Where I've Been - Covid 19 Loss & Autism Project Update

[@ghost_tess3199]

Damn, I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you and your family can find some respite.

[@lunieahexx6043]

*big virtual hugs from Canada* take care of yourself, I know its frustrating but let yourself rest and heal that is a lot of heavy stuff your dealing with.

[@PhantomQueenOne]

I'm so sorry, I don't think anyone's family will escape this.

[@shinysylveon6984]

So sorry to hear that you are going through so much right now, I hope things get better for you and your family from here and you all get what you need to process everything

[@morphingfaces]

As someone on the spectrum neurodivergent solidarity and I'm sorry for your familial loss stay strong comrade

[@MirandolinaAmaldin]

Wish you all the best. Losing a loved one and carrying so many worries around has to take up a lot of energy. I hope that things become better but I expect that will need a lot of time. Take care!

[@unicyclist97]

Sorry for your loss. Stay safe and I hope things get better.

[@GabrielleWolfmaze]

You are achieving so much. Having to get through each day when all this is weighing on you is an amazing achievement. As someone who's mental health problems mean that I physically am unable to work right now I know what it's like to literally be unable to even do the most basic things like eat. Don't undermine yourself with what you aren't able to do. Considering the amount of physical and mental strain your under you really are doing so much. Please don't compare yourself to when your not feeling this way. Its incredibly powerful and overwhelming more so then people realise. Please see the achievements you're making each day despite this.

[@ChristyAbbey]

Love you, my friend. If saying, "Be well," could cure it all, I'd say it a million times. Settle for just the wish: Be well.

[@orangesanguines]

So sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family all the best. Regarding the autism, I had a similar experience with therapists in that they kept wanting to focus on my childhood trauma and dismissed my autism. As others have said, self-diagnosis is totally valid when it comes to autism. However, I understand if you want a professional opinion. I'm professionally diagnosed myself and I'm glad that is the case as it's opened doors to getting accomodations and such. Anyway, take care, and please don't put too much pressure on yourself to accomplish things right now. It's super understandable that you're overwhelmed and need time to process things

[@carolinelabbott2451]

My sympathies to you and your family.

[@NikiPaprika]

i'm so so sorry for your loss. i'm so glad that you and your family have these good memories to remember her by, i am wishing you all of the best during this time

[@Xs2865]

I'm so sorry to hear this I hope you are staying strong sending love

[@ThomasTrue]

So sorry for your and your family's loss, Peter/Ethel. Much love to you and Udita.

[@LindaDanvers]

My condolences to you and your family. Thank you for taking the time to make this update.

[@Rhinathegreat]

I relate a lot to the idea of "Schrodinger's autistic", I am 90% sure I'm autistic but when I spoke to a therapist she couldn't even gender me correctly let alone help me with a diagnosis. if it helps there is lots of folks who support self dox, and for good reason since getting one as a adult can be hard or impossible depending on your situation. I'm sorry for your loss and understand if you need/want to take a break during this time. please do what is best for your and your loved ones health.

[@mb-the-enby]

I relate to this really hard as well. Peter/Ethel, please take care.

[@siginotmylastname3969]

Oh damn you're reminding me of how gaslighty my ex therapist was, she just used ridiculous excuses to misgender me and made me feel like I was looking for reasons to mistrust her.

[@ceruleanvoyager1847]

I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I send my best wishes and my journey with diagnosis in hopes it would give a frame to yours. Read it when you feel up to, burn out is a bitch. I was born in the late 70s prematurely and was put in an incubator, my pediatrician mom and neurologist dad followed my millstones carefully and it was pretty clear I was different. I was a chatterbox but not a conversationalist. I did build block cities but couldn’t sit peacefully through a meal. We saw a doctor and the label hyperactivity/ hyperkinesis was pondered. It didn’t quite fit. But it was suggested I started PK earlier and the structure helped a bit. Socialization was hard. Reading writing too the label dyslexia was pondered and it didn’t quite fit. I was clever and moved to preschool and then to 1st grade in a little progressive school and I was there rather happy until 3rd grade when we moved and I was sent a bigger school and a bit overwhelming. I had my first meltdown during a school function. My rather new therapist tried to diagnose me with oppositional defiant disorder. My mom said meh, because I could follow instructions as long as they were explained to me politely and my opinions in regards to the light hurting me were believed. Changed therapist and school and found the guy that was my therapist until I turned 18 ( paido phychiatrist neurodevelopment specialist). Who suggested atypical autism as a diagnosis. He focused on helping me self-regulate, identify my triggers and work on my advantages. He also made me a Lecarre fan and always treated me like a person. Nowadays I consider Dr. D a friend. One of his bests take outs is: a diagnosis has to work for you, not the other way around. He talked to me about all the issues of the DSM (the diagnosis tool where I was living) and all its subjectivity. A diagnosis can help you frame how to handle your symptoms, traits etc but it shouldn’t define you IMO. If you are hurting you should look for help and help must be helpful to you. I hope you find a therapist that can help you feel safe and empowered and find the tools to be the best you that you can be.

[@bomberfox5232]

my sincere condolences

[@unicyclist97]

It took me several attempts to get my autism diagnosed. It helped that I'd had it pointed out by a psychologist before going to see a doctor, and that the specialist clinic is only one town away from me. I understand it can be much more difficult if the people you have to consult aren't familiar with the condition.

[@mm-rj3vo]

Always remember it's good to tell people where you are, emotionally. Especially those you trust to support you. You've got this.

[@martinmilosevic9403]

My most sincere condolences! I don't think there's anything to say that could help. Your absence is completely understandable, and no matter how long time you need until you feel like doing videos again, regularly or irregularly, I know I'll be here. No matter how shitty things are, as far as I am concerned, you and this channel is a non-shitty presence in this shitty world.

[@Shhadowfang]

My deepest condolences to you and your family. I was diagnosed with autism at age 14, and now, at 22, I am still constantly finding out new things and going "oh, THAT's an autistic thing?" and slowly unraveling all the ways it affects me and my interactions. If I have any advice, it is this: If you can, don't stress yourself to figure it out, because it will take time - years - to learn everything even with the best of resources. Also, if you cannot get a formal diagnosis (whether positive or negative), there is absolutely nothing wrong with interacting with autistic communities and resources anyway if you feel that it helps you. For most of us, the struggle to find a therapist who takes us seriously is an intimately familiar one, and people will generally not deny you even if you are 'only' self-diagnosed. Naturally I cannot speak for your experience, but for me it has been vital to listen to other autistic people. You learn much more that way - we catch things in ourselves that allistic people do not - and the validation has been potentially life-saving for me in coping with the dehumanization we tend to face.

[@Galvion1980]

Very sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.

[@siginotmylastname3969]

Therapy is really hard for dealing with multiple disabilities, sorry you experienced that. As someone who couldn't seem to get ANY diagnoses through the nhs, I well understand how upsetting it is to be misunderstood in what you're asking for. I could only just get into disability services at uni with an anxiety diagnosis, am waiting years for assessments and gender clinic, got files lost on a new NHS number, even had my asthma treated with suspicion as a result, and I think I'm dealing with autism, depression, bpd and/or cptsd.

[@TheLongBallofTheLaw]

Sorry for your loss! Take care, friend!

[@Wildcard120]

I am sorry for your loss.

[@LordLav]

Sorry to hear about all this. Sounds like you need some self care and to rest up... Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re clearly someone that works extremely hard and always tries their best as it is... And time out can be necessary. We’re humans not machines. Wishing you and yours happier times now and moving forward ✌️

[@karatheythemharkins2393]

Sorry to hear the news. *HUGS* I hope you all can work through this during these times. As to autism, I saw a doctor about thinking I had AS over several sessions and he diagnosed me as having it. Later I was seeing another doctor about something unrelated and she doubted I had it, which threw up all sorts of conflict. It was not until I was seeing a third doctor about ADHD and he confirmed the first doctor's diagnosis (as the 2 conditions somewhat overlap) that I was able to put the 2nd doctor's statement behind me. So yeah, having a therapist come at you over a dx, tentative or confirmed, is not good but unfortunately seems to happen.

[@TheSerfTimes]

So sorry for your loss EoT

[@garysturgess6757]

Reall sorry to hear that mate.

[@rogerkearns8094]

Sorry for your loss; best wishes.

[@NikiPaprika]

also, with regards to your experience with your therapist, i've been in the exact same situation with a previous psychologist. unfortunately it can happen when you're already working with someone who has been assigned your case to work on a different issue from the beginning. i know there is yet more discourse surrounding self diagnosis, but one of the reasons for it is precisely due to this, that a lot of people can be told to put it aside, or are misdiagnosed, or are simply not familiar enough with it and whether they mean to or not, end up being dismissive of what the patient has to say. it's also fairly common for women, lgbt people and people of colour to have difficulties in recieving a diagnosis, due to expected societal standards and prejudices. also, disabilities don't suddenly appear on diagnosis. the signs are still there, and affect your life.

[@wmdkitty]

I'm sorry! Virtual hugs if you'd like them.

[@GhillieGuide]

Thanks for making this video, sad to hear you encountered the ignorance and bigotry towards autistic people within psychiatry. Hopefully this helps take some of the pressure off, this kind of insecurity around autistic identity doesn't go away after dx because everyone constantly doubts autistic people that don't fit their pre-conceived notions.

[@robertmccallen1902]

😢

[@Humorless_Wokescold]

I'm sorry for your loss.