Why Goa'uld society is just the worst thing ever.

When i wrote this it was midnight and i was tired. I decided to keep the simple synopsis since i think it's funny. Here's a short tldw instead of a video description. Everyone is "forced labor" but the goa'uld themselves. The goa'uld are back stabby, treacherous little shits. The goa'uld are just space furrys. The goa'uld system lord are all trash. Ba'al is absolutely hilarious and the best villain in the show.
Hopefully you enjoy the video, I don't feel good about it but what can you do, hopefully you all find some value in it.
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[@Ve-om7lf]

"Goa'uld society, the more you read into it, the worse it gets" Yep. Pretty much.

[@rh906]

Happens when they are just generic mooks/villians in a movie, there was no worldbuilding for them. Any worldbuilding (if you can call that) was done way later when SG-1 actually got popular.

[@drakkenmensch]

"Let's move on to something more palatable: the ritual cannibalism" is NOT a phrase I was expecting to mark on my bingo card today.

[@laisphinto6372]

They are just holy roman empire in space.

[@Ve-om7lf]

@laisphinto6372 sad thing, the HRE was far more stable. At the end of the day there was a relatively stable bureaucracy with a known factor at the head. With the HRE even if an Emporor died, the bureaucratic institutions survived and the replacement was almost certainly a known factor, it's a Hapsburg from Austria. With the snakes? Any faint idea of that stability us thrown right out the window. It's just a bunch of back stabbing ego maniacs who won't even think of acknowledging "hey a little stability might be useful".

[@laisphinto6372]

@@Ve-om7lf Well then IT IS similar to the crisis of the third century, having in These crisis time a unknown Power Come in tends to Crash the whole Thing. Rome survived only survived because of very competent emperors that could do good stuff before they got murdered

[@JohnNathanShopper]

Yes, the society was feudal and actually based on technological stagnation. Humans stay scared living in huts and cabins, Jaffa soldiers maintain the same traditions and combat tactics for centuries, and the Gou’a’uld get to play as Egyptian gods.

[@verdebusterAP]

The reason for that is explained in the movie. Humans learning to read and write eventually got wise to fact that Goulds were not gods and everything goes down hill for them Engineering the Jaffa to be dependent on them was easily enough but at the same time, if the Jaffa ever got wise, they could easily reverse the situation Simple put, the Gould were always playing with fire and constantly getting burned Apohis, Anubis and Baal were the only ones which actually got smart enough to upset the order of things but even then,, their egos still got in the way

[@JohnNathanShopper]

@@verdebusterAP Yes, but the point Sci is making here is that the Gou’a’uld kept going for 20,000 years. That’s a long time to be constantly getting burned. Somehow, they made it work.

[@Nostripe361]

@@verdebusterAP I think the main issue is the civilian gou'a'ulds. They have the desire and time research; both for the fame or using said tech to usurp the overlords. I think this could have been solved by either saying that even the lower ranking ones aren't interested in anything more than hedonistic stuff or by having the backstabbing and murder among the researcher class being even worse then among the system lords.

[@verdebusterAP]

@@Nostripe361 True Gouald scientist were good but the hierarchy would have never allowed them to excel Not to mention their shear lack of foresight Case in point, Tollen had the technology that would easily given the Gould a massive advantage Remember they could disable any type of weapon so imagine being able to disable the enemy Jaffa's weapons That would massive boost their imagine of being gods as well make problems for Tokra and Tauri Additionally their phase shifting , again massive advantage Imagine have your Jaffa simply walk through the walls to grab a rival gould They could have been so much worst to deal with but their egos was their down fall

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Ah yes, kronos, that famous egyptian god. And Lord You. Err Yu. Did Yu err You forget about him?

[@nibblitman]

I do love that they basically made cannon that they are dumb dumb villains.

[@dungeonmasteromega]

The brain damage from overuse of sarcophagus technology shined much illumination on the logic behind much of the Goa'Uld dumbassery.

[@TheGenericavatar]

A Star Gate episode indicated that the host is locked in their own body, aware and able to sense their environment as normal but entirely unable to do /anything/ but passively observe the world. They can't even control the eyes.

[@seb24789]

For thousands of years.

[@imtableship1703]

Some hosts were able to influence the decisions of their symbiote, but it was taboo to discuss, since the G'ouald were also convincing THEMSELVES they deserved the galaxy.

[@dakinademino977]

Ah, Apophis host, the first time he died his host gained back enough control to speak doing the final few days. They also mentioned if I recall it right, that Baal's host dying from the extraction was an act of mercy since everyone he knew was long dead and he had likely gone insane from watching his own body order countless genocides on top of directly committing murders and tortures of prisoners.

[@Grizabeebles]

​@@dakinademino977-- If I remember right, there was an episodes where a bunch of clones of Baal's host without symbiotes got "rescued" by the SGC - only to carry out a commando-style raid. I always thought Ba'al was the rare exception where the host was just as much of a monster as the snake.

[@thomasmcknight4275]

​@Grizabeebles Baal actually cloned the symbiote as well as the host. Which is why the symbiote poison worked on them when Baal prime killed them before going after Adria

[@RorikH]

Sci-Insanity: Come for the mechs, stay for the worm kinkshaming.

[@Gabezilla-eb2so]

YUP literally my story involving the channel.

[@dylanfrancis5996]

Me tonight

[@gabbymadsen7260]

Does your Empire have no Emperor? Petty infighting? A fulimg council created through power plays, political intrigue, and outright betrayal? You don't have a functional government, you have the Klingon Empire.

[@nathlack6170]

Or the Holy Roman Empire on earth

[@BarbershopBytes-ox3dr]

Really its just a Republic without capital.

[@GuyverFan]

The Goa'uld are one of my favorite Sci-fi races, because their incompetence makes sense in universe & I find that hilarious.

[@Nostripe361]

NOt to mention that they lucked out to arrive on a galaxy that at the time that the original major powers were either in isolation, dead/ascended, or busy in another galaxy fighting robo-bugs. They are the sci-fi villain equivalent of that spoiled rich kid who acts like he is special but only got where he is with daddy's money and fold the moment they run into any real competition.

[@LeolaTheElf]

They’re so comically over the top evil that it turns out to be funny 😂

[@matt_9112]

Really got me thinking there. People always say "plain evil villains are boring". But I think the problem is we don't get to see that anymore. There's always some wonky justification or twisted logic nowadays. If you fully commit and accept the sometimes comical aspects, it works pretty well.

[@evilemuempire9550]

@@LeolaTheElfThey’re literally bad guys in capes

[@Soguwe]

The Ha'Tak motherships we see in the shows are actually quite recent developments. From the time around the 1600s, if I remember correctly That's why they have 3 instead of 4 sided Pyramids. The Cheops class before it had 4

[@grimjoker5572]

The time scale makes more sense when you take into account the fact that their history isn't a straight line. There were a few dynasties which rose and fell, from Anubis to Ra. Each one lost a lot of technology as these dynasties hoarded their knowledge as a means of keeping power. This is why a lot of their advancements in the show are rediscovering something Ra or Anubis had squirreled away somewhere.

[@dawall3732]

25:45 In one of the books part of the reason they eat each other especially their enemies is because they can absorb at least part of the genetic memory and knowledge of the enemy gaining some measure of control over whatever technology they had.

[@evanperes7382]

book canon is 🤷‍♀ tho

[@Darlf_Sevil]

@@evanperes7382 to be fair for stargate who have no new movies books are canon and it have seans

[@AdamTehranchiYT]

Makes sense to me

[@shiroamakusa8075]

You left out that the Goa'uld not only have genetic memory inherited from their progenitor queens, but also that the side-effects of the sarcophagus, which they use to massively prolong their lives, are not only addiction but also a severe hormonal imbalance that increases aggression and lowers self-control. So you have hyper-competitive space-parasites that are already nurturing an inferiority complex getting roided up and then these memories of being a self-loathing narcissist drug-addicts are transferred unfiltered to the next generation. There are two separate episodes, one in which Daniel inherits the genetic memory of a Goa'uld and gradually turns into a tyrant (he describes it as having a million Hitlers constantly screaming at him in his head) and another where he's exposed to repeated sarcophagus treatments that turn him into raging d-bag.

[@jtfbreedlove]

Anubis didn't quite ascend, he got close and conned Oma into helping him finish. After he ascended the "in charge" ascended booted him back to meat space but to punish Oma they didn't (fully)de-ascend him or wipe his memory of stuff he learned while ascended which is standard evidently. Just told him to not use his remaining ascended powers otherwise go hog wild with his knowledge of Alteran(ancient) science.

[@JoshSweetvale]

Collective punishment, the sign of an 'ascended' morality. Should've used the Merlin device(which deformats the Warp back to still waters) on the Milky Way as well.

[@omega9216]

@@JoshSweetvale as much as Ancients are useless most of the time they do keep other accended out of the Milkey Way

[@bhighlander]

ba'al has the best bad guy introduction in the history of scifi. "i am ba'al." "that's it? just ball? as in bocce?"

[@DefiantSix]

I have a dog for whom -Ba'al- Ball is his favorite-est thing ever. You'll never find that dog without his favorite Ball nearby.

[@zeehero7280]

I love how some human military officer (later general) became the nemesis of this self proclaimed space-god

[@JohnNathanShopper]

There’s a bit of an argument that it doesn’t quite make sense in-universe. The Gou’a’uld don’t really have enough scientists like Nirti or Cronus’s scientist to examine alien tech. But it’s amazing how they managed to write a somewhat believable mustache-twiddling villains that constantly ran afoul of their own dumb society.

[@toadman1092]

imo in the power vacuum left behind by the alterans/ancients, the goa'uld were the wrong species at the right time to take advantage of it. the asgard werent able to fully intervene because the replicator war, the nox became forest-children and didn't care, and the furlings were (redacted). it was pretty much the perfect recipe for an awful meal.

[@JohnNathanShopper]

That’s a good point, but it means Ancients and normal humans truly coexisted. We know from King Maybourne that the Ancients studied primitive human civilizations. I prefer to think that the Ancients set up a really strong galactic society with allies like the Tolan and Reese’s creators, but it all went to hell when the Ancients ascended and became isolationist. So It was really the Gou’a’uld that imposed technological stagnation on the galaxy.

[@JohnNathanShopper]

@@toadman1092Since I believe the Ancients had a strong galactic civilization, it’s worth looking up a video called “the Nox and Asgard hate each other.” The Nox are pacifists forest children and the Asgard are warlike geneticists. The guy makes a good argument that the only thing holding galactic society together was the Ancients themselves, the gate builders, and when the Ancients got bored with life and turned into Force ghosts, everybody else quit playing nice and went back in their corners.

[@thanqualthehighseer]

@@JohnNathanShopper I always theorized the Ancients were responsible for the virus that wiped out 60% of the Asgard and most to become sterile so they had to turn to cloning. Ether they thought the Asgard could surpass them technology wise or become a future military rival and the Furlings figured this out later and withdrew from the galaxy incase they were next.

[@JohnNathanShopper]

@@thanqualthehighseer 👍Yup, that’s better than what the writers came up with, the whole “bored with fighting the Wraith” thing.

[@ACrustyCount]

Yes, you are fully aware of all your body's actions without any control. You are a spectator in your own body. The host to Apophis got some control back at one point and had a panic attack that he had been a prisoner for hundreds of years I actually didn't know about the destroy the host consciousness and thought it was the Goauld being dicks and trying to crush the hopes of others by saying the host dies

[@JoshSweetvale]

That is correct. "Nothing of the host survives" is a lie the Goa'uld say mostly to _themselves_ because they don't wanna lose control of their host.

[@michaelroy7754]

Remember the host is fully aware of everything their body does, sees and hears... i feel sorry for the hosts the woman hathor was in never asked for this to happen to her.. they set her ON FIRE!

[@SoullessAIMusic]

What I would love is a System Lord Sim game, where you start off as a nobody worm and have to work your way up to being the big boss.

[@JoshSweetvale]

Crusader Kings

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Stellaris. Set the game to spawn several advanced empires that will start with more shit than you do.

[@SoullessAIMusic]

@@trazyntheinfinite9895 but you only start off as an emperor god when on easy mode.

[@matt_9112]

Character creation = picking a host. So you start as an actual worm. Love it.

[@luscinius2933]

Minor correction, not every goa'uld that rules a system is a System Lord, there are hundreds of worms that are minor Lords under a System Lord, there are some that just sit in their corner and don't care, System Lord was an organisation with restricted membership. Technological stagnation is also explained by Ra just forcing status quo, if a System Lord developed something, and got caught, he will be forced to share this shit with the rest of them. It is noticeble that after the death of Ra, the technological development spiked a bit. And about htem being evil bastards... Well imagine you remeber being you great-grandma birthing you grandma, you also remembering you as your granpa going down on your grandma, you also remember your grampa going down on you as your grandma. In 4k/60 fps full dive, with smells, tastes, everything. Shit like that will drive anyone insane.

[@GoNo117]

Alternative video title idea: Two individuals who may or may not be on illicit substances talk about space snakes.

[@qwefg3]

My favourite answer for why the Goa'Uld suck at inventing things is the theory of the Gates. Mostly early scenes they had language barrier issues and that was mostly removed. So someone had suggested the langue barrier issue was due to the lack of a Dial for their gates as the more they used their star gate the more it updated the systems and directly downloaded the language of where they were going into their minds. Thus why everyone spoke English on different planets. The idea for this is made worse by claiming it is the reason why many non-human species do not use Star Gates... It was made for humans and the information download is hazardous to non-humans. So considering how long the Goa'uld have been using it... They kept accidentally doing brain damage to themselves until they became as incompetent as their modern day versions. Essentially the 'Society accidentally gave themselves mercury poisoning' and the empire is running fine because the minions keep getting replaced and leave the cogs moving... But as seen by Jafa Rebellion... The cracks in the system have been spreading. Death by decay, brain damage, and madness.

[@chancellorjake]

There's also at least one episode where they mention that the healing sarcophagus is absolutely destroying the moral center of the host's brain.

[@kend6232]

There's historical theory here to support what you're saying. There's evidence that the Romans use of lead in plumbing and water containers made lead poisoning an issue, especially among the rich ironically. It's a debatable theory, but its there. Lead poisoning is a historical event that has reoccurred frequently, Flint, MI the most recent epidemic outbreak I can recall.

[@ptonpc]

I like that idea.

[@schiefer1103]

@@kend6232I think that is what they were referring to with the mercury poisoning bit in the comment.

[@GoNo117]

Also wasn't a big part of the Goa'uld being assholes came from overuse of the sarcophagus?

[@warlordjay4416]

And they also were born with the memory of they are particularly lineage. This means that if your parent was driven crazy by the sarcophagus then your entire personality when you are born is also insane.

[@ReddwarfIV]

​It always annoyed me that the indigenous Goa'Uld on their home planet basically behaved just like their spacebourne cousins, despite never having been near a sarcophagus.

[@Sinapus]

One thing that does appear to affect the Goa'uld is they have a genetic memory. As in, they remember all the atrocities of the symbiotes before them, which I guess corrupts a larval Goa'uld rather quickly. It's not set in stone since Egeria, the one who created the Tok'Ra was a Goa'uld queen who'd became disillusioned with how the Goa'uld were and started editing the memories of her offspring. The Tok'Ra tend to be a bit arrogant, but their desire to share a host body with the host seems to indicate she made a good effort. (Though it can be rocky. I'm amused that "Seth" came about partly because Selmak decided to "help" Jacob Carter make amends with his son and finally meet his grandchildren... whether Jacob wanted to or not.)

[@Belligerent_Herald]

It’s funny, that armor was incredibly effective for the first season or so, especially considering that it’s just chain mail with a breastplate. At the start they shrug off whole magazines from the humans. They don’t turn into cannon fodder until the season finale of season 1. No reason is given, which is weird because stargate is famous for having a reason for everything, not a good reason but a reason.

[@dragonknightleader1]

There is a reason. Early Stargate seasons had SG-1 run around with MP5s which shoot 9mm, so while they had a lot of ammo, it's armor penetration was much to be desired. Then they switched over to P-90s and they use 5.7mm, which is a bit better penetrating armor. That being said, SG-1 should have been running around with M-4 carbines. It's a little heavier, but those are rifle rounds. Hell, in the SG-1 movie, the Thomson Submachine gun punched through G'ould armor because, well, it's a Tommy gun shooting .45 ACP.

[@Belligerent_Herald]

@@dragonknightleader1 nah, that’s how I thought I remembered it as well. I’m actually going through the series right now, got into the mood for some nostalgia a few days ago, middle of season 2, Jaffa are dropping like flies and SG-1 is still carrying MP5s. As well any time the marines from SG-3 get involved in the first season carrying heavier weapons it’s the same effect, ping of like BB’s. Feels like the writers just thought it was time to move the Go’auld from being overwhelming to something we could deal with.

[@jacara1981]

@@Belligerent_Herald Theres a brief mention of them switching to depleted uranium rounds (which are real and are very good at piercing armor and causes much more damage). They state they have to use them sparingly because they don't have many yet.

[@hirozhen7475]

@@dragonknightleader1 Season 4 ep. 8 is when they switched to the P90.

[@shiroamakusa8075]

Not just that, in the first season the Jaffa staff weapon is capable of cracking massive rock with a single hit. Four seasons later it's laughed at as a pure "weapon of terror" which barely makes a suspended log sway it hits. They had to nerf the Jaffa hard to give SG1 a chance to actually get things done.

[@bartlester591]

From everything that I’ve read and seen from Stargate SG1 when you are controlled by a Gould you can see everything you know what’s going on, but you can’t do anything. There is a few episodes that they describe it of what’s going on in the process actually works, but the ones I remember the most are the ones where Jack O’Neal’s friend from abadus I believe his name is Skara had his removed by the token and he said that he couldn’t do anything, but he could see and remember everything that happened. Same thing with. Vala and other Gould hosts

[@attilavarga1152]

The Jaffa armor is not that bad, (if you remember the first episode in the series), but the Earth forces started to use armor piercing ammo. Just like in BSG. (There must be a TV Trope about this) Funnily enough, they use the same real world weapon.

[@hhenning9860]

I did not remember the AP rounds. I always thought Jaffa armor was meant for two things: - Intimidate a bunch of illiterate peasants that were forcibly kept at a bronze-age tech level - Protect against the weapons from said tech level. Until the Tau'Ri came along Jaffa would not have had to deal with modern projectile weapons. The armor would be very effective against melee weapons.

[@spodula]

I think one of the reasons Baal survived as long as he did, was because he is one of few system lords that doesn't actually believe all rubbish about being gods et al. He knows he's not actually immortal and acts appropriately.

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Btw jaffa armor is gearded towards protecting from archaic weapons, such as: Blades, spears, clubs, hammery, boards with nails and arrows. Its a form of chainmail or hardened gambeson with a chest piece from a more solid material. If you wanna see goauld armor thats good, see the Kull armor, introduced by AnnoyBuzz

[@scienceinsanity6927]

So, I've heard this argument before, a lot, but the primary use the Jaffa have is fighting other system lords. A small detachment of jaffa and death gliders is shown to be enough to bring entire primative worlds to their knees. So the primary enemy is other jaffa and goa'uld staff weapons during spats and territory conflicts. Against those, they're still god awful. Seems like a stormtrooper armor sort of thing where they're meant to look intimidating rather than actually work. Especially since the goua'uld lords have personal shield generators.

[@anthonybrown30]

You missed a rank in your breakdown. The Under lords they are differentiated from System lords by the fact they serve System lords and are usually in command of a single planet or a fleet of ships for their master (IE Osiris was Anubis's Under lord) and are visually distinct from System lords by their Kara Kesh the glove like hand device with the big red gem being Silver in colour instead of Gold.

[@richardford6589]

Zoos you're thinking about zoos . The only people who consider zoos furries are other zoos. Most furrys just look at it as a type of Cosplay. Much like one would cosplay there D&D character.

[@troikas3353]

Where was it said the Gould have a large civilian pop of scientists and engineers? Far as I remember its said many times the Gould didn’t invent most of what they use, they scavenged or stole it from other races they subjugated or dead worlds they explored. They can produce and maintain most of it but they don’t generally put much effort into actually developing their own creations.

[@praetorurbanus2917]

From my memories of the show, I can only think of 3-5 Goa'uld who actually had science stuff going on. Nirtti, Anubis, Thoth, Nerus, and (maybe) Apophis. Nirrti did the hok'taur experiments that produced Cassie, Doc Fraiser's adopted daughter. Anubis produced shields and weapons capable of putting Ha'tak motherships in the threat range of Asgard ships. Thoth produced the Kull warriors, or at least oversaw production for Anubis. Nerus worked for Ba'al, and claimed that he'd been the one behind the season 8 'dial every 'gate in the galaxy simultaneously' bit for the anti-Replicator wave. And Apophis was shown, in season 4, to be developing a new, more powerful variant of Ha'tak, which SG-1 destroyed the prototype of. I can't remember if he got that tech from Sokar, though.

[@imtableship1703]

Completely failed to mention Hathor, Daniel, and O'Neill having a... really weird episode that explained a lot of the lifecycle.

[@stethespaniard2]

There are a few mistakes here. The system lords did not take the identities of gods from earth. Their life and battles became our legends. Unless you think the rivalries between them are fake

[@michaelboyd7007]

The goa'uld have a bloodline Memory

[@dawall3732]

32:42 Nah, he actually survived the time travel shenanigans and smashed on the floor by the Tok'Ra. There is a greenpeace save the whale's video. That was actually made cannon somehow where he appeared and made a statement to (Save The Wales) that was made to happen after he supposedly died and was smashed on the floor after the extraction. So he actually survived in cannon.😂

[@JoshSweetvale]

He has clones. Let's assume one of 'em survived and decided to retire.

[@arrgylerawrgyle3784]

Hey the bagpipe video was legendary!

[@verdebusterAP]

A whole society of megalomaniacs was always doomed to fail

[@michaelroy7754]

Remember Bhaal had a LITERAL TIME MACHINE and sti didnt fix anything or wi !

[@Sinapus]

He got close, but the usual Goa'uld backstabbing ultimately thwarted him. I have my own theory that Ba'al came across the Evil Overlord List while hiding out on Earth and started thinking about it.

[@randyfant2588]

yes and no - they did have advances during their reign, they just didn't have much in the way of physical changes. Most advances were to existing systems, making staff weapons slightly more powerful, recharge slightly quicker or store more shots. They had no reason to have a completely new weapons or change the shape of their ships. They work, why change? Most of the equipment were integral to their culture and identity, so they didn't want them to change astatically. In addition, any major advancement (like a new pyramid killer ship) would shift the balance of power, make the developing lord a major threat to all the others and thus the target of a group alliance, which could be dangerous. They are the system lords, they don't want things to visibly change, because that can result in them no-longer being the system lords. But mainly, they are parasites. That is the very essence of their being. It seems a lot of people don't get that. parasites don't innovate, they take. Ultimately ALL of the system lord's tech is stolen, taken from others. There are very few who take to research and development, most simply carve out their own little niche kingdom and take tribute from their slaves. That's what parasites do.

[@Imber_Pluma]

ya they are dumb but their also smart. one of the reason is the big bad from the first movie (were it all started) forced all the others to not use or develop any new tech while he was around. his death enabled the tech level acrossed all the goa'uld territories to advance dramatically. session one finally Tealc thought it would take months or a year to reach earth. a few hours latter their outside Jupiter. and he is shocked.

[@Imber_Pluma]

you also missed the bit were the minor league system lords (some word that doesn't deserve to be written down) got wiped out in one go by one guy.

[@bartlester591]

Two more interesting facts, and I didn’t notice this until I looked at the little symbols the one for lord u is a symbol for not only a Chinese tong which is a like a gang or a mafia group called the red dragons but if you ever have ever played the game, Mahjong, it’s an actual tile piece and it represents dragons. Just thought you’d like to know that and I’m a big fan of Stargate and Stargate Atlantis and to me I find the more interesting enemies out of both of them to be the wrath. They just are mean on a whole Nother level and somebody had posted an idea a scary one think about a system, Lord, escaping to the Pegasus Galaxy and installing itself in a wraith

[@chromesucks5299]

a goauld parasite worming its way to control a wrath hive-queen.

[@OptimusJedi]

Bitching about Stargate is something I didn’t know I needed. Lol! Such a good show but also fun to dissect.

[@sg-24]

Wow a channel that talks about Stargate and actually mentions info brought up in the comics and books. Can't wait for you guys to get multiple comments saying those don't count as cannon. ;) Jokes aside really good video. Alot of people focus of the horror of the Wraith over the Goa'uld. And if they do it's usually over the possession thing. Kind of forgot just how much of their "society" just sucks at every single level.

[@Lumen_Obscurum]

I think the Jaffa Prime system should go First, Second, Third, Fifth, etc. That would be a fun bit of lore.

[@thesilentninja9255]

As a near immortal race (compared to us) 15000 years would be nothing, pretty much all the system lords that SG1 meet were around before writing was a thing on earth.

[@tristanbackup2536]

Galactic time scales. Some civilisations would develop slow, some really fast.

[@drakeevans3066]

These guys make the Galactic Empire look competent.

[@dariustiapula]

Goa'uld are just hardcore Egyptian LARPERS.😆

[@Drave_Jr.]

I thought we were getting this right after the Ha'tak episode.

[@jasoncox4640]

I find the Goa’uld fascinating. The entire idea of ruling an empire through worship and technology denial is so interesting.

[@roguedruid]

17:50 It's because the Goa'uld are just the Capellans in disguise

[@krzosu]

30:10 Um they can be on par but later episodes with the Ori established that they can sap power from faithfull thus empowering themselves to a point where other ascended beings are no match for them - Morgan la fe said so about Aria when Aria assumed the Mantle of the Ori and all the sapped power belonged to her only - so Aria could esaly wipe the floor if she was challanged by another being. Also on top of that Ancients could band togheter to force another to back down or even be de evolved. Also Oma stopped Daniel once so in essence she was stronger than him.

[@JoshSweetvale]

Oma stopping Daniel was her being backed by the rest of the Ascended. And it's Adria.

[@krzosu]

@@JoshSweetvale In one of the episodes when Daniel asks Oma directly why SHE stopped him - she said she had to step in otherwise others would and they wouldn't be so nice about it so yes she was able to stop Daniel on her own. As for typo yes it was Adria.

[@wingren13]

I can't wait until we get wraith and the hiveships brought up.

[@GuardianSage]

Could you imagine the crazy that would happen if a Goa'uld managed to take over a wrath queen?

[@zeehero7280]

How could you not make the Yu? Me? joke?

[@azrael1045]

Isn't their tech just what they found that the ancients left behind

[@scienceinsanity6927]

No, some of it is like the sarcophagus. But most of it is goa'uld native designs. Only the really, really high end stuff is ancient designed.

[@NonExistingName]

I havent watched Stargate since I was like, 10. I mostly remember finding it kinda lame and TOO nerdy for me... Yeah, because being obcessed with space and Ben10 makes you the coolest kid on the block 🙄🙄 I now realise the error of my ways. You've opened my eyes to how fucking hilarious it actually is. P.S.: Love your commentary and editing style :)

[@Lumen_Obscurum]

I love the episode where we go to THE Goa'uld planet. As in, their planet of origin. We see where they evolved, and we meet a non-controlled version of the biped they evolved alongside who is stronger, tougher, and faster than humans but also much more of a gigantic pain in the ass because the un-augmented guys they evolved alongside, are as strong as Jaffa with their symbiote powers. I also love that it suggests they enslaved them, then got beaten and it's pure fucking luck that the Goa'uld ever left their planet. Also, you left out that the Goa'uld possess genetic memory. That means that all the times the queens of each genetic line got affected by their hosts attraction to other host bodies, got passed along to EVERY child she had. They can directly blame their mother for being Horny For Hosts. At least they can identify where their kink comes from.

[@scienceinsanity6927]

I hate you, I hate this comment. This implies that every goa'uld has mommy issues and got their kinks from mother dearest. I hate that. Why would you type this. I was aware of their genetic memory and left it out because it dragged on unnecessarily but this makes it so much worse.

[@julianmolder8162]

i just love stargate.

[@astronomybrainiac]

I just started rewatching SG-1, this video is very fortuitously timed.

[@jjallen8790]

Goa'uld scientists do not invent they improve.

[@seanbrazell7095]

Sho-va kree! ☝️🤪👈

[@alexs5814]

Huh.. would have expected for you to talk about the Tok'ra but then again, this vid is already long enough and another one could be wonderful.^^ Thanks for this one, it was a nice recollection. i like Stargate very much.

[@scienceinsanity6927]

The tok'ra are fundamentaly different from the goa'uld though so i figured they deserved their own video. Their culture, customs, relationship with their hosts. It's all radically different than the goa'uld.

[@alexs5814]

@@scienceinsanity6927 NICE!! I'll be waiting^^

[@sirhenry9313]

Oh look..... Ba'al 😂

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

"Egotistical Shitlords" that does sum it up.

[@UniversalChallenge4454]

baal is the road runner

[@philly83]

Any time anyone mentions Yu, I immediately think "you go, Yu."

[@WhitzWolf92]

"Oh, don't. Every joke, every pun, done to death, seriously." -Daniel Jackson

[@Marinealver]

The Jaffa have the worns, the Go'uld are an energy based lifeform that makes them hard to detect. They use human host because they can repair their bodies and luve for a very long time.

[@Underworlddream]

I remember that from the movie but they change that for the show. I have a theory that the worm goa'uld are the less evolved basically the equivalent of a scientific uplifted monkey that served the higher more evolved goa'uld and the energy Goa'uld are those that ascended or at least partially ascended. Like we have Ra and his entourage managing to possessed people by energy rather then worms, where the Goa'uld lords that served under him are the less evolved Goa'uld that needed a parasite. I got this theory when I saw the ancient artwork of the Goa'uld in the movie look like a Grey rather then worms but with a Goa'ul split mouth and see them possessed people by energy.

[@joelkreissman6342]

The Jaffa's armor seemed to be effective against bullets in the pilot (not the original movie where they didn't have armor). I read somewhere that SGC switched to armor-piercing rounds when they started using P90s.

[@chromesucks5299]

That happened in like season 4, by that point the jaffa were already a joke

[@saqwana25]

Ba'al fucked the timeline like twice.

[@oliverb.9121]

so they are basicially every asset manager ever

[@Porphyrogenitus1]

Great fun video lol - recently found your site looking up BSG stuff and subbed and this is the first drop after I subbed. I never really watched Stargate (dunno why, just didn't) but wow. Crazy villians.

[@lieps2547]

the hardspace shipbreaker ost ya used for the outro is soo chill space trucker in the house

[@Darlf_Sevil]

one importand thing: they know evrything they mother know, like i understend why thry culture have hard time to change, they where primitive cave worm and now they are the same but in new worm boddy. alos do nexst Tok Ra

[@alexanderbuchan533]

Let's all be real honest, the reason the Goa'uld became such a joke is for the sake of Earth's plot armour. How does an empire of nigh immortal body snatching parasites, who have been an interstellar power in the galaxy for tens of thousands of years, get toppled by a fraction of the military might of ONE major power from a SINGLE planet with no (significant) interstellar power projection abilities to speak of? Simply put they don't unless they are hit with the worf effect. This is also why alien powers such as the Tollan and Tok'ra are A) so reticent to give Earth any advanced weapons* and B) so bizarrely incapable of achieving anything on their own without Earth's help. If there were other major players opposed to the goa'uld who were competent...Earth and the SGC would be quickly relegated to the role of bit players in a much larger galactic struggle. *Personal conjecture incoming* it never made sense to me how a faction as ruthless and desperate as the Tok'ra would have a problem pumping earth full of weapons and technology as part of proxy conflict with the Goa'uld. During the Cold War this was the primary way the USSR and USA 'fought' each other; by arming the enemies of their enemies. BUT as I've said, this would cause the SGC to seem like proxies of the Tok'ra...can't have that now can we?

[@Sinapus]

The Tollans, IIRC, did have a legitimate reason. They had given their technology to a lower tech world in the same solar system their homeworld was in. Said world blew themselves up and the shockwaves managed to wreck the Tollan homeworld. So... yeah, they weren't all that eager to try with the Tau'ri even if O'Neill promised they wouldn't blow themselves up.

[@GuardianSage]

Sounds like a perfect start for a parallel universe spinoff.

[@stubbornspaceman7201]

Something I find funny about Anubis and how he was apparently so terrible that even the Goa’uld considered his actions horrible. Is that it reminds me of ex-inquisitor Kryptman in “If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device” and how he was quote “banished from *the inquisition* for being *too cruel.”*

[@UnknownPerson-lq8gy]

I think you are locked into your body feeling. Admittedly it could be more case by case basis for the goa’uld.

[@everfire6002]

Steve still eats better than most of us.

[@fatherwi11iam71]

This was great! I love stargate lore, I am hoping you may touch more upon the tokra.

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Btw: AnnoyBus "End" is the Punishment for Oma Dessala, handed down by the other Ascended. She was running around, helping random guys to ascend. She helped Analtubis too! The other Ascended got REALLY TIRED of that shit and as such, enabled Anchuvis to domall his ditty crap. They could have easily stopped him as a group. But they did not. They wanted Ohmyy to clean up her proverbial sh+t. So the ascended let him run loose, forcing Omaha Beach to engage him forever in IMORTAL KOMBAT, so they got rid of both Antilopis and The Whicked Witch. Both now out of the diner. I absolutely LOVE the sheer amount of old man pettyness that requires.

[@ryank5424]

At the risk of triggering a rant 😊. It might be possible that because they kept every culture they knew of (and not already more powerful than them) at a stone age level. That they didn't have much need to innovate for those 15,000 years I will admit that you'd think a new ship class would pop up a few times.

[@azrael1045]

The host remains, your are locked in

[@IAmTheAce5]

I’ve been waiting for Media Zealot to make an episode on these bozos for ages

[@mechwar31]

In some ways the goa'uld are like Mechwarriors. Many mech warriors develop certain eccentricities, psychosis or even a full-on God complex. And who can blame them, in their battlemech they are a big stompy God standing over the mere mortals of the battlefield. A goa'uld is just a snake piloting a meat mech, lording over the other snakes.

[@Darlf_Sevil]

first of all: DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT ABAUT YO he was pretty nice. alos in lore he actualty created most of the culture in his territories on earth, or at least developed it

[@JMDahl1964]

Yes another great way to unwind on a Friday night

[@techticianlarsproductions6180]

Oh I was watching your Battletech stuff, didn't know you actually did Stargate as well hell yeah

[@mosser-wm3dx]

You forgot to mention the effects of the sarcophagus being the main contributing factor to their meglomania. Making the Tok'Ra different due to them not using the device.

[@NeoakiraIV]

Anubis was so evil that the system lords were like yeah no we can’t have this that’s too evil even for us

[@alancarnell2747]

I know Sobec was an alligator because he was Black Adam's villain once. He ate Black Adam's sidekick. Just bit him in half and went from there.

[@t4rv0r60]

Lets not forget: they can ultimately defeat Baal only through time shenanigans, killing him before he gets the chance to clone himself over and over again.

[@xenon_413]

Quick note, furries aren't about wanting to do stuff to animals, there's a different word for people that are but they're illegal, gross, and I think hit the auto comment censor. Could question where they draw the line for 'Is this human enough or too much like an animal?' but there's definitely a line, sites got rules and such. Enough furries are either ace or kids trying to find more ways to express themselves that I think it's just a general 'art thing', but 'art thing on the internet' so there's gonna be some overlap with people being weird about it.

[@gerritvandenbosch4681]

I'm concerned your not an actual Stargate fan with how many facts you got wrong.

[@MrChupacabra555]

4:08 As much as I liked the series, I did find it strange that the heavy armor the Jaffa were wearing wasn't as effect as the kevlar that our own troops wore into battle. I think later on they said that SG Soldiers weapons had 'Naquada' tips to help penetrate the better armor the Jaffa had upgraded to, so back to the same effect. To be really nerdy: In a way, its the same with Mind Flayers (Illithids) In Dungeons and Dragons. All of them are 'born' with Genius Intellect (18+), and their entire society is built on them being the Bestest race in all creation, including each other. So of course one reason their empire can never rebuild is that various 'clans' are working at cross purposes, and people within those clans are back stabbing each other to lead it.

[@MM22966]

You gotta admire how Stargate always found some new way to make the Goa'Uld even lower and more evil than they already were. I mean, they were a star-spanning militaristic empire that routinely bombed planets flat and wiped out whole civilizations, took slaves, imprisoned people in their own bodies as hosts, all born as pathological psychopaths rivaling Hitler ...but it was a real "wow" moment when Danny and Jacob/Selmak found out they'd started eating their own young to prolong their lives.

[@Galactus78]

I like the suggestion someone had about the Goa’uld was that they were never truly sentient and operated on a highly evolved form of instinct. They could only imitate and never truly create their own culture or technology.

[@jstalk1]

You should do an Asgard version of this video

[@Winterydee]

Slide at 2:35 has some typos.

[@j.claus.2914]

If I recall, weakly, Ra ate the former emperor to show dominance

[@paulrobertmarino7623]

Wasn't the use of the sarcophagus in at least a part (not the whole but a contributing factor) of why the system lords were so dispicable? The sarcophagus extended the life of both the symbiote and the host but if used habitually (which many of them did) it would have the effect of corrupting' their mind making them more selfish, prone to violence, and narcissistic. There was an episode where Daniel used it multiple times and it started to corrupts him, and he started acting more like a system lord even though he didn't have a symbiote, and in that same episode Sam stated that she had a memory that the toc-ra didn't use it for that reason.

[@jonathonrodriguezthomas6457]

It's hilarious how the Goa'uld are essentially great dictators on a galactic level who are immortal, unstoppable, and all knowing so long as their opponents and subjects are dumb enough to not try to challenge them. It was honestly a godsend that the replicators held the Asgard back because otherwise they would've curb stomped every system lord

[@mariosoto2588]

I loved this show it was my favorite when I was a kid

[@jacara1981]

Ba'al was so awesome. Sad that Cliff Simon died. I always wish that he would of become a long time villain/antivillain. Just going into the other series he randomly shows up with some plot or another. One thing you missed is that the Goa'uld have genetic memory which is very strong. So the children of a power hungry insane parent, will also be just as power hungry and insane.