WHY I'M NO LONGER ASEXUAL | My most personal chat ever

[@giuliadimech2390]

Heyy Holly, don’t ever feel like you have to be stagnant just because you’ve said something in the past. People grow, learn from experiences and change. We love watching you grow and flourish. Love you and so proud of you. ❤

[@HollyGabrielle]

this honestly makes so so so happy and it really means a lot - thank you 💚✨

[@giuliadimech2390]

❤️❤️

[@sophieirwin3497]

Having your periods back that’s helped your hormones and feelings. And feelings change depending on time or stage of life

[@HollyGabrielle]

yes exactly, a lot of factors can play a role in this but hormones have definitely been a big one for me!

[@themoores9817]

I just want to say you should be really proud of yourself for talking about a subject so sensitively in an open manner with the KZbin viewers. If I had a teenage daughter, I would be hoping she would look up to somebody like you as an example of how you can become comfortable with who you are. Have a wonderful, happy and healthy 2023……. The best is yet to come for you xx

[@HollyGabrielle]

this has mad my day reading this 🥺💚 honestly, thank you so so much and i only hope to make those listening feel less alone if they've been in a similar situation, and to also open up these conversations for all of us to have in real life, as well as online 👌🏻

[@1SophieDEF1]

This makes me feel so seen! I didn't have any interests in relationships, and certainly no interest in sex, until around the age of 20 because I'd had anorexia since I was 13. Now I'm really belatedly resuming my exploration of my sexuality & am suddenly having this experience of crushes & romantic feelings everyone else has been having around me for years! Thank you for shedding a light on this topic Holly, it genuinely means the world to me. Sending so much love

[@Sofia-gk9sn]

When you lose your periods you also lose your libido. It’s common to lose all attraction and have zero interest in a relationship. I know I lost all romantic/ sexual interest for a good year. Now your period is back and hormones are more regular, it’s likely that this has played a role in your recent experiences❤️ Thank you for sharing your story though and being so honest❤️

[@HollyGabrielle]

i agree! it's just that there doesn't seem to be that much research in this area sadly. but thank you so so much for always being so understanding and supportive 💚✨

[@Pantra96]

Yes! Hormones are KEY to sexuality. I have endometriosis, and at my worst, I couldn't even think of being sexually active for months, even years. I got an IUD (Mirena) and though one of the side effects of hormonal birth control is lower libido, for me it did the opposite! I stopped having pains and my hormones were suddenly under control. I also totally lost my period (and haven't had one for almost 3 years now), lost about 20kg of weight (44lbs) and I have a higher libido than ever, at the ripe age of 27. I also believe we evolve and change every day. I am nowhere near the same person I was just 5 years ago, and there's no shame in that.

[@localabsurdist6661]

@@Pantra96 yeah and that’s why she shouldn’t use the word asexual. There’s a difference in being sick and being ace.

[@lenkasustackova4560]

​@@Pantra96 hormones are KEY TO LIBIDO, not sexuality as a whole.. asexuals don't have broken hormones

[@bliss7166]

I absolutely love these two videos that you’ve made about your sexuality because I have been on the exact same timeline, going through the exact same experiences as you! It’s so comforting to know that I’m not alone and other people go through very similar experiences as me. I was a late bloomer and thought I was asexual for the longest time because of body image issues and not wanting to pursue intimacy with anyone but then I met my boyfriend and realised I’m not asexual at all hahah

[@HollyGabrielle]

this is exactly why i make these videos - to make you feel less alone, because you're definitely not 💚

[@Pineapple_pizza64]

I feel like you have grown so much, you used to be so rigid and strict and set in your ways and it’s like you’ve really softened and become open minded. You seem so much happier too 😊

[@qwr742]

Well that's a backhand compliment if there ever was one 😅

[@Pineapple_pizza64]

@@qwr742 what?! It wasn’t meant to be!

[@qwr742]

@@Pineapple_pizza64 yeah I can see that too, it's just it was juuust edging in that direction.

[@Pineapple_pizza64]

@@qwr742 how? I’m so confused

[@aconspiracyunmasked]

Doesn’t seem like a backhanded compliment to me 🤷‍♀️

[@melodieknowsit]

Hello Holly, as an asexual girl I really appreciate your courage for making this video. I have, honestly, remembered you as an asexual too but it's not because you are no longer asexual that your ace followers will feel suddenly so distant from you. Being asexual or not is just how we are 💌On a side note, I would love to add that some asexuals can feel romantic feelings too, for instance I identify as heteroromantic asexual in the sense that I can feel romantic attraction towards boys, while some asexuals do not feel romantic feelings at all.

[@localabsurdist6661]

Also ace people can be sex favorable and sex neutral too

[@funnyllama7109]

Hey Holly! Thank you for sharing your story. However, as an asexual person, I'd like to add some comments. Your narrative kinda supports the negative and sceptic voices about asexuality. We get these all the time. That we're "stone cold". That we've never had (good) sex. That we're just afraid of sex. That we have no libido. That we don't want a relationship. That we have to be, and can be fixed, because we don't actually exist. Asexuality is about only one thing: we don't feel sexual attraction (or just rarely). We can be in a relationship, we can have sex, we can have high libido, we can watch p.rnograpy, we can admire our spouse's beauty, we can be sex-favorable etc. We are people. Asexuality is a journey, labels can change, but please don't harm ace people by supporting those stereotypes. You kinda sound like asexuality was a huge burden to you and thank God you're "finally straight". Look at the comments, some people are already starting to invalidate asexuality in general! It means that you have a huge influence on your followers. Please use it for good, some clarification might be nice in view of the aces who might feel invalidaded after watching this (just like me). I'm sure the intention was good, and you're very brave!

[@musikhamster01]

This!

[@Littlevisser]

Delete this.

[@dinayaffe1280]

I think by you being so open like this, it shows how authentic you really are. I feel like it says something about your personality, that you felt you needed to share something that you felt could change the perception of you to others. The good thing I have found about growing up, is letting go of tags. People can like it or not, this is you and that's the most important thing. You go to bed at night with yourself and have to wake up with yourself, so before hiding any part of yourself, you need the space for yourself to just be. I used to be wrapped up in what people perceived of me and how uncomfortable they will feel if I change, but again, this is my life and so people will either take it or leave it. Love seeing the changes you have made throughout the years! It's an amazing journey.

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@giovannabaldoni8606]

You were really brave to share these experiences publicly. You must never be afraid to show yourself for who you are, everyone has the right to create their own identity without fear of being judged by others. This is you and all that matters is that you're okay with it. Everyone has their own experiences and what matters is that we don't make our own choices, just for fear of lagging behind the others. I certainly believe that having a romantic relationship with someone is not something we should set ourselves as a goal (which we often publicly deny, but keep it in the back of our minds). The important thing is first of all to feel good about yourself, then surely meeting the right person will certainly be an extraordinary experience that will make you grow a lot as an individual and allow you to feel loved and understood. I have been in a relationship that has lasted for 7 years and I can tell you that I never thought that meeting the right person was a possible thing for me; I've always thought I was too introverted, strange and I never wanted to settle for someone I didn't really feel at ease with and with whom I didn't have almost total harmony and complicity. Each of us has different experiences and based on these experiences he sees things differently; having said that, I wish you one day to find someone who loves you fully for who you are and with whom you can be fully yourself. Never give up on this idea, but in the meantime keep living your life, because it will come spontaneously and not forced. When we learn to truly accept who we are and truly know who we are, only then we can allow others to get closer to us and build a healthy and genuine relationship. I am more and more convinced that when we feel good about ourselves, only then everything else comes by itself. Never forget that we all deserve to feel truly loved. Never give up for fear of not being enough! You are more than enough!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@Sakura15020215]

Holly, thank you so much for sharing this video 💕 I have been through a similar experience myself. I used to feel attracted to people when I was in high school but it stopped at the beginning of uni. I believe the fact that I was taking the pill influenced it to some extent, but I have also realized that I tend to need an emotional attachment to a person first before feeling sexually attracted to them, it always pass through personality, and in that period I didn't click with anyone in particular. Anyway it's a journey of self discovery we are all on, and I think it's very important for us late bloomers to have someone that talks about that, and to understand it's not abnormal to change or even be scared about these things. So thank you very much for sharing 🥰 I'm sending you a warm embrace from Italy 🇮🇹

[@andreaochoacordova9790]

Thank you for sharing this with us, Holly! I'm so glad that you had the opportunity to experience and come to terms with your sexuality at your own pace, and at the same time, that the asexual community, testimonies and experiences helped you in doing so. As someone else said in another comment, the labels are not permanent, and your would never feel "forced" to stay with one just because you "picked" it first but, at the same time, they can be very helpful while navigating our self-discovery journey. As an asexual myself I'd like to say thanks for how you addressed the topic, without dismissing asexuality as a valid orientation. A lot of people draw on the "biological explanation" to argue that asexuality is nothing but hormonal imbalance while, in fact, it is more related to the "sexual attraction" part rather than libido.

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@emegvf]

11:11 omg this. My whole life I’ve been asexual and autistic. I never showed interest in anyone and wanted to be alone. Recently I’ve been interested in dating but it’s so overwhelming and scary. I’ve been to ashamed to talk to my family because it’s just embarrassing to me. I’ve tried to navigate it alone and that’s just made me feel even worse. I’m still asexual but I want to date. It’s just hard. Thank you for being vulnerable and talking about this because it’s very similar to what I’ve been going through. I’m definitely going to be more open with my sister from now on. I’m allowed to change as I grow :)

[@niajohns746]

I was about 25-26 when I first had s*x. And that was through choice. I just wasn’t ready before that. I don’t regret waiting or anything. It’s really important to do what’s right and comfortable to you 😊 I wouldn’t call myself asexual but I’m definitely not the most sexual person in the world. I rarely feel the want to be sexual x

[@HollyGabrielle]

exactly, no one should ever feel pressured in to doing something just because they feel 'late to the party' or 'different' . . . everyone is going through life at their own pace and that is a beautiful thing 💚

[@emm-jayymontagne1197]

I’m 31 and still haven’t

[@niajohns746]

@@emm-jayymontagne1197 Absolutely nothing wrong with that :) Aslong as you’re happy and healthy - nothing else matter (in my opinion)

[@riakulkarni]

Hi Holly, although you absolutely did not owe us this information, I'm incredibly proud of how far you've come. It's so hard to open up to your own close ones, but to think to open up to such a large audience is a whole other thing. You should be proud of yourself too :)

[@HollyGabrielle]

aww thank you! i didn't feel at all pressured to talk about this, and it was in fact quite the opposite! i love sharing this with you guys online and it feels incredibly liberating to do so ✨ps: i loveeee your username 😉

[@riakulkarni]

@@HollyGabrielle hehe thank you 😋

[@mrmaker767]

Oh my god you don’t even understand how much I respect and love you for making this video hahaha this felt such a warm, welcoming conversation and I actually love these intimate chats you’ve begun to do! It really helps to realise that these things are really not that scary, and simply taboos that we should view with a more open mind ❤️❤️❤️

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@carolinegodard3886]

I think the title should be changed to why you don't identify as ace anymore. Asexuality is a sexual orientation like others and has nothing to do with libido. Aces can have any attitude towards sex, many of them don't want it, others engage in it and many of them experience romantic attraction (even some aromantic people want or are in relationships,others don't, it's a question of attraction not action and aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality). I personally identify as fully ace and demiromantic but I would like to get married and have kids.I have a normal libido, I am not disgusted and I also have normal periods after many years of struggle with amenorrhea. I just never experienced sexual attraction, which means, I'm asexual. Your experience is valid and changing labels is normal ,but this phrasing somehow portrays asexuality as a problem or an illness and the ace and aro communities already face a lot of problem with medicalization. Not to mention that it alienates ace and aro specs who don't fit the stereotypical image (which is another way of being asexual or aromantic). I'd also recommend looking into the grey-areas of asexuality and aromanticism. Just because you have a significant other, doesn't mean you can't be ace or aro. Educate yourself before spreading misinformation.

[@bipashachakraborty7632]

This!!!! So true, thank u.

[@joreneelanguages]

This!!! I couldn’t have said it better. I fully respect your journey and changing labels (labels only exist to serve us!), but a lot of this framing only further pathologizes asexuality.

[@WitchOnABroomstick]

💯💯💯

[@hamza_guerbas]

Only Holy can drop a video like this! It was so fun to watch and what I really like is that people will learn from this! For me I never knew asexually people can change but today I have learned a new thing ! Thanks so much for this video. By the way I haven’t watched bunch of your videos recently so I hope I haven’t missed anything big !!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@eleanorf443]

Just want to make it *very* clear, speaking as an asexual person, that for many of us asexuality absolutely isn't something that can change! Some people who identify as asexual may have experiences like Holly's, but for others it's an innate orientation that can't be changed by hormonal changes etc :)

[@joreneelanguages]

Hey Holly! I’d just like to join a bunch of other ace people in the comments here to say that I respect your journey and change of labels, but I think a lot of the things you’ve said here are really misrepresenting and potentially harming the ace community. Asexuality is not being a “stone” or “emotionless”. I know you were just describing your own experience, but framing it as “that was when I was asexual, now that I’m straight again I feel differently” is really harmful. Ace people just don’t experience sexual attraction. That’s it, that’s the whole definition. We can have a high libido or a low libido or anything in between. We can be super romantic or aromantic or anything in between. We can want to get married or platonically partnered or stay single forever or anything in between. You were physically impacted by your EDs and emotionally afraid of being with someone - I have no issues with you using the label of asexuality during that time if you felt it fit, but the way this video presented the experience made it seem like that was “asexuality” and now you’ve been “healed” and “confronted your fears” and you’re “better now.” That’s not most ace people’s experience, nor is it something most ace people need or want to experience. Again, I love that you shared their experience but the overall vibe most viewers are going to come away with is, “maybe this is what’s wrong with most ace people.”

[@Nora-kb9ou]

thank you. also just commented sth similar.

[@eleanorf443]

This this this!!!

[@lenkasustackova4560]

These comments need to be seen more and not burried deep down

[@sandablackberry3733]

Literally have a very similar story to yours😳 I had some little crushes here and there and then I lost my period for 2 years. During those years I actually started believing I was asexual too, absolutely zero interest in anyone. After I gained weight and got my period back suddenly I started to feel things again :o And now I am actually interested in dating. I didn’t realize the lack of period actually had consequences in so many areas of my life…I am so happy for this next chapter of your life!!!🎉

[@im_just_vidu]

Over the time, I feel like I grew up with you. I feel really proud right now. For who you are and who you've become. Seeing your growth makes me so happy and proud. You're doing great Holly. 💖

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@EmmaLangdon]

I’m so glad you made this video and pushed through the uncomfortable topics because I can imagine there are so many people that could have similar experiences.

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@pamlovesharvy]

This is probably such a nit picky thing but I really wish the title of the video was “Why I no longer Identify as Asexual” Asexual erasure is a real thing and clickbatey titles can def contribute to that. As an asexual it’s hard to feel validated in our sexuality when people are opt to say they’ve essentially cured themselves. You obviously have to identify how you feel and it’s a very personal journey but like you said in the video. It’s not a choice. So if you’re straight then you’ve always been straight even when you had a low sex drive/hormones due to external factors like your diet/health. I just think there should be a better distinction there. Currently I’m all up in my feelings on the topic. But I really enjoy your videos and can’t wait to see more. Wishing you well in this journey of life as you share it.

[@nivi8550]

Agreed! I'm the exact same

[@bipashachakraborty7632]

This! As an asexual myself I face so much ace erasure and people always try to convince me that I will be cured somehow, so I can relate with ur comment so deeply. And I am watching comments like ace can be cured or ace people can be changed, but that's not true, I have my periods regularly and I have normal libido / sex drive but I don’t feel to have sex or any attraction towards it, so how can people like me who are identify as asexual can be changed or cure?

[@charliclement4345]

Came to the comments to say this, it might seem nitpicky but it’s a really important distinction

[@rhythmicelegance4670]

Idk but from what she said about having certain inclinations towards guys before the thoughts/feelings faded for a while and she didn’t feel the need to act upon them anyway despite attractions, it seems she may have possibly been grey-asexual, with some health influences aside, which is a relatively considerable difference from being absolutely asexual. Not as many ppl acknowledge grey-aces.

[@charliclement4345]

@@rhythmicelegance4670 definitely a possibility - i would say could be demi also - but for the title specifically and where she’s identifying herself as straight (which we have to respect) it would be good to see the distinction made

[@bohohippie2000]

I love that you're not afraid to use scientific terms to explain things in this video, we love an educated queen; educating queens!! ❤

[@HollyGabrielle]

i loveeeeeee sharing biology 😉

[@bohohippie2000]

@@HollyGabrielle that’s why you’ve been my number one since I was in year 10 in 2016!!

[@arpitaghosh898]

Thank you Holly! You don't know how much this helped me to accept my emotions and feelings that I'm feeling for the first time at the age of 20 years.

[@winno1280]

Obsessed with your journey from uni to now as a person. You’re amazing Holly!

[@HollyGabrielle]

aww thank you ✨ i have come a very long way in myself 🙈

[@niveditaanand3604]

I went back to university and try to live how she did during her times

[@Chasing-Words]

Love this! Thanks so much for trusting us enough to share - we are here for you always! ❤❤

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@Adriannakas]

My wonderful holly, I hope you know how valued you are to us, and how many of us can relate to you in any form of your life. Please don't change for us, or keep yourself in one place in life. Much love!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@jenc1276]

Love that you talk about everything! It’s refreshing and brave and I’m sure it helps a lottttt of people to know it is all ok 🌸

[@HollyGabrielle]

i hope more people can hear these types of conversations online, and then feel more comfortable talking about these topics in real life ✨

[@sillygoosegoose]

this is the first video i've watched of yours in probably about a year and my goodness the ✨growth✨

[@HollyGabrielle]

we have grown indeed 😉✨ it's been a journey, and still is, but i am loving it haha 🙈

[@kyrabeswick1395]

Dear Holly, thank you for this video. I relate to you in a lot of ways and in this way in particular… I have a very similar experience with amenohrea and asexuality so listening to how it has changed for you really gives me more hope and positivity about life. 💕💕

[@casarahbabyxo5995]

love you beautiful ! You have growned and just truly thrived !! Its always okay to evolve into something new we are always constantly evolving and discovering new things about ourselves !!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@bethanthony9061]

I think you are 💯% correct about the correlation between having an ed and not having any sex drive. I have definitely experienced this as well. I love that you are consistently growing, changing and evolving. I also hope by you sharing this it gives other people the insight into their own strengths and abilities to move forward with healthier lifestyles. Thanks for talking about this!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@sofiaalfaro4094]

I'm so happy for you! Your insights are always so profoundly explained and I love that. I'm sure many people, as myself, learn a lot from you :)

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@annjay2581]

I feel like you're confusing sexual attraction and libido? Because I also had zero libido when i was anorexic and now that Im healthy I def have a libido, its just not directed towards anyone, so im still asexual, because im not attracted to other people :D

[@emmajanusky3707]

This was so great Holly, and way to go for being brave enough to talk about your own experiences. It's so important for people to know that talking about this stuff and having a "later timeline" (I hate that phrase because I don't believe there's such a thing as a timeline for this stuff - but I couldn't think of a better phrase LOL) is totally okay. Lots of love 💖

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@Zoe_EK]

Thank you for sharing this beautiful video Holly! It is wonderful to see how you've come into your own body! You are glowing! I can vividly remember the video from 2020 and that I felt similar to what you've talked about. I feel so proud that we managed to build a caring relationship with our bodies these past years. All this beauty and growth is just amazing! Sending all the love!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@ginnyweasley248]

Holly, as a long time viewer I must say that I am very upset and offended by this video, and hope that this comment will encourage you to educate yourself on the nuances of asexuality. As a person who identifies as asexual I found your overall message and tone very offensive. Likening asexual people to a 'stone cold piece of rock' is acephobic, and many of the statements you have made are spreading misinformation about asexuality. Firstly, libido and hormones are NOT linked to asexuality. Here is a direct quote from AVEN (The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) explaining asexuality and libido. "For some asexual people, arousal (sometimes interchanged with “libido” in asexual dialogue) is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners... Other asexual people may experience little or no arousal, often called non-libidoist asexuals. Both types are equally valid in identifying as asexual, as sexual orientation is about attraction and desire towards other people, rather than strictly physiological reactions." Secondly, asexuality is not at all connected to a lack of hormones or medical issues such as EDs, it is a completely valid sexual orientation which should not be perceived as a 'problem,' or something that can be 'cured.' Thirdly, asexual people are capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships such as romantic or platonic relationships, and therefore likening asexuality to being emotionless or a 'rock' is incorrect and offensive. Sexuality is fluid and a large spectrum, so therefore I am not saying that labelling your younger self as asexual isn't valid, however I ask you to please reflect on your message and tone and educate yourself on asexuality. As someone with a large audience you have the power to spread positivity and visibility around the asexual identity, instead of misinformation and acephobia. I appreciate your honesty and courage in speaking out about taboo topics, I simply ask that you do so respectfully. Here is a link to AVEN (The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) which has lots of resources on asexuality: www.asexuality.org/ This University of North Carolina website may also be useful: lgbtq.unc.edu/resources/exploring-identities/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation/ Thank you for taking the time to read my comment. If you have any further questions on asexuality or need me to clarify anything, you can reach me on email at [e-mail]. Thanks! 💜🤍🖤

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@pamlovesharvy]

Appreciate this comment as I felt the same way (and also left a comment). You’re wording is impeccable though and I appreciate the resources being shared. Even as an Ace person I was not familiar with AVEN. Most of these resources weren’t available to me as I was starting to figure out my sexuality which wasn’t even that long ago.

[@ginnyweasley248]

@@pamlovesharvy it's great to know someone else shares my thoughts about this!! Resources are so important but hardly shared, so it's totally valid that you've never heard of AVEN (ace education has a long way to go!).

[@myja100]

This was so interesting to watch and definitely makes so much sense from the biological perspective you have explained! So glad you are allowing yourself to change as you best feel like yourself xxx

[@ZhiYun412]

thank u for sharing all these to us! it's so important to me!! and i'm so proud of u!!🥰

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@ozastriza118]

you have noo iadea how helpful this video was, thank youu!!

[@alicehartley]

I am so proud of you ❤ I love that you feel able to say that you've changed (as everyone does and change is so so normal). I also love that you want to do more vids on sex ed which is so so important. I think it's safe to say majority of people who received sex ed in school learnt close to nothing about the reality. I pretty much learnt my sex ed through social media. Not only sex ed but romantic relationship ed (which should also be discussed in schools). I'm so excited for this new chapter of your life Holly xx

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@amj1852]

The most honest talk ever😀

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@justmeemi6350]

Holly, from the bottom of my heart ❤ thank you ❤

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@Mia-i6y9x]

Yay Holly! Thank you for sharing and opening up!❤ many hugs!!!!

[@momentmemos]

Such a great video Holly, thanks for being so open as always!

[@HollyGabrielle]

thank youuuuuuu 💚💚💚

[@LittleVenator]

Thank you so much for this video, Holly. I’ve often wondered if my “asexuality” is related to a low body fat percentage or lack of period, but even when I had regular periods, I had almost no interest in sexual interactions. I feel the same as you in that I know I am “straight” (i.e., female attracted to males) but the actual desire for sex is not there. It can be very difficult to explain this to others if they have no personal experience with it.

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@emegvf]

I’m kinda similar. I have always identified as asexual and still do. I do have a interest in guys but I also don’t. I think on a romantic level I might do but that’s new to me and scary. And I don’t feel a sexual desire for anyone but sometimes my body is like “I need to be pregnant” but I don’t want to be it’s just a biological feeling.

[@bbq5393]

Omg, I was anorexic for a few years as a teenager and I also thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't have any crushes and wasn't interested in anyone while my friends were falling in love with others all the time. I started to recover around 17 and a few months later I started dating my boyfriend. I never connected my lack of romantic interest with my ED, I thought I was just messed up but it makes a lot more sense now

[@nanwithabackpack]

What a brave video to make. You come across so very well, and put it so eloquently.

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@irmasoderholm9596]

Honestly, as a person who "lost" their virginity about 2 years ago with an at the time boyfriend, this is the truth girl!! You only gain experience and knowledge and that journey is what should be the focus point. I am a different person today but that's because I'm no longer 16, not because I'm no longer a virgin. Sex does not change your whole world and stressing out over it being or not being something specific is unnecessary 🥰

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@Iamsenag]

Holly omg I relate to u way too much, I also had an Ed and experienced smtg similar. Back then I thought I was asexual asw but now ik im not, crazy how our body works! Ty for this❤

[@emma.martttt]

Thank you for opening up about it. You give hope to people (including meee..) who have similar experiences

[@fearuck9058]

I like the way you opened up this topic ...it led me to know that it is very much fine to have these conversations....🙂

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@hayleymartin3817]

Even before the video started I was thinking this is because she has her period back!!! Loved the mini science lesson, will look out for the ByHollyG vid. Bless you for sharing, you certainly didn’t need too and I’m sure there are loads of people who can relate. ❤

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@aninditahalder6273]

I hope people's perspectives change after watching this. Let's normalize being asexual. Let's normalize talking about it. Holly being holly ☺ love from India ❤

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@Minks252]

Beautiful video, very real and open that’s not stepping out of ur comfort zone to inspire others

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@llabyrinthinessoul]

not having sex doesnt mean youre asexual btw same as someone who may have had sex can still be asexual. asexuality is all about lack of sexual attraction to someone

[@HollyGabrielle]

yes, i agree! and as i said, asexuality itself is a spectrum!

[@dancebasedancer]

Holly, just a couple of thoughts. I think that rather than "change" which you use, towards the end of your video, as a verb to describe yourself, including quite rightly observing that everyone "changes" as their life progresses, it would be better to use the word "evolve". We all EVOLVE as the years go on! Similarly I think that you don't need to declare that you're 'straight' at the start of this video, because sexuality IS indeed also an evolution. So whilst you may feel/know that you are straight atm, your feelings may easily evolve as you grow and time goes on.....

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@milkymilkshake244]

Holly, you’re such a queen, I relate so much to you and your life story. Like I watch your videos with tears, thank you so much for your honesty and sharing such personal things ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@davidx5828]

Very brave video Holly, congratulations on your progression!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@justinfelt748]

Happy Sunday, Holly!😊😊😊😊😊😎☀💙💙💙💙💙🇺🇸🌷🇬🇧💜💜💜💜💜👍. I'm so glad that you're feeling better.🌷

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@dees3179]

I’ve been on medication for the last ten years that makes me feel asexual. It’s a delight. Not. I’m not dead. But I kind of feel like I am. I’m never particularly interested in sex, but this also isn’t my normal default. Glad things improved for you holly. Shame I can’t come off this medication because that will actually kill me.

[@stantonsullivan-readdelillo]

It’s been cool to see how you’ve changed but also stayed the same over the years Holly lol

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@matthewhaslewood468]

Hi Holly, another great videos/vlog and so informative with information, dedicating and helping others. You should feel proud of yourself for doing this video. To all you girls out there in the world, I fully respect you all for everything and the things you have to go through in life. You should all be confident as can be but most importantly be happy and confident with who you are. Stay safe and happy Holly and every same goes to all the females watching this video. 👍😊

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@WatchMyTears]

I get that you’re a biologist. But the bio essentialist model for sexuality is outdated. From your own descriptions you had low labido due to malnutrition and psychological distress. You weren’t asexual.

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@CinnamonToast]

Hey Holly! I'm asexual, and I'm glad the label served for your a time and you now feel confident in your heterosexuality. I love hearing about people's experiences with asexuality even if they don't identify with the label for their entire life. It's so awesome to hear people talk about asexuality openly. I think it's good for everyone to be comfortable discussing sex and the lack of it so we can better understand ourselves and avoid misinformation and stigma. Kudos for starting the discussion on your channel

[@localabsurdist6661]

Asexual doesn’t mean abstinence or celibacy so I’m not sure if the label is used in a way that respects actual asexual people… I’m ace and pretty much sex neutral but some of my ace friends are very much sex positive and very much active… so yeah her not feeling comfortable in her heterosexuality didn’t make her ace

[@localabsurdist6661]

Another big problem with that phrasing: a lot of ace people experience corrective r*pe, conversion therapy and not being seen as valid. Making it seem like being ace has to do with your sexual activity or as an insecurity doesn’t help and could make it even worse. Again it’s still seen as an illness by acephobes

[@KawaiiStudioO]

thanks for sharing that! I would love to see a q&a about that topic (tips for the first time, was it painful?, etc) 🥰

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@silvialogan9226]

Holly, I think that having your periods back changed your feelings about relationships very much.

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@sandrex1978]

Hi ,Holly. You look more relatable and good luck in your life journey

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@serenachen5863]

i love this and you !!!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@liz_2878]

Holly, thank you so much. I've been going through a similar situation, am I asexual or am I just scared of the unknown or is it because I have a long history of mental health disorders? People change by living and thrive in new environments and with new experiences. I hope I'll be able to figure myself out like you did. Lots and lots of love

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@stargazer6852]

I think I watched one of bestdressed's videos where she rephrased it as gaining something instead of losing and I couldn't agree more, that's probably why I remember that I heard that from her.

[@HollyGabrielle]

ohhhhh i didn't hear it from this channel, but elsewhere, and wowwwww did it change my wholeeee perspective as i said!

[@localabsurdist6661]

I usually love your content but as an panromantic ace person please change the title. You were never ace and that’s fine. A lot of people have insecurities about their sexuality and don’t have sex but that doesn’t mean that they are ace. Asexuality = not feeling sexual attraction. It doesn’t mean celibacy. Ace people can be sex negative, sex neutral or sex positive. People who are ace can have a lot of sex and enjoy it or have a high libido. Furthermore ace people experience a lot of erasure. People telling us we are too young, just insecure, etc is very much a thing. Also corrective r*pe, conversion therapy and asexuality being treated like an illness is still happening. The title and overall the phrasing doesn’t help the ace community at all… Edit: you can “loose” your libido due to illness but that’s not asexuality!!! This difference is very important

[@VioletEmerald]

I mean I'm ace too and she literally didn't feel sexual attraction... It's not so simple. The only part i feel a bit weird about is how she describes feeling emotionless and assuming that was all part of the sexual orientation of asexuality?

[@bipashachakraborty7632]

I am 30 years old person and demi panromantic ace person, and I am 100% agree with u, I have no health issue throughout my life, I have my periods regularly and have normal sex drive, I have sexual experiences too, but I never feel contentment or any attraction towards it, many ace people have partner or sex in their life, asexual is a broad spectrum, there are too many definition for every experience, people’s lebel can be changed throughout exploration journey, but ace erasure is so common in our society and that's frustrating, I am happy for her, but I have the problem with the title, it can be used as " no longer identify as asexual ".

[@carolinegodard3886]

As a partnering aro who is also ace I agree. It's really frustrating to see asexuality conflated with a low libido, trauma response or a moral choice, because it's a question of attraction, not action and that's all. Also, it's not the same thing as aromanticism, because aro erasure is a thing even in aspec spaces. It's really harmful to do that generalization, I know the intentions are good, but the first explanation erases the grey area of the spectrum and erases sex-favourable and indifferent aces.

[@Zoe_EK]

And maybe as a question as you asked for more questions about this topic? How did/do you feel about these new experiences? Did/do they feel overwhelming?

[@VioletEmerald]

I'm very curious too...

[@HollyGabrielle]

i'll definitely be doing a q&a soon after this 💚💚💚

[@Bubbleblower64]

I felt the same when I was anorexic. I still felt straight because I wanted to want sex like I used to. The same thing happened when I got pregnant. Body was like: “sex has done it’s job, there’s no point in it now” 😂. Eight months postpartum, I finally felt like it again and bam, a week and a half later, I got my period back. It was way better than I had expected, I heard they can be really heavy after having a baby, but it was just the same but with less cramps than before 😊

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@kathryndonagher2535]

Your a wise young woman🙏💕

[@sanghitamanna8327]

Yaay I am so early...... Hello from India 🇮🇳

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@jemimahurford4731]

Love this ❤

[@HollyGabrielle]

thank you jemima 💚

[@sophieirwin3497]

I have a friend from uni who identified as asexual. He is now in a loving relationship waiting to be married and has a cute little baby boy. Life and labels change

[@kbeats5143]

He may still be ace. Asexuals can have sex and he may be inclined to do so with his partner to make them comfortable in the relationship and/or he may actually enjoy sex. Asexuality is about attraction not about whether you're having sex or not, or in a relationship or not. Just from an asexual who enjoys a roll around in the hay occasionally...

[@VioletEmerald]

Also asexuality isn't aromanticism, etc etc

[@theagroenhaug8824]

This is a bit misleading... ace people aren't inherently lonely miserable creatures who wish above all else that they could be attracted to people in order to be "loved" (not that that's what you said, I just feel like it could be easily inferred from your comment especially with how stigmatised and misunderstood asexuality is) also your friend can still be ace and be in a relationship! plenty of aces still have sex, and not all of us are aromantic! Also side note that there are plenty of tother types of love and attraction than just romantic/sexual, and many asexuals feel just as fulfilled without a romantic relationship as allosexual/romantic people do with one!

[@carolinegodard3886]

Just because he has a kid and in a long-term relationship, doesn't mean he can't be on the ace spectrum. Many ace people experience romantic attraction, because romantic and sexual orientation are not the same. Aromantic people can also want relationships, this video is spreading misinformation.

[@lenkasustackova4560]

You don't really know much about asexuality, do you?

[@SilviaBa]

Thank you for the talking about changing

[@anaritacunha5431]

This video was just amazing 💕

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@DLM440]

You’ve just described me!!

[@5coldplayhurtsfan]

now I'm really wondering about myself bc I also had crushes when I was 12-15, then got depressed and lost a lot of weight that's still gone a decade later, but I never lost my period or libido, it's just not directed at anyone which seems asexual to me but I know I am capable of interest in people bc I've experienced it before so idk

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@fearuck9058]

I am happy for you also...you are a brave girl

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@negligence888]

Thanks for sharing🖤

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@andi01452]

This is something that should be talked about more!! I had a similar experience of "losing my period" as a result of using hormonal birth control pills. I started using them in feb. 2017 and stopped in sep. 2021, almost 5 years. I never knew that it caused fake periods and halted the production of hormones. I lost a lot of libido and it affected my mental health and happiness, which I thought was from stress and external causes. I heavily questioned if I suddenly turned ace or was not attracted to my partner because sex wasn't satisfactory anymore. Hence a few years before in another relationship and my first year of the pill, it was totally different. Over the years I think my body reacted more to not having a natural cycle. I am now very critical towards hormonal birth control in that regard. These causes should be informed in speech as it's very difficult to determine if it's the pills or other reasons causing it. In my country, they only ask about blood clots and if that's cool they prescribe it right away because teens want to get the pills quickly (ofc not reading about the side effects). I'm not disregarding the importance of protecting oneself from unwanted pregnancy and the effects can differ from one to another. But now I'm always a contender for non-hormonal birth control and letting our bodies have their natural cycle. It affects everything in our body, especially mentally. Thank you so much for talking about it from a different cause!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@ambersjourneysinlife]

It isn't losing your virginity, it is giving it to another person. Our stories are kinda similar 😲 ❤️

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@ela100297]

I was legit 23 before I had sex and I’m now 25 I just was so shy and never wanted to with anybody or had those types of feelings really till I met my current boyfriend and that being said Iv bin with him since I was 19. I needed a lot of time and he gave it.

[@hayyihahd9251]

this video is kinda funny in a sense that I thought it’s going to be a spicy big sister talk session but it turns out to be very biology 😂😂 classic holly 😂😂😂 I don’t dislike it tho…. I did learn a lot about what my body is able to do from this video ❤

[@annaspeaks373]

I have never been in relationship and I never wanted to be but we grow up and something happens

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@25.aumikar.gadhavixii89]

I rushed here as soon as I got the notification, first one here!!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@Avacado.A]

I’m the second dude here 🎉

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@jacobzeroAWESOMEINFINITE]

Thanks Holly

[@malcomflibbleghast8140]

glad you are feeling more healthy

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@amitshridhar]

Holly & her friend Ruby Granger 💞!

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@aminaaml7401]

Holly its obvious u had some intimite experiences with charly even before this video we knew , u derserve to be happy no one will dare to judge u .

[@Nicegram_me_at-HollyGabriell]

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[@lenkasustackova4560]

I think you kinda confused libido with sexual attraction

[@lauraelisee]

As long as you never give up veganism, you can change however you want ❤😉

[@laurenpleace3506]

Agreed 👍

[@lauraelisee]

@S M ok with the caveat not related to health reasons. I know Holly loves animals so much!

[@NcisfanwithTivafever]

Can you recommend any podcasts you listened to?