Why Battletech Sucks ( Urbanmech )

This actually happened to me during a Megamek game. Well. More or less.

[@arsenalxa4421]

"Because what's funnier than a walking trash can that cores an AssaultMech in a surprise attack?" -Tex of the Black Pants Legion

[@charlesborden8111]

Hail Cargonia and Praise Z0RG!

[@pirateswiggity5278]

Is there any way I can equip an Urby with Catapult rocket pods? …asking for a friend.

[@operkoi8954]

@@pirateswiggity5278 not until the filthy clanners reach Luthien

[@nitesy381]

@@pirateswiggity5278 um-68 had lrm30's according to tex. if you want nukes, the one that uses arrow-iv

[@umngyr]

@@pirateswiggity5278 I mean, i don't see why you couldn't put LRMs on an urbie. I could think of a reason or two why you SHOULDN'T :P but not why you couldn't.

[@PlagueOfGripes]

"His battle value was four hundred and seventy!" "Through-armor criticalssssss!"

[@josharmstrong8813]

And the lesson of this story is you *don't fuck with an urban mech* Battletech is ridiculous and awesome

[@mikecampos1193]

And Tex of the black pants legion taught me the respect the Urban Mech that AC10 can fuck you up.

[@THEGRUMPTRUCK]

@@mikecampos1193 AC20 Urbies in lore have two-cored Assault mechs in 1v1. They are BRUTAL in their element.

[@Seeric85]

As someone who's main contact with the franchise is reading the books as a teenager and modding the shit out of the 2018 Harebrained Schemes game I've got to ask. Can you through-armor critical with a small laser in tabletop? Because that seems ridiculous.

[@JohnDoe11VII]

@@Seeric85 You can get a Through Armor Critical ( TAC ) with any weapon. Roll 2D6 to check for hit. Roll 2D6 for location, if 2, you landed a Through Armor Critical on center torso when attacking the front or rear. Roll 2D6 for number of criticals (0-3 hits), if 12 you scored 3 critical hits. Roll D6 repeatedly for location of criticals. If you hit the engine 3 times the mech is destroyed.

[@chesterstevens8870]

The Urbanmech is not an incredibly slow 'mech, it's a highly mobile turret system.

[@temp3608]

MWO online players : The Urbanmech a 30 ton medium mech speed trashcan with a rotary ac-2 and 4 er small lasers

[@lassenlautta]

*rac-5 @@temp3608

[@unclestone8406]

"They filled me with trash." _"I filled them with lead."_

[@digitalis2977]

The Urbanmech is just the larval stage of the Annihilator: Change my mind.

[@Crankwank]

Neg, it is a larval jaegermech, which is just an immature imp.

[@idiom2805]

Have you seen the imp? Probably not.

[@canislupus3655]

A lance of Urbanmechs is to an Annihilator what the Zords are to Megazord.

[@temp3608]

it really is tho lol

[@temp3608]

@@Crankwank the urbie and annihlator have armor atleast, the jagermech does not have that, the jagermech is cringe, the only thing the jagermech has thats related to the urbie is that its original design by fasa looked like someone cut out the center of an awsome and put an urbies torso insie

[@PlagueOfGripes]

In this case I had blown off his AC-20 earlier in the match. Hence the little scalded right weapon mount.

[@OrionCallisto]

I have never witnessed a more pure expression of what it is like to play Battletech. The biggest pain in my ass that I love.

[@Talendale]

It is always "Trash Can", never "Trash Cannot".

[@Gundamluverx]

THIS is the reason the Clan Invasion failed.

[@THEGRUMPTRUCK]

Anastasis Focht deployed their greatest weapon. Scared, rusty Urbanmech with a single Small Laser. On that day the clans knew their greatest defeat on Tukayyid.

[@roguishpaladin]

The referee ruled at 0:47 that the hit had destroyed Huntress.

[@56bturn]

Remember the The UMR-68 with the MRM-30? Apparently it did take the Ghost Bears by surprise.

[@stickywicketg]

hippity hoppity get off my property

[@PlagueOfGripes]

For some reason I always forget I did the voice overs for everything in this. That and the Kormir video are all me. Some more edited than others.

[@danibot3000]

Very well done. Still one of the best videos out there. The "wonky talk" hurr durr etc.. :D

[@zeekree4596]

Ah yes, reminds me of the first game of Battletech I ever had. A bloody AC20 Urbie headshotted my otherwise undamaged Atlas in turn 2.

[@Icedpyre]

I lost an untouched commando to a medium laser due to a lucky crit that hit my ammo bin. I was unimpressed.

[@56bturn]

"Because what's funnier than a trash can that cores an assault mech in a surprise attack?"

[@CrizzyEyes]

UrbanMechs are designed in-universe for this, the abstract concept of getting lucky crits. It's the bottom-of-the-line cheapo option for outfits that can't afford anything better, but its saving grace is that it has a powerful weapon that can pose a threat in an ambush. It isn't the small laser in this video though.

[@Irondrone4]

This is why one of the first 'Mechs to get drafted out of my collection is my Hunchback when me and my friends play. I have had games prematurely ruined by that AC/20 tearing a 'Mech's head off just as combat kicks off.

[@adrianaustin7153]

@@Icedpyre In what has been the last table-top game of Battletech that I ever played, I lost a pristine Timberwolf to a head shot from a Gauss rifle. At maximum range. The player that made the shot (my cousin!) needed to roll a twelve. Got that! Then rolled another twelve. Bye bye Timberwolf! That was first turn too! (And no, this was not the reason I've never played another table-top game since!)

[@dreadedpixel9022]

Random crits are fair and balanced

[@MrSleepy677]

Unless Paul nerfs them.

[@Tk3997]

As any TF2 player can attest.

[@Hacker_lyx]

Yeah I at one point in time I thought that as well. Then I actually got into battletech and learned about AC LB-X/20s using cluster ammo. That's essentially 20 chances to crit every time you shoot. Either through armor or if there's any internal structure exposed.

[@timcuatt1640]

Twin LB-X/10s are mid-long range PIPELINES OF MURDER.

[@olstar18]

@@Tk3997 Well this would be more like not being able to crit until the enemy is at half health.

[@Phucketmcsucket]

Never underestimate the trash can

[@PrinceSilvermane]

It's a Trash can! Not a Trash can't!

[@justaninternetfool451]

Im using this whenever people say i cant do something

[@boxtank5288]

They filled me with garbage, I filled em with lead.

[@shawnm1902]

Everyone made fun of him, until it was trash day

[@VallornDeathblade]

Trash Can Not Trash Cannot Believe in the Urbie.

[@sassysauron2426]

0:38 "So this is the power of the UrbanMech. Not bad, not bad at all."

[@PANCAKECRAB1]

Rip Kittan

[@sassysauron2426]

mfw all these (you)s rolling in. i.imgur.com/XlAGlj8.png

[@MrSleepy677]

Except small laser did around 9000 damage so that has to be nerfed.

[@starsiegeplayer]

MrSleepy677 Don't be silly. It's over 9000!!!!

[@Claymann71]

"So, this is the Spiral Power of the Universe? It's really... quite... unbelievable. *HehehahahaHAHA--explodes in manly Kittan Jerky chunks* "

[@ABC21129]

CRITICAL HIT. INTERNAL AMMO EXPLOSION DETECTED.EJECTING

[@Lady_in_Yearning]

LA DESTROYED STRUCTURE EXPOSED RA DESTROYED RL DESTROYED CT DESTROYED PILOT: RAGEQUIT

[@wailengcheong7715]

mcjagermech q❌🅾️

[@Mechator_Rex]

Optional: reactor going critical.

[@SnakePlissken001]

Last night, I witnessed a game where two guys (one in an Adder and another in a Stormcrow) took a combination of six heavy and assault mechs from range. Probably one of the greatest games I've ever witnessed. Never underestimate the power of lighter and medium mech! Let alone the pilots behind them.

[@temp3608]

''what are you gonna do with that small laser?'' **hits cockpit**

[@ivorymantis1026]

"Oh how cute look at that lil laser." ... "Wait, is that a PPC?"

[@bronco5334]

" Yes! I salvaged it off a McKenna! " ^_^ "You mean, a Mackie?" o.O "I meant what I said." -_-

[@thoruszwolf4153]

@@bronco5334 That's some good work... did you by any chance receive your engineering degree from Clan Spaniel o.O?

[@jackbiesty3729]

The Rageaholic. God fucking speed.

[@micksquizzy]

The logic of tabletop games...

[@micksquizzy]

3 years later I am back and completely forgot I made this comment.

[@Aesthetomancer]

Stonewall amazing

[@petercampi2840]

Actually this pure bullshit. What actually happens is the "lucky shot"; where an otherwise harmless attack hits the bullseye on an Achilles heel.

[@cesarandrade1987]

Hey man wanna comment 10 months later?

[@feartheghus]

And world of tanks, rnjesus protect me!

[@Jebsucks]

0:24 *may* be the most badass-looking Urbanmech I have ever seen.

[@deusexcapsicum1368]

I just tried to get a friend into Battletech, and made a clanner Vapor Eagle duel for him as an introductory game. *First turn* Taught him how to move, position, weapon types and equipment... Nothing out of the ordinary. *Second turn* Taught him what happens when you destroy all armor: Rolled a head shot with the large laser... How crits work: Got a single crit... What each component does: Cockpit crit... And now I'm teaching him how to play Frostgrave...

[@DwarfyDoodad]

So to teach someone a game you had them run into something specifically designed to win one on one duels and is generally not friendly for a first experience even if you play badly? Sounds like you don't like teaching games as much as just winning uneven ones.

[@deusexcapsicum1368]

@@DwarfyDoodad Since you don't seem to like comprehensive reading, a "duel" implies equal conditions with *equal* mechs. I'm such a monster for trying to teach someone how to play using a mech with good mobility and "map friendly" jumpjets so he could more easily adapt to the battlegrid and reposition in case of mistakes, that had a decent array of weapons with almost no one-shot capability, every single weapon being low damage but easy to land hits with, only exception being the pulse large laser (what are the chances of a long range large laser shot to the head criting the cockpit? Duh). Add to that Clanner XL engine survivability, low heat generation and C.A.S.E. in case of ammo crit. A survivalist novice friendly brawler perfect for learning the ABCs before jumping into a real battle with Inner Sphere lances. But don't worry O! Grand keyboard (mech)warrior of the internet, your complaints have been properly noted and will be properly considered over the course of the next 3 seconds, time after I'll stop giving a crap. Thanks for your consideration.

[@jakeapplegate6642]

@@deusexcapsicum1368 the problem is you started with clan mechs. I just got a friend to play with me and we started with 1 light mech and 1 medium mech each at first and at the introductory tech level so nothing fancy. it went great and he even pulled off a cool move where he pushed one of my guys off a cliff.

[@DwarfyDoodad]

​@@deusexcapsicum1368 I mean...3025 is the basis for Introductory level for a reason. I get wanting to play with the cool toys, but that's not really how you introduce someone to a hobby.

[@CrizzyEyes]

@@jakeapplegate6642 Agreed, Clan 'Mechs are not newbie friendly at all. I learned that the hard way when I tried to play MegaMek online, jumped into Clan and got my face stomped, repeatedly, by more numerous opposing IS lances thanks to their lower BV. They are the classic "high risk, high reward" alternative option.

[@qawamity]

I must have seen this at least a dozen times, and just noticed the moon getting blown away today.

[@LASTCARonBROCK]

The music just makes it! Funniest thing I've watched all month!

[@3ZPaNH0L]

whats the song btw?

[@mjnelson91]

Adrian Couso Vegita - Super Saiyan (from The Best of Dragon Ball Z, Vol 1)

[@3ZPaNH0L]

mjnelson91 not that one...the first one

[@AmazingAutist]

Adrian Couso The song is _"Rumble"_ by Link Wray

[@ArtietheArchon]

Seath disliked this video, because he's still mad he ain't got no legs

[@Alexandersync]

Ain't even got legs!

[@unclestone8406]

... ... *_"Lightnin'..."_*

[@RamrodAI]

I really really really hope someone gets the DBZ reference this whole video. It's when Vegeta fires his attack at Cell.

[@ishadowxwraithi1740]

I did

[@mbarker_lng]

Can't agree more. I remember bringing the perfect army for the map at hand and having my most powerful unit crippled on the first hit (low point game; a Rommel tank) then not being able to kill a LRM carrier with paper-thin armor even in melee because the damage kept 'spreading'. Next game; same result- lost my centerpiece "Annihilator" on the first hit through the armor due to ammo explosion. Fun! (not.)

[@MrPikaGammer]

So anyone come back here after a decade and realize this is how you were properly introduced to Battletech? Before I saw this animation I played Mech Assault and heard of Mechwarrior but never put the 2+2 that they were connected until I saw this.

[@PleasantlyLee]

I really want to hear what the Greaser mech says as he is being obliterated by a double 5 roll.

[@madmansprinkles]

Urbies are the most adorable little death machines XD The running animation in mwo is priceless :')

[@ixiah]

And suddenly this video is (somewhat) relevant again, with the release of Battletech 2018 for pc :)

[@notsae66]

And relevant once more with the ongoing Grimdank Heresy splitting 40k apart and thousands of fans fleeing the burning fandom to greener pastures.

[@VallornDeathblade]

@@notsae66 I was drawn back to this by that.

[@Lithobraker]

Small Laser = ERPPCx100

[@hughsmith7504]

Ahh, that's cute, he named it small laz...OH SHIT!!!!

[@stevenmorton298]

This reminds me of a custom made 55 tonner a friend of mine made. It didn't seem like much compared to the 100 tonners I just faced. Little did I know that it was packing an Ultra AC/20...

[@ryuail]

This kinda reminds me of this one Tyranid I had, a Genestealer who; for 4 games straight, every time a save was thrown for it, the dice would come up 6, saving it. When it finally did die I gave that model a custom paint job and retired it forever.

[@Icedpyre]

This is somehow more amusing to watch now that CGL has urbanmech plushies coming out with the KS this year.

[@Afr0Thund3r]

I just played my first game of Megamek 2 days ago. It ended with my Dragon kicking the enemy Mechwarrior after she ejected. I then failed the shutdown roll, next roll fail made it fall, then the pilot took damage AND blacked out. Afterwards, the SRM magazine exploded and the mech was done after that. My pilot even took damage damage during the ejection, FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!! Haha

[@PlagueOfGripes]

"Rumble" by Link Wray

[@thegreatbamboozler4837]

FUUNNNNN-EEEEEEE! Saw this happen with a girl I was dating who was DYING to play the game so she convinced a friend of mine to play... her Atlas vs. his Cyclops.... first round, first shot..... GAUSS TO THE HEAD! My friend was furious, and my girl was hooked!

[@BazztheBazz]

Oh, Battletech. One part deep and complex strategy where making the best use of your movement, positioning, and terrain can mean the difference between life and death, three parts absurdist comedy where your own ammunition kills you more often than enemy fire. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

[@CrizzyEyes]

In my Dark Heresy group, we had a cleric that had Fate points pouring out of his ass. At one point, he had to travel across an exposed walkway with a Praetorian servitor covering it with heavy machinegun fire. He had a talent called Grace or something similar that allowed him to regain a Fate point on a d10 roll of 8, 9, or 10. For all the damage taken, he spent Fate to mitigate damage by d5, rolled max each time, and regained each Fate point. He took it as a sign he was the Emperor's chosen.

[@danksterdan1682]

NANOFAITH SON IT HARDENS IN RESPONSE TO PHYSICAL TRAUMA

[@racer927]

That's how I felt when I was doing a practice game against an Awesome in my Mad Cat. The Awesome rolled a 12 to hit me in the Head, tore away the armor and did internal damage, thus rolled a Critical Hit... It was a 12 as well and instantly blew the Head off my 'Mech. (Rolling a 12 in determining critical hits means the Arm/Leg/Head is instantly destroyed while CT/RT/LT takes three critical hits)

[@inquisitorbenediktanders3142]

So that's why it's tex favorite mech!

[@baker90338]

@@inquisitorbenediktanders3142 no, it’s because it’s got multiple ppc’s and is in a rare class of mechs known as “zombie mechs”

[@inquisitorbenediktanders3142]

@@baker90338 k.

[@PlagueOfGripes]

Hunchback. Sort of. The leader is a Hermes II. The other one is a Pouncer. Again, sort of. The actual mechs involved in the real fight weren't these aside from the Urbanmech and I think the Hunchback. I just chose new ones that would look better in leather jackets and glasses.

[@Nupetiet]

nice use of Rumble! Fuck Google. Stop switching me into the account I DON'T want to use every single time I come to KZbin.

[@jaffarebellion292]

"You don't seem to understand, Clanners. The Inner Sphere ISN'T YOURS TO CONQUER"

[@starlightdragon2665]

Ok. I have Battletech on PC and I ran games with the Excellent Murder Crab (KGC-0001) and I kept hearing about the Urbans and even noticed the joke of an urban right in the beginning of the game. So later I went to the skirmish and made a team of all AC20 Urban's vs an assault lance. Tell me again how this game is fair and balanced? The Urbans only lost two weapons and took minor damage... The enemy lance?... What lance?...

[@GrenadeMcSticki]

During the last BT game I played the second SRM of the first opening salvo crit my full AC ammo in my hatchetmans chest and wrote it as a total loss. An investigation of the maintenance crew was conducted and those associated have been sacked.

[@bizophone]

Ahahah this reminds me of way back in 96 when my overly confident buddy and I went to a Battletech tournament. He was gonna own everyone in his Hot-Tomatoandcheese; first round, first move from the opposite team and he's headshot. I will never, ever forget that look of disbelief.

[@PlagueOfGripes]

This will sound dumb but I did it because I didn't want them to show up but for a second and 5s are a little easier to see at a glance than 6s, because of that X shape. I also kind of got a kick out of implying it could have been worse, somehow.

[@KaizonArkin]

*I'M THE PRINCE OF ALL MECHSAIYANS!!!*

[@vertikil]

FINAL FLASH!!!

[@VerdeMorte]

This aged well with the new game release...

[@heckinmemes6430]

"Please stoooooop!~" "IT'S TOO LATE, THE PIANO SOLO HAS STARTED!" *Bwooooom*

[@lordhood117]

And this is why the UrbanLord exists. I mean, the YAML mod for MW5 equips the thing with a RISC Hyper Laser. Because f*** your Atlas, BIG BANG ATTACK.

[@SEPOLOL]

It's not Awesome, it's Urbanmech!

[@shrummotorracing4186]

Urban mech laughs in 360° rotation

[@LastMumzy]

Must've been a Small Pulse Laser

[@DinsRune]

It's a trash _can,_ Plague, not a trash _can't._ No curbie the urbie!

[@PlagueOfGripes]

I ain't drawin more dice. Hand animating those things... ugh.

[@Squamylishus]

That comb gets me every time.

[@vejolta]

that fucking bruce faulkner ass music

[@sigilumsanctum2105]

+vejolta Are you...are you insulting Bruce Faulconer?

[@vejolta]

well hearing his music made me almost jizz in my pants. so you tell me.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Japanese soundtrack for Life.

[@Selfhigh5Tv]

The japanese soundtrack is awful outside of the intros/outro's and Hironobu Kageyama.

[@IceFire1800]

With BATTLETECH out now, this has never been more relevant

[@battlespace13]

Because there's no pleasure like beheading an Atlas. In the city. On turn one. "You in my house now beotch!" Go Urbanmech!

[@deweylewey7820]

Mess with the urb, you get the curb.

[@brodypullishy932]

Battletech in a nutshell

[@rowangallagher4579]

Good trigun vibes bro Need more of this

[@chuckthornton4949]

I would have thought there would have been more explosions in space from the Zentradi fleet ships blowing up...

[@lylatfox4]

Oh my god plague, im so glad I came across this.

[@grozaAC]

The song is Link Wray - Rumble.

[@CJD345]

Big things come in small packages

[@austinrusk9195]

I remember seeing this in webcomic form years ago. I wonder if it was Plague who drew it?

[@StormSpotter342]

You bulli the Urb, you wind up biting the curb.

[@sluggo9687]

1 urbanmech with a nuke wiped out a whole Kell Hound army. This is actually canon. Urbie is actually the inner sphere Dalek

[@canislupus3655]

Those Cincinnati boys are a cut above the rest

[@ZephKin]

How did he NOT OVERHEAT FROM THAT!?!?!?! lol xD That's worse than a Nova with 12 flamers!! and for a small laser.. lol

[@kyndjal3118]

ALPHA STRIKE over 9000,plus shoddy house rules like 100X heatsinks

[@DAM315T3R]

Recipe for the perfect heat efficient Nova: Nova + 12 TAG Guaranteed never to overheat or halve your money back ;)

[@Jetman123]

It was one small laser. THROUGH ARMOR CRITICAAALLLLSSS

[@Bagheera2]

Jetman123 Through armor crit some ammo, and a few reactor explosions...lol

[@DocDelray]

I had a moment like this once. Enemy Awesome was getting back to it's feet when my Huntsman critically hit the head with a small laser. Instant death.

[@armoredp]

Love the use or vegeta's theme here, just epic! Wonder if TeamFourStar of Dragonball Abridged got inspired by this bit for Cell's "OH SHIT" moment.

[@murderkai9986]

armoredp Did someone swap your R and F keys?

[@armoredp]

Murderkai Let's do something radical and think about what you just said for a second. Did I make 6 typos switching the r for an f because those 2 keys are switched? Or did I, I don't know.. simply make one typo where I switched 1 f for an r?

[@murderkai9986]

*walks away giggling...

[@armoredp]

Murderkai Glad you're easily entertained..

[@DeathKnight5608]

+armoredp Cell's "Oh shit!!" moment happened waaaay before TeamFourStar got close to that episode. Also, there is no better way to respond to imminent death than "Oh shit", so that's probably why they kept the line.

[@csnation]

Well there is a canon nuclear Urbie... so yeah it is possible :P

[@kamikazelookinheads3494]

This animation how old and it's still fucking amazing I love Battletech

[@steveray9646]

a work of art

[@victorrain]

Seeing the cigarette I’m the robot’s mouth reminded me of Briareos eating fries in the original Appleseed.

[@VerminBourbon]

I love your addition of music to your videos, heh. From the hip hop in the horror videos, to Rumble in this one. Just a nice touch.

[@WhiskeyTango84]

First gripes video I found by mistake trying to prove a friend why battle tech didn't suck. He is no longer my friend after watching this.

[@existenceisrelative]

Genius. Like a cat at a buffet. Or a canary on a pencil made of butter. Or Ted Danson's mighty thumbnail.

[@faismasterx]

I nearly shat my pants laughing at this. Awesome vid. Captures the hilarity of some BT situations perfectly.

[@VoltOptConstruct]

It represents that even a small laser, on a die roll of 12, will fuck your shit up, even if you're the most heavily armored guy around. Number one reason why I love light mechs.

[@trentonarney6066]

RazorFist recommened this. Glad he did.

[@mwellnow5016]

Glad the algorithm gave me this today lmao

[@knightpal1545]

The urban mech, also known as concealed carry permit holder. Because not even a assault mech can do much against a trashcan wielding a nuclear arsenal

[@thedogoffaleash]

Rumble, Link Wray, first song I learned on guitar!

[@EltonFerns]

I am learning it now

[@GnomeDeathKnight]

This is glorious, you have my respect, my thanks, and my TSM Hatchetman.

[@connormclernon26]

Just remember folks, it’s the TrashCAN, not the TrashCANT

[@carlphilippgaebler5704]

Hit Location: Through Armor Critical. Criticals Hit: Engine, Engine, Engine. Thanks for playing!

[@lupvirga]

Urbanmech cored one of the assaults causing it to go critical, the enemy mechs failed their save and got wiped out while the urban succeeded in it's.

[@l4unchp4dgaming38]

Love the Final Flash music.

[@JS-kr8fs]

It's been 11 years...

[@BunnyWitch17]

*Rolls dice* Ima firing ma LAAAAZZOOOOOOOORR!

[@barkspawn]

More like Urbanemech

[@Clickum]

Any game that allows me to randomly summon Bahamut has my vote.

[@bradypus55]

It's called "rumble" I don't know who made it but it's on the pulp fiction soundtrack. During the 1950's dinner scene conversation.

[@Phoenix7786]

As an Urbie fan on both MWO and the HBS BT, I've had these moments >:D