How I stopped comparing my life to others - success should be re-defined

[@farinaca]

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ― Zen Shin

[@jmk1962]

Love this quote.

[@pauliinap.]

one of my favorites!

[@lakemichigan6598]

Wow. I like this.

[@missyrooibostea]

Thank You for the quote' my heart is more at peace after reading it...🙏 🌸

[@susanmutten2811]

Beautiful

[@reneepasich]

I have recently turned 65. The past three years have been full of devastating loss (my husband, mom, dad and sister). In the process I have lost who I thought I was. I am really struggling. I find your channel to be a momentary glimpse of peace in my very unhappy world.

[@justme8101]

I'm sorry you've had such a huge amount of loss. Bless you dear one

[@cathylampshire1140]

Please know that you are not alone Renee. I am sending all my strength and peace your way.

[@luckygirlz99]

I can very much relate, I lost my grandmother and uncle in the beginning of 2021 and lost my boyfriend later that year, in September. We grew up together, I am currently 22 y/o and we had been dating for 6 years. I realize now that I am not fully sure of who I am outside of our relationship, and the way we used to spend our time is how I spend my time now. It's strange, and I feel lost 90% of the time. I am very sorry for your losses. I think it's normal to feel lost since I think family, and those closest to us are like a mirror within ourselves. It's tough to reallocate the energy put into being a wife, daughter, and sister into something else, but I believe you can use that energy to discovering who you are deep down and meeting that person with open arms. Sending you lots of healing and strength.

[@ionegrimm1203]

Life can be so very difficult. I pray you have a support system you can fall into that will let you be you at any given time. You aren’t alone. God is always with us.

[@FaithyandOtis..Massachusetts]

I am so sorry Renee, I lost my brother at 38 yrs ago it was devastating.. I lost my childhood sweetheart my husband in 2014. my parents have long since gone. I am 70 years old. Somethings you just don’t get over, but you somehow go about the day.. you never forget but it does get easier over time. I have a wonderful dog that I adore I got him when I retired believe me he keeps me busy♥️ I have a deep devout face in God, and I go to my Baptist church and do the finances there. I have a great support system that’s very important. Again I am so sorry for your loss🌸

[@marymaza2187]

I loved this part: "I didn't want their lives. I wanted the happiness I believed they possessed." That's so true! We feel other people are happy by what they have around them and see them smiling... But we don't really know what goes on behind their closed doors.

[@micheleann6099]

So true!

[@isabelmonday]

yes ❤️🙏🏼

[@pavithraherath4664]

The ones who showcase their so called happiness are the ones who haven't found real inner happiness.

[@Diego-np1up]

Nose Ken serás bro

[@maureenlewis4300]

I really enjoy your ideas. I so wish I could live in the country.

[@bndergltd3053]

“Comparison is the thief of joy” is a quote I use with my son when he gets upset when he compares himself to others. It’s so true.

[@pativi6643]

It's funny, because my mom was always comparing me to other children. It's so interesting how our childhood and relationship with our parents, or its lack, influence who we are as an adult, and what we will struggle with.

[@h.e.r9368]

Sounds like my grandma sometimes the resentment is still there

[@jillmcginnis4763]

I worked so hard to go up the corporate ladder I was one step away from the top. I found out I had stage 4 cancer. During the treatments I wondered every day why I didn't enjoy things more instead of the struggle to get to the top. I've made it longer than they predicted but one thing I've learned, enjoy everyday be kind to those around you and don't take one moment for granted. Thank you and our friends who follow you for all the life enriching conversations ❤ I love you all...

[@anastasiahicks9451]

What a beautiful message... it really touched my heart! I hope you are blessed with many many days full of love and joy ahead!

[@OscarWilde1124]

Thanks for these beautiful words Jill...stay strong.

[@secretagent86]

good luck, miracles can happen

[@antonatin9771]

My prayer goes to you💙💙💙

[@mapensee5606]

I pray you feel better and recover soon. You are blessed . My love to you.

[@aminajalabi3709]

As a mother of an autistic child, I learned the true meaning of love and happiness from her. She is just happy the way she is without comparing herself to anyone. I wanted her to be different in the beginning of our journey. I wanted her to be a(typical)person but it’s me who needed to change and not her ❤️

[@dididahye3586]

Thats so beautiful, thanks for sharing

[@joannalukaszuk2260]

that's beautiful

[@casioamplifier]

Seems like you watched that Netflix show atypical

[@farhiafarah6954]

Who iam is who iam.extly

[@My_name_is_moona]

She is so lucky to have a mum like you

[@TheCottageFairy]

Coming from someone who dreamed and dreamed of living in a place in nature I loved, when I finally got the opportunity I remember thinking “I’ll just be happy now” - but, at least in my case, it just doesn’t seem to work that way. If you haven’t done the inner work, your old feelings creep up on you (and yes, this kickstarted A LOT of persona growth, as I was very disappointed in myself - it’s still hard to admit here). It shocked me when I found myself worrying over losing my home, and upset at changes happening in my valley that I didn’t want. I still struggled to manage my anxiety. Natural disasters happen out here often, my home could burn down, stressful things exist everywhere, difficult people, and fearing an unknown future in the arid parts of the west. I thought a new location would resolve my own anxieties in regards to life, and it just didn’t do that for me. If anything, it was a slap in the face, a loud message of “you need to learn to live with you, and enjoy that interior experience. No place will resolve that.’ While I understand our environment has a great impact on us, and that certainly we all romanticize other lives when we are in a tough spot, I do believe that interior journey can take us to a better place. It takes time, and it isn’t a magical cure. It helps us to appreciate our path, work towards finding a place that is safe and that provides our basic needs. And then cultivate that deeper self and purpose. I am still on that journey, and I have to admit that the best thing I ever did to be content with my life is to volunteer and reach out to other people. Help my community. It puts everything into perspective ❤️ and connects you to others and helps you see we are all in this together. I’d love for this to be an open conversation, because I certainly don’t have all the answers - I still continue to learn more every day, and appreciate where I am in my journey. I continue learning how to best love others, be proud of their success as well as my own. Success is something we need to define for ourselves if we truly want to find that good place (at least, that is true for me). In my limited experience on earth I have come to believe that sometimes we compare ourselves to others (and are far too critical of our failings) because we are yearning for an emotion that we need to cultivate within us. Maybe it’s confidence, self-love, or feeling proud of ones life no matter where you are on your journey. This isn’t the case with everyone who dwells on comparison or jealousy, but I think it is for some of us, at least. Constant comparison is a symptom of our emotional needs, and perhaps it’s worth changing the pattern of dialogue in our minds to begin to fill that void. We all have patterns of behavior, and even comparing ourselves to others too much can be a pattern that negatively affects us, blinds us to appreciating our own journey, and making us think that if things were only different, then we’d be happy (As if it is out of our reach, instead of something we can choose to begin cultivating).

[@paperart4708]

May I know the plants book name you reading in video please. Thank you.

[@paperart4708]

I love the way you talk in your video … beautiful like real life flower speaking ..Beautiful face 💕💕💕💕

[@TheCottageFairy]

@@paperart4708 Thank you very much ❤️ It’s just a catalogue for ordering seeds for my garden, from the Territorial Seed Company based in Oregon. Wishing you the very best

[@shenequadupree6539]

EXACTLY, I LOVE WHO GOD HAS ME BECOMING AND LEARNING SO MUCH ON THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE. I JUST MOVED FROM A BIG CITY STATE TO A SMALLER STATE, LOVE IT, THE PEACE, I THINK AND HEAR GOD'D WORDS SO CLEARLY NOW. BLESSINGS TO YOU ALWAYS

[@paperart4708]

@@TheCottageFairy omg thanks so much I didn’t expect you to replay really …… Love to see more of your videos with you speaking.. love you face moving … real life fairy 🧚🏽‍♀️ 💕💕💕👍🏾👍🏾

[@sactownstringsalatestarter4982]

“Unhappiness is purely the result of comparison.” -Soren Kierkegaard

[@GirlsintheHimalaya]

That is so true - I dont want the lives that others have, I just want the same happiness and feeling! I spent a long time struggle with my choice of life, since many of my friends from college went to big companies and seem to have a great life in the conventional viewpoint. But I just feel like I cannot be like them. My passion and joy are channelled elsewhere - in the nature, in the spirituality of ordinary and traditional living way. And that doesnt mean I will achieve less in my life, the outside doesnt count, the inside feeling of happiness counts. So I moved to the land of Tibet and live in a rural village, a very surprise choice to many of my friends. It ends up really well, I feel like when I finally follow my intuition, I can trully see and acknowledge my own value, I stopped comparing with others, and find real peace in my heart. That is such a great experience. Thank you so much for your sharing this week!🥰

[@phyllisharries2742]

How lovely, I wish you happiness in your new life and admire you for following your heart ❤️

[@GirlsintheHimalaya]

@@phyllisharries2742 thank you so much

[@marian9866]

Amazing ! Wishing you all the best. I have always wanted to travel to Tibet. Just subscribed to your channel :)

[@GirlsintheHimalaya]

@@marian9866 OMG thank you so much! I hope you are very well.

[@madeleinerecknagel3457]

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I think you are not alone... i spent too much time thinking what I should do with my overpriced college degree, with which I have never felt connect too. I love being connected to nature at all levels. I love our community garden and the feeling it gives me. Sending you love to Tibet! Following your own intuition and heart is the right way to go.

[@itsmejanny]

In Zen it is said, "The more you seek rest through doing, the more restless you become." You are fortunate to be learning such wisdom at such a young age.

[@nicoleohara1797]

Comparison is the thief of joy!!

[@carolm.d.6967]

I love this phrase, I can see the reflection of my life in it.

[@outdoorhannah]

so so trueee!

[@a.katherinesuetterlin3028]

"Comparison is odious." -- Wm Shakespeare

[@judyt.5702]

Truth. That is a lesson i have learned late in life.♥️🌄🌻

[@joegriffin3001]

You are so right

[@rebeccastone3301]

I know it’s EASY to say, “Don’t OVERTHINK things.” But, in reality, for a person (or child) who questions many things in or about life … is a sign of high intelligence and great AWARENESS. Thinking there was something wrong about you or your lifestyle is what brought you here today. There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong about you. There’s everything absolutely CORRECT about you. Distract yourself with all the beauty around you. Love … and be Loved

[@joyberly4409]

Thank you. 😊

[@11Renee11]

Thank you. I needed to hear this today.

[@jonkennedy6595]

I always had that tendency to question things and I felt that something wrong with that

[@melanieapel3595]

This reminds me of something very wise I read the other day, in relation to wanting what someone else has. "The statement, 'I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad', has been one of the greatest realizations God has given me. Every situation has both good and bad. When I want someone else's good, I must realize that I'm also asking for the bad that comes along with it. It's always a package deal. And usually if I'll just give something enough time to unfold, I can often be found thanking God that I didn't get someone else's package."

[@ShaliniNegi24]

so perfectly put ❤

[@returnoftheromans6726]

I needed to hear this. Thank you!!!

[@jennifergaver1239]

Very wise. Easy to forget this. Thank you for the reminder.

[@HomeHunter-in-Moscow]

I didn’t even know such life-style exists nowadays! It’s soooo peaceful, calm and reassuring! ✨

[@alfonsoreynosa8143]

It doesnt unless we create it

[@HomeHunter-in-Moscow]

@@alfonsoreynosa8143 so true!

[@elevationview673]

I have been in tears this week, and my grief for my wife still overwhelms me even after 2 years. My solace is watching cottage fairy videos that lift my spirits. Thank you.

[@claralewis9574]

Sending light n ❤️

[@outdoorhannah]

So sorry for your loss, its so good we can all have a sense of calm by watching Paolas videos.

[@WeEducateAndTutor]

😔im so sorry to hear that

[@lindagreene6437]

Peace&Prayers to you, time will dry your tears & comfort w/ precious memories of the years you had together.. lcg

[@user-cy9vd7rl4h]

"What is grief, if not love enduring?" I'm sorry for your loss.

[@catherinecorn7182]

You never "find" happiness, you must INTENTIONALLY create happy inside yourself.

[@timlaporte5231]

Absolutely wonderful message and images, Paola. It's funny to say but in telling us about your pets shedding at a seasonal change made me think, we as humans should consider doing the same. Rid ourselves of old habits that are not relevant to a happier existence. They may have served us at one time, but it may be time for a reexamination. Thank you for what you do.

[@outdoorhannah]

oh my gosh, yes, we should! but how does one do that? writing, maybe? leaving some stuff behind / on paper. shedding words. something like that..

[@a.katherinesuetterlin3028]

@@outdoorhannah In my own journey, I have found that cutting stuff out that doesn't serve my higher purpose isn't just a "once and done" proposition. As Paola has said, the journey isn't linear. I can personally attest to the truth of this. We may want an old habit gone just like that, but it can take a while to make the changes necessary, owing to the way human brain wiring is, evolution-wise. As to how one might start such a process: I have found that various forms of journaling can reveal both unhealthy patterns as well as where I want to be -- the healthy patterns I want to cultivate. Sometimes I "free-write" stuff on my laptop, and sometimes it's in a spiral notebook of some sort, and sometimes I track things with a bullet journal, and then write my impressions of how I am doing in either the laptop or notebook. But that's me. You do whatever calls to your soul. Just remember that like cultivating a garden, changing your life takes time. There's no way around it. But as it is often said, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. 🤗🤗

[@glennapartin4096]

@@a.katherinesuetterlin3028 l

[@fizzahmehr5956]

U have power to shape ur pwn reality

[@_SomyaY]

I stopped being jealous of others, by recognising, that whatever they achieved, they worked for it. And obviously, with a stroke of luck, everything worked out. Luck comes to those who prepare for it. And just let it stay a while, every river has its own path, spem go through forests and some go by temples. But it works out, they all got brought their life. In a few years, you realise, what you actually wanted, was not what you were doing. And then you work from there.

[@Vipzy1]

This hits so close to home, I was almost brought to tears. Thank you for talking about these topics, you are an inspiration!

[@Macon-xh5ik]

Yes Indeed 😍 she is an inspiration...love it.

[@outdoorhannah]

she inspires me so so much. I love to binge watch all her videos when I need a sense of calm

[@frankcrespo1161]

Get off social media people 🙄 😴 😒 🤣

[@chirrlwhatley297]

It's a G Thing Frank

[@bettybveleztorres4031]

I absolutely agree 💯 , I dealing with the same actions in my life. But I do want to write a story book of my life one day I will inspire others around the world. Thank you

[@paulinecallahan6888]

We always think the grass is greener on the other side. When I was younger I always thought if I could graduate from a certain career it would bring me happiness but 25 years later I have realized you have to be happy within yourself . You are enough just by being you. ❤ Thank you for the reminder.

[@Zinbin15]

I remember having the same realization in high school…. That I didn’t want to look like someone else, but I wanted the confidence and peace that I perceived in other people. I still need that reminder today.

[@gwen9620]

I feel as though, I am watching a young Beatrix Potter. Artist, lover of nature and creator of beautiful things. xo

[@tammydietschweiler7852]

I’ve been sick going on 7 years and it is very difficult to accept. I don’t compare myself with others, but I miss my health. The most important thing in life is our precious health, before anything else in life. 💕 It must come first.

[@nawaroukhouy5836]

Life can be so very difficult it's up and down we must prepare ourselves to manage and pass all the obstacles. I pray you to have support from doctors and friends you can fall into to give you good health and mood. You are not alone God is always with us.

[@tammydietschweiler7852]

@@nawaroukhouy5836 Thank you! Not much has changed although I have new doctors and hope to relieve some of the pain from my health issues. I take each day as it comes and always feel God will guide me to peace!🌸😊🌸

[@nawaroukhouy5836]

​@@tammydietschweiler7852I'm very happy to hear that you are well, Sure this is a hard time for you but it's temporary only, One day that will be just a memory and hard experience, “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes around in another form.” ― Rumi May Allah help you

[@foamandfog3112]

As a freshman in college, the past few months I’ve felt myself all over the place. I didn’t quite know what I wanted to do, and being a stem major it was hard seeing all my other stem friends who knew exactly what they wanted to do. I am an artist, first and foremost, and In a world of absolutes such as that of stem I’ve been feeling very lost. A few weeks ago, I discovered your channel. I don’t know what about your videos has helped me so deeply but I finally feel that the never ending buzz of anxiety in my head has finally began to quiet down. I’ve been working hard at my studies, but after, in the calm tranquility of night, I paint. I’ve been collecting and drying flowers, painting and sketching deer and small blooms, and reading as much as I can. I’ve been able to take a step away from my laptop, and while I wouldn’t say that I know who I am, it definitely feels like a start. Sitting down and just watching the warm shifting tones of your videos, and hearing your calm dialogue, has been such a blessing during this busy semester. I truly, truly thank you for the content you put out there. It’s helped me take a step back, and figure out who I am.

[@phyllisharries2742]

Best wishes for your future, you will do well for sure.

[@txspacemom765]

Keep feeding your soul.

[@sangeetarsoubans]

happy for you

[@deadinside8781]

I feel lost too except that the things I love doing, I can't get to doing them because it hurts. Like I'm afraid to feel good because it doesn't last and I feel bad every other time. I really hope you're happy and healthy for many years to come.

[@a.katherinesuetterlin3028]

Maybe the question you might want to ask yourself is 'Why am I in a STEM major when my soul wants art?' Too often, we find ourselves bowing down to what our families or society think we should be or do. We let external influences in so much that we lose sight and sound connection to our souls. It's time for us all on this planet to decide what we want based on our soul desires and not what we get told to be or do. Look within, and your soul will always speak loud and clear. You have taken some good steps towards listening. Keep going. 😁🤗

[@niyu4218]

Oh man I did this too many times.. Other women got married, got babies and I was struggling with my masters degree and my job. I felt unhappy and unloved. I compared my life to those people because I thought they were super happy . But I recognized that they had other problems and struggles.

[@mutmainnahin9680]

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@mr2001]

“Dear YOU, don’t compare yourself to ANYONE. Your Unique Self is empowered, powerful, and unstoppable! Your uniqueness is what makes you incomparable! Don’t underestimate the beauty of just being YOU.”😊 ― Stephanie Lahart

[@susanmutten2811]

That’s lovely

[@MerriHome]

❤️

[@rejaneberclaz3331]

Exato!🤗

[@janemwanu6228]

Exactly

[@morethanamess1980]

Thank you so much for sharing this ❤ 💗

[@rajexecutivemoreedthaniasi6971]

Excellent post Title "How I stopped comparing my life to others - success should be re-defined. Others should learn from you.

[@frederiquedelage1831]

"I didn't want their lives. I wanted the happiness I believed they possessed." You should copyright this sentence. I could write and talk endlessly about it. This is SO SO true. More than half of humanity want to be / or have other people's lives because they believe that they are better or happier than theirs... But when you scratch a bit, you eventually see that they also have problems and that our own life is good as it is :) It also is SO calming and appeasing when we make the experience that happiness is unique to everybody and ourselves. A massive thank you from Toulouse, France for your word and wise words!

[@Tonggg123]

I think comparing ourselves to others makes us unhappy. When we're annoyed, we often compare ourselves with others. It's true.

[@chebbiereadsandknits672]

So true. Comparison takes away our joy. Reminds me of the quote, “Be the best you. Everyone else is taken.”

[@JlucaCoder]

I'm in love with a scene with a bunny hair on the cinnamon roll. :) It's adorable! Everywhere in social media we see perfect relationships, bodies, jobs and so on. They seem ideal only because flaws and imperfections are deliberately hidden from us. But truth is that there is always something like this bunny hair in reality) The fact of including this small imperfection in the video is so cute and so brave! Appreciate your humor and naturalness

[@RaviKumar-pp3pr]

you are very beautiful ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@MinyTheWild]

I haven't commented on a youtube video in about ten years, but I love your videos so much I feel like I HAVE to tell you. I'm studying to be a barrister at the moment (for those not in the UK - those lawyers with the daft robes and wigs) and totally relate to being a competitive student. I'm doing 50 hour weeks and still feeling like I'm not doing enough because I'm not the best of the best. But this course has helped me realise that I don't have to be. I can have a career and life that I love without 'beating' everyone else. This has been really difficult for me to accept, and I've been watching your videos whenever it gets too stressful. You've been such a great help to make me slow down without feeling guilty about it. Thanks so much

[@carolewalker2486]

As an English woman who has lived out of the country for many, many years, I had a laugh at the word you used "daft". I haven't heard the word in years and I am not sure Americans would understand it but it brought back memories for me. Thank you.

[@sammyakmohite]

The breaks you take between your dialogues makes it phenomenal to continue watching video. Really it just doesn't allow us to get distracted even for a second. Hats off to your story telling and filmmaking. Keep spreading the love ❤

[@swetha3103]

You have no idea how much this is helping me. I was caught up in a narcissistic abuse where he made my life seem small and insignificant to the point where I started questioning my reality and became nihilistic. It was the scariest place to be. Now I am slowly finding my way to the person I used to be. A person who was totally accepting and choosing to be content with what she has. Yo videos has brought me so much peace. And am slowly learning say that I am enough as I am,

[@peggygilbertsen9099]

“comparison is enemy of joy” …. I love your message of positive self talk. Thank you.

[@Godwinpounds4333]

Hi 👋 dear , how are you doing?

[@ХыуБаоВыонг]

I like your calm voice. I often talk silently in my mind with myself and I hear this voice talks to me from inner world.

[@mymateabhi7521]

To the incredible person that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life are in your hands. Keep pushing.

[@PeachesSkinCare]

Good Morning 🌞 This was so beautiful! Forgive me if I have said this before but I have always told my children, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I find this helps when you stop to remember you are here to find your path and your journey. When we compare to others it simply brings us down and takes away the joy. I say this with what I do, that to many women especially are changing who they are or fearing the journey of age and life and they are all starting to look the same, frozen faces and big lips and more. All because they look at social media or the beauty industry and they continually compare and don’t realize their uniqueness and beauty. Embracing who you are and the beauty of your life will make you happier. Stay in the moment and when you start to compare or go down that hole, simply stop and think about 3 things you are grateful for. At 56 I realize the time in my life wasted by comparing and being envious or upset I hadn’t achieved something that was not my path. I do have goals and I do strive but above all I remain grateful for the life I have and the experiences that are mine. Blessings 🍑🧡🙌🏻Lisa

[@cmf0627]

Beautiful! I too see life through spiritual eyes & know that everything is for my highest good! All of life's lessons are here to teach us!

[@PeachesSkinCare]

@@cmf0627 Amen🧡

[@pammoore3447]

So well said. Thank you

[@PeachesSkinCare]

@@pammoore3447 Thank you for your kindness. 🙌🏻🍑🧡

[@reneepasich]

Paola, look at this beautiful community you have helped create! Thank you! And a big thanks to my “friends” here who have left such comforting and thoughtful words. We are so blessed.

[@Vipzy1]

As a 2 dogs owner, I laughed and related so much to the bunny hair garnish🤣 off topic but have you ever thought about how much fur we eat unconciously? Ahhh the prices we pay for being happy animal moms💖

[@TheCottageFairy]

Hehe! Whenever I make dinner for my fiance and he finds a dog hair in it, he thanks my dog for being so thoughtful to put extra protein in his meal! We are all looking out for each other here 😂

[@Vipzy1]

@@TheCottageFairy you gotta love the extra protein and their🐶🐰 efforts on keeping us well fed🤣 ain't nothing going to waste in this house

[@mysticmom616]

I live with cat hair on me and all that I own and likely a lot that I eat!😂

[@GIZMOCHEYENNE]

Or spiders while we sleep. Or our own hairs! 😆❣

[@jeremyryan656]

"Be Yourself, everyone else is already taken" Oscar Wilde

[@jred1838]

yes, I heard your message of not comparing and being happy within your own skin. BUT, can I just say I LOVE you hair!! You do inspire me to be content and love myself and surroundings. I actually painted a nursery painting for my daughter's new baby room. This was inspired by my son who was visiting and bought canvases, acrylic paint and brushes and said, "Let's do something creative and each paint a canvas". We ALL said "I can't paint", but persistence on his part had us looking up Pinterest ideas and low and behold, they were great! It was a wonderful time of bonding and something very personal for our new loved one that she can cherish in the future.

[@arianahoule7223]

How delightful. I'm sure the love in the painting will bless all who enter this room.

[@jonothandoeser]

I've always thought that Paola could be a model if she had wanted. She's so beautiful and stylish.

[@ShadeCandle]

I relate to this so strongly, the envy, despair and self-loathing that comes from comparing ourselves to others. It's truly wonderful that you've learned this so young. It's funny, I was once a happy introvert, but in my mid-30s I have found myself increasingly lonely, and idealizing the lives of the extroverts I see parading around in their jovial groups... and yet I know that when I try to be that kind of person, it's a harsh self-abandonment that leaves me emotionally devastated. I hope to find my way back to a peaceful acceptance of my nature, but I sure am lost these days. That said, your channel is a beacon of light, a reminder of the beauty in solitary existence. I've been enjoying your videos for the past year or two, and want you to know how grateful I am for the work that you put into them.

[@jessicatoussaint9140]

I love you embrace your journey. How healing through your ED and growing is so beautiful. I come from a lot of childhood trauma/abuse. I plan to move out as my environment is not conductive to my growth mentally. But I know that when I do leave behind the toxicity and abuse, that a new place won’t magically cure my problems. My traumas will be a part of me no matter where I go or what I do. Healing the inner childhood wound will be a life process and will take effort. I plan to always prioritize my mental health as I know I will need to to live

[@lakemichigan6598]

Many people who go through trauma like you repeat it with their own children. You've been subject to a very traumatic & painful education - but through all this, you have been taught the lesson of exactly what NOT to do in the future to the people you care about & love. So please, take this education to heart. Go out there & change the world! - it is essential to your healing.

[@amberhawke]

Do see a counsellor if you can afford it. Our daughter went through some trauma, and the police detective told us to get her to counseling as soon as we could. I truly believe that because we acted swiftly, today she is a bright, happy energized college teenager, her scars have been healed (or at least minimized.)

[@a.katherinesuetterlin3028]

I am so proud of you for these steps you are taking to move out and really start healing. Sending you hugs -- from someone who has been there. 🤗🤗

[@katerinakucharova3221]

Hello BEAUTIFUL fairy, Paola! You are WISE beyond your years...wiser than many old people. An INSPIRATION, a JOY to look at and to listen to. May GOD bless you always in JESUS´ name. Amen. Lots of love from Kat in England, UK X

[@simbajohn1882]

Life becomes alot less stressful when we stop worrying about what other people (except family) think. When you reduce the amount of people in your life and have a few select friends, it seems to enlighten you in many ways.

[@Atilah1]

You know you make me think twice about my life, feeling that life is not about what we expect but it's about what we live everyday❤❤❤

[@nealsterling8151]

It's important to recognize who you are as a person and live accordingly, instead of trying to be someone else. It's hard to find someone as young as she is with this kind of wisdom. Sending much postive energy.

[@Jwaydanofficial]

It's hard because we're deeply sensitive people that prefer to keep our wisdom and lives to ourselves but there are many of us out there :) I think it's just that we don't like to share because we're very protective of our energy and space 💜

[@bink865]

One must often learn this lesson repeatedly

[@tushartyagi6398]

By listening you, I feel you are beautiful not from outside but inside also

[@phyllisharries2742]

Dear Paola, everything is beautiful about you, your handwriting, the beautiful valley where you live, the way you cook, everything! Life is confusing and it good to hear you discussing how you are coping with all the issues it brings. You are amazing. Sorry to hear about your dog!

[@thequietlittleteacup]

I love this message. Achieving one’s goals isn’t what you expect it to be. I am quite a perfectionist and I always try to do everything at once but I often overwhelm myself. I really do have to try everyday to just take one step at a time and enjoy each moment as it comes. It’s funny because from the outside I feel as if people see me as quiet calm person who’s always content but on the inside my mind is constantly spinning with all the ways I could possibly improve EVERYTHING! I’m still learning on how to be fully in the present but I’m also still aspiring for my dreams. I believe this combination is key for a life that is both fruitful and filled with contentment.

[@morethanamess1980]

You described my exact feelings PERFECTLY

[@thequietlittleteacup]

😉

[@thequietlittleteacup]

😉

[@ATreat-lt9kh]

This is so relatable. As someone who frequently compares her life to others, tends to set her worth according to credentials, cherishes a simple life yet often wishes for something more, and struggles with an inferiority complex despite having no real desire to change herself, it means a lot to hear the perspective of someone who has managed to overcome a similar situation. Thank you for sharing. 💚

[@aihposnovember1155]

I'm currently in that phase and it is truly hard having your own mind breaks you down. But seeing that we all struggle with this gives me hope to continue and to strengthen my faith with God.

[@joangillen1260]

Thank you 😊 You truly are an inspiration to this 75 year old woman, who is constantly working to improve myself. 😊

[@nairbvel]

My poor niece (7th grader) is a perfectionist and is also a member of a competitive dance team. I've been working with her to develop the idea that she's in competition only with herself, no one else -- and that by competing only with herself, as long as she shows up there's no actual "winner" or "loser" in the room. If she doesn't get straight A's in school but actually learned something, then that's fine; if she doesn't "place" in the competition but feels good about her performance, then it's all good. She is slowly (oh so slowly) coming around to truly accept that idea, and we've been able to see her anxiety over certain things slowly easing and fading. It's far too easy for us to get caught up in "keeping up with the Joneses" and showing the world our worth by measuring it only in relation to what we've gotten/done in relation to what others have gotten/done.... that whole "he who dies with the most toys wins" philosophy. Thank you for (another) wonderful video -- I plan to sit down & watch it again but this time with my niece in a couple of days. :-)

[@nihar4713]

Wow this hit home, I didn’t want their life , i wanted the happiness i believe they possessed, i have been so hard and cruel to myself

[@arismukti2531]

Ive been recently broke up with my girlfriend, as a broken home child. Its feel really painful since many people including me thought she was my second home. Your channel really help me someway to calm me down and tell everything gonna be okay. I hope for everyone find their happiness eventually.

[@ronnie0573]

God Bless you 🙏

I saw one of the bunnies there! ❤ I want to let you know that when you send your good wishes at the end of each video, they come through as incredibly honest and heartfelt in a way it’s rather rare these days. You are an incredibly beautiful person. I wish you a beautiful day. ❤

[@leelanikolopoulos2902]

Thank you so much for inspiring us, little fairy ! it''s true! The butterflies will start appearing soon, along with the bees! The birds have already started their courting chirping early in the morning! Still cold, but the signs of Spring are multiplying by the day! Love from Greece!

[@amberhawke]

And so will the mosquitos and ants! 😀

[@choudharysahabmusic3513]

Only those who don't compare their life with others are the ones truly free. Otherwise we are not living our life, cause we compare and try to be like others

[@katarinayon]

The moment I earned the highest respect for my teacher was when she said "Just be yourself. Yes, you should have a competitive mind but don't turn it into something toxic. Compete with yourself. But the most important thing is to just be yourself."

[@OlgaSinkevich-t1e]

Dear Paola thank you very much for your sharing. It is really important not to lose yourself and support yourself as well as you can. Your words about internal dialogue deeply resonate for me. Unfortunately most of us are our own worst critics. You are right - leraning our patterns and traumas is a path but not a jump or switch.

[@niknoks6387]

You do you Paola, that’s the best advice I was given, I kept comparing myself to other teachers. I feel a lot more happy now I don’t teach, my creativity has returned, slowly but surely. I am learning a lot from you, especially from your sweet tooth 😉. I love this channel. ❤️🇬🇧

[@simmichawla1176]

God! Your channel is so refreshing, you actually don't realize but you are sending very peaceful vibrations ,strong but peaceful . That one should always love the life they are given or make it nicer by your own efforts. A bit late in life but gradually i am trying to find my own happiness

[@FrancescoCaraArt]

Today was a really hard day for me, I had so many bad thoughts that I felt suffocated. I am an artist and today I am not satisfied with my artwork that I have done, I have not been able to paint in any way. This made me question my abilities so much. Thanks Paola for this video, it warmed my heart and made me be less hard with myself.

[@alysiam3559]

Your art is beautiful! God definitely gave you a gift!

[@FrancescoCaraArt]

@@alysiam3559 thank you so much for your kindness, your comment made me feel better!♡♡♡

[@maglan8]

is there anyone love her quiet and soft voice like me ?it's so enthralling 💚

[@lalobausa2851]

So true Paola. I was older than you when I finally realized I like myself and would not want to be anyone else. Sending you blessings❄🌲

[@andrewschaves6016]

Hello! I discovered your channel not too long ago. Your videos are beautiful and very well produced. I'm from Brazil and I've been watching your videos on studying English. His slow and paused speech helps me a lot to practice "listening". I wish you and your channel much success. A big hug! See you! 🇧🇷 😊🥰

[@Leon_K_24]

“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today.” - Dr. Jordan B. Peterson God bless you 🕊

[@nelzg5819]

Her life is sooooooo beautiful. I watch just to get a taste of it. Such a beautiful life

[@madisonkiesel3910]

I’ve got to say, I love your videos! They are so calming and relaxing and like a miniature film every time 🤍🥺 you’ve inspired me in so many ways

[@TheCottageFairy]

❤️ Thank you so much

[@jacksmancave170]

Sometimes being content is better--easier--than being happy. I've found that trying to be happy can be tiring sometimes. And that makes me unhappy. I've been through travails, as have we all, and now, in my old(er) age, I'm generally content, with bright bursts of real happiness that come more from my relationships with my friends, my children, and my grandchildren more than from a need to have this, do that, etc. You have so much wisdom, drawn from personal introspection, and it makes me think more about who I am, where I'm at. Thank you.

[@phyllisanngodfrey6137]

You are such a gentle, artistic soul and very sensitive. I am 71 years old and life has kicked me around a bit. I have had periods in my life of extreme stress and very heavy responsibility. I have always had a strong faith in God and I suppose that got me through. I am retired now and well beyond those earlier years. I am somewhat jaded by life, but I think that is just part of growing up. By God’s grace, I never doubted my ability to cope with it all. I “enjoy” life more now. I appreciate the little things and people a lot more with more time and less stress. Life “is what it is”. You just take it as it comes. They say ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. My best advice…..Hang in there, find joy where you can, give what you can, but don’t be afraid to ‘ take’ when you need to. God gave you all you need to be what He created you to be and to do what He acted you to do. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

[@EvolvingWithGregAndLea]

Paola, it is some of your sharing thats rebalanced me these past few days. I sold my whole life, bought an RV, traveled the PNW (we loved WA), but settled in CO. Then when we settled, we got jobs. But then this year (2024) I quit that job to start my passion, to Help Humans Heal through life coaching them to see their power in themselves. Id been going really well. Until... 6, yes six people who share this field of coaching, and do so beautifully, began to "speak" into my life. I had asked them all to! For they were successful, spiritual, supportive. But i began to compare my beginnings with their decades. I began to think i couldnt be successful if i didn't do their ways, ideas, suggestions. Almost a week into this deep sadness from feeling lost, overwhelmed, frustrated... because it wasnt ways i wanted or was really ready for. Then one day one of your videos began my realignment. ❤ It took many steps. Most of those removing five of those from my life, for now. (Ill def return when im ready for their great insights!) And returned to what amd why i began this journey. But a few of the moments were some of your peaceful, calm, return to self insight videos that were part od my reset. I dont know where my path could take me. But i am back to enjoying the journey. 🥰

[@nancybrown2700]

It took me many years of reciting the "Serenity Prayer" before I came to the realization that the goal was simply to obtain Serenity. Always seeking that which that gave me the most serenity in every moment became the path for me to Iive my best, most productive, and contented life. Your videos are truly serene and add greatly to my day. The juxtaposition of your artistry and your bunny makes me smile and makes my heart sing. Thank you for gracing us with your serene thought-provoking and beautiful videos.

[@juhibansiwal6678]

I think you're living the life I dream of everyday. You're truly blessed.

[@kima260]

You seem to have a special way of awakening things in people. Thank you for your soft and tender kindness. Kim-

[@Maloud24]

You are so true in what you do and say. Real gem on youtube. Good to have you

[@amyblaine7624]

You always somehow manage to deliver the right messages exactly when I need them. You’re only a few years older than me, but I look up to you a lot. Your level of love and compassion towards everything and everyone and yourself is incredibly admirable.

[@1888starz]

Being a woman one always feels a little unsure as we live in a world that says we must be perfect. But the older I get I realize life is more about accepting your individual uniqueness and just being who you are without any pretences. I am grateful every day to see the sun shine, the birds go about their days flitting & chirping their happiness, life is beautiful if we give thanks. The world is a beautiful place to be in. Hugs

[@torreycat7716]

I love what you said… “Life is a forward and backwards [dance].”

[@ピッピ-e4p]

It is somewhere in aging process, learning who you are and not like others. It is so much struggles in the youth but learn to cope with yourself and accepting.

[@azzeyamaepadua1053]

"This is enough. I am content with the way things are." ❤️❤️

[@gabrielcaratihan3912]

I just discovered her channel very late. She is pretty and I may not know her highs and lows but she's living a pretty life!

[@shannonchristine1426]

After being paralyzed in a car accident, I always compared myself to other people and their lives. Thank you for talking about meaningful topics! Also, if you like, “How To Be a Wildflower”, maybe you should check out, “How To Be a Moonflower”, by the same author. After just discovering you in the past month and binge watching all of your videos, it’s safe to say that I’m a good person to recommend you books seeing how we have nearly the exact same taste in literature lol.

[@birgitscholz8849]

Dear Paola, thank you so much for your inspirations and gentleness. I am facing a lot of anger and conflicts at the moment. But watching your videos reminds me of my higher self and helps me to find back to more friendliness inside myself. Thank you so much ❤🙏🏼🧡 Tara

[@cherylgoff8955]

Contentment is the magic ingredient ❣️ thank you for sharing your thoughts and peaceful activities 🙏

[@feronipanjaitan9044]

I have wasted my time comparing myself to other people. Living my life to fit with the community I live in. Thank you for the reminders.

[@kathrynmacelhiney5087]

"It's so easy to be hard on yourself when you know who you want to be." Wow, thank you. I caused myself stress today doing this. But...tomorrow I will be better! Thank you for your videos.

[@ildiko1vt]

😍your mature philosophy and being so insightful...but you are such a gentle spirit, a creator that needs the freedom to express your truth... lovely music you choose too! Got some seeds in the mail here today too! Yes, the robins have arrived in VT, and more snow is coming our way by next weekend. Where will you garden if you are moving? too bad about your doggie stinking up the house! Was it a skunk? or a dead animal? OUCH!

[@alanlawrence2954]

You have gone to the top of my list... of the nicest, most wholesome lady I know on KZbin. I love gentle soothing, articulate, voices. I also adore artistic people and picturesque environments. I'm a professional artist, or was, I write and storyboard for my own pleasure these days. I'm twice divorced and, like you, currently live on my own in a two-bedroom apartment. Retirement means I can do what I like, when I like. No boss on my back, no art studio deadlines to stress about, no wife nagging me to cut the grass or find a boring job to generate more money... that would be spent on futile knickknacks - frippery I don't need... Stay happy, keep smiling, keep posting.

[@uschis.4045]

Thank you, Paola for your constant inspiration. Before I came online today I made my own candles and I also made some natural whipped body butter from organic butters and oils. After cleaning the kitchen I made myself comfortable on the couch to watch your weekly video. And this is when I realized how much I already got inspired by you! I love how you do your tasks totally focused. You not only mix some dough together ... you prepare a nice cup of tea first and light some candles. You make your space of work cozy and enjoyable. This is the most relaxing time of the day when I just start with one thing and find myself occupied for hours with creative ongoing, forgetting daily life for a bit. Sending you love and hugs from Malta, the tiny island in the midst of the Mediterranean Sea in the South of Europe.

[@peggyfreeman8873]

Oh Paola, you are so blessed. You’ve been and are such a blessing to others. It takes many of us that are older to realize how blessed we were when things we simpler and without oodles of things. When we enjoy the beauty around us that God created we are rich beyond measure. 💕🇺🇸

[@Michelle-pn9xt]

Success does not need to be redefined. Everyone has one life to live. Each person has to decide what success means to them. When you do that, it will be redefined for you.

[@shannonchristie-wickham8453]

You put this beautifully and with just caring and kindness. It is hard to be kind to oneself . Thank you for inspiration. I am 54 and just figuring out how to love myself and know it is OK to be content where I am. To resist the pressure to achieve more and more. I received my lovely order from your shop last week and am so excited to have one of your creations!

[@julienelson8162]

Thank you for your gentle reminders of what really matters, and what does not. Peace, my friend.

[@Existentialnausea]

I love watching you cook. I hope you'll do more of it in your videos. I can just imagine how heavenly your home smelled, with that cinnamon. Cinnamon evokes so many pure memories for me. I was strolling through Target yesterday & wandered over to the book aisle. I looked over to the cookbooks & lifestyle books & for a moment, I was looking for your book.... your book that isn't out yet. I hope one day, you'll do a lifestyle book with various crafts that you do. You are so splendid to watch. ~ Heather

[@annanorris1646]

I appreciate your gentle words..you feel like a wise young friend in a world so full of superficiality . Thank you.

[@feylights166]

When I was in college, I thought when I graduated, everything would kind of...fall into place, and I would be happy in my career. That...hasn't happened. Instead, I find myself in jobs I hate, and I have been feeling like life is passing me by, but I am trying to focus on what matters to me.

[@szabo50]

I don't know how I came to be here but it is the most comforting, peaceful place I have come across. If I ever have to quiet the raging wild horses inside me, I come here and feel settled and calm.

[@persephonel2117]

Your life is really everything I dreamed of as a little girl and beyond. I was an artist too and wanted nothing more than to settle down in a cottage surrounded by green things and animals one day. I was obsessed with fairy tales and daydreams. In high school I succumbed to drug addiction though, and it led me down a ten year long destructive path that I deeply regret ever going down. Living in a big city, slowly forgetting who I was, and I lost my creativity too. All for some small fleeting escape. I am doing good now. Been clean for several years and have two amazing children. But it’s hard not to compare all the time. Constantly thinking about how my life would be different or better if I hadn’t taken the path I did. How much more I would have to offer my kids. All the things I could have been. I’m now approaching my mid-30’s and I struggle with this everyday. Constantly feeling like can’t appreciate what I have because I’m constantly aware that I could and should have achieved so much more. I hope it’s not too late for me to find my peace. Your videos really inspire me to connect with that inner child, that dreamer. I want to make her proud and create a life for myself that she would love.