why I left. i'm sorry

[@IvanLamLJ]

I love you so much, thank you for being here. I'm crying again bc I thought so long and hard if I should make this video or not because I didn't know how you would react but thank you, I'm glad I shared this with you. I'm feeling so many emotions right now, but mostly good.

[@milkypeaach5271]

we're proud of you! always remember that we got your back

[@johanacastillo5174]

We love and appreciate you Ivan☺️💕

[@kayeoreum]

Sending a big huggg, we love youuuu

[@SippinTeaaa]

We missed you so much 💜

[@johnweeth7056]

So happy to have you back. Thank you for sharing and know that you are loved.

[@tiffanyhanks7742]

Knowing how hard you worked on your skin, I can imagine that it was devastating. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that and I am glad you had people who could be there for you. You are still amazing. You had some really big obstacles on your journey. I hope to see you more here and I am curious to see where you go from here.

[@IvanLamLJ]

Thank you 🥺❤️

[@alimatormusa7435]

There’s literally nothing for you to apologise for if anything I’m sorry you had to go through this💗 as for feeling hypocritical it’s not always easy to apply to yourself what your encourage to others especially through difficult times, thank you so much for coming back on here. Take as much time as you need to feel yourself on this platform again💗

[@alimatormusa7435]

We’re proud of you and we love you❤

[@IvanLamLJ]

Thank u so much 🥺

[@spilledmilk4461]

don’t feel bad for leaving. Your mental and emotional health is important and know that we all care about you :D 💛

[@yeeyeejones9962]

I don't even need to watch the video, it's ok. we missed you too. but we all waited :))

[@ALEXTV]

Stay strong! You got this hugs

[@mrdavidchang]

Hey Ivan, Thank you for opening up and sharing your story and the pain you went through for the past few years. You did what you had to for your own health and well being. Thank you for being raw and transparent with your pain, experience, and feelings. Be authentic and true to yourself. I hope as you go on this healing journey, you will find purpose and fullfilment in what you love, and love to do. I'm excited to see the person you will become in the future! Much love! 🖤

[@Moonsandtoons]

I missed you so much Ivan. But there was no need to apologize for taking time for yourself. Being insecure about your skin as an influencer is completely valid. So happy to see you back & that you’re doing better & I’m excited for you as well

[@IvanLamLJ]

Thank you so much for this

[@priyanasingh40]

I am so sorry for the things you went through. I pray that your skin will continue getting better along with your mental health. And also, please do not call yourself a hypocrite for telling your audience to love themselves when you had trouble doing so yourself. What you went through is not easy and could affect any person no matter how much they love and accept themselves. You’re beautiful and please take all the time you need to heal mentally. We subscribers will always be here to support you.

[@achivdon]

i clicked this so fast. Ivan- i love and missed you so MUCH!💗 not me crying from excitement- (while watching) the rawness of you speaking about feeling hypocritical preaching about self-love battling it within yourself- it really resonates with me so please know you are not alone... its definitely a journey. i'm still on my own personal growth journey etc. the break was well deserved- and i'm so happy that you took this time to really dive into who you are as you continue to evolve into your person your videos have brought me so much comfort, so i hope we are able to bring you comfort as well💗 again- I love you so much! Thank you for being vulnerable with us talking about everything thats happened- i appreciate it so so much

[@mixelle_0]

Was constantly wondering how you were doing during your time away so sorry that happened to you but very glad that you are at a better place mentally now ♡ Always rooting for your happiness, Ivan 🤍🫶🏽🤍

[@hayyaanhussain]

You dont owe us an apology angel 💕 we're just so hsppy you're back, and on my birthday too so thank you so much 💖

[@drewteora8169]

i love you ivan. i’ve been watching you for so long. i’m really proud of how far you have come & i really missed you while you were gone. it has been such a hard few years and it has been so isolating... i hope you continue to do what is best for you, but i also can’t wait to have you back regularly 🥰

[@mak-kun1637]

We missed you Ivannnn, everytime I asked myself if you were okay, glad you're back! Take care ;)

[@linoshug]

Honestly can’t wait to see your future videos! Glad to hear you’re doing better. Continue to take care of yourself

[@sad_lil_enby]

I missed you so much. Every once in a while I would just think to myself "I really hope Ivan is doing okay." You were the first person I ever knew of who came out as non-binary and your presence made it so much easier for me to accept myself. I'm so glad you're doing better, and you never have to apologize for taking care of yourself. We all love you so much. I'm really glad you're back and I can't wait for this new era of Ivan.

[@kat_the_mouse]

You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I am so proud of you.

[@justjoelee]

proud of you friend 🤍

[@emmaa1540]

Screw them. they don't know what they messed, and how much worth it to have someone as you in their life, just look what did you made and how much people they loves you and hase your back, you can do it and move on it will be hard at first you going to break down but you going to know that if they're fine without you also can be fine without them and if I were you I will be thankful for what I have done in this period of time and proud of myself. Look see if your health going to be good without these people then go for it. I don't know you very much I watched a few videos of yours and started to like, really hh you really gave me hope and that anyone can make some dreams come true you maybe didn't notice but you do give that energy that "me and you going to do it cheer up"so thank you so much for what you've done and what you're going to do thank you. I'm not really good at expressing feelings not good at English as well but I try hhh, I hope this massage got to your big heart and I hope you get better soon I'm dying to see your next video we love you remember that ^o^

[@Amae_rys]

I'm sorry for what happened on you, Ivan~ Please don't be too hard on yourself. We are always here for you~ We will always welcome you warmly❤️‍🔥💕🥺

[@henrybae276]

Shocked to hear how you've been hurting. All the monotonous nights I spent this past dreadful year constantly wondering who, out there, could be feeling as lonely as me. I'm going back in time to give you a hug because I really needed it. *SQUEEEEZE*

[@ambremer4762]

Hii you ^^ I know we don't know each other, but I give you a hug because nobody should feel lonely especially if it's not their choice 🫂 Hope you'll have a great day/week and that you are happy or will find all the happiness you deserve 😊 Love ya 🧡

[@lesegoditlhake3011]

This is my first time watching you and there was a reason KZbin recommend your video to me. I'm sure many, myself included, can relate to what you went through on some level. I'm glad you have opened up and shared this part of your life with us.You do not owe anybody anything and taking care of yourself is always the priority. Reading all the comments it is clear you have touched a lot of people and i hope you see and recognise all the love. I can feel the sincerity and love you emanate just from this one video.

[@jeymileal-lovessora]

Ivan love glad to see you again with your beautiful smile and also it’s okay was worried about you but glad to see you again a lot of things have happened in my life I had my graduation from my two year college that I previously attended and also got rejected by a guy that I confess to and didn’t feel the same about me so I was heartbroken but watched your videos to help me get back together and also currently facing a eating disorder is that whenever I eat something I get looked down on by my parents and my siblings tell them to stop because If they don’t I could fall into a further eating disorder and also I started at a new college in Manhattan last year and about to enter my senior year of college at this one but I’m happy to see you again my heart got so happy and skipped a beat when I saw you also I had ring worm on my arm it was painful I covered my arm with a sweater just wanting to hide it and currently fighting a small depression I had I cried and didn’t eat a lot my heart broke when you started crying I just locked myself up in the bathroom also I just want to reach into the screen and hug you and relationships suck I had two broken hearts in high school freshman and junior year and I started dating when I was 15 years old and stopped dating when I was 18 years old and now 23 years old girl I’m still single also you are beautiful and adorable and I’m willing to do whatever it is for you weather it means packing my bags and giving you comfort and happiness and attention I would drop everything for you and don’t listen to the outside world they are just toxic we love you for being you we will always be here waiting for you your health comes first also I have been watching you since I was 20 years old these past 3 years you have helped me tremendously with my depression and stress and disorder that I’m slowly getting over but also now I’m getting over the obstacles that are in my way and thanks to you I have conquered them and felt proud of my self I love you with all my heart and soul I would give you my heart to keep you alive and keep making more people happy and joyful

[@roryroopa]

This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I just want to reach through the screen and hug you. You're strong for still being here. It's not easy to turn pain and suffering into something, but just know your story will raise awareness. Your story will support others going through something similar. Much love to you during this tough time, Ivan 💜 Edit: When you said, "I've got this, you've got this," I started crying. Belief is so beautiful and powerful. It's how I got through my depression/suicidal thoughts. To whoever is reading this, believe in yourself.

[@damianhxang5422]

Hey Ivan, First and foremost, thank you for sharing--it took courage just to be vulnerable. I've missed you, I've missed your content. You said that you thought you were filling a void when the pandemic starts but you actually have kept me company when I was quarantined. Your videos are so powerful, you have no idea how it inspired and gave me confidence. Whenever people ask me if I have any favorite KZbinr, you're literally the first on top of my head. I've never felt more comfortable just to explore using makeup, exploring my fashion, etc. Similar to you, I grow up in a conservative family from Southeast Asia. I've sent you some DMs just wishing that you'd read how I felt every time your posts have moved me. Keep doing what you're doing and I'm and always be moved by how you've made my dark days brighter and how you've boosted my confidence. Thank you for being you. I'm 100000000% you've touched so many lives with your content. I know there are people like me out there who have enjoyed being with you through your contents. You've worked hard and we all know it. I'm so proud of you and so should you towards how you're growing. I wish you all the joy and happiness. You are a beautiful human being and I'm saying this just to remind you how much you've helped me grow. Again, thank you so much. Keep moving forward :)

[@IvanLamLJ]

This means so much to me, thank you for sharing 🥺❤️🥹

[@tealmarks6085]

I just saw the notification for the video not long after I shared a post about my drawing on Instagram, I’m so happy to see you posting again, I’m happy you took a break to find yourself and I’m sad to hear all your struggles but I hope all the people who truly love and appreciate your videos will always be there for you even if you need time away, you will always be loved 💕always you are beautiful not just on the outside but on the inside 🙈

[@kayeoreum]

OMG, we missed you so much! I was talking about you with a friend yesterday! You was there for me when i was on a really hard time during pandemic and you dont even know how much it means to me that you are okay now and we know, thats real life and the fact that you are here letting us know how much it hurts, how much life can hurt sometimes, its bc we still here for you and you still being a home for us to watch, like a closed friend of us. so i think i never said this before, but thank you so much for your videos and your channel, for all the good moments that you shared with us! I'm so happy, i hope you are doing well & healthy, just taking your time and i'll be sending you lots of love and good energy, take care, my friend💖

[@wc8836]

Thank you so much for sharing Ivan. Recently I got a burn around my eyes and it got infected. I am currently feeling very low and insecure. Your video reminds me that things will get better and I am not alone. Thank you. Xoxo.

[@hamnakhan3656]

As someone whose been with severe acne for years without anything working I wanna give you a hug cuz I finally feel you’re someone I can relate to! I’m myself looking into chemical peels and lasers and now I’m terrified! At the same time I going through a scary relationship and I’m scared of loosing it too. it feels like I'm watching a cliff near. I understand you. giving so much love out to you!

[@ciloves]

Poor babe. I’m sending you so much love

[@HistoricGentleman]

Ivan, please know that I understand completely and am here to support you. I too have had to battle so many similar aspects. This last year for me was a very hard straw, I had always been proud that my skin had never looked my age but this year I have had to deal with bad scarring from skin cancer. It has been such a kick in the shin, but your videos have been a bit of therapy as it gives me hope that when I am self conscious of my scars you have given me some skills to help conceal them in the hopes to restore my confidence. So please do remember you do touch our lives, we just hope we touch yours as well.

[@ariesdragon4950]

We love you and I know that your going through a hard time I'm happy that your doing better now so not pressure yourself. Take it little by little no rush we love you so much and take care of yourself.

[@brianmillis6077]

Oh my goodness, I'm sorry that happened to you, I still love, love, love you!!!! ❤️

[@nicholasjohnson5944]

Oh wonderful, beautiful Ivan!!!!! How absolutely fantastic it is to see you!!! Many, many thanks for sharing what you have gone through this past year, being vulnerable and trusting us enough to tell your experiences!!! We adore you, and we are here for you, delightful Ivan!!!!! 😀

[@lou868]

sending you so much love 💗 we’ll always support you!

[@mylcrowl]

Love you so much Ivan! Sending you so much love you way, try to be not so hard on yourself 😭💞💞💞💞

[@bonniedavis5603]

Sending love 💕 I hope that you will continue to share your journey with us

[@idaniko1511]

Oh sweetie... You are NOT a hypocrite. It's wonderful to see you're better. Cry, scream, let it all out... there's no other way to deal with emotins, you need to express them, or they will blow you up from the inside. From now on, everything will be only better, Ivan! You have so much support. I'm happy that you shared this with us. And... Be who you are, Love. Not who you suppose to be ❤. Sending you a big package full of love!

[@ames_elaine]

you got me tearing up sis. as someone who has a rough past couple years i appreciate you being so vulnerable w/ us. i hope things continue to get better for you!

[@orenboi]

omgggg i missed you so much i’m so happy seeing this notification i hope u are well and happy ivan u bring me so much comfort

[@dhawkins1035]

Wow, what an outstandingly, heart-breakingly beautiful human being! So sorry you've had a rough time the last couple of years. It has been particularly tough on outgoing, sharing types of people- extroverts so to speak. The isolation has been choking for them. Glad you are feeling better. So glad YT recommended your channel. Hang in there!

[@_whois.liu.c]

Aww, Ivan,, I missed you so much!! I'm so sorry about everything that happened to you, thank you for opening up to us about it and I'm glad you're in a better headspace now.

[@septnovel]

Ivan please don't be so hard on yourself. ❤️ Just so glad that you're alright now and I was so worried about you and I was so scared. You're the one that help me with going through life and ever since I discovered you and I learn to take of myself now and knowing what's best. Honestly hearing you're story and how strong you are being to keep back tears I just wanna hug 🫂 you and because it just really heartbreaking 🥺 now I am so sorry that you've gone through so much. Keep on trying, just keep on trying. Love you 💕 you'll be Alright

[@karajam7]

Aw I’m so happy that you are back, but if you ever need another break you can take the time again. You should know everyone of us here are here for you and we love you. Just remember even when you are encouraging us but aren’t doing it for you, everyone is always harder on themselves than on others, so don’t feel like a hypocrite. Just look out for yourself and we will always be here💕 stay strong!!

[@veronicaguadalupe9684]

Aw ivan!!! I really feel for you. I went thru something similar towards the last half of 2020 when I suddenly developed very severe acne and gained some weight. I realized a large part of self love is self grace: being able to give yourself grace when it feels hard to love yourself. I’m so happy to hear you’re doing better. Also I relate so much to your sensitivity and emotionality lol. Can I ask what your big 3 is?

[@thebilliexojean]

I first found you on IG some months ago, but a content creator I found on YT had you listed under their favorites, and I recognized your name and came to your page right away to subscribe. I’m so glad you kept going. I’m so glad you sought help when you knew you needed it. I’m so grateful to have found you and to get glimpses of the kind of person you are. What you’ve chosen to share and continue to share has impacted me deeply, and I want you to know that you have helped me to embrace my own rawness and truth. You are such a beautiful person. No matter what you are doing or not doing, you are loved and you are worthy. Sending love always from New Orleans 💜

[@junwonping]

This is my first ever comment in KZbin, and I think you're brave for what you've had going thru. JIA YOU !

[@rudepunk1986]

I appreciate your openness, and I’m glad you’re back. You are talented, beautiful and valued. I always liked your sincerity, even when you were hiding parts of yourself, you’ve always come across as genuine and vulnerable which helps me to feel less alone. I hope your healing keeps going well, you deserve to be confident and happy. Much love!

[@imgeniusish]

I can relate so much to the things you talked about TwT its totally understandable how depressed you felt about your skin (and everything else you mentioned too!) since our skin is our closest contact to the world, one of our most defining physical traits and we even say "i feel nice/awful/etc in my skin" and especially since you made so much effort to take care of it, it must have been devastating to see all that go to waste. i recently had a really bad skin condition all over my body and even on my face sometimes and i too, was devastated by it because ive been to intense therapy this year and worked a lot on myself and i felt like it was so so not fair that when i was finally in a much better place mentally, my physical health just had to get in the way of me feeling content. eventually my rashes disappeared and im doing kind of okay mentally as well but i know i cant neglect myself and im doing my best to work on and take care of myself. im so sorry you had to go through these hard times, but i think its so admirable that you decided to learn to be okay by yourself, i love that for you!! i feel like most people put too much emphasis on relationships and neglect themselves in the meantime. they are probably way too scared of being lonely so they give themselves up just to have someone around at all times. while i understand that, i do my best to put myself first and i never stay in relationships i dont feel fulfilled in because I realized that being alone doesnt have to mean im lonely. it gives me the chance to be with me, to work on myself, to do things for me and to feel okay on my own and i value that more than anything. to see that you are also walking this road makes me so happy and validated💞 also, about crying: i dont see it as a weakness but more as a strenght! being so vulnerable and open and honest about your feelings is something i have to work on a lot and im so in awe of you for being able to do it. i learned that feeling your feelings and being honest with yourself and the world about them is one of the most important things and its so much healthier than pressing them down until they make you sick! so i guess what im saying is: im so so so proud of you and i love love love you so much! im glad you could take this break and although i missed you i hope you wont hesitate to take a break whenever you need it and put yourself first❤️ you are such a bright little star on my horizon, giving me hope and reminding me of whats important in my journey of trying to love myself. like you said, we grow every day and if we can support each other through the good and the hard times i think we can make it✨ sorry this got so long haha, im r_kives_ on insta btw and i leave long comments on there too sometimes lololol anyway, sending you love and im looking forward to your next video!!❤️

[@suaziz6510]

Not me crying as soon as the video started! Honestly, for whatever reason you became a comfort person really quickly and when you want away, it was hard to not be able to watch your videos. However, knowing that you've been going through such a difficult and life changing time makes me incredibly proud of you. Proud because of how strong, resilient and compassionate you are and have become. You are a beautiful, wonderful and sensational person. Please take your time to property heal and find yourself. I admire you.

[@nurel4]

I’m so happy to see you, Ivan. I’m so sorry to hear of your recent struggles. I hope you continue to push back on any shame and find comfort in knowing there are those of us who are cheering for you. 🤗

[@rakeshatres2031]

love you Ivan! we are with you all the way, always

[@ABT8321]

I'm super glad to see you are back Ivan! I'm so sorry that all those things happened to you but it's nice to see that you are becoming more understanding and accepting of yourself. Don't listen to the negative words from those people. You are my favourite skin care youtuber without a doubt and have helped my skin immensely.

[@vander9]

Omg I was trying to remember your name because I missed your videos 💖

[@SimplyAnca7]

It was nice to see you again! I am glad you are better and I hope things will go even better. I will always be happy to see you whenever you come back with a new video. 💜

[@RoomWithJohnny]

I don't know who you are but the YT Algorithm lead me here. I'm sorry that you had to go through all that and I hope peace/happiness lies in your near future! Stay Strong for us and yourself! 💜 P.S: I'm now a new subscriber

[@DianeH2038]

oh fuck, I'm so glad you're okay. things that change your face, even temporarily, can really affect your own idea of WHO YOU ARE. I just have a big bump (from falling) on my forehead that turned into a black eye (from the migration of blood and swelling moving downwards via gravity), and I was getting so depressed just from a few days of that. months of that is so awfully rough on the psyche. but you are so beautiful, from inside out, and I'm glad you're still with us (of course) and still talking. you are LOVED and you ARE love. FYI, I was a serial monogamist and didn't give myself a break until maybe 7 years ago -- and I'm 57 now. I'm sorry you're going through pain, but I'm glad you're not waiting as long as I did. I'm slow at healing and learning personal growth/emotional stuff and these past 7 years has really helped me feel more together on my own terms. most people don't need that kind of time, I'm sure, but I did and still do. when I'm ready to have a partner again, I'll look, but for now, I've learned so much more empathy, more about other people and their perspectives and experiences, and I love living a more stable life. you will do well too, my sweet youtube friend.

[@milkypeaach5271]

ivan!!! i started watching your vlogs a few months ago and been wondering why you stopped uploading videos, so i caught you up on instagram to see if you're doing fine :)) thank you for sharing your story and please don't feel bad for being inactive here on yt, as long as you are comfortable with it

[@astrosyo799]

Don't be Sorry, Ivan. We will always support you ❤ ♥

[@MoonlightDestiny827]

Thank you for sharing your story, it's inspirational. Please know that we love you inside and out and are here to support you ❤️

[@Akita721]

I wish i could just give you a hug 😭 it took a lot of courage to open up and express everything but Im so glad ur doing better love! In myself am struggling with my own inner thoughts too but i know well get through this rough patch togetherrr 💜💜💜

[@Amanda---]

I'm so sorry you had to suffer through this alone. I am so sorry this happened to you. Hugs. Thank you for sharing your story. 💯💕

[@amyt.7401]

ivan, thank you for sharing. im glad youre doing better!! im routing for you

[@x3MiSsCupCake3x]

I cried so much watching this and it was healing for me too somehow. I hope youll experience so much happiness coming up now. i rly hope you get to heal fully and be happier

[@d0uble_.a]

Thank you so much for putting it out there that breaks are needed sometimes

[@brevindomingo4277]

thank you for sharing, ivan. i’m going through my first breakup, so this was very helpful to hear. we love you 💖

[@crystalsnow9620]

i'm glad you're doing better now. i resonated so much about feeling hypocrite while preaching about self love because self love is so so hard sometimes. it's really a journey. take care of yourself 💗

[@finderoftruthknowerofsecre3429]

Been subscribed for a few yrs now , and I rarely comment on literally anything on youtube. But I had to say.... glad you're back & seriously take all the time you need, youtube will always be here. Seems like a lot of people I know (off & online ) have been going through some transformative experiences in the past few yrs ( myself included). you're not alone , you reinforced that with your video and here I am doing the same in my writing . Be well

[@mmarchism]

💗 thank you for being so vulnerable, thank you for sharing. you've helped me through dark times, and im forever grateful, and i hope you know you deserve the world and more 💌

[@Leona8Cooper]

Oh Ivan, I'm so sorry. That's a lot of pain. I'm thankful for you and that you shared this.

[@andrewbiden]

good reminder of dangers of cosmetic procedures and chasing after “perfection” . no one should feel like they have to get all these procedures and strong creams.

[@samarasaldana4279]

I missed you, I’m proud and glad you’re back! Your words are always so motivating to me, I always take time to read your updates and post because they are always so meaningful, full of inspiration, and gentle reminds. Im so glad you’re back. We’ve got this! 💕

[@Cristyface]

Yay! Love to have you back! I always loved your calming aura, and how honest you were about your feelings. Everyone needs a break sometimes, and I'm glad you took yours. Wishing you a wonderful rest of the year and onwards!

[@teresapham4304]

You have nothing to apologize for. Similar to you with your skin journey, I used to have super clear skin but once I started birth control my face was full of acne. I am still struggling with acne and also the insecurities of going out. I blamed myself for going on birth control even though I chose to because my period cramps were making me faint or throw up. Your vulnerability is a strength Ivan and I am proud of you for coming this far. This video really affirmed to me that I am not alone in my feelings and struggles. Thank you for sharing. Sending you lots of love!

[@brianmillis6077]

Ivan, this video is crushing me, I am so sorry you where hurt. Those others had to of known about you before they dated you, and they are so WRONG for what they said and how you where treated, just sticking me. I have trust issues, serious heart break too I have had, gave my ALL and wasn't enough for them. God I could go one and on and it's not about me, its about you beautiful human, You Got This!!!!!! Much Love!!! ❤️🙏❤️

[@XcuseMyCharisma_]

We miss and love you so much. Please continue doing what is essentially right for you. As long as you are happy and healthy then that's all that matters, just always remember that you're never truly alone. We'll always be there for you. 💕🥺✨️

[@jokerswild01]

Nice job Ivan, your great !!!! Thanks for the "Grand Re opening" ... lol... glad to see you. Peace

[@palpatusd6672]

OMG...my jaw is still on the ground...so glad you came back to us...

[@AsamiAri]

I missed you Ivan, and I love your authentic self 🥲🥲🥲

[@tiffanywang3833]

I only watched a few of your videos over the last few years so I don’t have a ton of context but watching you in this video just makes me want to give you the biggest hug. You are so so so brave. I don’t even really know you but I feel really proud of you. You’ve obviously had to sit with yourself and your hurt a lot the last year and it’s very apparent that it was, and probably still is, painful and uncomfortable. You are so strong and amazing!! Sending love your way 💕

[@leosternchen5688]

We love and understand you! It is good that you took time for yourself and we are so proud of you for overcoming this difficult time❤️

[@nowey2251]

The joy I got just seeing you pop up in my sub box 🥹💜 love your videos! I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That is not easy to deal with. I’m so happy you’re in a better place and I hope that you’re able to continue to feel better! We’re happy to have you back whenever 💜

[@bernardoandradepuyol3026]

I love you too Ivan. I'm going through some bad shit now too and I spend a lot of time crying and feeling useless and I identify with you A LOT. Thank you for being so sweet, for making me company sometimes e just exist with the power of being you. Take your time, we are not alone

[@Hakuismyman715]

I’m happy to see you and hear that you’re feeling better after taking a much needed break. I’ve always appreciated how vulnerable you are and how open you talk about your mental health and self esteem, especially as a male, I know that it’s really hard to do that. I’m so sorry to hear about what happened with your skin and I can’t imagine how you felt during the process of trying to heal it and having to wait for it to start healing significantly. People really underestimate how much of an impact your skin has on your well-being and self esteem and it can cause so much anxiety and depression if you’re struggling with burns, skin conditions and/or severe acne. We all care so much about you and you never need to apologize for needing time to heal. I’m just happy to hear that you’re doing okay now and you have a good support system who cared for you at your lowest. As someone with low esteem and who used to have interest in whomever showed attention to me too, it’s so hard to spend time with yourself and self reflect on those things. Being loving and compassionate to yourself is so hard when struggling with anxiety and depression but you deserve it so much and you also deserve someone who genuinely loves you and respects your choices. It hurts so badly when the person you love makes you feel bad about yourself or shames you for exploring your interests but to be courageous and continue to stay true to yourself takes so much strength. You are a kind and positive soul and with some healing and self care work I hope you start to feel that way and become more kind to yourself too. Thank you for updating us and I’m so happy you’re feeling better enough to let us know what’s been going on. I wish you all the best and will be keeping an eye out for your content and posts on Instagram ❤️

[@sidneytep4363]

i’m so glad you’re back :) you’re beautiful no matter what

[@di5oriented]

You are loved and beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story 💕

[@spirtedaway2]

You are beautiful as you are...sorry for what you went and what you are going through. Continue to heal and feel better.

[@devoted2nature_movies]

Glad you're back. Warm hugs from the Netherlands.

[@orldaporl]

IVAN!!! We missed you! So glad that you are back and okay. Thank you for opening up. I hope you continue to get better! We will always be here for you, waiting for your next content to support you!!!

[@enchantrathomas7761]

Missed you! Glad to see you back! You look AMAZING! No need to apologize for taking time for YOU. ❤️

[@vismaya2740]

OMGGGGGGGGGGG IVANNNNN I ALMOST CRIED RN ! I HAVE BEEN SO CONFUSED AND WONDERING FROM MONTHS WHY YOU WEREN'T UPLOADING ANYTHING AND WAS TOO WORRIED. After weeks I opened youtube and the first video popped up was yours. I feel really happy to see you hereee. MISSED YOU A LOT IVAN !!! GLAD U R SAFE . SO PROUD OF YOU FOR GOING THROUGH ALL THOSE TOUGH TIMES

[@angelhines3433]

Its okay love , I know I spoke to you on instagram but you don't have to be ashamed about what happened . We are always going to be here for you . Just knowing that your doing better , and you moved passed this obstacle . And its made you stronger 💙💙 much love ~ tenshiidono

[@shalalalalamyohmy]

Ivan, we support you and understand if you needed a break. Please take care of yourself, and know that you are loved and you deserve the kindest love back to you. We are so proud of you, and thank you for sharing these parts of you with us 🤍

[@chburashka]

ohmygod ivan :( as a long time subscriber it breaks my heart to hear about everything you went through this past year. i hope i can give you at least a little comfort by telling you that you're more than your skin, despite it being the thing your youtube channel revolved around. what happened can't be taken back. and at times when the guilt is gnawing in your thoughts remind yourself how ultimately people will still love you and want to be your friend. that you're not a hypocrite for sometimes not being able to love yourself. you're a kind person and you have been so unfairly treated by people you held dear. i'm so glad you had the right support around you during these hard times. i hope things will get easier for you and that you continue exploring your identity. what's most important right now is that you take time to continue to heal mentally from the trauma that you went through. sending lots of love

[@tina0094]

Thank you for showing your vulnerable side.

[@kellymarsh2266]

I've never watched your videos before, but I have to say this is one of the realist video's I have ever seen. I just want to give you a hug. New subscriber for sure 💜

[@fureddosensei8886]

I literally cried when you said "I missed you" 😭 We can never understand your pain, but we feel you, Ivan. Sending hugs and love ❤️

[@kongvang2873]

Ivan, We all love you. We have been waiting for you every single day. Be strong and be YOU 😀

[@MOYPH.]

It could have happened to anyone, don't feel bad. Also, you are beautiful with rosacea or not. People with blemishes don't need to be ashamed. Sending love

[@ZZIKOish]

We love you, Ivan! Thank you for sharing your journey 💕 especially to your viewers. Can’t wait to see what the future holds!!!