Why Can't Men Find Things Right In Front of Their Face?

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[@TodayIFoundOut]

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[@TheAk1292]

Very interesting. But I wonder if this video gets taken down for being anti-trans? This may sound silly, but we live in silly times. A recent KZbinr's video was taken down from TikTok exactly for this reason even though Trans people made videos saying the same thing.

[@HonkHonkler]

It's almost like men were never meant to be used to this modern lifestyle... It's almost like we live in a gynocentric society that's trying to beat men into submission or into a some weird slave of the modern world when we're really meant to be outside, in nature and being physical.

[@richsackett3423]

Please stop speeding up your videos. 0.9x is correct. We've been listening to Simon for years and know how he talks.

[@roskar]

Please shave that beard! 😅

[@tikimillie]

Excuse me i am a woman and this happens to me too all the time.

[@navret1707]

At my age it’s not a matter of seeing something or not. It’s a matter of trying to remember why the hell I’m in the refrigerator to begin with.

[@leagueaddict8357]

Walk back and don't think anything most of the time it will pop right back up.

[@kateshiningdeer3334]

My best friend in college explained it this way - when you stand up to get whatever you needed, whatever that thought was falls down to your butt. That's why when you get there, you no longer remember what you were going to get. And as soon as you sit down, the force of sitting rockets it right back into your brain, and then you remember it again! Totally fanciful, of course, but it still makes me laugh 20 years later!

[@RubyDoobieScoo]

That's not refrigerator blindness, it's early onset dementia.

[@slake9727]

At least you can sing the lyrics to one of the 10,000 plus songs you easily remember.

[@LRM12o8]

@@RubyDoobieScoo or AD(H)D. I've experienced this problem a lot as a teenager, took me only like ten steps to get from the living room to the kitchen, yet I'd forgotten what I was going to get by the time I got there. Doesn't happen nearly as much these days. Obviously ADD doesn't just go away with adulthood, but you do learn to hold on to a though/goal over time and become less distractible to an extent. At least when you consciously focus on something.

[@Nylak-Otter]

I'm a woman, and I have terrible refrigerator blindness. I've gotten so bad that I have fabric tabs on my cell phone and my keys that are both scented with birch oil which I refresh as needed. My dog (a search and rescue K9 specializing in human remains detection) has been trained to find and retrieve them for me by their distinctive scent, wheresoever they may wander. They can have slipped behind a pillow on the couch, and I'll toss the entire couch looking for them and still not find them. My dog thinks I'm an idiot.

[@AaronLitz]

Do you perhaps have undiagnosed ADHD? Not making fun of you; that sounds like me.

[@Nylak-Otter]

@@AaronLitz Oh, yes; it's very much diagnosed. I've been medicated for it for over 20 years. 😂 My dogs have better task management than I do.

[@ROBYNMARKOW]

I'm terrible in the kitchen when looking for items but I have ADD so that probably has something to do w/it..

[@user-bg2oi4bz3p]

I can find anything in the fridge...once I remember why I opened the fridge door. Sometimes it requires going back to the sofa to think about what I was after. My fridge is arranged so everything is always in the same spot. My keys are always in the same spot. Some food items in the cupboards or on the bench are in the same spot. No problem with those. Items that are used every day, but out of order, I have difficulty with. I seem to think it should be retrieved instantly. I think I don't actually slow down and focus on the item I'm looking for in a pile of items. Sort of like sensory overload with so many items. I don't have a cell phone. I don't think I would enjoy looking for that all the time.

[@Nylak-Otter]

@Abhijeet Kundu No, but I am a lesbian.

[@mdansbyjr]

4:30: As a man who maintains the house while the "Woman of the House" does the "bringing home the bacon", I can confirm that SHE can't find **anything** in the house while I usually know precisely where it is, supporting the theory presented at this point in the video!

[@amicaaranearum]

Same here. My husband primarily does the shopping and stocking, and I can be staring right at something and not see it.

[@speccogecko7296]

I’m the daughter and I do the grocery shop with my parents and often alone and do most of the pantry/fridge stocking so I often know what we have a where it is over my siblings and parents

[@davidburroughs2244]

Um.... my wife is excellent in and around the house, and that includes cooking, cleaning, etc. She does have what I think is an issue with putting things on the same place twice, as in nearly never, and I help her search those out. She does have to help me find things I have failed to put in the same place, and I appreciate that - even if it is found literally two feet away from where I usually place it...

[@dooshnukem32]

My wife typically does the grocery shopping for us. I used to let food she had bought for me go to waste, even things I had specifically requested, as I would often forget about them, save for a few moments where I would inadvertently recall their existence if they were close enough to something else I was actively looking for. The solution (for the most part, we both battle with ADD lol) was for her to wait to shop until she knows I'll be home when she arrives with everything, verbally itemize specific items for me as they come out of the bags, and for me to be involved in putting everything away. Verbal, visual, and physical confirmation. Seems to support the idea suggested in the video, at least anecdotally.

[@petergerdes1094]

@@dooshnukem32o do you find things in random boxes around the house too? If I ever leave a box out somehow my wife will come home full of ADHD and drop random important items into it while thinking about something else. Finding wallets and phones is always a problem but weirdly never food.

[@anyawillowfan]

The issue I've found with men in my family (father and brothers) is not so much not seeing things directly in front of their faces, but they rarely seem able to consider moving items to check if the item they're looking for is behind something. This goes mainly for food, but does happen with things in drawers too.

[@ArthKryst]

As a guy I can confirm this because generally what happens is atleast in my case I open the fridge and seem to have an overview of all the items and feel like I don't need to move anything to spot it. If it's there, I can spot it without having to make a mess. Plus I'm a bit clumsy so I try my best not to use my stupid hands to move stuff

[@bujin1977]

When gathering, it is relatively safe to move one bush out of the way to find the berries you are looking for than to pick up and move an elephant standing in the way of the animal that is being hunted.

[@ChaoticNeutralMatt]

I'll admit that I think to move stuff AFTER I checked places and can't find it and think, huh, guess it might be behind something out of sight. Funnest times is when it's in plain sight and I just couldn't see it.

[@Fauxchemill]

🤣😂 truth.

[@zarasamuels9377]

I couldn't agree more, interestingly I notice this in kids, even with under 5s and i regularly observe small girls able to find there own belongings as well toys when want to play with easy whereas alot of boys need a little more assistant, it would be really intriguing to see if actual research on it.

[@JoseFlores-xh5cj]

As a Mexican, I think our trauma has a lot to do with the fact that you confidently grab the butter tub then you suddenly get assaulted by homemade hot sauce. So it's not just finding the item, it's double checking to see that it has the material you want as well, thus causing blindness.

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

Oh God I lived with my southern grandma for a little while as a kid and she did the same thing. NOTHING WAS ACCURATE. She would even reuse gallons of milk lmao one time I grabbed a quart of milk for some cereal, AND IT WAS FCKING GRAVY BRUH

[@ken_kaniff246]

It's a fun game to play. See if you can guess which butter container actually has butter in it, on your first try

[@Kewlausgirl]

Haha that's not just a Mexican thing... That's across a lot of cultures. My Mum is from the Boomer generation and reuses butter containers to put nuts in there in the fridge (to keep it cool) or left over gravy, or sauces, or left over fat from the meal that she is keeping to put towards a stew or to soup that she is making. She had my partner put all the left overs from the last couple of days over Christmas... Where it wasn't enough for another meal or even for just one person... And made it into some sorta weird stir fry on her instructions. It wasn't that tasty... But my partner doesn't like going off the recipe or just on instinct... He likes following the recipe. Whereas if I had been there at the time, I could have made it much better than what was attempted lol. My Mum is the type of person that likes medium to well done/well done cooked food lol. So yeah sometimes not the best pallet for things. -_- Anyhoo yeah she got this from her parents where they had to be thrifty with things during/after World War 2. So it makes sense that the older generation is like that. Where as I guess is younger generations have been brought up with consumerism and do that less often. That or we see the value in going out and buying actual storage containers to store left overs (especially coz they are sealed). So we don't have this issue. Plus we know that reusing those containers over and over again deteriorate and leech into the food/water.

[@ariellealexander1534]

Sweing cookies

[@ken_kaniff246]

Those containers come in so clutch tho, it's irresponsible not to keep them

[@nathanwoodruff82]

I have never had a problem finding items in a full refrigerator while living alone. Everything always stays where I put it.

[@taitano12]

Not me. I'll put something in the fridge and I'll be unable to find it for a few seconds, or even a few minutes, when I come back to it just a few hours later. There's been times when I can't find something, assume I'm out, only to find it right where I was looking. And I swear I've had things go from one shelf to another. I am jealous of your abilities.

[@LRM12o8]

You sure you're a man? 😉 ... Just kidding, gender stereotypes like this one are pure bullshit and I don't even know why I'm even watching this video. I sure wouldn't, if it wasn't from FactBoy...

[@thousand_slayer9619]

@@taitano12 You weren't supposed to notice.

[@j6302]

Same.

[@katecoffee4744]

I know, right?

[@jenniferelkins]

I can confirm that refrigerator blindness has far less to do with sex and far more to do with which partner is the primary homemaker. I was a homemaker for over a decade before going back to work in place of my husband who became disabled. It only took a couple of months for him to be the one who knew where everything was and for me to be the one who was constantly asking where things were. He was obnoxiously refrigerator blind before that.

[@nickabel8279]

Are you obnoxiously refrigerate blind now, or just regular refrigerator blind?

[@serenapenner3581]

I tend to agree, and believe it is based more on the roles rather than the sex. I've witnessed men who are home more or do more of the domestic roles can and do preform better than women if their spouse does not do the shopping or cooking regularly.

[@silverhawkroman]

My mom would move ish around so often and she'd get angry at me for not finding what I'm looking for. Now that I live alone, I know where every single item is, it's just my house is a mess and would require moving half the stuff there 😂

[@jenniferelkins]

@@nickabel8279 LOL! I have gotten better because I've grown more accustomed to my husband's organizational style, but for a while I was definitely obnoxiously refrigerator blind. Thanks for the laugh! 😂

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

Your husband is a lucky man to have someone like you

[@darren4392]

You hit the nail on the head when you said the person purchasing the item and putting it away knows exactly where it is. It has nothing to do with sex. I am male, live alone and can find what ever I'm looking for in my home. Visitors both male and female often have difficulty finding things, even with a detailed description of the location from me. When I was married and my wife did the shopping, I suffered from the same domestic blindness on occasion.

[@LRM12o8]

Same for me. I could stare into the fridge for hours and not find the requested item when I was living with my parents and they asked me to get them some food item or sauce that I myself would never eat. Now living alone, however, I never struggled to find anything in my fridge.

[@SuprousOxide]

I put a lot of the food away, but my wife disagrees with my choices of food arrangement, so look for the cheese in the center bottom drawer where I know I put it, but she's moved it up a shelf

[@igotnoname4557]

@@SuprousOxide You should never store cooked food below raw food. Cheese is a cooked food (we mean 'not to be further cooked' when we say 'cooked' in this situation). It shouldn't be in the bottom drawer. The reason for this is that you don't want a situation where juice from raw meat may drip onto cooked food. If you were a restaurant, that'd be 1 out of 3 strikes before you get shut down.

[@SuprousOxide]

@@igotnoname4557 the raw meat is in the other fridge downstairs.

[@darren4392]

@@SuprousOxide Yeah, I can relate to that one. (not the down stairs fridge, the wife that moves things.)

[@daverei1211]

At my house my wife calls it “Male Pattern Blindness” as both my son, nephew and myself all suffers from not being able to find things in the fridge.

[@Gunshinzero]

ROFL that's hilarious.

[@jrmckim]

Thats the actual term for it tho. Google search it

[@xErinxx]

I totally think it’s just a role issue. My dad was a stay at home parent when I was a kid so he did all the shopping and cooking and so my parents had the reverse problem where my mom couldn’t find basic things around the kitchen. Now I’m an adult living with my bf and we shop/cook pretty equally, and we both have times we can’t find something simply because the other person moved it or repackaged it. That’s all it is

[@volodx]

I have the same option. Me and my gf have te same problems:)

[@craigoryrobie5676]

Agreed 🤝

[@user-is7xs1mr9y]

I agree. I live with my dad and brother, and I'm a woman. My brother and I are the ones in charge of buying the groceries and cooking, so we find stuff pretty easily. My dad on the other hand is often asking us where stuff is lol. But I gotta give him props, he's improved greatly.

[@devforfun5618]

in my case, i store the food in the cabinets, and my mother stores food inside the refrigerator, so i know were everything is outside of the refrigerator, but not inside the refrigerator because she is constantly shifting it

[@laurao3274]

My dad buys a many groceries as my mom. My husband is just as likely to go shopping as me, or at least to put the groceries away. But whether or not my dad and my husband have put the groceries away, they can never find anything. They suffer from fridge blindness regardless of circumstances.

[@thecommenternobodycaresabout]

To take it one step further there is another type of refridgerator blindness and that is general searching blindness. This means that, if you have a large amount of objects in front of you, you may not see the object you are looking for in general, even if you look towards it. This can be encountered in storages and even supermarkets.

[@markzuckergecko621]

I was looking for a step ladder at work the other day, and couldn't find it for the life of me, I checked the immediate places it usually is, nothing, I checked some obscure places it could be, nothing, I just did a general scan, still nothing. Few hours later when I didn't need it anymore, I found it in the bathroom. Why it was in the bathroom...... Dunno. But I probably didn't see it because why would it be in the bathroom? Completely illogical. I even walked by it several times with the door open when I was looking.

[@blackmagemasher4031]

Boy do I know this with my x-mas lights. They are in the garage.... somewhere

[@tumslucks9781]

@@markzuckergecko621 I live in a one bedroom apartment. That's where I keep my stepladder lol. Everytime I need a shower I have to empty the bathroom of junk.

[@QBCPerdition]

I think this is a big thing, at least for me. I've noticed that when I'm looking for something, I tend to just scan the area, not focusing on anything, letting what I'm looking for "jump out at me". This works really well in less crowded situations, or as stated in the video, when the thing is moving. When I'm looking for something in a crowded fridge, store, or drawer, this works less often. I've also noticed that when I have a stronger idea of what something looks like, I find it easier. If someone asks me to get the kitchen scissors, aside from knowing where they almost always are, I know exactly what they look like, so even if they are not where they belong, I can scan the kitchen and find them, even if the counter is covered in items. However, if I'm told to get something I am less familiar with, even if given a vague description, "the long red thing with stars on it" or whatever, I can look over it time after time and it won't jump out at me, and I'll think I'm looking in the wrong place. This one is a big issue, because my wife always knows what everything looks like. She'll ask me to get something, but will either be vague in its description, it's location, or both. I'll look and look, and finally give up. She'll go right where I was looking and grab it. My only responses are "oh, I didn't see it there" or "oh, that doesn't look like I thought it did."

[@perrydowd9285]

And laboratories. A lab I worked in had a rule. If you can't find a sample after 10 mins ask someone else if they can find it.

[@georgejones3526]

As a kid I once spent 15 minutes looking for the pair of glasses I was wearing. I guess that would qualify.

[@masterchef6800]

As a glasses wearer I can confirm

[@csebesta84]

I have done the same thing.

[@Ass_of_Amalek]

I don't wear glasses, but have looked for thingsI had in my hands or pockets before. plus things that I already went and got a minute earlier.

[@thecommenternobodycaresabout]

There was a point I was wearing glasses that they couldn't hold the lenses tight enough and could fall. So each time I wanted to check if my glasses had their lenses I would touch them to confirm their existence. Now, whenever my glasses reach that point, I either use superglue to keep the lenses in place or replace the glasses alltogether.

[@georgejones3526]

@@Ass_of_Amalek I’ve seen a couple of youtube videos of someone sweeping a floor, tucking the broom under their arm to get a dustpan, then spend five minutes looking for the broom which is still tucked under their arm.

[@Battle_Beard]

I’m a married man with kids. I do almost all of the shopping, putting the groceries away, and a good bit of cooking. I would say that I have a much easier time locating food in the house than my wife. I do however frequently have to search for things like keys, wallet, or other random household items and suffer the heckling of wife and daughters when I call a green shirt brown.

[@andrewmize823]

In my house growing up, if you couldn't find something it was usually because my mom had rearranged everything for the fourth time in three days. She had OCD, and she could never quite get everything situated to her satisfaction. She'd rearrange the refridgerator and the pantry just about every time she opened the door. You'd go looking for a can of soup and it would be on the opposite side of the pantry from the day before, or on a completely different shelf. She'd get frustrated with us because what made perfect sense to her wasn't completely obvious to everybody else. That can of tomato soup or whatever had a particular place it was supposed to be, and you were just supposed to know where that was based on the arbitrary whims of a chronic re-organizer. The thought of just looking for something in the last place you remembered seeing it was completely foreign to her.

[@MoltenPlastic]

Same here. And she would shuffle my stuff to the attic or basement without telling me, and then forget that she even had done.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

In my house everything is always in the exact same place because I HATE losing stuff, but my husband still can't find anything, and when I tell him (with great detail) where the thing he's looking for is he's walks away while I'm talking, which means he doesn't really want to find it he wants me to get up and get it for him

[@DrRyan82994]

I feel this deeply. it got a lot worse when my mom lost a bit of memory retention after an emergency. ask her where a thing is, she's doesn't know, she knows she moved it and that's it lol.

[@TRFAD]

My grandmother does this. She moves shit constantly. Dishes are always In new places

[@lydia8965]

My husband while putting away dishes, "Where do you want to keep this?" Me: "How about the same place it's been kept since we moved in here two years ago?"

[@DanielTompkinsGuitar]

I’m colorblind and it’s true that in addition to not being able to see color well, I also ignore color as a distinguishing factor but am more focused on texture, shading, and movement. When hiking I’m almost always first to spot wildlife yet can’t tell if a banana is ripe. 😂

[@frenchys_prospecting]

r/BananaForScale

[@memesfromdeepspace1075]

That to relatable.......

[@spacecat8511]

…as someone who’s hyper sensitive to color but Cannot spot the wildlife or do well with those I Spy or Where’s Waldo books…this is so damn relatable (but other side of the coin) 😅🤣

[@beagleissleeping5359]

I remember being a kid and having mom point and exclaim, "Look at that!" And often not knowing what the "that" was. She once made the suggestion that maybe I'd needed glasses earlier on in life. (I got my first pair I think at 10 or 11 years old.) I made the counter suggestion that we just have differing opinions on what is interesting.

[@williamchamberlain2263]

When someone is riding shotgun and pointing out things up and down the street, then jumps when the car in front starts braking ; different focus from the person driving.

[@silverhawkroman]

This is how I learned to point at things from the viewpoint of the person, meaning sometimes exaggerating the direction so that they could find it easier. I have yet to have a single time where I would have to further explain the location

[@mbyard356]

I don’t have any trouble seeing things in the fridge. I have trouble remembering what I’m looking for in the fridge. 😂

[@richardtownley4571]

If I can't see it, it doesn't exist, it's not just a man thing it's quantum physics 😂

[@jimflagg4009]

Does not exist until you measure it.

[@richardtownley4571]

You know it Jim!

[@Erin-Thor]

🤣

[@IntrepidFraidyCat]

😆👍🏻

[@downloadableskills]

@@jimflagg4009 wait... If I've never mentioned myself..... "I need a measuring tape. STAT! The lives of my future offspring depend upon it!"

[@antrazitaj5209]

Had a specific case of that. Lost my glasses for 3 days, found them in my fridge. And yes, during the time I didn't find my glasses I looked in the fridge a few times a day and my eyes are not that bad

[@adriad4855]

That's ok, I regularly spend 20+ minutes looking for my glasses and I'm wearing them. Not just on my head or around my neck, but I'm actually looking through them at the time... and I'm a middle aged lady with fairly good eyesight for my age!

[@kamron_thurmond]

I just call it the Ketchup Zone phenomena. It is not restricted to any age group or gender or to just the refrigerator. I work retail sales, and every so often I will have to walk up, and touch an item that is on the Shelf to make it appear in front of a whole variety of different people. This is with over my decade in the business worth of data samples.

[@ContinuationDay]

MORE RESEARCH NEEDS TO BE DONE! My husband, all 3 of my intelligent male children and the male nurse I worked with ALL have terrible “refrigerator blindness” and even when THEY THEMSELVES put an item away, they need my help to relocate the item. This is absolutely insane.

[@greywolf7577]

Do you think there is any stereotype about women that is true?

[@ContinuationDay]

@@greywolf7577 are any stereotypes considered the truth?

[@molybdaen11]

It's some kind of curse from all the woman having a shark week.

[@gljames24]

Do they do it regularly and have the fridge regions categorized in the brain?

[@ContinuationDay]

@@gljames24 they do it regularly. Our frig is pretty small and simple and not overcrowded generally and it still happens more often than not. I do believe they don’t store a mental image of what they’re looking for in their heads possibly due to not being the primary shoppers but it definitely doesn’t account for the very common blindness they have. Yesterday I pushed thawing dog food 4 inches forward on the counter and my husband couldn’t find the bowls…..😬

[@kristibunny1620]

My life is now complete after hearing Simon say “kitty kitty kitty” 🥰

[@sandybarnes887]

Excellent

[@hectorh.micheos.1717]

I think the phenomenon could be caused by the person searching for the item off-loading the task of actually locating it to the other person. "I didn't find the object, I will ask who will know" is the step prior to "I didn't immediately find it, so let's ask who will know", and this last one becoming eventually "ask where it is, don't look for it".

[@katebowers8107]

Yup! Read the Ask a Manager blog to see how often women get overloaded with tasks in the workplace that their male peers don’t have to do….

[@bettyir4302]

That's the game men play when it comes to chores. Mess it up and she won't ask him to do it again.

[@ceebee2858]

I wonder if this correlates in any way to asking for directions when lost...

[@LRM12o8]

@@bettyir4302 it goes both ways. When I still lived with my parents, my mom used to absolutely piss me off with her persistent habit of asking me to turn on the TV and Hi-Fi system for her, because "she doesn't know how it works" and whenever I tried to explain it to her, she'd refuse to listen, claiming "it's too complicated". All that despite the fact that she's a tech-savvy logical thinker, is the computer problem solver at the small law firm she works at and I actually learned from her how to figure out and understand electronic devices. There's no reason why she wouldn't understand and remember the three buttons she'd need to press, other than the silly stereotype of "women can't grasp electronic entertainment devices" and the fact her son is conveniently a computernerd/IT specialist. The truth is she has a very good intuitive understanding of electronic communication/media devices and watching her troubleshoot PC problems was how I learned to understand technology and built the foundation for me becoming a computer tinkerer and later IT specialist. I guess it's just easy and quite tempting for us all to use these silly gender stereotypes as an excuse to have someone else do inconvenient tasks for us. I would also be tempted to call someone else over from the dining room to turn the TV on for me, when I'm already lying on the couch, cozily wrapped in a blanket, only to realize that the remote control is out of reach, or that I forgot to switch on the power strip in the TV console. But as the most tech-savvy person in the household, I always had to get up again and do it myself. Nobody would've believed me that I didn't know how. On the other hand, I had trouble finding stuff in the fridge when I still lived with my parents. Especially when they asked me to get something specific, like some brand of BBQ sauce I never used. But since I'm living alone, I never had issues finding anything in my fridge and it's probably like Simon said because now I'm the one who bought the items and put them there, so I already know what to look for and where. ... or maybe I've turned into a woman and haven't realized it yet, who knows? My temperature preferences would - allegedly - corroborate this... 🤔

[@miglek9613]

Yeah, that's ableist as fuck. Since my teen years I was literally forced to search for things for 30 minutes or more, even when I couldn't physically locate it, before getting yelled at or even shaken for up to 10 minutes, then being given the thing. I struggle to locate things placed right in front of me, as well as leave things in random places with no memory of doing that, constantly no matter whether there's someone to help me out or not. Assuming this is something that develops because of a choice is wrong and is the reason why most neurodivergent people never get their needs met

[@thomosburn8740]

Years ago I had a shepherd/husky mixed male dog that would sit on the sofa between my stereo's speakers and he would turn his large bat-ears toward the "sweet spot" and listen to Beethoven piano sonatas. Lots of humans who listen to pop music have no idea that stereo speakers have a sweet spot, "phantom center" image, but this ordinary dog found it immediately. Ever since I have believed that animal intelligence is underrated . . . tests of their abilities are being designed and administered incorrectly. Some animals are clearly geniuses.

[@spacecat8511]

I agree. My cats have always had much much higher social, emotional, and language intelligence than my dogs (and I’m pretty deliberate with both species; the dogs pick up Routines in a Time of Day sorta way as dictated by their hunger and deification needs + Household Hiarchy which…as the “child”/“youngest child” that gets me as Free Competition + Servant vs Caregiver with these guys. UGH.) Like. I’ve trained my cats to ring bells to be let outside (cannot get the dogs to do that or bark. Even when they used the same door…), they definitely Read my body language to know when I’m Upset and needing comfort or feeling Happy/Silly and generally either tolerant or wanting In. If a Household Member is missing, it’s the cats who help look. If the rest of the humans are gone, I get company from the cats but never ever the dogs (trying to keep the dogs company anyway just gets them leaving the room to pout elsewhere. Doesn’t matter Which Room. If I enter it, try to pet them, they leave.) And my cats definitely know not only their own names, but the other household members’ names, as well as words like “Soon, Later, Now, Not Yet” etc-meanwhile the dogs…barely recognize anything beyond names, supper/breakfast, outside, and bedtime. Idk. It may-to a degree-be household dynamics. I raise the cats, and while I’m still heavily involves with the dogs and always have been, they’re more insistent on that damn higharcy and “can’t be bothered” to Learn Social Pidgin. Meanwhile, the dogs definitely DO have a great sense of direction and know the neighborhood and parks VERY well, and learned “left/right/straight” very quickly. They try to rush out into intersections out of impatience, but they do at least recognize when to initially pause less because Intersection, and more because my town installed different textured plates to signal where the intersections are for blind walkers. (Still. For the bad rep cats get? In my experience, it’s generally the cats that WANT to work with you vs Set A Routine And Never Deviate/MY Needs ONLY!!)

[@carolmeagher4134]

My problem is that I can't walk to the fridge

[@SoulDevoured]

@@spacecat8511 dude it just sounds like you don't like dogs and/or aren't interacting with them well. I say this as someone who currently has 3 cats and who's last dog passed away in 2020. Cats are wildly intelligent and sensitive to their human companions. But so are dogs. Dogs are bred from pack predators and need bonding routines and high stimulus activity. I have a feeling they're bonding less with you because other house members are tending to those needs.

[@spacecat8511]

@@SoulDevoured If it’s anything it’s that I don’t have The Knack + my position in the family unit-they DO pick on/jocky with those they view as “similar or lower” in the system, and I’m The Youngest/The Offspring. I also use The Same language that they’ve been taught to recognize for various members. They are damn routine oriented, and stuck in it; I’m adhd as hell. I can read dogs Just Fine, better than most Dog People with their poorly socialized dogs charging or raising hackles and trying to slink around to get behind me or go after MY Family’s Dogs…all while these assholes Insist their dogs are “being friendly” when no, it’s seconds away from a fight if we don’t keep walking or Leave Now. (I’ve also screamed at neighbor dogs for charging MY family’s dogs while we’re walking-by trying to jump their fences or being off-leashes.)

[@spacecat8511]

And IF the family is all together? The dogs like me a Bit better. They just take it out on me whenever the family leaves and I’m watching them because I am “lowest pack member/littermate??” I actually do quite a lot of their routines, and try to get them to play as well, but they’re Not Interested in playing. I have a set time I’m the one taking them out, associated with their supper routine, and when my family is Gone (quite often) I’m the one who does ALL of it And it doesn’t make a damn difference

[@SvdSinner]

This is a big topic for me. I was hit by a drunk driver a decade ago and took damage to the visual processing centers of my brain. I had problems of not being able to see objects in front of me on a table unless someone pointed to them. Once I knew they were there, I could see them without problems. It was a multi-year journey to learn and re-learn how to process things I saw before I was back to "normal" Learning how your brain works and how to to improve it is key to recovering from these types of injuries.

[@jrmckim]

Its been almost a year so I hope youve made even more progress.

[@SquishySenpai]

On the topic of cats, training and hearing, my brother had a cat that was apparently very unique. The cat quickly learned commands, about as quickly as a dog does. He knew his own name and his brother. When his brother got yelled at for doing something, he (the unique cat) would smack the one being yelled at with his paw. He even taught himself to use the toilet. Sadly he wound up having something akin to a stroke and it effectively made him a normal cat.

[@ROBYNMARKOW]

Aww,poor kitty😿: how old was he when he had his stroke?

[@SquishySenpai]

@@ROBYNMARKOW Not real old Maybe 4 years. I'm not even sure it was a stroke as the cat was never treated (my brother was extremely poor at the time). His description of the event, which was described more like a seizure, is all I have to go on, really .

[@kev3d]

I've had 8 cats in my life, and one in particular knew her name, would come when called, go to wherever I would tap (like a chair or table), when combined with the command "up", and would sit on command. And that was it, she learned nothing else and when I left for school and I returned after 9 months or something, she had forgotten all the commands and only responded to her name.

[@ROBYNMARKOW]

@@SquishySenpai Yeah,that's about 30 in human years. ( I've owned alot of cats ,just not all at once -lol) I had a one named Tigger ( Tiggy) & he started getting seizures in his senior years. We had to put him to sleep but he was about 17 & I had another 🐈,Maggy who had one & passed away but again, she was about 16 .Veterinarians can be extremely expensive so I hope your brother's cat is doing Ok now. 🤞

[@ROBYNMARKOW]

@@kev3d Sounds like she missed u ; especially if u were the one training her..🐈

[@Belboz99]

I went to switch out my 1/4" router collet for the 1/2" router collet in my workshop. I have a very specific location where I keep either collet when not in use. However, when I went to reach for the 1/2" collet it wasn't there. So, I double-checked all over that shelf, under other things, behind other things, etc. The missing item could not be found. I then searched the entire room, floor to ceiling, and still could not find it. I then returned to the shelf and once-more... checked the entire shelf thoroughly, under things, behind things, etc. The next day I repeated this whole affair, but to no avail. I'd thought maybe it'd fallen off and was on the floor, but it wasn't there either. I sighed, and decided it must've fallen off and then gotten sucked up in the shopvac whilst cleaning. So I opened up the vaccuum bag and stifted through the refuse, and again once more using a neodimium magnet on a grabber wand... my efforts proved fruitless. I then went back to the shelf once-more, thinking perhaps I was going mad... and still, the collet refused to show itself. I sighed once more, capitulated, and finally caved and bought myself a new 1/2" collet. It arrived the following day, I removed it from it's packaging and went to place it upon the shelf where it belonged. However, as I was about to place it upon the shelf I was dumbfounded to find the original one still sitting there, pretty as you please, directly before me.

[@minuteman4199]

You have shop gremlins. They're a very common but rarely seen species. I have the same problem.

[@jimrichards7014]

Classic!

[@wiseoldfool]

Leprechauns. Or tricksy little Hobbitses.

[@cssimps]

This kinda made me giggle a bit. I've been married 33 yrs & I can still tell my husband where whatever it is that he's looking for is in the house. I know I'm not alone in this. While my hubby has gotten a bit more stubborn, I am always reminding him to "ask me first" before he gets himself frustrated 'cause he can't find something. The struggle is real. 🤣 Great topic. Thank you Simon

[@Fauxchemill]

Sounds like me and my wife. I end up getting so frustrated looking for something just to have her find it almost immediately. I'm grateful though.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

It's the opposite with my husband, he asks me right away without looking by himself even a little. I always tell him to not say "I can't find X" because it implies he looked for it, just say "tell me where X is"

[@PositronWeaponD]

I was all insecure in my femininity because I can’t ever find things, even things I put away in some cases. But then I remembered being autistic makes me take in sensory information very differently than many people. Between that and having ADHD, of course I’m going to have a hard time finding something that’s not moving! I also remember you sharing the music for cats backstory in another TIFO vid and I’m super grateful. My kitties find it relaxing which in turn relaxes me!

[@XXXkazeXXX]

I’m also a female with ADHD and my trick to finding things is to never having to find them: using KonMari’s ”objects should have a home” philosophy I don’t have to look for my things since they usually are where they should be

[@sharlharmakhis280]

Autistic + ADHD overpower AFAB as far as my ability to find shit goes. if I put it away it disappears ~looks at the very nice Doc Marten shoes I was gifted last Christmas and still haven't broken in, let alone worn, because I put them away until it was warm enough for thinner socks and then forgot them~

[@XXXkazeXXX]

@@sharlharmakhis280 I feel you. I had a chocolate advent calendar as a kid, ate half of it within the first couple of days of that December, hid it from myself and found it next July! haha

[@hithere7382]

@@sharlharmakhis280 You could build a map of your house and then mark things with unique identifiers and a master sheet with their locations on it. It's terribly rigid but when my grandfather got a wee bit of dementia this helped him keep up with all the keys to the boats and cars etc, and to turn his oven and stuff off after he uses it and other things to not burn his rural acreage down.

[@BenjaminCronce]

@@XXXkazeXXX I've been diagnosed with ADHD, but is not stereotypical in many ways. More of a focus and limited but hyper-excitability for certain things. I do "remember" things quite differently. I've created a method by which I associate something with a pre-existing anchored idea. As long as I'm very consistent with my reasoning, I reach the same conclusion and correctly "remember" something. ”Objects should have a home” reminded me of this. Remembering through reason. For as bad as my rote memory is, having to remember through reason has required extensive use of abstract reasoning and abstract relationships. My creative problem solving is really good. I'll notice connections between ideas that others do not. And not because of extensive thinking, but just instantly because I need to in order to remember.

[@Surviving_N_Thriving]

This is literally the first time I've heard of this kind of blindness being linked with men. Happens to every human I know.

[@randomname4726]

Couples living together notice it all the time.

[@greywolf7577]

@@randomname4726 It's just a stereotype that people came up with. Men aren't necessarily any worse at finding things in the fridge than anyone else, it's just that there have been stories of men who are bad at it and people keep focusing on the small number of stories rather than the vast majority of men that don't have that problem.

[@literallypatrickbatemen]

Also the bros during COD "Sniper in the tower behind the oak tree 50 meters out, you can see the tip of his scope"

[@MsEsquire83]

It's a shame that the men who really need this video will never find it.

[@blueliesmatter2]

I searched for it but could not find it. Where is the video?

[@markzuckergecko621]

@@blueliesmatter2 I dunno man, I've been looking all over the internet and I can't find it.

[@Erin-Thor]

I agree completely. As I lose flashlights 🔦 repeatedly, I buy replacements frequently. Recently during a spring cleaning I was called on the carpet for this, there in one box placed in front of me were over 20 some-odd flashlights. All I could do was smile and shrug. 😁

[@victormontes7007]

I buy the big foot an half long ones that way I can always see them I lose objects smaller than 3 inches too easily

[@Erin-Thor]

@@victormontes7007 - That’s hilariously punny! 🤣

[@NoThankUBeQuiet]

@Victor Montes Well wait now. Men should be used to finding things 3 inches and under. They just tend to think they are 8 inches

[@DawnDavidson]

@@NoThankUBeQuietahaha😂 Seriously though, I picked up one of those “flashlights” that’s really just some LEDs in a flat flashlight shaped thing with a magnet on the back. Because our condo has the refrigerator right next to the front door, this means that it should always be findable … as long as someone puts it BACK after using it.

[@frontrowattheshitshow8849]

I really enjoyed that segment at the end about cats and dogs. I never considered heart rate and vocal tones to be so important.

[@llamasugar5478]

I had a professor who grew up in a very poor family in China, and consequently went for years without the glasses he didn’t realize he needed. One result of not getting glasses until he was 11 was that he never learned facial recognition. He had a lot of stories, some funny, some poignant, about situations arising from his disability.

[@danthepleb9244]

Yesterday I spent 5 minutes looking for my phone. I was holding it in my left hand the whole time.

[@rachelb4398]

I do that with my keys

[@mustalahde]

I've done the same thing with my phone. Difference is that I was talking on that same phone... Imagine my reddening cheeks when my sister begun laughing on the other end of the line

[@TrineDaely]

I recall sitting with my then-husband and friend's then-wife as we watched him wander around for 20 minutes looking for his glasses. He finally got frustrated and asked if we could help, to which I said "Do this," and tapped the top of my head. He'd had them there the whole time, and yes, we just let him look. My kid and I both have problems seeing what's right in front of us though.

[@bigsprucerabbitry6238]

I'm a woman and I have horrible refrigerator blindness. My poor husband is always saving me. My husband can always say exactly where things are in the house/fridge - even things I put away. He is very detail oriented, has great grammer and spelling, and is quite artistic. I can't draw or spell to save my life and am only good at math because the order symbols are written in doesn't matter much. I always took the refrigerator blindness down to being being detail oriented or not. I never even heard this was supposed to be a male thing. Also I've noticed guys are generally more detail oriented that girls if the fans of video games, games like magic, or other detail heavy media is looked at. If I would have guessed which sex was more likely to suffer from this, I would have guessed women.

[@eon6274]

This is interesting since my partner and I are both men who are into video games and such. I am the one who puts groceries away and am more detail oriented with where things are placed. My partner on the other hand will spend 10 minutes searching for something that was just in his pocket the whole time. I've always figured I picked up these things from my mom as I was raised in a family of majority women who didn't coddle me for being the only male. I did my own laundry and cleaned up after myself as a kid. Partner was the opposite situation, where up until college, his parents would come get his piles of dirty clothes out of his room and go wash and fold them for him. Curious about the differences in how you and your husband were raised if that's any reflection of how you two differ.

[@seanhauth1683]

Me and my girlfriend take turns with the blindness since we both have adhd and i have autism. i have a great memory but she will see me pace around and ask, "Sean, what are you doing?" and i reply with "i don't know." or "I forgot and i'm trying to remember." one of my favorite self deprecating jokes that i say about myself is "i'm surprised if i remember my own name anymore! I'm gonna be like the scarecrow and ask the wizard for a brain!" My autism gives me a great memory and attention to detail among other things but my adhd mixed with severe depression makes forget things easily. it gets amplified when i have trouble sleeping. I''ve finally been able to get help for my mental health, so here's hoping i get my brain back! :)

[@tylermech66]

Yeah, it is almost certainly just whoever actually uses the items most often. I'm male but I cook rather often, so I know where just about everything in the kitchen is (Except for the spices, but it's not my fault a dozen people are jostling those things around on the spice shelf all the time). Master of the kitchen is the master of the kitchen regardless of sex, it appears.

[@axle7211]

Living with my left-handed wife for many decades now has taught me much, the thing I'm searching for will most often be located at the very opposite of wherever I would normally put it. Similarly most decisions can be this way. I actually like my mind being constantly challenged, keeps me young!

[@honkytonkinson9787]

My dad was always the one who could find the stuff that I lost. As an adult I’m fortunate to have grown into this ability as I’m the one who has to find all of the lost items for my wife and children. Usually only takes a few seconds. Looking under things helps!

[@marktrain9498]

Am I the only one who's never heard of this stereotype?

[@rachelballard9443]

In my (non scientific) experience, it's about who knows the item is definitely there. If my male spouse put it away, he finds it more easily and vice versa. I've found adolescents can often have this issue, male and female alike. To me it's more about the age for adolescents than gender.

[@khajiithadwares2263]

Also found that its usually 70% the fault of the person asking for 2 reasons:-if the person asking is also the one that moved the object -if the person asking is disinterested in giving details (or bad at being specific) - (say object is behind the window - but there are 20 windows around the house, not even specifying outside or inside, so 20xtwice the places you have to look) Its on you if: -if you are the person disinterested in looking through, skim over and giving up

[@williamchamberlain2263]

That makes sense - attention is semi-active.

[@LRM12o8]

Can confirm this from my experience. Back when I lived with my parents, I would often scan the fridge for up to ten minutes and be unable to find the requested items, yet my parents would spot them immediately. But ever since I moved into my own flat, I never had that problem again and I have not somehow turned into a woman (to my knowledge), so I don't think it's a "man problem" or gender-related at all! I do, however, find myself buying groceries and filling the fridge quite often these days, which I almost never had to do while I was living with my parents, plus I recall my fridge blindness being especially bad whenever I was asked to retrieve food items from the fridge that I myself would never eat... 🤔

[@LRM12o8]

@@khajiithadwares2263 when I was a kid, my mom used to clean up after me if I left my stuff lying around outside of my room and didn't pick it up before her patience ran out. Guess who would a few days later unsuccessfully search for said stuff for hours and who would then come in and find it within seconds, asking me if I'm blind? But thinking about it for a second, it becomes so obvious why these things are, I'm really baffled how people came to the conclusion it must have to do with a person's gender!

[@igotnoname4557]

I have another experiment for you. When you catch one of those adolescents at the fridge with the door open while they play angry birds, send that kid a bill for the extra electricity usage. In my experiments, this particular problem is more accurately termed, 'lack of responsibility blindness'.

[@lm9327]

As a biological woman, I can tell you: when it comes to my stuff, if I organize it or put it away, I know exactly where it is and can draw you a map from memory. If I'm being directed by someone else to find their stuff... I almost always get "male blindness syndrome" and can't see the thing even if it's in front of my face and the person drew me a map.

[@jimmytimmy3680]

Biological woman. Lol

[@MorganHorse]

@@jimmytimmy3680 troll elsewhere

[@jimmytimmy3680]

@@MorganHorse I am fine here. Lol

[@veemie8148]

@@jimmytimmy3680 yea it's a bit weird to point that out xD

[@BoxSox82]

That's true for myself as well

[@brandonlawson2460]

How about staring into the fridge waiting for something you want to appear! 🤣

[@User.25432]

I do that all the time 😂😂😂😅

[@crystalratclffe3258]

I have antaphasia. I am also diagnosed with an inability of finding things called "lack of search and find". I also can't find squat in the fridge and am at the total mercy of my roommate (the cook) for finding things in the fridge at times. For items lost in the house, I pay my granddaughter a finder's fee.

[@maxsalmon4980]

As a dude, here's what I experience when this happens. I open the fridge, and am immediate confronted by a LOT of plastic bottles, boxes, wrapped things, packages, and all kinds of stuff. BEFORE I start hunting for specific visual cues about what I'm looking for in that mess, I call out, "Hey! Do you know where the (thing) is?" Because I know, from experience, in many/most cases this is a faster method of finding something than hunting for it. If no answer is forthcoming, then I do a search, and usually find it. But first I ask, because that's easier and I'm basically lazy. :)

[@Hanloss]

My partner does this and its infuriating. Not just for finding things either, seems to be incapable of thinking for 5 seconds before needing a grown up to figure it out for him. I hope your partner is a lot more patient than I am!

[@maxsalmon4980]

@@Hanloss Hehe, full disclosure, that's more when I was a kid living at home. These days not so much. But I also do the shopping and fridge stocking, so I know where stuff is to start with now. Then again, installing some kind of articulated plate for things to rest on in the fridge that will make them jostle so my amazing HunterVision (tm) can properly see them...might be worth trying hehe.

[@Hanloss]

@@maxsalmon4980 haha fair, I've started introducing baskets to the fridge, started with a cheese basket! Seems to have made some improvement haha

[@SoulDelSol]

@@Hanloss hey, you picked him

[@jennifersnavely7826]

I have known from the first few months of marriage that "where is..." Is just code for "will you get me...". I tried to tell him that just asking me to get stuff for him would piss me off way less than the stupid I can't findit game but here we are 17 years later still doing it. My job is to physically hand him random dumb objects and his job is to feel better about himself because he didn't ever really ask me to get it.

[@Acceleronics]

My excuse is that I'm always daydreaming and not paying attention to what is happening in my environment. I might be looking right at the thing I'm looking for, but it doesn't register because it's not part of my daydream.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

That's a terrible excuse

[@markzuckergecko621]

I'm stupid. That's my excuse.

[@cynthiasimpson931]

My dad was good for not seeing things right in front of his face. I remember an incident where he reached into the refrigerator and lifted the gallon jug of milk out with his left hand. Then, with his right hand, he moved things around then asked my mother, "Are we out of milk?" My mother said, "Look in your other hand." On the other hand, my husband looks to see if what he's searching for is in the same place it was the last time he found it, then he asks where it is. As for cats, a half-Ragdoll male cat I owned back in the 1980s learned how to answer the phone just from watching me. One morning when I was putting laundry away the bedside phone rang. Robesie the cat (short for Robespierre) batted the receiver off the cradle onto the bed, then meowed into the receiver. I picked it up, to find a friend laughing her head off. "Has Robesie started answering the phone?" She asked. Interestingly, the two female cats I owned at the same time never learned to do this. The cat I have currently is quite old and has feline cataracts. However, her hearing is still very good, and she never misses when I fill her dish with food no matter where in the house she is.

[@benchotka5768]

I’ve found that my colour acuity is much much higher than most men and is on par or just under women’s scores on a colour acuity test I took. I’ve also historically been very good at finding objects in gathering tasks like berry picking or gathering stones on a beach looking for a specific type of rock I tend to find more objects faster than peers. But I still have I can’t see the thing that is right in front of me blindness even if if I put the objects away I often tune out where I’ve put things so I’m not sure what that is about.

[@sailorbychoice1]

As a sailor I have navigated around the world 5 times. As an automotive driver I have crossed country (USA) east/west eight or ten times and have traveled each coast north to south half a dozen times, each coast (all without an accident or even a speeding ticket); yet for some reason my wife doesn't seem to think I can drive across town without her constantly telling me to speed up or slow down, take this right or that (in a town I grew up in but she did not~ and I used to work as a delivery person in this town, I know it well). My wife is also constitutionally incapable of putting tools back where they belong.

[@jonnyhifi]

A particularly good episode. Well done Simon and Danny ! Couldn’t help but laugh at the end with the cat stuff and the cut in video of the cat “head banging” to the bongos. An old video but a classic that never tires …

[@Ifinishedyoutube]

Asd has all my senses at 11 all the time. I'm currently in college. I recently finished intro psych so the few things that I know are basic. I am able to perceive slightly more information per second, but I can only hold the same amount as a neurotypical so my working memory is also slightly shorter because it's the same size but with more data per second. I was originally diagnosed with ADD in the '90s. ADHD, primarily inattentive currently. With a comorbidity of ASD. I am still figuring out what is what. I do know that the ADHD thing just affects attention and allows me to overcome ASD problems because I can overclock and limit the wattage of other processing components in my brain. This allows me to just focus on what I need to do. I haven't had medication in 14 years. However, I did just apply for Medicaid today and my school walked me through it. CLC college of lake county. Quite literally held my hand and helped me enter information online. I also use technology to force this. Mainly KZbin videos on whatever device I can. Including putting on low-fi girl on the TV while I walk around typing with my voice with earbuds connected to my phone, watching educational videos or. I do have an Android phone with Apple AirPods pro 2 (a gift from my mother as she understands my sensory issues) because of the adaptive transparency. These accommodations have greatly increased the amount of work that I can do and have facilitated my college career. And before it was wireless it was wired and significantly more miserable but still more desirable. Quality of life has just gone through the roof for sensory impacted individuals in the past 5 years. It was already ticking up and then everyone got stuck at home and everyone got to experience their genes activating for sensory issues because you're stuck at home so you need to patrol cuz something might attack however, patrolling isn't something we can do socially or something that is honestly favorable as it takes too much energy. So when we sit still we heighten our senses. If you have the right genes.

[@Dargonhuman]

For me, it all depends on how organized the other person is and how good their memory is when they send me to fetch something for them. My sister and her husband are meticulously organized so when I'm visiting and they ask me to go get something, it's exactly where they said it would be (unless one of their teenage sons "borrowed" it and didn't put it back but that's a whole other topic of conversation). My wife and mother in law, on the other hand, are basically the opposite. Their method of organization is "wherever it lands it lives" and they're terrible at describing how things look so I can spend an hour searching for, say, a hammer with a brown handle in the garage only for one of them to find it in the broom closet, and the handle being such a dark brown it's practically black. Or, more specifically in my wife's case, if she's looking for something in a drawer, her purse, a box or whatever, her method of searching is to just shove everything around until either the item magically floats to the top or she gives up and asks me to look. Then, assuming the item is even in the container, I usually end up having to remove nearly everything that isn't what she's looking for until I find it jammed into a corner at the very bottom/back of the container.

[@arceliarae5379]

My ex husband and I had a system when I started working. He would take a picture of the fridge, and I would circle where the object was and send it back. It was usually right in the front.

[@User.25432]

😂😂😂

[@awgates85]

Part of the problem with my situation is that my wife does the shopping and putting away of groceries, not for lack of trying on my part, but because she does not want my help. And even though she changes how she organizes and where things go every few months or so, the way I would do it is always the wrong way. I also have a preconceived notion of what container I'm expecting and when it is different, even when it is designed to show what is inside, I just miss it

[@rebeccadelbridge2998]

They call it refrigerator blindness. I call it weaponised incompetence.

[@itsmebatman]

The fridge blindness thing is definitely real. I can't even recount how often I looked in the fridge searching for something particular without seeing it, and the woman could always tell where it is. Maybe it is, because when I open the dridge there is just too much stuff in there and almost all of it I don't care about one tiny bit. If I was in charge of the fridge we'd only have a small fraction of the stuff we have now and our diet would probably be pretty unhealthy.

[@chriscam23041]

My cat loves listening to music. Especially metal. He still fetches and responds to commands. He was raised with dogs so I am sure they had a lot to do with it.

[@Private-GtngxNMBKvYzXyPq]

Perhaps a follow-up episode could investigate the phenomenon of purse blindness wherein keys, payment cards, eyeglasses, and many other objects seem to be temporarily impossible for women to find but that can be found rather quickly by a partner.

[@floydettenation]

Omg why is this a thing! I’ve had big purses and tiny purses and it’s always the same thing…whatever I’m looking for has disappeared into some void. I’ve started just wearing a wrist wallet where I can fit my ID/Cards, a chapstick, and a tiny fold up pair of reading glasses 🤣

[@cassandrabrowne-schneider4951]

I've never had that problem 😕 and even a detailed explanation to my ex just ended up with him handing me said purse 🤣

[@cryst2hu]

My husband would be looking forever for my purse as I don't own one, my cards are attached to my phone, rearly carry cash and don't bring a bunch a crap I really don't need.

[@Private-GtngxNMBKvYzXyPq]

@@cryst2hu Sounds very practical. Now I just need to figure out how to attach my favorite refrigerator items to my mobile phone 😆

[@amymccammon9078]

My mom has always called her purse "the black hole". Makes sense.

[@ChatookaMusic]

It's actually wild how well the whole frequency and heart rate thing would explain the breeds of dogs that are typically most obedient and easiest to train

[@rightwingsafetysquad9872]

I can remember exactly where 10,000 items are if I intentionally placed them there. If someone else put something away in a different place than where I would have put it, I will not find it.

[@Figgatella]

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked for something and have been staring right at it all along. I’m definitely not a man.😂

[@sandybarnes887]

😂

[@kg6801]

Agreed. Female and I live alone and should know where everything is because I'm the only one responsible for buying and using everything, but I'm very often unable to find something I know is there that turns out to be right in front of me. I feel like both the anecdotal people in this scenario at the same time, "Where's the x? I just had it yesterday/10 minutes ago and didn't take it anywhere, it has to be right here somewhere. Can't see it, where the hell did I put it? Look more slowly, it'll be right in front of me. Nope, I'm doing that, I know this routine and I definitely che- Ah, there it is, literally right in front of me...." Though when I lived with a male partner (and purchaser-curator of much of the household stuff) I knew where things were that he wasn't able to find right in front of him. Though he also had difficulty finding things in his own domain that I had no familiarity with, such as tools in his workshop, and when helping him with some car maintenance tasks would often have to find tools for him that weren't difficult to spot. It seems (in just my own observations of myself abd others) sometimes that something about seeking might actually block the ability to identify something in some instances, maybe like a learned "I'm not going to find it" pattern that instantly increases skipping into rushing to find something instead of staying calmer and more observant, as if the unconscious expectation of not finding it amps up the things that make finding it more difficult.

[@Halli50]

I'm a bloke and very familiar with this shortcoming of mine and have accepted it as a chronic deficiency. When I am e.g. in the spice section of a supermarket, looking for a certain spice I certainly spend a few minutes TRYING to locate it myself, but usually end up asking the nearest female for help. They are almost invariably familiar with this male deficiency and, with a smug (sometimes pitying) grin, point to what I am looking for, which is usually right in front of my nose. Bless their heart, where would we blokes be without the "weaker" sex?

[@alisonk5807]

I don't want to give away all the secrets of my sex, but the spices are organized alphabetically.

[@2SNesbit]

The story about dogs being sensitive to movement is true. We have a small (50 ft. by 50 ft.) backyard. About every other day there will be a rabbit (which instantly freezes) and the dog ignores. Once it thinks the dog is not looking in its direction, it runs away and the dog immediately notices it

[@k5sss]

My cats will freeze as soon as the rabbit does and then stare intently at it until it starts moving again. I thought they could still see it, though. So I tried distracting them for a second, and they clearly lost track of the frozen rabbit, and would get up and walk around trying to find it even though it’s in plain view (to me). Inevitably, they’ll wander too close to the rabbit and it bolts, and then the cats finally see it again and give chase.

[@Wyrmnax]

@@k5sss Don let your cat chase rabbits if you can. Not only its kinda unhealthy for the rabbit if it gets caught, Wild rabbits can carry a plethora of diseases that would be really bad to bring to your household.

[@k5sss]

@@Wyrmnax The rabbit fits under the fence, and she knows my cats don’t. There’s no chance they’ll actually catch her.

[@shandrakor4686]

Man, my dad and his keys. I was trained by my mom to help in finding things from a young age so even in my 40's I don't often lose things. Pro tip don't keep going back and looking "where they should be" again and again to see if they magically teleported back since the last five minutes. Look for the thing where it should not be.

[@GabLeGamer]

I used to own a small business in House painting and one thing i've learned is to ALWAYS let the women match colours. Men suck at it, even with my experience. One example; I was hired to refresh exterior paint on a house. It had 3 different shades of beige and brown and the customer simply wanted the exact colours again. When came time to buy the paint, I went to the house and met the husband there. We went around the building, matching the colours with my paper strips I had brought and agreed on all the different shades. I Buy the paint and go back to the house the next day to start the work and EVERY COLOUR WAS WAY OFF, even after letting it dry. The wife, visibly ticked off took my paint strips and identified the 3 colours without even putting the strips against the walls to match. Bought the new paint and she was DEAD ON. I never let any other man match colours for any other job after that. I even brought one of my female employees with me when I had to match colours before buying the paint for any jobs after that :P

[@meeshybee1654]

I'd also be interested in how much conditioning plays a part in this. How long do males look for The Thing before asking vs females, and single people vs people who share a home (single people having no one more likely than them to know to ask).

[@jennfandrich3365]

This! My husband can never think to do the things, but says just tell him to do said things. One, it’s exhausting managing a grown person. Two, what’s he going to do if I croak? He was able to do it as a single dude, he should be able to do it without me telling him as a married dude. He also has ADHD which really adds to it, but the dude won’t get any help for ADHD even an occupational therapist. I’m not saying he needs to medicate, but get some sort of help.

[@nijinoshita3301]

I think refrigerator blindness has to do with them not buying the stuff, because I do have an example here at home of a man who actually does grocery shopping and being able to absolutely find what he looks for in the refrigerator... (or them just being to lazy to actually look, it is after all faster if you immediately get told its in the door when you look for something, instead of actually having to look everywhere)

[@LRM12o8]

Absolutely. When I lived with my parents I also suffered fridge blindness and it was by far at it's worst whenever I was asked to retrieve stuff from the fridge that I myself would never eat. Now that I live alone and have to do all the grocery shopping and fridge stuffing myself, I never struggle to find anything in it.

[@matildas3177]

Interestingly enough, I (woman) live with my male partner and he does the majority of our grocery shopping and puts it away. He's still incapable of finding something he bought just the day before, even after searching the entire kitchen floor to ceiling, whilst I'll find it in minute or so. And the same goes for everything else too. He puts in a genuine effort, he just can't find shit for the life of him.

[@KirtFitzpatrick]

"diagnostic accusations such as 'Are you blind?' appeared to aggravate the condition, possibly through subliminal trauma to the fragile male psyche." Best laugh I've had all week.

[@col.sambers9033]

My best example for this search blindness is the building of Lego sets. I understand that now days they have numbered bags and you build sets in sections, but when i was young the bags weren't labeled so standard practice was to open everything and put it in a pile to build from. My brothers and I quickly came up with a rule that if you thought you were missing a needed piece you just continued to the next step and would almost always find it while searching for the next piece. So it always seemed to me that by splitting the focus between multiple items instead of hyper focusing on the one that the brain was performing better. This also seems to apply for me at least in other areas of my life too. I prefer to have some form of "white noise" on when performing any task such as music or something on the tv as it splits my focus to some degree and seems to allow me to perform better at the primary task then if i solely focus on said task.

[@Hippie4Hire]

I've typically done the majority of home maintenance in relationships; the cooking, cleaning, shopping, that sort of thing. I can confirm that whenever I have taken on those roles, my partner is basically inept when it comes to locating anything; whether it be food in the fridge, the remote for the tv, or their own clothes. Now I live with and take care of my mom, doing the same kinds of maintenance, and she has no idea where anything is or what food is available. I swear, it's wild to witness, even when the other person goes shopping with me, they have no idea where stuff is or even what we have available. Makes cooking surprising though cause they are always like "I didn't know we had that!", despite being present when it was purchased.

[@100dfrost]

I've got a couple of old plastic bowls by the front porch that when I clack them together all the cats come running to get fed, and no, it didn't take very long to "train" them this. Also after 37 years of marriage I know quite well that I get used to looking for something in the same place long enough my wife will invariably move it. Back to cats for a moment, it seems to me that they learn things a lot faster if they see other cats respond to a certain thing. Like they see what is working for another cat.

[@linuxgeex]

There's also psychological reasons for blindness. Many breast-fed, attachment-parented males experience feelings of love when they're fed, and will seek out a woman/partner who appears happy to feed them (restaurants having mostly female wait staff isn't an accident.) For them, passive-aggressive resistance toward learning to find things in the fridge is a tactic towards others to satisfy their love language needs. As their partner enables their "success", they become dependent, trained towards genuine psychological blindness. If their partner is resistant they can get pissy because they feel unloved. Some women enjoy teasing their fridge-blind partner because it provides additional opportunity for rewards in their role, ie "Thanks I'd be lost without you." Some use it as a top/bottom negotiation factor. Sweet dreams. It's much more rare, but not unheard of, for women to have fridge blindness in the same way.

[@molybdaen11]

Can conform, breasts are love, breasts are peace. Give everyone a perfect pair of breasts and we will have world peace.

[@jasonharrison3167]

In my life experience this doesn't happen exclusively to men.

[@dustin3700]

When I am looking for something I automatically think of the color first then scan search areas for the color, which is why it's nice to color code items or even wrap some colored tape on items that may get lost in a cluttered area.

[@noahyork4655]

Roll perception "Rolls perception, I got a 3." You overlook the taco bell sauce and trip on the dog.

[@kellyalvarado6533]

This trope is so not applicable to me. I am female and regularly have to ask my husband to find things in the closet for me. And the fridge.

[@real_Pinoy]

I grew up up with 5 sisters who were useless when Came to heavy Lifting we need a Video about why females are not strong as men

[@onwong]

As a psychologist in learning and education, this was hilarious!

[@gwillis01]

My cynical angry female opinion is that the male sex thinks of looking for and locating things as a low status task that should be done by a servant or a subordinate of some other type.

[@terribelbliss9646]

You seem to hit the nail on the head, I experience this problem at the supermarket often passing the desired item several times before finding a clerk to help me. I would like to say it’s a sign of old age but, I’ve had it all my life. I often say I can’t see the tree for the forest. Thanks Simon. 👍

[@maverickracer442]

The same phenomenon happens in the garage as well, but in that case, it's "where did the tool go I just had in my hand?" and the infamous disappearing 10MM socket. As far as anything in the house, I find when I'm single and living alone, I generally know where everything is, but when someone's living with me, that's when the problems finding things start. It's not that I'm organized because I'm far from it, but I do generally know where I put something. The exception is if I'm focused on something else and absent mindedly put something down somewhere (refer to the "where is the tool I just had in my hand?" phenomenon). Otherwise, I generally know where the object I'm looking for is. That being said, when someone else is living with you, sometimes their idea of "organization" and yours tends to differ. The problems and frustration arise when you go to get something where you know you last put it, and it's not there, then consult your significant other about where they moved it to and they can't remember 😂

[@Sandlin22]

Can't say I relate to this. Usually I'm the one who people call when they need help finding something.

[@Erkle64]

Are you also the person that keeps moving things around? As a single person, that lives alone, I don't seem to have this issue. Everything is just always where I put it.

[@usa1726]

As a male I can verify not being able to see certain things in the fridge 😂

[@patriciatuite1522]

I overheard a man in a supermarket talking to his wife on his phone and she was directing him to the cereal he had been looking for. 😂 I believe that cell phones were invented so men can do the shopping and do it right.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

Before we lived together, my boyfriend would video chat with me on his phone while at the store so I could help him find what he was looking for.

[@hyperbunnygirl101]

I've had to do this with my ex 💀

[@EnglishMathTutor]

I laughed so hard at this episode. So hilariously worded. Excellent work here, Mr. Whistler!

[@debogeneral]

I’m a kitchen fitter and have two of everything in my tool box because I loose things so often. The very moment I give up my search (usually me walking in circles screaming) and pick up my spare tool the original always reappears. Glad I’m not the only person with this affliction.

[@globalautobahn1132]

So is this sexist? 🤷🏻‍♂️ Just saying that if you flipped the title around, guaranteed this video would get flagged, unfortunately for free speech.

[@willdornan9929]

Watch it and see

[@miltonbates6425]

That's only when you put wnmn in a negative light....so no. Men are fair game.

[@georgejones3526]

Well he did make reference to the “fragile male psyche”.

[@georgejones3526]

The thing about being a bachelor is shit tends to stay where you put it, thus it’s easier to find again. One of the things I noticed when I was married: nothing, absolutely nothing, was exclusively mine.

[@Erin-Thor]

Is it though? Men have been proven stronger. Women have been proven biologically superior with higher pain tolerance, longer lifespans, lower chance of cancer and heart attacks, etc. Women were thought to be less intelligent as they scored lower in classroom tests and grades, but a study that attempted to flip their inherent quietness and less aggressive nature by placing them in the front of classrooms completely reversed those statistics in one year.

[@bryanewing5058]

I think it has more to do with woman already knowing where stuff is cause they put it there. For instance, you ever see a woman try to find the car dipstick? How about asking a typical woman to change a riding lawn mower deck belt? Guys are just typically more familiar with that stuff so we find those things and troubleshoot them faster because of our stereotypical roles. I think all people just get annoyed when our significant other can’t do something that seems simple to us. And woman tend to get away with more complaining while men stereotypically have to be tough and hold it in. Thus we hear about the men not being able to find the butter more the “my stinking wife can’t even check the oil in the car” 🙄. Cause we don’t want to hear how we are wrong again. 😂

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

I find and remember the location of stuff that's not even mine and I didn't put there. All I need to do is see it once.

[@engine_erin]

I recall a study where they put both men and women into a waiting room and when they left, the researchers moved something within the room (i.e. a plant, lamp or painting etc.). When the subjects were brought back into the room, the women noticed the room had been changed despite not being told to expect a change in the room. The men were generally not able to answer when asked what had been moved. It's important to note that all subjects were not told beforehand to expect something within the room to change, and they were told they were participating in a study about something else entirely. I always found that study fascinating. It suggests to me that it's potentially more important for women to be aware of their surroundings, and it certainly explains why I always know where my partner puts his keys, phone and wallet around the apartment.

[@CraigTinson2015]

If I see something "moving" in my fridge? I'm telling you now I'd spot it immediately!! and I'd freak out for a moment because I know things that are in my fridge "shouldn't be moving"!!

[@venom_lowrider]

As a man I take offense to the preposterous notion that I can't see what is right in front of me! I'd have objected sooner but it took me an hour to find the "comment" button 😡

[@brendant2180]

TIL "the universe rejects simplicity" I want that on a t-shirt lol

[@IRUKANJI]

As a man with perfect color acuity vision, I am able to understand how men and women have so many different disagreements about the nature of the world itself. Our senses are just different. I have been on the receiving end of men bugging me for adjusting monitors telling me "it looks just fine." If they all understood this there would be a lot more harmony. A simple "I can't hear it but I trust you do," or "I can't see the difference but I trust you can" would go a long way toward ending a lot of pointless arguments.

[@lordpsi99]

Douglas Adams wrote about things that are invisible because they are Someone Else's Problem. An alien spaceship can land in the middle of a cricket field but no one cares in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books because of this in-universe phenomenon. At least, there is a cloaking technology that seems to change things about the way the ship looks so that it is perceived by the subconscious as Someone Else's Problem and becomes invisible or quickly dismissed and forgotten about.

[@loveless131]

As someone who has on many different occasions lived alone and with others, I can say that while living alone I can say where 99% of items that I have interacted with within the last 12 months are. As well, when living with someone else, especially family, I find that I can have item blindness randomly. For me personally, it likely all comes down to someone else either moving stuff, even if slightly, or them being the one who purchased and placed the item. Anything within my personal "no one touches my stuff" space is always easily found.

[@misterblack2459]

"subliminal trauma to the fragile male psyche." Why is it when a woman says something openly hateful to a man it's "cheeky," but if a man said the same towards a woman: he be called a sexist and bigot, fired from his job, demeaned by his community, and harassed if not out right threatened? Why doesn't Simon call this out? Why is it okay if a woman demeans a man but not the other way around?

[@davesworld1972]

Familiarity can also affect finding things. I can find things for a friend in his house but I can't seemed to find them in my own house. I think we sometimes can focus on something to a level where our brains just is unable to see what is right in front of our faces. I find it funny how every time I stop looking for it I see it straight away.

[@grumpyoldsodinacellar4065]

I'm retired and do woodwork for a hobby, if my bench is clear (very rarely) I put down a tool, within arms reach I can usually find it. Add a little clutter to the bench, and anything put down can be lost for several minutes. Very frustrating.

[@AutisticAthena]

I look at it like this: I ask my mate to carry heavy objects for me not because I can't, but because it's easier for him than it is for me. I remember things for him (not just locations of objects, but dates, names, ect) because it's easier for me. A certain amount of exchange of assistance is kind of necessary for bonding socially. Think about how it would feel if you constantly offered to help someone and they turned you down. You may feel rejected, useless, unwanted. Cooperative tasks and assistance are important aspects of social bonding. I can absolutely say with complete confidence that anyone reading this has experienced the dynamic of one person watching another struggle with something, that person deciding to help, and when the task is complete both people seem to be happier, even if it was an objectively unpleasant task. I feel like fridge blindness is a touch stone for reminding the person keeping the home that they're needed. it's only annoying when the request for assistance seems frivolous. I'm not going to call my boyfriend into the room to get something out of a cupboard that's face height from me, but I will call him in if I would have to climb. In the same vein, I would expect him to thoroughly look for an object before asking me to physically assist him, but I'm more than happy to assist him with locating what he needs when he's hungry. Jeez, half the time he has no clue what's in the cupboards. I do about 90% of the grocery shopping and I'm always trying new things.

[@drbettyschueler3235]

My husband and I used to show our Norwegian Forest Cats. They would usually get restless, in the car, so I tried different types of music to see if there was a type that would calm them down. It turned out that they loved listening to Barbra Streisand. As soon as I'd start playing her music they would calm down and go to sleep.