Why I don't have many friends

Friends are such an important part of life. However, for me, its all about quality over quantity. Being selective means that I spend time with people that add value to my life, but still allowing time to be alone to recharge.
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[@guidedbysunshine333]

I’ve found it overwhelming to be around groups or crowds of people for long periods of time. The energy of the world is too much for my soul. I much prefer one or 2 people I enjoy the company of ❤

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing! 😊💚

[@maryannscanlan7819]

I am a kindred spirit!

[@buntysvintageemporium3632]

Absolutely agree.

[@stevethomas74]

I think there will be a lot of virtual heads nodding in agreement on here 🙂

[@HTHTNT77]

I’m with you!

[@andeebee2530]

When it comes to friends I definitely prefer “Quality over Quantity.” Love my alone time too 💕

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Agreed :)

[@katbobski1593]

I must admit, i prefer the company of most animals to most people. But i'm nearly always friendly towards everyone i come into contact with, because it's nice to be nice.

[@Paintspotsandpaper]

Absolutely! You get unconditional love from animals!x

[@dorothyeaston3393]

This is such a comfort I always thought I was a bit of an oddball because I didn't like parties or gossipy coffee with lots of people. I am 74 and very contented with my 2 dogs, 8 bantams and soon to get a Ragdoll kitten. I am never lonely and most weeks it's a few words with postie or checkout girl when I do my weekly shop. Thank you Molly, a kindred spirit. I think social media Facebook, mobile phones Instagram etc all contribute to loneliness in the young today. No verbal interaction or physical company, just words doesn't make a healthy population.

[@newworldlove7031]

Ditto!! As an HSP/Empath I need less people in my life and loads of alone time. I suffer from awful social anxiety and in my 20/30's I seldom socialised with anyone at university or in London at work. Now days in my late 40's I have less than 4 friends that I choose to see in an average month! I just dont want the bother of too many people in my life making demands of my energy. I actually choose to be single as so many men have let me down. Cats are my main friends currently!

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing! Furry companions are a great comfort :)

[@Danika_Nadzan]

I agree with everything you've said here, Molly. I make a distinction between friends and acquaintances. I'm 64 and retired, but had jobs that required me to deal with the public or groups of people I didn't know...they may have been very nice, but they were acquaintances and drained my energy for the most part. I am lucky to have had a handful of very good friends for many years...they understand me, support me, and leave me feeling energized, whether it's getting together in person or by phone conversation. I am pretty much a hermit, but I've never been lonely. With the exception of those few friends, I prefer the company of myself, my cats, or nature. And I also agree that having a like-minded online community is delightful as well...I may never meet you and the others in person, but knowing that we share many similarities is heartwarming and comforting!🥰

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing lovely! I'm so happy that you find value in this community :)

[@jameslynch9457]

I'm your friend. It's a one way friendship and just on-line but you put to words what I feel and experience. I love your walks, your short talks and your vegan ideas. Thanks. Jim

[@Paintspotsandpaper]

I’m 68 and agree totally, I’m happy with a few friends I’ve had for years, some from primary school, my dog, my art, nature and sometimes my partner who luckily is very much like me 😂😂🥰🥰

[@catherinemurray1618]

Friends... I don't have many. Two friends, though I look at my partner and my family as my friends 💗

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thanks for sharing!

[@TJ-kz1ul]

Hello, thank you for sharing. I have no friends. I have my husband and my two almost-grown children and my precious animals. Throughout my life, I have made very bad choices with friendships and always end up letting people mistreat me, use me, and just generally not be a good friend to me at all, which has caused me so much heartache through the years. I am so much happier to live like this. I work part-time and have some very nice coworkers that I enjoy spending time with, and I am quite chatty with some of them. They would probably be shocked if they found out I live pretty much like a hermit outside of my job.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

It sounds like you are living a life that is just right for you :)

[@hayleygrimston51]

Having a severe hearing loss from being a child I've never been good at mixing with people .school was a struggle .unfortunately I didn't have the encouragement from my parents.now as an adult I shy away from mixing in big groups going out for meals etc.I'm happier being at home. I have one friend who I see maybe once a month she's understanding of my hearing loss and I feel safe being out with her. I'm much happier in the company of my family at home . Take care.X

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing lovely 💚

[@obiblooze5902]

I am so like this, I have about 3 close ish friends and I really couldn't cope with any more. I have to have alone time, it's when I'm happiest. A lot of people don't understand it, but I've got better at saying no and not feeling guilty. In fact if someone cancels on me, even one of my good friends, I'm usually relieved 😀

[@hippyhighlandliving]

I'm the same! I love cancelled plans and saying no has gotten easier 😊💚

[@TJ-kz1ul]

I understand you very well =)

[@obiblooze5902]

@@hippyhighlandliving 💖

[@obiblooze5902]

@@Betulaaah so true. I just don't want to compete with loud people and most people seem to be loud 😕

[@GK49245]

Introverts of the world unite! 😂 You described much of the way I feel. Thanks for sharing.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you!

[@buntysvintageemporium3632]

Indeed😂.

[@liberatedlioness6478]

I have a very, very small circle. I too love being alone.

[@writethroughtheheart]

Most of my friends have fur, scales, or feathers. As for the humans, one or two at a time is plenty. I hope to one day live somewhere more remote, like yourself, a big city is hard on this nature-loving introvert.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

They are the best kind of friends!

[@cathylynnpietranton]

Thanks Molly for sharing. My husband and I don't have friends. It more like acquaintances. We like peace and quiet and maybe be around no more then a group of 6.💚

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing lovely :)

[@elizabethkelly9039]

Thanks for this video. It is making me think. I have only a few friends, but come from a very large family. I prefer being alone, and have a very hard time interacting in a large group of people. I am struggling with spending time away from home this summer for my nephew's wedding and my granddaughter's first birthday. There is a 3 week gap that makes it impractical to return home. I am trying very hard to not say "Sorry, I can't come" but instead find a way to fill time between with enough alone time to recharge.

[@elizabethtipton3929]

I just told my sister today that I wouldn’t be coming to my nephew’s wedding in May. For me it was a big step in self care. I’ve always tried to do “the right thing”, but now I’m operating from a more authentic place. It’s still hard, but getting easier. Sending love to you as you ponder what’s best for you❤️

[@hippyhighlandliving]

I completely understand. I hope it goes ok and you manage to carve out some alone time to rest :)

[@_missreverie_]

Happy weekend love, i relate on so many levels. I am the same. Recently I was upset by a sibling (extroverted one) being forceful over an invitation to socialize with people I do not naturally want to socialize with. I'm never lonely with my own company or the family cat and a few other people in my life. I am at that age where I have finally accepted myself and do not appreciate it when other loud people dictate how I should spend my time! Love your vlog in nature, keep sharing :)

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing lovely, I'm so glad you enjoyed! 😊💚

[@lovelyenglishnature3277]

I’ve always hated being in big group of people but the good thing about getting older is that I don’t feel bad about myself. I’ve realised that group conversation is usually very boring, with everyone taking turns to say something funny. There’s no proper connection. It might be better to look for slightly older friends as lots of people in their thirties haven’t yet realised that a normal job is awful and they’re still very ‘earnest’ xx

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Good observation! 💚

[@Daytona2]

What a wonderful community you've created by putting yourself out there, Molly I'm happy that I have acquaintances rather than friends. It wasn't until I was 40, that I realised that I'd repeatedly been the target of narcissistic abusers, who are drawn to quiet people like me, like moths to a flame.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing 💚

[@amyh1045]

I’m very much like you. The summer of 2020 was the most peaceful summer of my life. I have people I love and missed, but I’m very comfortable being on my own.

[@obiblooze5902]

Oh yes, I loved lockdown 😀

[@annarawicz]

agree. only introverts could appreciate the gift of lockdown 🙃

[@Anita-rq9ev]

Very interesting topic Molly. We live in a world where it's expected to be "loud" or extroverted. It feels that they are more seen. I do relate, I too need lots of time alone to recharge and I also think it's important to have friends who add value to your life. Life is too short for the wrong ones in my opinion, but each to their own. Thank you and have a great week 😊

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you lovely, you too! 😊💚

[@stevethomas74]

The world (certainly in the West) seems to be very much made for the extroverted, which can definitely impact us mere introverted mortals sometimes. But it's an amazing world none the less and there's plenty to celebrate and be grateful for as you are well aware I'm sure 🙂 I do concur with everything you said btw. I think the comments on this video pretty much speak for the types of people who gel with this type of content! 😁

[@Anita-rq9ev]

@@stevethomas74 👍

[@Jwhitedesertflower]

@@stevethomas74 hi there, I lived 10 years in developing countries & they are extremely social people as well. However, family & extended family time, which comes with it's own issues to navigate or religious events are valued. In Asia, where I lived for 8 years, I noticed people loved to get together; go out & eat together, do trips together, do karaoke, work on setting up special events together which becomes more than just work. Not necessarily drink together. In Vietnam not many women drink or smoke or even drink coffee! Social gatherings tend to emphasis the collective, the group, keeping it positive, a light hearted fun rather than the individual talking at you about themselves & their problems.

[@katiegrier]

I actually am not sure I have any close friends. That sounds horribly depressing but I’m actually a very happy person. I am always surrounded by coworkers, or I’m at church with a bunch who know me and we’re all friendly, I have a husband who I call my best friend, and I have my kids (12,17,19). Going out to lunch just one on one with a “friend” terrifies me. I’d much prefer to stay home, be out in my garden, or spending time caring for my chickens. Sounds pathetic but it’s what I prefer. I love just being at home. It’s safer, quieter, and cheaper! 😊 I’m very new to your channel and fell in love with you immediately when you spoke about being a sensitive person. I can relate to you 100%. Love watching you and Sky together. She is a beautiful dog!

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing lovely. It doesn't sound pathetic at all! 💚

[@roseslavender7844]

I've been an introvert my entire life. However, seeing others around me with large friend groups and constantly going out, made me feel like I was missing out and the few friends I had were not 'good enough' for me (how shallow - I know). So I put myself out there... formed a large girls group, attended a bunch of instagrammable outings/events, only to realize that this lifestyle burnt me out and that I didn't have a genuine connection with most of these ppl. Now I am grateful for the few authentic, long term friends I do have, and have learned to embrace being in my own company without feeling like I should chase after more. Thank you for this lovely message and video, so cozy and wholesome.

[@ursulamelia7136]

I totally sympathise. I only have a few close friends, but that’s absolutely ok. I think the interpretation of what the word friend’ means is really dependent on culture. I grew up in Germany where a friend is a really close person. When I moved to the UK I think lots of people were very perplexed when they asked me whether i had made friends yet and i said ‘no’. I think what is now seen as a friend is the German ‘acquaintance’. Stay true to yourself and you’ll be just fine!😊😊😊

[@terrydenton8267]

I feel the same way. I'm an only child, and growing up in a rural area, there were no other kids my age nearby to play with. I was content playing by myself. I was also extremely shy, but I did have a couple of close friends at school. It took a long time to get over the shyness, but now as a much older adult, I still have only a few real friends.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

I can relate as a fellow shy child :)

[@judithrussell9162]

I’m like you in that I don’t have friends in groups and honestly, that’s the last thing I would want. I do however have a lot of friends who are not friends with each other and I love spending time with them individually, it’s much more meaningful to me as it’s possible to speak deeply, though not necessarily seriously. I don’t like small talk though. I am also rarely lonely and quite happy alone. I think I’m a pretty typical INFP

[@hippyhighlandliving]

I agree that having one of one time with friends is really special :)

[@efortunywhitton]

Same. 😊 I enjoy small dinner parties (4-6 people); have few friends. The only time I am actually lonely is when there isn't a lot of nature about... so the only thing I get lonely for is nature; and in this increasingly damaged world, I have noticed that this does take a toll on me. In otherwords, it is more-and-more difficult to find places that have nature, wildlife, etc. I also enjoy my own company; books (lots of books); gardens... NATURE. Hugs! x

[@hippyhighlandliving]

That's so interesting, I can completely relate! X

[@lenalootens5625]

I need a lot of allone time too. Nice video⚘️🪻🌷 Greetings from Belgium💝🌹

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you :)

[@davidthescottishvegan]

Hi Molly, hopefully you are having a lovely Sunday. A fantastic video and beautiful scenery on your walk. Love 🥰 the video and love 💕 Molly.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you! 😊

[@donnarakitzis2719]

As I got older I have only kept friends that add value. I dont like drama or needy people who can be very self centered

[@drobbins678]

I am much the same way, I have a few close friends, prefer smaller groups of people in social settings rather than large crowds. Recharge daily with walks, biking or skiing in nature. Best regards to you.

[@thescottishtravelcouple]

Totally relate to this Molly. I don’t have a large group of friends as I enjoy my own company and would happily spend a day off on my own doing my own thing. When it comes to friends I think it’s definitely quality over quantity. Great video and beautiful scenery you capture. Always look forward to watching. (Pamela)🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💕

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you lovely!

[@TheEmpressgoth]

Thank you! I am uncomfortable with large groups too.

[@joelle3135]

It makes me feel so nostalgic seeing these parts of Scotland. We visited Scotland every year when I was growing up. I lost my mom about 18 years ago and it was her favourite place in the world. She was only truly relaxed in nature and we visited most of the Lochs in the Highlands. I miss the area so much! X

[@kated5159]

I’ve always felt like alone does not have to equal lonely. I value quality over quantity when it comes to friends. I like to be social now and then but I’m definitely 3/4 introvert 1/4 extrovert.🙂

[@nicktozie6685]

Lovely, a lot of us feel the same.

[@janiem912]

Just catching up on your old vids I haven’t seen but really resonated with everything you said! I’m Scottish living in London for a long time and hope to return to Scotland at some point, I miss the slowness and quiet so much these days in my late forties now x

[@kimneely4034]

I love spending time on my own & always have. As a only child, I am use to my own company. I have 5 good friends & value their company when we get together. I totally understand your sentiment & thoughts.

[@hazelp1831]

Great video! It's the same for me. I actually feel quite uncomfortable in larger groups and am also an introvert. I can definitely relate to loving being in nature and petting an animal, especially our dog. I was quite and shy at school with a very small group of really good friends and that's the way I liked it

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Its quality over quantity :)

[@marilynpease8782]

It was interesting to learn that you were home schooled. I have a friend in Texas who is a scientist that decided to home school her children because she was afraid they would not learn about evolution and other factual scientific discoveries. Some in the American south are hung up on creationism and other fairy stories. I’m an introvert too and love your videos.

[@slackjaw4270]

Over 50 percent of all scientific paper results cannot be reproduced by their peers. Evolution is a theory. Almost no one has the time, energy or curiosity to investigate what is passed off as science.

[@buntysvintageemporium3632]

I totally get it. I have a few Trusted friends which is enough for me. I get overwhelmed by people and find it draining. I work in the Ambulance Service. I love my job, but I'm glad to get home and spending time with my wee Pug Bunty. I live in Scotland too.

[@thehoundhedgehoghippie7346]

Oh my goodness, just found and instantly fell in love with your channel 💚🍄🌻🦔🐾

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Aw I'm so glad you found me! 😊💚

[@athollmcnicoll1028]

Even Introverts if they have an animal that is close to them, then be you a he or a she your never alone. As close animals especially dogs that are tuned into your inner being can react and measure your thinking , good or bad. And cats, well they have their own measure of human interaction as they will come and quietly lie in your lap and purr, even when you are sad and feeling lonely, they know something is up. Incidentally I am 70, single and class myself as an Introvert and Covid took 26 good friends and left me unbalanced.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses 💚

[@melaniehealy7230]

Hi Molly, I'm so glad you did this vlog to talk about how important friendship is, however, it's not everything and it doesn't mean individuals who prefer time quiet and alone are any less boring but that are own company can be very comforting. I was a shy child like you and always had 1 or 2 really close friends & then in my 20's I went through a shift of having too many friends and now I can probably say I have only handful including my fur friends and I'm OK with that.

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Its interesting how it changes over time :)

[@LibbyWithnall]

I'm an only child so am very happy by myself as well. I used to have a lot of friends as a child and my hubby has been around since I was 14 🙂. As I've gotten older (now 51) I don't feel any need to have friends. I think having online friends and a youtube channel to feel connected with other people helps. My only real-life current friend I've known since I was 5 - we met in kindy - but I don't even chat with her very often. I do have my puppy friends 🙂

[@user-qw5ls8pw1u]

I only have 1 friend and that's all I need 😊

[@kimzijl4135]

Hi Molly, I am recently new to your channel. But loving your videos. It's nice to see others with the same interests. I can relate with not having a big group of friends. Spending time alone in nature with a furry friend makes me happy. And I apoligize for my English writing I'm accualy from the Netherlands. Have nice week and enjoy a good book!

[@hippyhighlandliving]

You're writing is wonderful! I'm so happy to have you here :)

[@SlowDescentToWild]

There's a great quote from a film where someone asks 'don't you ever feel lonely' and the reply is 'only around people' and that sums me up as I get older. I have my amazing wife and 3 dogs and that's all I want or need really. I do occasionally meet people that I find interesting and get on with, but the nature of my life is that those meetings are fleeting.

[@ourhighlandhomestead]

Just discovered your channel today so i am catching up :) I'm just up the road from you, in a very remote location (just as I like it!) I moved around countless times as a child, including abroad, and my Dad was also a teacher. I've been in Highland for 15 years now and I think overall I would say I can count true friends on the fingers (and thumbs) of two hands. I am from a big family but I don't enjoy large social gatherings or big groups of people. I am what I think is described as an extroverted introvert :) Ps I have done many craft events with Angus Grant and I too love his work.x

[@user-bd6bl4ty2m]

Yeah, the same here, when I was young I had many friends but in the end I found out that the most important thing to become the best friend of yourself, then you'll never feel lonely anymore and you'll never be attached with people so feel free like a falcon flying alone in the sky.

[@stevethomas74]

Hey Molly 🙂 I have 2 friends around here, but I'm perfectly fine with that. At least now. That wasn't the case when I had to move from Essex to Shropshire in late 2010 to stay with my late parents, before becoming a full time live-in carer for them for nearly 10 years. All my close friends are back down South and for the first few years or so, it was really difficult (and lonely) for me up here. I always used to feel lonely a lot as I've been single practically all my life bar a year collectively-speaking. But it's only in the last few years since I've gotten older (I'm 48 now but still feel 28 ha!) and having gotten into daily mindfulness meditating and gratitude practising that I've fully embraced my 'alone-ness'. And as an introvert and a bit of a homebody, I really genuinely relish being on my own and having my own space. 99% of the time it's ideal and then 1% I definitely need to be around good/like-minded souls. And as I mentioned recently in one of my other comments on your videos, I'm a keen walker and I'm in a few walking groups. so this satiates my need for occasional socialising, as well as ticking off the boxes for exercise, seeing new places, meeting new people etc 😃👌

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank for sharing your story! :)

[@stevethomas74]

@@hippyhighlandliving Thanks and any time 😎

[@conkodo]

This channel creates such a wholesome online community for me, it's easy to think that I'm one of the only people that think the way I do and get discouraged but seeing online content like this is affirming to me that I'm not alone and provides me with some hope for living a slower paced life in the future.

[@elizabethtipton3929]

I just wanted to thank you for your recommendation of the book, “Digital Minimalism” . It has been such a support of my natural inclinations for solitude, along with your vlog.❤️ The strategies for discernment and getting off of social media have been so helpful. Thank you!

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Oh I'm so happy to hear that! Good for you :)

[@nikkifangaiuiha6081]

Im the same lm happy with my animals more then friends,l have afew good friends but l love my alone time the most,Thanks for another Amazing vlog 😊❤❤❤❤

[@michelleadams2997]

I’m exactly the same as you I think, I prefer close group and feel drained when too many people are around. I thrived in lockdown, I guess I’m just a bit of an introvert. I love my pets and my own company. Loving your channel btw

[@zenjenagain]

I desperately need alone time to sustain. However, I always wished I could find a couple of close friends who understood my personality and needs as an HSP and introvert. I have a few friends but have never found friends or partners who understand me and that does make me feel lonely. I’m trying to get better at sticking to my boundaries and accepting that I may not find those friends.

[@jim_dubhglas]

Hello Molly, I appreciate your videos and can really relate. So great that you have made Scotland your comfortable home and that you have Skye as a wonderful, loyal sidekick. I'm on a similar page in life and seeking a similar existence. 3rd generation Canadian of Scottish decent (from near Oban), hoping to find residency and my latter half of life in the 'old country.' Scotland is bliss if you have the mind for it. Sliante!

[@hapijojo]

I really related to a lot of what you said. I definitely prefer 1-1 rather than group socialising. I just get super overwhelmed by all the energy I think. I also rarely feel lonely, I do feel isolated at times but that’s different I think. It’s hard not to compare to other people who have large social lives, and I think a part of me would’ve liked to be that person too, but I love my downtime at home with my cats, a hot water bottle, and watching your wonderful comforting relatable videos. ❤

[@hippyhighlandliving]

I'm so glad you take comfort in my videos 😊. Sounds like you are doing what's right for you 💚

[@veloworks9266]

Hi Molly, how lucky I am to know you and for our friendship ❤ Personally I do have lots of close friends but most from childhood/school/uni and I think this is mainly because I lived in a city as well. I really struggled at first making friends when I moved to Scotland and have a smaller but really special group of pals from Scotland . I think I like both ways! Sarah x

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you lovely! So grateful to have you as a friend ❤

[@adventurouscampers]

I am the same … I know how you fell , my best friend was my dog , I am upset now because is passing away…..😢

[@mtnshelby7059]

It's amazing how many claim to have "no friends"...except for their partner, adult children, parents...😂

[@morganelova]

For some reason, it is sometimes quite hard for me to accept that I don't like big social events and having a lot of "friends". I'm 23 and I'm always advised to see more people, to go to events and everything. My boyfriend is my best friend and he is the person I spend the most time with and sometimes I feel bad about it because... "I should have other friends". But I'm slowly learning to not think too much about it because the most important thing is to have a good time and to feel at ease!

[@mariegoocher4338]

I like hiking on new trails with groups and the Meetup app is great for that, but when I meet a group of friends & acquaintances at a bar or restaurant, I carry car keys and credit card in a pocket and scoot out when I get tired. 😊

[@enkeli9031]

💓💓💓

[@WanabeHippie]

Do you find the social interaction at yoga classes exhausting? I prefer a large hall and lots of people in the class which allows me to get hidden, and escape at the end without getting overwhelmed.

[@nicolex435]

Love this video ❤ don’t you feel unsafe walking in such remote locations on your own?

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you! Not really, but I have had a lot of experience doing it and always put safety precautions in place e.g., know how to navigate, tell my partner where I am and carry a charged phone :)

[@MentalManasulo]

Hi Molly, such an interesting topic, although I do have many friends I find it overwhelming to socialize on a regular basis so I keep it to the minimum, thankfully my friends understand my preferences and be there for me always. Out of interest, how do you make sure to carry all the photography gear on your walks(imagine you are shooting on your own), would love to see the behind the scenes :) thanks

[@hippyhighlandliving]

Thank you for sharing! Yes I do film by myself, but I've chosen a lightweight tripod and camera (linked if your interested) so it's not too bad 😊. I'll maybe do a behind the scenes at some point 💚

[@Sassygrannyvlogs]

🤎

[@ruebennomura9143]

You should try to make friend I want to become your friend too

[@stephanmedlin7323]

slightly antisocial. its a thing now.