When Wives Are Breadwinners: Ruth Osime, O. Majekodunmi-Oniru, Lanre Olusola, Ibukun Awosika

[@olayorigabriel4644]

Mrs Ibikun Awosika is a bundle of wisdom. These are the type of women who should mentor young women. I dove my hat.

[@estherobazee791]

She have been my mentor . Thank you ma for been a true role model

[@firstbazemmet6813]

Thank you AriseNews for this episode of Perspectives. Your special guests Lanre Olusola and Ibukun Awosika clearly, are experienced and intelligent leaders with excellent listening skills. They were both slow to speak and only spoke when invited to do so. They seem to echo each others script on the topic. I commend the presenters for this episode. Between Oniru and Osime, there is a lot to be gleaned. The quiet unassuming Oniru, brings calm to the course of the conversation and gently prompts her co-presenter to let others come in. Osime is clearly enthused by the topic and perhaps playing the 'devils advocate' which somehow comes across as ill-judged at times. Osime could harness her skills and be more effective by improving her listening and be less animated which tends to lend to mixing up words in excitement. I am definitely sharing this content with my loved ones and friends.

[@SamuelJonathan]

Typically, I would not comment publicly about the performance of a TV host, anchor, presenter, etc. However, as a Public Speaking Coach who has coached a few world leaders and broadcasters, I feel it is important to share this observation, especially for aspiring presenters, co-hosts, etc. Whenever you are co-presenting a TV or radio show, you must make intentional, conscientious efforts to allow your colleague to fully and actively contribute to the show. You cannot "hug" the show to yourself, neither can you be the only one asking the guest(s) questions. This advice will be readily embraced by individuals who are selfless, considerate and intentional about valuing others. Even if you are given the title or position, "Lead Host" or "Lead Presenter", always remember that the position does not make the person. The person makes the position. Your "person" will be more tangible (to those you work with) than your title. Make intentional efforts to involve your co-host, co-presenter, colleague and you will enhance the value show. Moreover, you (yourself) will enjoy the show the more!

[@osanapoleon22]

God bless you.

[@chiorazu8047]

Its weird how all men are the one having issues with the TV host....i am on the opinion that she did a fabulous job in wanting the host to speak about solution to REAL ISSUES....it is already established that over 90% of people did not get it right before marriage, so now WHAT IS THE SOLUTION TO THE CURRENT ISSUE. This is what the presenter is asking but the host keeps taking it back to courtship and what not!....Speak about how a women should Navigate her Position as the bread winner in a marriage that is on the brim of divorce because of lack of money.

[@adelajasoobowale5907]

Good observation

[@seunolugbemi6394]

Exactly my thoughts sir, she almost completely relegated her co-host to the background. And she couldn't be respectful enough to address them by their initials rather than calling them by their first names. Theses people are high flyers in their society. That's the least respect she can give to them

[@seunolugbemi6394]

​@@chiorazu8047@samueljonathan isn't questioning the quality of the discussion. The lead presenter did ask relevant questions but she did not carry her co-presenter along throughout the show.

[@faithadegor8364]

Thank you Mummy Ibukun and Lanre. All couple should watch this. ACHIEVE MORE

[@humphreyigbokwe6809]

God bless you Oniru, your wisdom is uncommon

[@osanapoleon22]

Understand each other is a major role in marriage. And also know who you’re getting married to before marriage.

[@faithadegor8364]

Why is Ruth not allowing Oniru to speak ¿ ACHIEVE MORE

[@anuoluwapoodunuga1017]

Very amazing guests to talk about the topic. So much wisdom.

[@ia6145]

It shows that two guest are very knowledgeable and exposed.

[@ezinneerhirhieneeukaogo1439]

Google them

[@adigunoluwaseun2722]

Pastor Ibukun is full of wisdom. I like the fact that both guests are in sync.

[@emmaodurukwe7825]

The two guests Mr Lanre Olusola and Pst.Mrs Ibukun Awosika are very resourceful, I wish a lot of women who are today their family breadwinners should listen to the words of wisdom coming from Mrs.Awosika as regards keep honouring/respecting their husbands when they become their families breadwinners, a lot of men lost their dignity as the heads of the family when their wives become breadwinners.

[@ifeifesi]

The lady in green sounds as if she is married to a good man and not your average Nigerian man. Marriage is a partnership and a woman choosing a good man to start of with is critical. As it is, most women in Nigeria prioritise getting married above getting married to a decent man they are compatible with.

[@nadirichi]

It's both ways. She married her good self to some good man. Her goodness/ wisdom allowed the goodness in her man to thrive. There's good in all of us, it's about choosing the right partner who will let that good thrive.

[@ifeifesi]

@@nadirichi Picking the right person is key and unfortunately, most Nigerian men are not trained for marriage unlike women. With many men there is little goodness in them that a good woman can bring out even if that were her role.

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

Thank you Mrs. Ibukun Awosika. Women should be taught to vet their partner thoroughly.

[@anthonyokeke8564]

Madam with green attire God will bless you for the respect you have for husband's. You are real mother and wife. God will continue to bless your family. The moderator is biased with men so she needs counseling.

[@ifeifesi]

The moderator challenges the status quo and doesn't pander to the ego of weak men who feel threatened at a woman earning money

[@chidinmakalu1191]

Can i like this more than once. Thank you ma.

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

Ruth Osime calm down na. Let the guest speak. Let him land. Its clear you're prejudiced. Therapy could help you out.

[@timilehinkolade5088]

Exactly. She needs to calm down.

[@markenyo8987]

Interesting discussion, so timely

[@babatundekumolu-johnsoneiw8442]

Respect, pastor Ibukun Awosika.

[@mimianon9025]

This was me our first few years after relocating as I started making six figure in $ while he was barely making half of my income but I encouraged my ambitious husband over the next few years and now we are at par because I knew he would not be happy with the structure long term. We are 30 years in and have known each other for 33 years.

[@ikennamgbeoji9634]

When a man is a bread winner... He's doing what he's supposed to do... But when a woman buys food that she'll eat and pays rent for a house she lives in... She's a heroine!

[@chiorazu8047]

you are igbo man stop wanting to be treated like a woman

[@bidemiolajide3720]

Hmmm…

[@faithadegor8364]

Lol Many women get angry feeding themselves and her own kids. But no problems when the husband is no more. ACHIEVE MORE

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

My brother 😂. Maybe I should take on female traditional role. I want to be a hero. Let me go and sow Spiderman costume. I'm coming 🏃🏾

[@Ignite2Transform]

"Who is the right fit"- BINGO!!!!! This was very insightful. Thank you.

[@Mrs-gf9yk]

We missed so much wisdom from the guests because the host kept interrupting the guests.

[@TGGTheGloryofGod]

The man and the woman make it happen. Amen.

[@omakwentua4533]

Pls allow co host speak.

[@jaredralph1609]

Ruth Osime in my opinion sounds biased most times when she tries to deliberate and she acts selfish, not allowing others' deliberation flow

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

Thank you bro. Any small thing she go dey talk drive like say na motor 😂

[@samsonoyebanji2358]

This is a balance presentation

[@SchoolOfPremiumWisdom]

Ruth Osime should have been a guest on her show and not the presenter who also is arguing with her guest repeatedly. And mind you, she kept trying to shove Oniru over and over like "what do you have to say." It's a conversation, or better still, get guests with opposing views that will create a balance instead. Example is like bringing an APC and LABOR PARTY members to the room to talk on a given subject, it will create that energy needed. But don't bring guests who share similar views as a presenter and then choose to become the opposition. It doesn't communicate well that way. Thank you

[@seunolugbemi6394]

Well said sir. Thank you

[@DNTWOK]

Great discussion and thanks to Mrs. Awosika and Dr. Oluwole for these nuggets. My observation and absolute correction is to Ruth Osime, I know that there is liberty to address people by their first name but we are Nigerians and respect and honor is something we hold dearly. These people have a prefix to their names. Mrs Awosika has Mrs., pastor to her name and Dr. Oluwole has Mr. and Dr. to his name. At least you can make use of one instead of repeatedly and comfortably calling them by their first name all in the name of presentation. Also, you have a co- presenter, you should learn to give room for her to ask questions and make contributions. And stop interrupting guests too much. I rest my case.

[@TroverTube]

Also, In some spaces within Nigeria, the rule is to address people by their first names. Maybe it's same there and they consented. The guests are not complaining though

[@humphreyigbokwe6809]

Ruth, i am sorry it will be difficult for you told a home with this mind set!!! Is not all about money my dear sister!!!

[@ElPose1]

There seem to be a form of rigid & preconceived mindset and wrong orientation with Ruth.

[@chiorazu8047]

Team-work, when it is money.....gender-role when it is house chores, cooking, going to market, raising children, going to pta meetings.....NIGERIAN MARRIAGE...dearest Nigerian men and women , everyone wants to be respected, loved and honoured regardless of their gender.

[@ikennamgbeoji9634]

Men wouldn't mind doing house chores if women would stop saying things like "your money is our money, my money is my money"... If a woman is willing to bring in as much as the man is bringing in financially, why not... The man will do equal share of the chores

[@chiorazu8047]

@@ikennamgbeoji9634 it can never be equal because we live in a man's world. When women speak up on things like these, men shame them by calling them feminist but u never hear anyone call men, masculenist..... If she doesnt do chores, the inlaws will call her a lazy woman and if the inlaws see u doing chores, they will label her a bad woman....it can never be equal as long as she pushes out a baby, it can never be equal!....Men should provide 100% and stop complaining, Women should take care of the home 100% and stop complaining.

[@Ignite2Transform]

Thank you o!

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

She said something "you know that she's pulling her weight, but you don't want her to have a say when it comes to major decisions". Well, Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo were the best players at Man Utd and Barcelona at a point in their career. They definitely improved those club's finances. But they were not always the "captains" of those teams because they brought more revenue. Leadership is beyond money. Women should have a say in their homes whether or not she makes money. Her opinion should be taken into consideration. But there has to be one decision maker. Ine captain on the ship. There is a pilot and co-pilot.

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

Everything Ruth Osime is saying is just about the money. Whether she calls it drive, ambition, handling responsibilities. Its just a money argument for her. See, i ask again, if you feel you can't submit or respect a man because he's broke, should he treat his wife bad when she's broke? I don't see anywhere Ruth Osime considered that the women could get broke. Like if a woman makes money now, its gonna be like that forever. Emotional argument are always on shaky foundations

[@michaelolajuwon]

One doesn’t have to be a prophet or a witch doctor to know that Ruth is not married, not ready to be married, and if married will soon divorce because she has the psyche of a culture dissatisfied person, or a disappointed and unhappy frustrated feminist who discusses from the prism of such personality.

[@funtimepaul8920]

This is an interesting topic. I would wish to add this feedback. Ruth the presenter seems a bit too emotional about this topic, she barely allowed the other presenter to air her view at the start of this broadcast. Pls Ruth, learn to listen more.

[@chiorazu8047]

no, i disagree with u...she was throwing realistic scenarios that are happening in our world

[@TGGTheGloryofGod]

No sir/Ma, this is part of Ruth's expertise professional. She did a good job.

[@SchoolOfPremiumWisdom]

​@@chiorazu8047then she should have been a guest on her show and not the presenter who also is arguing with her guest repeatedly. And mind you, she kept trying to shove Oniru over and over like "what do you have to say." It's a conversation, or better still, get guests with opposing views that will create a balance instead. Example is like bringing an APC and LABOR PARTY members to the room to talk on a given subject, it will create that energy needed. But don't bring guests who share similar views as a presenter and then choose to become the opposition. It doesn't communicate well that way. Thank you

[@talktogbenga]

I understand your explanation ma perfectly, You just have to choose d right partner

[@LORDSWOT]

There is no one advocating for the men. The lady on the extreme right is putting up everything against mem even when the prime speaker is trying to strike a balance.

[@LORDSWOT]

"Ibuku, you make this sound so easy, but they are not" what's her real name, Rose or Ruth. You came to this program with the notion to advocate for women supremacy...

[@gentleeyisi4821]

She's apparently a Feminist.

[@ejiroovire2256]

Mama is really on point.

[@chidexiyi8540]

If there's understanding between the couple I don't think they will have any problem at all, because if a woman respects her husband I think any Sane husband must respect her wife back ..

[@omogenaija1]

This Ruth anchor needs to go back to basic communication school. Smh.

[@goodnessjim-odoi3034]

Honestly, she was very annoying throughout the interview. So unnecessarily dominating to even interjecting when the guests are contributing.

[@odeyinkamotunrayo4789]

Thanks for this

[@Ignite2Transform]

Make the right choice in a partner. That's the first step.

[@seunolugbemi6394]

Where do some Nigerian TV presenters pick this attitude of naming their guests without their initials? You'll never hear a Channels Tv presenter do this. It's not every practice in the western world we must import into our culture. These are high flyers in the society. The least respect the lead presenter could have given them is to call their names with their initials. In western countries a child can call the parent by the first same, but that's not acceptable in an African setting. The reason you brought them in as your guests is because they're more knowledgeable than you, hence they deserve to be respected.

[@tpshalom]

Western world bawo. Let them try it with John Hagee, it depends o. As a child, in fact, some Caucasian children can never ever try it. They use sir and ma'am for their parents.

[@gentleeyisi4821]

Very interesting table talk. Keep it up Arise News!

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

An important question. This idea of a woman should bring more to the table beyond their traditional roles (i.e. financial and leadership contributions) Are we saying men should now , while searching for a life partner, take into consideration their ability to support financially and leadership wise? Should those now be part of the criteria? Also, if a woman makes for than a man, outside the men with ego issues, what about the men who have no issues with the woman's finances but have to deal with her disrespect and arrogance that comes when some women earn more? Why is that never mentioned? When women earn more, a considerable number of them they find it difficult to respect the man as the head of the house. That part should also be addressed.

[@jonahamata3151]

In our world of today both the man and the woman should strive to provide for the home because of the economic realities of the time.

[@Sir.b.o]

In your place of work, regardless of your impact. Your boss takes the credit. Anywoman, who understands this will do well. Just because you have more money than your husband. You want the world to know...

[@ezinneerhirhieneeukaogo1439]

The boss who does not acknowledge the contribution of his staff would soon be kicked out If such 'richer' women are well acknowledged by their partners at home ,the competition may not be necessary. But such men often mock their contribution and even demand more subjugation than they'd ask from a Full Time Housewife It's almost as though he punishes her for having money. Having said this, they are other things aside money a man can provide and still retain his respect in the home. A man can provide wisdom , emotional support /security that can make him invaluable. These things money cannot buy

[@shalomcraca1806]

Great show BUT If only the presenter (host)stopped interupting the guest speakers, the talk would have been great. And how can you have 2 hosts and only one is asking questions, it is not well balanced.

[@timilehinkolade5088]

My takeaway: 2 becomes 1

[@GraceMercy7825]

See this Ruth or Rose why you nor married , na you bring guests listen to them but you dey tried to put negative words into their mouth and Ruth be olosho but white collar job deceived pp n changed her, I noticed her behavior on screen

[@TGGTheGloryofGod]

Thank you, Mr. Lanre, they are married to possession, not the man, we all got married for the wrong reason. Good question ( why do you want to married )

[@nadirichi]

Not all of us oo. Some of you. 😊

[@TGGTheGloryofGod]

Yes, she is very right, the head of the household should be earned, men also need to respect their wives in other to keep their crown wish it their wife. If a man Dont respect the woman in his house his crown will be stolen from him from the demonic realm of the Spirit. So the head of the household needs to maintain the terms of God's love for your wife and stay away from the side, front, and back chick.

[@adelajasobowale5228]

Allow Mrs. Oniru be devil's advocate.

[@AladdinKelly]

When people don’t understand what’s happening they usually get upset(men) or defensive(women). Industrialization is what ruined the relationship dynamics. Once the demand for machines increased, the role of men decreased. Women benefited from office work due to it not being viewed masculine initially. Keep playing this European game and see how your life will end up.

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

Ruth Osime is showing what majority of women think. She keeps saying pulling weight. She now said its "not as easy to be that submissive"😂😂😂. So because he's broke, you can respect and submit to him? She mentioned financial stress . Making money is stressful! Welcome to what men go through. You can ask for gender equality and the choice to have a job, or a career, and expect it to be easy😂 And she sounds like once a woman makes money, she can't get broke or lose it all. I want to ask: if it becomes hard for a woman to be submissive when the man is broke, should he replace his wife when she becomes broke?

[@funmilayoaina2658]

You fail to see that there is a lot of unpaid labor a woman does in a marriage. Do you think coming home to a home to relax with a cooked meal, a tidy house, clean clothes and healthy children happens by magic? It is like a reward for the hard work outside. It makes more sense economically to get a wife to assist in those things. Remember how it was as a bachelor. How much did you spend weekly or monthly on the laundry man that you don't pay your wife. Now in addition to all that stress, she now has to go and earn bread for the entire family and instead of coming home and relax to a cooked meal, healthy children, clean clothes and tidy house. She is coming home to a mess and still has to do extra. Where is her reward? She now also has an extra child who thinks he's the man of the house when he is failing to deliver, when he refuses to make her life easier. He won't assist in the house or either the children. Anyone in that situation will be resentful, then they start to disrespect the man because he is nothing more than a child, dead weight in their eyes. Abroad women will just divorce the man. At least she will shed the dead weight and start to glow up.

[@kingsleyafamefuna8442]

@@funmilayoaina2658 a lot of unpaid labour?🤣🤣🤣 So who pays the man for all he does since it's a transaction now? Help me answer. Providing, and protecting the family, governing the home (govts collect tax o!) and having to put down his life if need be......who pays for that? Or men do nothing in families. See, the problem is the only thing majority women value in men is money. And that's what I said that led to your long comment. You don't seem to see you're supporting my stance. But, keep up the good work. Please Ma'am, no one forced women to work. It's a choice. If a woman chooses not to work and, no one will shame her for it. No matter how modern we try to be, society would not look down on a woman if the family is not doing well financially. Now, if you want to be paid for "your labour" , let me ask, how much does it cost? Of course since you want to be paid, no need to marry a woman then. Women should just set up companies and market their services. Men then pay and go their way. Nothing more . Strictly transactional. How much for: A)Child bearing B) Child raising C)House Cleaning D) Cooking E) Sex Etc. Also, giving that women think they're not the same, how do we categorize who gets paid more for their "services"? Who is basic service and premium service? I would really love an answer. PS: A house wife is a massive asset. Traditionally, that has been the woman's role. If you choose to do what is traditionally meant for men, you're free but don't complain about the burden. It was your choice. If a man chooses not to take one what is traditionally for the woman, it's wrong to shame him. You need to watch the broadcast. Family is a team sport. Vet thoroughly and Choose a man that you're compatible with. It's your responsibility. Don't choose wrong and start lamenting. Also, if you want to behave like abroad women, feel free. Men are not bothered. The attendant outcomes await. They only tell you the part that makes you feel good. They don't tell you how things are at the end.

[@funmilayoaina2658]

@@kingsleyafamefuna8442 If you think that marriage is based on love and not an economic proposition to benefit men especially, then you are delusional. Marriage has always been an economic proposition since time immemorial. Our grandmothers had no choice because they were not allowed basic rights like working to earn as much as a man and owning property so the only option left was to marry a man who would provide and put a roof over her head while she would bear him kids and raise him in return. They also had to tolerate his bad behavior, polygamy, domestic violence, infidelity, lack of emotional maturity. If she voiced her opinion she would be thrown out on the streets. Women of today have choices that our grandmothers never had. They are doing what made Men special and there is no big deal in going out to make a living. I am not saying it is easy. But it is not impossible. No one forced women to work? Women had no choice but to fight for the right to work and attain financial freedom. Some sons of Adam are unreliable and had bad characteristics listed in the previous paragraph. It is the main reason why many widows and discovered women refuse to remarry. They may have to work hard to provide for themselves, but the peace of mind that comes with being free from a bad marriage trumps looking for another beau. Let's say you decide to outsource the things a wife does To hire a house cleaning service anything between 50-100k monthly. To hire a prostitute for example on codedruns would be 50k per round or 100k for weekend. Add extra based on how many rounds you want per month, if that is too expensive you can go for a cheap prostitute for 5k short time, multiply that by how many times you have sex in a month. To hire a surrogate you are looking at nothing less than 4million naira per child. Who is also not obligated to change pampers or breastfeed the child in the 1st year of it's life Let's say you want to hire a nanny for the kids. 50-100k depending on number of children and whether part time/full time. She may look after your kids but she is not obligated to take them to hospital if he/she falls ill or watch the child overnight when sick. She is also not obligated to train your child. These benefits only a mother can provide. Lesson teachers between 30-50k based on your situation. They may not be obligated to check your xhild's homework. My colleague says he spends 15-30k on laundry including dry cleaning. Driver to pick up and drop the child at school. 40-60k. If you want love and emotional attachment, get a dog and pay for its food, vet visits, vaccinations qt least there will be someonewho is happyto see you when you get home. Let's say 20-50k depending on where you are. How much is the average man's salary? How much is yours. Even very rich men choose to get a wife or girlfriend to deceive into doing all these things at subsidized rates. So the thing that men can contribute into a marriage because your characters are not up to standard. You now fail at it. Go out and work. All these weak ass men need to man up.

[@adekunleadeyemo3016]

👆👍👍👍👍

[@ucheekwebelem5160]

​@@kingsleyafamefuna8442as a lady, im looking for a way to like your comment a 1000tines more! 💯💯💯

[@AngelaUsidame]

Some men use the finical comfort of their wife to womanise and do other irresponsible things which gives alot of women pains and make them disrespectful

[@godfirstbakers6722]

I think the issue of the man earning a position of the head of the house should be automatically earned and established the day the woman agrees to marry him and become his wife. This should not be debated and nor negotiated because anytime a woman say ls because the man is deficient in any area, he loses that position of respect and honor, the marriage may cease to exist. I say this because a man whether being fed by a woman or even on a dying bed, will never ceed that God ordained and natural position for anything tangible or intangible.

[@faa8882]

Eve, be careful not to fall into deception taking Adam along with you.

[@messiah751]

Women who have even phd cant feed a home for a month without 😅humiliating the man in Nigeria 😂 we know the only tribe, who can do that without much fight (ijaws 😮❤

[@ifeifesi]

This view point usually come from men with weak egos that resent a woman being a financial threat to him regardless of how much or how little she earns.

[@AladdinKelly]

The fact that y’all are convincing yourselves that women picking men is practical is delusional

[@korede17]

😮😅