My coming out story!

[@ted1091]

on the contrary - you were eloquent and focused. Thank you. I came out at 18 in NY in 1974 (65 now). I did so because I had to since I wanted to be an activist (it was only 5 years after the Stonewall Riots and things were still extremely difficult for us). I never left the front lines. It was a long, difficult struggle. We did it because we had to, but also because we wanted to create a world that was better for future generations of Gay people. Watching your video is proof that all that rebellion was worth it. I am very happy for you. It's clear you will make an excellent physician, and husband. To everyone watching, please just remember that some amazing Gay people came before and fought hard. We didn'tget here by accident - and there's still a lot more work to be done, especially for Gay youth of color, as well as internationally.

[@patrikswim]

We the younger generations owe MUCH to our predecessors and even more to our successors.

[@mlb6791]

I appreciate your story! Thank you for sharing it. The first of many things that resonates with me is how challenging it is to accept yourself for who you are. It took me days to say the words “I am gay” out loud and I hated the way it sounded for a long time. So inspiring to have your account documented like this. You’re probably done with med school by now and doing amazing things and I wish you the best!!! ❤

[@jamesknight3738]

I'm gay too. It gets better over time I came out in the 1990s very different time. You'll do fine my young friend, you have no idea what you missed in the 1990s. Coming out in the early 1990s was very very hard too. If you only knew so please be nice to the older Gays we painted the way your generation we understand your stories, we lived them too.

[@redhood8141]

You guys are the truly amazing ones, Coming out and standing tall when no one wanted to talk about it

[@Leftatalbuquerque]

Child. Some of us came out in the early 80's. Not only did we not have community, but Disco had just died and gay bars were just beginning to realize that we preferred Dance to Rock. And HIV/AIDS was just starting. many of us did not live to see KZbin, much less the internet.

[@stevefreedman470]

I came out in the early 90s myself at 27 and although it doesn't matter when you come out...the important thing is that you come out. I had a very good coming out to friends and family as they were all waiting for me to come out....coming out today you kids are coming out earlier and earlier. Just realize us older gay folk paved the way for you younger gay people to have your freedoms and e everything else. Go and be and live your lives happy, joyous and free! Loved your video sweetheart😊❤👍💜💚💙💛💋🎶🎵

[@JChrisTurner1234]

I watched this video tonight and really enjoyed your story, your style, delivery, voice and face. This video will be very helpful to any young person that is getting ready to come out but is afraid and needs advice. Great job, Patrick.

[@rak1711]

Patrick, by accident I found your video...which enveloped me with warmth, pride and energy. Your story is a moving chronicled catharsis, so genuine it causes the skin to tingle, a perspective on personal determination, a statement of self-esteem realized and embraced...a true inspiration in the power of positive thinking. I relate to your message, as I experienced my coming out in medical school, the culmination of a long and terrifying journey marked by uncertainty and confusion until I shared 'my secret' with a special person.

[@andrewjackson5805]

In January of 2019 I came out as gay. I am 63 years old. I lied to myself and others for fifty years.Because I came from an alcoholic home (both parents) and just to survive I stopped feeling any emotions. I walked around with a pleasant expression on my face. When I was attracted to men at puberty. I buried those feelings also. I had already started my own addiction to food. I piled the food on top of my own feelings, burying them deeper and deeper. The fatter I got built a barrier between me and others. By 6th grade I was as big in weight as my father. The feelings were buried so deep and I never took them out to examine them. When I first heard the word homosexual I had to look it up in the dictionary. I lived in fear that people would guess or get.to close to see the fraud I thought I was. I finally acknowledged my feelings to a counselor in my twenties,but no one else until I came out to my best friend at 30. Even then it would take me three hours just to say, I am gay. I continued to go to counseling until I was fifty. I just used it to talk. It never helped with my gay issues but gave me clarity of what it meant to grow up in an alcoholic home. I have now at 63 come out to all my friends but one and my brother who I will see in April and tell him.face to face. It's hard. It takes courage and the road is sometimes Rocky but videos like yours make it easier. Andy, [e-mail]

[@redhood8141]

"Hey everyone, I am Patrick and I am Gay" i think that may have been the first time I've seen a coming out video that just starts with the point, then explains. I loved this! I hope You are still doing well Patrick 5 years later

[@MTheChequeGuy]

“I’m Matt and I’m gay.” I was 24 when I first said that and now I’m 42... I still need to come out, but it’s easier now than at any other time. Thank you for being you!

[@cooper712]

Thanks for putting yourself out there man. I came this year (I'm 17), and it's been a great experience, but the thing I've struggled with most the poor representation of gay people. I'm not some super effeminate person, and I don't like the stereotypical things, so it's good to see people who I can better identify with.

[@patrikswim]

Congratulations on coming out! It's definitely an incredible, life-changing experience. There are lots of different types of gay people out there. We are easily just as diverse as the straight populace!

[@RB-yg7jw]

Along my journey I shared the same anxiety, but I’ve come to understand and embrace the tremendous diversity of the LGBT+ community. Remember those in our community who have the traits that we were so worried about have historically been the ones who have suffered the most. They could not hide who they are, and frankly most effeminate str8 men and masculine women have endured the same degree of bullying. Remember, it wasn’t the bromos storming out of the Stonewall Bar to physically confront the police after finally being pushed to their limit, it was largely drag queens. We owe these people so much, they have led the fight for our equality out of the sheer need to survive, and they still face the majority of bullying and violence in our community. I’m glad I finally gained the courage to stand alongside them and finally start carrying my share of the load.

[@redhood8141]

@@patrikswim Well your coming out story is one of the best ones I've seen, so Genuine and honest. I just hope you are doing well and enjoying 2020 so far

[@redhood8141]

@@RB-yg7jw Wow, those are powerful words and you are right, Never forget 😄 Hope you are enjoying life

[@redhood8141]

Cooper, You are so strong and Amazing, I hope everything's worked out for the best for you. Hope you are enjoying your New year as well

[@MyTimeOutt]

Beautifully told. I hope that I can show this to my friend who needs to know that he can do this thing & stop living a double life.

[@tannereustace]

It's so awesome that you used other videos as inspiration and now you get to be an inspiration for others! It's people like you who helped me, a fellow pre-health student, come out myself. In fact, I came out in my high school yearbook quote: "I started high school with straight A's...now I'm not even straight! I'm still me, though!" And now I work as a Pride Representative at my college and advocate for queer inclusivity in STEM, and I also post pride month-themed piano covers! Thank you for helping make a positive change in the world :)

[@weda0604]

I feel the biggest outcomes of your experience were also the same for me. I was so impressed with my family and friends for being supportive. Especially when I thought some would not. Prior to coming out to some friends who I had tipped off that something was up, one of my buddies asked to hang out and find out what was bothering me. I'm very glad he did this because I was about to tell nearly a dozen people over Labor Day weekend but I was gay. The fact Erik knew already made me feel much less alone. It's really hard to describe in words but yes having that individual who also knows is very helpful. Thanks so much for sharing the story!

[@patrikswim]

Thanks for the comment! Glad you had a positive experience, too!

[@darinlegore284]

so right! Self denial and rejection causes internalized self-hatred/homophobia. Thank you. Wish you'd keep us updated from time to time.

[@sandbox1803]

One of the most well stated and eloquent coming out stories I have ever watched. Beautiful and heartwarming

[@samdemetrios2251]

Damn, you are a really good communicator! Out of all the coming out videos I have watched on KZbin this past year (It feels like I've watched all of them that exist on this platform) yours I could relate to with every single little detail. It's crazy... Thank You so much for uploading this and sharing your story with all of us! I hope to fully come out by the end of high school before I graduate this year (I'm out to one family member and one friend from school). I really want you to know how much this means to me and hopefully one day I will be able to have the courage you showed us, to share your story and continue to add on to the collection of coming out videos that will inspire so many more to come! Love from Canada 🇨🇦

[@patrikswim]

So glad that my story could help you on your journey! Best wishes

[@limolnar]

This video from 10 years ago still impacts people, Patrik. Thanks for sharing your story. It's very brave and it matters! Coming out in the 80s was really tough; I ended up on the street. So glad that things are open enough to be able to talk about it with someone nowadays.

[@tsmith7374]

Great video !!!!!!!....I am 47 now and I didn't come out until I was 28.. So I know how hard it is to come out...I only wish I had come out sooner. ............I think that it is great and very important that people like you share such personal experiences about yourself with the hopes of helping someone else. ......I wish we only had you tube 20 years ago.

[@patrikswim]

Completely agree. Thanks!

[@tsmith7374]

***** I grew up in rural alabama It would have been great to have other people to even talk to...I think that it would have made life much easier..47 y/o here how about you?

[@hectorabcdefg9076]

im 46 and never came out because of fear. Now Im old and it is very hard to find a date.

[@richarddavis2107]

I didn’t come out ‘till I was 40 years old totally agree with the comments about you tube supporting people.

[@corrieengelbrecht5327]

@@patrikswim love. Jou

[@robertfreriks7278]

Hi mister, I just wanted to give you back that your video found it's way to my heart, that I think you are great and superbly strong and inspirational as you are. As a 55 year old dutch gay guy I don't need advice on coming out anymore, luckyly, but your video sure vitalized my gay awareness again, and I thank you for it. You seem strong enough to find you're way on your own, you'll be fine. All the best to you, my younger far away gay brother of mine, good to know you're there! With joy, respect and love, Robert, Netherlands

[@azucarinho1]

"O Brave New World that has such people in it!" All the best to you!

[@patrikswim]

+Ernst Pattynama Thanks! And to you

[@davidhoulder56]

Such a lovely story. I’m 68 but not completely out. Thank you so much. Xxx

[@davidcohen7801]

I’m 19 and pretty much have the same story, except I went to a religious (unaccepting) high school (could be expelled based on being gay) so I came out in college, far away from home, and told only my three close friends and my father (who is a very accepting person) I told him not to tell anyone, including my religious mom (there divorced btw). But college is great and coming out feels amazing. Wish I had the courage to just tell people in my community but it scares the shit out of me (knowing their reaction). Also, when I first decided I guess to finally accept the fact that I’m gay, (which didn’t happen for a while) I was pretty happy that I figured out I wasn’t crazy and there was a word for it. I also used to tell myself that I was a actor from birth, it’s a choice-less choice.

[@redhood8141]

Wow, this is an amazing story. I'm sorry that you ever had to feel like there was something wrong with you. You sound amazing and I just hope it gets better and better for you. You deserve nothing but love

[@dubon9999]

This why it is important that we Gay men have our own spaces to talk about affairs that affect us and connect with other Gay men; in the same way that straight men and women have their own spaces, and straight men and women must respect Gay spaces and respect our differences 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[@athenaatwar475]

Damn, that was inspirational and uplifting af

[@patrikswim]

Thank you!

[@richarddavis2107]

Congratulations I had to wait til I was 40years old before I came out,so well done.

[@patrikhornak3952]

Thanks!

[@redhood8141]

For everyone its different, theres no time period you have to do it. I'm assuming you are much happier now tho 😁

[@tthinker9897]

The next big important hurdle in your life is choosing a life-mate, if you choose to marry. I am gay also, and old now, so here's what I wish I knew when I was young. 1) Not every gay man is capable of or desires monogamy (and one does not mean the other). Decide what you want in a married relationship and be sure your prospective spouse wants, and is capable of, the same thing. This also means exploring whether this person is always fully honest, or if they will deceive to tell you what you want to hear. 2) If you do want monogamy and your betrothed does also, do you want a family - do you want to adopt or have surrogate children? This should not be rushed into even if you both do want it; take time to enjoy married life and to learn to live life as a team-unit rather than individuals. This doesn't mean sacrificing your individualities, but exploring what will be interests unique to each of you, and what goals and interests you share in together. 3) Don't be afraid to explore sexual compatibility; all people gay and straight have sexual desires and they differ. A wonderful person who really sexually doesn't really fulfill your desires, is in the end a great friend, but a poor candidate for a life-long spouse. On the other hand, a very sexually desirable person who does not meet your monogamy expectation or who is dishonest would be a disastrous choice. 4) Finally, I just want to stress again to look for someone who is fully honest always, with their own self and with you. A person who is deceptive brings cancer into a relationship that will eventually kill it. This means they will not invite flirtation or even consider a fling with a co-worker, a friend or a stranger they meet. If you do your homework in exploring all of this before tying the knot, you may save yourself from years of heartache and depression. Do it right the first time - wish I had, but I had no mentor.

[@ThatGuyAdrian96]

I love all of those coming out stories! Btw, great video! I hope so see more from you!

[@patrikswim]

Thanks!

[@garygary9310]

AWSUME video!!!!! Congrats.on coming out! Your so lucky you didn't wait until your in your 50's like me to come out. I wish you the very best and hope you find the boy of your dreams!!! Who ever gets you is getting a GEM!!!!!!!!!

[@patrikswim]

+Gary Gary Thank you very much! All the best.

[@paulandrews298]

Great video dude, glad your happy with yourself now!

[@patrikswim]

Thank you!

[@redhood8141]

Well, I hope you guys are both happy, 3 years later hehe

[@tranquility9325]

Thank you for being so open and honest. How is your career going?

[@jamesburress2284]

Lord Bless 🙌 you Patrick!!Thank you for sharing your story!!

[@ronsmith2241]

Well done. Great story. You did really well. SO different from mine. Homosexuality was illegal until I was 44. I could have seen sent to jail for up to 21 years if I was caught being gay. I was married to my accepting wife for 51 years and cared for her with MS for 26 years before she passed. I went through 13 years of reparative therapy including electronic shock therapy. I was a Baptist Pastor at one stage. But I was told I am not welcome to even attend because I am gay. I came out generally when I was 69. I am now free to be the gay man I always was. I am 77 but not looking for a boyfriend/husband. Too old now. But when I started to attend a retirees group, I had to go back into the closet to be accepted. That is a common experience for older gays unfortunately. But both my adult kids are very accepting which is good. I am fortunate.

[@trisshandy]

Great story - thanks for sharing! Best wishes for med school and a wonderful life.

[@patrikswim]

Thanks so much :)

[@livinginlux]

It's wonderful that you found the courage to come out, and that you've received the utter support you deserve. One thing I find interesting/odd about your coming out story. You describe your friend Megan as "the first person you came out to," "the one person who knows," and so on. But you'd already come out to your boyfriend, and to other gay people! Gay people are people too, you know! And in my book, telling another gay person also counts as coming out.

[@robertbottorff763]

Great video!! Thanks for sharing your story, it helps so much when people like you are open and honest.

[@montehill1364]

You’re a very handsome, very articulate young man that will accomplish anything you set your mind to. Congratulations!

[@allenbergum8988]

Amazing...I fell in love with my first boyfriend during my first year of medical school. And started the coming-out experience which was similar. I have been with my "partner", so mean spouse, for over 40 years. Good luck to you, to.

[@pauldunn7965]

Good for you! Thank you so much for sharing your story. It helps!

[@TheDeanstoney]

Thanks for sharing your story!

[@patrikhornak3952]

Thanks!

[@nathanhowton1948]

I am wanting to come out. btw you are cute.

[@redhood8141]

Did you ever come out? Lol And yes, I agree he is

[@ryanlaffan7064]

This is really powerful. I’m 29 and I haven’t plucked up the courage yet

[@MaskedBishop]

I came out 14 years ago to my family and one close friend, a few years later to other people, and now I'm openly gay on FB. I'm 34 and something is still holding me back from pursuing dates and relationships, but just knowing that others know made everyday life so much easier.. I just hate those moments when you're asked about your girlfriends or a "traditional" marriage and you have to lie or somehow change the topic.. Also you don't have to hold back on saying something that doesn't even have to do with guys, but might make you look gay. Well, not all reactions were positive, and two close friends have even left my life, but.. if they can't like me for who I am, they haven't been friends I could trust to begin with anyways. I'm living in Germany btw where it's politically correct to treat LGBT people with respect. I wouldn't expect that same positive outcome in African countries or China. 🙈

[@4jimmycurtis]

Love your video! I don't know any gay people and even being out I still need some uplifting words at times. Your video is one of the videos I watch to feel better. Thank you!

[@patrikswim]

+4jimmycurtis Glad to hear that! Best to you!

[@reuterromain1054]

You seem to be a lovable person. Please give us an update of your situation because your video is already 10 years old. How are you doing now?

[@Guyalone5]

I am still closed and you gave a lot to think about. I hope that med school is going ok. Plus I love the video

[@patrikswim]

Thank you! Med school is going well :)

[@johnbrown3711]

One of the best coming out stories on KZbin. I'm inspired!

[@patrikhornak3952]

Thank you! Hope it was helpful!

[@redhood8141]

@@patrikhornak3952 It was AMAZING, like you bud. Hope you are doing well

[@redhood8141]

I couldn't agree more John. Hope you are doing well

[@SeanShimamoto]

I’m sure you’re out by now, but I didn’t come out to my college classmates until we started applying for doctoral programs...and my undergrad was in Exercise Physiology, so all of my classmates were your typical jocks...and when I came out to everyone, they ALL were really supportive. Actually, they initially thought I was just kidding around ‘cause I didn’t look/act like the stereotypical gay dude...but when they realized I was serious, they were remarkably supportive. So I just want people to know that it’s very possible to have your friends support you...especially in today’s day and age. I’m 45 now and it makes me so happy to see how far gay people have come...’cause I came out to everyone 20 years ago and at the time, my situation wasn’t typical...so I’m glad to see that that’s the case now. I hope things are going well for you now because you seem like a really good guy and you’re so handsome and seem to be gaining confidence. I wish you the best and thank you for sharing your story. 😁

[@redhood8141]

Lol Leave it to Sean to always have a great Comment

[@chipwickham4176]

Thank you for sharing. Very well expressed

[@donaldstorm4959]

Thanks Patrick thanks for taking the time.

[@Guyalone5]

I am happy that you came out and I hope the best for you.

[@patrikswim]

Thanks!

[@redhood8141]

JUSTIN HANSON I hope everything is going well for you too. Love your profile picture 😄

[@jeroengortworst9994]

Great video man! I could relate to many things you have said. I realized when I made my coming out video that I should be so lucky to have so many supportive people around me. I wish you all the best! And I subscribed!

[@patrikswim]

+Jeroen Reports Thanks so much!

[@nuuraabdulkadir3217]

Jeroen Reports do you really hate your parents if they don’t accept you

[@gr8god4u]

Brave handsome man! Be bold! Thanx 4 being strong. 😇

[@patrikswim]

+gr8god4u Thank you!

[@gr8god4u]

+patrikswim you are most welcome handsome

[@anachreon01]

Thanks so much, it's always great to hear that so many have a great coming out experience.

[@patrikhornak3952]

Thanks!

[@Xavieralex83]

Very courageous coming out good luck and thanks you for your story .hello From France :)I'm with my boyfriend since 16 years and it was not easy every day :)

[@patrikswim]

+xavier de Kergaradec Bonjour et merci!

[@patrikswim]

+xavier de Kergaradec Bonjour et merci!

[@Xavieralex83]

My pleasure 😃

[@redhood8141]

@@Xavieralex83 *Wishing I knew French* I'm sorry that it was hard but I hope everything is going well for you now. You deserve nothing but love 🐨

[@lopezredone]

I appreciate you honesty and for sharing this. It really helps. Its a big deal.

[@patrikhornak3952]

Thank you! Glad it was helpful!

[@redhood8141]

@@patrikhornak3952 You are such an amazing person 😁 Hope everything is going well for you

[@redhood8141]

John Lopez Hope everything is going well for you too

[@rayrothermel4861]

Great job on the video. Love the shirt. Congrats on coming out and taking that BIG step.

[@patrikswim]

+Ray Rothermel Thank you! Appreciate it!

[@markgordon5387]

I'm 55 in 2024. My parents passed away, and I never came out. I had my first crush when I was 6 years old. I stared at pictures of male classmates, for ages. I have never told anyone. I have two doctorates, two master's degree, and a double bachelor's. I collected degrees instead of dating. I took care of my mother, until she passed away. I'm alone, but I'm happy. I miss my one true love from grammar school.

[@rothvinbosley1335]

You never know what people will say or do. One has to be prepared to lose friends too. The worst is to be kicked out at 15 and have to make a life on your own. In vary religious communities you would have to be ready for an extreme back-lash. I can only say you do feel free for the first time! Hiding who you are is not a very productive way to go. One needs to place all tha energy in your new life as a gay person not hide or tell untruths or worse marry to hid it.

[@supremes1964]

you're awesome and handsome too

[@patrikswim]

Hey guys! Thanks for the support. Check out my update video at: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f4fUaWqwpdCiaNU Best wishes ~~Patrik

[@vishalgill8491]

Patrik can I be your friend

[@pablobeltran5857]

You are a brave person! Great video

[@LenHealsU]

Being Gay is NOT a choice. Being Bisexual IS a choice, i.e., being attracted to both sexes is a CHOICE. You choose either boy or girl. But being Gay, you're only attracted to the same sex (not a choice). Straight people are only attracted to the opposite sex. If a Straight person argues that it's a choice, all you need to say is the following: "You, who are straight, chose to be with the opposite sex. That means you were attracted to BOTH sexes and CHOSE the opposite sex, right?" You'll then hear a pin drop on the carpet, and he or she will be at a loss for words. Countless Gay, as well as Straight, are loving, caring, sharing, and productive human beings. Period and end of story.

[@LenHealsU]

I admire you Patrick (and others) who have the courage to come out like you did. I'm 73 and still have 1 foot in the closet, primarily because of "habit". When I was in my teens and 20s I was petrified as to what others (family and friends) would think, and in those days much less of the general (straight) public was accepting, although some were. I was an only child but I do have many cousins, and their offspring are like my nieces and nephews. To this day, to come out to them would be terrifying, although one of them may suspect I think. Only a small percentage of my straight friends know; most do not. I do a lot of hiking and mountain bilking to help get this off my mind. There's so much more I'd like to say, but I'll stop here. Thank you for listening. :)

[@polyliker8065]

I'm 21 right now, I only recently 'found out' that I'm gay. At first I thought I might be asexual because I didn't find girls attractive at all. I mean I went to clubs and there were girls clearly interested in me but I always avoided them after first contact because I didn't want that to continue. I did like some guys but I always brushed it away thinking i felt that I wanted to be more like them. I just wouldn't allow myself to look at guys that way because 'I couldn't possibly be gay', which is stupid in hindsight. In essence I was lying to myself and the whole world about a core piece of myself, constantly. I even faked I was into a girl and actually dated a girl to convince people I was straight and stop the rumor that I was gay. Which was bad and unnecessary since being gay is pretty much accepted where I live. What also didn't help was the out and super-over-the-top-stereotypical gay dude in school, with his bleached hair, almost drag-queen outfits and drama-queen behaviour. I thought that if that's what it means to be gay I fo sho aint gay. I did start pushing people away when they came too close and avoided a lot of people in general. I never thought about why I did that but now I think it's because every single interaction with people was terrifying because 'what if they found out I was lying to them?'. It makes you miserable. About a year ago I developed my first mega crush on a guy which made me realise what I was. It was a very heavy crush like I was feeling butterflies even whenI thought about the cute dimple when he smiles or the shape of his nose. Since then I just started to actually look around me and found that there were more guys that I actually found attractive but never even close to what I felt for my crush, it did help that he also seemed interested in me. I never actually came out to my friends from pre- and highschool especially not my best friend from highschool as he is super religious. I feel like it's harder to tell people you already know really well because you don't want anything to change while you actually know it probably won't the fear is still there and I still don't want to take the risk. When you tell new people it doesn't matter as much as they don't mean as much to you. The crush is my bf now which I kinda sorta hide from the inner circles while sometimes still hoping they somehow find out. He's getting a little fed up with me being a scaredy cat and not wanting to let my old and close friends know, but he is very understanding and supportive. Since I am nearly fully out of the super secured closet in my own head my life has greatly improved, interacting with people actually feels ok or even nice now. At least talking with people isn't terrifying anymore. I have made a few new friends that know and who I intend to keep, but I still need some practise though, I have been avoiding interaction with new people for a long time. What I've generally found is that if you don't make being gay a big deal a lot of people won't see it as a big deal. For example when I was out with my new friends for the first time I never told them I was gay untill they pointed to a girl and said she liked me. I mean that is an appropriate time to tell them as it's relevant for them understanding your actions in that moment. I still mostly hang out with guys since physical attraction alone isn't enough for me to shy away and I am deeply in love with someone. I do want a few more gay and female friends though. Ugh, look at me rambling on... Aaaaanyway, I wish you the best, hope you finished your study, find a loving partner and have a good career. Tschüss!

[@patrikhornak3952]

Thank you for the thoughtful comment! Growing into yourself as a gay guy takes time...just like it took time to realize that such a thing was even possible for yourself. Perfection does not like to be rushed, so take your time :)

[@nigelscales2319]

I loved reading your comment. Most guys will be able to relate to many parts of your post, if not all of it. Thank you so much for taking the time to express so much of your life, feelings and experiences.

[@polyliker8065]

@@nigelscales2319 Hi Nigel, thank you for your comment! It's been a while since I posted this comment and I completely forgot about it. Its funny how this worked as a bit of a diary and shows me how much I've grown these five years.

[@nigelscales2319]

@@polyliker8065 Thank you for your comment too! I think a lot has changed in the last 5, or 5 to 10 years and you can see this from the content of many of the coming out vlogs. Many of the early coming out stories were full of embarrassment of guys telling who they thought were friends but showed up to be the wrong people to entrust with such a life changing event. Over the years though, guys think more deeply about what they are doing and the personal effects it will have. We have seen the introduction of the 3 stages of coming out, with stage 1 being coming out to yourself first, followed by a friend, preferably a female friend, before tackling the biggie - the family! With this, I think guys are better prepared for coming out and have already thought carefully about potential conflicts that need to be addressed. Most notable I feel is the number of guys who are happy to come out on public forums such as KZbin which suggests that to many, they don't fear the public disapproval that was the fear of many guys 10 or more years ago. How do you feel you have grown in the last five years? I hope you still enjoy rambling on - that is a lovely quality!

[@polyliker8065]

@@nigelscales2319 Oh I still do love rambling, especially when I'm kinda tired. I agree that a lot has changed, the shame associated with being gay and the fear of losing guy friends over it is a lot less, at the same time I feel real acceptance by most people is here. For example, where I'd be against showing PDA's five years ago I have no problem cuddling up to my boyfriend on a park bench now. He's been very patient with me and I really love him for that. He's also kept me in shape by forcing me to the gym even after long work days and I do feel that helps us as a couple, it's a ritual and way to decompress. The 'lift heavy rock make sad head voice go away' meme is just a fact of life I guess. I can also share the happy news that we have adopted a dog (Bruno is the best) and are thinking about adopting a child. (Probably not named Bruno) I'm fully out since a about a year and a half after the initial comment but I do have to say that I have seen a perspective shift from men, I'm a lot more comfortable with letting guy friends know I'm gay as people now seem to understand that being gay doesn't mean I'd try to get into every guys' pants so there is not as much tension. This was also a problem I faced in the early days with women who taught that I'd be as much of a horn-dog as they are and would be super open to 'talking boys' and my sex life with them and tried to treat me like the 'gay best friend' trope you see in movies. And I mean I DO check guys out but I don't need you to point out every guy with a good ass, I don't need to talk penises or sex positions with you, and no I'm not giving you anal tips. Those conversations are reserved for only the closest friends. Anyway, people seem to get that now and I think that that perspective shift, where people treat being gay as not such a big deal where it doesn't (have to) define you or mean you're a perv, creates a very safe environment that allows people to explore and live as they feel they should. On top, I feel like the public disapproval is mostly gone, at least where I live. That probably helps a lot as well. As for personal growth, I'm just a lot more comfortable with labeling myself as gay, at least in social settings. (I work a new job with a lot of foreign people from cultures that are not as accepting and I find it difficult to gauge their response) I had a ton of internalized homophobia that I've since mostly dealt with, at the same time I can also identify it when I'm dealing with this fear of rejection again (the work thing for example) but that allows me to take a step back and evaluate if I think it is important and take the action I am comfortable with. So for now, or at least until we have a team brunch with partners, I won't mention it. In that situation it's better to show than tell imho. We've also moved to a more quiet and christian conservative part of our country (which is mostly older people) and the people have been surprisingly welcoming. It was very refreshing to see how instead of judging they were curious. It did remind me of my first experiences as people, and with people I mean grandma's, thought asking naughty and sometimes offensive questions was appropriate ('who's the girl in the relationship' and such) but we had a good laugh about it and were able to tease them back a bit. That did make me notice that I'm taking things a lot less like personal attacks or slights than just someone being uninformed and needing a gentle and fun answer. Whether that's because I dealt with my own internalized homophobia or the general attitude shift or both I don't know but it did feel very nice at the time. I asked my boyfriend what growth he has seen and he says he sees me glow a lot more often (Which I think is just adorable) and he feels like I've really become a partner for life. I've also discovered I have ADHD, which is a possible explanation for my proclivity and love for rambling on, which I'll stop now because I really need to get some sleep.

[@TheSmilecamera]

Great video!

[@patricks.7090]

How funny - My Name is almost identical to yours and i'm gay as well. Thumbs up !

[@danielwilda8167]

Very well done Doc best wishes for a successful career and a great interpersonal relationship with a man you love and loves you too!👍⭐️🌈🏳️‍🌈🇺🇸

[@antique378]

Great vid, wish you all the best.

[@TOOBMANN]

My Mother's maiden name was Swim....

[@creditrepairwizards]

Adam and Eve have a comming out story too it starts with THE FALL “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? You bit the apple and bought the lie

[@coachab100]

We’re you a swimmer?

[@MikeBiltz-k8j]

I identify so much with this video

[@tranquility9325]

Real friends could care less if you are gay or straight. They would love you all the same.

[@joebowman3933]

Thank you for making this Video, it really helped me get enough courage to come out as gay to my family.

[@redhood8141]

I'm glad he could help you. Hows life been the last 2 months?

[@joebowman3933]

@@redhood8141 It's been okay, it took my parents some time to fully accept me for who I am

[@redhood8141]

@@joebowman3933 Well I'm glad it finally happened. You deserve nothing but love bud 🐨 Anyone Special in your life now, or you just focusing on other things?

[@joebowman3933]

@@redhood8141 I'm on the search for a boyfriend

[@redhood8141]

@@joebowman3933 lol Your on the "Hunt" as they say. Where are you from?

[@johnszto2926]

Hello Patrick... I thought that presentation was very well done; at the same time, I am wondering... where you might be in residence now and where are you studying? I also want to ask you the question, regarding if you are attracted to a certain type of boy or guy? Have you ever been attracted to asian guys?

[@zajournals]

Everyone deserves a Megan 🙂

[@sethjohnson2743]

Great share :)

[@patrikswim]

Thanks!

[@redhood8141]

This was amazing. Anyway, Hope you are enjoying 2020 so far Seth

[@dubon9999]

I send all my love and support to all the LGBT people of the world ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all are important and very valuable even though we live in a world that makes you all believe otherwise. Remember always be proud of who you are 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 You all make from this world a better place ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 LGBT people are a rainbow of love in a world full of hate, but with difference of our straight partners, we all are united over a same flag 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 The flag of LGBT love ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 And we all must be united against hate, violence, discrimination and intolerance ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 We all are like a great family and we must fight to destroy hate ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Remember, LGBT people is love and love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I don't care about your race, nationality, biological gender, health condition, religion or any other condition ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 If you are an LGBT person you have all my love and my support ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You guys are not alone in this fight and all the LGBT people of all over the world needs to understand this messagge, cause just united we will win against hate and we don't have to allow that nothing divide us. Never feel bad of who you are and never allow that this cruel world change who you really are or turn off your light and your shine ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all born that way and remember LGBT people of all the world, at the end, love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@davidwilson5556]

Your one amazing young take care from davie in Scotland

[@dubon9999]

​@@davidwilson5556I love you all Gays ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Never allow that straight men and women divide us 💥💥💥💥💥 Gay men together forever ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 LGBT people together forever 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[@rayrothermel4861]

Wanted to share this with you: “In matters of sexuality we are at present, every one of us, ill or well, nothing but hypocrites.” ― Sigmund Freud

[@marksmith-jp5gy]

Be happy your good looking man. Tons of guys are bi curious or Gay. Like all of us

[@tmicheletti100]

So proud for you!

[@patrikswim]

Thank you!

[@Gusoutgoing]

Good day too you:-)

[@douglaswilkinson5700]

My roomate figured out I was Gay, told his girlfriend who went to every tenant on my floor telling them I was an infamous homosexual, etc. I was evicted two days later.

[@nigelscales2319]

I am shocked at the actions of your room-mate's girlfriend. How embarrassing for your room-mate too. I can't even imagine what it was like for you having to rebuild your life and regain the security of a roof over your head again. It must have taken years before you were able to trust another person again, particularly on an issue as sensitive as your sexuality. I just hope that you have found a really fabulous partner now and that you are both able to value each others company fully.

[@reuterromain1054]

I have no clue as to where you live. But that seems to be a weird experience.

[@andrewaway]

❤️

[@lesfadhom3624]

I feel you as a Muslim gay man but I can't come out cuz it's not gonna do me any good

[@affiliate56]

I am gay to I am afraid to come out tat’s a good video

[@Jesus_equals_LOVEnForgviness]

Good luck man and god bless.

[@patrikhornak3952]

Best wishes!

[@redhood8141]

You do it when it feels right. No Matt what, you will have a support group here 😀

[@redhood8141]

@@Jesus_equals_LOVEnForgviness I hope you are well 🙂 God bless you too

[@redhood8141]

@@patrikhornak3952 Best wishes back your way as well 😊

[@corrieengelbrecht5327]

Lyk jou baie. Love jou

[@Oculoustuos]

I love you.

[@ramryn592]

10:02 i understand why u say what u say BUT if u dont come out, it does NOT mean u dont love urself

[@needvitaminsea7825]

😭❤️🙌🏼

[@redshield2117]

you're adorable...

[@GodHelpMe369]

my life is hell; I desperately want to die

[@davidsearcy7818]

I'm David and I'm gay

[@mimimarcus]

Wowser!!! Marry me and *I'LL* show you what being gay is *_REALLY_* about. :P

[@jazzyflorida3757]

❤