Why Addressing Barriers and Stigma is Essential for Good Mental Health

On Mental Health Awareness Day, I wanted to be frank and open about my past and present struggles with mental health. I also talked about some of the barriers that get in the way of opening up, especially around being transgender and having a chronic illness like ME/CFS. The stigma and misinformation around these identities cause huge barriers in stopping people from asking for help and addressing these is essential for good mental health.
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[@FinnTheInfinncible]

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[@miloraoof7654]

I love that part when you said “feelings are human”. This is very important!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Absolutely my friend! It's the most natural thing in the world to feel, to cry, to hurt, and most importantly to let it out!

[@superdrwholock]

Love this video Finn. I totally agree with you about trans people feeling this weird pressure to prove that we’re happier because of transition due to all the transphobia out there trying to spread misinformation about it. I certainly feel this at times, sorry I shouldn’t speak for all trans people I’ve just had a few convos with friends who feel the same. It’s almost like people think you can’t have mental health struggles if you’re trans and you’ve transitioned because that should fix everything but it really doesn’t work like that. Of course transition trans people helps massively, but we’re still human at the end of the day haha, and also a lot of us have trauma from not being able to be ourselves during such formative years like childhood and teenhood and also early adulthood. Genuinely I think cis people take that so for granted, to be able to just be you. It’s so confusing being a kid and being trans, you’re quite literally gaslit at times, with people denying who you are. I’m very lucky that I got to socially transition at 18, and I’m excited for medical transition, but I also know that me not being able to be myself as a kid, being dismissed when I opened up, then being rejected again when I learned all the right words and came out etc all up until 18, I was bullied, also had undiagnosed autism, lots of issues, so of course I’m still going to struggle at times lol. And obviously when such a big chunk of society hates trans people, and are actively trying to take your rights away, hate you for something you can’t help, it’s going to negatively impact everyone in that group in some way, even if it’s just a niggling fear in the back of your head. And that’s just me, I can’t imagine having a chronic illness along with that. I’m glad you’re getting some therapy but it can also as you said bring so many things to the surface that you might have pushed down to not burden people or just to try to crack on. And that’s if you can even get help, the waiting lists in the UK are atrocious and the costs to go private is too much for most people, let alone americas messed up healthcare system, there’s lots of issues in so many countries for any healthcare let alone mental health care which is often overlooked. Sorry for this ramble in the comments, basically I just appreciate you being so open man, much love ❤️

[@sunnylove1008]

Finn, you may have felt cross but even so your kindness, sweetness and good will shine through every time. No matter what trauma you've been through, no matter how much or how little you are able to do, no matter how bright or dark your mood, thoughts and urges may be, your inherent sweetness shines through everything. Your core being beyond any story is so beautiful and healing for the rest of us. Thank you for sharing over and over again. Love and appreciate you so much!!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

My goodness what a lovely lovely message. Whenever I feel low I must come and read this. Thank you so very much

[@sunnylove1008]

@@FinnTheInfinncible yes please do. Own it dear one 💕

[@Him_He_Me]

l see that Lamby!!!! l find that if l start to talk about my mental health... not just mental health in general, l feel like people zone out. l am comfortable talking about it, l just think other people are not. Work has got mental health care for free so lm going to access that tomorrow. So much to do. lm just so tired. Thanks for this talk. lt is timely. Personally l feel l need some trans support. Yeah, lm not doing well. So sorry my friend that you are at a low. Fred has really taken a toll on you. He is so unfair, l want to kick his ass to the curb. This is unfair. Your health is important. lts the priority. You and your family is what matters the most. Huge hugs my friend. You've been so amazing with your recovery, and self harming. l understand there is so much stress, sadness and disappointment with grief as well. l love you Finn. You are loved by many and so worthy of everything wonderful. Sending vibes of positivity and spoons. 💗💗🏳‍⚧🏳‍🌈

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Bless your heart buddy. Yes, not all people can handle talking about it, so it is important to be selective about who we talk to. Im glad you have provisions at work. Going through transition is particually tough, there isnt a lot of suppor for us, for the everyday stuff of dealing with the social ransition thats invlved, the role changes, the internal changes, the grief and loss it brings uo, and all the stigma we have to deal with. Thank you for your kind words. Ive been through such a lot, and I think, well I know, that I put a lot of pressure on myself at times to just be over all that now and just build a new life, forgetting what a giant mountain Ive overcome and forgeting the age I am! What I want to be able to do, and what I can do , are not matching up, partly because of my age in life and the time I have left and partly because of my health, and I am really not yet in a full place of acceptance of that! What I do know, is that I am very blessed to be so supported and loved, thank you my friend.

[@kavitadeva]

My friend, how I relate to you. When I say I understand, I wish I didn't, but I DO. You could keep on talking for hours and I would NEVER tire of it. I am so ill and in so much pain right now, this Is just stopping bye to say hello and I am going to send a lengthy comment later today when hopefully I am not crying and having meltdowns due to complex PTSD and Having ME. You get it I get it, it sucks. But I want to share about what you spoke about today which as always was brilliant. Finn I love you. You are NOT a Burden. ❤

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Bless your heart, l appreciate you and your lovely comment so much, especially when you are not well yourself and yet you took the time to reach out and send sommuch love my way, thank you , it means the world. I'm sending so.much love to you in return

[@ABLovescrafting]

Thank you so much, Finn. It is so important to talk about mental health on so many levels. Don't I know it. I'm so glad you have taken to this new hobby and are still at it. Keep up the good work! I've been feeling down as well, and, as usual, it's so good to sit down with my brother across the pond. Cheers! I sure wish we could share a cuppa one day.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I'd love to share a cuppa! Bless you my friend..I love the work I do, I might not be able to do as much, or consistently, but I will always do it!

[@amyayars-evans4666]

Finn, such a valid video. I have loads of anxiety, naturally. I am not so sure being trans isn't part of it! But my marriage, my job, my health all play part in my MH stability. Such a good topic! It's exhausting to deal with chronic illness. You do an absolute phenomenal job living a full life. I love you.

[@stefaniedecoster2772]

Thanks for the video sweetie, and you sharing your wisdom!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you so much lovely!

[@silvermoonuk]

Please keep making good videos on chronic health issues. 🙏 I have chronic health issues myself, such as fibromyalgia, autism, anxiety, etc. I'm having to rely on carers now. Plus, I have put in a nhs wheelchair ♿️ referral. So I'm finding life hard at the moment 😕

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you for your lovely words, I will keep making them as often as my health allows Im sorry you are finding life hard too, I hope you hear back about the wheelchair referal quickly, that will give you a ton more freedom

[@miloraoof7654]

Thankyou for this reminder! We are all in such a state of difficulty.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Sending much love to you my friend

[@rainbowtropolis]

Hello! Good to see you on my screen again internet buddy! 🥰 Whatever that bug is going around, it has a massive drain on the energy reserves, if we had any to begin with 🫠 Mental health is such a huge factor in my life as well. If I wrote my whole story, it would be a book. The merry-go-round of meds, diagnosis, misinformation, and doctors who think that's ALL that's wrong with us. I have a pain, they tell me it's all in my head instead of checking to see if it's something with my mixed connective tissue/autoimmune disease. I talk about mental health stuff to medical doctors and they think the same thing "Aren't you happy now after your transition?" That hit the nail on the head when you said they think going through transition didn't work! 🙄 Another thing I keep running into now, being trans, is the doctors want to blame everything on testosterone! UGH. I know about the heart issues it can cause, but it's not the cause of everything and I should be written off! 7:30 I wish we didn't have to scale back all the fun stuff just to get through the day with the bare minimum to function/get through the day sometimes. Living in a senior/disabled community, I get people all the time still misgendering me, calling me by my old name, saying "hasn't it made up it's mind yet what it wants to be?" meaning me of course. With people with mental health/aging issues, it's horrid. It's not that I don't like some of my neighbors, but the daily explanations, the "I still see you as a girl" comments; it wears me down so much that I'm becoming that "happy to be anti-social" person! I need to move, but I'm on disability. I would love to get away from here and move to a new town where no one knew me before my transition so I could feel a sense of happiness being called by my name automatically and being gendered correctly. Even that can cause such high anxiety/isolating tendencies for me. 19:00 You talk about POTS & how the doctors pass it off as anxiety... I have some sort of heart issue where it stops for a few beats, and I have to punch myself in the chest to get it going again. My partner has seen this and said I turn white, so they know it happens and it's not "all in my head" The doctors don't believe me because they had me wear a heart monitor for a week and of course it didn't happen then! So frustrating, and that causes my anxiety, not the other way around. I agree that the videos we make are just a snapshot in time, and we also wear masks to "keep up appearances". *subscriber hugs of support* And thank you for your waffles 🧇🥰

[@xievisthedragon]

Surely now that you transitioned all your past traumas just magically go away right? Never eyerolled so hard in my life when someone said this. Like yea, all that molestation, rape, being locked away in a tiny room as a kid, having an anti LGBT father growing up, that all just went away when I started testosterone lol. wut Hang in there Finn, you are an awesome person, as an older trans person I love your content!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Bless your heart, it's exactly this. Transition helps us to free ourselves from gender dysphoria and then have more resources free to deal with past and present trauma, but it doesn't make them magically disappear. I'm so sorry for all you have had to go through. Thanks you for your lovely comments. Sending you so much love!

[@wilsonsothernames]

Very articulate thank you

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you and thanks for watching!

[@teijaflink2226]

It's so sad how many that live with childhood trauma and how it destroys so people are not able to live the life they want just some adults(usually) traumatised them as children.

[@sydmeans3714]

Finn I adore your content 😍

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

What a lovely thing to say, thank you so very much!

[@debmansbridge3923]

Well said as always Fyn keep up the vlogs

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you Deb, thank you always for your kind words and support.

[@simonlarkin2263]

Yes 👏 well said Finn keep well if u need a chat anytime message away . I’m so sick off tories attacking our family

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Me too buddy, and thank you for that very kind offer

[@rhiawolf]

A lot more people need to see this.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks my friend I agree! Feel free to share! 💜

[@natashamason3328]

Love you 💜xxx

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Love you too darling ,

[@censoredbyyoutubeagain4569]

Beautiful home!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you!

[@Michelle-gj7bt]

You are so right about doctor 😊

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I'm so sorry you've experienced this too

[@victoriahouse9969]

Just because you've changed how you look on the outside doesn't change how you feel on the inside.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

exactly, and even when you do change how you feel on the nside, you can change and control whats happening around you, and hat has a profound effect on us. Living in this world is hard, especially when you are in a minority group.

[@ASMRLISAMJ]

Love you... you make so much sense life is hard ,, keep going darling xx

[@maverickspirit208]

Thank you for opening up just a little bit. You have experienced a lot of pain. Your doctor can't help you unless you're not totally honest with him and honest with yourself. Your pain has been written all over your face since I started watching you 3+ years ago. Hey Fin, what do you have to lose at this point, why not try turning to God? God can heal you. He healed me.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I am very honest about my mental health, Ive been open from the start, as a way to hpefully encourage others to do the same. The point of this video was to talk about the barriers that get in the way of people opening up, of which there are many, Ive named just a few, the main one for me is stigma, of my trans identiy, and of my chronic illness, these have a huge negative impact on my mental health. I don't need to turn to god thank you, I already have a God of my own understanding