Why is he calling when he doesn't want to get back together?

[@baze3SC]

A month ago, a girl came back to my life with exactly the same non-intentions, proclaiming regret and hinting at possible future. When confronted with clear questions, she backed off saying she's not "ready". You, Natalie, have a gift when it comes to describing relationship dynamics. Almost every word in this video is a match to my situation. Indeed, assuming that just because you care, the other person will magically become capable of empathy, is probably naive. Thanks and good luck!

[@Thatgirl1965]

The "Hope Trap" is right. My guy keeps flirting and coming on strong, especially when I start retreating from our "acquaintance". Never-ending games. Thankfully, I've finally reached my limit. No contact is the only way to give yourself enough time and space to get over these emotionally destitute soul-suckers.

[@capricris7672]

If he's not right there on your door step with a bunch of flowers and an apology and willing to talk and join the grown ups table and done with playing, don't answer the damn phone or texts.

[@prettypearls26]

Capricris ... I agree

[@linpry]

There is a thing called "the hope trap" and that is why he is calling you. It is the same model casinos use. They will spit out a couple of quarters now and then to get you to keep putting more money in their machines. GET OUT OF THE HOPE TRAP...you don't need his lousy quarters this machine has already showed you that it is not going to pay off. INVEST IN SOMEONE WHERE THE PAYOFF YOU WANT IS VIABLE

[@shebakali6]

nah, he doesn't want a commitment - he wants a fuck-buddy, a therapist, or ego stroke. he thinks that you will accept his managed-down set of expectations. that is why the no-contact rule is the only way to deal with emotionally unavailable men.

[@AbiolaSful]

i would strongly recommend "no contact" with someone who is not serious abt getting back into the relationship. it is a thing with most guys to keep stringing the ex woman along even though they have started a new relationship. We as women need to cut the crap and hang the damn phone up. If he is not serious abt getting back with you, you can well do without his selfish sympathy which is only an action to either keep you fm moving on or getting you back in his bed!

[@AbiolaSful]

Ladies - remember, most men love to enjoy the best of both worlds so they would keep their ex girlfriend / child-mother around as much as is possible, and still have a relationship with their new girlfriend. I HAVE SEEN IT SO MANY TIMES!

[@Ksispeedy]

Abiola S.

[@rosemariemerzlak7012]

guard your heart!

[@trinigrenoble]

Natalie you have hit the nail on the head with the Emotionally Unavailable Men! I especially like how you really explained their need of defining the Status Quo! It is so true! Keep doing what you're doing!

[@newmamaful]

AMEN! thank you, Natalie! Love this. it will always be true that we teach people how to treat us...

[@Ksispeedy]

wise woman

[@littleangel1060]

I wish I had this advice in high school!

[@prettypearls26]

littleangel1060 ... honest to God 😩

[@CatherineElliss]

Love this. So true and telling. Perhaps the guy is just so emotionally inept (deliberately choosing to not to deal with his emotions) that he lives in a constant state of denial so he is 'lost'... in that case I believe the only answer is prayer that one day he opens his heart to love. Best advice is to move on regardless. Thanks Natalie. PS I couldn't download this video or the No Contact Rule.

[@paigew7921]

Thank you 😁 he "snuffed those feelings for me" and is "in love" with someone else. Still texting me out of the blue 4 months later 🤦🙄 havent even replied since December. He and the next sucker are still together and the last "you up?" text was last week.

[@all-up]

Thank you for this empowering, powerful message; It's a wake-up call for me during this break-up that im experiencing. I hadn't opened myself up to someone for over four years! And this has really rung a bell and has dispersed the clouds from what i felt & sensed but hadn't yet pieced together a clear picture of. . . It has been fear tactics to kick up dust and the first after break up contact was for a service (not mainly to get together) which had felt awful. .

[@CWoods143]

Why is he calling me asking about my new love interest when he has a gf?

[@wowso4]

Great advice I love all your videos Natalie and your website has taught me so much about relationships thank you once again

[@piricarmen]

Loving your video Natalie... You tell the absolute truth!!!

[@Konchewy]

hi, I saw your video to look at different perspectives.. my husband and I are having marital problems. his ex girlfriend was trying to get a hold of him through social media. he message her back after her second try. she let him know right away if he wanted to visit her area and told him she is going through a bitter divorce and was asking him to compare me to her and said she was not tough to catch. then he mentioned to her our marriage was nothing good. and he started to tell her how he felt that he thought something of her still and he blew it with her. she mentioned that he did not commit to her 20yrs ago and he continued to compliment her and told her he was thinking of her and has warm feelings for her back then.. but she kept probing about us and told my husband he is unhappy with me. but he told her that how he felt about me as if he is trying to work it out with me and he loves but sugarcoat it by making it seem wishy washy. but at the end of their conversation he tells her that he is not trying to get her back and that he thinks of her as a good friend. but on the flip side he makes her believe he is settling with me but trying to work it out. when I found the messages, he denies he likes her because he turned her down at the end and told me he only gave her compliments and boosted her ego to let her down easy because she always wanted a commitment from him. I am so broken hearted by his response to her and that he had to make me feel. could u please give your insight on this. I seem to not get over the comments and the compliments to her.

[@tushay67]

hey natalie i'm glad that your doing videos..i'm also a member on your forum. you should do more...you explain things so well....your really pretty too = )

[@Kushprincess66]

@PurpleGurl82 HOW did she learn all this????? through EXPERIENCE...Natalie has the experience of efffed up relationships...that's why she has this knowledge...The beauty of Natalies work is, she helps us to see what's going on and open our eyes to the bulls..t that these men and women put out..simple as

[@htotheblade]

Dead on. My ex even went so far as to email me a love song with my pet name 2 days before Valentine's Day. Then when I continued to ignore him (and his past 3 emails) he sent me a more aggressive guilt trip email ON Valentine's day. Gee, thanks for being such a sweet friend to me like you say you want to be. I'm moving on to day 17 if NO contact and couldn't be happier with my decision. N"EX"T!

[@northkorea]

my word, you certainly know your stuff, Natalie. I'm a guy and you've tapped into a certain type of the male psyche.

[@hunnybeibei]

just as what i needed to hear right now!!! thanks for this!

[@etaets21]

My ex called me Today I didn't recognize the number he lefted a text saying don't ignore me so I left a messaging saying New Phone who this

[@adelat084]

please I just discovered your channel :) PLEASE MAKE MORE VIDEOS :) I know you have a life outside of youtube but it will be AMAZING :)

[@jsmoov775]

Preach sista!! That was confirmation...

[@lionmoon1057]

I'm the true definition of fall back girl😥😥😥

[@p1nksh00tingstar]

You're awesome Natalie.

[@lisabelmont6771]

I live with my ex I know he's not good for me but every time I get to the point I am done he reels me right back in. Why can't I just say no and move on? I am usually a strong person and normally wouldn't put up with this shit. Hey is like an addictive drug and i seem to not be able to quit! Help a sister out.....

[@nelsonferreira-aulasdearte]

Codependency? Does your partner have an addiction? Try a meeting or two of Al-Anon.

[@latishiabedwards1423]

Good advice

[@gregorybanthia4024]

I agree with the others about Treitan Mellory’s Simple Paper…, although I have yet to see the promised results at least she’s beginning to text me again :)

[@paulhorn27]

You're amazing. Thank you so much. :)

[@gunayrasulova9710]

thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!

[@2icelollys1goat]

Thank you

[@tonybammer5047]

Coming from a mans point of view I think you women think to much about the reasons thing happen in relationships...the bottom line is most men like NEW things, I don't care what it is...men like the chase but once we get what we want and now we have to focus on just the relationship part it becomes boring, and we miss the chase for something NEW, if a man is not at the point in his life where he is really ready to settle down, he's going to get tired and bored of the same girl, I don't care how good she looks, thats why women like Halle Berry can't even keep a man, the grass is always greener on the other side (so we think)...women mess up when they give in to the mans chase (sex) if a man really loved/liked you and was ready to settle down then he would wait it out, and if he doesn't wait it out then all that means is he was going to cheat on you one day down the road anyways, but at least you saved yourself the heartache and time...the bottom line is most of you women are to easy men don't respect that and it will show later...who would give up something they worked EXTREMELY hard for? would you? NO, when I work very hard to get something I'm going to cherish that and keep it around as long as possible...some women say "oh I made him wait 2 whole months" wow really thats nothing, but the girls nowadays are just as horny and willing as the guys but they don't see they're now playing in a mans world, men can last a lot longer out here by just having sex with different partners than women can men are built for this, so don't be all hurt when he leaves you for something NEW...women have power in their "cards" if you don't play them right you will get burned for a NEW set of "cards"

[@sophinal]

in other words games and lack of morals

[@Gallierification]

vegasdime brown word!! 🙌🏻

[@lifeinthetreehouse]

Disgusting

[@bleu1306]

I like ur analysis sir!

[@Punkdesignercat]

That was interesting to read. Well two guys both have said similar things to me (previous relationship experiences) first guy I dated and lost in touch with but saw each other again after 4 years said 'Its been killing me waiting for you I hate waiting' and then my second relationship started from a guy I met 2 years ago and became friends with contacted me this year interested in me as more than a friend and then we did actually date for about 7 months this year and he said to me 'I'm glad I waited for you' and all I could think of was the timing must have been finally right for us to be together but then this month I now realize that it must not be the rightr time for us to work out again because when I first met him he was touring and his life was all about traveling and doing music then now he has had a little girl which I still don't understand why he thought it was a good idea to actually date me for 7 months if his life had become even more hectic and busier than before like it just seems to me like even if we tried again later down the road that then it would be yet another thing like he is in a lot different place than I am in life and even though it was the best experience so far in my life its like it seems like its never the right time...he's 8 years older than me...but no matter the age or life you have its not ok to think that its perfectly ok to date someone if you just don't have the time for a relationship to progress and grow as a couple...

[@Beautifullysaid]

Yea no consideration not for me all for that good experience

[@etaets21]

and laughed my a** off

[@georgebyron468]

This work for both sexes.

[@jtking2504]

1 narcissist watched this video :)

[@danam358]

I think you analyse too much