When The Dumper Regrets The Breakup

[@jclau77]

I'd rather not pine around this question as this can easily give you false hope! But then again, it's you who gives yourself false hope! Just keep the mindset that they're gone forever, and they're never coming back.

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Agreed! 👍

[@annnee6818]

I used the idea that they might come back as a crutch so I could stand them not being there till I didn't need the crutch anymore...

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

I call that having a relationship with your breakup. I’m writing a book on it which is nearly finished.

[@SphiweMotsoene]

I wasn't showing up correctly and she deserves better. I'm currently working on myself, mentally, spiritually, and physically. I'm being a better person for my Kids. I have good days and bad days, yet we soldier on. I wish Her nothing but the best.

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Good luck, buddy. Stay strong. 😊😊💪💪

[@Kyleforthe3SIKE]

ah, the self blame stage. sorry man, your vision will shake clear in a few months. you ALSO deserved better.

[@dtnv7324]

she dumped my ass on december first and we went no contact. today she wished me happy birthday but thats it😂 like leave me alone bro???

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

I hear you. Just say “thanks. I hope you’re well”

[@DonkKong72]

I can almost mirror this😂. She dumped me November 27th, wished me happy birthday at 12:01 am (day after my birthday) last week with a “happy late bday”. Can’t make this shiii up.

[@dtnv7324]

@@TheLoveFix-NickI just said thanks, her well-being is non of my business anymore

[@pnb1131]

Been over 4 months NC, was thinking about reaching out to her. But idk

[@nicolerogers1310]

​@pnb1131 plsss don't! It'll boost her ego n it'll go nowhere...

[@norswil8763]

There’s also that added hurdle of the law of consistency, they’ve told family and friends it’s over and separated your lives - even if they feel regret and want you back pride and a feeling of “laying in the bed they made” might stop them. I have a feeling my ex(a month in) is feeling regret, pain and loss at least, but maybe a bit of “well I’ve done it now.” She left because she didn’t think I could sort out some mental health crap, I pretty quickly did, just as she dropped me and snuck out the back door. “Every ex would like you to win them back… they just don’t think you can.” I think i’m going to try, but I don’t know, she fucking bailed when things got rocky, I can’t blame her but still, wait and see if the man you love can rise again when you see the work he’s putting in!

[@alexardon91]

Great video Nick, im focus on my own recovery, still working on my self improvement.

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Keep going buddy. It will pay off.

[@flat4wankel]

3 months in with my ex now gf again. I miss being single lol dunno whats gonna happen but im happy you’re still updating on your vids nick. Your vids were my savior. Listened to them literally 24/7 i was in hell! Your vids helped a lot so i thank you for that and our one time coaching i love you man, thank you for helping the community.

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Glad it’s going well man. 😊

[@Growwithgrace101]

I never understood why he broke up. Everything seemed great, no arguments or obvious difficulties l. Almost 3 years and he blindsided me saying he realised I looked and sound like his ex and he didn't love me anymore! He had not long lost his dad and had been very close to me prior then suddenly it all changed. He hasn't been in touch. 7 months NC and I am working hard not to take it personally and improve myself.

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

That’s heartbreaking and I’m sorry to hear that. Fortunately, we’re not required to understand anyone else, only ourselves.

[@T-dawg87]

She left me on the 19th of December telling me it was the best relationship she’s ever had and it was great we were so in tune to each other but she needed space and to be free, we were still talking and doing the good stuff till 11th of Feb when she just blocked me on everything and stopped talking out the blue 😢 turns out she jumped into a rebound and stopped speaking to me. I miss her so much she will always be my person

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

That’s brutal man. I’m sorry to hear that. I suspect she had that rebound lined up in December and was playing both sides, until she felt safe enough to leave. Use this time to heal and focus on yourself. She’s shown you exactly who she is. Believe her! I hope you feel better. 🫂

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

OUCH OUCH OUCH Literally I am there on the dates December 19, 2014 was our first date and met It was absolutely Great December 19, 2023 ... went to court house to file divorce papers Never wanted this divorce Had to go to her house to get some things She came to the door smoking a cigarette and dressed " to the nines " and wearing perfume smelling like " screw my brains out " Ink was not even dry yet Take care and Take your time and You will be able to find Yourself ✨️

[@Rb79_85]

6 months post BU here. Sometimes he says hello at work, other times he blanks me and runs away. Very confusing and it’s hurtful. He clearly doesn’t regret a thing despite telling me I was an amazing girlfriend for 4 years. I’m so confused

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Nothing to be confused about here, my friend. He’s not in a relationship with you. There’s nothing confusing about that. To move forward and recover, we must surrender to the truth of their actions and the situation. I hope you feel better. 🫂

[@pdubs1408]

Ill share mine. Being the dumpee. Think this is a emotional reaction of an avoidant who got scared and ran. Admitted to weighing the option of breaking up a week before doing so. Explained how she felt, needed her space to better understand her self and focus on her self etc... Treated her better than she deserved etc. I Gave her the space with out a beg or plea. After dumping still said "i dont want to be of eachothers lives" be friends etc... never blocked and methods of contact. Just told her if she wants to hear from me again she has to reach out. 7 year LDR out the window, probability becuase the plans of marriage and next steps were becoming reality.

[@Teejaywrld]

Damn man also going through a 3.5yr ldr she left. How you holding up man?

[@pdubs1408]

@Teejaywrld well that's nice to ask. This about 5 months now of not a word from her. I'd say honestly I'm making sure I push things in a positive direction. Therapy has helped immensely. Taken personal trips to stay outdoors etc. It's a slow and steady process. The key like anything else is consistency in self improvement.

[@Teejaywrld]

@@pdubs1408 thats nice to hear. Atleast you are working on bettering yourself im sure you will come out of this stronger than ever before . Im at the beginning of my journey and im learning to come clear with being alone without the thoughts of her being there

[@Teejaywrld]

@@pdubs1408 thanks alot for your comment! Thats beautiful and il sure to take this advice to heart

[@guitarsphysics]

What if they monkey branched after being with you for 21 years? She was very affectionate and intimate all the way up to 5 minutes before she packed a bag of clothes and left. That was 5 months ago, all of her possessions from her entire life are still here in our home. Im trying to get over this but i think it may take me years. Is it normal to have zero interest in dating again after something like this?

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

That’s rough and heartbreaking and I’m sorry to hear that. It will take time so be kind to yourself. Monkey branching is emotional cheating, so treat her as a cheater and act accordingly, my friend.

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Dating will probably make it worse at this point. Take your time.

[@Ivy89261]

Something similar happened to me too. He is monkey branched after 7 years. I already had that feeling but we were on vacation 3 weeks before and had a lot of fun. To this day I have no idea and I also think that he won't come back after one year although I still hope. I also have no desire for other men and can't imagine a relationship with anyone else

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

That’s rough. Stay single and radically focus on yourself. 😊

[@guitarsphysics]

​@@Ivy89261I feel the same as you, can't imagine myself with anyone else yet and honestly don't know if I ever will. Part of me still has hope that she will try and come back home one day as we had a great life and future together. We were supposed to be building our dream home this summer together but now I'm just going to stay in our current home. It's so confusing as to why they leave when everything in the relationship seemed perfect, our friends and families are just as confused and hurt as I am. Hope you keep healing and working on yourself too 🙏

[@RakeemDixon]

My girlfriend still speaks to my mum. They message every day. It’s only been a week since she left me

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

That’s rough man. Stay well out of it. Give your ex the gift of your silence unless she reaches out to you.

[@treasureandasong]

She probably loved her too. So there's sometimes more than the one relationship to grieve. That is something to consider as well. Breakups suck for everyone, its not exclusive to the couple.. but listen to Nick though for you to heal.

[@fayselelouah6668]

She left relationship i went mo contact 70 days she came back to breadcrumb me i thought she came back to fix things .. so i went to no contact again

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

I think you made that correct decision.

[@user-uh9ut7uu9c]

My ex tried to ring me one night around Christmas. Then she texted me the next day saying “hi are you ignoring me?” I replied to that and then she never replied. That’s the last I heard of her.

[@user-uh9ut7uu9c]

Why do you think people do this?

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Because that’s who they are. However, unless they come back, what does it matter? It changes nothing.

[@user-uh9ut7uu9c]

@@TheLoveFix-Nick feels like she just messaged me to see if I would reply. Then when I reply that eases her anxiety and she doesn’t bother talking to me then.

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

That’s probably true buddy, so say yo her please only message me if you want to reconcile.

[@user-uh9ut7uu9c]

@@TheLoveFix-Nick she will probably only message me when she finishes with her current man. Only happy when she has a man in her life

[@Threesixtyci]

year? try weeks.... conversations? there wasn't one. if she does have doubts... she's gonna have to figure it out herself. watch? i'm not watching.

[@joejohn4935]

My ex told her friend a couple weeks after the break up that she misses me but even if i do get better we could never get back together but part of her thinks it could work eventually even though she knows its better to be apart. This was 3 months ago and ive been blocked since day one... any idea??

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

Buddy, you can only go by the truth of her actions. Actions never lie and words don’t mean shit.

[@geoffcooper617]

Its confusing after she dumped me she went mad when i deleted stuff off social media and asked to be friends, i declined the offer and she said "fine" She hates pics of herself but yesterday she put a pic of herself on her fb profile first time ever, ( i cant see the rest as not ftiends on fb) its very confusing

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

It’s only confusing when we don’t accept the radical truth of their actions. Her actions are telling you everything. Nothing to be confused about. 😊

[@geoffcooper617]

I guess i thought she might be trying to get my attention or make me jealous, she looked stunning and she never puts public pics of her, normally i cant see any of her fb, shes also kept our song on her profile, maybe I'm trying to make it more than it is ​@@TheLoveFix-Nick

[@geoffcooper617]

Not sure what her actions mean??​@@TheLoveFix-Nick

[@malice2846]

I'm no contact it's 2 months since she ended things. She went back to her shitty husband her treats her like shit. She said she's gonna work on her marriage long term. That what would she be if she didnt try?

[@TheLoveFix-Nick]

That’s rough man, but shes made her choice. Her choice isn’t about you, it’s about her. All you can do is accept the truth of the situation and use this as an opportunity to improve and move on to someone better.

[@Sockem1223]

That's what you get for messing with another man's woman