Why Does The Narcissist Seem So Odd?

[@mandywilloughby9991]

Oh my , every word , you nailed it !! I even on several occasions use the exact words “it’s like an alien abducted you “ . He was an absolute stranger. Also from the moment I met him I constantly thought why is he so odd !? I had concluded that it was past bad experiences in relationships and heartbreak that made him this way . Now I know why . Only a narcissist can have a complete and total shift in personality in just one day . I also referred to him as Jekyll and Hyde becuz it was just so damn mind boggling! Thank you for all of the knowledge and strength you have given me through your videos HG !

[@ta3970]

They seem odd because they ARE.... HELLO

[@makeitcount2985]

No I did not blame myself I blamed him and explained that the fallout from his disgusting behavior is to be expected. I don't own any of the fallout from his bad behavior. He started acting strangely, so I mirrored him. He ignored me so I ignored the fact that he was ignoring me and never took him to task about it. The last time I saw him he pretty much ignored me and I responded by walking out after an hour and then not messaging him until he messaged me. When I did message him he apologized for ignoring me, I knew that he never meant it, so I told him that I was aware that everything he had done had been on purpose and then a week later I explained to him that he best not mistake my tolerance for weakness. This man is unaware that a pissed off empath is like the fires of hell, they will incinerate you and leave you in a ball on the floor. Don't underestimate empaths, they only take a small amount of crap before they unleash their wrath on those that try to abuse them!

[@yagirltoreyleigh1165]

I believe the "calm before the storm" is the most eerie of all. Especially after this fool told me he would lay dead and wait to get me...UGH...wish I never met him!!!

[@nikkic83]

The missing piece to the narcissist puzzle. Thank you!

[@Jessicaunarex]

This is exactly how the Mid Ranger was before his fury and rage.

[@lillianwasserman1837]

I got this. He answered his phone with the exaggerated " yesss"? . I say THAT to my dog when he sits in front of his treat cabinet. No anger, no interest in us just coasting through the conversation like I didn't mean a thing to him. What a piece of shit.

[@jessrnny]

Stranger mode. Creepy....

[@vmm5163]

I thought my narc ex was exhibiting signs of dementia when he got to acting like this. I'd only just met him really, so he began this at 3 weeks. He must have hated my guts by then, but it carried on for 7 months total. And then I had some sort of breakdown. My house was full of new clothes piled on every surface that he'd pushed me into buying because I was "dressing wrong." By the time he said he wanted me to dress like his ex wife I was ready to either do serious damage to him or end up under psychiatric care. He left me when I entered mental health services treatment.

[@fuzzywitch]

Watch All of HGs videos, read his books, gather knowledge, strength, and understanding and as HG would say GOSO, get out, stay out, it's not overstating it to say HG sharing his knowledge saved me in every way its possible to be saved it's painful for a time but much better than pain for a lifetime

[@theblackericacane8714]

HG: I’ve dealt w/each & every one of those situations from a few people family or intimate partners/friends, & just when they all of them thought they had everything in the bag 💼 is when I turned the tables and they didn’t even see it coming or could ever imagine that I could ever. Didn’t have to raise one ☝️ finger.

[@cherel67peterson3]

That's when I finally just cut the madness off! I stopped doubting myself. I cut him off!!! Blocked with no contact.

[@hoth1009]

I remember the phase of neither golden or dark so well...I literally wondered what the hell was happening. Thank you for explaining!!

[@yagirltoreyleigh1165]

I'm there now, guess it means he's plotting to "take no out". Especially since he already told me he would lay dead and wait to get me and has smeared the heck out of my name and image...UGH

[@mariatrakadas6069]

I respect you. I listen all you say. Mine is afraid of me. He is sloppy. I should have a conversation with you. Consultation. My circle is out of his league. That really bugs him. He has his dumbos that think he is great. I am a professional. He is losing ground and becoming insane.

[@fitmamaroberta]

Same here. He was low functioning. His stories are more outrageous and absurd. I go no contact. He returns thru emoji on FB. I have no time to entertain made up stories. My circle of friends and family seen thru him. He tries to make outlandish stories to be part of my life. It is actually pathetic. Happy to be away from it. Best wishes without toxics!

[@sumbals]

Omg!! You’re like a manual of narciology 😛 so impressed by the deep knowledge and accurate explanation of their settings.. hard to resist to say luv u for that☺️🤭

[@Andrea-sl8wd]

sumbals Stop being weak.

[@ekonamare7219]

Basically the narcissist is grey rocking, funny as they HATE IT if you do that it brings out the fury 😂

[@crystalversnel6653]

Last week my narc's personality was totally unrecognizable for about 3 days.. He was someone else he even spoke differently. But he was going from nasty to indifferent towards me.? At the end of the third day. I just lost my composure. I screamed and cried. I wonder if it ended as abruptly as it started because he got the reaction he wanted from me?

[@sharriebianchi8316]

Crystal Versnel generally when they start sounding differently it’s because they are starting to mirror new sources of supply whether intimate in nature or not.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

@@sharriebianchi8316 exactly! Like a chameleon. It's creepy, not only speech, cloth or behaviour changes, physical too!!

[@annamariapiotrowicz511]

speaking of narc just watch his actions like you are watching a boring acting in a movie so it don't effect you you will know what not to say to narc to make him more crazy and can think stright when narc is blame siffting/blame you for something you never did to narc and the things narc did behind your back but does not care about others and take respbilty for his own actions by blame it on someone and never do any thing bad oor good that the narc wants you to do/for them just make excase that something come up and you not find time to do it

[@OhhKikka]

I’ve had hoovers in the stranger mode. I sensed the storm. I am duly warned and aware of the cat and mouse game. Kitten and rat in this case.

[@Andrea-sl8wd]

OhhKikka Some are not smart enough to get away and worse go back for more or to others...you see them all over these posts. Pathetic!

[@sarahjohnson8514]

OhhKikka Lol. I had one. I completely ignored him as well and went on with my life.

[@trivai]

can we fully accept that they turned evil?

[@yagirltoreyleigh1165]

Turned??! Hell, they've BEEN evil...we just didn't know it!

[@fitmamaroberta]

Ageee.

[@MAM-rv3jt]

Yes he's kept me in the stranger setting it seems n it's killing me...

[@annekerotterdam7499]

It's killing, been there! However...educating yourself about NPD will save your life. It's a serious disorder (!). No contact is the only option, no matter who it is.

[@fuzzydogpa7348]

I think I was a non-intimate secondary source or a terc source for years. We communicated almost daily via, e-mail, texts w/ occasional phone calls or meet ups, to hang out. He helped me out financially with my car, paid for a birding trip to Mexico. But then I got mad at him over his lack of caring, when a friend of mine died and I let him have a piece of my mind and went no contact for nearly a year. There have been some recent e-mails though, and I've told him he's a narcissist, etc. I do send him self-help / religious videos / that I'm praying for his soul, lol. I've caused a lot of narcissist injuries and I think he's afraid of me. I care about his well-being but I'm not in love with him or wanting a romantic relationship. I liked exchanging info and thinking with him and birding. Most of the time, he ignores messages that I send, but sometimes he bombs me with messages, and in the past, I thought he wanted to be friends again, but now I think he must be low on fuel to come to me... for I have not held back my opinion of him which is both bad and not so bad, though I told him I think he's the king of head fuckery and projection. He tends to respond more when I say something mean, instead of nice. Like when he ignored my e-mails for many days, and didn't send any response, I messaged and said, "I assume you are ok but just being a douch again." He responded, "You douch, not me". It's just the infantile exchanges and with him, everyone else is the problem. I told him once that with him being such a math guy, he should look at the equation of all his failed relationshits and friendshits and realize that he's the common denominator. I don't know why he still communicates rather politely with me, even though he's been a shit at times. I'm one of those super empaths, who fights back and can really dim my attachment to people and amp up the inner narc. But I'm pretty sure that my mom is a low level narc but she also seems to be a love addict. Never a lasting relationship but she's throw the kids under the bus on more than one occasion, in order to be with some jerk guy and she lives in some fantasy world and just doesn't have an accurate account of the past. Her memories are that she was a great mom, who sacrificed for her kids but I always felt like she loved the dogs and her boyfriends more and could never really hear what I was saying, unless it fit with what she wanted to believe. Can a narc be a love addict and think themselves in love at times and then if they get discarded, blame everyone else in their lives for it?

[@vikkipollard2638]

I went through the stranger setting for 16 years. Why? It is poison.

[@stephaniebuker1812]

In the beginning he mirrored me. At the end I mirrored him. I was a lifeless automaton. When you get to that point..The discard is nigh. You're bled out..

[@runwiththewind3281]

HG, thank you for helping me understand.

[@rhondawalker2020]

You nailed it 100%!

[@tpt8552]

Wow, this is so eye opening. I thought he was just depressed, but this describes what I am going though perfectly. My devaluation was very short, I figured him out and left quickly. He did successfully hover me back in, I had another golden period that was short lived and ever since I have been experience this robot for months and months. This makes so much sense. What doesn’t make sense, because he knows I will leave (at least temporarily until I gain the courage to go no contact), is he knows that the devaluation and the insults and the control....etc won’t work on me because I’ll just leave again. Is this really what he is trying to do, set me back up for devaluation or is possible that he really is depressed? Seems to me that eventually he has to become worn out with this, no? This is probably my emotional thinking talking. I am curious if this is what he is doing though.

[@tpt8552]

*hoover

[@amyd1549]

Total truth.

[@jessicasmith6938]

Mine acted in that stranger setting just before the discard ! Do you have a follow up on what this behaviour is about ? What are you plotting at this stage in devaluation ?

[@1TrumpFan]

His favorite state.

[@sarahjohnson8514]

Ok, so what are we to expect from the different cadres when they show up at a place where you go and you ignore them completely and they return the favour? By the way, I was the NISS being groomed for a promotion when I figured it out and called him out fully on it all and went NC.

[@Andrea-sl8wd]

Because they are.

[@MAM-rv3jt]

I don't know what to do I got ensnared by a malignant greater narc, n I feel like a fly trapped, can't leave cz of my emotions n suffocating cz he's not responding to my texts etc n only does when he wants to.... He himself said even if he has to say hello to someone he first thinks what purpose does it serve

[@rainbowjellybeans5815]

Hello, I want to tell you I was on your shoes just two years ago. I only recently feel like I fully cleared my emotions. But I was with one just like yours. You will not believe in much of what I'm saying now, but I ask that you TRUST THE PROCESS. If you go full NO CONTACT, you will allow yourself to clear yourself, very slowly little by little, of the gunk he has built inside of you. Ever heard of the notion that the body has memory? This is very true. Every trauma (and you will find over time that there are many) has been recorded by your body. You have to go FULL no contact. Change your phone number, move if you can (if not, don't answer the door etc), I changed jobs, change your email address completely don't just send to spam because you won't have the will power at this stage to not look. Same with the phone, I started out sending to spam and just felt compelled and fearful and like I needed to look. They feel like the best thing that happened to you and tell you no one can love you like the do, but this is not true. Not everything that glitters is gold. Many people in this community replied to my comments similar to yours, that I can do this. I didn't believe it. But it happened. I didn't go through with suixide. I regained the weight I lost from depression. They are pieces of shit and you will go through many cycles (also watch sam vaknin because he explains the stages) but in time (and it may take a while, be patient with yourself) I PROMISE you, you WILL be over him and as a matter of fact a much stronger person for it. Prayer also helped me. This brought me closer to God. God bless you!

[@yagirltoreyleigh1165]

@@rainbowjellybeans5815 Awesome comment!!

[@CarterSams]

Lol she never did want to eat chicken twice a week 😂

[@ludmilamaksimova5516]

Thank you very much☺

[@MAM-rv3jt]

I sent him my picture n he ignored it n commented on the cushion behind me

[@OhhKikka]

MA M I get it. It can be so baffling. I was also very very fascinated by strange behavior like that, and really amazed by how he could control himself around me.

[@max__pain]

That's pretty funny, you have to admit.

[@makeitcount2985]

Play him at his own game lol

[@olive2.0.2live3]

What isthe science of making Mia bored 222 death? I'm waiting 222 feel like I died & went 222 heaven not a perpetual state of purgatory 444 sins I DID knot commit..

[@thiery572]

Hello.

[@olive2.0.2live3]

I promise to lay in bed all day if you gots Mia a bed

[@olive2.0.2live3]

For a limited amount of time.. not indefinitely

[@olive2.0.2live3]

Omg

[@olive2.0.2live3]

How can you live like this

[@olive2.0.2live3]

Are you always going to find this the way ??

[@olive2.0.2live3]

What's it like being a cat... I always said I'd wanted 2 be reincarnated as a house cat... but who knows what are my thoughts vs your thoughts & programming... do you get confused where your sense of self is?? Do you think my thoughts are Dior thoughts? Lol 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆