Why Aren't You Married? Ireland 1977

[@iVenge]

Most people today have no earthly idea how tough it was being poor in Ireland when these men grew up. When he talks about starvation coming in, he’s not joking. He probably experienced it, and with it, all the hell that occurred between his own parents during it. If that’s your experience, then ‘love’ is not something you have a positive memory of.

[@KJ_2020]

great point

[@donnasmyth45]

Yip, indeed. And perhaos the man had considered the worry and responsibility of feeding children too.

[@MyIrishHomestead]

I found this clip incredibly moving. I hope those chaps continued to have good lives.

[@grahambamford9073]

"Love is the most beautiful thing in the world, agreed.... But when starvation come in, it goes out the window" .......

[@Bodyknowledge77]

I was born this year here and have never married. Never say never, but highly likely never. Not everything is for everyone.

[@maid7171]

They say profound things but the interviewer belittles thems. Such as, theese men enjoyed their Freedom! They respect women but do not take any into their heart. They come across gentlemanly. They wanted everything perfect. They have standards. Fine Irish men. Is their type still around?

[@connoroleary591]

Yes there are still lots of them in Ireland, they are unfortunately mostly in small parish cemeteries. Their grand nephew's are around, waving Palestinian flags and fretting over their pronouns.

[@Sinnerboy88]

I'm a bit like this actually. I'm from a very rural community, I have a small farm that has been in my family for hundreds of years. I don't really think I want a woman.. plus the fact, I'm 36 years of age, so I've probably left it too late now anyways. I think if yer man asked me these questions I'd probably say something similar to the two fellas in the video. It isn't that I don't like women.. I'm very fond of them. I'm mad about them. But I don't think I'd want to take one to heart.. I like my own company. I like my own freedom. I like I can do what I want. Spend what money I want. Plus the fact, it's hard to find a woman anyways.. like out here in the sticks there's very few women at all. Plus, I find a lot of girls nowadays I don't really have a great deal in common with them, or they're looking for different things.. or with the social media and celebrities and whatnot, they maybe rate themselves too highly and think they can always do better, or maybe they've a bunch of children already. Or maybe they're not looking at the bigger picture. Things have changed a lot though since the olden days. A lot of the old timers look at the young and say "why haven't you got a wife. I was married and had three children by the time I was your age" but it was different in their day.. women were different too. They were happy to simply find a good, honest, kind man who they were attracted to and who maybe had a decent home who would simply look after them and love them. In those days, people would get married and they would stay together.. it was a work in progess, it wasn't always perfect.. but that's what a marriage is. Nowadays, the first bump in the road or first offer they got from something they perceived as better, many will take off again and clean you. If you want to find women with traditional old time values, sadly they are not going to be plentiful here in the West. Of course, I'm talking about laws of averages.. there are women like that here too but I'm just saying they're not as common.. but 60 years ago every woman was like that. The old timers weren't up against what the young men are today. Very different times. Relationships are essentially two people who love one another and are also offering each other things.. sadly these days many potential spouses don't have a great deal to offer. I feel that's why the numbers of marriages has decreased so much.

[@TomOhawk2]

The Rare auld times. Greatly missed. Good Luck.

[@connoroleary591]

@@Sinnerboy88 36 is not too late, please don't think that. Gordon Browne was 50 when he married and now has a lovely family. If you really find women attractive and feel a relationship would make you a happy young man, then it can very easily happen. You sound like a good natured guy and many a young woman would be happy with an uncomplicated man and a meaningful lifestyle on a small farm. Take care and best wishes.

[@cesnor]

@@connoroleary591he should be proud of his nephews for not supporting a genocide then

[@healthydee381]

Gosh the interviewer seems so rude and judgemental. The two men are lovely.

[@ronoc89]

Men weren't feminised and made of butter back then!!!

[@grahamluna6935]

Not much has changed, today.

[@Dubliner812]

Do you really think these men never went for a dummy run??? ;-) haha..They is full of Whiskey and We is IRISH lol

[@SmcdMcd-d2k]

If you get offended easily . Don’t use the internet. The interviewer was grand

[@joekavanagh7171]

@@SmcdMcd-d2k you seem to be getting offended very easily by people's responses.

[@joekavanagh7171]

Stupid question. Why doesn't he ask married people why aren't they single?

[@SmcdMcd-d2k]

Oh my gosh why are you so personally offended by this? This video was in walk the 70s so long ago and you’re getting pissed off over asking them a very normal question L

[@joekavanagh7171]

@@SmcdMcd-d2k so every time someone asks a question it's because they are "offended" by something? It sounds like you're more offended by my question.

[@SmcdMcd-d2k]

@@joekavanagh7171 no it’s ridiculous. This interview was maybe 40 years ago 50 years ago and then this stupid question stupid question why aren’t they asking if they’re single? Like shut up?

[@joekavanagh7171]

@@SmcdMcd-d2k are you going to make me?

[@joekavanagh7171]

@@SmcdMcd-d2k are you going to make me?

[@MrSheymie]

Free men. Shouldn't be allowed. 'When poverty comes in, love goes out the window'. True.

[@tonyclifton265]

"we are married - to each other. now feck off!"

[@jamesbradshaw3389]

the first man sounds and talks like Squire Red Will/Victor McLaglen from The Quiet Man film, hard as nails on the outside, only he is right, nobody would be allowed to get in his way. The second man wants to build a castle before he asks a woman to marry him. I hope those men had long and happy lives, got married and had families of their own

[@matthewbarry376]

People often go on about the pressure to get married but in Ireland judging by the fact We had an enormous proportion of the adult population never getting married or having kids, the pressure obviously didnt exist to the same extent as in other places. Low marriage rates but those who got married had lots of kids.

[@healthydee381]

Marriage is not for everyone. I wish society would accept that and let people be who they are instead of pitying people (who are probably very content with their peaceful life).

[@horatiotodd8723]

"All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. ... Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common. ... There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. They laid it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need."[49]

[@Duke_of_Seshington]

"you should of been married, and im not saying you should but you should have been married".

[@RedOakCrow]

Forty seven years later and there's still a probing curiosity towards the unmarried lol. They'd have more respect for you if you're married and jumping the fence every week than if you're single, it's a very rigid, collectivist way of thinking.

[@joekavanagh7171]

There's huge societal pressure on people to couple up. It's as if none of us is complete without someone else.

[@LordOfElderon]

the older guy reminds me of robert mitchum

[@charliedoherty5965]

The young men of today should take stalk...no track suits or hoddies here

[@johntheball]

Some lads were just Gay and stayed single in a repressive society...my father always said it was the guys that got married but were gay that were dangerous to be around years ago as they would try and force themselves on unsuspecting teenage boys...left him wery homophobic...not without justification...😮

[@suino1433]

God save all here.

[@g-sailing4427]

The interviewer seems like RTE’s finest……

[@suino1433]

John O'Donoghue, I think. According to someone writing in the RTE Guide many years ago, this was the way the national broadcaster was 'before the women's movement sank its cold claw into the heart of civilisation'..

[@joekavanagh7171]

@@suino1433 yes it was the legendary John O'Donoghue

[@Johndoe10007]

First man doesn’t want to lose his freedom and the farm and the 2nd man is gay in my opinion

[@suino1433]

There was a much loved public gay couple in Ireland in the seventies - Micheal McLiammoir and Hilton Edwards. There was no hatred against them. They were decent people, but those who have followed them and usurped their place are full of hate against the people who love.

[@eamonnohalloran2254]

John O'Donaghue, the interviewer,,was a very good personality in his day but these questions are very probing and invasive to these men.Ireland was a very repressive and ridgid place full of unwritten rules and quiet desparation , Where was the space for forming healty interactions and relationships in their youth of the 40's,50,s and 60,s John has reduced his talent to that of a nosey parker or village gossip. Thank God that time has passed. Replaced now by the question of where to score drugs in the pub bathroom.

[@healthydee381]

Why do people epitomise marriage as what everyone should do? No 2 ppl are the same. Jesus said in the Bible...some of you are made for marriage, some of you are not.

[@andydixon2980]

Did Jesus say that?

[@horatiotodd8723]

"All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. ... Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common. ... There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. They laid it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need."[49]

[@mauriceoconnor2859]

​@@andydixon2980I doubt it😅

[@healthydee381]

@@andydixon2980 Yes. I can't find the exact passage in the gospels - but I did read it. Here is what a search showed up Matthew 19:10-12, Jesus addresses this after teaching about marriage and divorce. When His disciples remark that it might be better not to marry at all, Jesus responds with this: Matthew 19:10-12 (NIV): The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others-and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

[@healthydee381]

There is another quote in the gospels which says that some people are made for marriage, and some are not. If I find it, I will post it. I read it recently.

[@DL10663]

Probably gay. I had two grand aunts who never married. Looking back, the family now recognises that they were both probably gay.

[@joekavanagh7171]

So everyone who doesn't marry is gay?

[@patrickball2493]

Not necessarily ! .

[@DL10663]

@@patrickball2493 hence the ‘probably’. It’s not an accusation.

[@patriciag6030]

Many such cases in rural Ireland.

[@healthydee381]

So people who don't marry are 'probably' gay? Thats a sweeping statement and huge generalisation. Based on your comments, id say you are 'probably' closeminded, judgemental and dense but I'd say you 'probably ' think you know it all ​@@DL10663

[@sbm5379]

There Gay

[@joekavanagh7171]

Prove it

[@cesnor]

Where?