WHY I LEFT AA ( Alcoholics Anonymous )

[@RecoveryMusician]

You might want to listen to what I have to say before assuming I haven’t done the steps or I don’t believe in God or I don’t know what’s in the Big Book or I’m not happy in my sobriety or I’m “searching for something” or I don’t help others or I’m naive or lost in some way because I left AA and I don’t call myself an alcoholic 🙄

[@Mr.NoName1972]

I didn't know what a resentment was until I came to AA. Most of the people on my 4th step resentment column were from AA,

[@stevenc6705]

You were in a bad meeting group for you. Go and find one that fits you.

[@samlewis7098]

@@stevenc6705 or that's just most peoples experience.

[@andrewrodriguez7431]

Four years sober (February 16, 2020) and I had a couple in person meetings before the COVID pandemic shut everything down, but I attended online meetings twice a week. I religiously followed the 12 steps (never had a sponsor) and connected a lot of my life upbringing to where I ended up, and was able to rewire my thoughts, actions, and emotions to turn things around. Life was correcting and relationships repairing at such a fast pace that when I attended meetings it made me feel I was doing something wrong, as most of the attendees all seemed to struggle. I felt this was doing more harm then good to my recovery so I stopped attending, except for a yearly meeting to remind myself of where I was. AA changed my life for sure, but I just believe there is a time when it has to become the past and not making the fact I am an acholic my identity. I now live my life within the guidelines of the 12 steps, strive for personal improvement, and continue to grow in a positive direction (while staying sober). The fundamentals of AA are fantastic, the meetings is where I think it is not for everyone on a long term basis and no one should feel guilty for expressing any opinion on what is the right way...recovery is different for everyone.

[@RecoveryMusician]

Totally agree!

[@catheriner6281]

I'm interested in the fact that you never had a sponsor but succeeded at the program. I've been in and out of AA, never had a sponsor and it's taking me so long to get anywhere with the steps and I'm not great with phoning others in AA. I just drift away but I'm interested in the fact that you did it without a sponsor. Maybe I'll try on my own as it's kind of hard to get connected. Thank you

[@andrewrodriguez7431]

@@catheriner6281 Thanks for the reply and sorry for taking so long to respond. I just really wanted change and was ready to show people in my life who I really was and what I could be. Having a great support system around me was crucial as well, mostly family. My basic mindset on my journey was treating it like a peanut allergy, if I was to ingest it, I would die. Which was truth to me, I knew I would be right back to square one if I made the choice to return to alcohol. I also started tackling past demons from early childhood one by one. Connecting all the dots of a traumatic, emotionally/physically abusive and dysfunctional upbringing and learning how all these events eventually showed what I became...it was tough, but necessary. I also found insight from the movie Dr. Sleep that helped in understanding how to deal with those life traumas and ways to manage them. My life now is far healthier on all levels and my sobriety is just how I live, there have been no relapses, and I don't ever desire to drink even when difficult life events occur. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope all works out, if you ever need to reach out to anyone, please don't hesitate to contact someone in your local area or I can give you my email address if you want, just let me know. We have all been there and know what it's like, take care.

[@DavoWillo]

I’ve been abstinent for 28 years and work in the addictions field. I think there’s something that works for everyone. There’s nothing wrong with any of the treatments available, it just depends on what works for each individual. I think we can all learn from lots of different things. Whatever is working for you, keep doing that!

[@waynek805]

The problem (as stated in this video) is most people don't know about alternatives to AA, and therefore the growth of those other organizations has been stunted. So people keep going back to AA when it isn't helping and something else would be better for them. I am grateful that the outpatient program I have been attending listed alternatives including SMART, which I really like.

[@bradcollins6659]

@DavoWillo parallel paths. Retired about 2 1/2 years ago, spending the last few years of my career in private practice after many years in administration and research at a couple of large, multi-level of care addiction treatment and recovery centers. Multi-faceted, personal journey which began in AA. Found that a huge percentage of the folks I/we treated at essentially any level of care could not and/or would not embrace AA or other 12 Step support groups. This truth inspired me to seek out other referrals for them and for myself. People love options and non-judgement. Cheers.

[@markg.4246]

Well stated! True sobriety is about being teachable, and supportive regardless of the path to sobriety. My path has included AA meetings on a regular basis for the last 30 plus years, but I have never spent five seconds of any day "badmouthing" other avenues. Why? Because I know intimately the "terrible beating administered by alcohol". It's not something I would wish on anyone!

[@theconcreteshamans]

I love the simplicity of AA and how it dismantles the alcoholism piece by piece.

[@RecoveryMusician]

I love that too - the AA book description of alcoholism is very relatable.

[@antmac2545]

I've met both good and bad people in AA. When i stopped going to meetings, i was ghosted by most of them. I could never get the concept of having an incurable , deadly disease, and the only way through it was to talk about it incessantly, so you never actually get to leave it behind. Lots of manipulation in the rooms at the time, and if you dare question anything or try and think for yourself you would get shut down. Im 3 years sober and haven't been to a meeting for 18 months. I feel so fit and healthy and dont feel the need to carry my past with me all the time. I will say that when i first left, i had a very unhealthy burden of shame because of it, and i had to see a physc about it to let it go. What that says about AA for me im not to sure but in the end it was not healthy.

[@stevenc6705]

If you cannot control your drinking of alcohol then you’re an alcoholic. If you have breast cancer, you don’t fight your doctors plan for your recovery. You pray and you follow. Stop fighting.

[@stevenc6705]

What about when you’re a diabetic? Or have cancer? Or HIV? Or MS? Or Crohn’s disease. These are treatable but not curable.

[@markg.4246]

No organization on earth is perfect, including Alcoholics Anonymous. Like any meeting, of any kind, anywhere, there will be people you like and some you don't. No great mystery there. AA's own literature spells out very clearly that there is NO "demand that you believe anything"! No one should criticize another for sticking to that. We believe in "principles BEFORE personalities. AA is NOT about "not drinking", it's about being the best human beings we can. So why would we spend time talking about "drinking", instead of talking about living in the solution. THAT'S what meetings are for, to focus on the human skills of being a responsible adult in every area of our lives.

[@jesseprejean6168]

This is a fantastic video, thank you for sharing! I have been through the exact same thing over the past 2 years. I left after 7 years and learned how to stop polarizing reality to find more balance and grey area. I needed to be away from the program to make that happen. It certainly helped me get sober, but there is also a lot of fear-mongering and imposed limitations that can easily be taken on from the ideology. I have tried to go back for the connection/community, but I know how easy it could be to slip back into the unhealthy mindset. Most of what I hear in the meetings does not resonate at all for me anymore, so it feels pointless to be there. I don't drink and don't call myself and alcoholic today because I'm not. I don't have a spiritual disease and don't need the program to make me feel well. I am not a member of AA because I don't have any desire to stop drinking nor do I feel that helping others is part of my purpose anymore. I live by some of the principles that I have learned from the program but have also learned to go deeper into healing more of the issues that were at the root of my addictive behaviors. Anyhow, it's so nice to hear others like yourself that can relate because there really is no exit strategy for leaving 12 step programs and it can feel scary and isolating. So, thank you again! I wrote a blog about my experience as well, perhaps you might like to read it: www.jesseprejean.com/post/beyond-12-step-recovery-a-journey-to-personal-liberation-and-healing Cheers!

[@RecoveryMusician]

Thank you 🙏 I feel the same way- thanks for sharing your blog, I hope everyone reads it :)

[@theconcreteshamans]

I've found that there is a lot of incorrect sponsorship in AA. Read Back To Basics by Wally P. A true alcoholic would never be negative in a meeting because sobriety is joyful. I ignore anything in meetings that is negative. It's just not for me. I'm there to carry the message

[@JebKidd]

@@jesseprejean6168 I just read your blog amazing stuff I found myself going to AA alot out of loneliness had sponsors did steps get months under my belt then lapse terribly for 2 weeks then rinse and repeat I didn't have alot else going on in my life and realized that was because I spent all my times sitting in meetings and not agreeing with most of what was said I now sometimes do secular AA and attend recovery dharma once a week and try new things in life instead of hiding in meetings which became an addiction in itself thank you for the blog

[@mnmmnm8321]

I hope you found serenity, brother ✨✨✨

[@jesseprejean6168]

@@mnmmnm8321 never better! thank you!

[@quentinl2551]

Thanks you for that share, amazing experience. I love how you respect the principles even if you have things to say that didn't go according to you. It helps me understand that I can be a righteous freak sometimes that thinks he has the Truth, but there are other truths that work too. I wish you a great recovery, in or out AA.

[@RecoveryMusician]

🙏 thank you 🙏

[@JAam430]

AA taught me to talk about my problems instead of avoiding them.

[@rumfitmosey2072]

15:50 you're describing non-duality. The gift of The Dhamma. As a sober person, previously alcoholic, previously devoted to AA and have since left, I identify with literally everything you've described.

[@stevenc6705]

AA didn’t resonate with me the first couple times I tried. Mostly because I was fighting it. Once I let go and accepted I was an alcoholic it started to work for me. I thank God. Life has never been better

[@slimbride777]

One of the most honest things I have ever seen from person. I share slot of questions. One thing I’ve learned for me and all the years that I’ve been in it. There’s two types of people predators and conformists. These are the people that gravitate to AA and other 12 step programs. I don’t want to put a date on my sobriety. I’ve had more years sober than I ever had using my adult life. I don’t take it for granted, I know I’m not a good person when I’m using. Although I could never identify with all those people that are conformist and try to be the worst alcoholic only to prove that they were such a success story. In my opinion, it’s all ego. Even my using I wasn’t much of a cheat, liar and a thief. Yet every person I see at the podium talks about how bad they were appreciate your honesty and your talk. I think I’ve identified more with you than any other speaker.

[@MM-ub9hg]

Thank you for your honesty. I heard Not Fitting In several times, I understand. Most rooms have good intentions, but the fellowship is also very clicky. This also drove me away from the rooms. There are other healthy alternatives available outside of AA.

[@visam28]

Tried AA many times I don't resonate with it. Most of the people are very nice and well meaning. It can be very toxic. I believe in healing and moving on. Most of the people I know who are sober and healthy did so without AA. One of the themes of most meetings are people talking about feeling crazy when they havent attended a meeting.

[@stevenc6705]

Tell a diabetic to move on. A chronic condition is chronic. There is no cure. But there is a solution

[@rfrancoi]

I just happened to stumble upon this video. This is very brave of to share so much of yourself. I wish you the best.

[@davidgeiser4636]

I can tell you that AA helped me immensely for the 1st few years of my sobriety (15 years in 3 months) and I got to a point where I wanted to move away from the past and walk towards not defining myself as a recovering alcoholic but just a sober person and it became tiring talking about my drinking every single day at various meetings.....I used to hear people 10-15-20+ years sober in meetings saying "I come to meetings because I'm afraid not to", that was an aha moment for me....I no longer feared drinking, I was done and I believe people know when they're done.....I believe the old timers still live in that fear which is sad....today I just live my life, I worked steps and live them but I don't feel the need to live in the past in AA anymore. Not bashing it at all....its the best program there is and was super helpful for me and is helpful to so many, but I just don't feel the need to talk about it anymore, I still remember how bad it was and unfortunately I do think about those times a lot but that's what keeps me from going back to drinking.

[@TonyFrickey-ur9jy]

Aa was the only thing that helped me get and stay sober. That being said aa has also taught me that I am more than just an alcoholic. I have mental disorders as well that the steps would not help with these other issues. I didn't like the authority that some sponsors in aa use. People are sick in those rooms. People are still people so I try not to judge them.

[@wade-be7sz]

the goal is to stop drinking...what ever works for you......over thinking it is building a reason to fail...

[@paulayre2177]

💯%

[@davidemm829]

You could not have said this better..I've been thousands of times, I'm long sober..I get it..I have not attended in 5 yrs about..thank you

[@markbryski]

Progress. Not perfection. Also, welcome to "in between" land. For me, "in between" land is the most fascinating part of recovery. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@Meanie010]

Each group being fully autonomous leaves lots of room for different meetings to veer off onto diverging paths - There are many meetings in my city that I wont go to, because I don't like the way the meeting is run, or the flavor of doctrine that is adhered to, or the behaviour of certain individuals or cliques. I had to shop around a lot to find the meetings I liked, with the people I liked. Those ones, I got involved in service to help preserve the group culture that appealed to me and which I believed would appeal to newcomers like me, gentle, tolerant, accepting, and patient. There were some meetings, where, had that been my first meeting, I might never have returned. So it's really important to find a group you like, and who are accepting.

[@markallen5764]

AA IS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC WITH THE CORRECT COUNSELLORS I WENT TO A VERY STRICT ONE AND IVE NEVER LOOKED BACK BECAUSE IT SAVED MY LIFE ❤❤❤❤ BECKY 🇬🇧 🇬🇧

[@bradcollins6659]

Thank you for your courage. I have found that the types of problem drinkers/users is much more varied than can be addressed by a one-size-fits-all approach. Takes courage and resolve to step outside the norm. I knew my quality of life, despite not drinking/using was not going to persistently improve if I did not seek-out and follow my own internal messages. I found, through trial and error that my guts are not full of shit! I continually evolve into a person who is able to and will pursue a high quality and resourceful life.

[@CharlotteHarvey-v1n]

Thank you for sharing your experience I found it very interesting x

[@patrickthorn653]

I'm going through the same thing. It's very scary. Thank you for the video.

[@Jav-in-G-likedandsubbed]

AA is stuck in the 1940's. Addiction is better understood these days.

[@nicholasklein9180]

Can you explain how?

[@nicholasklein9180]

@@Jav-in-G-likedandsubbed "The science is understood more"? What does that even mean?

[@markg.4246]

Please enlighten me, so I can STOP going to those damn meetings. 😉 (I have a 10am meeting tomorrow, that I wouldn't miss for breakfast with Jesus himself!) (He'd understand.)

[@theconcreteshamans]

The disease in the 40s is the same as it is today. Nothing has changed.

[@slimbride777]

@@nicholasklein9180 for one thing most AA people talk badly about addiction, doctors general practitioner, modern medication therapist psychologist any type of cognitive behavioural therapy any of the stuff that is new cutting edge science in the field of addiction medicine and mental health. A lot of these people don’t even understand that there’s underlying mental disorders that contribute to peoples using. ADHD. PTSD borderline personality disorder bipolar etc I’ve seen people in AA tell people to get off their ain’t depressants because it’s a clutch or they’re switching one addiction for another. So they’re putting these people in a position of utter depression, where suicide is a very serious possibility because they’re a mailman and they heard from their sponsor that people shouldn’t be on medication. So why is AA trapped in the 1940s well Dr. Silkworth has a whole chapter dedicated to him in the big book his opinion. When they wrote the big book they sent 200 copies to doctors all over the country for their thoughts. Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson actually celebrated the science of the 1940s and wanted to eagerly learn more about it all the way up into the 60s when Bill took LSD with his therapist.. It was this pursuit of learning and incorporating the science of the time into the program of alcoholics anonymous. Well that was 80+ years ago and yet there hasn’t been any adoption of cutting edge science of today into the program of alcoholics anonymous. So yeah it really is stuck in the past.

[@Jerseystructureunderboss]

I highly recommend Melody Beatty’s Codependent No More. I share your struggles. It really helped me.

[@myrootsgraspNewsoil]

Thank you so much for sharing this. So many people don’t see or understand pages 20-21 in the big book that discusses the “hard drinker” who can look very much like an alcoholic-but is not an alcoholic! You may very well fall into this category? Many “hard drinkers” can need a detox or medical help to initially stop and need support to do so BUT if they have “sufficient reason” to stay stopped they CAN! Because they have not lost the power to be able to do that! Real alcoholics don’t have the ability to stay stopped without a spiritual solution. They can’t stop once they start to drink due to the “physical craving” and they can’t stay stopped once they have stopped due to the “mental obsession.” There truly is a world of ignorance and misunderstanding about alcoholism-(page 20) including people within AA-and even those who are die hard BB practitioners-don’t fully understand the differences between hard drinkers and real alcoholics. As a recovered alcoholic with 26 years, I aim to do my very best to help people qualify themselves as an alcoholic or hard drinker by discovering their own truth with both the craving and the obsession. (meaning from their own experiences with both craving the obsession) Because we only need the 12 steps as a way of life permanently, if we can not stay stopped without a spiritual solution, after we have stopped. That being said AA and the big book is also not the ONLY spiritual program that can show you how to stay stopped! There are many other 12 step type of paths that can show you how to tap into a higher power to stay stopped. And of course the big book acknowledges that some people still really need to find out if they can stay stopped on their own-and factually even encourages them to try to do it IF they need to(page 34)-so they can actually find out if they are powerless to do that/or if they actually can stop on their own power. (Which hard drinkers CAN do.) But If you find you can’t stay stopped you can always come back to AA if you wish-and you will be welcomed back with open arms. Or try another spiritual path that might also be able to show you a way to do it. Whatever happens, I wish you the very best. And I truly hope more AA members get to know what our text book, the big book, is actually saying about this extremely important subject.

[@mylink.orb17]

This! ALL THIS! Thank you for taking the time to explain so concisely what I struggle to. Such a simple concept yet so many struggle to understand it, or just don't want to. Big Book Awakening changed my life. I appreciate you @myrootsgraspNewsoil

[@mylink.orb17]

And bravo to you. 26 years, that's amazing.

[@myrootsgraspNewsoil]

@@mylink.orb17 Thank you. Dan S who was the author of BBA was a very dear friend of mine and a major help to me during my recovery. I miss him so very much but his Spirit is still alive and well. Best wishes on your journey as well.

[@myrootsgraspNewsoil]

@@mylink.orb17 Idk why but my comment to you didn’t post yet so I’ll try again. Firstly thank you. Secondly, Dan S who wrote BBA (big book awakening) was a major influence on my sobriety and a very dear friend who I miss dearly. Fortunately His Spirit is still alive and well. Lastly best wishes on your continued journey as well.

[@darrellborder8555]

Thanks for sharing this information explaining the difference between hard drinkers and alcoholics. Blessings for you.

[@claudeross126]

I am emotionally and mentally ill, I gave up the idea that I can drink safely . I see people dying who suffer from addiction and most can't overcome it

[@patkitt9205]

Very thoughtful video. I really enjoyed this. Great work

[@RecoveryMusician]

Thank you very much!

[@drunkdadchronicles]

First off thank you for this video, I enjoyed, agree and can very much relate with what you have to say:) I have 27 months of no alcohol currently. I started going to AA for the first 7 months after that I started drifting away from AA at odds if it was really for me or not? It does feel cult like in some ways but I have taken away some really great tools from AA. But for me it really is an all or nothing type of thing and I also had trouble finding a sponsor although I didn't try very hard to find one, sharing my personal life experiences with complete strangers is something I'm not super in line with. It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels like this and it's nice to come across someone else who does. All the AA meetings in the world cannot change my past and the only thing I can 100% commit to right now is not drinking which so far is going fantastic for me:) I look forward to more videos, Cheers🥰 oops:) quick side note I am also a musician and I utilize my musical talents as a way to unravel and heal from my abusive alcoholic behaviors which has been a really great tool and I'm blessed to have music writing and performance to help me in my recovery journey🥰

[@RecoveryMusician]

Thanks for sharing, great post 🙏

[@vadimustinov9025]

Ppl have been quitting alcohol since they discovered alcohol, whenever that happened. Ppl quit before AA, and will continue to quit both in and outside AA. Alcohol was my escape from God into hell, now I stay clean to stay with God. God never intended alcohol as a "drink", but rather an antiseptic that we have been misusing as a drug. Drunkennes is a sin, as God says. Having said that, I do visit online AA and other anonymous mtgs as therapy. I used to self-medicate on poisons, now I self-medicate on group therapy and stay clean & sober. Now, I don't write any steps nor do any sponsoring; God told me that for me it's OK now to just go to mtgs and stay clean, and I now do what God tells me to. Thank you very much for your video❤

[@matthewcarlson3408]

I was indoctrinated behaviorally and eventually I fell so miserable parroting the literature and subjecting myself to bad relationships within that community. I realized I couldn't be me in twelve step. I lost myself in active substance abuse and even more in twelve step. I saw a lot of abuse of status in twelve step. I found myself pacifying actions and words I didn't believe. I left a year ago and drank to prove to myself it was ok. I noticed that I was conditioned to fear alcohol and grappled with the conditioning but have been fortunate enough to see it for what it is, brainwashing... So upon this reassessment I realized the conditioning of the disease model was only that,.. conditioning and not of my own experience but me blindly accepting others ideas as true. But deep down inside that dissonance caused me so much anguish. I now see that feeling as my truth my soul screaming for its voice!

[@robertogarcia3488]

It is in the way that we find God but what people don’t know is that God find them first. Some time it takes a long lived life to realice. Unfortunately, you do not need sobriety to realize that it’s like knowing between right and wrong, and still choose to do what is wrong or not knowing that we actually have a choice.

[@guymerritt4860]

I left AA because I really wanted to get drunk peacefully, and, without judgement. Actually, I quit drinking in one day and stayed sober for nine years - just did not wanna wake up feeling like crap, ever again. I started again and drank for about four years. Then, I quit completely about 30 years ago. I got a DUI (when I was drinking the second time around) and got sent to AA by the court and it never helped me, whatsoever. I'd leave those mandatory meetings and just wanna go drink some beer. Everyone's different, I guess. I was never swayed by all of the testimonies and did not like the insistence that I was powerless and somewhere a god was controlling stuff. When I wanted to quit, I quit - for me it was that simple.

[@GODemon13]

I went to AA about 30 years ago. I noticed the culty brainwash of 12 steps immediately. Instead, I learned how to moderate drinking on my own and now I only drink a few times a year, usually only 6 to 8 beers, then eat some food and get a good 8 hours sleep. I wake up feeling good. I'm so glad I left that brainwash cult when I did.

[@davidross9604]

I walked into my first AA meeting on July 13th 1983. I have always attended meetings ever since - I now don't say "My name is Dave and I am AN alcoholic" - I just say "Dave, alcoholic" Are you AN alcoholic or simply alcoholic? Pont to ponder perhaps - Be well

[@mariaquiet6211]

You really thought you said something. Hope it feels satisfying.

[@stephaniepoleson8891]

AA and NA really helped me for many years, so it would be wrong for me to criticise it. I feel appreciative of these fellowships. Then when they stopped working for me, I left, and have been doing things post AA/NA for the last two years. I find the cliquieness in fellowships really ridiculous.

[@lumin3370]

I finally googled “The Orange Papers” & then never went back to AA

[@davidemm829]

I don't believe in God and AA helped me...

[@CodyWright-pq3eq]

Helped you to do what? Race toward hell sober instead of inebriated?

[@EamonRyanGobShite]

@@CodyWright-pq3eq When he gets to hell he will beg for a drink.

[@mnmmnm8321]

Well done! 1 day at a time !

[@johnryall815]

Well said. Nailed it.

[@stevenc6705]

I learned the hard way of negotiating on my terms how this deadly disease wanted to kill me.

[@mikelowry5012]

Take what you want and leave the rest . Either way god bless you on your journey 😊

[@RecoveryMusician]

Thank you! You too!

[@JebKidd]

I totally get you I do recovery dharma and secular AA but I do them loosely I was never the egomaniac type that Bill wrote the steps for after going through the steps afew times having sponsors and many lapes I think iv now found myself as for giving back I volunteer at a foodbank and I'm OK with being me thanks for your post ❤❤❤

[@darrenfrye1889]

I've actually heard a 30 year sober AAer say that the 12 steps aren't for everyone.

[@RecoveryMusician]

It says that in the AA book too :)

[@ttttiiimmy10bit]

I dont go, but it freaks me out that everyone becomes the same person, saying the same stuff and thinking the same things. Weird.

[@Chris-wn6wg]

Interesting perspective of your point of view. Alcohol destroyed 15 years of my life that I can never get back. I agree to disagree on some of the things you said but I agree that AA ain’t for everyone and they seem a bit harsh with there rules the 12 steps ain’t for everyone also. I do agree that AA and the 12 steps have saved thousands of lives and has helped thousands more. I personally never got into the AA programs and meetings, never read the big book and never followed the 12 steps but here I am 5 years sober later. The thing is that I am an addict and alcoholic and will always be. Just because I’ve been sober 5 years doesn’t make me a non alcoholic. I am a beer away from ruining my life again or worse. Being sober as and addict or alcoholic is extremely hard but it is possible to be sober and stay sober with hard work and dedication. You saying that you’re not an alcoholic anymore because you are now sober is a F’n joke. If you never struggled with alcoholism and addiction to an extreme degree, then I would Iagree that you ain’t no alcoholic or addict. But if alcohol was your only way of life no matter how sober you are, you are literally a beer a way from destroying your sobriety and how hard it took to maintain clean. A real alcoholic an addict will always recognize and admit to be being an addict and alcoholic no matter how much time and years they have been sober. Happy you’re sober though and good for you. Keep grinding with your sobriety sister

[@RecoveryMusician]

Thanks. It’s up to me if I identify as an alcoholic these days or not - and I don’t. You can identify in whatever way helps you stay sober though :)

[@danielsanchez8037]

Sounds like your doing well and AA may not be for you. AA clearly says they do not have a monopoly on recovery. People get well in all sorts of different ways. God bless

[@kafkawilde4604]

Helpful discussion points, I agree we should not be polarised. I find AA helpful but there are many aspects I struggle with. Don't agree with illness metaphor. Not sure about the confessional character deficits, self flagellation aspects.

[@cloudymindtv85]

I stopped drinking after 25 years of being drunk everyday, went to aa after 2 years of sobriety, and they still wanted me to identify as an alchoolic, am not , I was able to stop and I was also able to have just one , as per aa thats my ego lol and I was wrong , because I was not in aa when I quit for them its like I never really quit. , Aa doesn’t empower people to quit, it wants them dependent on AA i was not powerless, one day I made a decision and I stuck too it.I was never accepted in any aa groupe because of that. So there it is I was an alcoholic now I am not I am recovered. Do you still call yourself a smoker after quiting cigarettes for 10years?

[@RecoveryMusician]

It’s absolute BS because it doesn’t even say in the book that you should call yourself an alcoholic - it suggests to introduce yourself as alcoholic to someone you might be trying to help - and that’s it. Many people in AA are insufferable and put people off.

[@kevinharrison3265]

AA worked for me for a while, but I saw no joy or freedom. Never really hurt or abused others in my drinking. I'm 62 and the mad drinking is over, but I enjoyed the conviviality of drinkers having a good time! 👍🙏❤️

[@jamescampbell7605]

Okay there Oliver Reed, I'm sure you hurt many with your "drinking" but were ignorant or unaware or just didn't care.

[@mylink.orb17]

No one 'used to be' an addict/alcoholic. Once an addict, always an addict. We are either active in our recovery or addiction.

[@RecoveryMusician]

Thats one perception - that’s not how a lot of people view it and that’s ok.

[@visam28]

Strongly disagree. If you had a habit of stealing when you were a teenager but realized it was wrong and stopped are you still a thief?

[@boxelder9147]

​@@visam28no. Theres a line that the true alcoholic (cant speak on the addict) crosses

[@RecoveryMusician]

Only according to some people in AA - it’s not objective truth.

[@GODemon13]

That's the brainwash speaking.

[@delizzadavila3657]

Aa is the best thing that ever happened to me, but I do not believe that it is the answer for everybody. The big book says we know only a little. That in my definition is humility. Not pretended to have it all and to be all. We cannot be all things to all people. There are people I love in AA and there are people I can't stand in AA. But that doesn't mean AA has anything to do with it. That's a people thing LOL. I pray you find what you're looking for and God bless you.

[@kevinsmith5318]

AA has only a 5-8% success rate. I read somewhere that on his deathbed Bill W. asked for alcohol… Hard to reconcile that information in my mind. There is a multitude of excellent online sobriety coaches (craig beck, annie grace, kevin o’hara, simon chappel just to name a few) that use current research and not an “approach” that is 90 years old.

[@waynek805]

Plus during his life he traded his alcohol addiction for a sex addiction, having many many partners over the years (mostly vulnerable female members of the group).

[@RobotClean138-lx1bo]

@waynek805 He also was involved in the LSD experiments put on by the CIA. Bill was also into occult practices. Lastly, he screwed several people out of royalties to the Big Book, but left 10%to his mistress Helen Wyn.

[@radicalcartoons2766]

I used Allan Carr's Easyway to break my 40-year addiction to booze since childhood. It cost me £5 in a charity shop, and took 1 week. No religion, no AA. You can get the book & CD free in your Library. I made a video about it, "An Artist's Journey to Alcohol Free". Hope it helps. Sober now for 6 years.

[@RecoveryMusician]

Thanks for sharing - I read that book to quit vaping 😁

[@85jongo]

I found people in AA to be controlling and hypocritical. Tried it off and on for years and it was more detrimental to me than helpful.

[@InvisibleJesus1919]

In AA I learned that sponsors are not licensed therapists and wishful thinking doesn't solve problems.

[@navagatingthroughthebeasts2908]

I love fellowship at least group in my town. Love program as well but im more into reading Bible myself but thats just me

[@MarkSmith-tp6zc]

No Godhead beats your problem, YOU do. I sent up a prayer when suffering and found no sympathy, only my willpower. Tough times but the act of will needed is immense when getting off it but oh so rewarding. I cannot see that the AA approach is any smarter than good old willpower and responsibility. You cannot expect anyone else to do it for you, that's a cop-out.

[@jamesdenson7616]

There are many other tools, Than A.A , and you have to find what works, If some people you don't fit in with, find another meeting, there all over the world. There's mental health therapy, Religion, Whatever works that helps you not pick up a drink. Thank you for posting this video, I've been sober since Jan 20th of this year, Had long periods of sobreity , been locked up, Runied my life from alchol, I could chat with you for a few hours to tell you the whole story, You're not alone, Remeber 1 day 1 thing at a time, and whatever it takes not to pick up a drink DO IT. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm always here for you! :)

[@robertoboehler-blumenau-sc8818]

I"m an atheist and I never joined AA because I always saw it as another religion, well it seems I wasn't so wrong after all.

[@grawakendream8980]

harm reduction is far more effective

[@RecoveryMusician]

Definitely is for a lot of people yes :)

[@nix2939]

Don't know why I was recommended this, I don't even drink. But good luck everyone I guess

[@shawsheen]

You talk about the alcoholic paradox

[@roscoewalker9741]

I just mainly go to birthday and speaker meetings

[@jasonabramson5649]

your very brave'

[@mikethornton4719]

Why are all of these AA KZbin clips from England

[@RecoveryMusician]

If you keep clicking on them they will keep appearing in your searches…..

[@simoncolles8315]

There’s an interesting article by Veronica valli - ‘the misinformation around aa and sobriety’. I don’t agree with it all, but it makes sense of what jars about the whole ‘alcoholic’ label and how people introduce themselves. I’ve come to understand aa as a point of access into a life of faith. When the idea of yourself as an alcoholic is an act of faith, in itself. After all, the only thing between oneself and the first drink is a ‘higher power’. That said I think aa is full of arseholes and idiots. As that article I mentioned corroborated. The fellowship is not a monolith and lots of examples of toxicity. The program itself (which DOESN’T start with an admission of ‘being an alcoholic) sort of is unassailable in principle tho. I think. Soz if that was a bit of rant. I struggled with everything that you’ve described for a loooooooong time

[@RecoveryMusician]

I like the AA book a lot, but AA has turned into a toxic religion that can’t be separated from the original writings unless you stay away from the people in my opinion 😂

[@royaallegra]

Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I also made a video as a testimony how Alcoholics Anonymous did not serve me 💫✨

[@briansharrow8290]

I love the old literature of AA but I'm not a big fan of modern AA . 2 different entities entirely. The old literature was not polarizing. Modern-day AA has some individuals who are mean spirited and dictatorial. Sad! But is principles before personalities. Hang with the winners. Meaning the ones who know how to love...

[@johnwest5449]

mind over matter you decide to control your drinking,smoking etc not it controlling you,,,,cold turkey and mean it,,not a lifetime addiction

[@jpsabbey]

I have resorted to drinking premix zero sugar cans, so far so good 🤔😊

[@RecoveryMusician]

Premix alcohol drinks?

[@jpsabbey]

@@RecoveryMusician Yes, I really only got into trouble drinking strong whisky because I just loved it too much, so I figure if I only allow myself the week premix whisky I should be ok 🤔... Time will tell.

[@RecoveryMusician]

​@@jpsabbey I hope things work out for you :)

[@jpsabbey]

@@RecoveryMusician Thank you 😉

[@robertogarcia3488]

Is not a curse, is a warning. Read how it works some have grave and mental disorders

[@RecoveryMusician]

I have read it - what am I missing?

[@bradleyriddell4745]

AA is marmite, very well said & perhaps the best way to conceive of AA & all other approaches that advocate ONE way & ONE way only - BIG BUCK THINKERS!!! Aka fundamentalists of all persuasions; fundamentalism is the same as any cult anywhere, anytime…😊🤗 I love marmite, especially with toasted cheese & as a spread under fried eggs on toast…weird but works for me & I love it. I also like apricot jam & sliced boiled eggs on toast……🤗😊

[@beckymcmanus3367]

Alot of what you say sounds neurodivergent. Just like 65% of AA. I addressed that AUDHD and the 40 year problem went " poof"

[@swerth]

very intelligent

[@enlighten2seven605]

You’re beautiful

[@RecoveryMusician]

You too

[@jumbojet8]

AA is definitely not the people nor what they say, it is the words (Spiritual Principles) in the textbooks - Big Book and 12x12. Focus on that and not the personalities or opinions of others.

[@RecoveryMusician]

Good point - hopefully I covered that sufficiently :)

[@GoldChampion23]

I love your videos, you are a beautiful and interesting woman. What supplements would you recommend for someone with generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder?

[@RecoveryMusician]

Oh thank you! I'm not an expert and everyone is different, so researching and try out different supplements is the way to go - Reddit is a great place for discussion about supplements and anxiety. Anecdotally, maca root made me feel more socially confident, and TMG worked well for general anxiety :)

[@scottfinnie.copisamajordf.5758]

It's nothing but drama.....boooooo hoooooo

[@mt_gox]

hint: Alan Carr 😉

[@MichaelNadilski-it9ts]

This lady must have got swarmed by guys trying to " help "

[@RecoveryMusician]

Yep - just look in the comment section!

[@robertogarcia3488]

Yep yep, you are an alcoholic. Alcoholic has a mind problem and is not a self help program. Alcoholic has a thinking problem. Not drinking or staying abstenerse from drinking doesn’t chang the fact once an alcoholic is all ways an alcoholic. This is the tepical read pg 30 of the big book.

[@RecoveryMusician]

The BB doesn’t actually say any of that. It’s ok for you to identify that way though - whatever helps. There isn’t even a consensus on the definition of alcoholic - the BB has a definition of its own and it very clear: “can’t stop once you start, and can’t stay stopped when you honestly want to”. It prescribes a set of instructions how to get out of this loop - if someone gets out of the loop without the BB instructions, it suggests they were “hard drinkers” rather than alcoholics. Many people realise they shouldn’t have even a sip of alcohol unless they want to get stuck in the loop again - some people can keep it up, others can’t. Everyone is different. Part of being honest with myself was dropping the dogmatic belief system I was desperately clinging onto out of fear, and asking myself what I actually believed about my own alcohol problems.

[@GODemon13]

Yep, that's the brainwash they feed you.

[@roland3769]

@@RecoveryMusician The more we tell ourselves that we are powerless over alcohol, the more appealing alcohol can become. Also, when we are sitting in a meeting hearing the horror stories of drinking, it can make having a drink more appealing. Because it gives us a feeling of hopelessness and despair around the situation, and we have wired our brains to think that alcohol relieves us from hopelessness and despair!! I enjoyed your video and well done for being honest with yourself and doing what is right for you.

[@jpsabbey]

Greetings from 🦘

[@stickystick105]

Jackarooooo!!!

[@Success4u247]

If you do the steps you will never have to do a utube clip ever again. . You’re like will become of service to others. Look up the history of sponsorship. I would strongly suggest that look up Ernie Kurts.

[@RecoveryMusician]

I’ve done the steps - I also sponsored people in AA, for many years and successfully too. Have you read the part of the book where it talks about problem drinkers and heavy drinkers? You don’t want those people in AA, especially sponsoring real alcoholics, because they water down the message - I’m one of them. You should be grateful I’m no longer infiltrating your groups. I mean this with sincerity.

[@black_beard_trucker]

She's gonna frigging relapse

[@RecoveryMusician]

😂 it’s been five years, happily married with a new baby on the way, a completely changed lifestyle and mindset…..but we will see I guess!

[@nechopesina2973]

🐘😂😂😂😂🐘

[@JoshuaBucci-no6fx]

Make your point!, stop being so apologetic

[@RecoveryMusician]

That's the way I communicate, I'm OK with it :)

[@patrickbatoha7831]

AA will kindly refund your misery

[@RecoveryMusician]

🤔 will it, how?

[@patrickbatoha7831]

@@RecoveryMusician unless I continue the experience the effect of Alcoholics Anonymous I will become restless irritable and discontent,aka the bondage of self. You can leave AA however if you practice the principles you can receive the same effect. If everyone left AA there would be no meetings . I understand how you can become disillusioned with some of the people in AA. I dont want to be diverted from the beauty of the forest by the ugliness of some of its trees. I am trying to be friendly and hope you never drink again. Dr Bob stated in the last paragraph in Dr Bob Nightmare, If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. I will have 30 years next anniversary, God is so good to me I feel guilty sometimes about it. With true love and friendship I wish you well. Over the years I've seen people who left for whatever reason then come limping back,it isn't pretty. I pray that doesn't happen to you. As far as the refund sounds like you're willing to call it even. Me and God love you

[@RecoveryMusician]

I’m glad God is good to you, he is good to me too.

[@robertogarcia3488]

You are sneaky 😈 😈 😈

[@RecoveryMusician]

How’s that?

[@Tee-t7j]

It is a criminal organization

[@nechopesina2973]

🐘🤣🤣🤣🤣🐘

[@bastaballe2153]

I quit the group because too many of them have my phone number