When it's your first day working for P. Diddy

[@xiaowei1]

That script kind of wrote itself... the Amber alerts were a nice touch though...

[@JesterP3netrate]

what did the amber alert mean?

[@KlurressVODs]

@@JesterP3netrate kidnapped child. Extra fun fact, a girl named amber went missing and her parents got the government to make amber alert for kidnappings.

[@JesterP3netrate]

@@KlurressVODs oo

[@AhsimNreiziev]

Those are the best scripts, though.

[@neowolf09]

A nice touch indeed, I get so many amber alerts sometimes that part had me rolling 😂😂😂

[@Poussyeater-w5e]

"DO HIS PARENTS HATE HIM??" Yeah excellent question Zach, I was asking myself that

[@amell.5461]

His mother cared more about money and fame than him. She often talked about how young she was when she had him and how hard it was to be a single mother since his father wasn't much in the picture. That's why I'm pro-choice. Women shouldn't have kids unless they really want them and are responsible enough to protect them.

[@Poussyeater-w5e]

@@amell.5461 yeah you make a good point. Even if what she said was true, selling your child to Hollywood predators is just plain evil.

[@fatuusdottore]

Clearly.

[@fatuusdottore]

@@amell.5461She can close her legs and his dad could zip his pants. Murdering babies isn't the solution and that doesn't justify selling your own kid to a pdf WTF is wrong with you.

[@HangMrH]

@@amell.5461yeah I can respect the pro choice part but I think she definitely wants him to be born so she can either leech off the dad or she does what she does, selling her child for money

[@theseidlor]

750 questions, 3 amber alerts, and 1000 bottles of baby oil in one video? He spoils us so. Love the videos!!

[@jamescopeland6802]

i get an average of four amber alerts a day, very accurate.

[@theseidlor]

@@jamescopeland6802 have you made sure the car is not someone you know's?

[@Jek-2]

@@theseidlorthe words aren’t wording

[@Manliadon]

Now we need him to question the wife. Here is some legal evidence notes - Sloan's video 'Hailey Bieber was Justin Bieber's SUPERFAN and his stalker' + Haylo Hayley's vid 'This Is the Reason Why People Hate Hailey Bieber'

[@TRG_R17]

Reply 5

[@108kitsune]

This video works so well because Zach has resting why are we in the woods face

[@criticalrush7419]

@ZachStarHimself couldn’t have said it better myself

[@lordender_kitty_official]

That is my new favourite quote ever.

[@RyanD2558]

Classic RWAWITWF

[@eljefeamericano4308]

XD I didn't know that was even a thing, but now I'll never not see it.

[@JUSTREGULARSCREAMINGAAHH]

This is the best comment ever

[@RobVanDelay_WholeFnContest]

"I think i need an adult....thats not a rapper"😂😂😂

[@honeymustard8002]

I still say this 2 but when he said that's not a rapper I liked 2 pass out🤣

[@daniellemaroney2931]

He killed it in this video😅😂

[@keyboardking8008]

rapper and adult hardly ever go well together

"Jeffrey Epstein, but he's chocolate" 😂 you're killing me 😂

[@JohnOnChans]

Wait how is this 1 day ago when the video has been 10 minutes.

[@Xaitydoesstuff_new]

"0:09 cut just real quick okay I have four 0:15 questions question one why are we in the 0:19 woods are we going to Grandma's house is 0:23 that where people get 0:25 fingered question two can you repeat 0:29 what you just said I don't really I 0:32 don't have legal guardianship of him 0:33 yeah I thought those were the words you 0:35 said in that order okay um of all the 0:40 sentences you could 0:42 say why say that one cuz what in the red 0:47 flag [ __ ] does that mean you know and 0:51 then you said it would be for 48 hours 0:53 yeah I thought it was that number uh do 0:57 his parents hate hate him doesn't he 1:02 have class right 1:04 now question 1:06 three why is Justin Bieber here on top 1:11 of class doesn't he have puberty to get 1:15 through question 1:17 four why are we in the 1:21 woods okay let's continue and we going 1:24 to go full Buck full crazy cut okay I I 1:30 have 12 questions first why say those 1:36 words in that order sorry stupid Amber 1:41 Alert keeps going off so annoying I'm so 1:42 sorry um okay second question what does 1:47 Buck full mean did he can't be worse 1:51 than what I'm thinking ease my 1:54 mind question three why are we in the 1:58 woods 2:00 and same goes for questions 4 through 12 2:03 okay come on let's try to get one normal" got me dying! 🤣

[@LoveYourFamily-v9s]

@@JohnOnChansI believe they’re probably a member or part of patreon

[@AN-ht2bh]

Released earlier for members​@@JohnOnChans

[@PlayMakeReview]

@@JohnOnChans nah bro, what i'm asking is where's her tag like all it says is just "1 day ago"

[@isisatlantis3168]

Justin was such a happy kid. They took that from him.

[@Bailemos888]

Diddy sure wipe that smile off his face.

[@ApexImportExport]

@@Bailemos888 There will be a day that smirk on Diddy face will vanish...

[@zoorenard1101]

'' Of all the sentences you could say, why say that one '' Is a question people make me wonder every single day

[@ShadowReaper-pu2hx]

Bro is hanging out at the Diddy parties.

[@Phymaths]

Chris Hansen can appear in the woods but there is no seat for P. Diddy to take there

[@RogueFlash]

Unless there happens to be some tree stumps or logs nearby

[@someonerandom704]

at least Bieber has a seat

[@mycastephens4987]

Is Chris Hansen still a thing?

[@jackadams3878]

well, maybe there's a (jd delay voice) WOODCHIPPER.

[@michaelsmith2619]

But Chris Hansen is powerless if there's no seat for the suspect to take

[@dhruvrana3458]

Video idea : aliens abduct someone to understand our scientific prowess but its a flat earther

[@louisrobitaille5810]

And space denier on top of it.

[@brandonlove9012]

be hilarious seeing the flat earther accuse the aliens of being nasa/the goverment since the earth down there is a globe when its obviously a disc

[@dhruvrana3458]

@@louisrobitaille5810 hell yea!!!

[@Void100-v3x]

Oh yes please!!!

[@meraj5393]

​@@louisrobitaille5810I feel like flat earther and space denier would go hand in hand. Because if he wasn't space denier. He could just buy a telescope and see how Flat stuff is in space.

[@poodypooroo]

The looks Bieber is giving him are fucking heartbreaking

[@danielbass2895]

His parents totally pimped him out.

[@djbabidadi2545]

This was the time I noticed his face when Diddy said they were going to get into things they can't discuss. 😮

[@libera7161]

He looks so naive and innocent. I don't understand how people could hate or sexualise him back than. He was literally a baby!!!

[@daniellemaroney2931]

Well that does explain why Justin was going through bit of a rebellious phase and why he was fucking up people's property and starting fights with the paparazzi.

[@danielbass2895]

​@@daniellemaroney2931Exactly what I was thinking.

[@ih8tepeople]

Justin parents loved money more than their own child. That was a sacrifice ceremony, right there.

[@allaware1971]

realizing beibs was 13 through this makes it seem way more fucked up. remembering back to the days when they had videos of 4 goonish looking goons having him smoke marijuana makes it seem like something was actually done to him, and his adolescence was ruined.

[@orppranator5230]

Same thing with leonardo decaprio.

[@allaware1971]

@orppranator5230 Dicaprio never got face tattoos, tho.

[@jasongarfitt1147]

It does explain a few things about how he turned out

[@jj4774ns-te5px]

​@@orppranator5230what about him, please inform me, I don't know

[@akerovitalis3451]

I think kids in the western world at 13 are the "babies". Certainly not here in the global south like Kenya where I come from. Bieber seems in this vid to be a kid (that's not even 13, but appears 9). To put into perspective at 13 I carried luggages over 60kg on a bike, and we could climb a lane with that. However stressingly important, the world is full of predators like diddy and the best a parent can do is have their children *at their home*. Not some aunt, or some brother or somewhere far: It's the time a child needs their parent the most no matter what. Why? Because everyone likes children at that age; they're easy going, agreeable,less demanding, and can be twisted into becoming anything. But to sum it all up they're the best company for perverts and distressed adults as well. That's why aunts, uncles & other relatives likes you when you're a teen and not when you're grown up.

[@casualsender2316]

“CUT I have 12 questions” dead 😂

[@gloweye]

I used to kinda casually hate on Justin Bieber for the cringy songs, but now recently I feel kinda bad about having done that :/

[@DaTimmeh]

Songs are still cringy and he's a terrible person, but I do feel bad thinking about the things he potentially went through.

[@Poussyeater-w5e]

Yeah me too

[@Poussyeater-w5e]

​@@DaTimmehif he's a terrible person, he is probably BECAUSE of what he went through

[@dejus_e]

Oh wait that’s the real Justin Bieber

[@poodypooroo]

Turns out being molested by P Diddy doesn’t make you good at music, it just traumatizes you

[@VacantKey]

it's really hard to believe that this guy is an engineer. he could make a fortune as a stand up comedian. love your videos zach, never retire

[@sunsinger970]

very easy to believe. This is an electrical engineers sense of humor. Dumb people can't think of this shit, like the amber alert, that's a refined artistic choice right there.

[@spanishforyourfuture396]

Even comedy requires some intelligence, mix a smart mind with some sence of humor and you have pure gold! Zach's style is so unique!

[@trifortay]

Oh my god the amber alert I'm dying, this is why you're my favorite skit artist

[@traciw.6044]

His parents loved money and fame more than protecting their child. Parents just handed him to a predator on a silver platter, but hey you got to go shopping.

[@paristeutsch]

Amen.

[@yassinismail5756]

''WHY ARE WE IN THE WOODS'' poor Zack will be 90 and still be asking that question 🤣

[@Thelongestshrimp]

"Jeffrey epstein, but he's chocolate" *sigh* scrolls down to comments

[@ReianDardabella]

That was my first reaction

[@perisndirangu1280]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@karenm4322]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@MrScrofulous]

and gay.

[@KavinKrishnaswamy]

Now if diddy the diddler diddles little dudes, how many little dudes did diddy the diddler diddle?

[@theseidlor]

Diddy diddled little kiddies in the middle of italy

[@errwb404]

looks more like diddy diddled some kids by the deciduous

[@PretentiousPicklePickingPunk]

Did the Diddler Diddy Diddle some younguns with his Diddling Dipstick?

[@Tk-nf2xd]

Nope. In the woods

[@roidblitzed]

😂😂 that was great

[@kilppa]

Never thought I'd end up feeling bad for Justin Bieber.

[@SonOfTheDawn515]

I still don't. I'm experiencing schadenfreude now.

[@jaredrobinson7071]

"What in the red flag fuck" totally stealing this. Knew we were in for a treat when he didn't even get like two seconds in when we paused the video.

[@adamnetski7887]

Skit idea: When you are at the airport and the police dog is for some reason interested in your suitcase

[@michaelcarter3149]

Its ok, airport dogs aren't trained to search for cadavers.

[@-desertpackrat]

I was just smuggling those DAHMburgers because the airline food is so bad. (I hope someone gets that reference 😂)

[@adamnetski7887]

@@-desertpackrat i am sorry to say that I did not get the reference

[@ChromePyramid]

The faint sound of a police siren irl made this video even better I had no idea for half the video it was real

[@charleenk71]

As I read your comment, I could hear a faint sound of sirens irl. Kinda strange!! 😂

[@jackadams3878]

"i need an adult" "i am an adult"

[@Voltychu]

Is this a DBZA reference?

[@jackadams3878]

@@Voltychu *touches nose with index finger*

[@Ebizzill]

TF ftw!!

[@jackadams3878]

​​@@Ebizzillteam 3star! *Cracks neck*

[@JoeNerdShow]

Well fuck..

[@barthes17]

"Do his parents hate him" Nah that's just premeditated neglect.

[@TexMeta]

Why did nobody think that was sus back then? I mean, really.

[@poodypooroo]

Honest answer is because the only way this would get disseminated around the country at the time was if mainstream media outlets cared , and they don’t. Shit, look what happened to Chris Hansen the first time he went after a cop. Guy pretty much got blacklisted when that assistant DA ended himself and all of a sudden is facing charges for tax fraud. The internet has caused a lot of chaos but it’s also taken control of information away from a few corporately owned news organizations, which has exposed a LOT of terrible behavior by the people that money was protecting. Child actors and singers in general are expected to be passed around to have even a chance at making it onto a major show, and then they have to get lucky with the show itself being good. Let’s be honest, Diddy was probably also molested when he was Beiber’s age. It’s a horrid cycle.

[@therealbfunke]

Everyone knew, but celebrities protect each other, plus blackmail helps

[@alissaferge2775]

Should really ask why do they care now

[@Gaming_Antics]

Because Hollywood and the Music industry are run by scumbags.

[@freespeech3817]

You relized just now that entire Hollywood and every usa politican is excused when they are involved with such suspect actions? From time to time they throw somebody as a "sacriface" to make the illusion that everything is all good. This is not the first case of a big child trafficker that "collects" them to deliver them for people like this girl sniffer murican president that currently reside in white pedo house.

[@KaleDarville]

i like the idea that the amber alerts get more frequent as you get closer to the missing kid like a metal detector

[@fashionsprophet]

“But he’s chocolate” has me in TEARS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@thebenforever]

What, in the red flag fuck, does that mean? Dude. Solid gold. Added to my lexicon. I love the say-it-slowly-so-there's-no-misunderstanding method.

[@yofwill]

Oh man. This video was long overdue. The fact that nobody saw this coming with the Diddler, is beyond shocking!

[@Therivernymphs]

The amber alert kept getting me. Like why does it keep going off, there are two adults with no parental supervision with a child, maybe it’s for someone else.

[@arandomstreetcat]

its a real thunker that one

[@Justanothermidgamer]

It gotta be for bieber😂

[@therealmanicjay3819]

"Fucking cut" and "I think I need a adult, that's not a rapper" Priceless.

[@FrauWilhelmKlink]

The repeated "Why are we in the woods?" with more and more intensity took me out😂

[@bah6454]

0:11 wow even the camera man knows the baby oil

[@maryfreebed9886]

I'm wondering how many people got poisoned and didn't get back up from that. Isn't it easy to overdose someone on that?

[@ChrizzeeB]

I feel sad for that kid. Justin Bieber is a celebrity, but there he's just 13 and innocent and vulnerable af. No kid ever deserves shock, abuse and disappointment that way

[@DXDragon38]

Truly, you gotta feel bad for Justin

[@Ted_II]

The only person i know who can take really dark shit and make it still funny

[@DarthShadie]

"On top of class, doesn't he have ouberty to get through?"

[@lazyhuman9724]

Take that, take that, take that!”Diddy said, pointing to the baby oil section of an alleged Costco.

[@Y.T.STachi]

the fact Costco themselves had to come out and deny they sell baby is wild

[@kilometerzmoralez2024]

No joke, this guy should most definitely get more recognition of his stuff, one of the funniest youtubers i know

[@jamie_leigh]

"WHY ARE WE IN THE WOODS?!" 😂

[@btxnitro]

"Why are we in the woods?!" Hahahahaha!

[@JungleJuliaDP]

"I'm here with Jeffrey Epstein, but he's chocolate," is a wild af, out of pocket ass line, and I have been replaying/cackling/crying at it for at least 5 minutes. 😂

[@Gaming_Antics]

P Diddy, diddy over 3,000 victims, many of whom were kids. A big law firm recently announced that they took in 60 cases out of the many many cases filed against Diddy and out of the 60 cases, 25 of those cases are from clients that say they were raped by Diddy when they were minors.

[@matfax]

Of all the cases that happened so far, I reject to believe that nobody noticed. No, they must have wilfully ignored it. So, J. Epstein is a valid comparison.

[@vernonwilliford2480]

That’s horrible. More horrible that the feds knew for a long time. Makes you wonder why they’ve decided to pursue this now.

[@Misfit_Potato]

Justin Bieber caught me off guard lmao

[@PretentiousPicklePickingPunk]

"Punked by pedophiles" is insane 😂😂😂😂

[@rosella5358]

The poor kid was exploited and monetized.

[@Hakumeiun]

Contemptuous Zach asking questions should be a soundboard

[@Toliman.]

It's not the woods, it's the driveway of a rather large hollywood hills estate, which you see later in the video. As for why ... it was the late 90s/2000s. Nobody alive asked those questions. The record label agents just handed him over to whomever was famous because they weren't guardians.

[@fredalwatkins4506]

Finger. You'd only wish it was just a finger.

[@zenmoto369]

Jeffrey Epstein, but he's chocolate 🤣🤣🤣

[@nightcorejamms2822]

How did no one think this was sus?!?!?

[@JamaicanRain]

It was a different time. A lot of things have changed in society.

[@EchoObserver9]

@@JamaicanRain That is no excuse IN ANY TIME IN HISTORY. Not when Mohammed fucked Aisha not now... As for the answer to that question. Many ppl did. They died. Got their cars bombed. 50 cent got shit ALOT but was a gigachad and kept calling him out. But diddy was smart and did the mr beast thing and gathered equally fed up individuals around him and killed those who did not comply... Bribery,Intellect and lack of morals can allow one to get away with alot of evil.

[@MrAw3sum]

​@@JamaicanRain i think even at that time parents wouldntve left their children with a man saying theyre gonna do undisclosed things in the woods

[@VancityMerc319]

I love getting notifications for all the videos and seeing the crazy titles😂

[@ctpaul1261]

So the question is... Diddy? Or Didn't he?

[@LolSho0orTs]

Or did he not would been better 😂

[@OGJahune]

@@LolSho0orTs I suppose you didn't get the memo from Em...

[@spongebobmiscellaneous]

Diddy or diddy not?

[@AceFaz]

Y-ddid.

[@Drgbettle]

“1 000 what? For the what offs?” That killed me😭😭

[@origami6]

Amber alert had me in tears. Zach has truly made one of the best comedy channels on KZbin.

[@sumterlb]

"Why are we in the woods?" 😂😂😂

[@MariePriss]

Poor Justin :( Awwh poor baby, the innocence in his eyes and smile.

[@seelogic9845]

"We're gonna need an adult here, someone who isn't a rapper.." 😂

[@DellikkilleD]

"Sometimes, ya gotta tell Diddy 'No!'"

[@danielperez143]

The look on Justin's face says it all 😨

[@reneeeli8645]

My skin crawls for everyone who met this guy... I literally feel sick.

[@cody3504]

Every time I hear an Amber Alert I always look over my shoulder to make sure it's not Amber Heard

[@ShadowReaper-pu2hx]

Good thing I didn’t watch this in public because I’d look like Joker laughing at my phone.

[@Zoelyfe]

Looks like the poor innocent kid didn't know what he had gotten himself into

[@izzyjones662]

The amber alert killed me! 😂

[@jokerdony]

Someone seriously told me they didn't see any red flags with this video that Diddy did. 😂

[@Misstiamaria]

All very good questions

[@dominikakratochvil860]

“No, but I saw Blair Witch Project” 😂

[@LI8A__noir]

I hollered when he said that 😂

[@isolatedtrader5482]

The Amber alert was a paid actor.

[@amandaeubank425]

I haven’t gotten a notification from your channel in like a YEAR! Glad you’re back!

[@bruhnish598]

"i have 4 questions" *proceeds to ask a million questions*

[@Idk_Shinobu]

“Why are we in the woods? Is this the way to grandma’s house?” I’m rolling 🤣😭

[@daniellemaroney2931]

More like the big bad wolf that will huff and puff your house made out of baby oil bottles down.😅

[@Idk_Shinobu]

@@daniellemaroney2931 NAHHH 😭

[@jms7726]

Fuggin cut!

[@YourLocalNobody420]

The way he's asking his questions is GOLD

[@Zer0ne-Infinite]

Why Justin look scared like that 2:12

[@francescacaroli4609]

"I think an adult who's not a rapper😅 do we have one of those?😅" Great line lol

[@AP-nj1mr]

I will settle for just one question.:"WHY ARE WE IN THE WOODS?"

[@Ly_Lord]

2:37 Justin: "I need an adult" Diddy: "I am an adult" *insert creepy Vegeta frame*

[@savedbygrace480]

I'm more surprised that the camera man got out of the wood alive, after asking so many questions...

[@missmike3693]

Justice for Justin. I feel so sorry for him. No one protected him. They all abused him. I hope they pay with everything that's important to them.

[@flamingphoenix1425]

If Diddy did diddle dudes, how many dudes did diddy diddle?

[@permacoo3760]

Lmao nice

[@Velociraptorhunter]

a Fiddily Diteldy didton of didelipeopel

[@wuberkz1692]

@@Velociraptorhunter me after being diddled by diddy

[@youtubestudiosucks978]

Half of america

[@kimberlyhuggins-simkus3229]

😂😂😂😂😂😅😅 " why are we in the woods"?

[@theipat2951]

"Stupid amber alert" ngl that joke got me laughing. I wouldn't be surprised if the amber alert was about Beiber getting kidnapped by Diddy

[@xchoochoopainx]

this is the guy that helped me thru my upper level math classes

[@antonionnam6594]

How did those words come out of his mouth on TV though!? Did he not know he was live on camera!?💀

[@poodypooroo]

Well think about this having been in front of a live camera and it’s taken until now for anything to happen

[@fireflymiesumae]

He's so comfortable and thought he was untouchable.

[@DH-xw6jp]

​@@fireflymiesumaebecause he was, for nearly 30 years.

[@Raidsage]

“I’m sorry amber alert going crazy”

[@honeymustard8002]

"What does buck full mean? Cant b worse than im thinking. Easy my mind Diddy"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@eyesonthepiescc]

"Why are wein the woods?" Where was Chris Hanson all these years?

[@Mr_Fluffy_Paws]

"Im here with Jeffrey Epstein, but he's chocolate?" 😂😂😂😂

[@thundergunner4284]

Justin GENUINELY looks scared lmao

[@cfree5499]

Damnit!!! You made me spit out my wine!! 1:28

[@Kozie211]

😂😂😂

[@geminiaxelrod4592]

"Can we cut?" 😂😂😂😂

[@TaurielTheElf]

Until I checked the comments, I thought the Amber Alerts were somehow related to Amber Hart. You know the world is fucked up when I didn't even stop to think about it or question it.

[@mrfarax4944]

The amber alert is genius 😂😂😂

[@maricrisonil7324]

JUSTIN BIEBER'S PARENTS SHOULD BE QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS, because he is a MINOR when that happened!!

[@globalrider9700]

Not often do I have to pause a video so I stop cackling like a hyena in a flying J. That was good

[@chen-beixuan]

1st amber alert: oh wow he must've left a blooper in 2nd amber alert: *brain clicks* oh my god 💀