Why It's OK That I've Been Single For 26 Years: Mandon Lee | Ask ZULA | EP 3

[@ZULAsg]

Hope you guys enjoyed the video! If you share the same views as Mandon, or have a completely different view on the topic, do share with us in the comments! This is his personal opinion so do keep that in mind, you are free to share yours in a constructive way. Peace out ~ (:

[@Iendleasereit]

... this guy is hella deep 🤙🤙🤙

[@whoismeru]

Come to Northern Thailand, Mandon. I lol-ed at that statement. Haha I’m Singaporean and live here too. Lots of dogs and cats, you’ll be happy 😊

[@FireSnowesh]

Makes me so happy that Mandon's more focused on working on himself than finding a relationship, cause most people our age care more about being in a relationship just so they won't be lonely. I treat relationships as seriously as he does, but unfortunately made a wrong choice with my last ex and didn't realise he was using me to fulfill his needs until much later. As predicted, got really hurt. So I'm glad there's still some hope in the world 😂 Also I have a friend who kinda fits his aesthetics but will not be intro-ing HAHAHA

[@hugonlyme]

Can yall make this series into a podcast

[@eileenc.1878]

I see him. It’s like a mirrored to myself last time when I was single. Sense of perfection towards ownself. Fearful of the heartbreaks and unnecessary hurts with each other. Most importantly it’s compromising in relationships that needs to sustain.

[@morgaga]

Mandon possesses a rare combination of self-control, self-awareness, and a big picture, almost philosophical approach that allows him to relief himself of labels and societal templates. To most it would seem that there's something wrong with him, but he really is unafraid to be off-grid. Congrats on this responsible, independent and unique individual.

[@vontayyuman4478]

brother one whole paragraph about mandon power power

[@mekim1619]

nope. its revealing his lack of self control and is unaware of how relationships are. he is suffering from fear, hence his escapism thinking. i wish him well

[@user-kd2ez2mb3c]

@@mekim1619 some people have different approaches and styles to life. Perhaps you are more progressive in your approach, while he may be more of an organized one by making plans before taking actions. I can agree with you that his perfectionism an obsession with order may have synthetically produce an image of fearfulness. But his honestly not the worst chap, he’s not bad really.

[@irockmore1000]

Props to Leah for distilling Mandon's tick list. Leah is such a good host

[@bellel8853]

i feel like leah used to/or has a crush on mandon, she analysed him like so well as if she pulled out info from a file

[@thebabykangaroo]

This video is sooo great and I appreciate it so much! As someone who is in also their 20s and has never dated before, it is hard to feel secure when society puts so much emphasis on romantic relationships. So it is really very interesting and refreshing to hear this perspective and I think it’s important to normalize young people not dating. I also agree with a lot of the things Mandon said, especially the part about how being single and being in a relationship are both a gift. While being in a relationship is cool and all, working on yourself is important too. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you are beautiful and lovable and complete on your own. Thanks Zula for this series! I really appreciate hearing so many diverse relationship stories and I’m looking forward to more! :)

[@nuraisyatulaiman8242]

I never dated before but now I'm 22 but I try to find one.. I see no one are serious.. just knowing the date just a couple weeks or days then he done or I'm done.. have a lot of crush that have been rejected me but this mandon guy saying is related so much

[@freshbreadloaves]

@@nuraisyatulaiman8242 it is always good to wait and enjoy singlehood in the meantime :) in fact what Mandom shares has a lot of good wisdom in it, just making friends and getting to know ppl as a person first, and seeing how they are especially with a group of friends, treat their family, little things u can tell their character and if they would be a suitable lifelong partner

[@elizabethdiannestravinsky6946]

agreed... same too sighs

[@AbigailLeeCool]

Finally I found someone who thinks alike like me. Every time I get asked this question:”why are you still single?” “That guy’s single and you’re single, go try la” and at some point I asked if I was asexual or a lesbian because I wasn’t attached to anyone (I’m 27 this year). For me, I don’t really have a need to be attached when I’m happy and satisfied in my current self. I get really pressured to ‘get into a relationship’ when I’m really neutral about getting invested in people. My friends keep telling me to be more ‘girly’ to hook a guy. Another part is my relatives who keep telling me i’m getting older and I can’t get married or I should go for match making. I’m just that kind of person is, if I found him, thats him lo. I wont waste my time jumping from relationships to relationship and getting my heart broken

[@KONFUS3D]

10 years younger but i feel the exact same way

[@xuanxuan4120]

Long lost sister

[@x_tingting]

200% relatable!!!!!

[@mondaymorningsun]

Relatable!!

[@nuraisyatulaiman8242]

Yaa same

[@oreoorva]

so relatable. Im 25 and haven't been in a committed relationship. I tried dating awhile and just didn't have the energy to have to deal with another person's issues while dealing with mine. The whole process of dating is so tiring to me. :( The fact that I'm a female and don't want to have kids or get married...I also think it's quite off putting for someone who wants to be in a committed relationship. People usually have this idea that women who dont want to marry or have kids will eventually change their minds and it irks me.

[@thebabykangaroo]

Yeah I get what you mean for the last bit about not wanting to get married and have kids. Maybe one day I really will change my mind cause the future is so uncertain. But also why is it so hard for people to accept that it might be something that I really want after thinking it through in depth?

[@geminifourthmommy]

Totally agree

[@Soulrrr]

i feel the same way! i don't want kids, and i haven't met anyone i actually like that much to want to be in a committed relationship with them. i also experience those "you will change your mind" and "it's different when you have your own kids" comments, most of the time, from fellow and older women.

[@kathrynwaldorf2189]

Preach! So tired of ppl looking at me as though I'm a monster whenever I tell them I don't wanna have kids. Dating has also become a tiring activity. Gotta think for 2 ppl n gotta care for the other person constantly. I ain't got that time n energy for that shit!

[@samcherws]

Makes me happy to see so many like-minded women :)))) Every time my family mentions marriage, I always tell them straight up that I don't intend to marry and of course their response is always, "don't say that!!". Sigh...

[@callietoh1226]

Leah is such a fantastic host, can tell sometimes she doesn't really agree with what the guest is saying or wants to probe more but she chooses to be a good listener and ask good questions that won't make it difficult for the guest to answer.

[@bellel8853]

i really like mandon’s mannerisms, he always looks at someone in the eyes directly when talking

[@lucyapretty]

I wanted to comment on this toooo, his body language is so nice and friendly

[@notthedong5288]

Some people like myself are always awkward to have eye contact for too long. Even when i try to do it, I consciously realize that i'm trying so hard to have eye contact (sort of like when you know you're day dreaming but too lazy to zone back in XD )

[@bellel8853]

@@notthedong5288 i know!!! i become so conscious when i keep my eye contact for too long, it becomes so unnatural

[@leoagaw]

that is rude in asian society. You must not look at people in their eyes directly. As an Asian, he is quite rude to be looking at her like that... it is like.. u got a problem with me meh?

[@bellel8853]

@@leoagaw lol! i didn’t know that, i always thought it was respectful to make eye contact while talking to someone.

[@rachellin2253]

I personally think that we as humans will never feel deserving or ready enough to be in a relationship. You will always find reasons to not be in it and it’s normal lah. But I think an important thing to note is that a relationship should not stop you from growing and improving as a person. You can still grow and improve and work on yourself while being in love with someone, and that’s the best kind because it’s like you’re all in this together purely because you love each other and are committed to each other. It is not a burden but a privilege to help each other grow and develop into someone better

[@bunny2521]

Cant believe that mandon is evergreen honestly HAHAH

[@ariel3725]

I get his "I don't want to drag people into my issues" thing, that's something you need to solve yourself, you have to look within yourself first. As Mama Ru says "if you don't love yourself, how are you going to love somebody else?" Also, to the public, if you know people who are still single or haven't been into a relationship, don't judge them for choosing that path. Our society pushes this agenda of "you need to be in a relationship or you need to get married at this age, or have kids immediately", and never understand that this is a personal choice and they may have a reason for it and that's none of our business. It's kind of like those people who try to force people to come out and confess their sexuality. In your own time, Mandon. edit: wording

[@uniquekron9404]

Well I'm 32 and I'm happy being single....i truly understand what or how mandon feels or saying😇

[@FireSnowesh]

Love the Mama Ru quote, loved it so much when I heard it the first time I watched drag race 😂 Also yes, so damn tired of people assuming just cause someone's single that they're automatically looking. That it's so common for people to ask "why aren't you in a relationship?" Why do I have to be in a relationship??

[@sytoh6832]

aiuji

[@HLhatesmilk]

I second that!

[@JudeYoungMusic]

It's uncanny how much Mandon's thoughts on the matter resonate personally here! Even down to the morbid die-at-30 humour 😂 It was very assuring to see that there are people as acutely aware as Mandon who are also harnessing that level of awareness healthily (at least that's what it looks like from this interview)! Enjoyed the chemistry in this video; hope you're both well!

[@elizabethdiannestravinsky6946]

i also wanna just die at 30 lol

[@sohsaraaa]

Is mandon ok? Why does he keep saying he’s gonna die at 30? This video isn’t his first time saying it already 😩

[@summerswift13]

Hands down this is my fave video on Zula because I can resonate so much with this topic and it's not something that people always talk about-- yes, being in a relationship and having a partner in life is wonderful/a blessing, but so is being happily single. I'm 24 and I share similar views and dating experience with Mandon. Everytime I get asked "why are you single/when are you gonna finally have your first boyfriend, I would say "maybe when I'm in my 30s" (and they'd be shocked).. because honestly I myself do not know when I'll be ready plus feel that only in 10 years time I'll be fulfilled with who I am in terms of growth and readiness to commit to this 1 person for the rest of my life. All this while I thought I was the only one but I'm so glad to know that there are so many of you on the same boat. My mum used to emphasize on this quote 'Tis is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' and I never believed or agreed to it. Thank you Zula and Mandon :) xx

[@ywta9227]

Very relatable interview... In my case, evergreen 26yo girl who's now trying to date for the 1st time in my LIFE, I feel like I'll never be "ready" for a relationship, so I guess I have to just "try" for a start... hopefully that works out well eventually, but who knows. Anyway totally agree with Mandon about how as we're "waiting for the one", we should constantly also work to be "the one" for that person :) It's really a great advice.

[@KONFUS3D]

omg i hope it goes well for you!!

[@dguhoshi786]

I hope it goes well for youuu!

[@hauteclere2369]

Scares me how similar my views are to Mandon. Personally, I grew up witnessing the mess that was my parents' marriage (they couldn't get along with each other even if their life depended on it, they only stay together because of their kids) so I never really knew what a healthy romantic relationship would be like. Then as I grew older, I saw that many of my relatives and even friends' parents were also in a similar situation where marriage brought them more pain than happiness. At that point I just thought, "Aiya, why go through all the hassle anyway?" I'd rather be married to my work where I get tangible benefits, be devoted to my future cats and of course take care of my family.

[@alsg0403]

Mandon's view of a relationship was one I held for the first 22 years of my life when I was single. Despite that I still continued dating around, not quite finding the right person I saw myself committing to long-term, etc. Along the way, I realized this view of "needing to be better before I get into a relationship" stems from a perfectionist mindset. A mindset that believes you're unlovable unless... this this this. It's conditional love. I even carried this haughty attitude sometimes of "not needing anyone", which I know is not true. I really wanted companionship but couldn't find what I was looking for at that time. My dating experience has humbled me in that sense and made me take a hard look at this belief I carried with me for a long time. So yeah, I highly suggest to continue meeting people with an open mind because I had pretty much given up dating when I met my now lovely partner 🥰🥰. I thought I'd share this because I thought it might be insightful to someone.

[@enjoyinglifeish]

Can't believe there's someone so similar to how I think as well. Great content! Don't let negative comments affect you guys.

[@samcherws]

wahhh i've never felt so seen in my life, it's as though mandon's telling my life story HAHA. the part about him discovering more flaws as he grows older struck a nerve :/ also the part about getting into relationships to satiate your own needs like companionship, so relatable!!! cos as much as i crave for someone i can share my interests with or rant to, i'm also fully aware that i'm not willing to put in the effort required for a relationship to be sustainable.

[@xia0b0iix]

Oh Mandon. As another guy who is couple of years older than him with similar childhood background and having a similar mindset of "I dont want to make my problems her problems", I will say he should not to be afraid to take a leap of faith. Not saying he should get into all sorts of relationship only to get hurt in the end but to reach out. Have to open up to seek and explore rather than hoping the perfect one will be serve up to you. You just dont know how long it will take but at least if you try and put in the effort. Who knows you might, in the process, managed to learn something about yourself that you probably never know until you tried. You are not doing this for other people but for yourself. It can be uncomfortable and awkward at the beginning but eventually you will overcome and grow from these.

[@SKSk-be9kj]

leah is such a good friend, feels like you can talk to her about anything, everything.

[@noahkoh07]

Dude this mans maturity is in another dimension 😦

[@mekim1619]

nope. its not even mature. he has fear issues to handle within, hence his lack of self control as a male. maturity is not how he addresses it.

[@amandaoch]

It's great that Mandon is so clear about the aspects of self he still has to work on and his decision to stay single. Too many people are in relationships without figuring such things for themselves... Really admirable. :)

[@mekim1619]

he is adopting an unhealthy way of thinking and is unclear of what relationships are. in fact, he is reversing the way relationships can be. while we respect his decision, they are by no means a result of clarity at all. Let's hope he can see relationships better than to live with fear.

[@eyhtwozed2606]

@@mekim1619 you are so salty

[@libraries144]

I rly cant believe mandon's view in life is so similar to mine, i also value being single alot, and i am very very happy single. I love anime and obsessed over animols too 🤤 especially hamsters

[@Lovehyunaandjunhyung]

WAIT??? OMG Mandon has never dated anyone before? I mean he is a full package of husband material, he is handsome, he can cook, he is gentleman

[@violetland6314]

Ikr I was shocked just by looking at the video title

[@poseid0n_]

Totally agree with that "as much as you do not want to hurt the other person" mentality, is also as much as you do not want to get hurt unnecessarily!

[@lim971]

Seems like Mandon calculates every risk and every possible 'incompatibilities'. Maybe that's why he's looking for a more daring partner who is opposite of him? Nothing wrong with thinking in the long run, it's actually good to look out for major incompatibilities like misaligned life goals/expectations etc but to scrutinise every small thing, and worry so much about what's going to happen, imo is quite futile. I was single for 23 years and being attached for a year + now, I realised the endless worries I had in the past are not all relevant. We just need to give each other enough room to be ourselves and love each other for it. It's liberating for both parties. We grow tgt and grow individually. It's not all rainbows and happiness, there are definitely hard times, where both of us get hurt. But honestly that feeling where u know that u wouldn't want to do this with anybody else, is amazing. (Disclaimer: being single is great too! The 23 years of my single life was stupendous. I did everything I wanted and am sooo glad I didn't get tgt with anyone I wasnt 100% sure) Go wherever u feel the happiest, it's always the best indicator ☺️

[@WilSketches]

I think the part where you mentioned about him calculating every risk and every possible 'incompatibilities' is very true and a great observation. I find myself to be very similar to him in terms of his thought-process and goals, but i am not evergreen (had 2 fulfilling relationships in the past). Your observations serve as a good reminder and sound advice :) Thanks for writing!

[@Dancegeography]

I think Mandon is really mature to think it this way and it’s so rare to see it. I relate to this video as I’ve been single for 25 years because I just don’t see a point of being in a relationship especially when you don’t see a future together. I’ve seen many of my friends are just being attached just for the sake of it and just “trying” out when there’s an opportunity just because they are just afraid of being lonely. At the end of the day, I think working on yourself is so important so that when you meet the one you’ll be adequately ready and available.

[@jetto7642]

buddy is looking for perfection

[@tarepandaval483]

omg finally someone that has the same perspective

[@nuraisyatulaiman8242]

I like the words he said about "just go to meet people as a friend, get to know them and through knowing them as a friend, with no commitment it will help you to make better judgement calls. So when you meet people whether you call it a date or not like with a school friends but both of you are still single is a very good time and it a very good opportunity for you to just get to know someone as a person not as a potential partners." It's really relatable so much

[@Grizzlebearify]

Definitely the most relatable episode of ZULA so far for me. I'm 23 and is evergreen. It's just so hard to find someone and I always thought that "is there something wrong with me?" for not getting into a relationship. I did try going on dates but oh well. Like as Mandon said the right one will come around.

[@iskandarrosli5973]

This video came out at such a perfect timing. I was in a place where I thought I didn't deserve any love at all and I've been questioning my own worth so much after a lot of failed attempts at making connections. But hearing Mandon's perception on love and life's given me a lot of perspective and given me a clearer picture on how much life has to offer me and being on my own is not such a bad thing! This type of videos are so good!!!! please keep making more

[@bubbletea5097]

listened to this from start from finish, have gained respect for mandon so much more

[@oldbutbold]

Sigh. It really is tough being single anywhere. People constantly judge and demand you explain your singlehood. It's as though we singletons are criminals! It's the same shit with childless couples, divorcees and so on...the spotlight is cast unfairly and too negatively on us! Why can't people be less judgemental or better yet mind their own business? Too free is it?

[@lyad]

If it really doesn't affect you that you're single, then you wouldn't get upset by that simple question. Maybe ask yourself why you get so 'triggered' when people ask you why you're single

[@magically_]

hey Mandon, your life your choice. nothing is inherently doomed. take it easy and all the best :)

[@CrystallyyPink]

love this video! i learnt a lot and gained a fresh perspective on relationships. relationships aside, i think its so beautiful how we all humans are so different and this video made me appreciate and embrace differences even more. I come to understand that everyone has a reason behind what they choose to do and im in no position to judge. empathy is so important in today’s society. i think leah did an amazing job hosting. the way she understood mandon and verbalised how he felt was applaudable. I loved the questions asked too, it brought more depth to mandon’s response and allowed me to understand the full rationale behind his choices.

[@cloudyboy45]

I understand where Mandon is coming from, but I feel like i’ve learnt the most from my break up. I thought I prepared myself after so many years being single, but my first relationship pointed out all my flaws that I would never have realised. I do regret casuing hurt to the other party and I’m not sure if i’ll be “prepared" enough to date again. But it was a really good experience and I do miss it sometimes.

[@w4r3arth]

Mandon, I know you don’t want to hurt people. But sometimes dating is a process that allows you to understand more about what you really want. Honestly some things need to be experienced first hand, especially for someone who has so many considerations. You fear that if you commit to someone, 30 years down the line either one of you realise that the things you want have diverged. But not giving anyone else a chance before going into a life long commitment may not fully prepare you to compromise in a way that a long term relationships requires. At that point, who can quantify the hurt that you are trying to avoid? Is it less painful to go through the dating process and move on when you’re younger with your life and options ahead of you or when you’re facing a mid life crisis and not sure how to proceed? Thank you for sharing your perspective though, it was brave of you to do so! Really enjoyed listening to this conversation between friends. I don’t believe in soul mates, but I certainly hope you find someone who can be that for you. Good luck 😊

[@QzSG]

Nobody: Me: *nodding to every word Mandon says.*

[@FieryWarAxe7]

leah is such a great host from zula chickchats to ask zula

[@naeajiteu]

When people ask me "you got boyfriend or not" or say "time to find boyfriend lei" , I get kinda annoyed because I myself know I aint ready for a relationship yet. My views are totally the same with Mandon

[@missymeowmeow6157]

Your perspective are so valid, mandon.

[@mekim1619]

yet so wrong. he can do better to have a mature thinking about life

[@mkmk-po3yh]

So agree with what he said. People be in relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship and because they can say oh I have a boyfriend /girlfriend. It's not because they in love, but they just want the companionship /affirmation like he said. It shouldn't be like that.

[@pjtparty]

he is so matured and cool with maintaining his stand on relationship and looking into long-term plans. not easy to meet guys who think like this

[@mekim1619]

its exactly what causes relationships to fail. his immaturity actually causes more harm because of his lack of understanding about relationships. i wish you the best too

[@blackspadex22]

Theres always pros and cons to being single or attached. Unfortunately for singaporeans, it's socially and financially better to get married and settle down. However being in the 20s is still young, nothing wrong with choosing to be single. Your happiness is the most important thing to you and no one else can decide that.

[@libraries144]

why am i like mandon but girl version..

[@veronicapereira4103]

“He’s waiting for the one to drop from the sky” HAHAHAHAHAHA AREN’T WE ALL!??

[@CapDingo1975]

Leah, you're a very good host. He started off quieter but then you know what questions to ask to pull out the answers. Nice work!

[@sizzlechisel]

Actually when Leah was describing Mandon’s ideal lady it kinda reminds me of Leah herself HAHA

[@soobiskates]

can we have a series of mandon just going on dates please!! also im a bruh girl and im damn onz so where do i sign up to be mandon's friend? pls send me the application HAHAHA on a more serious note, i really do admire mandon's maturity and i understand his whole "i want to fix my flaws first" mentality. i would say for this reason, his future partner would be very very blessed to have such a considerate person who's focused on bettering himself and not dragging others into his issues. that being said, i feel there's a thin line between dragging people into our issues and allowing them in to help us. mandon being content on his own without a relationship really highlights the whole "love yourself first" mentality that many of us try to adopt. here we can see that he is so comfortable, happy, and unpressured about being on his own, having friends to hang out with, and of course tsuki. i think many of us aspire to be this content and self-sufficient, as it's not easy these days to feel like we're enough for ourselves. thank you mandon for sharing your perspective, you seem really wise and mature! also thank you leah for making him describe his ideal partner. i hope you find your unicorn girl soon mandon :)

[@liaakho]

as much as you don't want to hurt the person, is it 'cause you don't want to be hurt?' 😩 OMG MANDON

[@rachelkohwoonsim7445]

i can relate to Mandon's perfectionistic thinking tbh 😔🤙

[@mekim1619]

which shows how out of touch he is. i hope he has a better grip of life.

[@cherie88cc92]

lol I’ve been solo for 22 years and I clicked on this video just without thinking too much and it’s scary how many view points align, I’m starting to not feel so alone about being solo for this long and although I’m always “preaching” these words to the people around me it feels nice to hear it from another person too 😂 if he ever did mbti, I feel like there is a high chance he is a INFJ. Anyway good luck Mandon! With every decision you make it’s the best one for yourself 😊🤟

[@RonLarhz]

Finally someone who isnt toxic or sound basic.

[@mekim1619]

nope, his thinking is actually very toxic and to be discouraged. i wish you healthier lifestyles on relationships

[@lazytofat]

But isn’t being a relationship mean to compromise? It’s not about their goals matching yours, you can have different goals. But it’s more of working towards each of your goals together

[@x_tingting]

I relate to Mandon’s stance, so to answer your question it’s either 1) We just haven’t met the person we are actually willing to compromise for or 2) We don’t desire for a relationship so we don’t see why we should compromise for something we don’t desire that much.

[@treelo11]

@@x_tingting This. Some people just have high standards.

[@x_tingting]

Treelo It is a life partner we are talking about, someone whom we will be incorporating into our lives so I suppose some standards is necessary. In any case, I don’t think those who find Mandon’s story relatable are whining about not being able to get hitched with friends lamenting that “your standards are just too high.” We are happy with the choice we make, and we don’t expect people to “live up to our standards” nor do we discriminate against those who make a different choice from us (attached/married) as each has its merits ☺️

[@treelo11]

​@@x_tingting Just to clarify, I have the same stance as you and Mandon. The high standards I'm referring to is not the choice of partner but the way of life. Some of us just want to wait patiently until the time is right and strike once. Others are fine with trying again and again. It's just different strategies. There's no guarantee that our path will reap better rewards or that the right person will one day come along (because if you have so little experience then how do you establish standards to judge who is the right one). And still we prefer to be patient because of some principal we set for ourselves. Essentially we are choosing to play life on hard mode.

[@abiwav]

Can relate so much to his sentiment, focus on being the right one before married to the right one

[@geneinthelamp]

Props to Mandon for being honest and convicted in his principles. It's great to see people who recognise that being able to 'handle oneself' is first and foremost a basic thing to accomplish, before thinking about being someone else's significant other. I agree that the struggle is real in Singapore and there's so much peer pressure to get into a relationship, so truly, kudos to people who keep it real and can remain firm in their choice to stay single (for whatever reason). That said, I think Mandon just needs a little reminder that nobody's perfect! Hahahah, I used to have a criteria list as well and while it IS important, remember that just as you have flaws, so do others - it's just whether those flaws will fundamentally harm a potential relationship. But generally speaking, I really appreciate Mandon's maturity and self-awareness! Hope that more people can grow to learn more about themselves in this manner too :)

[@brynafoo4405]

I have never related better to a video about relationships. Im glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks this way about them and appreciate that this video was put up in the first place.

[@mekim1619]

Please seek a healthier way of having relationship than his own perspective, Bryna! You deserve life better than to think this way.

[@saumunc4738]

Evergreens, unite! LOL! I always thought I’m alone in this uwu... I hope society would stop judging people without a love partner. It doesn’t make us less of a human. I have never resonated with another person this much on this subject. Mad respect for Mandon for being this bold about this. I’m 31. Been solo my whole life. Imagine the countless questions I get for bf and marriage. I usually avoid those by telling them I’m actually planning to become a nun lol...cuz the questions annoy tf outta me. but really though, I’m doing okay emotionally, even without ever having a love interest. I wouldn’t speak the same for others, I think I’m just wired differently. I’m currently not at my happiest state, and can’t imagine pursuing a serious relationship with anyone. At this point of my life, I place more priority in seeking my own life’s purpose and grinding hard for money instead of love. I’m not against the idea of being in a relationship, I just don’t imagine having a partner would give me an idea of a fulfilled life. And about the housing for singles, I have to agree. It’s the same here in Malaysia. Main reason why I’m still stuck living with my parents. :(

[@emptyangel]

This video was 100/100, I really enjoyed how the conversation just flowed (with minimal jump cuts!).

[@eunicekay7519]

omg i finally found someone similar to me. I never commit fully to a r/s because im not happy with myself and everyone around me is putting pressure on me to date and i had so many opportunities to be in a long-term r/s i just back out immediately when the guy is interested. Thank you zula as least i know its not a me problem.

[@MissstefanoMcCartney]

I can’t lie, I could relate to Mandon so so well Altho I’ve just watched the first part and I can totally relate with how he views life for the most part of it. Bc I’m 23 and have been in the dating game but haven’t been in a serious relationship that I can relate to him so well. For me the fear of being hurt plays a huge part too and ngl I got surprised when family wasn’t part of his reason to not wanna be in a relationship bc ngl he gives me such a family guy vibes from just watching vids w him in it which makes my heart fuzzy.😍🥰 also kudos to Zulu for acc pushing uncomfortable and convos that ppl rly don’t talk about much but I could say as a studying journalist I’d say I sense a bit of personal bias for a host but it also just might be me. But I just wanna say I rly fucking love this

[@ashley_how]

LOL everything he mentioned is so relatable.

[@horchatatee5407]

BROOO, I have never related to somebody so much. I don't ser everything exactly like Mandon but very similar. Especially the part about not acting on crushes in middle school,etc. Because he didn't see the point in getting into a relationship at that age. MEE, to the T. And I never felt understood in that before. Love you Mandon. I appreciate and see you.

[@tomato3974]

finally!! someone put it all into words!! used to think mandon looks like the friendly dude with many girl-friends but his exposed matured side made him way more attractive haha

[@23456JY]

He is such a wise guy. Such a GEM! Super mature mentally

[@shubling]

LOL mandon is so kind hearted! Leah did a great job with the interview!!

[@angielee1609]

okay to be single, its a choice. there are so many things to do in life ~ need more time!

[@TheTracieMS]

In my 20s and evergreen. I finally can relate to a video so much! Thanks Zula for this video.

[@baabaa574]

I think that most times, people forget that the ability to being comfortable alone is a huge strength to have. I believe you have to be strong yourself first. You build yourself (and you take care of the unfinished business) so you can enter the relationship from an emotional independent place. I appreciate Mandon pointing out the responsibility of the things each partner bring into the relationship and being considerate of his prospective partner (it is not just about your own needs of just wanting to be a relationship. The reckless or careless behavior and this instability may cause hurt. If u love the other person, you wouldn't want the other person to get hurt.)

[@daveldy9579]

Mandon is a man of culture and a story of my life. I totally share the same life and fate and i agree with every single point with Mandon.

[@steffitan2363]

Now everyone wants to know who is that ultimate winning lady that will make him committed in. Whoever she is, she isn't simple.

[@johncarlopanugalinog6694]

I can relate to this guy. I used to think this way as well. The idea of being into a relationship was terrifying, but you have to experience being in a relationship to really appreciate it. It can be tiring af but it can also become really fulfilling.

[@gabbyfoo2]

I understand Mandon's prerequisites. Unfortunately one of the most common cost of marriage breakdown is "Financial stress". It's a worldwide problem....Thus no harm in being cautious...Perth, W.A.

[@calmthefdown789]

I hope Mandon’s okay 🥺 really concerned how he is by how he joked about dying at 30 and in one of the ThinkTank 50 Qs answered he sees himself dead in 5 years

[@drnshim4802]

Thank u leah for inviting Mandon here. I hope u inviten in zula so often. I am big fan of Mandon Second, huy Third, Renae 😁😁😁

[@nanonini]

Leah is such a great friend!!

[@bogdanafilonich33]

Fearful avoidant.... just like me.....protecting yourself from being hurt ....realised that I was a problem and had to work on myself ...I hope he will discover it .

[@charltje]

Leah is suuuuch a good interviewer omg!!!

[@blueluvly1927]

I love her, she's so good as a host 👏👏 the qns are qns that I was curious 😂 Mandon's eyes really sparkled when talked about his cats ahahahhahaha adorable

[@xueying2210]

and that's why he's so loveable, we still need a MANDON in our lives. P.s. Dying inside because my comment got featured. But but he so speciallll

[@HLhatesmilk]

Honestly... would one ever feel "ready" or "I solved all my issues now" at any point of time? I think that for as long as you are alive, everyday is an opportunity to learn and improve yourself - the learning process doesn't have a finishing line (unless you are a bit of a narcissist where you think you are enough and others are not, but that's another story :P)

[@heperspires]

his train of thoughts is honestly pretty interesting which is not a bad thing as I can relate to a lot of the point of views both Mandon and Leah has mentioned throughout the video.

[@lovestolove93]

This was insightful. I really love the way Leah had this discussion. Truly.

[@p6h14]

Totally agree that it is unfair to ppl who are/choose to be single

[@Virgoreb]

Very true very true, agree with Mandon. It is really impt to work on and love oneself before you can love others.

[@minmin11211]

Mandon is like a male version of me 🤣 The single one with good (or “good”) relationship advice. The thought is so true tho, not wanting to hurt yourself, others or both. But I have a feeling it will break once the “right” one comes. This dude look like someone who might speed up towards marriage once he meets the right one. 😂

[@rhywia]

It is totally fine to not know what you are doing later in the day, or week, or month. Not everyone plans every aspect of their life LOL. That is just down to personality, can't hold it to a person.

[@sheilaye1209]

Mandon is really mature in his thinking 👍👍

[@DLVNO]

Mandon is so like me. I wonder if Mandon is INFJ. I'm also 26 yo, never in a serious relationship and always thinking, why should I put myself in a hard situation by being in a relationship (Mandon's poop comparison 😂). I always think so far ahead, thinking about continuous self-improvement etc. And just like Leah said, my friends also ask me, "why do you think so far ahead". I also thought about being in a relationship during secondary school as useless because I knew it won't go far since we're still young without financial stability etc. In term of partner preferences, I also like someone very clear and well planned in their life, like know whatever they want to do in their life that kind. I guess it's basically due to the core belief. And oh to add, I also have a cat and maybe at the moment, my cat fulfils that space/need for companionship and the notion that my cat understands me makes me happy. And I also go out with someone before and I also didn't usually call it as a date and when Mandon use "going out" it's so mindblowing I feel like this is literally me 😂 My final thought, I think for someone like Mandon, the best option is he might end up with someone similar to him (mature & practical/realistic) and living together as the equal counterpart, both know how to make each other happy. Maybe someone who also knows how to pamper him in return, not just one way that kind.

[@joeyyyiqi]

I share the same views as an INFJ too.

[@gjasminee4291]

I can confirm this is probably an INFJ thing😂

[@KeepingUpWithFizahK]

Haha im halfway through and I too am asking if he's an INFJ. I'm leaning towards single but if it happens, it happens. I'll see where it takes me (after much calculation of course)

[@ecrp123]

💯/💯 my standpoint of getting into relationship. Every sentence hitting the bulls’ eye

[@hicarl297]

mandon basically sums up my whole life

[@hafiz6b]

Feel the same way as he did, as i grow older i saw many flaw in me that make me afraid of getting into a relationship. My heart's was torn apart with the need for love and feeling afraid of opening my heart just to get hurt.

[@spongebob7494]

I honestly get where Mandon is coming from in sense of actually taking the stepping stone to make himself better and to work on the flaws for his betterment and also his future partner, which I believe, is a very wise and mature path/move.I always remind myself ”If you can't love yourself, how can you expect to love another, which only causes more hurt and toxic-ness..etc. Brother doesn't wanna tell the 2nd one dating an older woman ”Milf” but Sugar Mama boleh! 😂💯 And I know(maybe) deep down Mandon has had a very bad experience/past but he's being polite about it and keeping it cool. Every journey he's been, there were lessons learned and I love that he is taking his time and in the process of applying it. I'm happy for you Mandon, be positive and have a smile always. I vibe with him. I sense he is a Capricorn ♑ or maybe it's just me 😂 Love this episode.

[@jeffer8762]

totally can relate Mandon, he looking for end game

[@annierei7017]

23:27 - 23:34 same sentiment. As much as I’m looking for my own unicorn myself... I hope I’ll be the unicorn that my person is looking for too!

[@janemuses3031]

Honestly, for a guy there's no biological clock so what's the need to rush into a serious relationship until you meet the person you really feel strongly enough about to do so? Also mid-20s to early 30's is prime time for developing careers and starting a family can disrupt it. Even for women there is the option of freezing one's eggs and having kids in their 40s is pretty normal now. We are all as a species living longer so why not extend your single life as well? And Mandon seems like a super practical guy so can totally understand his viewpoint. That being said, the aunties and uncles in Singapore can be truly intrusive when it comes to what they perceive in their minds as optimum age to be attached. When I was studying in the US, I dreaded the visit home with relatives because the inevitable question would be " are you still single?" "when going to get married, not getting younger" when all I was concerned about was getting a job when I graduated.

[@horchatatee5407]

I'm afraid to committing to the wrong person!! YESS, that's exactly it

[@islandbeauti9885]

He is like a mirror of my personality , everything he is saying I’m thinking 🤔