Why Does Awakening Feel "Crazy" and What Do I Do?

[@feltedsoap1297]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Lighter and clearer after taking your messages in 😊

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Love to hear it, that's why these exist ❤

[@MK7of7of7of7]

Saw my message from a month ago. Doesn't matter now. Resting in awareness. Accepting this present moment as being "fine" no matter what is happening. Oneness is awareness. Resting in awareness is resting in oneness and can only be experienced now. I am the love my "little me" was looking for. I am awareness seeking awareness. So tricky. Appreciative.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@MK7of7of7of7 yes 🙌 you are That!

[@_creighton]

Awakening was disorienting, uncomfortable. It has never felt crazy. Crazy was the stupor/trance I occupied prior to it.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

It's fortunate there was no conditioning in the mind which led to overwhelming fear and self doubt in your case. For many, having been traumatized and gaslighted into questioning reality even before awakening, such things may come up. Awakening itself doesn't bring it about, it's the existing conditioning of some minds.

[@anofferingofsorts]

It literally felt like I had been in a trance.

[@questprotector]

a dark night of the soul ain't no fun.

[@kenjones102]

As one rests as awareness, equanimity becomes the norm.

[@thomasdowd2010]

Thank you 🙏

[@aaronhatefi7897]

THANK YOU This was so helpful to me

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@aaronhatefi7897 🙏

[@corinneharris5034]

Wow. Yess. I resonate with this on such a deep level. Your video popped up on my feed at the perfect time. I really appreciate your authentic, genuine expression of your own experience.. it really touched me. I've been on a spiritual path for a while.. and although I've had many realizations, it took me fully opening to the feeling of shame to fully realize truth. I realize that I used spiritual teachings and practices to try to rid myself of that shame, rather than investigating it with compassion. This perpetuated the feeling that I need to 'do' something in order to be worthy of realization - like meditating everyday, refraining from addictive habits, etc... but it was all based on the notion that I am unworthy and I need to do something to be worthy. This was never ending and absolutely exhausting. But I knew no other way. It was so deeply engrained. Only by fully opening to those deep feelings of shame, unworthiness, and self-hatred did I see through the illusion that perpetuated it- the belief that I am this vulnerable person, an image created in my mind that is dependent on the approval of myself and others. Seeing this, being aware of this feels so liberating. All of that effort trying to improve myself or hide myself is freed up.. and I can just be. Which is all I ever truly wanted.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

In terms of experience, I could’ve written this. Going through all the Brené Brown books and still the thought, that’s not me, I don’t have shame to deal with. A second spiritual ego was created to feel better about the constructed self. And yet deep and true realizations were being had along the way. Thanks for sharing, and I’m glad you realized what it was ❤️

[@youarewhatyourelookingfor4496]

Wow, boy does that resonate. I too could have written that. I not making any claim of being awakened or enlightened, but I know about shame and unworthiness. Guilt and fear too, and lots of it. Catholic school and various childhood traumas, as well as plenty of adult crap too. I’m grad you found a way. I’ve not yet and I’ve done it all. Therapy, medications, 10 years sober off booze and hard drugs but still using certain medications and supplements to cover the mess. Meditation everyday at 4am for 10 years. Various things I do to make myself worthy of not only others but of “god.” I’m terrified of hell and the eternal torture by devils and demons promised to us as kids in catholic school. Absolute child abuse the Abrahamic religions are. Congrats on enjoying life and being. That must be wonderful. ❤️

[@youarewhatyourelookingfor4496]

@@heatherralstonnonduality I know about the 2nd spiritual ego to feel better about the first constructed self too. I’ve seen that movie too. lol It’s dropped , I think, after seeing it. Spiritual greed was there with it as I was busy collecting spiritual experiences in meditations as ornaments for the spiritual ego. Cunning stuff.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@youarewhatyourelookingfor4496 yes, collecting qualifications is addictive 😄 I’m glad you figured that out too

[@anofferingofsorts]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It seems so incredibly rare to find someone who has freed themselves from the constructs that we have imprisoned ourselves with.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@anofferingofsorts 🙏

[@MattyLiam333]

I can see obviously, that she is the same one as my other teachers. I can always tell when it comes from direct experience. She has had that.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Yes. But you are that one too.

[@FredLeahy]

Very wise words, Heather! You’re a fountain of Advaita/Buddhist insight. We’re not a player, writer or director in our movie. The movie just takes care of itself…perhaps we’re just the light coming from “The Projector”🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

We are the screen and the watcher :) Director is not ultimately correct, that was meant more as a sitting back and watching it happen rather than play acting in it. And thank you 🙏🙏❤️

[@mementomori5374]

@@heatherralstonnondualitythats duality screen and watcher its an illusion mind made dream there is no you in this

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@mementomori5374 wonderful

[@davemorgan9511]

You’re right, we are the light!

[@mementomori5374]

@@davemorgan9511 when you are in deep sleep without dreams what are you ?

[@makidaadara6526]

You go sister!

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

💪❤️

[@facet44]

Perfectly stated truths. This is difficult stuff, in the Mind. Thank you, nice to meet ya!

[@nealchambers2306]

Thank you so much for this….. for a while I thought I was going mad lol. The more aware I became the louder the voices became…..maybe not louder, but I was so much more aware of them which made them appear louder to me.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@nealchambers2306 you were by no means alone in that 🙏

[@cherevas1]

Very difficult topics to put into words and equally has hard to comprehend. Great works!

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Thank you :)

[@paullothyan8602]

This idea should seem perfectly natural , taking the path back to our true nature .

[@kenjones102]

I believe it was a psychologist named Sidney Cohen in the 70s who called it "unsanity", in reference to LSD.

[@ravanti5780]

Thank you, very clear

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

You are welcome

[@colinjohnrudd]

Accept!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one word saves all the efforts of the mind Heather xx

[@life13525]

so well said...so true, really thought I might get mad over the last year...thanks for speaking about it...

[@youarewhatyourelookingfor4496]

I felt like I’ve been on the verge of a nervous breakdown for the last five years. I can’t stand it anymore. I just want it all to end. I feel so absolutely crazy. I feel like I’m living in a completely different world than everyone else, and I am, and it’s awful.

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Hi there - five years is a long time to feel that way. I don’t know much of anything about your situation and I trust you will get outside help if you need it. If that is not your situation, just know you are not alone, this world is meant to feel strange and “not like home,” and it is within yourself that you can take refuge, find home. There may be some beliefs that if let go of would allow for greater ease and more resonance with this. 🙏

[@youarewhatyourelookingfor4496]

@@heatherralstonnonduality thanks. Long story. Great video though

[@youarewhatyourelookingfor4496]

@@RichyRich4 I don’t doubt it bro. I’m sorry. It’s an awful place to be. Clearly I understand. 🤮🥴 I wish everyone the best of luck. Faith in the goodness of the universe I guess. I mean, there is incredible, heartwarming goodness here too. The world itself, nature, love, compassion, kindness and kind acts, animals, the unconditional love of dogs, mountains, oceans, flowers etc etc. is amazingly beautiful no? F**k, I don’t know. Attention is our super power right? Whatever we feed attention grows. The conditioning of the mind is one of feeding fear and negativity, which certainly grow when I feed them. Plus, if you listen to peoples conversations they are so often about everything that’s “wrong” and terrible in the world so it’s easy to get sucked in. Idk brother. I hope and pray we all wake up. I believe that’s the end result for everyone in the end anyway but what do I know. Blessings to you and yours 🩵🙏

[@theconsciousnesscorner7105]

SPOT ON SIS. GODSPEED 💛 ✨️

[@MrBrady95]

I remember watching a video with Eckhart Tolle speaking to a small group at Google several years ago. He had many wonderful lessons and in my opinion, his explanations were extremely obvious and profound. It gave me hope! What was "crazy" to me at the time was the Google executive's response; he didn't seem to understand any of what Eckhart was saying-at all! (I can't remember who, but it was a high ranking person at Google, possibly one of the founders).

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Sometimes succeeding in the game is a disadvantage for understanding the truth. There’s a quote of Upton Sinclair, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.”

[@C.RAWLA-qf1gv]

So very clear you covered all of it effortlessly beautiful I hope you interview with Angelo in the future🙏

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Thank you - currently not aware of them but may soon be. 🙏

[@lynlavalight]

​@heatherralstonnonduality They are referring to Angelo Dillulo. His channel and website are named Simply Always Awake. One of the most clear and integrated teachers available right now.

[@champ8899]

The product of A COURSE IN MIRACLES shares the idea of this: Nothing real can be threatened,nothing unreal exists.Here in lies the Peace Of God.And what you are sharing reminds me of this truth as well. I thank you for your kindness and wisdom! NICE

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Oh yes - I share that line in my book, it is powerful. Thank you for sharing that as well 🙏

[@smth7729]

Yes! Those lines are originally from Bhagwat Geeta (Krishna's words)! Actually, that idea being the central piece of Vedanta/Hinduism is there in all ancient Hindu scriptures.

[@charmainehenry61]

❤

[@hannahlily11]

Thank you, perfect timing

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

You are welcome :)

[@Deep_Woodz_prophecy]

Yessss 🎉 It’s like an illusion that it’s an illusion or not an illusion.

[@mementomori5374]

Its no- thing that simple Mind like to make it complicated but mind is also no - thing appearing as ‘ mind ‘

[@chriscote3701]

Thank you, very helpful

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

I’m glad to hear it, you’re welcome 🙏

[@lgroves336]

God is having a great experience. That is ALL that is going on.... THE END

[@hermansohier7643]

Acceptance has always been the case , the imaginairy self is the non-acceptance .

[@GodHelpMe369]

my heart hurts I ache for my best friends I lost them both and the pain and trauma of it destroys me I dream about them every night have been for over a year one betrayed me the other abandoned me

[@jixie_93]

I'm sorry hon...that's so rough...🫂

[@richardbond4496]

most people that think they have awakened are still fast asleep and are just crazy. one is welcome. If one feels tiggered then one need only look in the mirror and ask why!

[@markpidgeon7671]

Hi Heather, do you live in Vermont?

[@linggg1541]

I totally get all that is being said and agree with it..but I'm on the back end of a very challenging sad time going through divorce after 33 yrs marriage, left for another person and alone emptying my family home I've lived in for 30 yrs..illusion or not..my mind is showing great resistance to the impending changes and grief still wants to come up and out..what is the healthiest way to allow this please?

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

I’m with you. My second failed marriage and closure of my business during Covid along with the breakup of several family connections, all of these things happening simultaneously, were the greatest catalysts for awakening, and it took exactly that, and yet of course it did not seem that way and the mind fixated on survival, manifesting all sorts of warning lights in the physical body layer. The best way to deal with this is to allow it to be there, to find the tenderness just behind the protectiveness, the peace just behind the misery. And if/when that seems it can’t be achieved within a given moment, completely accept that instead of the circumstances. It’s a back door to answer the mind’s back door ✨ create just a little space between who you are and all that is going on. Give yourself some space and time, and you just may find that this was your call to awakening as well. I’m so sorry for what you are going through now - and yet, we may not in the end be sorry that any of it happened. Also… feel all the grief, but watch for stories. You don’t need the stories to grieve.

[@linggg1541]

@@heatherralstonnonduality Of course your reply is totally in resonance to my deeper intuitive knowing of what I actually believe is going on here, and I am so blessed your reply appeared to second that. I repeated "asked" and begged "God Source" to "awaken" me this lifetime so I may be of greater assistance to humanity at this time..the joke being I was already totally giving everything of myself and unable (fearful/undeserving of) stepping into my own light..so never fully knew or loved the self. This has been THE BIGGEST wake up call to putting that spot light excruciatingly on me! No more can I hide, deny and deflect who I am or what I need to be truly seen by others. And boy did it highlight the deeply misaligned conditioned beliefs I'd be running about myself in the background of my life. It's been a very shocking, painful and sometimes brutal road to walk upon but somehow..somewhere I sort of feel I designed the best way for myself to really " get the memo" and have no doubts I will be able to hold more of myself ( light & love energy) at the end of this...that said, the human lows can be overwhelming if I don't catch those conditioned stories in time! Bless you for your sharing 🙏

[@Drrizzt2k12]

​@@heatherralstonnondualityI feel you.

[@davidgibson7740]

We souls incarnate and forget who we are. We identify with the simulation. At some point an ever reincarnating soul forms a desire to question the simulation and eventually experiences nonduality. Do I have that mostly correct? What happens when all the pieces of nonduality achieve awareness? A Big Un-Bang? Nonduality collapses into a fully united whole and a new Big Bang?

[@lynlavalight]

You are talking about concepts. Investigate who YOU are and ignore spiritual concepts. You will only have to see through them later on. No need to add more layers of thought to identify with. That only further binds you to a false identity.

[@aprilannroy]

HELP! I am finding aspects of this very challenging. I realize that I am the ONE. And that there is no separate anything. And that this is all in the mind…but those thoughts are what is causing me GREAT suffering!,, 😢. I feel utterly alone if it is just me. And I feel life is completely pointless and meaningless if there is no reason to seek/find…no one to “help” anyone…no point to growth or enlightenment. Everything loses its value when I have this realization. Why do anything if there is no reason…

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

I understand. I experienced that too. Sometimes the mind still likes to pull that one out of the cobwebs but it doesn’t do anything. Why? Because it was sat with, the light of consciousness piercing through the false in it. Is there meditation in addition to watching the thinking? The mind is imagining aloneness from an egoic perspective. Ego needs other people to bounce its idea of itself off of. When the human is still identified with, the infinite is seen (really not seen) through a filter of values that have been internalized. It’s actually gorgeous - from nothing, a universe of possibility to be experienced, none of it hurting who I really am. It’s beautiful. Unity consciousness, which is experienced after and perhaps while this new paradigm is being stabilized and integrated, is the realizing, the making real, of wholeness. The idea of Buddhist emptiness is so depressing when we don’t understand what it is to be empty. It is peace, expanse, freedom. There may simply be a grieving for what was, what seemed to be, what the mind thought it could count on. It is well 🙏

[@aprilannroy]

@@heatherralstonnonduality- I appreciate your response. This agony in my mind has been coming up more frequently in the last few years and I get so lost in it that I actually feel physically ill and like all I can do is lay on the floor and weep or stare at nothing. I have just tonight found your videos in a desperate attempt to ease my mind of this intense energy. I wonder...have you experienced feeling like your service to others, maybe even creating videos, becomes rather "pointless" in this process of awakening? I have struggled with feeling like all the meditations I lead, all the coaching I provide is somehow not worth the energy anymore. Because if the people I serve are just other aspects if me, why bother. All of this is so difficult to explain...the feeling of emptiness and aloneness...especially when I don't know anyone in real life that is as far down the path as I am...I keep trying to find someone I can relate to! You are the first person in years to respond to me on a video. Part of me is sooo very exhausted from seeking...part of me knows it is coming to and end...part of me is afraid of that...part of me wonders what my life will look like when I do give up seeking...part of me is terrified that I won't want to do the things I do now...

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@aprilannroy You are a breath away from laughing at all of this. You’ll find out that you never needed to “seek” or try, that the rest of this lifetime will be effortless. The journey that has seemed all work and no play, all concepts and no felt sense, must make way to the felt understanding, resonance. There is too much here for me to do it justice in a comment, but I made a couple videos on loneliness. I did this alone, and I mean ALONE. Sometimes it happens like that. Seems some feedback on that mind stuff would get you really far. There are many ways you can make this more manageable. I’ll be posting a video on kundalini awakening from my perspective as well. To answer that part of your question, I like making videos so I make them, when I don’t want to I don’t. Notice there are gaps between these :)

[@aprilannroy]

@@heatherralstonnonduality - Thank you. Isn't the desire to seek who we really are part of what helps our soul evolve?

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

@@aprilannroy “soul evolving” is still on the level of duality - who we really are does not evolve, doesn’t need to. And, it is realizing that that allows the “soul” to realize what it really is, which is paradoxical. Said another way, seeking is needed until we realize it isn’t. *What you are is right here and now staring you in the face, it is the spacious expansion beneath and around the contraction that is absorbing attention.*

[@MK7of7of7of7]

Waking up has been in stages, gradually letting go of bits and pieces to large chunks! Feels like hell at times and feels like two sources of "resistance" This form and the fellow forms. Funny. Never have watched the Matrix, just can't get myself to do it. It is like ..where is the challenge in that? I would not read "the secret" either while seeking mode. What is that? I just don't want to know? Yes I do! Or I wouldn't be here. Weird.

[@bitkurd]

To awaken is to initiate your own death. Eventually you will go back to the dream because being awake is not the purpose but rather it’s being a sleep so you can dream. Awakening is dying, it will always get crazier until you go back to sleep

[@jansefran1752]

Sanjsko.

[@mementomori5374]

Its very simple there is only no - thing what you call you is no - thing appearing as you all there is is no - thing it is already so its happening you can’t stop it the person doesn’t exist thats a dream illusion that illusion is also no - thing appearing as that illusion

[@heatherralstonnonduality]

Yes 👍

[@jamescareyyatesIII]

You might actually be crazy.

[@henrikneesgaard1764]

❤