totally agree with you. That is why Jehovah God stated that revenge is His. I have always encouraged women to stay in their marriages despite the pain their husbands have done to them. And this is the basis " what God has yoked together let no man/woman put apart" meaning ONLY God holds the right to end a marriage In Malachi 2vs 16 Jehovah God has stated " For I hate divorce." This all means no matter what happens in your marriage not even the innocent party has the right to put apart what God has yoked together even though the man has done such evil against her. Women initiate divorces most times and they end up being alone for the rest of their lives because they have done what God hates and they end up being the ones punished the most when they take into their hands what they have no right to do. Then because the man has not divorced his wife even though he is the cause of the problems that led to his wife ending the marriage, he gets away with it by being blessed with another woman whilst the woman lives alone to death. I always advise women do not return evil for evil because you never know that the evil you return , you could pay severely for it. Divorce is the worst evil than adultery because it destroys generations as well. Hence, these women suffer the most. Our grandparents stayed in their marriages even though they faced what we face today. Pray for your husband before you pray for yourself so God can help him with wisdom. Maintain your integrity no matter what, it will get better in time. I know it. Allow for forgiveness. Nothing is unforgivable. Even murderers get pardoned

[@scania1982]

There is no god. Humans made religion and you are adherimg to a man-made fraud.

[@shellyhaney4837]

I do not agree with your comment! I have rather live alone until death than with an adulter.. my ex had an affair and got her pregnant. They have been married now many years. He cheats on her and they are not happy.

[@riks8269]

that doesn't tell to be unsafe, be in violant place. These verses says nothing about tolerating any kind of violance! So it's manipulation. You need to repent from manipulating with bible man. SO lisen all women/ men here's the truth: Bible and God won't accept any form of violence no mattrer how serious relationship you have. Get to safety ASAP! Period!

[@collierchristianacademy1853]

Is this resource Biblically-based and Christ-centered?

[@yvonnep.5194]

Yes, I believe so.

[@grant2149]

Its a sin to get divorced regardless of what, always work things out till death do us part... people get divorced to easily today. Many times regret sets in. Lawyers just see dollar signs. Fight for it.God hates divorce.Good info.🙏

[@chernagast6754]

God permits divorce in cases of fornication (sex before marriage), fraud (spouse was hiding serious issues that are revealed after the marriage has taken place), threat of harm, and and unbelieving spouse that wants to leave. While it God does hate divorce, even He set limits.

[@lenoreelio6216]

Till death do they part is ridiculous in a toxic abusive marriage. So if the spouse is beaten to death then they part. This mentality is sad.

[@grant2149]

You can see the bad comments are divorced people trying to justify it....

[@lengendaryny]

U talk way to much just get to it

[@desertdweller9548]

Prolly how she became an expert at getting divorced. Never said she knew how to keep a marriage. LOL

[@mgtow4women628]

You recommend divorce for verbal abuse? And you claim to be a biblical based service? Typical gyno thought. Pick up your bible, let me know where you find the Lord say Divorce is Right IN ANY situation? ANY????? Ill be waiting. "From the beginning it was not so"....."What I have joined let NO MAN separate"..........Seems clear to me.

[@bluemountain555]

Divorce is extremely bad and shameful no matter what the circumstances are as those who had to divorce are insincere in that they couldn't keep their marital vows also also showed extreme stupidity and idiocy to have married their bad spouses to begin with.

[@ayeshakadwa7317]

What a judgemental comment. You are probably a person who has never made a mistake,ever.

[@samanthamorgan8117]

15 min sales pitch

[@user-lk7xy8lb6w]

It is not time to get a divorce ... Just say im leaving ... But it is alwsys time to find something to eat instead of giving your money to spend it on divorcing just ask permisdion to leeve.. and spend your money on food...