Why Every Artist Should Set Boundaries

[@francineh.7825]

I firmly decided yesterday, after giving someone (a non-artist) a gift of a painting, that I will never do that again. This person did not realize how much work went into the piece, even though they had asked several times over the years for a painting of mine only to be lukewarm in response when I gifted them the piece. Anymore artwork I will create will have to be bought so that I know it is loved, and appreciated, by the buyer.

[@hollyexley]

👏👏👏

[@deborahmeyers7839]

Great decision. Sorry to hear that. I know how you must have felt but your decision is going to guard you in the future 🌺

[@gianlucacallara]

Well done on coming to that decision. Been there. Holly is so right about having boundaries. You, your time and your art are to be respect and valued.

[@deborahmeyers7839]

@@gianlucacallara absolutely

[@hanginthere1672]

Same here Francine. Been there, done that for a really close family member. I decided to make a portrait for them and it was a really large canvas. It was a big piece & I wasn’t use to the size but I pushed through anyway. I’m talking about 7 to 8 weeks of torture with this piece because that’s how much I wanted them to like it. Gave it to them; and the response was lukewarm. Never again.🌞

[@AmandaHoranGoBookYourself]

Oh, I feel the faux emergency thing. My new mantra is, "Your lack of planning is not my emergency."

[@hollyexley]

Love that!

[@txin999]

For real! This is an empowering mantra :)

[@Bunnybeebee531]

I know a successful illustrator he doesn’t use social media only website and he is doing fine in his career.

[@deborahmeyers7839]

Absolutely

[@isthatsharanya]

Who's that ?

[@DrBitchcraft.]

Most successful illustrators in my country have a tiny social media following! They have their own web portfolios though.

[@ArtByEmilyHare]

If they’re doing client work then this is understandable. For me who stopped doing client work and now produce my own work I can only rely on social media to tell folks about it. With the way social media is going I might have to go back to illustrating for clients again :/

[@ClayDisarray]

Agree on the video calls. Emails are very useful as a paper trail and they can always be used as evidence where needed.

[@ambergr46]

This is exactly why I like email. I can keep track of the conversation, go back to the email, and so can the client. It also gives me time to craft my reply; something I can't do on a phone call.

[@KallerhultCreations]

Yes, yes, yes! I forget half of what's been said in a phone call even if I take notes, because the phone call it self is making me nervous and anxious (not good brain juice). So I still have to write up a summary of what was said and send it off to make sure I didn't miss anything. Double the work, five times the effort.

[@thisismelissalang]

Very true!! Almost forgot about that little aspect - having a paper trail. I've been so used to being accustomed to meeting on video now (due to a shift in working that way since COVID).

[@annatromop6922]

Faux urgency is so real! I’ve had clients initially tell me they have lots of time, then suddenly later come back to me tell me they need it much quicker. I will always stick to the initial (agreed!) schedule unless they’re willing to compensate me for my overtime with a rush fee. (And usually when that’s introduced the rush is suddenly gone 😂🤦‍♀️)

[@itscarolinemary]

The increase in video calls is so true, haha. I think people are a little lazy in terms of writing all the details in an email and having a quick video call is easier for them.

[@gianlucacallara]

I have people asking me to answer some of their art questions via video call too! I makes me feel so uncomfortable becuase they are asking for a free class from me to 'pick my brain'. Heck no, i also have had to learn to say no and to not accept thing that cross by personal boundaires. I love what you're sharing. Thank you.

[@hollyexley]

So important to know the limits of what you can take on or accept!

[@Silver7195]

I have a boundary that's the opposite of yours. I used to pressure myself not to work the weekends, because I, too, believe people should have their free time firmly separated from work. But I realised it doesn't really work for me. My workflow is very motivation-based, and I may very well be able to work a lot with a great mood on a sunday, and be absolutely miserable trying to do the same thing on a monday. Being a freelancer has the perk of getting the work hours that work the best for you, and for me, I've found that it means no pre-decided schedule. (I do try not to send or answer emails in the weekend though, so that I don't send the image of someone who's always available, or the image that someone should be)

[@hollyfarndell3651]

i tooootally agree with you on resisting a fast paced work environment and always being ‘available’, i’d love to work for myself one day/ freelance because the world is just so geared towards overworking and thinking people are machines, i find it so toxic but also sometimes feel like i’m the only one who feels that way. i’m a slow gal, and i refuse ✌️

[@hollyexley]

Yesssss fellow slow gal! 🙏💙

[@watercolourartincapetown2919]

Yeah faux urgency when emails flagged as urgent 😝 “jump!” 🔔

[@thisismelissalang]

You aren't the only one, I promise. I'm right there with ya! :)

[@debbiedrawsfunny]

Nodding my head in agreement to all of these- especially the video calls. They're soooo icky. One of my boundaries is I stopped taking on custom work a couple years back, there's a handful of projects I did do, but they were because I actually wanted to work with these particular people and it was a pleasure. But overall, I find custom work way too stressful and prefer to just stick to my own work for my retail and wholesale catalogs. It's way more chill. Plus, I HATE how much they completely stress me out, from my own silly insecurities wondering if it's "good enough" to revises and a client's deadline (faux urgency or not). I haven't looked back on shutting down custom work and commissions. They burned me out.

[@hollyexley]

👏👏👏

[@thisismelissalang]

That's a good point and good that you acknowledged that for yourself. I think I need to adjust in that way as well. If you don't mind me asking, are you able to make a living on doing your own art for wholesale and retail? I strive to get there some day and hope it's possible. :)

[@ambergr46]

Really good tips about setting boundaries! I've worked as a graphic designer for over a decade now, and most of my work is through email. If a client can't communicate through email, and only wants to talk on the phone/or in person meetings, then they are probably not the right client for me (and they are probably a high-stress client), and I'm probably not the designer for them. I've learned it's okay to say "no" in my career, and I don't feel guilty about it.

[@EveBolt]

I had one of those video-call requests and It's really more energy consuming. Also, there's no "paper trail" of anything.

[@ryufromleupus]

Yes to everything you said! Especially on the social media use. After being on the internet for almost 20 years, I find my relationship with creating art, either for work or personal, got worse and worse. Even for someone who tries to be as self-conscious of where my mental health is at, I find myself caught in the spiral of being afraid to experiment or be creative due to the increase pressure of things like cancel-culture, peer pressure and non discussion circles that are rampant in the art community. I decided to lay off social media more starting April and I'm already enjoying art again and making so much progress with my technical skills as well.

[@SarahBurnsStudio]

I get a lot of those requests for video calls from companies too…like suddenly that is normal and I’m antisocial for not wanting too. Ick.

[@fathobbit6160]

Those boundaries all make so much sense. Thanks for sharing them with us.

[@ALEXAWRIGHT]

This video resonates with me! I've been setting way more boundaries this year. I totally hear you on the "faux-urgency" thing and feel you on the complex feelings around prioritizing your own work. It's important to keep my own projects going, and I'm realizing how it might seem odd to others to make them a priority. I like your boundary around the video chats and saying "thanks for your patience" instead of apologizing. xx

[@Raining_boba]

Your chatty videos just keep getting better and insightful

[@joannajensen6934]

This was just what I needed on a day full of self-pressure and a heavy layer of anxiety. Thank you Holly!

[@hollyexley]

😘

[@oneeyewitch]

Boundaries are important for your own mental health

[@hollyexley]

Truth

[@SarahMariLucas]

It's so nice to have a KZbinr artist that I can relate to! I have been feeling the same way that, as I grow as an Artist, I have to remind myself of my own values so that I can set the foundation for others to appreciate me. Many people - close relatives - don't appreciate my love for art, so I've learned to surround myself with better company so I can continue making art without stressing out. I've also learned that I need to make art I love, not what others want from me, unless I am willing to experiment of course. I also get asked so often to create free work and I have to try so hard to keep my composure because people really don't try to understand how much time and effort goes into learning or perfecting our skills. It's like, they want us to make unique art for free, but in the real world they're ready to buy something manufactured by robots or something made in unethical ways, that it's truly backwards.

[@deborahmeyers7839]

Boundaries are an absolute also in personal life you have to have boundaries to protect yourself and keep sane love your videos thanks for sharing Holly 😘

[@NatashaNewtonArt]

I just want to give all of this a round of applause.

[@naomivandoren]

Great list! One of mine that I thought of while you were sharing was not doing business exchanges via DM. It's so common to get messages from companies on social media these days and if they look promising I always ask that they email me to discuss further. I know there are some that swear by hustling in the DMs but honestly, I'd rather address any business endeavors in an email when I can be at my workstation during my work hours.

[@annatromop6922]

Totally agree with you! I always ask them to send me an email, but they never do 😂 must’ve been really serious about it.

[@TomFroese]

Hi Holly! Thanks for the mention! :)

[@BrLambert]

A big boundary is not revealing my "art" to people who are hypercritical (to the point of thinking they can tell me how and what to draw) of it, it was shocking to learn this recently and it has changed my course dramatically. Everything came to a screeching halt and I'm still having focusing issues with how to move forward. I also removed (because I wanted to) my character pages from FB and now will do the same with Instagram. I'm still working on small projects that I hope will lead me back on track. Holly you are wise beyond your years, thanks for you insightful perspective.

[@hollyexley]

Great boundary you've got there! 👏

[@zoec4972]

people who are 'hypercritical' are often not sensitive enough to realise that their spoken 'criticisms' are a reaction to their unresolved 'hypercritical' education/upbringing/workplace/relationships that they have experienced. basically they can't or won't question critical 'authorities' - which is relevant to boundary setting because unsensitive people are often 'threatened'/unsettled by creative challenges and resort to criticism as a defense. or of course they might be being cruel. and it is wise to share your art first with like-minded artists who do understand artmaking processes.

[@amandabenn43]

Excellent advice, so affirming to hear my own boundaries (especially social media) and refusing to buy into the hysteria of our too fast 24/7 world!

[@ellia_fabia]

Holly, your last few videos really helped me reevaluate what I should prioritize. I'm a freelance illustrator myself, just starting out since last year and I feel constantly overwhelmed. Your videos calm me down and help with organizing my thoughts. Thank you for that.

[@ErikaLancasterArt]

Thanks so much for this video, Holly. 💚Lots of what you mentioned resonated with me and it was helpful to hear there are others feeling these things. I refuse to feel guilty for making time for my mental/physical health and well-being, as well as to feel pressured by others' needs if they have nothing to do with my own life goals.

[@pohkapokets]

Thank you for this video. I work as an editorial freelancer and really needed something to reassure some of my current boundary practices. Kisses from Brazil

[@hollyexley]

congratulations on your boundary setting, I salute you!

[@pohkapokets]

@@hollyexley o/

[@beckyayers1978]

I love this, I share so many of your views and feelings but have always felt guilty or not ‘professional’ to actually make those feelings boundaries. It gives me confidence to hear that actually setting these boundaries and following your intuition means you ARE professional because you are weeding out time wasters and those that don’t value the time and effort it takes to craft quality art. Thank you

[@rachelwinkle9393]

Feeling so related with all you said on this video Holly!! Thanks so much for sharing this 💛

[@wild.soul.sketchbooks]

Thank you so much for talking about these issues Holly. As a creative I feel completely exhausted by the pandemic and so frazzled that I've lost faith in all my work and honestly have started hating alot of it. Thank you for talking about guilt around changing your mind and the importance of enjoying what you're doing. These are definitely things I'm currently working through xx

[@latishabrown2158]

Thank you for this! I was trying to shake the guilt of not being the person to grind constantly and be available 25 hours a day. Learning how to set boundaries is easy for me. Sticking to them is where I struggle but it's refreshing to know I'm not alone lol.

[@thisismelissalang]

I'm not even finished watching yet but I had to chime in...you are seriously my Creative savior!! I 100% agree with everything you're saying and am trying really, really hard to get to this point in my work life. I had a really rough day today with work (ironically enough) and was starting to beat myself up about loads of things, and your video was right there on my YT home screen like it was fate. Please, please don't ever stop speaking your mind about this stuff and fighting for this kind of balance for the creative world. It is so needed. I'm sure you've had to overcome an internal war yourself with this kind of thinking and going against the grain, but know there are many others I'm sure who feel this way. I know I do! Thank you again for everything you say and the content you put out. :))

[@ladazimina]

Thanks, Holly! I like the idea of writing it down - I do that once in a while to check in with myself. It really helps to gain clarity and to stick to my guns when I need to. One important principle I took on is to never come into any relationship (work or not) with an idea that this might be the only option. It’s kind of what you’ve mentioned too. There is *always* another option. There is always space to negotiate better terms. We need to believe in our talent, skills and value. Most of the time, we are not really starving and no money is worth the lost of our self-worth, unless it’s really critical. This attitude has truly changed and empowered me, and my boundaries are much more defined now. I hope more artists will find that strength within themselves too. Because all artists are f*cking badass 😉😉

[@hollyexley]

Really interesting perspective, thank you for sharing!

[@allyribeiro]

Feeling so much love for this video right now! I’ve been slowly working on my boundaries and discovering my true values as a professional illustrator, and I would love to know your opinion on this: do you feel that, if a freelancer is still stablishing their career in the illustration market, they are more pressured in order to “conform to the grind culture”? I’ve been a professional illustrator for a couple of years now, but still haven’t gotten to the point where I can take my art career fulltime, and sometimes I fear that if I stay true to my boundaries (such as not working on weekends or not responding to dms after 6pm, for example), I’ll get left behind or be considered as “someone who doesn’t take their job seriously”. Thank you so much for your excellent content, as always! 🧡

[@rhilee99]

Excellent video, thanks Holly! Super important topic. Some of my art biz boundaries are no custom work.. not playing the social media always-on game and being okay with the resultant algorithm fallout... and one that took me ages to be okay with, is not responding to people on social media that incessantly ask about my processes (ceramics).. giving people pointers here and there, absolutely, giving people in-depth responses so they can shortcut to my secret sauce, nay.

[@TheDottyRoom]

This resonates so much 👏🏻 I'm only a couple of years into my art journey & already feel the outside pressure seeping inwards. I'm so glad I found your video - I love how unapologetic you are for prioritising your time & your values over what others are trying to impress on you (which when written out in black & white like this seems such an obvious thing we should all do for ourselves, but it's quite shocking how much these things do seep in!). Sending love, Emily xo

[@Lily_Autumn]

YES to all of this! I need to get better at setting boundaries in all areas of my life. And whilst I miss seeing you on Instagram, I’m really glad that stepping away from it has been good for you. Give Midge and Quentin a snuggle for me! 💖

[@milkonlatte]

We really needed this video, thanks Holly, this is so important!

[@organic-artistic]

Hi Holly, I wanted you to know that I've been missing your videos. When I go on KZbin I often look for new content from you, so I thought I'd let you know that your lovely presence is missed. I can only imagine how challenging life in lockdown etc it is in the UK, and I support your decision to take care of yourself and not post if that is helping you. I really love your videos and your bright light. I hope that you're doing well. Sending loving support to you and your family 🥰❤️

[@Ann-fv8ik]

How refreshing. Good to hear your perspective on whats important

[@trigonita2001]

Thank you so much. I admire your ethic and honesty

[@milkyblue.tattoo]

Thank you for touching this subject, Holly. I think I’m not having boundaries in my personal life, I’m still working on that. I never thought about what my boundaries are in my artistic life and that’s surely something I could meditate on.

[@FilipaValentim]

Great video! Art needs to be appreciated and I think we as artists have a huge responsibility to actually treat our work and profession with the respect they deserve. If we don't, then we can't honestly expect others to do it. And what you say is so true - intuition goes a long way!

[@PolinaKalina]

Lots of wisdom there! Totally understand how a once exciting project gradually becomes a burden... It might be hard to drop after all the work but mental health comes first.👍 Regarding boundaries, I don't have much experience with client work but after one negative experience with a pets charity organisation when i agreed to urgently produce something for free (because the other artist could not deliver) only to be told that they preferred another option to my piece... I told myself to never do it again, and turned down a few requests since then. Charity should not be an excuse for poor ethics. Would rather keep making stuff for an organisation that i already support and have actual interest in.

[@Bunnybeebee531]

I just love your t-shirt. Nobody has that where I live. I would like to get one it’s really unique. And also I like freelance I like setting my own schedule and do what I want. I dislike I have to tell people when I go potty at work lol 😂

[@hollyexley]

thank you! hahaha :)

[@polkadot0tanktop]

I found so much validation in this video, thank you. I prefer to be thoughtful and intentional in the things I say and do, and in most work cultures that place high value on productivity and efficiency, those traits tend to feel like flaws. I do appreciate that in my current workplace they’re actively working on embracing and nurturing the strengths each individual can bring to the team instead of trying to mush everyone into the same complex superhuman mold that is impossible for any one person to fill.

[@JessWasHere]

Thank you for the great video Holly! ah, I can relate so much to the video call part. Video calls make me feel nervous the whole day, they have an impact on my workflow and, sometimes, they cancel the call last minute because the boss is suddenly busy. AH! 😩Of course, they are helpful to discuss complex projects, but I hate to jump in a call for a project I know nothing about and that, most likely, I'm going to refuse.

[@drawninthefog]

Thank you for mentioning being paid for any work you do. I'm a big believer that creatives should be paid for their work, and not just by "exposure". Last year I was contacted by someone asking me to run a workshop for free. When I declined, I was told others had agreed, as if I was being unreasonable 🙄

[@hollyexley]

Sounds familiar! They often use guilt as a way to convince creatives.

[@mary44448]

I love how calm, relaxing and gentle your voice sounds, and at the same time you manage to set your boundaries so firmly and assertively. I couldn't agree more on the points you make. All creatives in the world should watch this. Thank you 💗

[@hollyexley]

Aw thank you 😁

[@d.k.williams2546]

This video is extremely helpful to aspiring artists like myself. Thank you so much and looking forward to seeing more of your great content. 😊

[@EmilyKariya]

Thank you for yet another excellent video Holly! I havent worked out specific boundaries yet but I absolutely appreciate the value of them and need to work on that. I just never know what I should be doing and not doing. There seem to be so many messages about things 'you should do to be a successful X' but I find most of these things grind in the opposite direction to how I feel most comfortable. Like a cat with its fur stroked the wrong way. I really appreciate hearing you firmly and clearly talk about rejecting so many things I (and a lot of us) feel pressured to do. I will need these reminders until I get the knack of it. I have been trying to do Instagram and self-promotion and mostly hating it haha. So much to navigate when trying to work out what I will do. Your videos help! Thank you x

[@BexEtcArt]

Thanks so much for making this ! I feel like I have permission to have boundaries too - it’s hard as an artist because I sometimes still feel like I’m taking the mick drawing for a living lol

[@harvey8138]

I really needed this video, thank you for sharing your boundaries 🥺

[@katec9893]

I've turned down my first four offers of work for these reasons. One wanted a rebrand but didn't know that's what it was called and didn't understand the difference between an illustrator and a graphic designer. Another person gave me a weird gut feeling which proved right when they reacted oddly to my polite decline of work. Another was a friend who offered me work then took it away, and another was when I just didn't feel ready to take work on. I want the work to feel right and like both of us will be happy with the outcome.

[@amydipper9384]

You always have such relatable insights and really help me understand myself! I would say that you should consider video calls and phone calls more often, I've found with my anxiety it helps me a lot to expose myself to things that make me feel uncomfortable socially. You come across so well on this channel and are very intelligent - you will come across this way on video calls too!

[@lauragonzalezf8259]

Thank you Holly for keep sharing things that are so important in the art career/field right now, especially with all the "hustle culture"! You bring such positive, raw, and honest ideas🌱❤️

[@Rachaelshaw7]

Well Done. Thank you for letting us into your progress

[@zoec4972]

thanks so much for this video. its very timely. our health as freelancers (physical and mental) must come before work demands, cos the work 'panic' culture really is toxic.

[@jess116seafollycrazy]

Hi Holly, I just want to say I love your videos and appreciate your effort in making relevant and helpful content with real depth and honesty - your videos are some of the highest quality art advice i have come across, so thank you ♥

[@sabinassketchbook]

Well said, thank you for this video Holly 💙

[@ArtySubu]

Hi Holly, this is so relevant! I was definitely guilty of not having boundaries, and have been so much happier since I began to set them both in my personal as well as professional life. I no longer take on ‘urgent’ projects and yes, I do feel the FoMO, but am learning to savour the JoMO instead! Will be adding a few of yours in too!

[@jessicamaivlogs4308]

I'm definitely going to be implementing some of these into my art career as well. Thank you so much for making this!

[@brainsquid]

this is really helpful thank you for such an honest video

[@sophiemurphy_vocalist]

Hi Holly, I love your videos. So calming and inspired a new outlook for me as an artist. Are you restocking your Etsy shop any time soon? Thanks again x

[@shine9080]

I totally agree with your way of thinking as it’s part of having the life you wish and it’s amazing. What makes me think about it’s that you need to be in a very privileged financial position to set all these boundaries? I mean, if an illustration lives by own and make all these choices is it possible to live with only one creative income? I’m asking you because I’d love to have the power of choice every time like you but I don’t exactly can select like that, sometimes it’s about surviving. Maybe you could make a video on it, if you’d like or sharing some tips. Thank you

[@hollyexley]

This is a great question, thank you for asking. I'd like to talk more about privilege in future videos so stay tuned.

[@BenthicFern]

I have experienced years of dread and guilt for not continuing a book that was uninteresting to me. That's so much time I could have found books I liked (instead of insisting on pushing my way slowly through pages of displeasure).

[@watercolourartincapetown2919]

That intro 😂 sounds like me when I try to talk myself into a cold shower to “wake myself up” 😂

[@hollyexley]

😂

[@watercolourartincapetown2919]

@@hollyexley 🚿 😂

[@The_Open_Book]

Oh no! I hadn't considered the shift in people wanting video calls since covid-19! I'll definitely have to set that boundary myself, if I took a call with a stranger that's my whole day's energy gone and I'm terrible at saying no to things so it's really a lose lose for me 😅

[@BrotmitMarmelade]

I must say I really really enjoy your content !! it is so helpful and really putting things into perspective. recently I deleted the instagram app and I must say, I am really keen to delete it completely (like account included ) because I noticed a tremendous improvement on my mental health! but that brings me to my question: as one that really wants to try to make a living out of my art and illustrations, what is the way to go without instagram ( as a beginner with no reputation :D)?? I really feel lost in this, also thought to keep my account as a portfolio, but yeah. maybe you have some other perspectives on this that I am not seeing, it would be really helpful! have a lovely evening, best wishes from Germany ! :)

[@yuting386]

Thank you!

[@artsoldier77]

Yes, perfect!

[@jenvcampbell]

Faux urgency! Yes! So much yes. (By which I mean no, thank you, ha). xx

[@imjustanothersam]

This! SO. MUCH. THIS. 🙌

[@bellefairydust]

Not related to the video but do you use anything to do digital work like a iPad? Do you think macs are the best for illustrators or are PCs good?

[@jordgubb7139]

Hello Holly... I hope you are all right. Big hug

[@jonnanorth]

Oh, maybe you could make a small zine instead of a cookbook? Out of the illustrations you already made?

[@nataszakura1432]

Sad to hear about the cookbook but I understand that you might lost your interest in the project and that's ok :) will you be turning the existing cookbook content into something else? Also I wish you were the Skillshare teacher :D

[@paigel8777]

Now just send clients this video when they’re giving you shlt 😂

[@hydrangeadragon]

yeah video calls like that seem dodgy, it's best to have it all in writing so you can hold them to their word if they try to pull some dodgy moves lol

[@zoec4972]

totally - get everything in writing. (but as its 'artworking' - there always extra work to be done).

[@Barbara4ox]

💎

[@melissamejia1201]

!!!!!!