Who Should I Marry? - Advice from Elder Aimilianos

Elder Aimilianos says, “Once we reach a certain age, moreover, the choice of one's life partner is a matter which should not be put off. Neither should one be in a hurry, because, as the saying goes, "quick to marry, quick to despair". But one should not delay, because delay is a mortal danger to the soul. As a rule, the normal rhythm of the spiritual life begins with marriage. An unmarried person is like someone trying to live permanently in a hallway: he doesn't seem to know what the rooms are for. Parents should take an interest in the child's social life, but also in his prayer life, so that the blessed hour will come as a gift sent by God.
Don't choose a person who wastes his time at clubs, having good time, and throwing away his money on traveling and luxuries. Neither should you choose someone who, as you'll find out, conceals his self-centeredness beneath words of love. Don't choose a woman as your wife who is like gun powder, so that as soon as you say something to her, she bursts to flames. She's no good as a wife.
Discuss things in advance with your spiritual father. Examine every detail with him, and he will stand by your side as a true friend, and, when you reach the desired goal, then your marriage will be a gift from God (cf. 1 Cor 7.7). God gives his own gift to each one of us. He leads one person to marriage and another to virginity. Not that God makes the choice by saying "you go here", and "you go there", but he gives us the nerve to choose what our heart desires, and the courage and the strength to carry it out.
If you choose your spouse in this way, then thank God. Bring him into touch with your spiritual father. If you don't have one, the two of you should choose a spiritual father together, who will be your Elder, your father, the one who will remind you of, and show you God.”
Read the full sermon: orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/marria...
Listen to the full sermon "Marriage: The Great Sacrament": • Marriage: The Great Sa...
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[@rotgutad]

I saw the title and cynically/jokingly thought “what would an Athonite know about women?” Boy was I wrong. Such wisdom.

[@Lilo82531]

They know human nature more then anybody.

[@thattimestampguy]

0:26 Quick to marry Quick to despair. 1:22 Discuss with parents. Parents don't pressure, he is free to make his own decision. It is his responsibility. Help but allow. 2:08 Attraction, Desire to live together. 3:30 Engagement is testing for marriage 4:27 Be cautious 4:52 Don't chose someone who flaunts, who is quick to anger. 5:33 Man leaves his Father and Mother and is united to his Wife He must be spirited 6:19 He needs friends. 6:55 Be on guard from trivial critique 7:15 Avoid people who think marriage is like prison 7:45 Watch for Hypocrites Learn the family 8:17 Pay attention to the person's Faith, His/Her Ideals. 9:05 Speak to your Spiritual Father.

[@miketacos9034]

This is incredibly useful and wise advice.

[@robertbateman3698]

Thank you

[@jennyamiantitis4906]

May Elder Aimilianos intercede for us.

[@taranmurray7046]

Where on Earth are there any people like this?

[@masi7iyah140]

there are some, trust me. you just have to keep praying 🙏🏼

[@adamsmith2944]

@@masi7iyah140 theyre not on social media. Theyre not in the city either

[@gweenteaphilosophe]

@@adamsmith2944 I disagree. I found my boyfriend through social media. He's been Orthodox for a few years now, and I am a catechumen (have been). We were friends for over a year, and then eventually got together. 6 months going strong so far, long distance is tough but he'll be visiting me during the Nativity of Christ! I'll be baptized Orthodox then. I pray that if it is God's will, that anyone here without hope to find someone special may receive holy intercession and find their rightful spouse !

[@iMacxXuserXx485]

@@adamsmith2944 My girlfriend and I met in high school. We grew up in nyc. She is my best friend. We will probably be married in the next year or two. I agree with the above. Keep praying. God bless you.

[@bluntweirdo]

church

[@civillian876]

Im a 16 yr old female But i already felt like Elder Amilianos Had already pointed out all about myself here in this vid as a women

[@FearBASED-vr1ky]

Which country are you from?

[@civillian876]

@@FearBASED-vr1ky Philippines

[@metrach8901]

no wonder, I'm basically all of that but being alone sucks. Lord have mercy

[@resistentia7442]

I suggest a short snippet of Orthodox music at the end as a nice way to phase out from the wisdom.

[@omira-arimo]

And I appreciate the lack of any music, thank you! 🌸

[@ruslanakozinchuk9956]

I wish to hear this before my marriage. It’s a precious piece of information that all people not only orthodox has to take seriously!

[@billydavenport8134]

Thank you for this!

[@bluntweirdo]

I love this! Funny because it is true. If you can embody these qualities, you can find someone else who does also. Like attracts like!

[@SerpicoVendemion]

Thank you.

[@selamtesfaye5962]

Thank you!

[@NanaMaryanna]

What wisdom!!! Glory to God!🙏🕊

[@user-po9ck6rg3z]

Very good !! Thanks for sharing. May YAHWEH bless you richly. Greetings in CHRIST, from Germany. Ruben

[@tylerstewart7699]

What do we do if we're not in the position to move out? Especially as expensive as things are now. It's not easy to get a home.

[@OrthodoxWisdom]

Do the best you can and pray hard

[@ArizonaTengu]

As aman who inherited a family business. Moving out done the American way is extremely difficult. I have the option of moving to two other properties that are in my parent’s name. One in California and the other in Mexico with my current residence here in Arizona. We discuss things as a family and try to finance a new property purchase together. The commandment is to leave your father’s house. The commandment isn’t you have to do it all alone. We are currently looking to buy a third property in town here in Arizona. Trying to keep the family together is important. Even in ancient times most people didn’t move far from their parents, and typically stayed local. There is also the option of sharing a house with other families. If you have friends in your parish, or outside the Church, you can join finances to help each other but property. You could of course, try to figure things out by yourself, but most never make it past poverty that way. There are strategies to success. Don’t ignore them.

[@0utc4st1985]

The Elder isn't referring to people who stay with their parents because of finances, but those who still live with their parents as though they never grew up. Be patient and pray, but never despair. If you can't yet move out because the costs are too high, then you can't. But be vigilant for opportunities in the future, God will send them to you according to His providence.

[@iMacxXuserXx485]

In other parts of the world, people will build an extension to their existing home of their parents for them and their family to save money. Do that if it's possible.

[@lejspul7655]

As soon as you start seeing living with them as a personal responsibility, and an opportunity to serve, then you have developed what is needed to live with anyone

[@Mch0412]

What if age gap is 17 years ?

[@OrthodoxWisdom]

talk with you spiritual father, and if you don't have one then an experienced Orthodox spiritual guide

[@Mch0412]

@@OrthodoxWisdom thank you!

[@thebibleuniverseity4388]

Nah

[@haraprasadsabhapati6231]

sir orthodox priest marry

[@Mystics-_-]

Yes they can marry

[@samuelagwotu5074]

I think Celibate life would be better considered First , Purity with ardent life of prayer and sacraments of Church ..... should be the ultimate focus of this earthly life , With all your strength seek God, should , some woman comes your way .. then Marriage should be discerned , with outmost prayer, thorough Vetting , with all fear !!! ........i rather be with dragon or lion than with evil woman !!! is scary scripture reading , isn't it ? actually there are many scripture readings that scare even ,more, Sacramental Marriage is very beautiful , in ITS Nature , but Not possible in our modern world ..actually its Grave Burden for Majority of people today, even Christians, all over the world, all in all WISE MAN , SHOULD SEEK GOD, AND HIS KINGDOM .... CLING IN SACREMENTAL LIFE, ....... than to carry the York of Marriage !!!!. my opinion....................., i might be right, OR i might be wrong, but as A Man who has lived a life of close to 50 yrs, what i see today....greed for money , contraception, has destroyed women and family !!! you might ask , HOW IS SACREMENTAL MARRIAGE POSSIBLE WITH MODERN WOMAN OF TODAY ? ????

[@microcolonel]

Marriage is not inferior to celibacy.

[@giorgiogiorgetti3939]

Agree. Great points. Modern women are a joke

[@EO-John9540]

For those who (like many in the west) are confused of what to do, coming to the Church very late after a wretched life: Do not forget about God, with Him even hardships are not hard, there is no loneliness, and your powerlessness will be strengthened by God’s power. People are allowed to be overcome by the confusion of life so that they might understand that we cannot live without God. Now many have crossed the threshold of the Church, but only outwardly, while inwardly they still place their hope in themselves and in other people. Meanwhile the Lord is waiting for us to cleave to Him like children, with our hearts. Only then will everything change in our lives. God’s blessing to you and your daughter; of course, your request for prayer is fulfilled. FR. JOHN KRESTIANKIN. LETTERS TO LAYPEOPLE. PART 7

[@samuelagwotu5074]

I think Celibate life would be better considered First , Purity with ardent life of prayer and sacraments of Church ..... should be the ultimate focus of this earthly life , With all your strength seek God, should , some woman comes your way .. then Marriage should be discerned , with outmost prayer, thorough Vetting , with all fear !!! ........i rather be with dragon or lion than with evil woman !!! is scary scripture reading , isn't it ? actually there are many scripture readings that scare even ,more, Sacramental Marriage is very beautiful , in ITS Nature , but Not possible in our modern world ..actually its Grave Burden for Majority of people today, even Christians, all over the world, all in all WISE MAN , SHOULD SEEK GOD, AND HIS KINGDOM .... CLING IN SACREMENTAL LIFE, ....... than to carry the York of Marriage !!!!. my opinion....................., i might be right, OR i might be wrong, but as A Man who has lived a life of close to 50 yrs, what i see today....greed for money , contraception, has destroyed women and family !!! you might ask , HOW IS SACREMENTAL MARRIAGE POSSIBLE WITH MODERN WOMAN OF TODAY ? ????

[@rosehavenfarm2969]

​@samuelagwotu5074 With God all things are possible. You are looking through the lens of your own faults and situation, perhaps.