WHY I'M NOT SLEEP TRAINING // My Baby's Sleep at 9 Months

[@unceremoniouslylysse7226]

I am so glad I found this video. Thank you. I was bed sharing for the first 5 months with my baby until he got too active at night. He was constantly rolling around making it hard to sleep. I finally just got a twin mattress and put it in the floor right next to my bed. It allows him to move as he wants freely and I just roll off my bed to nurse him at night. I hate hearing him cry when he’s tired. I couldn’t do CIO. I think I tried it for an hour for one day and knew it wasn’t for me. I think the internet can be so damaging to maternal instinct. I find myself googling so many things to make sure I’m doing things ‘right’ instead of relying on myself when my baby was doing just fine before my research. It’s so reassuring to know I’m not the only one doing things differently.

[@kimwold]

I feel the same, and thought I was not a wise mom because I am feeding to sleep and co-sleeping

[@tanvimoghelaghate2648]

Thank you for saying it. I agree. I feel horrible when I google things and don’t feel confident about my parenting choices. Ideally, my baby should nap a certain no of hours or at 8 months, he should sleep through the night and honestly, it’s just too stressful! I couldn’t do CIO either and now I’ve decided to enjoy time with my baby instead of obsessing over his sleep

[@malakaideangelo6316]

instablaster.

[@sivetty.m]

I feel so much better reading this. I’m so grateful I’m not the only one ❤️

[@itscool770]

I’ve bed shared since the first day. I absolutely love the snuggles. He’s now 5 months and we sleep so good together. It’s the most natural and instinctual sleep method.

[@michellesansouciee]

Same here 💗

[@sistriaputri6663]

Same here too ❤

[@Haliosman]

It was nice before he started kicking and taking over my whole bed lol He’s 14 months now co-sleeps and breastfeeds. Time for him to have his own bed now lol

[@widyaastuti7939]

Same here

[@marinagomes513]

Same too 😍

[@jaaz2376]

For me no methods work only bed sharing works at least I can sleep...

[@hannah1052]

I tried CIO for like one day & I could take it. It wasn’t that I felt sad listening to her cry, it was that it felt instinctually wrong to let her be SO sad, alone in a dark room. IMO, you would never do that to a child or an adult so why do it to a baby? I want her to know we will always be there for her needs! Love to hear you’re doing what feels right for you & baby.

[@omotomiuk]

This is the most honest “share” regarding baby sleep I’ve heard on YT. Thanks for sharing ... makes me feel like I’m not alone as some days I’m so exhausted from lack of sleep from my little one. I bed share and will continue until we need to transition to something else.

[@haymesj]

I tried the sleep training thing, first night my baby vomited from crying too much, second night she screamed and slammed her head into the cot bars until I went in and grabbed her, third night she screamed for 3 hours and then when it wasn't slowing down I went and picked her up. I tried for a straight week, and It didnt work at all. Now that I've just given up on the idea of her self soothing, she is gradually getting better. My anxiety was feeding it. She wakes up once a night I feed and soothe her and we are good. I've started enjoy the closeness that is rocking her to sleep... it doesnt last forever let's embrace the time while we can!!!

[@kawtheralkhenaizi3002]

Oh God that sounds horrible.. I hope you're both happy now ❤️

[@haymesj]

@@kawtheralkhenaizi3002 thank you ❤it was horrible! Definitely made me rethink what advice I was taking though. Just enjoying each others company and taking each day as it comes now 😊

[@andreaaigner441]

It is sooo good that You changed your mind!! :)

[@Beesuu31]

My baby has the same issue, she vomits very easily from crying too hard, for last 3 days she has been waking up every hour or 2, and she has been puking so hard she looks like in so much pain :( the first hour from waking because she just fed to sleep. I don't think the CIO method will work for her, her gag reflux is too sensitive. How long did it take to get better? I feel like our baby is learning milestones very quickly only 6.5 months and she already knows how to crawl and pull herself up and stand..... We went from bed sharing from 2-5.5 months and ever since this holidays for the past 2 weeks we transitioned her to her own room and crib, its been frequent wakings maybe 1-2 nights she slept 5-6 hour stretches but that was it... Hope you can shine some light and suggestions for my situation.

[@teegirlt7126]

@@Beesuu31 bless your heart darling. I was in same boat. As an African married to a British, I had to go the African way after seeing and hearing my poor baby cry just to please myself. You can Google WHY AFRICAN BABIES DON'T CRY. My mum kept saying she will change. I sleep in her nursery as she wakes every 2hrs but she sleeps longer now with much activities and food intake. What I do (from my mum) is play alot and feed her much more in the day and feed her nothing 1-2hrs before bed. She only nurses to sleep off. Go with your instincts, just like animals no one trains their babies, they grow out of it. Hope this helps.

[@SandraLopez-qb2ww]

Sleep training seems so unnatural. Remember this time is only temporary.

[@sergioescalona62]

There are many factors in ways to potty train. One plan I discovered that successfully combines these is the Sues Trainer Tactics (google it if you're interested) definately the best resource i've seen.look at all the extraordinary info .

[@Mk-KarenM]

So so true but people think they need to train humans when in fact we should train animals and nurture babies.

[@teegirlt7126]

I certainly agree, I tried once and it's just brutal seeing my poor baby cry so bad, IT'S TOURTURE. I bet you would be CONCERNED seeing an adult cry in such way (before knowing whats wrong) My baby is a year old now and sleeps better. It gets better as she develops.

[@malorie8557]

I needed this. Just got reemed my by MIL this past weekend because my baby can't fall asleep on her own. She is 9 months. But this is what I'm learning... Our parents generation was forced to raise their kids in a way that abided by their schedule, the parent. Women were encouraged to work AND raise kids so they HAD to establish a strong sleeping arrangement that kept them from their bed and in a crib, that forced them to have a routine, that kept the baby at a distance to ensure no real bond so guilt didn't seep in and so fourth. The baby was raised for THEIR needs. Now, you look at how THEY were raised and it was more for the husband. The husband didn't help in those days. The husband worked so mom had to make sure the babies didn't disrupt his needs or his sleep or his schedule or his lifestyle. We are finally at a point where a mother can feel comfortable being at home and not working or works from home and now the needs of the KID is the most important and they just dont understand that. They think we are spoiling our child because we arent doing things THEIR way when in reality, that first year they are SUPPOSED to count on mom. AND dad. And what we are doing now is finding a balance of what the baby needs and what the parents need. And not either or.

[@janetyay242]

And I bet your husbands relationship isn’t that great with his mom as well, maybe I’m wrong that’s the case in our household. Neither of us have a close relationship with our parents, neither of us trust them, neither of us look to them for advice. That’s why I’m trying something different. Very good points.

[@janetyay242]

And she has no right to ream on you about anything. It’s not her baby, none of her business, and you know your baby best. She is just projecting her emotions on to you and in reality, judging herself. I guarantee your hard work will pay off and you will have a beautiful lifelong bond with your child

[@purple22615]

Such a great video! My story is so, so similar, loved how your mindset changed. A changed mindset has helped me accept this stage of my baby's sleep. It's so easy for new mums to feel like we aren't doing something right because our babies aren't following the plan. I struggle with my son's day naps and after trying to get my son to nap for hours, my husband said ,you know he will fall asleep when he is ready to sleep. Such simple and obvious advice, which I hadn't even thought of!! So now I just look out for his tired cues and trust he will go to sleep when he is ready. And you know what , he always has his two naps in the day, might not be on schedule, but he sleeps !!

[@jocelynsaito1268]

Monique Dillon yes this is all so true! And they change so fast! I so glad you’ve had success changing your mindset and your husband supports it ❤️

[@tanvimoghelaghate2648]

Omg ! I could write these words. My baby is a terrible napper and I have always been anxious about his naps. Going by the books and a zillion websites/blogs, I was obsessing over his wake windows and getting all things done on time but now that I’ve a changed mindset, it feels easier to follow his cues and put him down for naps/bedtime and just enjoy the time with him !

[@stiaininbeglan3844]

My mum keeps talking about how I had a nap in the morning and a nap in the afternoon, always at the same times, "Like clockwork," she says, and she's trying to relate it to my son's naps which are semi sporadic. Finally I asked her, "At what age?" She answered, "Right up until the time you were about a year and a half." I sighed, "FROM how old?" And she answered, "About 6 months." "That's great," I said, "But he's only 4 months, so there's no comparison." 😴 We have been going through sleep regression for almost 2 months now.

[@nofuturepp]

Finally someone step out talking about realities while all those videos showing off their angel babies how they sleep through the nights..i'm like really?? My baby has the same issue like your one, only 8 weeks, i'm already exhausted. Thanks for sharing your experience and best luck going forward to you!

[@vigtoria8123]

8 weeks is too young to sleep train. You should wait until a least 3 months. But I would wait longer

[@anna.m8]

I think sleep training is recommended at around 4 to 5 months at the earliest. Check with your pediatrician though. It depends on the baby. For some it might be ok earlier. It's just a roughly guideline

[@diemeckerei3021]

nofuturepp oh no, you are not the only one!! My third baby (a girl after 2 boys) sleeps as bad as the boys. And like you said I only hear about some sort of sleep trained babies or naturally good sleepers. That’s devastating at the beginning, but I got used to it :D

[@kandicelove4225]

I was so exhausted that I had no other choice but to cosleep. I was afraid to bf sitting up after dozing off a few times. Grateful I never dropped my baby. I started bf while laying down and we’d doze off. Attempting no cry sleep solution now that he’s mobile and will be crawling soon. Thank you for the video. It is REAL. ❤️

[@hammylions2569]

Thank you so much for this video. I started bed sharing at like 2 months when I found myself suddenly having to take care of my baby without a husband... it was just the only way we both got a tiny bit of sleep. I was actually developing some scary heart and circulatory issues from my lack of sleep before that. It worked great up until a little before 5 months old, which is when I returned to work. My work schedule combined with him teething has really thrown him off. And I'm on my own pretty much so no one can help. Also my baby nurses to sleep. I've watched videos about CIO and even hearing other babies cry and scream makes me cry. I know I can't do CIO. And honestly the concept just seems attached to these weird American ideas about getting your kid to be as independent from you as possible as young as possible. I was someone who thought bed sharing was awful in the beginning... I'm a manager of a pediatric division of a hospital so I know it is seen as highly dangerous. But there's a maternal instinct for a lot of us that just can't deal with our babies being away from us all day while we work and then at night ignoring their tears and keeping them in a separate room. When he was a newborn he felt too fragile to bed share, a bassinet by the bed felt right. But not anymore and it is ok. Raising babies doesn't have to be so medicalized. You can go off your maternal instincts for most things I think. I'm thinking of getting a really large cosleeper that sidles up next to the bed so that he is not so disturbed by my movement and vice versa. But I don't forsee CIO in my future

[@bk_ash81]

I could’ve made this video. My son is 10 months old and has NEVER slept more than 2 hours at a time, much less “through the night.” I am a single mom and I’m officially spent and at my wits end. The only difference is we have co-slept since the beginning and I haven’t tried CIO because I don’t think it is right for us, not do I believe it would even work :( even with him in the bed, he’s waking every hour or two for the boob. I need some relief soon...just a 3 hr stretch would be nice 😞 Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you because I really needed to hear someone else who is in a similar situation share their experience, because until now I have friends or acquaintances (who have no children or who aren’t single moms and who aren’t awake every hour every night) trying to relate to how utterly sleep-deprived I am and it’s infuriating.

[@TK-jr1km]

Reading your reply i had to double check to make sure im not the one who wrote it. Lol. Im jn the exact same situation and things are finally settling. Ive just decided to not sleep train and let him take his time. Cry it out was terrible and i would never do it again.

[@kayjay8790]

Hang in there momma. There are many of us in your current state. I can't stand to hear my daughter cry for too long and Im co-sleeping with her mainly because of pure exhaustion (did NOT PLAN to do this..she has her own crib and her brother did fine sleeping on his own) I remember I didnt get into my own bed until I was 3 because my brother came along and my parents bed became too crowded Lol. My mom banished me to my own room and I cried but eventually I got it and slept on my own all night. Co-sleeping was done regularly back then. I said that to say- sometimes you have no choice but to co-sleep and some babies are stubborn and the parent have too little energy to sleep train. Do what works for you because it will work out and your baby will eventually sleep through the night on their own. We have to remember that time flies and we should enjoy our babies as much as possible (even though we are walking zombies Lol) All the best and God bless!

[@niconnah]

@@TK-jr1km i know right, i think it's really terrible to hear my child crying like that for a long time and i also said i'm not doing it again, i just let him sleep in my bed when he wakes up in night and he usually do sleep through the night

[@andream8862]

He wakes up every couple of hours because he can smell the breastmilk

[@hanan763]

Umm can I say best comment and loving this thread! Everything y’all said I can relate too. My husband is in another country so I’ve been doing this alone from the beginning. I’m utterly exhausted and have watched several videos on sleep training. Watching all these other moms vids have actually discouraged me, like either they lying or I’m just a bad mom lol. I’m so glad I found this video and read all the comments. My baby is 5 months and she wakes up at least every 2 hours and wants her pacifier and sometimes milk. I kno u have to have a consistent routine in order to sleep train but when ur a single mom and doing it all that is damn near impossible! Sometimes she sleeps at 8,9,10 it all depends on what’s going on that day. I don’t have the luxury to even sleep train if I wanted to. And also we co-sleep which I have gotten use to and just makes it easier for me to give her the pacifier. It’s honesty draining and I pray she gets out of this phase. I’m a first time mom and practically learning as I go along and checking online for lots of info and it can get so frustrating and confusing. KZbin vids sometimes makes it worse cause I feel like folks withhold info and make everything seem perfect and easy which is so disheartening. I catch myself feeling a lot worse after I’ve watching a video. But anyways so refreshing to see this ❤️

[@chelseychavez]

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. First off, I also live in Japan (military spouse)! I needed to hear this because I am losing my mind and sleep over obsessing over my baby’s sleep schedule, habits, and mostly training. I can relate to you on so many levels. I also had a hard time with the Ferber method and she cried until throwing up - we only did one night and I called it quits! It’s nice to hear that it’s OK if your baby just isn’t fit for sleep training. Thanks again for sharing!!

[@jocelynsaito1268]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad my video resonated with you. I can now say that at 14 months and still nursing to sleep, my boy is sleeping better! We also recently started the night weaning process and that has helped some I think. Good luck and try not to stress! It will come with time! It's so hard in the moment but I haven't once regretted not sleep training!

[@ileanacascetti537]

My son is 15 months. Naps in his bed but he sleeps with us at night. He sleeps through the night and we are all happy. Never tried the sleep training. He will sleep in his own be when he is ready.

[@AlinaSorochan]

Was he always able to fall asleep during naps or did you slowly transition? Baby is 6,5mths and naps on me, but in a few months I'm starting work again and am very worried she won't be able to learn how to properly nap without me. I'm totally ok with cosleeping though

[@ileanacascetti537]

@@AlinaSorochan I know what you mean I never went back to work since I had him and he is now 2 years and 5 months....I have to admit that I spoilt him in that sense.

[@rachelwilson66]

Don’t forget to post an update video when he starts sleeping through the night. :) My son is 6 months old and we are going through the same issues you described. Funny thing is, that he is my fourth child and all his siblings slept through the night by about 4 months. It’s true, every child is different.

[@diemeckerei3021]

Rachel Wilson that’s interesting. I have now my 3rd child and she sleeps just as horrible as her two brothers :D My children never started to sttn before about 2 years old. In Europe here sleep training isn’t common at all and would never be recommended by pediatricians.

[@ML-wb5pj]

Sleep training is a hangover from the Victorian era when parents were told not to even show affection to babies.

[@ThyStylist]

Great video! I didn’t even know sleep training was a thing. Nor did I know how fragile baby sleep is. I always thought that came naturally to babies. Until I had my own. I have an almost 6 month old and I went through the same thing. I didn’t try the CIO method but I was up every hour or 2 to feed and waited until he was in a deep sleep to put him down (20 +min) and he wouldn’t sleep longer than an hour on his own. I was so sleep deprived. At 6 weeks old I brought him to the bed with me and we both slept sooooo much better. He’s almost 6 months now and still breastfed. He’s still up every 2-3 hours for a feeding and falls right back to sleep whole process is 10 min max. This is what works for the both of us and that’s how it will continue. Thanks for making such a real video. There’s not enough people saying the truth about how hard baby sleep is when they can’t self -sooth. Oh and just a little reminder... you’re great mom! ❤️

[@kierstenB97]

I’m not judging I’m just saying, yeah that sounds absolutely heartbreaking, there’s no way I could stand to hear my baby sobbing for longer than it takes to change a diaper let alone 2 hours 😯

[@vigtoria8123]

“I have a very opinionated child” girl I felt that. My baby knows what she wants and she’ll cry until she gets it

[@diemeckerei3021]

Vigtoria that means you have a totally normal baby with good instincts and a strong relationship with you 🥰

[@aleay7779]

Not so much "opinionated" just a natural thing, that a baby wants its parents to hold him/her. 😊

[@beeker12]

Ah, thank you for this video. This is my exact story and I was just nodding along the whole time. It's good to know I'm not alone when no one really talks about bed sharing and co sleeping. ♥️

[@Mk-KarenM]

I love that you are speaking out on this! You did the right thing. Your baby will grow out of it and be better for it. Babies have many needs not just to eat and to sleep.. good for you, Mommy! A Mother’s role is selfless but so worth every minute of that selflessness. Remember that we can train animals but we must nurture our babies.

[@mackenziepappas1734]

This video came to my feed at the perfect time. My baby girl is 6 months old and everything you described is my experience, I haven't done cry it out, I'm not interested in trying. BUT what a relief that what she's doing at night isn't a reflection of how I'm parenting, it's just her being a baby. Thank you so much for this video. So helpful.

[@mirang8787]

Best video I've ever seen as a first time mom!!! Thank you. Just saved my sanity.

[@Ariana-gu2gf]

This video was great. I appreciate you taking the time to talk about this. I've been ripping my hair out wondering why my 7 month old is breastfeeding so much at night and waking up non stop. I really need sleep and im so emotionally/physically exhausted because of it. Sleep training has not worked for me and I cannot do extinction because I refuse to let my baby cry for 1 hour + THANK YOU.

[@celestialinsightsbycristy]

I have been co-sleeping with my baby even until now that she is turning 2. I just cannot get enough of the snuggles. She sleeps through the night.

[@sssssstoronto]

I am having the same issue. My baby is 6months old and I have tried CIO too. After i did CIO method once, she hates being in a crib so much. I think it’s traumatizing for her. Every time I put her in her crib, she cries so badly. I was thinking why I am doing this.... Why I have to do something that my baby hates... Every time we do bed sharing. we both sleep 7-8hours. I decided not doing CIO anymore. It just didn’t work for us. Also CIO is not for all babies. People think bed sharing and co sleep are not good..but who cares! You and your baby used to be together for 10months. Of course, the baby needs you. As long as you and your baby are happy, all good!

[@hanan763]

Love this!❤️

[@soniaflores2406]

First of all, how brave of you to post this video!!! There is so much pressure to sleep train and so many negative comments about bed sharing. Thank you!!! My situation is very very similar! I appreciate you for your honesty!

[@saratagliabue6679]

Co-sleep is the solution... much more times than people think or WANT to think

[@alexamcjunkin8573]

Thank you so much for this video. It randomly came up onto my feed and it was like it knew I needed to watch this. I broke down today. I have been bed sharing since day one and I thought I had to sleep train my now 7 month old. I’ve tried the Ferber method for a couple days now and my son screams bloody murder the entire time I try. Let him go for two hours each time and couldn’t let him cry like that anymore so finally decided it wasn’t right. I was beating myself up about it. But now I realize that it will not work for us and if having a happy baby sleeping with us is how we need to do things then I’m all for it

[@pomminnie]

OH THANK GOD FOR THIS VIDEO. I'M SO WITH YOU.

[@teegirlt7126]

Thanks a million for coming out to share this. I'm in the same boat as you but never tried CIO as I view it cruel. Will just breath through this accepting it's a phase.

[@Franccesca24able]

Bed sharing from day one. Lay down breastfeeding, magic. Not perfect but ok. Nature already gave us all the tools we need to comfort and take take of our baby’s to make it easy, simple and enjoyable❤

[@gracerodgers633]

Thank you for posting this. I’ve felt for so long like I was just doing something wrong because all I see are videos about how sleep training worked so well and I just can’t bring myself to do it. This literally brought me to tears and helped me feel not so alone.

[@viviannehernandez4515]

I tried CIO, did only two check-ins, and knew it was not for me or my child (she hysterically cries, snot, tears,sweats). I would not put her through that. I wanted her to know we cared and comfort her. So I tried (my version) of pick up put down method. It worked! She cried the first night but not for long and not hysterically. By the second day she was getting the idea that being in the crib meant sleeping time. I don’t pick her up out of the crib but I do sing to her, rub her back or tummy, kiss her etc. Eventually once I put her in the crib she would just lay down and didn’t need touch for comfort so I could leave the room without her crying. It will all be ok mamas! Do what works best for you and your baby!

[@stiaininbeglan3844]

Thank you for talking about this. We've been in sleep regression for about 2 months now, and I'm more tired at 4 and a half months than I was right after he was born. Right from the time he was born I've been doing almost exactly what you described has been working for you: I nursed him to sleep, when he fell asleep too soon I tickled him to wake him up to keep eating, and when I couldn't wake him up any longer or he disengaged (unlatched) on his own then I put him in his bassinet. First 1 or 2 times he woke up I just woke up and waiting to see if he'd go back to sleep and if not then I'd pick him up, nurse him to sleep, put him back to bed, until about his 5am wake and then just lay down with him on my tummy, nurse him and go back to sleep myself. Often I'd be asleep before him. But then he'd wake me up anytime between 7 and 8, and depending how rested I was feeling or how awake he was, I'd either kiss my husband good morning and goodbye from bed or get up. If we stayed in bed, I'd nurse him to sleep again and go back to sleep again until he was ready to get up, at which point I'd let him wiggle around for tummy time until he got super frustrated and then I'd sit up, change him, let him fuss for a little bit (not cry) while I got coffee and breakfast and vitamins (which I started forgetting at some point) and then I'd sit us in the living room and nurse him. At about 2 months he started sleeping from 11pm all the way until 5am, no wakes in between, but the instant he turned 3 months, it seemed, we were suddenly back to 1am, 3am, 5am, and 7 or 8am. His morning wakes are clockwork, and if he goes to bed and sleep before 11 (which has been happening more and more over the last month), he also wakes at 11pm. I'm so tired, much more than before. We just finished moving a couple days ago, and two days in a row, I kid you not, I woke up and he was already in the bed beside me... It feels like this phase will never end, even though he's going to sleep earlier and waking for the day around 8 or 9, it feels like we'll be in this state of 1, 3 and 5am wakes for EVER. But maybe I'll try keeping him in bed with me after the first wake as a practice rather than an exhaustion tactic. I certainly can't do the whole intentionally letting them cry thing. It's bad enough when I'm trapped on the toilet when the crying starts!😂

[@kikimalla5456]

I NEEDED this video so badly. I’ve heard about sleep training and self soothing for soooo long now because we have been struggling with the sleep regression and my son is 5 months. Honestly I did not try the CIO method even though it was suggested to me so many times but I know my son doesn’t just cry and then stop.. he cries and cries and cries and screams and cries..... you get the point... until he’s tears and snot mixed and choking and coughing from crying so hard. And I’m sorry but I can’t let him be in the dark room like that crying. I always nurse to sleep and when I see he is drowsy I just slowly pull my boob out at the right time and he turns and goes right to sleep. Naps and night sleeps are way longer when he is beside me. We are currently in a very confusing stage but I will take all these moments and just soak it up. I agree with the other comments lol my immigrant mother never heard of sleep training

[@sissiebarthelemy5338]

I just get up and love on her because I can’t bring my self to listen to her cry too long 😭 so now I just suffer and don’t sleep lol

[@Haliosman]

Sissie Barthelemy Done that for 14 months, lost 30 pounds and close to losing my sanity 😂

[@tiffany8976]

How is her sleep now??

[@dawnforlife]

OH dear..first baby coming in September and I for sure cannot listen to baby cry. I'm gonna suffer lol! Dang

[@jasmineforeman3681]

Sounds just like me

[@trinidadianbeauty1]

@@Haliosman 😂😂😂😂 my life currently 😭

[@Warefamily2024]

I want to discuss sleep and general “transitioning” for my second baby coming in the fall. With my 1st, I coslept and breastfed for 2 years. I liked having her near me because I wanted to encourage that instinct and bonding especially after she was literally part of my body for 9 months... However, I struggled with knowing when to “transition” to the next phase and I found each transition was SO agonizing for all of us. Examples: > when to transition from being with mom (co-sleeping or bassinet for example), to say a CRIB + if baby is right next to mom in whatever capacity and they dry or wake are you grab right away or put arm on them right away doesn’t this make them dependent on you for that instant response (not saying it’s bad) just posing question of - does it make that later transition of them self soothing etc more difficult when you suddenly aren’t responding and what does this all look like. I mean at 3am I wasn’t into letting my 1st scream and scream when she woke so that my hard working husband would then also wake up. > when and HOW to cut off night BREASTMILK so that it’s easier and HOW/ what to do to get them to sleep and no longer be dependent on those night feedings? I felt like there was yelling and arguing because my 1st was a toddler when I finally took the milk away at night(2yrs). I couldn’t handle not getting any sleep after 2 years of giving my first my all. 🥹 Things I have been told so far: > I have learned/heard that not letting a baby fall asleep ON you if you’re breastfeeding so they don’t associate “I only sleep if I am on mommy” is a good place to start > putting them in a crib when they are tired but not yet asleep so they “fall” asleep in their physical space (crib) > that using crib for naps right away when they are a newborn will more easily develop the habit as opposed to car sleeping more than a crib or a side sleeper more than a crib.. > keeping a lot of noise so they can sleep deep in noise as opposed to being a 👻 when they are asleep. My first is such a light sleeper and we never made a peep! Sorry this is long winded. I don’t even know what my exact questions are. I just need a better flow and plan to be confident in this second time around that May have worked for several others. So please help! I am more open minded than I used to be! Any little nuance you can share I’d love to hear!!

[@Amy-fk5we]

I am going through the same thing as you but with my first!! So hard to know what to do! Bedsharing and breastsleeping right now too. Baby is 6 months and drinks more at night now than ever before, even if he eats two solid food meals a day. If you find any tricks let me know! My mom suggested me to feed him breast milk and formula before sleep to fill him good to see if it works 🤞🏻I’ll try anything, but no crying out method

[@stephb_]

Thanks for sharing, this is exactly what is happening to me and my baby. Makes me feel hopeful and less alone

[@nadezhdatirmenova7223]

Oh my God! Your story is so relatable to my story. Same thing, my son is exclusively breastfed and didn’t take bottle , so i was the one to put him asleep and he was a good sleeper before 4 month old sleep regression. We are co sleeping since he was 2 month old. And I still feed him to sleep or rock him to sleep. I never thought about sleep training, i am absolutely against that. I was also so stressed out and anxious about his naps and amount of hours of sleep and awakening he gets to the point that my marriage was challenged. I just decided to accept whatever the situation is .

[@anamartinez7489]

This video is 2 years old and it continues to be so helpful!!! 😊 Thanks for sharing.

[@jessiepineda6620]

Similar experience... Not worth seeing my child suffering in sweat, tears, screaming and hurting. She will only be this little for a short period. I feel like doctors and social media tries to treat your kid like a robot. Not all kids are the same and not all methods are for your child. Thanks for confirming what I have been feeling in these last couple of sleepless months.

[@sasaelsa]

Thank you . It makes me feel i am not alone

[@mafaraahmed3138]

I tried the cry it out and my baby cried so much like full on cried for 20 minutes until we couldn't let her cry any longer. Now she's deathly scared of her cot because of it. It took us a further 20 minutes to calm her down that night it was actually heartbreaking. Thank you for this video! Makes me feel like it's only that my baby isn't 'normal'

[@elizabethfredenburg6197]

Omg!!!! Thank you a lot!!! I was feeling guilty to sleep with my baby. The same background as your baby. Everything you said I agree with it I want see my baby happy

[@pm4149]

I'm really very glad to come across this video. I'm in the same boat. I'm an Indian and never heard of sleep training. But when my baby was 5 month, we tried CIO as i have come across many blogs which say baby had to sleep through the night but CIO didn't work for us either. I'm a working mom who exclusively breastfeed and can only get some sleep if I bed share with him. After watching this video, I feel a bit relieved. Do what is best for your family.

[@innerpiecepeace5030]

my daughter was born in 1977 in the US. sleep training didn't exist then, thank god. i never made a big deal about her nap schedule. she was a decent sleeper and napper and overall easy child. still, i never got into the mental overthinking of her 'schedule,' it was more a natural casual everyday thing, i was home with her and didn't have an active life outside of my home, busy w/ engagements, projects, work. i was home with her, that was my chosen world. i work with babies and toddlers, preschoolers, and currently am taking care of a 7 month old child in my home. her mother is concerned with the timings of feedings and naps, which is sensible, but her child takes 20-30 minute naps at home. i am just doing things the way that comes natural to me. i don't put her down according to the clock. i wait for her to be truly sleepy, do some bedtime routines w/ her, give her some breast milk from a bottle and she gets swept away by sleep itself, herself. she sleeps 2-3 hours, rather than the catnaps that go on at home. i've never resonated with sleep training. i don't believe in 'babies need to cry as a part of the process of putting themselves to sleep' rationale. mothers these days are often working. they have scheduling needs themselves. it seems to me sleep training is there to accommodate the mother's needs mostly. that babies need to accomodate the adults rather than adults accomodating the baby. i'm glad you found co-sleeping to work for you and your child. i kept thinking as i listened to you that that might be workable~ yeah, everyone has to find out what works for themselves, and yeah, i also see sleep training and baby led weaning as major trends everyone is jumping on board with as well as 'postpartum issues,' which no-one talked about unless they had an unusually hard childbirth and time after adjusting. in fact, it was called 'post partum depression,' as for some mothers it was a very hard time, but that was more the exception than the rule. so all these trends i tend to see as just that. i tend to take some distance from them, try not to judge others, tho in my mind i question the true validity of these mindsets. Especially when they contribute to what you exprienced, being overly focused and concerned about 'doing it right,' having a peaceful night's sleep, the over thinking, over emphasis and anxiety and overwhelm all of this 'training' creates~

[@anonymoussmith173]

❤ thank you for sharing it’s really nice to hear someone speak negatively about the cry it out method because it doesn’t work for a lot of people and not that many people talk about it and it seems completely unnatural to me to let your baby cry for hours on end I literally can’t let him cry for one minute without picking him up I don’t want to and I’ve been cosleeping with him since he’s born he wakes up a few times in the night to eat it’s the easiest way I don’t have to get up and pick him up and feed him put him right back down both can stay half asleep through the whole thing. A lot of Native American tribes co sleep with their babies until they’re teenagers it’s normal and a lot of other places. follow your instincts all moms don’t do what you think you should do, do what feels right in your heart what seems the best for you and your child God bless all you moms!❤

[@florenciabalori3625]

Ii still baffles me that people don't realize there's a million shades of gray between nursing to sleep and CIO method. I found my own balance with my child and have been doing a super gradual thing for three months. Still working on it, we have good nights and bad nights but good nights are now outnumbering the bad ones, I need to be flexible, creative and listen to what my child is trying to tell me about her needs. She now at 7months puts herself to sleep most of the time without even fussing, even though she still wakes up and nurses once or twice a night. We go back and forth all the time, but we have a structure to go back to and work around to acommodate anything that comes up. It's not perfect but I get more rest and I feel that I'm giving my baby and myself a better chance at having better rest. We found our own ad hoc method.

[@wonderland1452]

Same here, breast feeding to sleep is what I do now. He is nearly 5 month, he wakes up every 2 or 1 hr through night, if i dont feed him he will cry loud and wake up my husband. So i just feed him then unlach him put him back to crib in our bedroom. No sleep training as I cant take his crying for this long. Probably later i will bed share as I grow up in this way.

[@MJ31579]

Mine is 9 months getting up atleast every 2 hours. And I go to work full time 😔 glad I'm not the only one struggling

[@juliaedwards7331]

Oh my gosh I am so thankful for this video! This sounds exactly like my son! I stress all the time about naps, lengths of naps, etc. This video helped me feel like I'm not alone and seriously eased my stress🙌🏽 thank you for being so transparent and for making this video❤️❤️❤️

[@ladybugflv]

This description fits my situation so well, except that it started with the 8 month regression.

[@лизахабибулина-ь2р]

many many thanks for your video and sharing your experience! I feel so grateful to you for helping to mentally accept these difficult sleep phases and letting go of this pressure to try cio methods. btw, I read some studies that statistically speaking, the cio methods did not improve the baby sleep quality, so it kind of corresponds to your child's 2 hours screaming when you tried cio.

[@kileydawes4475]

This is exactly what we do and co sleeping has been the best thing ever for our family!!! Thank you for sharing! It can be such a source of anxiety for mamas and I’m so glad you’re sharing on this!

[@AaliyaKhan]

I wish we could speak about it. I read different books and did what felt was right. I think for a kid this amall you have to keep holding him to your chest, calmin him down in a dark enough room and putting him back. If the baby is stressed, he won't calm down. Also, if his body is tense, he won't sleep. If he's overtired and underslept, he won't sleep. You can try safe swaddling for a few days and then stop doin it. Maybe it will work. It works for my 7m. When his sleep window is left behind and he is up too long, I have to hold his arms and legs in a clutch to give his body tim to calm down. Then he sleeps. So, body always needs to be calm and muscles relaxed to fall asleep. Sleep is important for his development. You will find something that works, I pray

[@AaliyaKhan]

I'm saying this after only reading books and watching videos on sleep training. I trained my 22m and 7m without making them cry for hours or all night

[@aleksandranikolic6336]

Girl,while I'm listetning to you,it's like you are talking about my baby. I feel so much better now,I think I'm gonna akcept a fact that my baby can not sleep whole night with 8 months. We also tried sleep training method,he fal a sleep after 45 minutes of crying,and after that I was crying because I feelt so bad,I feel so sorry about him. :( Thank you for this video,it helps me a lot 💖 p.s. Sorry for my english I am from Serbia 😂

[@Across_The_Ocean_Story]

I also thought I am going to do the CIO before I had my baby now I can handle max 5 minutes of her crying. I tried letting her cry and I can only stand it for few minutes and then it was very hard to console my daughter. I dropped the idea of CIO. 2 hours sounds very harsh, I would probably cry... THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!!

[@hisloveiseternal1]

It’s tough but these snuggles at night are temporary ❤️

[@imansandberg8744]

So much of this was our experience, then we put her crib sidecar to our bed. Now when she wakes in the night I lean over, nurse her and shes falls right back asleep in her crib.

[@surichards1446]

This is 5 years ago! How is it going now? This video saved my sanity x thankyou

[@prernasharma1307]

And she spoke the reality.... I am going through exact same phase..... My baby comfort nurses the whole night. Personally, I am a strong advocate of co-sleeping. All these sleep training methods are way too overrated

[@romancetips365]

My baby only sleeps with us. I tried the cio method and she cried pretty hard but fell asleep. I had a feeling something was wrong so I checked her crib. She wasn't breathing properly in her sleep. She wasn't breathing for a while. I had to keep nudging her to get her to breathe. I got so scared I had to lay with her and press her against me so she could feel me breathing. She didn't even wake up through all of this. After a few minutes her breathing normalized because she started copying my breathing. I stayed up all night making sure her breathing was fine. I am afraid to let her sleep in her crib at all.

[@AnnaKerise]

I don’t think I can stand listening to my baby girl cry and sit there knowing she’s upset and stressing. Co sleeping might be frowned upon but I tell myself that I will never regret spending more time with her. Someday she will grow up and I will never get to cuddle with her again. She just turned 5 months and I think we are still in sleep regression phase maybe or maybe she just wakes up often as the new norm but that’s ok. The only think I don’t put her in the crib because when I do she wakes up. So I’ll be working on that for now. To have her sleep in the crib until we are in bed

[@andreak86]

Thank you for sharing! You’re right, this is not shared enough. I completely relate to your experience. I felt so pressured to sleep train and it stopped working when he no longer wanted his pacifier. Now we cosleep and I nurse throughout the night. I had to realize that it’s a normal thing babies go through and am okay with it.

[@GodisInYourJobSearch]

Wow. Listening. And ur baby before 4 months was identical to mine. And then the 4 month issues too.. same. A month into it now. Trying to just do my best to teach her to self soothe at naps and at night. Learning the habits slowly. Not rushing to grab her right away. Not nursing to sleep. Doing more drowsy but awake…. She’s slowly getting it. And formal sleep training just doesn’t feel right for us.

[@jhie09lovingu]

Thank you for this video. I'm having a hard time with my 2nd baby, she's 9 months now and im exausted, your story is what I'm experiencing now. Thank you so much for sharing. It's really help me. Now I can move forward not stressing out. Thank you. BLESS your heart.

[@EmilyStebbs]

I just came across this video... Funny because tonight was the night I was going to try sleep training my 9 month old... I haven't been too sure about it, but being so sleep deprived I'm willing to try anything. I'm going to try other options. I don't co sleep, we have him in a pack n play next to our bed, but he wakes up 2-3 nights and I'm being so obsessive over the amount of sleep/time overnight. Others are right... Time is precious and this too will pass

[@aleay7779]

When you let your baby cry his body is releasing Cortisol stress hormone. After releasing so much of the Cortisol his body finally releases Serotonin. That's why they eventually fall asleep.

[@laurenschultz9080]

This isn’t always the case, studies show that short periods of crying are normal and that babies don’t release a lot of coritsol when they cry for 15-20 mins.

[@baileymadison9019]

I found that some babies are just not ready. I did not attempt sleep training until my babies were 14 months ( they are twins) and one was just not sleeping because they realize if they cry I will take them out of the crib. Both of them would wake up 2-3 times in the night which is brutal when there is two of them. Finally, I did cry it out and they were old enough that they caught on super fast. They did not seem distressed and often would be asleep almost immediately after being placed in their crib. Every baby is different. I have identical twins and one sleeps perfectly fine (she did not need sleep training and would sleep like a rock while her sister was crying) while the other needed that to be able to fall asleep at a reasonable time and stay asleep.

[@k.y.r.sar.7644]

Worst think you can do is sleep training while in the 3 to 5 month progression. It’s not actually a 4 month progression, it’s around 4 month. That means that can happened from 3 to 5 months old. And if you try sleep training at this time it’s going to be catastrophic. The baby it’s confused already and it’s having a hard time to sleep anyway because of the progression, so trying to train them at this point it’s not a good idea. Sleep training ideally can start from 6 to 7 month old and that depends on the baby. It’s a good time to start when your baby it’s calm and not stressed out already from other factors. “4 month” progression and sleep training it’s a no no!!

[@natashavitale]

So funny seeing this. We had a very similar experience with CIO, but always bedshared until he started rolling and we needed to get him to the crib for safety during naps/early night sleep. We also start the night in the crib now and he comes to bed after the first wakeup, usually after 5 hours. I was also willing to try CIO but it just didn’t work. So glad to hear your story is so much like mine!

[@tweetyana87]

I have a 7 month old who is waking up every 3 to 4 hours, and I MUST nurse her to sleep, or she would just scream and cry... This video was really reassuring for me that one day my baby will sleep through the night. Thank you for sharing your story! It really helped to know that I am not the only one 💜

[@thendralnirmal]

When did she start sleeping through the night

[@griseldagoytia3209]

I stumbled upon your video while searching for a sleep training video for my 10MO because we’ve been co-sleeping since he was about 4 months and I’m so sleep deprived that I said, ok I need to do something. Today was day two of me trying the pick up, put down method and last night it went ok but as I was trying it for his nap earlier today it was just not working. He cried for two hours straight. As I sat next to his crib I kept asking myself, am I doing the right thing? Eventually i gave in and just nursed him to sleep. It broke my heart to hear him cry like that. I knew deep down I couldn’t do it again. So thank you for making this video because it made me feel like I’m not the only one struggling. I will keep telling myself it’s just a phase and eventually he will grow out of it. Until then I will enjoy the endless cuddles even if I’m sleep deprived lol

[@monalefae]

Didn’t work for my twins but putting them on a feeding schedule made a world of difference with their sleep, they get sleepy at the same time when they eat around the same time. We bed shared for the first 3-4 months and we all go sooo much better sleep.

[@natalieallison3006]

I just want to say thank you - I could write the exact same thing about my baby boy. We tried CIO for 10 minutes the other day and couldn’t even handle that! We cosleep and it makes such a difference but you’re right it’s all just a phase. This video is so refreshing

[@thelaurenanya]

Thank you for this video…My baby and I had an awful day trying the cry out method. Emotionally I can’t bear it.

[@Sweetdrownsoda]

I absolutely needed to see this video and I accidentally found it. Thank u for sharing and being so honest!

[@NatasaZo]

Dude, thank you. Im crying. I needed this.

[@chisanainoris5364]

If you’re going to sleep train you should go through your plan/methods with your pediatrician first before eliminating night feeds, getting rid of the pacifier etc.

[@jocelynsaito1268]

Chisanainori S it’s always a good idea to consult your pediatrician but you may be surprised to know that most are not well versed in the consequences of sleep training or night weaning too early (mostly because they aren’t well versed in the specifics of breastfeeding). So take your pediatricians recommendations but also do your own research.

[@lebosnyman6776]

i am struggling because i am the only one that can soothe and put him to sleep thats why i decided to try out the Ferber method, 20min of check ins, i couldnt stand hearing him cry. i dont know if i will try it again. my child was just scared the entire week. he is 7 months now

[@andreaaigner441]

Actually this method is really traumatic for a baby. Especially if it is breast feed! We have a lot of information about this in Germany/Austria. It is really sad that this is still promoted.

[@bluebear2301]

You don't know how much this video helped me. Thank you.

[@charugangal6778]

Can relate to each and every word you say, Specially the mommy anxiety about naps and schedule and baby routine.

[@imnotquiteconvinced]

I cosleep with my son until 16 months, a month before his sister was born, he didn’t have a nursing sleep association, he had a rocking one, which by around 3 months turned into a nightmare, where it was a minimum of 45 min of rocking to go to sleep each time, at 3.5 months I did the cry it in method, so I put him in his docatot, gave him his pacifier, laid next to him and put my hand on his chest until he fell asleep, first time took 30 minutes, crying pretty hard for first bit and then became whining, he did not sleep 12 hours through the night until 11.5 months old, but after that I didn’t have to do anything to get him to go back to sleep if he woke up to nurse besides cuddle with him or lay next to him. I feel like this method was a good compromise, wear he learned how to fall asleep without rocking/nursing, but didn’t feel like I abandoned him, and his self soothing method became talking himself to sleep, which is kind of adorable.

[@kitty2345]

@@ChelseaSaidTV That’s what we’re not going to do, shame a mother. If you don’t have anything supportive or relevant to say then keep it to yourself, thank you.

[@tamstreisel4751]

I have a different problem. My kiddo who is almost 3 month now sleeps good at night, 3-5 hours stretch then wake up to eat. But for nap, she will not lay down in her crib or bassinet. She would want to be nursed and held. I tried to put her down on the couch whenever I can but she will wake up after few minutes. If I'm lucky, she would stay as sleep for like half an hour to an hour.

[@katrobinson321]

Thank you so much for this video! There is so many videos on how ‘perfect’ babies sleep and how sleep training and schedules is important and work. Everything you said was exactly what we have been going through. I drive crying sometimes cause I’m so stressed she isn’t conforming to what every other baby is. I have let go and I let her do her own thing and I feel so much better. Thank you for sharing

[@kimwold]

Omg, it's crazy, you just described exactly how it was with baby before the 4 month regression, great sleeper, and i was feeling great, then it all went down cliff

[@stephaniemartin6500]

My life right now 😴

[@piagaspar2727]

“Everything worked for like, two weeks, and then something would change” - this is so relatable 😂🥲

[@marquesadiablo6155]

I never even heard of sleeping training .. I feel it’s a “younger generation” thing .. I’m not sure .. I had my baby at 40 and gladly got up every 1 - 2 hours to nurse or comfort.. if you have a baby in your 20’s or 30’s.. you’re so young , what’s the problem of getting up especially in their first year of life .. that’s what you are suppose to do .. they just entered a big, scary world.. they need your love & comfort !!

[@luckyahmed200]

A big piece of it is that women are working and maternity leaves are short. It’s hard to be sleep deprived, be a parent to a baby and work efficiently to bring home a paycheck. I imagine the older generations that were able to live off a single income didn’t have that issue or those that had later babies had enough of a cushion monetarily that it made things easier

[@xMissxSarahxBrownx]

Thank you, truly. Your honesty means so much to me. It’s so hard when you’re absolutely exhausted, and it’s so reassuring to hear that I’m not alone. Yay to doing what we think is best for us and our babies! It’s so important that Mum’s show love to other Mum’s, whatever differences we have☺️

[@dawnforlife]

First baby in September. Nervous! hahah I need my sleep!

[@assirembenbourek5385]

Its like you are telling my story life this is what im living with my baby

[@jaimeerivera12]

This is the best video! Thank you for sharing your honest experience!

[@panayotadestiny5125]

There is a pretty simple trick for baby sleep, just follow your baby.

[@doctorsallyhealthymum697]

Oh my god... thank you... thank you.... I thought I was the only one...

[@janinevanderbank6295]

this video is so encouraging! thanks for sharing, this is exactly what we started doing at around 6months and I kind of didnt know it was 'a method' but at this point it really works better for all to get better sleep...

[@trixo100]

You’re a great support system 🙌🏼 thanks for sharing!♥️

[@esterfernandezsanchez6895]

Thanks for sharing. I am glad I found this video because it describes literally my journey with baby sleep for the past 8 month since mine was born. I never try or had the intention to try any sleep training method tho and your “fail” reassures me that sleep is maturational and it will get better eventually. Again thanks!!!!!

[@stringerchick3650]

Crying as I watch thos because we are on the middle of trying the ferber method with my 4 and half month old. Oh my gosh this is so hard I never could have imagined how hard this would be