Why Are French People So Rude? My Thoughts as Local!

[@iparipaitegianiparipaitegi4643]

Being polite in the US means being friendly. Being polite in France means showing respect and being formal.

[@bip5395]

@@iparipaitegianiparipaitegi4643 being friendly in showman manner. You need to basically ACT (word used very purposefully) friendly to be considered friendly

[@Clery75019]

Being polite in France means showing respect, yes, but it's not about being formal. Social conventions are more subjective than we imagine. In the US, small talk is considered as showing consideration to someone, but the way it's done would be interepreted as "fake" and "formal" from a French perspective. In France, systematically saying "hello" is also meant as showing consideration, but that would be interepreted as "excessive" and "formal" from a US perspective. No one is right and no one is wrong in this, it's just a social code.

[@katsybo]

Well said

[@lamrof]

The south very friendly, long winded greetings to strangers. The West friendly but shorter small talks with strangers. East coast, very short. Formality in public situations generally breeds awkwardness in the US. Polite and friendly yes, formal not so much.

[@l.w.paradis2108]

Perfect. This should go viral.

[@benthomas9776]

Smiling isn't required? People don't like small talk and will generally leave you alone? You're not expected to be friendly with random strangers? Sign me up!

[@MiljaHahto]

You'll even find several countries in Europe with those cultural traits.

[@florenna]

@@MiljaHahto Yeah, such as Finland ;) (Much more so than France, in my experience.)

[@MiljaHahto]

@@florenna definitely, perhaps even most iin Finland.

[@hospitalfood6621]

Sounds like hell. It’s not my style, but to each his own.

[@krxy1_mkw]

​@@hospitalfood6621how is it hell? do you want to be interacting with people non stop?

[@Mojo_3.14]

I don't think I ever went on a vacation looking to make friends. I didn't realize that was even a thing people expected. That's why I didn't really understand why that young lady that made the video "Paris made me cry" was so upset. I do agree it's hard to make friends as an adult, but trying to form friendships with strangers on a vacation seems like a hard mode challenge to start out with.

[@naejimba]

Meanwhile, depending on where you are from in the US and where you are visiting, you can definitely make friends in that short of a time and be having dinner with their family while their mother insists you take another plate of food. XD Probably a southern thing lol

[@keouine]

Same here, BUT at least a few travel vlogs or PBS shows about world travel suggest travelling gives one the chance to meet people. They come back crowing about having met some amazing people here and there. I often thought to myself, "How? Why? Who are these people?" I'd say you have to be solo staying in a rent-a-room set up with folks who regularly board travelers.

[@trishapellis]

​@@keouineWell... There's a difference between "meeting people" and "making friends". Meeting people is 1) being at a place where people go TO meet people (no stranger you come across on the street or even in a park is likely to be interested in that, but try a bar or a dance class) and 2) going into the conversation with the expectation that you'll probably never hear from this person again. The word "friend" is different from "acquaintance" for a reason. If you want to make friends in a place, you have to live there for at least a few months, go to school or work, frequent the same café or bookshop so you become a regular. When people are used to your face, you start talking to them and see if it clicks. But like... when I meet a tourist, especially an American one, I don't want to create a long-term friendship with them, because I'm never going to see them again. And if you can afford to pay thousands of dollars a year to come visit me, you probably don't want to be friends with my broke ass.

[@trishapellis]

​@@keouineOn a separate note, where I have done most of my "meeting people" while traveling has been in hostels. They tend to have a bar/lounge area that's intended for clients to mingle, and you can up the ante by sleeping in dorms (4 people, 6, 8...). Advantages: it's cheaper, and it's just about impossible to not start a conversation with someone in your dorm. Disadvantages: bring earplugs, a sleeping mask, and hope you don't have inconsiderate mofos in your dorm who spend the entire night walking in and out or being awake and loud. In my experience, Brits are dangerous to your night's rest.

[@Rubiecat]

@@naejimba if you're white, sure... brown and black people who visited the US definitely don't find it easy from what they've told me

[@Meanne77]

As a French and (born) Parisian person, if a stranger tries to small talk with me, it will instantly put me on the defensive! XD Like, why are they asking? are they trying to collect data on me? what is their ulterior motive? am i putting myself in danger if i provide personal information?

[@evinnra2779]

Well, I noticed one similarity between Australians and Americans ( people form the U.S. ) you can walk up to a stranger for whatever reason you have and you will be granted a smile or at the very least a ' how can I help you ' sort of look. It's not that you're expecting to form a friendship, but rather to show that you are not a moron without the slightest interest in humanity in general. People who fail to respond with a smile are seen as someone hurt, in trouble, in mental confusion etc.

[@LalaDepala_00]

​@@evinnra2779As a Dutchie it sounds so exhausting to be putting on a front for people all the time. If I am having a bad day, it is not my responsibility to make you think that I am having a good day.

[@nikholas7702]

France is so lame. The so called country of "brotherhood" where you can't make a little small talk...

[@blagjackette]

I'm French too, but i live in a very tiny town in south of France. The cultural shock between Paris and where i live is huge. I could never live in Paris, nor any other big city, because of that default cold eyes people give you when you try to say hello. Where i live, people just genuinely say hello and even smile at you when you meet, and it doesn't make them creepy. They are willing to help you out with anything if you seem to need it. You can even take auto-stoppers without fearing to end up killed. But in a big city, not necessarily as big as Paris, some people are mental, agressive or vicious, so i don't feel safe and i totally get why you're getting suspicious around those who try to initiate small talks. I myself already had several bad experiences in the city, almost one per day i lived there. And it has nothing to do with France, i just think people tend to lose their humanity in big cities...

[@davidpark2509]

That says more about you than them

[@XxCharmemexX]

As a Parisian, I’ll add that another greeting you can use is “Excusez-moi!” which means “Excuse me”. It’s typically used when you’re asking strangers for informations or directions or just when you’re asking a stranger to help you with something.

[@petretepner8027]

Maybe I over-ice the cake, but my approach is "Excusez-moi de vous déranger". But then, I also say "Pourriez-vous me donner un paquet de Marlboro?", to which I have received the reply "Bien sûr, je suis là pour ça."

[@XxCharmemexX]

@ Isn’t Marlboro a cigarette brand? 😂 You’re trying to fool foreigners, aren’t you? That’s wicked 😂😂 People, unless you’re looking for cigarettes, NEVER ask that! You can use « Excusez-moi de vous déranger », though. It means « Pardon me for bothering you »

[@petretepner8027]

@@XxCharmemexX J'achetais en effet des cigarettes. Mais je ne cherche à "tromper" ni les étrangers, ni mes compatriotes. Vous m'avez cependant "piégé" dans la mesure où ce que je fumais à l'époque, c'était des Gauloises et non des Marlboro. J'ai volontairement changé le nom de la marque dans mon exemple car je craignais que "Gauloises" ne soit trop stéréotypé français. Ce sur quoi j'attirais l'attention, c'était le "pourriez-vous me donner" (peut-être excessivement poli) comparé au "donnez-moi".

[@XxCharmemexX]

@ Ah, pardon 😅 J’avais mal compris, merci pour l’explication 😊

[@petretepner8027]

@@XxCharmemexX Aucun prob. J'aurais peut-être dû préciser plus tôt que je suis (exceptionnellement) anglo-belge. Bien sûr, je suis un étranger en France, mais je n'aime pas vraiment qu'on me le rappelle aussi brutalement comme on le fait souvent à Paris (plus en tant que Belge qu'en tant qu'Anglais !). Je ne voudrais pas que vous interprétiez ceci comme un commentaire anti-français, ou même anti-parisien.

[@earlyNova]

As a french, I couldn't agree more about greeting. Greetings are the key to success! Actual fact: the FIRST THINGS we learn as toddlers are greetings and politeness words: Bonjour, s'il vous plaît, merci, au revoir. (Hello, please, thank you, goodbye). These words are so ingrained in us from our earliest childhood that we're offended when an adult doesn't use them, and even a 10-year-old will give you a disapproving look for this.

[@4gma59]

As an American, I have to say that many of us feel the same about greetings. In my opinion, it is very rude not to acknowledge someone with a greeting first. I worked retail as a young person, and of course we knew it was important to greet anyone coming in the door. I was appalled if a shopper completely ignored my greeting or just acted as if I didn't exist. Any culture should find that offensive, in my opinion.

[@dtlj-p3c]

@@4gma59 It's not about giving 'a' greeting (which in the US could just be a smile and/or wave for example), it's about saying very specifically the word 'bonjour' in a specific way.

[@ic3678]

@@4gma59 I have to disagree. In North America it's perfectly acceptable to approach someone and say, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" In fact it would be super weird to say, "Excuse me, hello. Do you have the time?" which is exactly what you MUST say in French.

[@IronFreee]

Greetings and a good attitude will help you achieve better interactions. Don't be overly polite or positive, just try to be curious and courteous.

[@dtlj-p3c]

@@ic3678 I agree, except it's actually: "Hello, excuse me..."

[@abundantsolace]

In my international studies classes, we called the difference in friendliness "peach cultures" vs. "coconut cultures." Peach cultures (like the USA and most of Latin America) are soft at first but have a hard pit - they are very friendly and willing to have personal conversations with strangers, but they rarely actually want to be friends after that moment has passed. Coconut cultures (like most of Europe) have a hard husk but are soft inside. They're more reserved, so it takes much longer to get to know them, but once you do, you can be sure that they're a real friend.

[@jeffkodiac]

Exactly

[@passportonly3495]

This is so trueeee

[@emilymann1175]

Except the northeastern part of the US and New York. We are hard on the outside, AND the inside. Ok im partially joking, but The USA is so big it has like 6 cultures within it, and it always makes me laugh when people act like it is one entity.

[@Southernly]

Thank you 👍🏻

[@ultravioletgaia]

​@@emilymann1175correct. NewYorkers can be just as rude as Parisians. Midwest USA have the most 'hard husk' but 'soft inside' people I've met. They can be very reserved and prideful but very warm and true friends.

[@FlammeDuSavoir]

You have to understand that in France, nearly no one actually wears "FRENCH HATS". So in paris, french people will instantly spot tourists when they wear it. It’s ok to wear that but you have to know that you will be 100% identified as a tourist. It’s just like if parisians came to new york wearing cowboy hats. It’s so far of the actual culture that we can see that you are seeking for a fake version of the actual city/country. Hope that helps to understand 😊 Edit: i see a lot of people in the comments talking about disneyland and i find it really interesting. Wearing french hat in paris is like wearing a mickey mouse hat outside of disneyland. It’s identifiyng you as a tourist that doesnt really car about french culture.

[@mythicdawn9574]

Which is a shame, because bérets are beautiful and are actually worn in the countryside, especially in southern France where I'm from. Although I suspect it depends how you wear it, and what kind of béret you've got. Basques, Bearnais, etc. have a rustic aesthetic that comes with their bérets, there's no way a Parisian would take them for tourists. More probably (please tell me I'm wrong lol) they would assume they are "ploucs" bumpkins... xD

[@littlestarshepherd]

@@mythicdawn9574 The bérets you see worn by tourists, like the girl in the video or in Emily in Paris are mostly "bérets basques". Most French people who still wear a béret are old men (my grandfather still wears one) and their béret looks nothing like that. Most people nowadays in France associate bérets with either old men from the countryside or tourists (if a "béret basque").

[@nymphelune]

i'm french, and i absolutely LOVE wearing bérets! i wear them almost everyday :) but i'm obviously an exception, cause otherwise, as someone told in the comments below, you might see older people wear them, especially older men... and obviously tourists in paris 🎀

[@umutakyol6290]

And why aren't we supposed to be spotted as tourists like it's blasphemy?

[@LalaDepala_00]

​@@umutakyol6290Well, tourists are the number 1 target for thieves.

[@SusanDelgado1177]

"I even bought a French hat" bless her heart 🤣🤣🤣

[@christianjambou8208]

But she forgot the baguette under her arm....

[@SusanDelgado1177]

@christianjambou8208 don't forget the accordion 🤣🤣

[@pumbaa667]

She could've at least draw a 'stach on her face, guidon-de-vélo style ! That's barely the minimum to blend in France

[@Okeana_Aster]

Nobody actually wears that in France. At least not regularly and not everywhere.

[@stellviahohenheim]

she forget that to make people want to befriend you 1st you need to be hot

[@StumptownHomestead]

Ha! I didn't think Parisians were rude, but I now realize why. I've always tried to speak French first even if I struggle and we end up finishing in English. I feel like it's important to French people that I try. I've always said bonjour. I've always treated service workers w respect. I've never taken "pardon" as anything other than what people in a hurry say when you're accidentally in the way. I actually like being corrected when I say something wrong and take it as an attempt to be helpful. This is so interesting.

[@marlo8253]

basically i think we just dont wanna lose our time having to hear you struggle and also are kinda scared to make the situation awkward and plus, it's a great opportunity for us to talk english. But main reason : we know english is easier to understand people on this earth so we just want to make it easier to have a conversation 😌

[@noelsonkwa]

Nope. Go to a Latin country. 1 hola and everyone will be your best friend, so happy that you learned one word of their language. French have an inherent supremacy ingrained. A Latin country will give you their house for trying a sentence

[@thedukeofchutney468]

Funny I had a buddy who went to Paris recently, and he tried speaking French to be respectful, even though he wasn’t good at it. The Parisian at the restaurant watched him struggle and then said in perfect English not butcher their language. But then he said other Parisians hated it when he spoke English so he couldn’t win.

[@azzam593]

@@marlo8253u said everything

[@CityLights-v6u]

It's funny, because it's the same in every country. People just expect the country they want to go to to be the exception or something.

[@ninamartin1084]

The 'bonjour' thing is true all over France. When I sailed down the coast with some English people, every time we moored somewhere new and had to go into the marina cafe, I would walk in. Silence. Everybody staring at me. I said "Bonjour" and everything went back to normal, people turned back to their food and drink and carried on. The bar tender and I got into a chat and in his words, "Les anglais sont bizzares". Because in the UK walking into a crowded bar or cafe and announcing 'Hello' to everybody there would be seen as truly weird.

[@JustinCase99999]

@@ninamartin1084 small cafés with only the locals, because in a bigger place in a big city for example you say bonjour only to the waiter or owner, not the crowd of customers.

[@karenrussell8704]

I didn't know it was expected to greet everyone with 'bonjour'. No wonder I got some angry looks when I just went up to people and asked a question without a 'bonjour' first lol.

[@tabletalk33]

LOL! Isn't that true! In Mexico, for example, it's the same. Unlike English speakers, they make a BIG production out of greetings, e.g., "Buenos Días," etc. Not doing so is considered VERY rude.

[@manaji]

@@karenrussell8704 oh yeah, that's a no no no in France, literally if you do that people will think you're rude and are looking down on them. I work in a shop and even my boss won't look kindly on people who can't extend the most basic of greeting. When people don't say Bonjour, we also drop our smile, "thank you", "have a nice day" and please" in return. People will get a cold "Goodbye" and that's it 😂

[@madeleine61509]

@@manaji I work in a convenience store in France and my boss said "if a customer approaches you and asks you a question without saying hello, you refuse to serve them until they say it." Granted, it's meant to be done by just saying "Bonjour 😊" yourself, not by causing a huge stink, but that should be an indication of how important this rule is to French people.

[@positiveoutlook17]

My rule: if I want to try out my poor French, I find a senior on a bench or child. They will often have joy talking to someone trying to learn French. When I was lost one time, a sweet elderly woman spotted me and insisted on helping me find my bus stop and walked along with me and waited until my bus came. We exchanged a mutual happy bisou-bisou when the bus finally arrived. She helped a little part of me become French that day.

[@littlestarshepherd]

"Elle m'a claqué la bise" is more accurate than "bisou-bisou". XD

[@hagakure4850]

If you're an adult, avoid approaching children in a park. Or you might learn french kissing in jail. And maybe more if affinity 🫡

[@positiveoutlook17]

@@littlestarshepherd merci beaucoup, pour moi le français est un vaste mystère, mais j'essaye

[@pixalu]

Aww. I find the seniors to be especially lovely and helpful in Paris. If you look like you are looking around trying to find something they seem to pop out of the woodwork offering to help. Lol! Maybe they are retired and have nowhere particular to go and have the time to help. (And are sweet). ❤

[@sofianatali85]

If you are an adult, please don’t approach to a child you don’t know, unless the child is in danger. A lonely foreign adult approaching to a child in the park, is a big NO in any country.

[@glomon8]

I'm Italian and I like a lot the French culture, especially the fact that they are not overlyfriendly. In fact I do not like as well intrusive questions from people that I do not consider my friends

[@MCSTNDTCAFAG]

I'm French and I like a lot the Italian culture too! Being overly friendly in France is perceived as being fake. We have an expression "Reste à ta place." ruffly translated as: be aware of the other, don't violate their space. In all Latin countries, the least you can do, is to at first be polite and show restraint. This is the basis for building all relationships. Of course, this does not prevent you from being very expressive with people you know well. The same difference exists with the concept of freedom; for Americans freedom is considered as the right to do what ever you want as for Europeans it is more considered as the liberty to do something as long as it does not bother others.

[@skylark.kraken]

Absolutely, it’s how I act, I like everyone out of arms reach and expect that if someone is communicating to me it’s for a good reason and that they should recognise that if I want to communicate to them then it’s also for a good reason. I hate phatic expressions so much, I don’t ever respond to them, not responding is the limit of my lying Additionally the lack of needing to lie to appear friendly I vibe with. It’s not pessimism, there’s no point in pointing out a flaw that is to be expected or is unavoidable but if something is bad and can be fixed then why lie? Also if someone holds themself up too high then yeah cut them down so they can be more real Greeting before speaking is also something I love, I want some warning before someone says something to me because I want to feel free to live in my head and not pay attention but I just need to listen out for a couple words so I can pause, or at least just keep tabs on that this person may want to talk more in a second. I’m really bored of people talking to me without a greeting first and then acting like I’m being rude, as if I’m not allowed to just be thinking when near other people I can vibe so well with French people, we’re on the same wavelength. Never had any problems with anyone

[@Lostouille]

Me seing an italian not trying to belittle us for the first time : SUS ...

[@matteoboscolo5152]

​@@Lostouille please, stop spreading these messages! Italians love France, its culture and its people. We're rivals in many things, and we like to be dog and cat sometimes, as real brothers do, but I'm sure that there's no Italian who could sincerely speak poorly about France and really mean it.

[@Lostouille]

@@matteoboscolo5152 sorry but you are either rare or inexistant...I always come across the opposite.

[@Cotita]

As a Latin American, my first instinct when going to a restaurant in a country whose language I don't speak, is to go to the front desk and try to explain the situation and see if there's a problem with the language barrier and if they can help me or not. I can't believe Americans can literally sit down without letting the restaurant workers know they don't speak the language and straight up start speaking English presuming everyone should speak it as well, and unironically expect the French to take that nicely or otherwise they're rude 💀

[@martinasandoval5326]

My husand is French but lives in the US. He sat at a restaurant, didn't even say hello and the several immediately asked him if he only spoke English. It is not that deep. Most people in Paris will speak to you in English automatically if they hear a foreign accent, whether you speak English or not.

[@Enigmatic_572]

@Cotita you should know Latin Americans are notorious for not learning the language of the country they live in let alone as a tourist. In certain cities in the USA Latinos will make it difficult for non Spanish speakers. So I don’t think Latinos should dare speak about following cultural traditions and customs 😅😅😅.

[@Cotita]

@Enigmatic_572 False. You're talking about illegal immigrants in the USA. You can't expect illegal immigrants to respect a country's culture, that's obvious. Go to Canada and they'll say the same about Indians, go to Spain and they'll say the same about Moroccans, etc. So you should start looking outside your own country a little more. I'm **obviously** not talking about illegal immigrants. I'm talking about tourists. You'll never see a Latin American tourist presuming people should know Spanish 😂, the fact that you even suggest that as a possiblity is hilarious 😂

[@Cotita]

@gaozhi2007 Many of them are literally escaping death, I find that to be more of an acceptable excuse than the tourism situation I described 🗿. Nice saltiness by the way, take care

[@Enigmatic_572]

@ I am talking about legal residents from Latin America. Have you been to south Florida, parts of New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts. I wanted to point out the pot calling the kettle black. You actually proved my point. As a Latin American living in the USA you should leave the room. This subject isn’t where Latinos should comment on 😏😏. I just returned from Paris and agree with knowing the basics in French, Bonjour, merci, excusez-moi, l’addition svp . Respect for the people in a foreign country goes a long way as a tourist or a resident. Bonne journée !!

[@misterwhyte]

13:45 I wholeheartedly disagree. Correcting people learning a language IS helping them. If no one corrects you, you'll just keep on repeating the same mistakes. I never understood why it was considered polite in many countries to just let people make them. As far as I'm concerned, not helping someone when you can is far more rude (especially when it doesn't cost you anything to do so).

[@loridansarah7626]

For a long time I was thinking like you about that, and I still think it's could be a good thing to correct people but most of the time the way people do it is very rude. I went overbroad and when they wanted to correct my English they asked me what I meant, if they understood me well, and I think it's a good way to correct you like this because you're the one realizing your mistakes. Often in France we place ourselves like a professor and it seems we look down on the people. I personally don't correct a stranger but when it's an acquaintance I asked them if they want me to correct them to help them with their French. And also for me it's important to take time and do it with a smile.

[@petretepner8027]

@@loridansarah7626 Belgians, Swiss and Québécois certainly find it disagreeable when "les Français de la France" take it upon themselves to "correct" us. There's no problem if they just say "Ici nous disons..." or "Notre mot pour cela est..." : that's useful information. But all too often it is done with the implication that we speak French "wrong". We are (usually) already doing our best to adapt our French to that of France, a courtesy which French visitors to our countries rarely repay us.

[@petretepner8027]

@@loridansarah7626 Nonobstant mon autre commentaire, et bien que je sois entièrement d'accord avec le vôtre, je ne peux m'empêcher de commenter votre utilisation du mot _overbroad,_ qui semble être un mot-valise formé par le téléscopage de _abroad_ (”à l'étranger“) et _overseas_ (”outre-mer"). Le sens propre de _overbroad_ est ”excessivement large“, et dire ”I went overbroad" risque de donner l'impression d'avoir acquis un peu trop d'embonpoint. 🙂 En tout état de cause, à ne pas confondre avec "I went overboard", dont le sens propre est "je suis tombé par-dessus bord (d'un bateau/navire)", mais qui signifie au sens figuré "J'ai dépassé les bornes."

[@firestorm165]

I partially agree. If you're correcting mistakes how it's delivered matters, personally I appreciate a more blunt approach as I view it as more authentic. Others on the other hand could very easily misidentify it as condescension

[@cecilelpt5808]

personally i ask them if they want to be corrected or not

[@cyclox73]

I didn’t find France/Paris any different than other countries/cities I’ve visited in Europe. The people I interacted with in Paris were friendly and very patient. I’ve learned that if I do my homework (like watching videos like this), learning some key phrases in the native language and being polite has worked out really well for me. I’m also not the typical American who loves small talk and like Parisians I also like my personal space… so that probably helped too. Great video!

[@LucileHR]

Thanks for watching! I agree, doing your homework before going somewhere will set you up right!!

[@buddys_dad]

@@LucileHRyes! I’ve been to France a dozen times and love the French people. Research when you travel is key.

[@juulian1306]

This! Even if I don't know much else I try to learn the most important polite expressions. A greeting in someone's native language can go a long way even if you have to switch to another language for the rest of the conversation.

[@felicianomiko5659]

Yeah, the personal space thing is so odd to me because I am all about my personal space and am uncomfortable too close to people and I always considered that a very American trait. Always thought people in other countries were less concerned with personal space, as that was basically what we were taught. Though people in Japan were perfectly cordial and kept good personal space I thought and they live very close together. So odd, but that makes me happy as I like my personal space.

[@perfectallycromulent]

@@LucileHR If you're going to a country for two or three days, how much homework should you do? Especially if you're going to more than one. I went to Austria, Poland, Hungary, and Czechia within the space of 10 days. How many words in how many languages should I have learned?

[@iyasugames]

I swear some people travel and think everywhere is Disneyland. As long as you're polite and at least try to speak the local language, you'll be fine in most places

[@enriquesanchez2001]

Then OTHER people travel and think everywhere is WALMART! Yikes!

[@MrJannieti]

Well, the more I improved my French, the more I was disappointed with interaction. Because at first I thought that the problem was in the lack of knowledge of the language and it was the root of all the misunderstandings and attitude. But as I become fluent in French I discovered that French people cab be deliberately mean to you, while being very polite. What strikes me most is that being impolite is perceived as a horrible crime, while being mean, passive agressive, gaslighting is something completely normal in the interaction. Another funny fact - french people what you to play by their rules, but they will never properly explain you those rules and what exactly the expect. Being a foreigner is not an excuse at all for not knowing something. You will say - not all French people are like this, there are very sweet people out there etc.. True. But my general experience was regularly horrible. At some point you just stop giving a shit about it, because no matter how hard you try you will stay that weird stranger for them. And I feel it particularly unhealthy when you have to struggle and earn the love of the people instead of normal adult communication.

[@eddieg6436]

@@enriquesanchez2001…..Agree!! This is why they’re called “Ugly Americans”. !🤷🏼‍♂️😂

[@filiaaut]

I'll add that even in Disneyland, you should try to be polite. I remember someone complaining that when he went to Disneyland Paris, a Chinese father behind him had a big backpack that couldn't go on the ride, he tried to help him because he heard him struggling with English, he took the backpack from the dad held it towards the workers, and asked them where he should put it, in English. He complained that even though the employees had a tag that indicated they spoke English, they froze several seconds, pretended not to understand what he said the first few times even though he was holding the backpack to their face, and that instead of trying to help, the French people in the queue didn't help at all and looked at him funny. When we asked him if he said hello first, because it seemed like the most likely reason why everyone would behave like he was the rude one even though he was trying to help that Chinese family, he answered that he didn't remember, and that it didn't matter, the employees are here to help, that's their whole point, they should be polite, smiling and hardworking regardless of the behaviour of the customers. I think at these point, even other Americans started to say that this isn't a way to interact with service workers. Handing people your stuff without a greeting is very, very rude, it's basically akin to treating them like your personal man servants, it won't go over well, people will judge you. I think the employees froze at first because they didn't expect that kind of interaction. Bonjour is a prerequisite to any interaction that lasts more than a few words, but especially so if you require some help, even if it's the other person's job, they're still a person first and someone who is paid to help you second. Even if they wear a Disneyland or a McDonald's uniform. There are definitely French people who treat employees poorly, there are rude people everywhere, but, yeah, someone being paid to work here isn't an excuse for not treating them with respect.

[@yw9372]

@@filiaautwhy didn’t the employees help the Chinese father in the first place?

[@hagendf]

“I even got a French hat!” Oh man… The thing about Paris is that it’s been overrun by tourists for decades and the locals are exhausted from it. It’s happening in other cities too like Barcelona. Also I realized something about the French from your description, by comparison the French are a very introverted culture. Which I actually like a lot of the time.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

Yep, that's the part where I winced, too. It just screams "I spend some much time prepping for this trip, I watched every _Emily in Paris_ episode _twice_ , now where are all the hot white guys eager to solve my problems for me?" Poor thing, I can just imagine the comments she got on _that_ . There are "Emilina in Paris" shorts which might have been helpful, you can probably guess what the French heroine acts like ... I'm guessing that young lady is US american, and IMO mainstream US culture still has a hard time letting go of it's European stereotype, and of course part of that is that the _good_ Europeans are all thrilled AF to meet US Americans. And "Emily in Paris" is the pinnacle of that, it's like they're trying to act like they're stuck in the 60ies. Poor creature, if she shelled out a lot of money expecting to cos-play that show ... ouch. Yeah, no wonder she's crying.

[@rael.5967]

Um you said tourist but I think you meant illegal immigrant.

[@sonofwar6206]

The fench culture is not same in North South east or West or island, so yes in west/center is rude or condescendant and east is introverted but in north or south

[@Crocrobon]

@@rael.5967 wtf are you talking about, you’re not even French. Don’t talk for us, especially to say dumb and racist things like that.

[@osimeon00]

Introverted by what standard?

[@HannaBenana]

I had a great time in Paris. Everyone was generally friendly, I tried to speak French and it seemed respected. I introduced myself as not American but Texan and everyone asked me about my horse, haha. One guy got so excited he went "oooooh! Yehaw?!" I just gave him a yehaw back and it was hilarious.

[@elatafalando]

You sound stupid when you introduce yourself as texan and not American. Nobody is obligated to know your country's states. Stop doing this.

[@towanda1067]

I was on a four month teaching assignment in Paris and I did not find Parisians rude at all. Maybe that’s because I tried to blend in. I bought a scarf, ditched my sneakers, was always polite, didn’t expect people to speak English, studied up on cultural norms, and was appreciative of any kindness I did get. I had a great time and have become a life-long francophile.

[@casgirl_sheha3159]

I remembered running for a metro, and the button on my jacket popped out and rolled away. A French guy ran after it, and returned to me unsmiling haha. It's objectively a very kind gesture! Also, I got stuck in the turnstile, and another Parisian just said, let me help you out. Oh oh, and don't get me started on the handsome men in uniform patrolling the metro station, and they just nodded at me, and said bonjour. I've always had a lovely time in Paris, and find them very kind. :)

[@karenbertke3149]

My friend Sonya (a white-blond haired girl) received no less than 4 marriage proposals during our 14 day trip through France...

[@LisaMartin-r1n]

@@karenbertke3149 wth

[@MetaCulte]

@@karenbertke3149 were they really "French"? 😂

[@obrechenx]

it's almost as if someone doesnt need to tap dance and smile for every single helpful thing they do for someone! whoa! haha

[@osimeon00]

​@@karenbertke3149I'll take things that never happened for 1000 Alex.

[@JHH-n1m]

"It's totally okay to match the attitude of the customer." This, 100%. One thing I tell people all the time is that if you give attitude to French workers, rest assured that they will square it and give it back to you. I think it's because they take égalite quite seriously. Personally, I love it. In decades of visiting France, I have had only one bad experience in France when a vendor made fun of how I asked for cheese. e

[@fontainerouge]

They might grovel in a luxury shop but everywhere else no one is gonna take sh*** for 10-25€ 😅

[@Clery75019]

Yeah that is very true. Looking down at people is very badly seen in France and will immediately be answered with reciprocity, no matter the context. As a matter of fact, I had the opposite experience in Singapore where every retailers were talking to me as if I was some kind of superior Master and it deeply embarassed me, I didn't know how to behave.

[@Clery75019]

@@Casualphilosopher-db9gy According to my experience, you can have good and bad customers service as much in France than in any other country. The only difference I can see is that people in France will be more honest and tell it when they don't want to do what you're asking for, whereas in Anglosphere countries they will throw a bs pretext that everyone knows is bs but will pretend is not.

[@filiaaut]

​@@Casualphilosopher-db9gyAsking someone for help without saying Hello first is akin to treating them like your personal servant, your slave, even, in France. We are taught from a young age to always greet before interacting with someone, because doing otherwise is akin to refusing to acknowledge they are a person, same as you are. Do I sometimes forget? Yes, occasionally, everyone does. And if you do, when the other person greets you, you have a second shot to be polite, answer in kind, maybe give a short apology if they seem a little pissed and in all likelihood, the balance is restored, and the rest of the interaction is going to go smoothly. If you persist at refusing to say hello at that point, how is the person supposed to belive you "just forgot" and "didn't do it to claim your superiority on them", they literally said the words, if you had repeated them, you would be in the clear. Errare humanum est, sed perseverare diabolicum. They'll still do their job at that point, but you can't expect them to be happy about it, and, in France, they are unlikely to pretend everything is fine when you offended them. No one will fault them for being passive aggressive, because you were first, and being a client doesn't give you the right to do that. You've commented several time, it seems like you disagree fundamentally about French culture, it's fine that your culture is different, but when in Rome, do as the Romans do. If you think your own culture is superior, that's your opinion, it doesn't give you the right to impose it to other people. We, French, did that, historically, didn't end well, still ashamed about it (as we should).

[@shinajade8172]

​Teenage behavior yes, you may encounter in a few teenage workers. I'm French. I started to work in restaurants and retail in my late thirties and the only colleagues I had who could not handle politely some hard customers were definitely teenagers, 19-20 years old just starting to work and who had quit school early. All the other people i worked with, and I, always professional even when they were just older like 22-23 years old. They managed to help and satisfy even the angry or crazy or disappointed customers. That said, in France we all share the idea that everybody must be treated as equal, even if it's not always easy to achieve, and that paying doesn't give you any supremacy on anyone as we are in a human to human relationship. Just as people said in the previous comments. ​@@Casualphilosopher-db9gy

[@leflo_]

I had the reverse experience. I'm french and was studying in Argentina where I met some american girls. When my stay ended they said that they will come to France next summer. And then I was at the start of summer in France starting to plan things out for them, saying that I'm maybe not free during summer because I will be going out with some americans. But the summer passed and I never had any come back. They never sent a text message or anything. That's when I understood that they were not coming. And that was my culture shock, because I first felt as if they are just forgetting me or something, then I thought that they never meant it in the first place, and being fake. And now I understand they were trying to be polite. And that's indeed not what I first think about when someone say they wanna do something with me. I feel almost it as being fake

[@samaval9920]

Some languages use NON literal 1) A recent video does that Chinese custom about receiving gifts-receiver and rejects 1st 2 times, but to accept that on 3rd time. 2) Some peopevsaybyuat key ti decipher offers- A) if offer is vague-- NO specific concrète Time or place .= a polite but empty (non) offer, B) If offer is specific & concrete about time & place, then it is real. BUT/-/ HOW do native children & foreign children & adults find out?!

[@leflo_]

@@Casualphilosopher-db9gy The thing is it was like april, and they were talking about the following summer. And they were wealthy enough to have such a trip planned just 2 weeks prior. I didn't really waited for them or anything, just told friends that they may come and I will be busy if they do, and I planned some things here are there to make some visit tour for them if they come. No big deal in the end. Just I was disappointed that it was just something they said to appear as being nice.

[@frederic4844]

@@Casualphilosopher-db9gy That is a cultural difference. If we say « I will come and visit you next summer », we do mean it and it’s a commitment. If we had wanted to say « I might come and visit you next summer », we would just have said that and that wouldn’t be a commitment. We have a saying « La parole vaut l’homme ou l’homme ne vaut rien »…

[@frederic4844]

@@Casualphilosopher-db9gy That is a cultural difference. If we say « I will come and visit you next summer », we do mean it and it’s a commitment. If we had wanted to say « I might come and visit you next summer », we would just have said that and that wouldn’t be a commitment. We have a saying « La parole vaut l’homme ou l’homme ne vaut rien »…

[@MiljaHahto]

​@@frederic4844Similarly in my county. We say something like "it would be marvellous to visit" - in conditional! - if it's just a nice idea and not something we really plan to or assume to be able to follow.

[@toofelin]

I moved to Germany in my 20's and lived there for 5 years. This advice is PERFECT for Germany, too!! It took me a lot of work to figure out some of these differences, but once you do, things make much more sense and can help you feel much more at ease! Thank you for articulating these points so clearly and kindly.

[@jeffj5080]

These are really great tips. We went to Paris for the first time this year and were pleasantly surprised by how patient and polite everyone was, but we always made an effort to say bonjour, merci, and our best attempt at speaking French. The only time we noticed someone having a negative interaction was exactly the scenario you described: someone did not say bonjour at a boulangerie and did not get the hint when the staff member repeatedly said "Bonjour!!!" to them.

[@LucileHR]

lol I can visualize this exact scene of someone saying Bonjour louder and louder in a sassy way

[@ophelie-danse]

"Il a pas dit bonjour. On va lui niquer sa mère". Vald 🎶😂

[@Sandikal]

I spent three days in Paris last month. This was my second visit. Although I studied French in high school in the Seventies, I was too intimidated to use it when we went in 2021. This time, I went after having learned the magic of saying "good day" in the language of whatever country I'm in. In Germany, it's "Guten tag", in Prague, it's "Dobry den", in Paris it's "Bon jour". Just greeting people before you talk to them is such a game changer. And, it gave me confidence to try using my very broken French. A few Parisians even told me that my French was good! (It was really terrible and I freely admit it.) I managed to have a lovely conversation with a woman working at a tea house in Strasbourg whose English was more limited than my French. That was very satisfying. Moral of the story is to learn the polite phrases for whatever country you go to. It opens doors. One last thought--If you think Parisians are tough about the language, there are a lot of Americans who get really combative with people speaking languages other than English when they are in America. I've seen it in real life, not just in videos. It's really embarrassing that we expect people in other countries to speak English and we also expect people to speak English when they are hear. It's so hypocritical.

[@PhilipHGaskin]

Well done! Very true. Thank you.

[@LucileHR]

I absolutely love this tip of learning how to say hello everywhere you go!

[@minime7375]

Tbh I do expect people who work in customer service, especially in tourist-y areas, to speak at least basic English, it’s the modern lingua franca. No matter the country I’m in, and note that my native language isn’t English. I’m fairly fluent in French but I refuse to speak it beyond bonjour in French speaking countries like Belgium or Luxembourg because they answer in French and I don’t understand their dialects😁 And all the French people I’m closer with prefer to “practice their English”☺️ English is a very easy language and learning it is a small effort for being able to communicate with everyone.

[@davidperry7128]

@@minime7375 Sorry but that is part of the problem, most French people would see that as arrogance. You expect them to pander to you, you are being disrespectful. Why should French people learn English? Do the English who work in London learn French or German, no.

[@zenmariac7956]

I agree it is hypocritical, and Americans are uncommonly fortunate to have so many English speakers to rely on around the world which permits them to be lazy in culture and linguistics - BUT that could be argued in reverse as well. Americans often get judged harshly for expecting immigrants who moved to America to learn the culture and the language, and instead, Americans are expected to allow many micro-cultures and multilingual neighborhoods which leads to a lot of conflict even though most would assume the culture is why people would move to the USA in the first place - I would not dream to expect that if I moved to France or Italy or Korea or Japan - and why would I move there if not for the culture and language? They rightly should be able to preserve their culture and language and should be able to expect visitors and immigrants to learn appropriately how to navigate it.

[@arslongavitabrevis5136]

I am Italian, and my French is not very good. However, I did not have much trouble in France, perhaps because I was brought up to be polite and formal. I do NOT understand how people need to be told to be polite! I noticed that most people who complain about "French rudeness" are Americans; well, perhaps if they make an effort to understand that people from other countries DO NOT behave like Americans because they have a culture of their own, things would be different. The English used to be the same, but they have improved (up to a point...) Politeness and common sense are all you need to have a nice holiday abroad.

[@Dererumnatura99]

Yes totally. And American should know that the opposite exists. For me and other French people its often weird and uncany how north Americans can look fake with big smiles and loud voices. They try hard look friendly but nothing is true and they are definitely not your friend. Pretty hard when your knew in town and really thought your were making friends. But you can be forgotten quickly.

[@duitk]

​@@Dererumnatura99 the smiles are not necessarily fake, North Americans(yes this goes for Canadians and Mexicans/Central Americans) are genuinely friendly, that does not mean they want to establish a long term friendship on the spot. However it IS easier to make friends in north America, sometimes you really do make a friend on the spot. Europeans also have to understand, North Americans are usually not trying to be rude and adjusting to other cultures takes time and hard work. European tourists also stick out in the US and that is fine, if I know the other person is a tourist I will try to accommodate their cultural differences a bit more, I'll be more forgiving of things that I find rude, after all they probably don't even know what is rude or not. I don't want them to stop being themselves just so that they dont offend me by accident.

[@onlinefornow]

Please don't stereotype Americans. A lot of us have good manners and we are very polite in other countries. And a lot of us are polite to others when they come visit the US. Many great friendships made that way.

[@onlinefornow]

@@Dererumnatura99 I have had French people also act like they had become close friends to me only to show me they weren't. I am confused by it and it may be the culture clash and it felt fake for sure, but I didn't let it deter me from trying to get to know more French people and get better in speaking French. But I should mention, American smiling is not meant to be fake. It is part of a greeting and non-verbal communication that we give each other to say things without words. Smiles are highly functional in our culture and there are different kinds of smiles that we use to mean different things. People who are new to American culture may not understand it right away but the more they live in our culture, the more they will be able to read what the smiles mean and why we use them. Incidentally, I did notice in the malls in France that look like the malls in the US (and the same exact brands, so basically, malls due to globalization), the French retail workers were acting like American retail workers. They would smile extra to convey politeness and being approachable and would ask similar questions of the customers. That I attribute to the larger, globalized company ("corporate") telling them how to act and be with the public. So, I started to see French people acting "like Americans" but then realized, the companies may be stressing certain types of interactions with customers globally, in general.

[@fiedelmina]

I am (German-speaking) Swiss and I do have to say that some French people, specially Parisians, still feel rude to me, even if our own culture has a strong accent on politeness and distance. I think the difference can be that there is an ideal of politeness which includes (superficial) friendlyness such as smiling at someone when being polite, or shaking hands (we do that a lot or at least did until the pandemic), and also glossing over negative things and using euphemism, while on the other hand a culture like the Parisian or also northern German one means politeness is being distanced, unsmiling and just direct. Both feel they are being polite and keeping a polite distance but the people from the "smiley-euphemistic-politeness"-culture may feel that the people from the "direct-factual-politeness"-culture are being rude to them.

[@Strasbourg22]

Who in the world would make friends in 6 days in their travel? Unless the young woman in question stays in youth hostel, share a large room with other backpackers, and participate in social events every evening with them, expecting friendship while being a passing tourist is a bizarre idea. My daughter and her husband have been living in the same very large apartment complex in Southern CA for more than 15 years and they don't have any friends there. We've been living in the same location in France for 3 years and know many people with whom we exchange greetings daily, but we don't expect to be friends with them any time in the near future. How exactly is she defining friendship, I wonder.

[@christinemarshall1366]

Saying "bonjour" before starting a conversation, entering a doctors' surgery, restaurant, at the supermarket checkout etc, it is common throughout France.

[@TheRacerRich]

I always spoke French (began learning when I was 5), but that never helped, once I learned that you always start with Bonjour it was like a cheat code. I actually quite like the French now. As a brown person, the Germans, Swiss, and Western Austrians are all quite racist towards me. The French never care what color I am - so long as I am well-dressed and well-mannered and make the slightest attempt to speak their language, they treat me well.

[@minasecte]

"Bonjour it was like a cheat code", nice one 😂

[@AustrianPainter14]

Access to Europeans is not a human right

[@thefrenchbastard1646]

I guess it's refreshing for a black man to be judged on the clothes you wear instead of the color of there skin but it's just classisme at the end of the day

[@xardiodrack1798]

In france being openly racist is a big taboo and beside the worst offender they gonna have basic politness in public

[@lebell79]

"aS a bRoWn pErSoN" get over yourself, we don't care about your race, it's probably you.

[@WoodyGamesUK]

About the 'bonjour', it's absolutely true. French people are being rude because you are rude if you don't say hello. And just starting with "excusez-moi" won't really do. You need the bonjour. And that applies when you enter a shop, or start interacting with anyone. And don't treat workers or anyone you see as lower class with contempt. THAT is rude. You need to treat everyone as equal.

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

Or they could just think for a second and realize you are just a foreigner and do not know the rule yet

[@MahiMahi-yu5jo]

​@@anainesgonzalez8868 People from practically every country in the world start conversation with a polite Hello and a Good morning/afternoon/evening thrown in. Japanese, Indian, Thai, Singaporean, Arab... Why is it so hard for Americans to say a hello? Are you going to lose your ability to speak? Or do you think you're just that special?

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

@ it won’t come as natural when you do not know the language

[@antoinepierre7589]

@@anainesgonzalez8868 what you don't understand, is that only north americans don't know how to behave in France. Cunts are everywhere but north americans should try to be more polite with people they don't know. If i know it's a bad thing in Japan to "force" a worker to say "no" to you, then i will not insist if the worker disguise a "no" with a shitty excuse. I will just understand and respect that. That's just common sense and basics of politness all over the world. Except maybe in the US apparently...

[@StumptownHomestead]

​@@anainesgonzalez8868 In every country I've visited, they offer you the correct greeting (for that time of day) when you enter the door, and you just have to repeat it back. Bonjour, Bom dia, Morgen.

[@camilyasmagul7616]

I am a foreign master student in France and I speak some French (B1). At the beginning of my arrival I was so surprised that everyone greets you wherever you go, which is not a thing in my country. Even if you bump into an unfamiliar person on the stairs, you have to say Bonjour. And I think this is actually cool. And I have been here for two month already, but I was never judged for my unripe French, on the contrary, people are always supportive and slow down their speech so that I can follow them. Rude people are everywhere, not just in France :)

[@TrexaterrediffTwitch]

yes and if someone wants to learn our language we will be happy to help them get better if they are interested

[@mariannegiroud8131]

B1 is quite a good language level already, and by living in the country it will even get better. Congratulations !

[@christinelamb1167]

Something I forgot to add in my previous comment is that I'm glad to hear that in France, people don't ask "how are you?" unless there's a reason to do so. I am American, but I hate the custom of always asking someone "how are you?", when in fact they couldn't care less!

[@MissGourmandefr]

Nah we do, just not to strangers. But like in the workplace every day every morning…and you are expected to respond positively even if you are feeling like shit I agree it’s tiring especially if you don’t care lol

[@richardsteiner8992]

I don't ask such questions unless I am genuinely interested, and I almost always am, but I'm also a midwesterner so my attitude may be different from other places in the US. There isn't a point to putting on an act ... if I feel a certain way, you will learn directly.

[@danielx555]

I just stayed at a small boutique hotel in Key West. The owner greeted me, gave him my key, walked me to my room, then left without speaking. Later, when I found out that he was French, I realized that he was being polite. One of my rules for traveling is that you should never do anything you don't see other people doing. Obey the social customs and learn from watching everyone else. Like, in a bar in the UK, watch how people order. They don't just walk up and throw an order at the bartender. They wait to be asked.

[@LivingBobby]

Lucile’s proof that French people aren’t rude... unless I forget to say Bonjour to her 🤣

[@LucileHR]

then it's over haha

[@enriquesanchez2001]

@@LucileHR

[@carolynrude2830]

She is proof how lovely the French can be

[@bip5395]

That only means they respond with the rudeness to your original rude behaviour, quite simple 😂

[@EdDunkle]

There's a live streaming guy in Paris and if you don't say Bonjour when you join the chat he gets a little miffed.

[@Alphalastar]

C'est l'une des meilleures explications sur les différences dans la façon dont les gens interagissent. C'est précis , et loin des poncifs un peu vagues qu'on peut croiser. Tous ces points je les ai remarqués quand j'ai déménagé aux US. Mention spéciale au classique "we should hangout sometime!", alors que c'est vraiment pas nécessaire, je vois toujours pas en quoi c'est poli mdr 😁

[@LucileHR]

"we should hangout sometime!" => ça me rappelle de mauvais souvenirs juste de lire ça haha

[@JeffLaRochelle]

Lol ça ressemble peut-être à "je veux envahir à nouveau ton espace personnel." pour un Parisien?

[@Alphalastar]

@@JeffLaRochelle C'est pas vraiment une question d'envahir l'espace personnel, juste de faire trop de promesses sans donner de suite, uniquement pour paraître plaisant

[@JeffLaRochelle]

@@Alphalastar Ahh je comprends, et oui ils peuvent être un peu superficiel de cette façon-là. Ou du moins, ils le semblent.

[@missaliceonefrenchwordaday7955]

Olala, j'ai mis un temps fou à comprendre à quel point l'abord amical des américains est trompeur...

[@romantic_fantasy_life]

As a Korean, the cultural difference you talk about is so interesting! I always think Koreans are pretty rude, well, we never ever say hello to the people we meet in the elevator nor do we help other people who are obviously in need of help in many cases. When I visited Paris this spring, when my mother was having trouble with her huge luggage in the metro station(as we didn't know we wouldn't have elevators..), so many people helped her. But then, Koreans tend to learn in school that we are polite people because we follow the rules of Confucius😂 I agree with you that being polite means different things in different cultures! (p.s., Korean elders are quite friendly and they do help a lot. This is a country where the generation gap is huge.)

[@LucileHR]

So interesting! I loved reading your perspective since I spent a month in Korea a year ago and I really loved it!

[@Fierie333]

I went to South Korea Seoul for my 18th birthday trip. Everyone was so so so kind, polite, and also I noticed how absolutely beautiful and well dressed & groomed people were..! 🥰

[@romantic_fantasy_life]

We tend to be a little more friendly and nicer to people who are obviously foreigners, because you are guests and guest should feel happy! I'm glad you guys had great time in Korea!

[@한을정-g1l]

I just think the Seoulites are Parisians,Newyorkers in Korea lol But I'm pretty sure not all people in big fast cities would be so cold like that

[@DrRenee1]

When I went to Seoul a few years ago, I did not find Koreans to be rude. In fact, I found them to be helpful, since every time I opened a map, a nearby Korean would suddenly start speaking English and try to help me get to my destination.

[@akileas5537]

l’erreur que font beaucoup de touristes est de penser que Paris est identique à ce que l’on voit dans les films

[@ykjo5613]

5:55 I don't know why she expects ppl to care about her, what is this "indifference" she speaks of? If you travel alone, don't show up in places like it's summer camp and you'll make lifelong friends. My experiences in France, ESPECIALLY in Paris (but also NYC and many other places), people are SOOOO nice to me! She should at least know how to say basic things in French, or TRY. One man took me to dinner at Paul Bocuse in Lyon, five French police escorting me down a hill in Nice (no idea why, it was perfectly safe), guys taking me on motorcycle rides in Marseille, etc. Mind you I would never wear a beret first off, and I also don't expect ppl to cone up and be my friend. But it happens. ALL.THE.TIME. I guess it's not like that for others.

[@magdamundt9483]

Very, VERY valuable information. I was never in France, but I have a lot of experience in Germany, where my daughter lives. I had to learn, too. Germany is surprisingly similar to France: the personal distance, the absence of small talk, not a lot of smiles, honesty in relationships, good manners. Maybe it's not all about being French, but European? I'm Brazilian, so you can easily imagine the culture schock. But once I grew on it, once I understood how things work... it made me feel more at ease than in my own country. Free from the pressure to be super-ultra nice and gay 24/7. As an introvert Brazilian... it came as a blessing 😄!! It doesn't mean people in Germany are not helpful and gentle, on the contrary, when they see you're really trying! I can count on the fingers of one hand the bad reactions during many, MANY visits to Germany. What I think? When you're in another country, it really pays off to make a good effort to OBSERVE and LEARN their ways - and please don't be arrogant about YOUR ways...

[@LisaMartin-r1n]

the pressure of being gay hahahaha

[@Lostouille]

We are just the coldest latins (maybe Romanians are colder ?). Lisa Martin you gay too ❤🤨

[@sandraankenbrand]

​@@LisaMartin-r1ngay is an old word for joyous

[@sandraankenbrand]

​@@Lostouillegay is an old word for joyous

[@LisaMartin-r1n]

@@sandraankenbrand I know it's just funny in that sentence

[@tunderhay]

Apologies to the lovely Lucile if I’m re-tracing what’s in her video, but I had to get my own observations out before even watching it. I’ve just returned from two weeks in France, visiting Paris, Limoges, and Bordeaux. Without exception, every person I met was lovely. The “secret” code to cracking France is to behave as a French person does - manners, manners, manners. Always open every interaction with a polite or friendly “bonjour”, end with a “merci” and “au revoir”, and remember to use “s’il vous plait”. If you speak only English, learn to say “Parlez-vous anglais?” instead of asking “Do you speak English?”. Don’t be loud in public, and practice common courtesy by not blocking the way of others. Follow these basic rules and you will go very far. A rude French person is likely one you’ve inadvertently offended by not learning these basic rules. I have one other tip for those brave enough to try to speak some French - the surest way to speak English in France is to attempt to speak French. Counter-intuitive, I know, but if people know English, they will be happy to speak it with you if you don’t make the assumption that they already know it. I can’t tell you how happy you will make people when you make an effort, even if your French is very bad. They will respond in kind. You have a beautiful and wonderful country, mes cousins français. I hope to someday call it my home.

[@LucileHR]

I love reading your observation, and read every single comment, so no need to apologize :) And I love this "A rude French person is likely one you’ve inadvertently offended by not learning these basic rules." => so true haha

[@HabaneroTi]

Yes! Exactly! Be polite, say bonjour, try your best to learn and respect local customs and traditions and fit in to the extent possible, remember that you're a guest in other peoples' country, and you should be fine. That's been my experience, and most Parisians aren't snooty like some people like to believe. They're just...French, which is different from being American, Chinese or British.

[@csrollyson]

Isn't it strange that we Americans need to remind ourselves to observe distance, boundaries, and be courteous? What does it say about our culture? Blessings for "calling it your home." It is a beautiful place and people and culture.

[@cheezycrusty]

@@csrollyson As a french I don't think it says much about your culture except that it's a different one ;) I went to the US and never felt disrespected by the distance/boundaries not being the same as in my country!

[@Absurdities-q9p]

​@@cheezycrustythat's the difference, in us differences ,diversity is accepted and people are tolerant towards different kind of mannerisms while in France maybe you have to behave like a French person to be safe.

[@renaissanceman8687]

As a Brit I found interactions with Service staff in Paris to be ‘about right’. Did the Bonjour and tried to fumble my way through Seondary School level French with a ‘Parlez Vous Anglais?’ When stuck Had a few nice conversations in English after in the quieter shops and even when busy staff seemed genuinely nice. Perhaps the ‘English reserve’ is nearer to the French manners approach than Americans ‘small talk’ but I was pleasantly Surprised at how it meshed well 😎

[@dalriada7554]

I suspect the rivalry between France and England is because we're actually quite alike. :)

[@Sine-gl9ly]

​@@dalriada7554Yes, we are more similar than we dare admit, and there is a degree of mutual admiration _and_ envy of each other, which is best displayed in our constant mockery and insults towards each other.

[@darksharkix7959]

u.k got same rules than belgium and france about many manner to talk to someone yes. But many tourist when they visit another country they forget they are not at home, i have see some u.k tourist not even saying hello, excuse me or thank you while visiting spain but i know they was just bad u.k, every country have du mb people who go visit other country and are rude becose they feel superior and make pass their country for du mb, i know most u.k are nice, not like the tourist i've seen and i feel sorry for your Queen's guards when i see video with du mb tourist don't understanding that tradition and thinking it's just a for the fun they stand like that ...

[@emmanuelbuu7068]

Indeed! Bri'ish and French culture are closer than American culture 😊

[@bitchette]

Oh absolutely ! Brits are among the best customers, and the Belgians too ! Very polite people, observant, discreet, and who apply the "your place, your rules" rule. Perfect !

[@alcarynn]

So tourists are shocked because visiting another country means the culture is likely different there? How self-centered does one have to be, to be shocked that French people have their own social codes and so on?

[@Livewell-xgi]

I’ve experienced rudeness there mainly when I spoke English. I quickly learnt and would start speaking Spanish. That changed everything.

[@nirmalp89]

I was in Paris during the first week of the Olympics this year and I was SHOCKED at how welcoming and warm the French people were. Maybe it was the Olympic spirit, but I had dozens of interactions with French people who asked us unprompted if we were having a good time (yes we were in large thanks to the people!). Its possible that a lot of the people were INTRA-France tourists from other parts outside of Il-de-France, but it was so incredible that it left the opposite impression of rudeness: Paris is one of the most welcoming places we've ever been! What I learned is to not have any preconceived ideas about a place!

[@LucileHR]

Paris during the Olympics was SO NICE! I had a similar experience to yours!

[@rosiebowers1671]

@@LucileHR I visited family during the Olympics, an was bracing myself for the usual reverse culture shock ("what on earth is this cashier's problem?!... oh right, I'm not in North America right now, French standards apply") but absolutely everyone I interacted with was super extra nice (not in Paris, so I have no idea what was up with that). Not saying everyone is normally abrasive --many people are genuinely lovely--but you absolutely have to count with the occasional abrasiveness by North-American standards.

[@rosiebowers1671]

I never understood the whole "Parisians are so nasty, as compared to the rest of France" rhetoric. First of all, not many people can afford living in Paris intra muros by now, it's become unaffordable to all but a few. Meaning most people you meet in Paris do not live in Paris. Second, "Parisians" are largely an abstraction. The people who do live in Paris were not born there in their large majority, nor will they stay forever, they're just living there for a purpose (eg work). I've lived ten years in Paris. Was I a rude monster for ten years of my life but perfectly nice before and after? I don't think so.

[@cuttlefishagain]

yeah that's def not the norm. I lived in France for 7 years (one of them being in Paris)

[@miyabihyatt]

If I remember well during the Olympics, Paris was also filled with more people from other part of France than usual, while some Parisians took their vacations to go outside of Paris.

[@karenbertke3149]

14:29 A woman in a store asked people waiting for the dressing room what they thought of the outfit she was trying on (as well as her friends), and I don't think she was expecting my answer, but I explained why she was uncertain of the outfit. I sew, so I am very aware of both fit and color. The skirt was hitting her in all the wrong places, and the color was picking up her sallow undertones. She got back into her clothes and I took the time to show her how clothes should fit her body, and some colors that go well with her skin tone. (I have the same sallow undertones so I am very experienced in color problems.) I picked out 4 full outfits for her and then her problem was which one did she like the least, which made me proud of that she wanted all of them. She was particularly happy that her bad look cost more than three of the looks I picked out. Expensive doesn't mean it's the best choice.

[@yaowsers77]

so i'm a solo traveler. solo traveling is very different than traveling with someone else. you have no one to share anything with. you have to be ok with that. you're not traveling to make friends. it's important to keep that in mind. lol but at the same time, it's ok to make friends. that's a bonus. it's also important to not go in with such high expectations or you'll be more easily disappointed. accept things for what they are and be realistic. most big cities in the world share the same things: there's going to be garbage somewhere at some point on the streets, locals aren't all going to be friendly the way you expect, things will cost more, there will be rules that unless you're from a big city, you need to learn or you'll piss off the locals. also, every single travel person i watch on youtube says to learn at least a few basic words or phrases in the language of the place you're visiting. i worked with kids for over 25 years. i always told them the world doesn't revolve around them. apparently adults need to hear that too. i'm more of a new yorker so i don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take a picture or check my phone. i stay to the side on an escalator. i follow the flow of people walking on the pavement. i try not to be too loud but then traveling solo, i'm not exactly talking to anyone so i'm not, and i'm as polite and respectful as i can be. if you need a slower pace, you should go to a more rural/suburban area where you can take your sweet time. otherwise, do some research. menus are online so go in with an idea of what you want. i've heard in germany, you should order everything at once as soon as the waiter arrives or you may not see him for another 20 - 30 minutes. DO. YOUR. RESEARCH. there's not much you can't learn online these days before traveling. i can understand if this was 20, 30 years ago and there wasn't much info about other places. no excuse now!

[@Hey-tb3fv]

IN ROME DO LIKE THE ROMANS DO That applies to any country in the world and IS the ESSENCE of travelling

[@pl1763]

I appreciate this video. It’s very informative. I’m American but maybe I’m French at heart. I have always been uncomfortable with small talk and people not following up with what they say or fake. I have always valued honesty and meaningful exchanges.

[@BrendanKDavis]

I’m an American who’s visited Paris a lot before moving here with my wife a year ago. Have been learning the language 4 years, am very functional day to day but still run into a wall when needing to do something complicated (ie deal with bureaucracy). Knowing all the basic social cues and speaking French as much as possible until I run aground has brought me SO MUCH grace from French people when either I have to whip out the translation app, or - if they have some English - they’re comfortable trying out their foreign language skills with me. My parents spent a month here visiting us recently and before their trip, I drilled most of the basics of moving in public spaces and entry / exit politeness into their heads, and for the most part, they had a wonderful time. Another really good video here - nice one! ❤

[@LucileHR]

I love your take! And I feel the same way about NY for example, someone could be yelling at me in the street and I'd be like "awww that's so New York, I love it!"

[@cuttlefishagain]

"am very functional day to day but still run into a wall when needing to do something complicated (ie deal with bureaucracy)" good luck.... I was in France for 7 years and burnt out by the end. I kept waiting for when it'd get easier (the constant walls and obstacles). But I loved Paris so much, and I'd love to go back and visit France without having to worry about all that crap again (the endless impossible red tape of trying to live/integrate/exist there...). I started out as such a defender of all the French cultural differences, too. It's a little depressing, honestly. But, lol, I moved from Paris to other areas of France...maybe if you stay in Paris it will work out better ;)

[@Meanne77]

Even we French people run into walls with our own bureaucracy ;)

[@LisaMartin-r1n]

French people have a hard time with french bureaucracy, the problem is clearly not you there hahaha

[@SkippyTheRedKangaroo]

I'm Australian and have spent quite a bit of time in France and with French people and I can categorically say that they are not rude at all.

[@LouiseRose-k6o]

I agree with most of the points in the video. However, I think that some of these things apply to many European countries. I'm French, and I’ve traveled around a few neighboring countries, and I never thought that people were much friendlier than in France. Many Europeans aren’t as outgoing as Americans, which can be a culture shock. When I was younger and didn’t speak any English at all, I also didn’t know that rudeness was a stereotype associated with us. People not being very friendly in Paris is also due to the fact that it’s not a very safe city. The pickpockets, scammers trying to make you sign things, etc. So I think people are just not as friendly because they don't trust strangers as much. (Which is the case in many big cities, as mentioned in the video.) Another thing : Some people might be able to understand very basic English, but that doesn’t mean they can have a conversation with you. Also, English classes in France focus a lot on writing. We don’t do enough listening comprehension, and many of our teachers have strong French accents, so we learn the wrong pronunciation from the start. One last thing: When you're used to hearing negative stereotypes about a population, it's easy to interpret every interaction as a confirmation of that stereotype. This is a classic example of confirmation bias. When I hear people talking about "bad experiences" in France, I’m pretty sure that most of them are caused by the language barrier, along with the cultural differences explained in this video.

[@StumptownHomestead]

I'm American, but I learned French in Germany, and I did get the feeling that many French people lacked confidence in their ability to speak English, so I always start with French even if I've only had one year. In the US, language learning also focuses on writing. In Germany, there was a big emphasis on speaking, but yeah, I've got a thick German accent in French because my teacher had one. 😂

[@K3LLYMHENRY]

As an American, I DO NOT like small talk and do value my personal space. Small talk and superficial personal questions are things I cannot stand about my culture because it is fake. Parisians are absolutely right about that. When I do visit France next year I’m looking forward to their more straightforward version of politeness. Hello and leave me alone 😊

[@tquirkyt7118]

❤❤❤yes😊

[@shaunacapps3063]

I don't like fake friendliness either which is common in some parts of the U.S. I would rather someone was indifferent rather than think they liked me only to find out later that they were just being "polite." Just makes you feel like a fool.

[@philippe_grosvenor_le_normand]

as a Frenchman, I appreciate your attitude of mind, in fact too much smiling or too much friendliness can mean hypocrisy in my opinion, I would be wary of this kind of people, they act like snakes.

[@karenbertke3149]

9:26 The French are so French that they refused to use Latin nomenclature in medical research like other countries, so all their data had to be re-translated into Latin so all the other countries could understand what they're working on. That slowed down the French contributions to medical research, but it's a French thing. My friend, who was involved in heart research, asked me to help him translate what I can, using my 3 years of high school French from 30 years ago. I don't know if the French are continuing this policy anymore, as it's been over 15 years since this occurred. Google translate has been a godsend. Latin is used in medical nomenclature because it's a dead language, so the meanings of words are not shifting...

[@LisaMartin-r1n]

That would be a very french thing to do... But if you take it the other way around, wouldn't having to translete it in latin or work in latin actually hinder the number of people who can contribute ? Like you can be a genius in medical but not in dead languages... So at the same time...

[@erikachalker7103]

@@LisaMartin-r1nthey learn it as part of medical training same as Greek terminology. They don’t speak it.

[@LisaMartin-r1n]

@@erikachalker7103 that doesn't negate what I said

[@LisaMartin-r1n]

@@erikachalker7103 You just have the debate precision of the langage vs number of people contributing, basically like coding or programming is only binary in the end ; but you need to put in other languages to translate what you want to say to binary, and the new language is based on what type of person will use it.

[@sarahm5936]

@@LisaMartin-r1n no one is translating it in other countries, people in their field learn and refer to health conditions by their terminology which is in dead languages. Source, my mother is an American physician.

[@diannerenn4726]

I lived France. The French are reserved, not to be confused with rudeness.

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

If you say so 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Grae_75]

Those who confuse reserve with rudeness tend to be narcissists, in my experience (not in a travel context but in general).

[@milan9261]

Nobody asked for tourists. That is the main thing. Many tourists act like they own the place instead of acting as guests. This goes for touristy cities but also for restaurants, in any city, any country. When in a restaurant you act like 'I am paying your salary so now crawl for me' and not as 'thank you for welcoming me into your home', you can reap what you sow. And it might not be you but the 10-20 tourists before you. Apart from that, in many tourist centres the restaurants/bars are busy so you are nothing special. They can manage without you.

[@derek96720]

If 80% of people in Paris aren't even from there, then they honestly have nothing to complain about. They aren't natives either.

[@milan9261]

What a ridiculous statement. It it not Disney land.

[@crystalmoonlgdc]

@@derek96720100% of Parisians are actually from Paris. Even if they weren’t born here in the first place. Just because they’re not “natives” doesn’t mean you should disrespect them.

[@derek96720]

@crystalmoonlgdc that's not what being from somewhere means. 100% of parisians live there, but aren't necessarily "from" there

[@Axygalaxy]

​@@derek96720 But they're working and living there, what is your point? Tourists are not participating directly in our economy so tourists are not the center of the world Parisians don't have to be perfect for a few tourists that they'll don't even see again 🤷🏽 just being honest, polite and don't expect like everyone have to please you and you'll have a good vacation there

[@DesireeGonza]

A French friend told me that people thought I was stupid because I smiled all the time. I adapted. Then I came back to the US and I didn’t smile and people thought I was rude. It’s just a cultural thing.

[@deadtonk5527]

The woman expecting French people to talk to her and make friends on her vacation thought we were part of a resort, like an attraction or what ? SHE is on holiday, not us. If you want to meet people go to where we spend leisure time like local bars and clubs, not the streets or at the bakery.

[@mariazamora6824]

I also watch Les Frenchies on YT and I heard him say it best "Americans are like dogs (golden retrievers especially) and the French are like cats." I never had problems with Parisians or other French people but knowing France pretty well, that makes SO MUCH sense! Even after I've known a cat, I continued to approach calmly & cautiously. Also, I can't emphasize this enough, you are still in someone's home. I know that after living 3 months in Paris, going to school (in French mind you), needing to take 3 metro lines, going grocery shopping, etc, I was shoving past tourists on the left side of the escalator. My behavior changed from growing up in the suburbs in California and I was surprised at that. When you are a guest at someone's home in general, you are extra-polite & extra-observant to make sure you are respecting the rules of the house. But because people think they know France/Paris well due to movies, tv shows, books, etc, they feel they don't have to do those things.

[@michellemobakeng5938]

My point : people don't respect French people.

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

If you are always a guest in their eyes I call that rude. In my country people are considered as a guest just a few weeks. If you are staying for longer than that this is your home.

[@christophegelin2010]

all is spot on. i would add, don't expect people to care about you, you're not in an amusement park. you kind of "disturb" them so be polite/respectful.

[@salmarcano4057]

As a Greek I love France 🇬🇷❤🇫🇷

[@miss-gatito369]

We love u too ❤🇫🇷🇬🇷

[@salmarcano4057]

🇬🇷❤🇫🇷

[@s-c-a-d-e-l-i]

I'm from Switzerland and it's quite similar as your description of France. Especially about social standard ("rudeness", social space), and also about friendships (longtime friends, groups, etc)

[@LynMa80]

As a french, I absolutely hate when someone asks me 'How do you do?' and don't liste to then answer and continue with their sentence. If you don't care, don't ask. And I prefer receiving 1 honest smile a day than 30 fakes.

[@01yojimbo]

I greatly appreciate this video, Lucille. Over 20 years ago, my wife and I traveled to Europe. We limited our travels to London, Paris, and an excursion to Brussels. With the exception of our first night, our stay in Paris was quite wonderful. We stayed in a small privately run hotel in the Latin Quarter and many of our meals were in restaurants near the hotel. I found that courtesy and speaking French were the most important things that we could do to foster a courteous interaction with the locals. One night, we were eating at a small restaurant and there was a couple sitting at the table next to us. He leaned over, tapped me on the arm and asked "Parlez vous anglais?" I was surprised by this on many levels. First, I cannot imagine that our French fluency could have convinced anyone that French was our first language and, second, why did he need to tap me on the shoulder during an meal with my wife? I explained that we were Americans and that, yes, we spoke English. He complained for a while about their trip, their interactions with the French, and his feeling that Paris was overrated. Based on our interaction with him, my thought was "no kidding." To avoid ending on a sour note, we enjoyed our time in Paris, made acquaintances, and saw some remarkable sites (the Louvre, Musee D'Orsay, walked through some lovely neighborhoods and never once said that we were seeing this or that in a day. Thank you for your time, Merci!

[@fiedelmina]

Paris, London and Brussels doesn't mean you "traveled to Europe". you traveled to Paris, London and Brussels.

[@01yojimbo]

@@fiedelmina Where are Paris and Brussels located?

[@PlatyRush]

​@@01yojimbo I think they were referring to the fact that Europe is extremely diverse, there's a lot of different landscapes, cities that are very different from one another, with each places having their own culture. You only visited 3 big cities ; you didn't "visit Europe".

[@PatrickDelabrenne]

I'm French & I can say in the countryside, French people are very nice, friendly & smiling. I don't know about the towns, I don't like towns, I never go there ; especially PARIS which is a Hell for me ^^

[@flurb3285]

Same ^^ After a day in Paris i just feel exhausted and want to go back to the countryside

[@mad-FrenchS203]

Same, although I'm Dutch but I live in a cabin on a forested hillside outside of a town near Avignon. Living in Auvergne was much more comfortable and peaceful apart from the damn tourists and I include the ones that go hiking or skiing in the mountains without snow tires on their cars. Also most french people drive like madmen and without indicators like it's an option... No they're just antisocial assholes on the road

[@martinasandoval5326]

Agreed, outside of Paris I've found people to be super nice, friendly and they smile.

[@howdy2399]

Your videos are so helpful in understanding the mentality of the French culture, which is always a good thing to learn about. Thank you!

[@tedtalksrock]

Above all, the French are HONEST. In their interpersonal exchanges. I appreciate this about French culture. We could use more of it in the US.

[@torinsall]

I WANT people to correct me when I am trying to speak their language. I quickens the learning process, especially when the learning is in context.

[@thelidiaedit]

“5-10 days and she hasn’t made friends” 😂 try to be an expat in Germany. Even with all the efforts in the world, no German friends after 7 years.

[@LucileHR]

It's really tough making local friends when you're an expat!

[@thelidiaedit]

@ especially if you’re not in uni. I’m Italian, so the culture shock with France was minimal…here it’s another beast.

[@alynareyes1543]

@thelidiaedit 8 years in Germany, 2 years in the uni, I made 1 friend.😂 Maybe it's me but still not easy.

[@thelidiaedit]

@@alynareyes1543 nah, my husband is way likeable than I am, and his experience is the same

[@KrisKk08]

“I even bought a French hat” is so cringe, the secondhand embarrassment I feel as an American when she said that is too much 😂😂😂 Thank you Lucille for the video!

[@IncredibleStan]

Well you have to remember that that person is not representative of over 300 million people.

[@fontainerouge]

Americans tend to think they can buy their way through everything.

[@Clery75019]

As a French person, I feel bad for her as even if that was clumsy, she did mean it. Being alone in a foreign country is a tough experience, you're very isolated. I felt the same during my week in Hong Kong. I had no one to see and felt terribly alone. I was so curious to learn more about people there, but it's so difficult to break the ice.

[@davidperry7128]

My French neighbour gave me one of his berets, I haven't worn it, neither have I ever seen him wear one. Nor a stripey jumper or a string of onions.

[@shoelacedonkey]

@@davidperry7128 You haven't really been to France if you haven't walked around with a baguette under your arm.

[@NelsonTamayo]

I've been to Paris twice and have always had a pleasant experience. As with every new country you visit, it's important to read up on the culture so you have the best chance of avoiding any bad experiences. I made several friends that I still keep in touch with and look forward to seeing on my next trip. I've even been learning French for two years now and can't wait to use it in France! As for Americans inviting you over when they meet you, at least for me, this is a genuine invite. I love meeting new people and I wouldn't suggest anyone come by for dinner or otherwise unless I meant it. So hopefully we don't all get a bad rap for that. :)

[@marita40211]

As a french i can not believe you have to explain to people from your country that waiters are not servant and have to be respected lmao. Strangers, tourists : when you come to an other country, please remember the country/city is not a big disneyland nor a place where you are the main character. You are in a city where people live their real life, are busy, late at work, upset, happy, just broke up, have job appointment, go to a date, to sport, have family problems. This is not a disneyland where the customer experience is everything.

[@FindTheTRUTH337]

As a friend of mine says, “It’s about expectations.” Thank you for helping us manage our expectations !

[@billking8843]

I'm Australian. French visitors are very highly regarded here because they are usually sensitive to unspoken rules and are very polite. Australia has a LOT of unspoken rules and you will have a very hard time if you are seen to be deliberately ignoring them. Wherever you go, the 'when in Rome...' rule applies.

[@isagrace4260]

That’s so interesting. I haven’t been to Australia yet but really want to go. What are some of the unspoken rules out of curiosity? And I totally agree. The French people I’ve encountered through work/school/travel outside of France have a heightened sense for this (and are often rather good conversationalists, on average, I’d add!)

[@billking8843]

@@isagrace4260 The single umbrella rule is to be an egalitarian. Stand in an orderly queue to get on the bus, say hello to the driver when you get on and say thank you when you get off. Also, mean what you say. Whereas Americans will sometimes say 'You must come over some time' and not actually mean it, Australians don't usually say anything like that unless it is a firm invitation. "Is next Friday good for you? Great. Bring a plate.' ('Bring a plate' means bring along something to share, if it is a less formal gathering.) Like the French, we are also very secular. Being too public about your religion doesn't go down well.

[@mirnuky]

never had a problem in the few times I went to France and Paris and when I've hear the first advice i was SHOCKED to hear that the first rule is to greet someone and say bonjour.... do really ppl go about their lives without greeting someone? that's rude, and not just in France/Paris. no wonder why so many ppl have "rude" encounters. I'd not be very nice is someone just asks me a question without telling me hello or good morning at first, like, I'm not your servant???

[@latebloomerabroad]

Parisians live in a huge big city, and they act very much the same as residents of L.A., New York City, Rome, etc. because it’s stressful to live in a big city! I tell my friends to say “bonjour”, "au revoir”, “merci”, “bonne journée”; it helps, especially in shops. If you know nothing else in French, learn that! When I’ve seen Parisians be “rude”, it was because they think the tourist was rude first, although the tourist had no idea. The girl who said she felt isolated in France is very valid! I traveled solo around the world for 6 months in 2022 and I felt that way EVERYWHERE!! I’m from California, and we usually do talk to tourists and other strangers. But I’ve never been anywhere else in the world like that, and the only time I met anyone during that 6 months was when I took a cooking class in Thailand. My French cousins told me not to count on making French friends, because most of their friends are from childhood. When we travel, we should study the culture before we go so that we know what to expect.

[@LucileHR]

I agree with everything in your comment! And also cooking classes are one of my favorite ways of meeting people when I travel :)

[@isagrace4260]

Fellow Californian! You’re right, we’re quite friendly (not as much as the South, Midwest, Pacific Northwest…but still.) I’d say I’ve travelled the world, and I spent a few years going to France regularly. I really enjoy it (and miss it if I go too many months without a visit) and think you make great points. But, I do have to admit, despite having my passport stamped for FR more times than any other country, it’s the only one I’ve been to where I’ve made no friends from my travels. Not a judgement but an observation! Ps Go to Italy/Greece/Spain, SE Asia, South America, much of Africa…they’re nicer than us :)

[@fontainerouge]

And while tourists are on vacation, we are not: work, the kids, car repair, etc. Nobody has been designated to be your vacation chaperon. Just insert yourself in the flow, do what you have to do ...

[@isagrace4260]

@@fontainerougeyes i think this perfectly encapsulates it. Of course there is no expectation of needing anything from residents; however, this exact attitude of complete invisibility and conformity is foreign in some other cultures

[@cobracommander8133]

lol I’m from LA and most people here a super friendly. I agree with everything else you said though.

[@ahbonetbien]

Extremely spot on, bravo. As a Parisian I have to commend you on this video. Also, for the anecdote, I frequently start off with "excusez-moi" and it did happen to me that the other person replied with an angry Bon Jour. I once left a small restaurant in central Paris because this was way too much - even for me as a Parisian.

[@mgparis]

Exactly - I'm French too, and if you start a conversion and forget to say bonjour first, you have to correct yourself and say "pardon, bonjour" and start over :)

[@islandwitt1]

I was sitting in a resturant in Paris when 2 elderly French ladies asked if they could share my table, of course ! We had a lovely conversation and it was one of the most endearing moment of the entire trip. I love the French, and Paris. You get what you give when it comes to people and travel. 🌹

[@carolynrude2830]

I was in Paris as a young woman in the early 80's. I need to go back as a 65 year old woman and look through these eyes. It is what it is. I had a good connection and a few rude interactions. Lovely video

[@LucileHR]

I hope you get to come back, thanks for watching!

[@wallybistrich3474]

As a woman traveling alone in the 80s I enjoyed the big city vibe of Paris. No-one looking at me I felt so free, never forced to explain someone why I was sitting alone in a cafe enjoying my life which was not so usual at that time.

[@Lalairu]

Wait, people don't say hello or good morning when they are going to order something? It is the bare minimum xD I am from Spain and it is also considered rude not greeting someone before you order or ask for something in a store, or not greeting a bus driver when you get in.

[@isamukim1693]

As somebody who lives in a very touristic city, I can tell you 90% tourists when they go to a restaurant or a café, they just spit their order in English. No greeting, no «can you speak English?» just «I want this»... and most of the times, they enter shops, without a word, take a look round and leave... as if there was nobody working in the shop or other customers. As soon as they realise they're the majority in a place, they lose all sense of propriety and politeness. Or we must be getting the scum of society as tourists, since we went cheap, that could be also the reason.

[@fionamb83]

I never found Parisians rude when I was there. And I've been three times. Maybe a little detached or blunt but I felt like it was normal. But then I'm not from a country where people are required to worship the ground that customers walk on (Ireland). Like if someone is rude to a barperson here, they'll get told very quickly to f off lol. And Ireland is known to be friendly to visit. I got on grand in Paris because at heart I'm a bit of a polite introvert, I got on grand in the US because I am a master at small talk coming from Ireland. I could chat up a tree if I had to.

[@camiller4916]

A friend of mine tends bar here in the US and he regularly tosses people out if they r as*holes. He even has a loud speaker so he can tell them to eff off

[@Capycorg]

Oh my goodness... I'm American and spent about a year living in France in my early 20s. I am irrationally offended by people who come up and start talking without saying hi or excuse me first. I must've picked this up in France without even knowing it. Acculturation is fascinating!

[@FoneTool]

Having visited Paris dozens of times (from Australia) I've never found Parisians to be rude. OTOH I find many English & US tourists in Paris to be well beyond objectionable. It amazes me that Parisians collectively are able to withstand the invasion of millions of tourists. Better them than me.

[@Clery75019]

As told in the video, 78% of people living in Paris aren't born there. So the reason why non-locals are accepted is because everyone is a non-local in the first place. And even those who are actually born there are so accustomed to it that they consider it normal.

[@Peatingtune]

France is saturated with tourists. It is THE dream destination for many people across the world. French people have to continually deal with a large number of individuals who behave as if France is an amusement park designed and committed to service them and provide them with entertainment. Individuals who don't care to understand French culture or to make any effort whatsoever to behave politely by local standards. Who wouldn't be annoyed by that? In which parts of the world is the stereotypical selfish tourist *not* considered a nuisance?

[@andreasc.766]

I live in New York City. Try to place your order in French in a restaurant. Good luck ! What I expect from a waiter is that he takes my order, brings me what I ordered, and gives me the bill when I ask for it. I don't need to know his name, I don't need small talk, I don't need him to check on me, and I hate when he takes my plate away as soon as I finished the last morcel of food.

[@gregorygant4242]

"The French non-Connection ".

[@tortiney4521]

I have to say I recently visited Paris and had a great time. The people were super friendly and helpful and it was a wonderful experience. Be Kind and mindful and people will be kind to you. It is as easy as it is.

[@hansmyhrvold8857]

As a Norwegian I don’t think Parisians are rude at all.

[@LucileHR]

One of my memories of my time in Norway (Trondheim) is how drivers were extra-polite and would always stop to let us cross the road whenever we got near a crosswalk. Even when we didn’t actually need to cross lol

[@lynnesookdawar3979]

Interested to know more. I lived near Paris for many years and am learning Norwegian with Babbel. Just for fun, I m a language nerd. Haven’t been able to meet any Norwegians yet but hopeful….

[@uderzo1984]

@@LucileHR Yeah, that's normal here. Drivers are for the most part more aware and considerate of pedestrians.

[@uderzo1984]

@@lynnesookdawar3979 As a Norwegian I think I can elaborate a bit more. There are similarities between norwegian and french culture, like the respect for personal space. We don't small talk with strangers, we might seem cold, but like french people it just takes a bit of time to become friends with us, but the friendships are long lasting and meaningful. And if we are being friendly we mean it, it's not superficial. This is how it is in general of course :) I recommend reading the "a frog in the fjord" blogg, written by Lorelou Desjardins, a french lady that has lived many years in Norway. She has great insight in all the peculiar aspects of Norwegian culture :D Lots of humour and small digs at us Norwegians :P

[@derek96720]

A Norwegian definitely would think that lol

[@vaprophet]

I just spent 10 days in France, mostly in Paris. As an American, I am very happy to say, everybody was extremely nice. Not only were they NOT rude, but they were very helpful, inquisitive, and all around friendly. I loved my time there and Paris has become my new favorite city. Can’t wait to come back 😊❤️🤙🏾

[@LucileHR]

aww that's so sweet! So happy to ready you had a good time!!

[@vaprophet]

@@LucileHR the BEST time!!!😁

[@gretapetenberg2525]

I had this exact experience 🤝🏻

[@spadaacca]

Were you there for the Olympics?

[@scottscottsdale7868]

Just like New Yorkers.

[@stevebojo4378]

I've visited several places in France (not Paris, yet) and I've spoken to many French people that don't like the people of Paris. Beautiful country and everywhere I've been the French people I encountered have been very nice.

[@LucileHR]

Yes, it's super common! There's so many reasons to that!

[@radguurl]

Most people in most large, international cities don't have time to make small talk. They're busy working and trying to keep up with everyone else or else you can't survive in a large, hypery-urbanized city. Been to Paris and didn't find them rude, they've just got places to be and things to do. So long as you open with a nice French greeting and a grin and politely ask if they speak english, you're good to go.

[@martynaagneta6720]

That lady from tiktok wanted to find a friend in just over a week?? sounds like she's extraterrestrial. people live lifes, go to work, do their stuff afterwards most definitely not thinking about a random tiktoker wishing to find friends. we're europeans live in our bubble and im happy with that.

[@DrRenee1]

Je n’ai pas visité la France depuis 40 ans, mais mon expérience c’était que les gens étaient très polis. J’ai habité en France avec des familles françaises comme étudiante d’échange quand j’avais 17 ans quand j’ai appris comment être polite en français. Savoir dire “Bonjour madame/monsieur” est tellement important pour parler poliment avec les français.

[@charlottelanvin7095]

yes! in retail and service contexts interactions are professional. The waiter, store assistant is not there to congratulate you on your choice, stroke your ego or give you validation. even less to be a cast member in your instagram pics. It's business without the sugar coat. you're on vacation, they are not.

[@petretepner8027]

Similarly, as a customer, I do not seek to be assured by the waiter that I have "made a good choice". If there are "bad choices", why are they on the menu at all?

[@tanis634]

I had a similar experience recently in central France. While I was filling up my car, a man-probably Welsh-walked up and, without so much as a hello, asked if the yellow pump was for diesel. His accent was so thick that, at first, I didn’t even realize he was speaking English. Honestly, it was almost incomprehensible! Trying to clarify, I asked him in English, “Do you speak English?” That’s when he burst into loud laughter, practically right in my face-just two centimeters away! It felt incredibly rude. Annoyed but trying to stay polite, I simply nodded to confirm it was diesel. The whole situation left me frustrated, especially since I’d made all the effort to help him.

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

The guy was not raised in your culture. That is all the explanation you need

[@hospitalfood6621]

You sound lovely 😑

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

@@hospitalfood6621 my exact thoughts

[@invalidpseudonym]

I live in Switzerland, speak French and I would react the same way as you did.

[@7piecebucket]

If it makes you feel any better, it is totally possible that the Welshman experienced this quite differently. He may have thought that you were both charming (thus the laughter) and helpful for pointing out the diesel.

[@PhillipMarten-k7o]

Thank you for the video. Many of your videos really. Whether you travel to Munich, Paris, London, Amsterdam, New York City, Atlanta.... If you arrive with your personal expectations, you will always have a bad time. If you arrive with curiosity, an open mind, and a level of preparation? You will have an extraordinary experience. Your videos are part of that preparation; please, keep on keeping on.

[@Pentan797]

I was brought up in South East England and taught French in school from age 7. Our school was very keen on us experiencing France, we did a mini French exchange when I was 10 where I lived with a rural family for a week, we even somehow squeezed in a day trip to Paris by getting on a coach at 6am! I have pretty decent basics that are still lodged in my very unpractised brain to this day. I come from a weird echelon of British culture where we sorta lowkey LOVE going somewhere and being treated with aloofness. All I want from someone serving me when I'm abroad is to share a simple polite greeting, get shown the basics (even if it's just to a table) and then I'm happy to be left alone and figure it out myself. The shift in hotel culture in recent years is so weird to me, lots of modern hotels play loud music everywhere and every room you step into someone tries to greet you and serve you something with super intense pleasantness. France strikes me as still being a bit "old world" in terms of service culture and I honestly prefer that any day. So here's one roast beef who would probably do fine in France, I love being ignored and left alone, it makes the people watching and wandering around so much easier. My French friends, you have full permission to give me a simple nod, a "bonjour" and then leave me to my own devices, I will be absolutely fine!

[@thelidiaedit]

I spent 4 years in France. Not Paris though. I had lonely times and great times. Relationship-wise it was just impossible; the culture shock of how to approach a relationship was huge ( so those were the lonely times). But in general, I’ve never felt more at ease in my life. Not even in my home country. France made me understand who I truly am and who I want to be. The acceptance of honesty, the importance of politeness, and of developing relationships based on time and shared experiences, feminism, beauty, elegance, not having to justify yourself for everything, how to think about work and yourself as a worker. I could relate to the “group activities” because that’s also part of my culture: togetherness. But I also could finally let go of the fakeness of having to smile and talk to anyone otherwise I’m rude. I’m not saying it was all pink and beautiful, but socially I miss it every day of my life.

[@l.w.paradis2108]

Same!! (Only, I spent five years in Paris.) Once you've stepped out of American culture, it becomes so obvious how intrusive it is, and how people expect you to deform yourself and your personality to accommodate what rich people want from you. When the US was a religious country, you'd hear all about how you were immoral if you failed to do x, y, or z; now, it's all about how you'll age badly, you'll get wrinkles or Alzheimer's or cancer, or end up homeless. French people don't think they have the right to do that to you, and see through it if you try to pull it on them. I think all Latin cultures are that way. Americans are very aggressive people. The list of places they've bombed since 1945 shows that.

[@FlammeDuSavoir]

Quel hommage !

[@cuttlefishagain]

I was there 7 years. I have a kind of love/hate thing with France now. I miss it and want to go back, but trying to live there fully was depressing/impossible at times. But now that I've been away for over a year...I'm missing being there, a lot. More and more. It's weird. Maybe I'll go back when I'm at retirement age or something and not trying to work/study/whatever else.

[@l.w.paradis2108]

@@cuttlefishagain I wish my reply wasn't shadowed. 😒

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

Your comment made me very emotional. I had kind of an opposite experience. I was able to have close relationships but I couldn’t get used to being corrected in my French 10 time a day (while people laughed). However I agree France makes you look inwards and truly know oneself.

[@charlesgoodwin-k1x]

I am from the US, and waited tables in my 20's. Peope can be completely horrible to you, and this was a common thing. Being a male waiter was not as bad as a female, from what I saw. The females got treated like dirt, and oddly enough, it was the other women at the table who gave the most grief.

[@rvgytroblox634]

2:07 say hello to the waiter at you're restaurant but please... not in the street... if you do they could respond "what do you want from me" french people never say hello to other people while passing on the street.