Why I Had An Arranged Marriage (20 y/o) | Chit-Chat Ep. 4

I am back with another episode of chit-chat video where I talk to you guys in English. Following this month's theme (not really), I am here with my arranged marriage story, more specifically on why I chose to do it. I hope it can be an epiphany for a lot of you!
✨Come say hi!✨
✅ Instagram / ​​
✅ Blog www.zhafiraiha.com​​
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Halo semua! Nama gua Zhafira, seorang mahasiswa tingkat 4 di Osaka University, Jepang. Saat ini gua sedang berkutat belajar membalance mengerjakan skripsi, magang, aktif organisasi, dan menjadi istri at the same time. Minta doanya agar gua tetep semangat yaa!
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Timestamp
00:00 Introduction
01:24 Context: why I wanted to marry young
02:55 Reason 1: Open and honest process
04:22 Reason 2: Straightforward process
07:31 Reason 3: Expansive process
08:53 Reason 4: Sacred process
10:47 Some reminders!
#ArrangedMarriage #NotForcedMarriage

[@Zhafiraiha]

Salam all, what else would you like to know about arranged marriage? 😆

[@baevina]

The progress! From the first meeting until the d-day😬🤗

[@ladycleophila7775]

Apa yang dulu ngebuat kakak yakin untuk menikah waktu dijodohin?

[@akunqonita]

Kalo untuk doa/sholat istikhoroh, di step ke berapa? Apakah stlah ortu dan anak sama2 stuju atau sblumnya?

[@fathiyahkhairunnisa3356]

Apa aja yang menurut kak zha harus diomongin saat taaruf scr spesifiknya?

[@nisawiradhika4758]

Pas proses kan pasti punya ekspektasi dari ngeliat cv dan setelah interaksi langsung. Gimana klo pas nikah ternyata dia jauh berbeda dengan info yg kita dapat selama proses arrangements?

[@bloominjune2456]

Finally, found a "muslimah" that can spread the value of Islam without exception, and not "hurting" any other parties. Your words are beautiful. New subscribers here!!

[@mokakuma7329]

muslims loves arranged marriage for some reason

[@harismuda139]

So many muslimat like her and values in Malaysia and Indonesia.

[@Mantappupe]

@@harismuda139 oke

[@sinbadtu4300]

Marriage is about sex. To make halal a woman's private parts. So all marriage is arranged. The man must be attracted to the woman. Arrange marriage is just another way of hooking up theough another in this case yr mother. Arrange marriage is NOT forced marriage. A man like you so what not to like? good sex hehe.

[@sinbadtu4300]

When I was in university all the malay girls were told in arab islam culture, marriage is about making faraj halal through akad nikah. No micing with men. So they have to go through a married woman to be introduced to a man. Some guys were successfully married to the newly hiba girls. I suppose I could have one or two or three as polygamy is encouraged too if I wanted but they were not attractive enough to my eyes.🤣🤣

[@livelife2324]

All the things that were right about this; 1. She already had experience with being independent 2. She was financially independent ( this I think is the most important one, cuz no matter how religious a person is there is no guarantees about a person, and being able to support oneself is so important) 3. Her family respected her opinion 4. They took into consideration their life goals in the future This is not for everyone. I wouldn't want to be in a marriage that is essentially loveless. My parents marriage was like that, it had respect and responsibility but not essentially feelings. They are together for the social need for someone to take care of each other. But she mentioned so many right reasons for her decisions and showed so much maturity for her age.

[@Honey-yp8lp]

Love can also be built and grown. Love can be a doing word and not just the initial feelings that you get when you meet someone x

[@imanimalaika7734]

It is interesting that women marry a men with high incomes, and learn to "love" them.

[@Honey-yp8lp]

@@imanimalaika7734 A lady I did a photography project originally from India had a arranged marriage - and she really opened my eyes to it. Neither of them were rich/wealthy, they grew together, working hard and both now work as doctors as parents to two children

[@Mantappupe]

@@Honey-yp8lp kita satu Tim Oparasi Fbs

[@sinbadtu4300]

Marriage is about sex. To make halal a woman's private parts. So all marriage is arranged. The man must be attracted to the woman. Arrange marriage is just another way of hooking up through another in this case yr mother. Arrange marriage is NOT forced marriage. A man like you so what not to like? good sex hehe. Of course you must like the man too physically. A loveless marriage is a FORCED marriage which you confused with. You can divorce later if you don't like the man. Or the man can divorce you later if he had enough by saying talak. Simple.

[@athtanadia9586]

Aku mengalami beberapa keraguan akhir2 ini tentang pernikahan, mengapa orang menikah, apakah kita harus saling mencintai, apakah harus selalu romantis, disisi lain aku tahu selama ini cinta bukan hal yg tetap, hubungan romantis yang aku bayangkan sejak kecil, ternyata pasti ada naik turunnya -life isn't like disney princess, right?- banyak keraguan yg menghampiri akhir2 ini, tentang bagaimana jika laki2 itu tida mencintaiku sepenuhnya, bagaimana jika ia tidak memperlakukanku dg baik, bukankah lebih baik aku bahagia tanpa menikah dll banyak sekali pertanyaa, lalu malam ini, alasan terakhir yang diungkapkan zhaf yg aku memahaminya seperti "Aku mencintaimu karena Allah" menjadi satu kunci utama yg bisa menjawab keraguanku, memberiku pandangan bahwa jika laki2 atau pasanganku nnt menikahiku krn Allah aku akan tenang dan dengan kepercayaan yg yakin seyakinnya, krn apabila dia mencintai Tuhannya dg sangat baik, dengan begitu dia akan merawat makhluknya (aku ) dg sangat baik pula, mengusahakan usaha terbaiknya, berusaha untuk tidak menyakiti dll, terimakasi zhaf, your video always inspire me 🥰🙏😊

[@auzieaus]

True. Marriage is hard. Sebelum kamu menguasai ilmu "menerima dengan ikhlas", don't do it.

[@meehahere]

Tulisan ini 2 years ago tp aku lagi ngerasain juga akhir-akhir ini. Thankyou kak zhaf udh make this video smg Allah jaga kak zhaf di manapun berada❤

[@adeline767]

This video randomly hit my homepage and the title got me hooked. But then it serves as another whole experienced that opens another new perspective in me. I don't know who you are or even curious about your background, but you are indeed a winner in life. You have the value that you hold by heart and genuinely live by it. And that is something that I have been wishing for a long time. Living by purpose, walking with goal and dream. Thank you for the knowledge!

[@raisin4406]

I know right. It's genuinely so comforting. I invite you to Islam, you'll never regret it 💗💗

[@nurulfakriah3514]

She is Indonesian

[@akunqonita]

Ya Allah selalu terpesonaa... umur masi belia (lebih muda dri aku), tapi jauuuuuhhh lebihh cerdas dan dewasa 😭😭😭 Seriuuuuss deh kepoooo gimana ortu zhafi ngedidik anak mereka dri kecil, sampe bisa cerdas emosional dan spiritual gini, bahkan bisa siap nikah di usia 18-19 tahun. Pdhal aku yg 24 takut mulu mekirin nikah 😅 plisss bikin konten tntg parenting ortu zhafi 😊

[@studeen629]

agreee! pleasee zhaa

[@djihanpuspitasari2199]

Up

[@mutiarajamilah6611]

up!!!

[@khairinnazmiar9275]

Up up up ✨

[@fadhilapuspaningrum9924]

Setuju. Setiap ngeliat orang2 yg gw kagum selalu bertanya2 bagaimana parenting yg diterapin ortu mereka :')

[@wiwidandriyanilestarinings4659]

Suka cara pola pikirnya. Suka bagaimana cara keluarga memperlakukan zha dari sejak dini sampai membentuk pola pikir seperti ini. 😍

[@zahrinafina4997]

Very similar story Zhaf! I've gone through that rapid adulting process too at high school and I think that is key. Although different circumstances brought me to an arranged married after university and at the point where my parents couldn't find me one so I asked my teacher. It was better because they could find someone from a bigger circle and network. On the first day, I and my husband were just like best friends, but soon as we reveal each other's languages of love, a romantic relationship was also built between us.😊

[@nourafiya583]

MasyaAllah kak akhirnya nemu figur muslimah yang mempraktekkan islam secara keseluruhan tanpa meninggalkan urusan duniawi juga. Akhirat dapet, dunia jg dapet Seneng bangett😍😭 Sehat-sehat ya kak zhaf, masih muda pula umur ku beda 2 tahun lebih muda tp bisa se dewasa itu. Penasaran cara ortu mendidik kak zhaf, semoga lain waktu bisa dishare di yt hehe

[@frogsandflowers5453]

This process sounds very respectful, thought out, and efficient. You must have a really good relationship with your parents as well.

[@lenabartscher9139]

I am an atheist. But I have found a new understanding and liking for arranged marriage. I think outsourcing the „mate-finding“ process to people who know you best is smart. And something that happens in good secular relationships, too (friends setting you up, meeting through family, work and friends). The toxic dating culture nowadays simulates freedom…but it actually is the opposite. I found dating without committment absolutely horrible. And it is the reason I am still single at almost 30. Freedom comes in grayscales.

[@azelladnrsni8102]

This is such an eye opening zhaa, karena banyak orang (including me) yang merasa "takut" dengan yang namanya arranged marriege. Thank youu zha for sharing with us

[@azimahsalleh8494]

Assamulaikum Zhafira, I am 34 years old and unmarried yet, at this stage, getting to marry seems a huge decision for myself to settle down. Salute to you that you want to marry at young age. I pray to Allah that semoga Allah akan sentiasa memberikan keberkataan kepada your marriage.

[@fajriani2353]

MaasyaAllah, I really really like how u thinking about married, bukanlah prioritas untuk mendapatkan cintanya lebih dulu. Selama ia mencintai Tuhan, pasti dia tahu bagaimana harus berlaku kepada makhluk Tuhan, utamanya yg sudah berstatus menjadi istri/suami. N dgn cara begitu, kitapun akan berjalan beriringan menuju yang Maha Kekal :"

[@asrinuranii]

Makasih kak udah membuka pikiran aku ttng perjodohan/ta'aruf. Ternyata melakukan semuanya sesuai yang disyariatkan agama itu indah jika dilakukan dengan cara yang benar. Suka banget sama cara kakak menyampaikannya

[@alfimelfissa]

"You can take as much time as you want, but remember that I might won't be around to marry when you're ready."

[@dinasahira9055]

Having a loving family is a huge privilege, mashaAllah. You are lucky. May everything good come to you.

[@pipicabi5093]

You are far more mature than your age, very inspiring and informative since the word "arranged" seems to scared people off. Enjoying your other vlogs as well!! Keep making more videos!!!

[@milkteakuy]

Watching this video because I love listening to Zha speaking in English🥰 But for me as someone who's not fond of marriage right now, at least it added some positive things into my bucket of negativity on marriage. So thank you for the insights Zha

[@malikastory7143]

I love your content. I am glad you decided to start filming KZbin. I just relieved still there is a Muslim that practice the religion so hard. Love that. You are religious and smart in the same time. We need you, zha. Truly as an influencer and Muslim figure. You deserve it.

[@meisyaandita]

kak boleh ga kapan2 chit chat nya tentang childfree yg lg byk dibicarain orang2 menurut pandangan kakak. Thank you, semangat kak i always wait for ur new video

[@dinnanafisa2872]

We're the same age Zha, but your thinking about marriage is very mature. at this time I was confused between education or choosing a serious relationship after graduation, but by looking at your videos why not choose both wkwkw 🤣 Hopefully someday I will get a partner who is the same frequency and equally supports each other's dreams. :)) Thanks Zha

[@Zhafiraiha]

There is absolutely no rush! One after the other is fine, both at the same time is also fine 🥰

[@faniaseptiasari1844]

Umurnya zhafira berapa?

[@captainkaizo3824]

@@faniaseptiasari1844 20. Kan ada kat tajuk

[@___sxbr___]

Subhan’Allah Zha, I love the last thing about loving allah is more important than loving your spouse loving you, whilst we all know this, you genuinely put it into practice with an arranged marriage. I am 23 right now & thinking about marriage whilst at university. May Allah swt make it easy for us all & bless your marriage ♥️

[@marisadevina2676]

I'm so impressed! You might be younger than me but your way of thinking is very mature and wise. I got a lot of lessons from listening to your story and the process of arrange marriage. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us :))

[@butterc0c0nut]

Wow, what you said about marrying someone who loves God more than anyone/thing else was also the reason I married my husband. We are Christians. You've explained the logic behind it so well. :)

[@onlysasya1332]

MaaSyaaAllah, ga nyangka ternyata Kak syafiq sama Kak Zhafira dijodohinn, ini juga melalui proses ta'aruf yg sesuai ya Kak? Dan bener banget sih, segala sesuatu (apapun itu) harus kita niatkan untuk Allah dulu, kalau dari awal niatnya bukan karena Allah (misal; karena manusia, dsb), jadinya malah ga tahan lama;) Semoga segala urusan rumah tangga Kak Syafiq dan Kak Zhafira selalu dilancarkan dan dipermudahkan oleh-Nya, Aamiin Allahumma Aamiin ❤️ Jangan lupa untuk selalu prioritaskan Allah ya Kak dalam urusan apapun

[@adjafatoudiassdiouf8759]

Peace be with you. Your words really touched me. I like those who precedes ALLAH above all. Remember we are in this world only to worship it. ALHAMDOULILAH

[@yazidahziya]

Actually, that proccess called by Taaruf! What a lovely your story Zhaff. Thanks for sharing this process so clearly and gently. Hopely, everyone will never misunderstood about taaruf and knows that marriage is about planning! Sehatt teruss Zhaff dan keluarga kecilmuu :)))))

[@Moonlight298ergh]

True !

[@LeenaZulkiflee]

As long as you can differentiate forced marriage and arranged marriage, then it should be fine

[@nahdialaelafijriah4662]

This is a lit explanation of taaruf process. Thank you for sharing this Kak Zha!

[@PutZarAjb17]

You're so young but so mature 🥺, I admire that ❤️, btw oot u literally look like a hijabi ver. Of Niki zefanya, even the way you speak, sounds similar 😳

[@hanin.arifah]

I really like the way She thinks. Keep going make an English version content kak zhaf, sometimes it really helps us to practice more our listening skills😄. Great job, and hope every good thing and something you wish will come to you very soon! 💛💛

[@sorayasalmazahira2595]

Wahh Zhaf... gue ikutin kisah nikahan kemarin ini heheheh,, kita samaan2 tapi gue nikah umur 23 dan baru nikah Mei kemarin ini hehehe, ta'aruf sejak awal Januari dan lamaran Februari but we got the day itu Mei maklum setelah rapat keluarga and my husband is my senior hahaha alhamdulillah dikasih org yg pernah gue kenal walau formalitas senior Junior aja ga pernah chat atau ngobrol intens dulunya

[@annisadiandari3178]

"What worked out for me, may not worked out for you." Kadang orang pikir mau punya hubungan kaya si ini, atau si itu, tapi nggak mikir kalo semua orang punya jalannya sendiri-sendiri buat menemukan "the one"

[@adjafatoudiassdiouf8759]

Yes there is only one way. marriage in satisfaction to ALLAH. To say get married for heaven and fight your soul to get heaven. that's the real way. ALLAH will facilitate

[@MPam1619]

Thank you for your video. I would just like to add that "forced" marriage is prohibited in Islam. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary that a woman agrees to marry a particular man. This is one of the many rights of women in Islam. Of course, in some cultures (around the world) things are done differently. Also, it is important to not confuse the role of a "wali" (a male family member who serves as a kind of marriage background checker in the interest of the young Muslimah) and that of those who seek to "arrange" a marriage.

[@mutiakhairunissa330]

selalu suka sama konten-konten ka zhaf, selalu mendidik dan punya perspektif yang berbeda. ideal muslimah, rule model aku pokoknya kaka

[@khanza6111]

kenapa aku baru nemu channel ini plsss, i luv your content kakk keep doing great things and spreading your positive vibes kak!

[@ayuandira7929]

Satu hal banget yg ditangkap disini. Komunikasi dgn yg dijodohkan yaitu zhafiraanya sendiri. Suka bgt bagian dimana bahwa orgtuanya zhafira tetap memprioritaskan pendapatnyaa. Berharap semua orgtua diluar sana yg melakukan perjodohan akan melakukan hal yang sama. Bukan hanya dijodohkan krna ingin melepaskan beban. Inilah pentingnya komunukasi bersama dgn orgtua kitaa. Menyatakan pendapat dn mendengarkan pendapat. Thankyou untuk membukakan mataku mengenai perjodohan ini😇🥰

[@rahayupertiwi4299]

zhafira namanya kak. jgn diubah

[@ayuandira7929]

@@rahayupertiwi4299 sudha ku edit 😆 sblm kmu ngingetin. Bru sadar ak salah ketik dn salah bacaa

[@Zhafiraiha]

Betul ini penting banget!

[@ayuandira7929]

@@Zhafiraiha juga salah satu pemicu kmu siap nenikah juga krna kmu juga sudah mandiri dn bisa menghasilkan uang sendiri di usia kmu yang segini. Sungguh salut sama kmuu ❤👍👍

[@aqhiladisty2396]

You’re so amazing kak👍👍 Thank you kak... I learnt something again from you and this is really open my mind about arranged marriege... Btw, I like the way you speak english kak🤗🤗 banyakin lagi yaa kak kontek berbahasa inggris❤️❤️✨🤗

[@bemuslimah]

Assalamualaikum Muslim Brothers and Sisters, I leave Christianity and alhamdulillah after found Islam i am now a Muslim❤️ Pray for me❤️❤️

[@Zhafiraiha]

May Allah bless your journey, the good and the bad

[@fidoreviews]

I'm more amazed you know you are sure and ready at 20yo. I dont even felt ready at 28 and i am definitely very independent and matured. I used to be alone most of the time i'm growing up which the idea of serving and living with someone just.. scared me. With a lot of abuses cases going on, i wish youngsters just be cautious with marriage and at least have something in your hand that your husband cannot take from you. as example, a job.. a degree and make sure explore a lot of things before you get married. we dont know if we gonna met the right one or the wrong one. be cautious.

[@nuridaw9586]

I am 44, still single, and still afraid to get married. Rather, I think I'm more afraid of commitment. I also agree with you that there are many abuse cases, and it's really hard to know whether someone is abusive until you live with that person. But as a Muslim, I believe that I need to trust Allah whenever I decide something. We, humans, have limited knowledge after all.

[@suherman1459]

kak kalo boleh translate nya taruh di cc aja, pengen sekalian belajar inggris, soalnya fokus ke translate terus.

[@sumayam.7453]

As Salamu Alaikum. I just found this video and am simply impressed with your persona - you’re wise beyond your years and so articulate. I am following you now because I want to learn more from you. Also, I am genuinely interested in knowing how you were raised as a child by your parents. Masha’Allah, they have succeeded in their accomplishments. May Allah bless you and your family, Ameen.

[@megapurnamasari3685]

Masya Allah, seneng banget nemu youtuber yang kuliah di luar tapi gak liberal. Semoga bisa jadi contoh buat anak-anak muda ya biar gak meninggalkan Islam walau kuliah di luar. Barakallahu fiikum. Aku langsung subscribe! 😍

[@beatrizgalvaao]

Girl, you’re so mature. At 18 I was like a baby… and after 10 years, I’m still a baby compared to you lol I really like the way you showcase your point without hurting anyone else. I’m surprised and inspired. Maybe I’m around many awful people 😅 Also thank you for explaining about arranged marriage. I was really prejudiced about it. You opened my eyes lol have a nice day.

[@Johira11]

Mashaallah! I don't really know you but I feel so proud as another muslimih for the point you say about "love Allah and believe and fear of him -subhanahu wa ta'ala-" and this really is a very important point! If someone loves Allah and fears of him at the same time truly, you will know that he won't do anything that will hurt you or be disrespectful to you. He will know he should take care of you and do the things that will make you happy and feel safe. There may be no love at the beginning, but you will never hate someone who does respect you and try what he can to make you happy. The "Love" that movie and media show for me is more like "attraction" than true love. I really wish happiness for you and your husband, and to have a happy and peaceful family! Sorry for my bad English.

[@mira1070]

May Allah keep you safe and surround you with those who will constantly remind you to Allah. Happy 1st anniversary, Zhafira & Syafiq. Barakallahufikum. I wish you will always happy to be together forever (^o^

[@mariamchaibi9444]

I rearly hit the like button before the end of any video.... But in this case... I smashed the like button way early hhhh... I think you are wise far beyond your age mash Allah. May Allah protect you and your loved ones... Greetings from Morocco 😍😍

[@Atre-hr3oo]

perjodohan yang tidak memaksakan kehendak orangtua yang hanya berdasarkan materi adalah kebijakan terbaik dari segelintir orangtua yang ada di muka bumi. Selamat ya zafira, kamu memiliki orangtua yang dapat menghargai pendapatmu. Semoga pernikahanmu sampai di surganya Allah kelak nanti.

[@anonim-sk9yx]

Senang mendengar cerita dr kakak, selain bs mendpat ilmu ttg perjodohan, jg bs blajar listening dikit" ☺️🥰

[@nurjahanullah1195]

Ma sha Allah. So beautifully explained. I love the way you said how you chose someone who has love for Allah first

[@amirahmujahid9061]

Can definitely relate with you 😉..I also studied overseas in NZ and right after I finished my degree, had an arranged marriage. Alhamdulillah, this year would be our 10th anniversary. I couldnt agree more on your opinion of romantic love. Keep up your great work, all yr sharings are very inspiring and fun at the same time😘😘

[@hashimahhashim770]

Good for you, the key point here this process is no force at all and you want it. Just do whatever we believe in and be happy

[@icanhearitcalling9355]

How can she be such a mature women in that young age im already 22 and didn't know what's gonna happen to my future lol

[@AmeliaNurunnisa]

I came across your youtube channel and unintentionally found this video. At first, I was only hooked up by the title, but surprisingly, I took a great quote from the video (I've repeated your video several times just to record your words). I've been married for 4 years and I got reminded of my purpose of getting married by you, "At that point of time, I wanna go through a self-development process which I thought would be easier to do if I have a potential supportive partner with me who can serve as a reflection, as a reminder for me to constantly do better so that I could strive and try to work on myself to improve beyond my point of who I am at that point." Nice words!

[@maryanyah]

I'm not Muslim and this video was really informative. Thankyou!

[@Anonym0453]

it is important to be able to differentiate between culture and islam bc she is mostly talking bout the culture of her

[@maryanyah]

@@Anonym0453 But I thought arrange marriage originated from Islam? But it was still really nice to understand the concept a bit at least.

[@Anonym0453]

@@maryanyah No, dear, it’s „just“ culture and a religious backgroud. In Islam, there are certain principles to be adhered to. For example, extramarital contact is forbidden, i.e. to a man etc.. Arranged marriage is one method to do justice to Islam, but not the only one. Marriage by love is also quite permissible, as long as one adheres to the rules of religion. But cool that you are interested in understandig. My intent was not to spread hate with my reply on your comment, furthermore for me it is important that people are clarified, so there are not creations of misunderstandings.

[@maryanyah]

@@Anonym0453 oh my God! I'm so sorry I made you feel like that, I understand that you were not being hateful. Thankyou🤗.

[@runrach7696]

@@Anonym0453 may i know where are you from?

[@serotoninsomnia3783]

Punya orang tua yg sholih dan sholihah adalah privilege yg luar biasa

[@saabirahjacobs8494]

MaashaAllah TabaarakAllah. Such wise words and a great reminder as to what the purpose of marriage is in Islam which is to gain closeness to God. Living in a Western world we grow up to believe that marriage is suppose to being endless love and adoration but then when we become so disappointed when the other party cannot fulfill our need for endless love but we forget that this can only be fulfilled by God and that our spouse is only but human. Lived this video :)

[@fitrya6322]

Butuh video tentang cara parenting ya umi dan abi zhafira

[@anpdgbe]

To me this sounds more like matchmaking than arranged marriage, I think there’s a fine line between the two

[@btsarmyforever3816]

Matchmaking is arranged marriage though? It is that way in my country too. We call it arranged marriage. Two ppl meet upon someone's recommendation, if they like each other, and families like them, they proceed. Then what is arranged marriage called in your country?

[@anpdgbe]

@@btsarmyforever3816 my Indian colleague told me his parents made the decision and the only time he met his bride was on their wedding day

[@anpdgbe]

Not the only time I mean the first time

[@btsarmyforever3816]

@@anpdgbe That's not the way we do it in the cities. That's ridiculous. They are probably from some village or something. Here adult boy/girl make the decision and there is an 8 months time period to get to know each other in proper etiquette as well. If they feel it's not working out, the alliance is dropped. No one I know will marry the person just upon first meeting. That's a recipe for disaster. Also it has to be the girl/boy decision. Not parents. If they don't like each other, it def won't proceed.

[@kiwiwooq]

@@anpdgbe yeah same with my parents too. But the culture now is way too chill

[@Mayday46]

Thats Arranged Marriage. Several culture use the arranged married as somthing they take advantage on woman.

[@Zhafiraiha]

Agreed

[@faridakhan9186]

This was actually such a beautiful video. Loved the message

[@nahla1502]

Dang .. 9:18 on point ❤ May Allah reward your parents for beautiful parenting which produces children who think like that in their teens. Barakallaahu lakum, may Allah bless you both till jannah. Aameen yaa robbal alameen 🤲❤ It would be nice if you (& your Abang) could share the type of parenting & methode of deen teaching in your family🥰 Wassalaam, Much love😘

[@rikheauliaoktaviani6511]

masyaallah..amazing opinion, kak zha. kapan" upload tntng cara parenting orngtua ka zha dong yang akhirnya bisa membentuk karaktermu ini

[@rahmadina2561]

Wahh mind opening bgt.. stigma "arranged marriage" yg berkembang cenderung ke "forced marriage" dmn pihak pr yg dirugikan krn harus manut.. Tapi insight dr "arranged marriage" yg disajikan ideal banget si.. ky, seharusnya begini nih arranged marriage. Krn esensi pernikahan it sakral bgt, dan ga main2

[@hyrunnisa997]

I wouldn't call this an arranged marriage. Its more like a blind date. I would say arranged marriage is where you don't have the option of saying no. you might not meet the person before you get married and even if you do meet if you don't like them you don't have a choice. If you are being set up to go on a blind date whether its shaproned or not its not really arranged.

[@AM69999]

But I live in the Middle East and arranged marriages are done exactly like she described

[@maryallouche9490]

@@AM69999 I live with Arabs and arranged marriages are like what the comment above said. An arranged marriage quickly turns into a forced one. Or the man or the woman don‘t even meet each other.

[@uhoh1095]

That's wrong in arranged marriages you 100% have the option of saying no, if you can't say no, the marriage is then a forced marriage. In Islam forced marriages are invalid however arranged marriages are allowed and there's nothing wrong with them

[@km-rp8dk]

I am 25 and my parents have been looking for a prospect for me but still no luck Insha Allah when Allah wills everyone will find their spouse at the right time untill than keep making dua .Arrange marriages are beautiful

[@Yusufxzulaikha]

Masya Allah suka dengar pendapat dia tentang cinta... sangat matang dr umur nya.. Subhanallah, ingin kenal ibu bapanya, macamana mereka mendidik kamu?❤️ Subhanallah

[@unknownperson-pt7bf]

Regardless of the main topic but I’m really amazed that you can walk to your parents and said i am ready for marriage Now I’m 24 and every time this topic appear I feel embarrassed and Slurred in speaking 😅 its difficult to me talking with my parents in that topic Btw I loved this video so much

[@ganiyat6741]

Haha. Same. I feel this way too.

[@jannah2833]

serious talk, whenever i watched her videos i gain a lot of knowledge and motivation tho 🥰 i like this kind of content 😍 it makes me open minded for my future plans ☺️ thank you kak zhaf ❤️

[@kittenmimi5326]

Yea definitely not the usual artanged marriage definition, as you said it's like family tinder, like matchmatcking events but in a more chill / respectful manner. It's basically like how people start dating normally but except of randomly wandering around you have this kind of arranged structure to make scheduling a meeting etc easier

[@nawara8368]

Could you please talk to us more about how you were able to be financially stable?

[@smilingalpaca1025]

Your final point is beautiful and actually an eye-opening 💕 Thank you

[@huangcuping1801]

Sy subscriber baru dan non muslim. Tp saya kagum dan respect dgn kedewasaan Zha dan sy senang mendptkan true insight dari Zha. Dlm pengalaman hidupku sndr, sy org yg sgt mandiri dan cukup religius. But I had a bad experience having a toxic relationship and ruined my life. I learn that the most important thing in a marriage is being with the right person for you that have the same vision and click with you. Not who you're falling in love with (imagine falling in love with the wrong person and making your life miserable). Sy jg kenal suami sy krn di perkenalkan seorg tmn. Dan tdk lama kmdn kami menikah and we have a healthy relationship and growing into the same direction.

[@adrwp]

Nice video! Kak, apakah ada kejadian/kondisi yang membawa kakak menjadi lebih dewasa dibanding orang-orang seusia kakak? Ataukah juga pengaruh dari lingkungan keluarga?Terimakasih kak.

[@linaamaliaangelina3672]

Ka zhafira cerdas bgt semoga nular cerdas dan public speakingnya Aamiin

[@user-iw3ws7ww3v]

Intinya sistem ta'aruf kaaa. MasyaAllah baarakallaahu fiik. May Allah always bless you and your life partner. 🌸

[@fhayhasalal9462]

I so love how you explained the context of Arranged Marriage in Islam 😊🤍 It is finding the right companion through the guide of parents. AND “It’s an arranged marriage NOT a force marriage” 😅 We’ve a shared experience. Alhamdulillah I’m happily married for two years now. My husband and I aren’t even friends in any social media platform, he didn’t courted me, and we just got to know each other after the wedding. It is one of the best feelings; to catch a romantic feeling with your husband. Haha Sending hugs and salaam from the Philippines. 🤍😘

[@azzahrahasan6886]

Loving the video so much! Thanks udah berbagi pengalaman. Setuju banget kalo orang yang melibatkan segala sesuatu dengan Tuhan-Nya akan lebih mempertimbangkan segala perbuatannya dan ya, aku juga dijodohkan. Menurut aku perjodohan itu adalah cara yang paling tepat (tanpa ada drama jika tidak cocok) dan cinta dimulai ketika mengenal sang pasangan setelah memutuskan menikah. Thanks for sharing, wish you having a happy life kak zha!❤️

[@excusii3933]

Mashaallah ❤️ more power to you Zhaff, your way of thinking is very inspirational. For me the relationship between God and oneself is also a priority. I haven’t thought about arranged marriages yet, but this was definitely a very insightful opinion. Thank you. ❤

[@nailyfadhilah5840]

*sambil sholawatan. Semoga dapet jodoh seperti yg disebutkan zha ya Allah, aamiin

[@caraperegrine6936]

I totally respect an arranged marriage concept and if people wanna go through that, then i’ll happier to support them. However, me myself I have a little bit of trust issues and trauma towards guys. Some dark past. So ANY male stragers or even friends that i dont really close with, i would totally act indifferent towards them. Cuz in my head, I always imagine the worst possible scenarios. Simply put, i’m on my guard for the rest of the world. But marriage means that I will need to make babies, i have to serve them, i have to be honest, spend time together, ikut perintah, with the person that i barely know of? Thats a hard no. I cant even open up to some of my friends, but i have to trust this guy who personalities i know is from what HE himself claimed to be? I cant imagine that :(

[@MysteriMustacheToast]

Why do you need to serve them? You support and love your family. Not serve them like a servant.

[@AIVPCIO]

You should get support for your trauma to heal, otherwise you will have to live with dark thoughts till Allah knows when. I would humbly suggest to not to wait and find someone professional to help you out of depression, i have been there trust me it is not easy to do all the work by yourself.

[@si.3107]

I totally agree with you sister! I have the same opinion as you

[@sassysassy9950]

Salam Sis. Same sentiment with you. The fact that it took me for so long to be comfortable with my friends, then how much more to a stranger (especially a guy)? I justtt couldn't imagine living with that person everyday. I feel like, i would rather spent my time to be with my parents than with someone. But I pray to Allah, in a perfect time I can meet someone that I can connect to.

[@user-hl4vl8qd7h]

That's logic for me! Sorry but the idea of an arranged marriage is a huge no for me! Not always what you see on papers are true!! How can you spend your life and create a family with a person who just met a few times or thought he /she is good just by reading an essay....

[@Spidersare246]

Assalamualaikum Zafira I don't know why KZbin suggested your video for me even if though I never watched your videos but I'm an algérien Muslim 19 year old medical student and arrange marriage is a common way to get married in my country but I never listen to someone speak about it like you do I really appreciate that still someone can show the world that it's ok to marry someone then love him And we as Muslim women and men should always learn from our prophet Muhammad Even if it's late but Congratulations for your marriage بارك الله لكما و بارك عليكما و جمع بينكما في خير

[@maryallouche9490]

That‘s mainly because arranged marriages turn into forced marriages in Algeria. That‘s why nobody talks about it nowadays. Nobody wants a loveless dull marriage.

[@bushraa6527]

arranged marriage is not without feelings, there is attraction, but not full-fledged "love" and it allows you to be more practical about the partner you're choosing, it works for people who are more timid, and not as daring, and everyone has different ideas about life so it still works for people today

[@rintanoviana550]

Telat 2 jam lalu, Tpi gapapa asal Selalu nontonin kontennya kak Zhaf🥰 Rajin2 upload yaa kak❤ suka bgt sm konten2 kakak

[@delasatriani]

Masya Allah, kata2 nya memukau, membuka fikiran ku soal pernikahan, Thank u So Much Zha, sedih bgt baru nemu channel kamu gini hari :')

[@cumi-cumikokobop8106]

It is not easy to trust someone who I barely know, so I think arranged marriage is not for me. Also I've been rised by narcisstic parent so I see love as something unreachable for me. I don't see a marriage is something that will make me happy, rather I think it would make me have more problems (become daughter-in-law and so on). Nevertheless, I'm so happy for everyone who has met their love of their lifetime ☺

[@Zhafiraiha]

Thank you for sharing! It really does tell us how much upbringing has an influence to our thoughts!

[@suwarsoadjie7214]

I wish all Muslim/ah have mind set about marriage like Zhafira. Barrakallah

[@sashimicroissant5139]

Thank you for sharing your experience! You are genuine & it makes me feel comfortable to know that everything is going to be okay. Have a great day! 🥹❤️

[@hananselma4867]

Suka sama penyampaian dan konten zhafira. Trmksh sdh bikin video ini :)

[@mohamedb3902]

MashAllah well said arrange marriage not forced marriage in my case i also had my arrange marriage in my 20 Alhamdulillah life is still going happy and smooth and became a mother of three little angels great gift from Allah and parents are know who is the prefect partner for rest of your life

[@user-ix6ho1uo5b]

I pray for you and Kak Syafiq till Jannah 🤲😊

[@walkingwith_dinosaurs]

Seems like a great way to find a spouse, the only disadvantage in my opinion is that you still need time to know the person you are potentially going to live the rest of your life. I think a halal dating period of several month or more is necessary.

[@saka4200]

The matching process is usually done in a few months, but without doing the common "dating" style.

[@rubycloudi]

I live in a country where people get marriage in both ways (falling in love and then getting married) or (arranged marriage) but I didnot know what a arranged marriage really meant before watching ur video Thank u habibti zhafira❤

[@madgurl5951]

9:28 really hit me. Thank you for open my eyes about relationship, love and god.

[@fizakusnin2961]

Mine is not an arranged one but I'm grateful mashaaAllah that the person I chose many many years ago, is the kind of person who would never let my hands go. He treated me with respect, humbleness & softness before marriage and even more so after we got married and are now happy with 3 children of our own. If I'm hurt with others, I seek for his comfort coz he'll never hurt me. Alhamdulillah 😭. Nevertheless, arranged marriages or not, or some are just happy being single...I pray to Allah that everyone will be blessed with a happy life until we die. Blissful marriage to u Zha! Love from a Malaysian Javanese 😘

[@si.3107]

Even if I dont agree with you in that point cause for me marriage without loving the person is mentally impossible I respect totally your decision. Our parents did the same thing and they still happily married el hamdulillah.

[@em.en.em.2]

I couldn't agree more with the statement: “This type of love where you put God first before anything else -to me,- is a lot more sacred than the type of love where it is romantic but you leave God completely out of the picture.”

[@taereans7466]

I love how realistic you are when talking abt this cs its truly can be different for each person and your goal is solely to just show the process and the reason why you choose this decision, with logical background why you think you're also suitable with this at a very young age.

[@haidind6925]

Happy 1st Anniversary ka Zhafira dan ka Syafiq, Berkah Allah masyaaAllah..

[@bagussuryabahari3817]

Baarokallohu fiikuma Zha dan Syafiq. Semoga Allah Azza wa Jalla senantiasa menaungi bahtera rumah tangga kalian dengan keberkahan, rahmat dan inayahNya. Amiiin Keep insipiring Zha